Reason Live Tweets the GOP Debate: Now!

It's debate time! Join us for hours of news, views, and abuse about the first round of Republican faceoffs.

Comments

[Troy muy grande boner]

4 shots of Jagermeister down. I'm ready.

[*GILMORE*]

I'm already nauseous

[Los Federales]

What are you, in high school?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

My kinda guy. Exactly four shots of Jager, then it costs me a lot less to drink the rest of the night.

Good on ya, mate! Cheers!

[That's A Bingo!]

Lindsay Graham thinks fossil fuels hate our guts?

[Ra's al Gore]

Fossils are a lie from Satan.

[Fist of Etiquette]

LOVE BLIG! I mean, live blog.

[Los Federales]

I'm gonna go with....racist.

[Tonio]

GLIB LOVE!

[Mr. Paulbotto]

Nice band clothing line name.

[Old Man With Candy]

I fortunately do not have one of those television machines.

[SusanM]

Well, I do but I'd rather shoot a frozen turd through it than watch the debates - especially the second stringers.

[Paul.]

No YouTube?

[Old Man With Candy]

Don't fuck up my excuses.

[That's A Bingo!]

And mark! *stops watch* First Trump mention.

[Adans smith]

No,just no.

[*GILMORE*]

We need to get the money out of politics. Because if this is the best billionaires can do, its a waste.

We need to return to Thunderdome politics. Our leaders should be able to kill any of their political rivals with a chainsaw, or a very-big hammer.

[SusanM]

Better yet, Battle Roayle. Stick 'em on an island stocked with household objects and the one who makes it of gets the gig. I'd support anyone who can kill with a shoe tree.

[Ra's al Gore]

Wipeout obstacle course. These clowns only deserve cartoon violence.

Plus Jill Wagner.

[Trigger Hippie]

They certainly do NOT deserve Jill Wagner!

[John Titor]

I keep saying we need to have Vince McMahon run the debates.

UMAGA 2016. A heel in every ring, and a Samoan drop for every politician.

[lap83]

I'm not watching, but am I safe in assuming that someone is being Trumped?

[That's A Bingo!]

Trump should've bought time during these commercial breaks.

[*GILMORE*]

"""We need a ground force in Iraq and Syria, and America needs to be part of that ground force.""

Who is this "We"? I note = Iraq and Syria have things called "iraqis" and "syrians"

[kilroy]

90% of the seats are empty.

[lap83]

"UGH FIRE IN A CROWDED THEATER METAPHOR UGH"

not okay?

[*GILMORE*]

"ugh, Seriously? Seriously."

/Millenial wit

[*GILMORE*]

I remember the 1990s, when being "Extreme" was cool.

[Slammer]

No Fears, No Regrets, Just A Future With A Promise

[*GILMORE*]

"The Extreme Teen Bible dares teens to crack open its pages and live up to the cutting-edge standard found inside. This New King James translation (thoroughly explained in teen-friendly language) is clad in funky purple print and snowboard-type logos, appealing to the thrill seeker by promising a life of "no fears, no regrets, just a future with a promise." Generous introductions, full-page profiles of faith-filled biblical characters, and a quick reference index covering subjects from abortion to worship guide the young reader into a more "extreme" relationship with God."

Wow, that's *really* not the kind of content that normally has "Extreme Teen" in the title.

[Ra's al Gore]

Sayin' I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say it, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know

[*GILMORE*]

AHHHH NOT WHAT I MEANT MAKE IT STOP!!!

[SusanM]

I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on

[HazelMeade]

That's not from the 90s.

[*GILMORE*]

Its almost as bad. Maybe they'll cancel each other out.

[SusanM]

Kinda sorta

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcmOe2geZ4Q

[*GILMORE*]

Once you "go dark", you never.... uh, little help

[*GILMORE*]

Robby scores a point =

""Slow down there, Bernie Sanders!" - Something we can all say to Republican candidates when they start bashing immigration "

[John]

Roger Ailles shows Jon Stewart what it's s to have someone own you. Damn.

It is in the Hollywood reporter. Reason won't take the link.

[Slammer]

Heh. Killing with kindness...so much better than frothing.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Meh, pretty funny. I did scroll through the comments and land on this piece of gold, amidst back-and-forth about whether Hillary will go to prison:

"Tea sheep morons, well, with argument cogent as that who can disagree?"

I love Internet comments.

[John Titor]

Ailes is doing something that 'right wing commentators' could stand to learn; he's casting himself as the positive, happy individual while presenting Stewart as bitter and upset. It's a cheap tactic but it works.

[John]

Yes it does. And it's not a cheap tactic. It is a good time one.

[John Titor]

Actually, it is a cheap tactic, because it focuses on emotionally manipulating your audience, rather than providing a rational argument. Just because it's a good tactic doesn't mean its a cheap one.

[John Titor]

*Doesn't mean it isn't a cheap one.

[Dan Bongard]

I dunno, I think of "cheap tactics" as ones that take the low road compared to your opponent.

When you're dealing with a guy whose schtick was "use editing to make opponents seem stupid", playing the "I'm sorry he's so bitter and angry" card isn't really cheapening the debate.

[Hyperion]

To be fair, you can't win a rational argument with the left. And they'll do anything to win, no matter how underhanded or nasty. I'm afraid we're not going to win many battles against them without using some of their own tactics against them.

[ant1sthenes]

"I'm a Zelda, he's a Zoe."

[Palin's Buttplug]

These losers couldn't pay some of their staff to come in and support them?

The only one who got any applause was Santorum and it sounded like two people clapping.

[cavalier973]

They're realizing that the "discount tickets" were not actually for the Trump Debate.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Piyush "Bobby" Jingal - Obama won't say "ISLAMO TERRISTS!"

[AlmightyJB]

So are there 2 debates? One at 5 and one at 9?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Children eat first.

[John]

You mean Santorum the guy you have been claiming would be the nominee for the last four years.

[*GILMORE*]

There are a mass of debates

[Trigger Hippie]

I see what you did there.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Too bad they aren't benign.

[Charles Easterly]

Indeed, Almighty. The candidates who have the greatest name recognition - er - the candidates who are polling the highest among likely Republican voters will be on at 9 EST.

Does anyone have a good link through which I may watch these question and answer sessions? The room mates do not share my interest in politics and I don't care to get drenched by the heavy rain riding to a friend's.

[SIV]

I don't care to get drenched by the heavy rain riding to a friend's.

Get a car, hippie!

[Charles Easterly]

Shall you and I have a brief debate regarding the advantages of one utilizing a motorcycle over "non-hippy" means of conveyance?

[AlmightyJB]

Ok. Thanks!

[Charles Easterly]

You are welcome.

[HazelMeade]

What if presidential debates worked like the arena in the Hunger Games?
None of them would be allowed earpieces or teleprompters, but sympathetic audience members would be able to deliver them hints about what to say when they got stuck.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Gilmore is very much like Dubya without the family connections and word salad.

[*GILMORE*]

Dave ("Who let this guy in") Weigel chimes in

"I'm sorry how is asking Jim Gilmore what he'll do as president any less silly than asking me the plan for my date"

[Ra's al Gore]

Weigel? Date?

[*GILMORE*]

"President Gilmore" is indeed more plausible

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Hey, Buttplug likes to be wined and dined like any good escort!

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Hey, Buttplug likes to be wined and dined like any good escort he-bitch!

/classier 🙂

[Slammer]

Are we supposed to read these tweets?

[Hyperion]

Tweets are for the consumption of morons only. Don't go near twitter or facebook. That's the best mental health advice anyone can get.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Rick W. Perry making no sense again.

[*GILMORE*]

'candidates already know what they're going to say about Iran, regardless of the question. "

Uh, "What's the area of Iran famous for its Wine?"

[Charles Easterly]

Its ?

[*GILMORE*]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiraz

[Charles Easterly]

Again.

I went for snark. You went for something else.

"It is also considered by many Iranians to be the city of gardens, due to the many gardens and fruit trees that can be seen in the city. Shiraz has had major Jewish and Christian communities."

As a favor to me (and any who do not respond with comments to your posts of this nature), please continue.

[*GILMORE*]

I just happen to like Shiraz. I'm allergic to most red.

(cue sad violin)

I make up for it with whiskey

(cue screaming metal guitar)

[*GILMORE*]

"lindsey graham believes if we don't elect him we're all gonna die "

its a legitimate strategy!

/Hitler

[The Late P Brooks]

Thirsty. Soooooooo THIRSTY.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Oh thank baby Jesus, Santorum is on the B-team debate stage. I was still afraid he was doing OK thus far.

[Mazakon]

"I know it's probably been said 1,000 times, but I can't get over how much Graham sounds like Cleveland from "Family Guy""

Especially when Cleveland went on his talking to himself run-on sentences.

[Sudden]

A dated reference, but I'm pretty confident that Alan Keyes did the voice over for Marvin the Martian.

[Crusty Juggler]

I am going to go have a drink every time I think one of the Republican candidates will stumble answering questions about women's reproductive rights.

[fleshy wavefunction]

They just shouldn't mention the topic at all to infuriate the SJW crowd.

Trump might actually be like "I've already stated my anti-breast pump stance. Let me tell you about my wall..."

[Slammer]

I was at work today, and now I see there are 500+ comments on the RNC and the gays thread...
Bo? Tony? Dare I even read it?

[Warty]

John, I believe.

[Crusty Juggler]

Don't read it.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

There are some nuggets in the slop.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Gross!

[*GILMORE*]

Robby = "Santorum: "I'm not divisive." I wonder if fellow millennials agree. (They don't!)"

One-man polling really could have saved a great deal of Reason's money.

[Slammer]

What's up with Robby and those click bait lines lately? It might be a joke, but I'm not sure.

[fleshy wavefunction]

I keep imagining the Reason staff is having weekly meetings that can be summarized as "Guys, we need to be more like Buzzfeed.... But a LIBERTARIAN Buzzfeed. Our focus group (millenial poll) data indicates that's a perfect business model!"

[*GILMORE*]

Jokes are Not Okay.

[John Titor]

Like fleshy said, desperately trying to pull in millenials for their Libertarian Moment?

For the record, as a millenial, I find this transition hilarious. Because a few weeks ago, the writers were all declaring Trump to be the 'Idiocracy' candidate, but apparently dumbing down your magazine content is fine.

[Dan Bongard]

Maybe they saw how many of their commenters were dumb enough to like Trump and adjusted accordingly.

[*GILMORE*]

OOOH SICK BURN YO

[ant1sthenes]

What, 0? I mean I know there are probably several who are entertained by how much Trump pisses off the wrong sort of people, but that doesn't mean they like him in any sort of politically supportive sense.

[Sudden]

He's not divisive. Everyone agrees how absurdly bad he is.

[mad.casual]

Elizabeth N. Brown@enbrown
Not a single candidate used only 2 words to answer the ? "describe Hillary Clinton in 2 words" #GOPDebate

If the question really was begging for 'lying whore' as an answer is that slut shaming and did it deserve it?

[Warty]

"Ass. Hole."

[mad.casual]

I was disappointed in Trump. I expected more entertainment.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Crony socialist?

[Trigger Hippie]

Clown shoes?

[Paul.]

Bottom bitch.

[Christophe]

Cynical/Corrupt

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Two words:

Lying cunt
unfeeling bitch
retard opportunist
mendacious fat-ass
psychopathic narcissist

[Slammer]

Criminal filth.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Pusillanimous Cumdumpster

[DK]

Palin's Buttplug.

[That's A Bingo!]

Cuckolded wife?

[cavalier973]

Washed up?

[Zaytsev]

Ugly cunt.

[Azathoth!!]

Bill's Wife.

[Paul.]

It's three o'fucking clock in the afternoon! Who schedules something I refuse to watch at 3 o'clock?!! I'm still at work!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"Work"

[Paul.]

Nah, I'm working. Like, for real.

[DEG]

There's not enough alcohol in the world to get me through watching this debate, so I won't watch it. Instead, I'll catch up on Hit & Run and take care of other things.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

My cable card is giving me trouble. It's a blessing that's not really in disguise.

[DEG]

I've also had a sore throat bugging me, so no alcohol until it goes away. I have an upcoming trip to here, and I don't want to be sick for it.

I don't have TV, but I could find a stream if I cared to watch this debacle. I don't care to.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

My grandpa always said that brandy was good for a sore throat. Smart man.

[DEG]

Sometimes I'll have black tea, whiskey, lemon, and honey for a sore throat.

My grandfather swore by dandelion wine as a cough suppressant.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Why does everyone keep talking about drinking? I'm gonna need xanax and a joint for this one. The booze is just... Something to do with my hands, I guess.

[Antilles]

Tried Ecstasy for the first time this weekend and give it a Million Stars. It provides that happy, pleasant drunk feeling without (as much) of the impairment. Highly recommended!

[Sudden]

Also a really good thing to take while wearing microfiber shorts and attending a strip club.

Going to a bachelor party in Vegas this weekend. I hope to make that happen.

[Antilles]

Sounds fun. Enjoy yourself, but please be careful!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Microfiber?

Is this a gay strip club?

[*GILMORE*]

Bring cigars

never trust that other people will. (they don't). Also, everyone will thank you.

[DEG]

Microfiber? I thought it was sweat pants that you were supposed to wear to a strip club.

[Antilles]

Anything sheer will work. But being part Scottish, I usually wear my kilt...

[DEG]

Nice

[*GILMORE*]

Also = craps has the best odds, and is the most fun

Blackjack is basically giving your money away, and its boring.

[Suthenboy]

As shitty as all the people in the debate I just watched are, they are exponentially better than anyone the Dems have.

Jesus fuckin' Christ on a cracker, Rick Santorum? The political divide has never been greater, has it?

[SIV]

I'd take a Webb/Sanders ticket over Graham/Jindal

[cavalier973]

Biden/Trump all the way to the finish line.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Santorum/Huckabee or bust.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Rick Santorum is not better than Jim Webb. For that matter, he's not better than Joe Biden.

[Hamster of Doom]

.@CarlyFiorina is top searched in more states than any other #GOPdebate early candidates

They're just fucking with us now.

[Antilles]

I'm stunned at how many people are underestimating Fiorina. She's a smart and formidable candidate who articulates her positions very well. I already voted for her once to be my Senator (she lost, of course), and would happily vote for her for President. Mark my words...

[fleshy wavefunction]

Alright, Antilles. She seems very off-putting to me. But I'm ready to be convinced otherwise. Just not ready enough to watch the kiddie debate, I guess.

In all seriousness, this is likely to get her some more notoriety.

[Antilles]

She also did a great job on Bill Maher's show a few months back while surrounded by hostile people who longed for her to stumble or put her foot in her mouth--but she didn't. It annoys me and is insulting to her when people say she has no chance or is running for Vice President. Just keep an open mind.

[Hamster of Doom]

Oh, well. I'd hate to do anything you found annoying.

[Antilles]

Good Hamster 😉

[Sudden]

I hope she does well. She's third on my early list of who I wanna see win, behind Rand and the Donald.

[fleshy wavefunction]

You have The Donald above Cruz?

[Antilles]

I too am rooting for Fiorina, Rand (a serious long-shot), and Trump. The thought of any of the other candidates becoming President scares me...

[Calidissident]

Trump for the lulz I assume?

[Antilles]

Yeah, it'd been fun to have a President who just didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him. He could be a disaster like Schwarzenegger (someone I voted for--once), but at least he's not a career politician.

[Calidissident]

I disagree with you that Trump doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of him. I think he's trying to give off that image, but I think he cares very much about what the people who like that image think.

[Hamster of Doom]

I'm stunned at how many people are underestimating Fiorina... *poetic fulsome praise*

But no bias, right?

[Antilles]

Just my opinion based upon what I know about her. She's clearly smarter and has a more sensible grasp on the issues than most of the other candidates. My opinion of her might eventually change, but for now I'm a huge fan.

[Old Man With Candy]

She has the bigot and retard bloc sewn up. Good job, Carly, let's see if you can do for the US what you did for HP!

[Calidissident]

I thought Trump had that segment locked down?

[Old Man With Candy]

Apparently not.

[fleshy wavefunction]

OT. OMWC, finally got around to reading the Hayek piece you sent me. Great stuff. The notion that conservatism can't dictate direction or fight back was something I'd known intuitively, but never put into words adequately. Right on point.

[Old Man With Candy]

Glad you liked it- it's a classic, and Hayek was amazingly skilled at writing things in an explanatory way.

[Antilles]

But it looks like she lost the pedophile bloc! I'm sure Carly's crushed by your disapproval...

[Dan Bongard]

Fiorina's a smart person, no doubt about it.

The problem is that she has nothing to run on besides her brains. She's got no political experience and her private-sector career was controversial at best -- SHE did well, but HP not so much.

Her enthusiastic support for the H1-B program isn't going to win her any love from anyone outside the boardroom, either. Even if she speaks out against illegal immigration, "we need to prop up working-class salaries and undermine middle-class ones" isn't much of a campaign slogan.

[fleshy wavefunction]

They've been fucking with us since they put Huckabee at the adult's table. Fiorina basically won the special olympics of debates. She's now the adorable candidate.

[Hyperion]

No way I'm watching that shit, even if it's still on. I just came here to read the comments. I think even that will require some drinking.

[Irish ?s ESB]

So I see Carly Fiorina fucking annihilated all the morons who made up the GOP JV team. Fiorina is easily the best of that class, though she's also better than half the people who actually made the Big Kids debate.

It's a complete joke that John Kasich, Chris Christie, and Ben Carson are in the main debate and Fiorina isn't. I guess that shows the stupidity of the Republican electorate - Fiorina is a legitimately intelligent person who is eloquent and good at answering questions, so obviously no one supports her because they'd rather throw themselves behind Surgeon McGayhater, John "Ban Fargo" Kasich, and the New Jersey Whale.

[fleshy wavefunction]

It's a complete joke that John Kasich, Chris Christie, and Ben Carson are in the main debate and Fiorina isn't.

You forgot the Huckster. At least the other ones are current governors or a neurosurgeon... The Huckster is a pretty lackluster bass player. Oh and a huge nanny-state proponent and bible thumper.

[Tony]

Is there a concerted anti-Huck thing going on here? Lots of people singling him out for some reason. He was a governor. He loves Jesus the most. He says Obama is Hitler. What's not to like?

[Irish ?s ESB]

I'm not sure if you're serious or you can't figure out why libertarians don't like Mike Huckabee.

[Hyperion]

Well, there is the fact that Tony doesn't understand what a libertarian is. And he's a moron. So there's that to consider.

[Hyperion]

And he just proved my point beyond any doubt.

[Tony]

But the only libertarian on the stage is the guy everyone is throwing overboard for his impurity.

[Irish ?s ESB]

"But the only libertarian on the stage is the guy everyone is throwing overboard for his impurity."

Who here is throwing Rand Paul overboard for his impurity? Name names.

[fleshy wavefunction]

The authors on this site do like it's their job (in their defense, it kinda is). Tony doesn't understand that the authors and commentariat aren't the same people.

[Calidissident]

I don't think criticizing Paul when he disagrees with them = throwing him overboard. Most coverage of him has been positive, even if less so lately, as Paul has emphasized his more conservative side lately.

[fleshy wavefunction]

He was a governor.
Psh, everybody's been a governor.
He loves Jesus the most.
Jesus is just alright oh yeah.
He says Obama is Hitler.
Well he is sending Israel into the oven.

[John Titor]

the New Jersey Whale

To be fair he is an endangered species, and people go nuts for that shit.

[Dan Bongard]

The stupidity of the Republican electorate is illustrated by Trump being in first place despite being a long-time supporter of Hillary Clinton.

Once you get past Bush, Walker, and Huckabee, the remaining candidates are basically in a statistical tie. Which ones ended up in the "main" debate was random chance.

[Hyperion]

Trump will be gone soon. But yeah, people are dumber than dirt for supporting the clown like he's a serious candidate.

[Irish ?s ESB]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NdyEiYV1U4

Canadian politics confuses me.

[John Titor]

What do you not get?

[But Enough About Me]

A sense of hope, for one thing...

[fleshy wavefunction]

Holy shit haha PP just got... Uhm... Hacked apart going after Fiorina. h/t twitter feed above that nobody's really watching all that closely.

[Hyperion]

The left are pretty twisted to say the least. I mean it's one thing to defend the right to have an abortion, but to celebrate it the way they do like it's the greatest thing a woman could ever achieve is sick and demented. It's a wonder they don't have abortion parties the way normal sane women have tupperware parties. Bunch of sick fucks.

[fleshy wavefunction]

I love that PP thinks that Carly's position is "extreme."

The best part is that they were trying to rally their base and then got #backlash for it.

[Hyperion]

This is what they do. It's one of the things that infuriates me the most about the left. They've been moving the goalpost leftward for 100 years, with not much opposition. Now to be in the center you almost have to be a card carrying communist. And they call everyone right of the center an extremist. I hate them. Really I do.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Progressives love abortion at least as much as conservatives love guns, but they don't seem to realize that by their own logic that should make them Abortion Nuts.

[Tony]

That's the dumbest thing I've read today. You get the star! But the night is young, and there is a debate to watch.

[Dan Bongard]

If you think that was dumb, you should scroll up to where some guy said he didn't understand why libertarians were anti-Huckabee.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Well no, because what I said is 100% accurate. They actually do love abortion. Like love it. People go and get abortions and video tape themselves happily giggling about the abortion they're about to get.

They also throw crazy protests when politicians try to lower the time of the pregnancy where you're allowed to get an abortion, even though there are virtually no countries on Earth that allow abortions as late as America. So they scream about the terrible evil neanderthal Rethuglicans...making our abortion laws closer to those of prog-topias like Sweden.

So I can actually back up my point with evidence, which means it's less stupid than any comment you've ever made.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Example from Sweden's abortion laws:

"After the end of the eighteenth week of pregnancy an abortion may be performed only if the National Board of Health and Welfare has granted the woman permission for the procedure. Such permission may only be granted if exceptional grounds exist for the abortion.

Permission under the provisions of the first paragraph may not be granted if there is reason to assume that the foetus is viable."

When Texas made a law lowering the age at which a fetus could be aborted from 24 to 20 weeks, progressives threw a collective hissy-fit, even though this is two weeks after the most SUPER AWESOME PROG COUNTRY!?!?! allows the procedure. If that doesn't count as mindless love of abortion, no matter what the consequences and no matter what the age of the fetus, then I don't know what does.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Shhhhhhhhhhh! Progs get super upset when you mention anything about European policy not supporting their socialist-utopia view of that continent...

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Shhhhhhhhhhh! Progs get super upset when you mention anything about European policy not supporting their socialist-utopia view of that continent..."

Can you imagine if Republicans lowered the age of abortion to 18 weeks and then said women had to ask permission from bureaucrats before they could get the abortion?

Republicans should just say they support the Swedish abortion model and hope progressives assume that's a good thing since they're too stupid to do research and would just hear SWEDEN and have some kind of Pavlovian response.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Oh, and they also support exempting abortion clinics from the laws that must be followed by every other medical facility and they argue that overregulation will result in abortion clinics closing. The problem obviously is that this completely contradicts progressive arguments regarding regulation in every other instance. How can progressives simultaneously deny that over-regulation of the economy can damage economic prospects while using the exact same arguments libertarians use about regulations in order to defend abortion clinics?

Answer: Because progressive love abortion so much that all of their arguments must be shifted 180 degrees in order to defend abortion. So they make arguments that are the complete opposite of what they say in every other instance in order to defend abortion, which pretty much proves my Abortion Nuts thesis.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Because progressive love abortion so much that all of their arguments must be shifted 180 degrees in order to defend abortion.

You mean like how they hate practically every real-life civil liberty and then just pick a few tangental liberties that they can use for identity warfare?

[Tony]

We support keeping Republicans' grubby hands off the issue because what they want to do is ban the procedure entirely. So when the regulations are coming from Republicans (those lovers of regulation), and they are transparently designed to close down perfectly functioning clinics, yeah we oppose it. Regulation, sheesh. We've had a long established pattern of being against politicians making medical judgments. Believe it or not, favoring regulating Wall Street doesn't mean we want to regulate everything. The only hypocrites in this story are freedom-loving anti-regulatory dogmatists who want to make an exception for lady parts.

Nobody loves abortion any more than people love catheterization. It's just an occasionally necessary procedure that liberals believe people should be free to receive in a free country.

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Nobody loves abortion any more than people love catheterization. It's just an occasionally necessary procedure that liberals believe people should be free to receive in a free country."

Saying this in a world of Google was a mistake.

I Love Abortion: Implying Otherwise Accomplishes Nothing for Women's Rights

Here's a tumblr called I love abortion.

[Irish ?s ESB]

I love abortion t-shirts for sale!

Another individual revealed her own extensive and unbridled history with terminating pregnancies, stating: 'I've had 5 abortions because I love getting pregnant but just not ready for kids.'

One pregnant woman confessed that she had not yet had her procedure, but was indeed 'excited' to be rid of her debilitating symptoms: 'I don't want to to say it, but I can't deny it. I'm excited to have my abortion. Goodbye morning sickness!'

[Irish ?s ESB]

Woman says 'I love abortion,' defends woman who videotaped her abortion and said she wanted to make it a 'positive and happy experience.'

Man. There are so many of these. Would you like me to post links of people saying 'i love abortion' or comparing abortion to a 'spiritual experience' (yes these people exist) for the next hour or so, because I sure as shit can.

[Hyperion]

See what you meanies have gone and done again. You're now responsible for making Tony pass out face first in his own puke in his mommies basement floor and not be able to look for a job again, tomorrow, for the 1623rd straight day.

If not for you bullies, Tony would still be employed as an important analyst in identifying dangerous global warming deniers.

Wreckers and Kulaks, all of you.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Nobody loves abortion any more than people love catheterization.

Bullshit. See the link at the start of this thread. They call Fiorina an "extremist" (they caps-locked it; I'm not going to here) for going after... What? Them parting out fetuses/embryos/babies/people/whatever without anyone's consent? If that's extremism, you're starting from a place where you must necessarily love the notion of abortion, probably just to piss someone else off.

[fleshy wavefunction]

Besides, there's a catheterization fetish. That is something I never wanted to know. But I want others to experience the pain of having that knowledge.

[NotAnotherSkippy]

The only thing you don't want to regulate exists above the knees and below the sternum.

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Believe it or not, favoring regulating Wall Street doesn't mean we want to regulate everything."

But literally every time any sort of business regulation comes up, progressives support it. Point me to the last time a business regulation was proposed that didn't involve abortion and progressives were not in favor of it.

I'll wait.

As for your point about politicians not making medical decisions, if you really believed that then why do progressives not argue in favor of exempting other medical facilities from the same regulations abortion clinics want to be exempted from? Moreover, a lot of those medical regulations aren't put in place by politicians, they're actually put in place by government regulating agencies, so all the politicians are doing is arguing that the same regulations should apply.

Would you like me to annihilate any more of your arguments?

[NotAnotherSkippy]

Certificate of Need.

CDC

EPA

Any questions?

[Slammer]

We support keeping Republicans' grubby hands off the issue because what they want to do is ban the procedure entirely.

Well, before I'd like to see it banned (which I don't), I'd at least like the other side to treat the situation with a least a shred of seriousness, of touch of some sort of dignified decency with respect to the act. If you support abortion fine, but it seems a spittle flecked, frothing glee and callousness in the destruction of sub-human THINGS,

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Remember the time FOXNews featured Donald Trump as a legitimate candidate in an actual presidential debate?

[Dan Bongard]

You think this is bad? In the '88 elections the Republicans had Pat Robertson and the Democrats had Jesse Jackson. Holy cow did some stupid stuff get said in those campaigns.

Trump may be incapable of conveying a coherent unscripted thought, but he isn't built out of 100% crazy like those two are.

[Irish ?s ESB]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf67fcjAKF0

Man, Justin Trudeau is fucking stupid. He's the most vapid human being I've ever seen in my life.

[John Titor]

You think that's bad, read his goddamn book. Seriously, read it, I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO UNDERSTAND MY PAIN.

[Hyperion]

No. WTF? You read his book? Why?

[John Titor]

I was both a masochist and curious, because when Trudeau became the party leader he basically had no platform and actively said that the problem with the Liberal Party was that they focus too much on policy and not enough on 'connecting to Canadians'. I wanted to see if he had any kind of consistent political principles, and what I got was the autobiography of a vapid narcissist that things about politics on a grade-school level.

[John Titor]

Bear in mind the one advantage of this Trudeau is that unlike his father he's a moron. Trudeau Sr. had an animal cunning and political nose that allowed him to dominate Canadian politics for decades. His son is utterly incapable in comparison.

[But Enough About Me]

I met Trudeau Senior four times in my life, and while your description of him as having a certain animal cunning is pretty much on the mark, in other ways I was not at all impressed with the man's intellect. Too much a poseur, always referencing what are now derogatorily called "Dead White Males' " sayings and arguments to make himself sound smarter than he actually was. Kinda reminded me of the cool kids in University philosophy departments wearing all black in the 1980s, spending their time at the local coffee shop swilling java and trying to impress the chicky-poos.

Justin managed to get his mother's looks and his mother's brains, a toxic combination to say the least.

[Pan Zagloba]

Fuck it, I'm getting it for a friend's birthday, he can read it!

Anyone who claims John Rawls is a classic liberal asked for it.

[John Titor]

Also, this isn't even touching on the time Trudeau declared that he'd become a Quebec separatist if the Tories touched gay marriage or abortion, or if the country agreed with Harper on those issues.

Trudeau, a man who is supposedly running as leader of this nation, openly admitted that he thinks Canada can fuck off and die if everyone doesn't agree with him.

[Hyperion]

I see that the butthead has been out early lickin some cankles.

[fleshy wavefunction]

I think he might qualify as his own protected group.

[lap83]

about the planned parenthood GOP debate bingo card....

they were probably trying to be funny by repeating the name so much,
but I get more of a crazy "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" ad infinitum vibe

[fleshy wavefunction]

I think that's just how debates are. This isn't really a debate anyway...

[Irish ?s ESB]

By the way, just so everyone knows, it is now believed that all of the Syrians that the Obama Administration trained are either dead or have been captured.

What if the Bay of Pigs happened and no one noticed?

[Hyperion]

Aww, man, we're almost out of 'good' terrorists! Well, we have to create some more, or who will prez Hilldwag and her trusty sidekick McCain run weapons to? The Clinton foundation has to make more money, to save the children!

[Pan Zagloba]

Sudermastiff for President!

Sorry, Robby, your pup is adorable but just can't compete...

[Francisco d'Anconia]

With today's technology they can't do a live broadcast without an echo?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Can't your face do a thing... without.. a stupid look on.. SHUT UP

Fox Apologist!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The real story is Donald Trump...

Jesus fuck, are these guys serious?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The anticipation is killing me.

[Slammer]

OMGZ ITS LIKE ELECTION NIGHT!

[Apatheist ?_??]

God Christie is one fat fuck.

[Slammer]

Kickstarter to have a pizza delivered on stage!

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Megyn Kelly's hair extensions look awesome.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Yeah we should just cancel the debate and have Megyn Kelly and Kristen Powers bang on camera instead.

[Irish ?s ESB]

So long as they also invite my girl Jedidiah Bila.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jesus Christ, these moderators are going to have some apologies to make tomorrow.

[commodious spittoon]

What'd I miss? I had to tune in via radio, like a plebe.

[JEP]

If I wanted to see an asshole up that close, I'd go to one of those other websites....

[Fist of Etiquette]

WALKER WINKED AT ME!

[Fist of Etiquette]

They're giving Kasich a standing o? Confirms that Ohio is suck-ass state.

[commodious spittoon]

Mr. Trump roundly booed. Love it.

[commodious spittoon]

Oh my God, you babbling moron.

[Irish ?s ESB]

What did he say? I'm not watching because fuck these people (except Rand and to a lesser extent Scott Walker).

[Slammer]

They asked if he doesn't get the nomination if he would throw his support behind one of the others on the stage if they're the nominee, he said he would only guarantee he would support himself. Rand jumped his shit saying, "He buys and sells politicians, he's hedging his bet."

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Rand jumped his shit saying, "He buys and sells politicians, he's hedging his bet.""

DAYUM, you go Rand!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did Trump just lose?

[Sevo]

Fist of Etiquette|8.6.15 @ 9:05PM|#
"Did Trump just lose?"

Didn't that happen years ago?

[fieryscribe]

Rand Paul vs Donald Trump. Reason should have sponsored this debate

[Bee Tagger]

ben carson, you've shown youre smart in areas that really matter but not smart in areas that don't. what say you?

[commodious spittoon]

Carson sounds terrified.

[Bee Tagger]

i'm hoping for a carnac the magnificent bit

[Bee Tagger]

rubio: thanks for the question, allow me to use my very limited time to not answer it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

My girlfriend does a great job running my wang, doesn't mean I want her in charge of my whole body. THAT'S THE ANALOGY RUBIO SHOULD MAKE ABOUT BUSH AND FLORIDA.

[Bee Tagger]

Wait, in florida earning the name Jeb is a good thing?

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

You start out as the generic Florida Man. Getting a specific name is an honor.

[Bee Tagger]

bush comparing himself to a well-connected family getting what they want by force?

[commodious spittoon]

I was really hoping they'd just snub Trump the entire time.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did Trump just win?

[SIV]

Hell Yeah!

[Aloysious]

needz more ENB

[*GILMORE*]

"Robby Soave
@robbysoave
Megyn Kelly has been waiting a long time for this. (And good for her!)"

YOU GO GIRL

[Slammer]

Should Robby drop the parentheses going forward? (YES! He should!)

[Irish ?s ESB]

AND THAT'S OKAY

[commodious spittoon]

Megyn Kelly is okay.

[Slammer]

Is she hot or not? (YES! She is!)

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Trump's response to Paul "I've given you a bunch of money" was pretty good IMO. His "I'm not politically correct" thing is full of win, too.

[Aloysious]

Can I have an KMW and ENB only twitter feed? Thanks.

[commodious spittoon]

"Quickness and brain." Shakespeare he ain't.

[Bee Tagger]

trump off-mic: That Megyn Kelly is a real Rosie ODonnell, right crowd?

[Bee Tagger]

Ted Cruz: let's turn American into a bedroom community

[Apatheist ?_??]

Trump is such a clown, anyone who supports him is a complete moron.

[Hyperion]

This

[Irish ?s ESB]

Fact. Could also apply to Mike Huckabee, whose 7% polling numbers are flabbergasting.

[Apatheist ?_??]

The people who support Huckabee and Santorum are a special type of moron but they've always been around.

[Irish ?s ESB]

The anti-Mexican obsessives have also been around a long time, they just happen to have gotten lucky and finally gotten a one-issue candidate who speaks to their strange desires.

[Hyperion]

They're just jealous cause they've never had any Latin pussy.

[Bee Tagger]

Chris Christie: I see you were unable to get your opponent stuck in construction on the way to the debate

[Bee Tagger]

Christie knows the one thing the entire country agrees on is New Jersey sucks.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Christie wearing a skinny fit suit?

[*GILMORE*]

"Robby Soave
@robbysoave
Important: Campuses should not force students to be PC. That doesn't mean everyone is immune from criticism when they say nasty things "

So, the goals of political correctness - to punish those w/ impolitic opinions and to silence dissent - are not to be questioned, merely the methods. Peer Pressure FTW!

[Bee Tagger]

Ha, sorry scott walker, you get the abortion question

[commodious spittoon]

Fuck, I lost my stream. HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT HUCKABEE THINKS ABOUT ABORTION!?

[Hyperion]

You can hive mine, I refuse to use it.

[Hyperion]

have

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, Huckabee is in this? [looks at program]

[Bee Tagger]

Trump's like "this huckabee guy's into bass slaps, but i'm into ass slaps"

[Apatheist ?_??]

Please god, Rand, don't talk about fucking abortion.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Huckabee is doing some spectacular trolling.

[Hyperion]

I just can't watch it.

Not much mention of Jeb yet. Isn't he the real front runner?

[straffinrun]

Why do you hate yourself, Rand?

[Apatheist ?_??]

That was pretty nice needle threading by Rand actually.

[Bee Tagger]

GET TO THE FARGO QUESTIONS, KELLY

[Apatheist ?_??]

DRUG TSUNAMI AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Hyperion]

Drugs? Wut?

[Apatheist ?_??]

I nearly drowned in the drug tsunami washing over America, but Kasich saved me.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

NeedZ moar Facebook logos on the screen.

[Fist of Etiquette]

How many finally's was that?

[*GILMORE*]

"Will Wilkinson
@willwilkinson
Huckabee does not understand the difference between species membership and moral personhood. "

sigh. anyone care to try and explain that? I stopped reading Will because he seems to operate on Snoot-Level Defcon5.

Also = Kerry Howley is probably still very hot.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'RE A TOWEL!

[Aloysious]

David Harsanyi
@davidharsanyi
i'm sure clinton will face similarly difficult questions.

FUNNY!

[Hyperion]

Yeah right, like 'what type of tea do you enjoy most in the morning?'

[Sevo]

And 'how about those icky Republicans who accuse you of things?'

[fieryscribe]

Quick, someone ask Trump something about immigration. I want my free tacos from Eat24

[Bee Tagger]

Bush's and their strategery

[Irish ?s ESB]

I want Rand to come out in favor of full drug decriminalization. Do it Rand!

I mean, it would immediately lose him any hope of getting back in this election, but it would be nice to at least get that idea floated in a Republican primary.

[Hyperion]

To be fair, no Dems will do that either. And of course, they will never even be asked such a question.

[Apatheist ?_??]

But what about the drug tsunami washing over American families?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Shouldn't the candidates be answering the same questions? AND WHERE IS THE DEBATE PART OF THIS DEBATE?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

+1 High School

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

This is going to replace the Friday "Funnies", isn't it.

I'm OK with that.

[Vampire]

Rand did horrible with the isis answer.

[commodious spittoon]

Do you stand by not to totally vilifying those dirty terrorists sneaking over our border and stealing all our high-paying American jobs?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did Jeb fire the first shot at Obama?

[Sevo]

"I didn't notice that Mike Huckabee ignored the gay marriage part of his question and focused just on abortion."

Dunno, Scott. Looks like you did notice.

[SIV]

Retweeted by @enbrown
Will Wilkinson
@willwilkinson
Huckabee does not understand the difference between species membership and moral personhood.

What is this shit doing in my Reason? Will is like MNG with his "OK, if animals don't have rights let's eat the retarded" line of reasoning.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

BAM! THE DONALD DROPS THE VORPAL MESSICAN BOMB!

[Aloysious]

Jesse Walker
@notjessewalker
"Mr. Trump, would you be willing to moon the camera? Right now?"

*throws dollar bills at monitor*

[Irish ?s ESB]

I'm at my parent's house because we're going on vacation this weekend, and my dad is listening to this downstairs. Whenever a song ends on Youtube I get quick snippets of Republicans saying stupid shit.

I just heard some babbling about SANKTUARY CITIES and how PEOPLE ARE DYING.

I like the way Republicans have taken like 3 murders and turned it into a national crisis of Mexican serial killers.

[Bee Tagger]

/Trump pulls playing card from pocket
"I have the trump card on immigration, here's my evidence on the mexican government"

[commodious spittoon]

Orly, Trump? Isn't it a little early to rewrite history? You need to win, first.

[Bee Tagger]

a wall is insane, right? i mean, we all know this, right?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Walls in my house aren't insane.

YEAH, I WENT THERE!

[Bee Tagger]

true, i forgot about load-bearing walls

[Fist of Etiquette]

And also there should be a beautiful casino on the other side of that wall!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I GOT YOUR DOOR, RIGHT HERE! IT'S BEAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL, JEB!" - The Donald

[commodious spittoon]

And the biggest applause line is for fucking immigration. GOP, you are fucked.

[Hyperion]

Umm, this is a Fox News audience. Did you expect anything else from the fans of Bill O'Reilly?

[commodious spittoon]

Still, though.

It's the conservative equivalent to war on wyminz. Totally divisive, totally overblown, and totally pointless. But unlike Democrats, the GOP cannot for their life manage divisiveness so well.

[SIV]

Immigration restriction is popular across the political spectrum of voters. Bernie Sanders is getting a lot of mileage out of it.

[Hyperion]

This is actually true.

[Bee Tagger]

DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THE OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE THING TRUMP DID? WHY WOULD ANYONE LISTEN TO HIS CLAIMS OF EVIDENCE OF THINGS?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I was at the border last week, and people I deal with..."

So, made up. Got it.

[*GILMORE*]

I just heard Trump talking up the idea of a Wall.

ANTI-MOAT TRUMP IS WEAK ON IMMIGRATION
#weneedsharkfilledmoatbetweenUS&Mexico;

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Laser sharks or GTFO, SOFTY!

[Irish ?s ESB]

"#weneedsharkfilledmoatbetweenUS&Mexico;"

Due, the Rio Grande is right there. All we have to do is divert its flow and then fill it with piranhas or something.

[commodious spittoon]

I've waded in the Rio Grande a time or two. You can find spots where, I kid you know, your shins are almost submerged.

[Irish ?s ESB]

That's why we fill it with piranhas, stupid. Sharks won't fit.

[*GILMORE*]

Rio Peque?o AMIRITE!?

#USNeedsDeeper+SharkierMoat

[*GILMORE*]

Irish Opposes Native Shark Labor - Wants to Outsource Border Security to Latin Fish-Species

THIS KIND OF TRAITOR SHOULDNT BE TRUSTED WITH OUR SAFETY
#PutAmericanSharksToWork

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"He's gonna drop down after this...." - Mrs. Almanian, re: TRUMP.

This is why I married this woman....

[Apatheist ?_??]

Lol, the wall needs to be built fast. What's fast in government terms for such a project. 50 years?

[Hyperion]

Never

[Fist of Etiquette]

Facebook question: What's your stance on Farmville subsidies?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

WE LOVE IT! - Iowa

[straffinrun]

We salute the 50 states of freedom!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Donald Trump's hittin' a nerve - YEAH, MY LAST ONE

[commodious spittoon]

I vote Albanian Reason's commenter ambassador on the twitter feed.

[Slammer]

Albanian...nice John-O

[Hyperion]

The Albanians are takin our jerbz!

[Slammer]

Well, they did take Little Italy in the Bronx from the Italian mob.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

HEY! My eyes are up here....

*narrows teh gaiz a' al Swiss*

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

God damn they all suck balls. So far. All of them - yes, incl R Paul

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Carly Fiorina wins this round.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THIS ^^

[Bee Tagger]

What about a dome over the united states? Watch live tonight on Under the Dome, only on fox or cbs or something

[PapayaSF]

A not entirely off-topic economics joke:

Krugman and Bernanke are walking down the street and see a pile of dog shit. Bernanke says: "I'll give you $20,000 to eat that pile of shit." Krugman does it, gets paid, and they keep walking.

After a while they see another pile of shit on the sidewalk. Seeing an opportunity for revenge, Krugman says: "Tell you what, I'll give you $20,000 to eat that pile of shit." Bernanke does it, Krugman gives him back the money, and they keep walking.

After a while Bernanke says: "I'm feeling pretty sick. We both ate shit and neither of us is any richer."

Krugman answers: "You're missing the bigger picture. We've increased the GDP by $40,000 and created two jobs."

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Good one...

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

IMMIGRATION IMMIGRATION IMMIGRATION IMMIGRATION IMMIGRATION

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMPT YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING ABOUT THIS IF I HADN'T BROUGHT IT UP!

/Trump Voice

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

EVEN WORSER CRIMINALS FROM MOAR COUNTRIES!!! NO MORE SPICS, AMIRITE, RUBESTER?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Do any of these fucks have the balls to say, no you fucking idiots we're not building a goddamn trillion dollar wall.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Half decent Rubio answer except for eVerify.

[Bee Tagger]

Scott Walker, you changed your mind, are you an alien or a monster, which is it?

[Rhywun]

Um, the Project Runway season premiere is on. Sorry, The Donald.

[Slammer]

Rhywun are you Bay Ridge? I am. We should organize a Brooklyn Reasonoids meet up. I know Freedom Frog is bay ridge, and I think MJGreen is NYC, we need a roll call.

[Rhywun]

Yup, Bay Ridge. I think there's a few New Yorkers - don't remember who.

[Fist of Etiquette]

BOOM YOU'VE JUST BEEN WALKERED.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Looks like

[dons Fist's sunglasses]

these boots were made for Walker....

[Apatheist ?_??]

When you are killed by an illegal, you're extra dead.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I thought it was raycists with Confederate flag tattoos?

I have no idea what's goin' on....

[Irish ?s ESB]

When an illegal murders, he doesn't merely kill you, he destroys your soul due to the black magic of darkest Mexico.

[Calidissident]

When an illegal kills you, you can't be with Jesus, because your soul gets taken by Quetzalcoatl.

[Bee Tagger]

clevery word play, cruz. using cartel in an immigration question to refer to the US government

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Nelson Cruz is on fire.

[Fist of Etiquette]

BOOM YOU'VE JUST BEEN CRUISED.

[Bee Tagger]

Hey crowd, remember how awful you looked when Trump hid behind anti-PC to excuse insulting women, the men on stage are here to make you look good in comparison on immigration

[straffinrun]

7 million people across the face of the globe? Hey Cruz, was there a genocide recently I'm not aware of?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Oh god, softball for Paul. Please hit it out of the park.

[Hyperion]

Of course I like cute kitty videos on youtube as much as everyone, who wouldn't like cute kitty videos!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Chris Christie the first to pull the 9/11 card?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I'm the only person on this stage who's TRUMPED up charges as a fucking fascist Prosecutor..."
IT'S 911 TIMES 10000 POUNDS!

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Something tells me Paul and Christie won't be looking to the other if they have to select a running mate...

[Irish ?s ESB]

I'm going to laugh my ass off if Carly Fiorina clearly has the best debate and they don't invite her to the second one.

[Hyperion]

She was playin the minor league bro. If they try it, Christie will just accidentally fall on her.

[Dan Bongard]

Looking like a genius when debating Santorum and Graham is not the hardest thing in the world.

[Fist of Etiquette]

BOOM YOU'VE JUST BEEN PAULED.

[Hyperion]

GDAMNIT! FOE, I can't make any sense out these BOOMS! Explainzzzzzz!!!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

You're too shell shocked to make sense! BOOM

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'RE A TOWEL! YOU'RE A TOWEL! YOU'RE A TOWEL!

[*GILMORE*]

"Christopher Hayes
@chrislhayes
This immigration rhetoric is a disaster for the party and only Jeb seems to understand that."

lol

and trump got his bump in the polls *why*, again?

I love the democratic pundits who are just confounded why the GOP doesn't just nominate more 'good ones' like Mitt Romney.

[Irish ?s ESB]

I like the Democratic pundits who don't realize huge percentages of Democrats are anti-immigrant and Bernie Sanders has been strongly opposed to illegal immigration this entire election.

[*GILMORE*]

" huge percentages of Democrats are anti-immigrant and Bernie Sanders has been strongly opposed to illegal immigration this entire election."

Chris Hayes = LA LA LA LA LA LA GOP HATES BROWN PEOPLE LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

[Calidissident]

I thought Sanders position was against more immigration, but ok with amnesty for those already here. Didn't he vote for one of the amnesty bills in years past?

[Dan Bongard]

Your front-runner is now a long-time Democrat supporter and Clinton associate.

Figured out yet why blindly following anyone who bashes Mexicans is a dumb idea?

[*GILMORE*]

"Your front-runner "

Yeah, you seem lost. You were looking for "TEAM-RED-CHEERLEADING.com" Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Why is Rand Paul yelling?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'RE A TOWEL!

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

I think he loses control of himself when angry. But he won that exchange with Christie.

[Bee Tagger]

It's good that he was emphasizing the bill of rights and 4th amendment when yelling

[Fist of Etiquette]

I can't tell if Christie is being booed.

[Hyperion]

His layers of fat are absorbing all the boo waves?

[Dan Bongard]

I wonder if Paul will get a poll bump out of the mutual animosity with Christie. Christie's the most widely-reviled person in the race among Republicans.

[Apatheist ?_??]

The 4th Amendment is ridiculous man!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Here's the problem, governor - you're a fat fucking retard.

[Fist of Etiquette]

#huggate

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'VE BEEN OBAMA HUGGED

*drops mic*

[Bee Tagger]

ooof, so strong from paul until the hug comment

[straffinrun]

Zing!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, shit. Eye roll. Damn.

[Apatheist ?_??]

9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11

[commodious spittoon]

Fuck you, Jeb. Fuck you.

[commodious spittoon]

Or Christie, I guess. I just got back.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Same thing - whatevs

[fieryscribe]

I think Rand Paul hurt Christie's feelings

[Fist of Etiquette]

Megyn stopped Christie from further digging himself deeper.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Wow - only black guy they could get besides Carson is via the interwebs?

Oh - GOP = RACIST

[Aloysious]

Balko in the house

[*GILMORE*]

"Elizabeth N. Brown
@enbrown
Oof. Rand's "I will continue to stand for the Bill of Rights" got way less applause than Trump's "Roise O'Donnell is a fat pig"

UGH. PROBLEMATIC

[Apatheist ?_??]

It actually is kind of problematic. But I don't think the cheers were that different.

[commodious spittoon]

But is it... okay? I'm so confused. Is Soave around to clarify?

[*GILMORE*]

I think we should all take a moment to dwell on the fact that we all regularly laugh about what a disgusting fat fuck Chris Christie is.

and how that probably is *NOT OKAY*. Think about it.

[Irish ?s ESB]

IT'S NOT OKAY

[Apatheist ?_??]

How many 9/11 families did Christie squash with his big fat fuck hugs?

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

I chortled.

[commodious spittoon]

That's a common misconception about Christie. The truth is his arms are 95% subcutaneous fat and he has little actual upper-body strength. It's like hugging a man-sized plush doll.

The sweat stench, however, is permanent.

[Rhywun]

What in hell is a fuck-hug?

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Megyn, we need a Commander-in-Chief not a belly-itcher."

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"HEEEEYYYYYYYY FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY FATTY!!!" - R Paul

[Slammer]

The Bill of Rights is RIDICULOUS!

[straffinrun]

How to destroy ISIS in 90 days? 91 days is too damn long.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

If you join ISIS, YOU ARE LITERALLY ALREADY DEAD! JUST LIE DOWN!

[Bee Tagger]

ted cruz's slogan: Ten word answers that the united states of america needs, period.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THANK YOU CLEVELAND! GOOD NIGHT!

[Aloysious]

Somebody, anybody, throw a box of donuts at Christie!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

One, two, three, what are we fightin' for.....I still don't know.

[Bee Tagger]

"your brother's war"
jeb, i mean, i dont want to tell you how to do your job but man, you could probably point out that lots and lots of people voted for that thing.

[fieryscribe]

Jeb, Obama left Iraq because of the agreement your brother signed.

[straffinrun]

These dictators are tough and ruthless. These dictators are gruff and toothless.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Sorry Jeb, all I hear is blah blah blah I'm a dirty whore

[Bee Tagger]

jeb, quick, complex foreign policy for nuanced situation in 1 minute, go.

[Vampire]

Rand is doing shitty. He should have responded to Christie anyway.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Walker - throw cheese curds at Christie! DO IT!

[Apatheist ?_??]

Man Jeb's a lot shittier of a talker than his brother.

[SIV]

Jeb's the dumb one.

[straffinrun]

Ouch.

[Irish ?s ESB]

It's true though. W had a certain whimsical folkiness about him, Jeb is just as ineloquent but he's way more boring.

[straffinrun]

So your saying he has an excellent shot, eh.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Egypt isn't in Israel now, is it?

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

I'm pretty sure Rand just blew up any chance he had. He took a beating from the fat fuck that he's not going to recover from. While his point was legitimate it won't resonate with the Republican base and its subtly is lost in this circus. He looked nervously over aggressive. He just lost.

[SIV]

Walker loves the Saudi scum?

[Fist of Etiquette]

BOOM YOU'VE JUST BEEN CARSONED.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

bout time

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Ben Carson doing his Nat X impression - SOLID

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

The black guy always dies first. Look out, Carson.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

+1 expendable black guy

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

His handlers clearly told him to work in "intellect" into every response.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Well, he IS clean and articulate....

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

CARSON TALK IN THIRD PERSON LIKE STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH VOTE CARSON!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

RAPE HIM LAST!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I hope Carson speaks of himself in the third person all night. That would set him apart.

[commodious spittoon]

Dr. Carson, you're a doctor. If elected to office, would Chris Christie make it an entire term without a debilitating cardiac event?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"Well, I'm a neurosurgeon, so how he can live without a brain - THAT'S the question"

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

BURNNN

[fieryscribe]

Carson has talked to advanced people

OK.

[Aloysious]

Who is Dante Atkins?

*gOOgles*

Classicist. Linguist. Politico. Millennial class warrior.

Yeah, you can fuck right off.

[Irish ?s ESB]

He also has a dailykos account which he posts on his twitter.

[Aloysious]

That makes him even worse. But not worser than Nikki.

[Bee Tagger]

new show idea: trump you said this, now you say this, please explain by not explaining why

[commodious spittoon]

Ho ho! Trump, single payer apologist. SUCK IT.

[Protagoronus]

ARE YOU NOW OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A CANADIAN?

[commodious spittoon]

Paging Ice Trey.

[But Enough About Me]

Yes. Yes I am. Bite Me.

[fieryscribe]

And that's the dagger into Rand

[Bee Tagger]

newsflash rand paul and everyone, DO NOT ENGAGE TRUMP, IT'S POINTLESS.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

TRUMP SMASH, ENGAGE!

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Rand must be doing it intentionally. Maybe just to get himself out there as an alternative.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'RE A TOWEL, CHRIS WALLACE! - TRUMP

[straffinrun]

Get rid of the artificial lines. Obamacare or Immigration answer?

[Bee Tagger]

everyone talk at the same time, starting now

[Aloysious]

im Epstein
@jimepstein
Wait, is Trump saying something sensible about health care?

Doubtful

[commodious spittoon]

Trump is the Godfather.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Um Trump just say he's a proud crony capitalist?

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Yeah, but it was an effective criticism of the bought-and-paid-for politicians.

[Slammer]

It works in Canada?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS FUNDING AN EVIL DICTATOR! - TRUMP

[commodious spittoon]

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS FUNDING AN EVIL stalking horse for an evil wannabe DICTATOR! - TRUMP

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

DON'T CORRECT ME I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY AND GIVE IT TO EVERYONE! - TRUMP

[Bee Tagger]

i will say this, give trump the right topic, he's engaging and fun

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

"Mr. Trump, what do you belie--"

Trump: "Have I mentioned how much money I have? "Because I have lots of it!"

[Bee Tagger]

FACEBOOK PERSONS

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ha, Trump is defending himself by saying he gleefully tossed money into the "broken system".

[Apatheist ?_??]

If his poll numbers don't crater after this debate, America is doomed.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No one is watching. His poll numbers might hinge on how journalists frame his performance.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

It's not to big to shrink - THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Huckster in b4 everyone with a that's what she said joke!

[Bee Tagger]

Sigh, the part of the show where i sort of like something huckabee said

[commodious spittoon]

I hate that Huckabee is such a compelling speaker. Probably the only sincere-sounding candidate on the stage.

[Slammer]

If you buy politicians, they do what you want.

/Trump

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Oh BOY, here with go with the evangelism...wait...this is Carson. WHERE IS THE HUCKSTER ON TITHING?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Bible card. Gutsy, even with a GOP primary.

[Apatheist ?_??]

That's probably the most retarded explanation of a flat tax I've ever heard.

[Bee Tagger]

BOOO, COMMON CORE, WE'D RATHER WORK OUT OUR BICEPS

[commodious spittoon]

*narrows gaze*

COME BACK TO US, SWISS

[Fist of Etiquette]

He can't. It was leg day and he can't walk right now.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

lightweight

[Protagoronus]

Government is God. Give unto Caesargod.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

All praise Godverment!

[straffinrun]

Karl Marxon, pay according to your ability.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

State responsibility? States' rights. THEREFORE RACIST! Way to spell out ur racism, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Education is ***NOT*** a state-wide responsibility, you statist fuxktard.

[straffinrun]

Awful isn't it. They want to be the party of freedom, yet this garbage keeps floating off the stage like a biscuit.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Er, curriculum, that is. I'm a few drinks in.

[Derpetologist]

Drinking report: 1 pint Boddington's, 1 12 oz pear cider, 1 12 oz Coal Miner's Daughter oatmeal stout. I have to watch my weight.

OT: "Al Gore" sings a ballad about Cecil the Lion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHUctJf1JJ8

[Aloysious]

1 bottle of vodka, limes, and guava nectar,

yum yum

[commodious spittoon]

The cheapest 1.5L bottle of wine I could find. I usually go for the even cheaper 750mL, but tonight seemed like an occasion for insobriety.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Dogfish Head "Midas Touch" and Southern Tier 2XIPA. 2/3 of the craft beers in the local store are IPAs. That craze needs to die yesterday.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I have a Double Ipa, a Berliner Weisse, a hefeweizen, a walloon, and scotch ale in my fridge all from my local grocery store. All but two from Houston and all but one from Texas. You just need better stores.

[Plopper]

Yep, those IPAs sure are great. I love the taste of juiced Christmas tree.

Nothing beats those beers that taste like a bottle of Worcestershire sauce though.

[lap83]

Which pear cider?

[Derpetologist]

Sonoma Cider: The Pitchfork

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Boy, this is the worst televised chat room EVAR

[commodious spittoon]

If only they had proper threading.

And an edit button.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I meant the TV debate. But, yes - what you said.

[Vampire]

Tithing was optional. Carson is comparing gov't to God. Such bullshit, cause he should have read Samuel.

No matter how much he prays, God won't answer him because he already has his gov't that he sees worthy of tithing and godlike.

[Apatheist ?_??]

All he was talking about was a 10% flat tax anyways, don't know why he needed to talk a bunch of gibberish instead of just saying flat tax.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

tithing is mandatory - HIS tithes, YOUR additional "offerings", optional

TRUMP HAS NO PROBLEM TITHING! - Donald

[commodious spittoon]

Not God, but the Church. It wasn't a bad line, to be honest. Hits the mark about proportionality, but also about having skin in the game. You're still expected to tithe, even if you're poor.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Dumbing down everything. Mmm hmm

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

No wonder Cleveland lost the bassetball finals. BORED TO DEATH

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THEY TUK R JERRRRBZZZ question from interwebz lady. Nice

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Magneto Steve Jobs? That explains nothing.

[Hyperion]

Wow, this all sounds so bad that I now know why I refused to actually watch it.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

It is kind of fun to hear the derp. I literally made it through one question and the first phrase of Governor Lenscrafters response in the JV debate before I turned it.

This one's kinda fun, in the "watching a train wreck, then standing around and watching the firetrucks and ambulances come, then watching the wrecker come and try to put the train back on the tracks....

Kind of.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Governor Lenscrafters

noice

[Aloysious]

Anthony Weiner
@anthonyweiner
Not a bad defense of single payer health plan by Trump.

CARLOS DANGER!

He's my hero.

[commodious spittoon]

Talk about damning with faint praise. "Here's a guy even a Democratic scumbag deviant ex-politician could get behind."

[Migrant Log Chipper]

What will he tweet when the old lady heads to Leavenworth (assuming they are still married, which I don't know or care).

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Yep no one understands problems more than the son of a mailman. #WINNING

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mailman = regular American.

[commodious spittoon]

At least he wasn't scrubbing toilets, like all those dirty furreners.

[commodious spittoon]

/kellyosbourne

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

My father was a mailman...

Is he calling his mother a whore?

[Bee Tagger]

oooooooooo, kasich, you missed the chance to say "the broad way", that would have killed.

[Hyperion]

According to the Sludge Report poll, 52% of people think Trump is winning the debate. The good news is that Paul is 2nd with a whopping 8%.

[Irish ?s ESB]

To be fair, the type of people who would take a Drudge poll are universally retarded.

[Irish ?s ESB]

By the way, that Drudge poll only has 14,000 votes but has been tweeted out 23 thousand times.

Apparently there are 9 thousand people who were like 'Yeah, I care enough to tweet this to my followers, but not enough to vote myself.'

[Hyperion]

I don't know about that. Ron Paul always used to win these things. Not that it meant anything in the long run. But Drudge is just a news aggregate site, I use it all of the time, it's convenient.

Could be that Slick Willy is sitting in his lounger and voting again, and again, and again, and again, and....

[Calidissident]

Ron Paul had a pretty dedicated brigade of Internet fans. And let's face it, some of them were morons and gave him and the rest of his fans a bad name.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Instapundit is far better than Drudge as an aggregator.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

What'd Kasich say?

/restart daydreaming

[straffinrun]

Know who else wasn't mentioned enough tonight?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Heather Locklear?

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

I was gonna say Ronald Reagan, but then they went and had a Reagan wankfest.

[Bee Tagger]

Well done, Carson.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

If she comes at me?

COME AT ME, BRO!!

I'd vote for him if he said that. Nope...pussy....

[Bee Tagger]

Oh no, alinsky, how quickly that answer fell apart.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

JERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBZZZZZZZZ!!!!

[commodious spittoon]

How many in the audience are scratching their heads about the Alinksy reference.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"And, after two terms, if I don't hit that mark, i won't run again. That's my pledge."

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

High, lofty - I like this guy - Towelie

[Aloysious]

Why aren't they talking about our crumbling infrastructure??

[commodious spittoon]

1) high lofty expectations
2) buoy up morale
3) ???
4) high growth rate!

[Rhywun]

I'm checking in during commercials from Project Runway and it's just Bush and Carson every time. Needs more Trump.

[commodious spittoon]

You're really not missing anything. He's a toupee with a gibbering retard hanging off.

[Rhywun]

Um, yeah. That's what I was hoping to see.

[commodious spittoon]

WELL I'M SORRY IF I CAN'T SATISFY YOU

*runs from room sobbing*

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Embrace the darkness! Yes! Let it course throuh you Governor Sunshine State!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

HEY, IS DONALD TRUMP IN THIS DEBATE????!!!

[Hyperion]

Apparently he's won it. Look at the Drudge poll.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

BOUGHT AND PAID FOR POLITICIANS GONNA...BOUGHT AND PAID FOR!1!!1!

[Hyperion]

I have heard that the Clinton Foundation has lots of money. But Trump probably wouldn't care as he has more money than the Clintons, I'm sure. But not more power. And I hear ol Bill has a line on the young intern cushy squeezin if the old battleaxe winds up in the oval office. Donald and Willy could be like the 2 tushy squeezin geezin banditos.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Is Walker threatening to burn down Washington DC? RIGHT WING TERRORISTS!111!!

[Apatheist ?_??]

I have a better Wisconsinite in mind for president... J.J. Watt.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

What, no QB Rogers?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Rogers is Californian.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Who works in Wisconsin. Come on - WORK WITH ME!

[Slammer]

Arian Foster came out as an atheist today. Just wanted to bring that up.

[Apatheist ?_??]

He's a pretty interesting dude actually besides being a fantastic running back.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

You said "came out" - huh huh, huh huh

[straffinrun]

Thanks a lot. *Ahem, Chippewa Falls in the house.*

[Migrant Log Chipper]

We should draft Watt.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I'm the other guy on the stage who looks like our party's mascot" - Christie

[Vampire]

lolz

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Half way in, winners: Walker and Rubio

[Hyperion]

Extremely depressing.

[Derpetologist]

Clash of the Cretins

[Apatheist ?_??]

Means testing SS? My granddad just had an aneurysm.

[commodious spittoon]

Fuck means testing, phase it out. Sorry, younguns, but here's the price you get to pay for not having to look after your folks.

[Apatheist ?_??]

He does support phasing it out. He doesn't need his SS at all, but he'll be damned it he'll be means tested after being robbed for over 50 years.

[Dan Bongard]

That's just another way of saying "you should fuck over my kids and grandkids instead of me". It is mathematically impossible to resolve Social Security without forcing people to pay taxes for benefits they never receive.

[Dan Bongard]

Who proposed means testing SS?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Christie. And Huckabee's retarded reply was that SS doesn't need to change at all, we just need to put you people to work so that there's more pockets to pick.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

If these people had any brains they'd advocate for personal accounts.Even my liberal nieces know the money won't be there when they retire in 35 years.

Even left leaning kids are smart enough to realize it. At least the millenials I know.

These idiots never brought it up, talk about wasting an opportunity.

[The Late P Brooks]

I feel like a drunk in a doorway, listening to a bunch of people walking by talking about a party I wasn't invited to.

"And then Bob said blah blah bah, and you should have seen the look on Maisie's face!"

Priceless. Or something.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Like when the first Sharknado ran and I didn't watch, but FELT like I watched via Twitter.

[straffinrun]

Christie referring to himself as "We".

[Hyperion]

The multitudes of wees... wees hungry! Is there a quad-burger joint around here? Flees stage...

[*GILMORE*]

"Ed@edkrayewski
Ask @ScottWalker why he exempted police and firefighters unions from public union reform. How will he lead?"

Perfect, why do you hate The Good so?

[*GILMORE*]

""GASP! Rand Paul is mildly hawkish! We should not vote and just let hillary win.""

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Retweeted by @edkrayewski
Doug Stanhope@DougStanhope
Jesus I'm not even drinking during this. I don't know whats going wrong with my life. #GOPDebate

Shit, I'm drunker than Stanhope?

[Bee Tagger]

Ohhhh, huckabee, you could only hold on for so long

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy." - Huckster

[commodious spittoon]

Huckabee just lost the pimps&hoes; vote.

[Mazakon]

What's this about Cruz and cilantro?

[straffinrun]

Why are the top 10% getting all this money from capital gains? Somebody say "The FED!, Duh!" I miss Ron Paul on the stage.

[commodious spittoon]

I have used the laws of this country and the prodigious wealth my father left me.

[Bee Tagger]

trump trump trump cant you see, the way you use the laws hypnotize me

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

TRUMP LOSING ENERGY! MUST....GET....TAX REBATES!! MUST....cRONhy..fade..fl.......

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZt

[Bee Tagger]

Fox kind of reveling in trying to embarrass Trump

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently they don't understand how well he and his supporters do it themselves.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

MISTER ROGERS REFERENCE! TRUMP REGAINING CHARGE!

[commodious spittoon]

Morpheus voice: "You're... living in a makebeleive world, Chris"

[Bee Tagger]

ha, that there was trump's wheelhouse

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THEY NEED SOMEONE LIKE ME, WHO'S GONE THROUGH BANK...MY COMPANY'S GONE THROUGH BANKRUPTCY, TO SEE US THROUGH BANKRUPTCY! - THE DONALD

[straffinrun]

Bankruptcy would actually be a better choice than the path we're on.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THE DONALD APPRECIATES YOUR VOTE!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Would face fuck Tania.

WAIT! What?

[commodious spittoon]

ALMANIAN FOR REASON COMMENTER AMBASSADOR TO TWITTERSPHEREVERSE 2020.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Ahhhh skeletor!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

REPEAL DODD FRANK! TO THE WOODCHIPPER WITH THEM! - Eddie and the Cr...Rubio'rs

[Protagoronus]

artisan small businesses run by the tiniest of owners.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Wait - why is governor Lenscrafters on my screen? And Cancer LAdy? The fuck?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Tony Orlando and derp? Really? Walker....

[Apatheist ?_??]

HAHAHAHAHA Iran and not Saudia Arabia is the source of all the unrest?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Rand Paul has taken +19 damage. Needs help from the Dungeon Master....

[Slammer]

Isn't Carson a High-Level Cleric?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

EXCELLENT! Administers trea.........OHHHHHHHH! HE ROLLED DOUBLE ZERO!

[Hyperion]

I think what's really needed here is a level 50 wizard to cast triple drop out now lightning spell on the Donald.

[Aloysious]

**Divine Intervention**

Full hit points

[commodious spittoon]

Reagan... DRINK

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Wonk, wonk

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

all hail Saint Ronald of the Laffer Curve!!

Nice job,Huckster.

[commodious spittoon]

I don't understand all this talk about negotiations with Rand. What does Rand have that Obama wants so badly? Why isn't he being questioned about it?!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"...points a gun at your head and loads it..."

WHAT? Bro, do you even lift shoot?

-7 round clip for the Huckster

[Apatheist ?_??]

Jesus christ, the cold war was a far scarier situation than Iran maybe getting some nukes. WTF is Huckabee smoking?

[Rhywun]

"Social issues next" - dear god no.

[Apatheist ?_??]

More gay shit than Project Runway you were supposedly watching.

[Rhywun]

Ugh, I'm all gayed out after the last few days here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ethan Hunt for president!

[straffinrun]

"Trust but villify". As terrible as that is, it was probably a prepared remark.

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Rubio is winning

[Hyperion]

Just stop

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

It is what it is.

[Hyperion]

He would make a good running mate for Hitlary.

[straffinrun]

I'm listening to it not watching it. Is there a Nixon Kennedy debate result going on here?

[Rhywun]

I dunno, Rubio is kind of good-looking.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

My other blood sugar test came back normal, although my calcium was just outside normal. Must be the multivitamin I take and the milk I drink. The recruiter calls me in again. His boss, the 1Sgt, is a stickler for the rules, so I had to answer some more questions. No, I've never had stitches. Yes, I had my wisdom teeth taken out 15 years ago. Yes, I had chicken pox 26 years ago. I pointed out that I stubbed my toe the other day and jokingly suggested he put that down too. The recruiter calls his boss and says "also he stubbed his toe the other day". The whole office busts out laughing.

After he emailed my medical forms, I said "I'm taking a shit now. Sorry, does that have to go on the forms too?" More laughter.

For comparison, another recruit got arrested for climbing on the roof of his high school and then got a speeding ticket a few days later. Another recruiter chewed him out, but he shipped.

I'm like the flying Dutchman of that place. Forever cursed to haunt them.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Never had stitches???

[Derpetologist]

I also don't practice Santeria and I ain't got no crystal ball.

Did have malaria though.

[Apatheist ?_??]

That was very diverse anti-immigrant commercial, nice job numbers usa!

[The Late P Brooks]

Rand can do more good in the Senate than the White House, sayeth me. Swallow your pride, Rand.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Headline: RAND SWALLOWS

[Hyperion]

Can't disagree. Including not getting libertarians blamed for everything for the next 2 generations.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Worst. Chat room. EVAR

[Aloysious]

Ed
@edkrayewski
a gathering of presidential candidates is actually called a "murder," like with crows

How about a crap of candidates?

[Slammer]

A Lust of Powerseekers

[Vampire]

Maybe Ron should have ran again while Rand attended debate school for 4 more years. Not saying Ron was all that good at debating, but far better a job than Rand is doing.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I think he's doing fine.

[Vampire]

Fine? He should have told Christie he doesn't know jack shot about the Constitution, and when on to defend himself instead of telling fatty to go hug Obama.

They are ignoring him in the debate so far, and have even showcased those who polled lower.

[Hyperion]

It's Fox, of course they are ignoring Paul, they fucking hate his guts and all libertarians and despise the fact that he's even on the stage.

[Apatheist ?_??]

He did tell him that about the Constitution. And he's almost certainly gotten more than average screen time. It's just that Jeb and Trump are getting way more than anyone else.

Cruz hasn't even spoken in like half an hour.

[Hyperion]

Paul needs to be a little more bold. He's too scared of the SoCons to say much of anything.

[Hyperion]

Yeah, he was great during these debates. Saying stuff like legalize heroin is a great path to the GOP nomination (not that I disagree). Wonder why no one else has thought of that?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Social issues!

I'm out.

[Hyperion]

Rand should destroy them on this, but I think he has to pander to SoCons, so.... wait, SoCons are the audience today. Never mind.

[Aloysious]

Elizabeth N. Brown
@enbrown
Hey Huckabee I bet sex workers & drug dealers would be happy to pay into Social Security if you'd also stop fucking throwing them in jail

ENB just dropped the big elbow a la Randy Savage on the Huck.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

*makes a Randy Savage growling noise*

[straffinrun]

TBF, you could tax prison rape.

[lap83]

Quick-witted, although it's not like any of us are happy to pay into social security.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"Social Issues"

*lights the Botox signal*

[Slammer]

"American Bocialist"

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

you thought there were a lot of comments already...

[SusanM]

Ed
@edkrayewski
a gathering of presidential candidates is actually called a "murder," like with crows

How about "cord" in keeping with the woodchipping theme?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

How about "a shitpile", which they are

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I like it. Tonight's debate featured a cord of poli-ticks.

The earlier debate was a rick's worth.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"Conception" - oh dear God...

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Oh, here we go with the 100 year old racist white slaveholder document? SELF HATE MUCH, MARCO POLO?

[Apatheist ?_??]

So goddamn tedious...

[straffinrun]

These answers make me feel like I'm having a needle shoved in my skull.

[commodious spittoon]

Some say Ronald Reagan is still evolving to this day.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I thought he was devolving? Who knows...

[straffinrun]

+1

[Apatheist ?_??]

You know who else evolved?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Chimpanzees?

[Aloysious]

The Brain?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

TRUMPBOT RUNNing..low...enfergy fade....fadig..........

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

NAme calling?

I know you are, but what am I??!!

[commodious spittoon]

Trump: *babbles incoherently* and BUUUUUUUUUUSH

[straffinrun]

Trump form his opinions on policy based on shit his friends have been through.

[The Late P Brooks]

"What would Abraham Lincoln do?"

[Hyperion]

Start a war and get lots of people killed?

[Vampire]

Start a war and attempt kill all who disagree with him?

[Derpetologist]

Yo listen up here's a story
About a little guy that lives in a Trump world
And all day and all night and everything he sees
Is just Trump like him inside and outside
Trump his house with a Trump little window
And a Trump corvette
And everything is Trump for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to

Trump Trump
Trumpy Tree
Trumpy Trump
Trumpy Tree Trumpy Trump
Trumpy Tree Trumpy Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcPIA_E6AXg

[commodious spittoon]

Social issues? More like FOREIGN ISSUES.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

here we go with the ass sex

[SIV]

They don't have time for the pot.

[Rhywun]

Did I miss the Mexicans?

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Yep, that was first.

[Rhywun]

Damn.

[*GILMORE*]

Imagine a politician who said,

"Social Issues? Ok, here's my position on social issues = Federal Government shouldn't be trying to insert itself into them"

[commodious spittoon]

You mean Paul?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

So you're voting

Almanian for President - 2016
I probably won't make it any worse.

And I definitely won't insert myself into you. Your AFFAIRS. The government....

[*GILMORE*]

You missed the part where I announced my candidacy explicitly for the purpose of torpedoing your political ambitions

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

*fires photon torpedo*

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

...so I've got your vote, then? GREAT! Thanks!

[straffinrun]

Rand just said that.

[*GILMORE*]

I SAID IT BEFORE HE DID

[Hyperion]

I SAID IT FIRST!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

YOU'RE A TOWEL!

[Hyperion]

Your dog is a gay homosexual! And aliens stuck things up your ass!

[Vampire]

And you're a crusty cum towel!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

So you "love" your gay friend's ass? IS THAT WHAT YOU MEAN, KASICH.

OK, actually, pretty good answer.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Hitler?

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

You called?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

It was more of a tentative answer in the form of a question.

/upvoice

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

I had a professor go off on a girl in class for that. It was fucking hilarious. He was like "you sound like a pre-teen girl with no confidence, and anybody with any sort of talent will eat you alive in any sort of litigation matter."

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Did he make her cry?!! Tell me she cried!

/bully

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Nah, she's a champ, and is a pretty good law student (one of the few in my class). She just has the whole valley girl vocal fry going on. She just needs some speech training to make her come off more confident.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

vocal fry at work - the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRST

[NotAnotherSkippy]

Don't you mean ex-prof?

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Haha, nope. He was a little nicer than how I paraphrased it (he turned it into a "teaching moment"), but his message was clear. Plus he's a dean.

[Vampire]

Paul's answer was spot on. There might be hope for him lol.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

So when do we get to hear their positions on pizza, circumcision and copyright?

[The Late P Brooks]

next thing you know, ol' Jed's a millionaire

[Apatheist ?_??]

Cruz has been pretty well shafted so far. Which is fine, because it would almost certainly be at the expense of paul

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOO DIFFERENT! SOOOOOO DIFFERENT! - THE DONALD

[creech]

I've no idea who is winning, but I know who the losers are: the American people.

[Rhywun]

It's like, uh... Project Runway - at this point you can't believe that one of these clowns is actually going to win.

[Slammer]

One of you vill be in, the rest of you vill be OUT

[Hyperion]

The Clintons are winning so far. It's just a matter of when it comes out that they put the Donald up to all this, or when Hillary winds up in prison.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Peter Suderman@petersuderman
Rand doesn't want his marriage registered in Washington. They're...not registered federally.

OK, but the IRS asks about it.

[Apatheist ?_??]

That's pretty much registration.

[Vampire]

Um, what the fuck does marital status on the tax return mean??? I see single or married on there. Hmmm, registered as married for tax purposes seems registered enough to me

[Hyperion]

You actually get a tax break for that also.

[Apatheist ?_??]

That depends. My wife and I get a tax raise. Kids are where the real tax breaks are.

[Hyperion]

You think kids are worth a tax break? I wouldn't have kids again if they gave me a fucking million dollar subsidy for each one of them. Our adult children who don't even live with us, fuck the closest one is 600 miles away, are a big enough of a pain in the fucking ass, I think we deserve tax breaks for them.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I didn't say they are worth it. And I know you are joking but I don't think people should get any deductions or credits for kids. Our for anything else really.

[Hyperion]

You think I'm joking about our adult kids being a pain in our ass? Lol, I know what you meant.

I think that deductibles for kids are a bad idea also, since it actually encourages people who can't even afford kids to have more so they can get refunds subsidies.

I'm for a flat consumption tax plan.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Depends on your income

[Hyperion]

Looks like since my salary is much higher than hers and we don't make 1 million a year, it's working well for us.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Iran is basically on our side right now in Iraq right? Is everyone forgetting that ISIS is Sunni and hates Shiites far more than they hate us?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Most people (US) have little idea what sunni and shia ARE

[Apatheist ?_??]

I would expect Fox News and these chucklefucks on the stage to though.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Yes, fair point

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING! SEND ME - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, EITHER! - THE DONALD

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Dammit, my DVR caught up. Now I can't fast forward through Kasich and FatAss

[Apatheist ?_??]

Kasich is tolerable.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

He drives me up a fucking wall.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I don't mean him as a politician, just on the debate stage he's not a buffoon.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Their story has grown tiresome.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

RONALD REAGAN NAME DROP #2 - point, Mister Cruz. Everyone else, DRINK

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

Navy at the smallest size since 1917... Um, how many nuclear-armed subs did we have then?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

....two?

[Vampire]

Privateers through the market would be far more efficient and effective. Socialism doesn't work for the military either. That is why it is more expensive and less effective.

Fatty is talking about the navy which he has no clue about. 350 ships? What kind? Why not let the market compete for defense services?

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Navy at the smallest size since 1917... Um, how many nuclear-armed subs did we have then?"

This is the dumbest hawk talking point I've ever heard. It was dumb in 2012 when Romney tried it and it's dumb now.

Our navy so outclasses everyone else on the planet that it's ludicrous to talk about this. I read a statistic the other day - the largest air force in the world is the United States Air force. The second largest air force is the United States Navy.

But we don't have enough BOATZ so we should all be terrified.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

NEEDZ MOAR MILITARY - shorter Carson

[Hyperion]

It takes a rocket surgeon to come up with that one.

[Aloysious]

Did Little Lyndsey just wet his pants?

[commodious spittoon]

How would you have used our prodigious air force and navy against Assad? "Well, I don't know if our prodigious forces are nearly prodigious enough."

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"The peril is...too perilous, Sir Launcelot!"

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Don't ask, don't tell, don't quote Rush Limbaugh (kill people, break things) - derp Huckster

[straffinrun]

You learn karate so you don't have to fight, Danielsan.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

SWEEP THE LEG!

[straffinrun]

When you find mush you push. Sound like a pervert, Walker.

[commodious spittoon]

Kids say the darnedest things.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Is that a correlary of more cushion for the pushin?

[SusanM]

"At least terrified Lindsey Graham was very clear and honest about wanting to invade everybody. "

[snicker]

[SusanM]

"At least terrified Lindsey Graham was very clear and honest about wanting to invade everybody. "

[snicker]

[Hyperion]

As long as he will be watching it safely at home in his wonder woman jammies. The ones with footsies.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Was it a Blackfoot #2 pencil, Rand? I bet it was a Blackfoot #2

[commodious spittoon]

Cutting foreign aid... why didn't we think of that?!

[Derpetologist]

That will shave a whole $50 billion off the $3700 billion we're currently spending!

[Slammer]

Increase the Shit on a Shingle budget

/fat ass

[Hyperion]

Has anyone won yet?

[Slammer]

The alcohol industry

[straffinrun]

I'm huffing thinner. I don't understand this game.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

+1 butyl nitrate

[commodious spittoon]

WHO WOULD CHALLENGE US EVEN IN OUR DIRE STATE NOW, CHRIS?!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

The Duchy of Fenwick?

[SusanM]

+1 Q-bomb

[commodious spittoon]

Christ. The notion that, in order to deal with pissant little regional antagonists with an even biggerer armed forces... or our historical antagonists who are happy pissing on our sneakers for fun... what a fucking joke.

[Aloysious]

Lucy Steigerwald
@LucyStag
Kind of with him here.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Don't talk about [REDACTED]

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

You're the CANADIAN son of a pastor, Eddie and the Cruzers!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I just realized Cruz's head is kind of like Terrance and Phillip's - SO HE IS CANADIAN!

[Rhywun]

Let us pray.

[straffinrun]

God willing.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Let us prey....on the taxpayers...

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"Mrs Clinton, let's talk about God..."

*Herself blackens, turns into Hellspawn, attacks Megyn Kelly*

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

I think it comes out like this:

1) Trump
2) Cruz
3) Rubio
4) Paul
5) Huckabee
6) Walker
7) Bush
8) Kasich
9) Christie
10) Carson

[Apatheist ?_??]

What, Cruz didn't talk at all. but probably pretty close. Walker and Jeb were the losers, and Trump floundered about. I think he did terrible but there are a lot of idiots in the stupid party.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Trump did what Trump does. He didn't disappoint his base. Cruz hardly talked, but when he did, it was on point. I think Christie is probably low. I felt like Kasich was about to cry half the time. Walker looked a bit robotic.

[Apatheist ?_??]

He definitely looked over polished or something. He may end up being a Perry '12 style flop.

[Hyperion]

According to the Drudge poll, Trump won and Rand is 2nd. I know, DrudgeBots!!!!

Anyway, I'm looking for other polls to check, but haven't found any yet.

How soon before Donald sinks when people find out that he's a fucking plant?

[straffinrun]

Carson going with the brainmatter matters for his big finish.

[Hyperion]

Yeah, his big finish in retirement in a big ass fucking house on the Chesapeake shore somewhere.

It shouldn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that choice. The guy has plenty of money, why complicate his life in a thankless job where all of his neurosurgeon skills will not allow him to navigate the vast toxic wasteland that is politics in Washington DC?

This is why I think I am really hoping that Rand just stays in the Senate. One guy cannot make that much difference. Maybe Carson would make a good addition to congress.

[Vampire]

Your head is filled with rocks, get off the floor and quit trying to smell my socks.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

My life is shattered. Why did I watch this?

[Rhywun]

To get drunk?

[Slammer]

Work and work for love and sex
Ain't you hungry for success, success, success, success
Does it matter?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Sha-doobie

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

JINX!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

shadoobie

[Mrs. Lemuel Struthers]

Good closing by Paul. He started out terribly but improved as the night went on. He's still a very long shot.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

How about "Veterans - let's create FEWER OF THEM"

[Apatheist ?_??]

Why do you hate America?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

because FUCK YEAH!!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

...that's why

[Aloysious]

My thoughts exactly.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Aren't they already doing that?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

what you did there....

[BiMonSciFiCon]

unfotunately

[commodious spittoon]

DOES THE BELL MEAN NOTHING, YOU ANARCHISTS

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Results of today's debate:

1) Fox
2) CBS/ABC/NBC
3) CNN
4) Hillary Clinton
.
.
.

2,349,873,481,269,199,927,746,120) US citizens

[Vampire]

These folks think they have gait, meanwhile they are blowing this debate. There's a few more minutes to wait, but after this folks will most likely support Hillary and another watergate.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Megan: So, as the only black guy out here, what are you gonna do about fixing race relations?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

I BEAT UP ON TEACHERZ!!! - FATSO

[commodious spittoon]

Oh, really? How many terrorists did you put away, governor?

[Apatheist ?_??]

Woah, Ferguson shout out.

[Derpetologist]

It would be nice, for once, to hear a candidate say something like "I don't go to church" or "I'm running for President, not Pope."

[commodious spittoon]

Showshul signulls

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Kennedy ran for both.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

But he'll never be the head of a major religious organization.

[Chipper Chipping Rodrigue]

ISWYDT

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Wow - and still did her show in Fox Bidness? Impressive...

[Rhywun]

Hahahahahaha - good one.

[Irish ?s ESB]

An open atheist literally couldn't get elected in this country. 43% of voters outright say they would never vote for an atheist, which means you'd basically have to win 90% of everyone else.

People would rather vote for a Muslim than an atheist according to Pew Polling, which I think is actually pretty funny given how frequently I'm being told I have to be nice about Islam because of the dread scourge of Islamophobia. Fuck you guys, people have more prejudice against my beliefs than against the Muslims!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"I'm gonna put a pinball machine in the whitehouse, and a bowling alley, and a dart board..." - Cruz

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

NEEDZ MOAR CUBANS

[BiMonSciFiCon]

That's what every GM says.

[lap83]

So did Obamacare come up at all?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

BRAIN JOKE FROM THE NEUROSURGEON! +1 for Carson

[Rhywun]

+1 sense of humor

[commodious spittoon]

Did Carson just admit to lobotomizing patients?

[Hyperion]

Where do you think all the liberals in Baltimore came from?

[straffinrun]

Did they even talk about the massive bubbles in the stock market, bond market, ZPIR, the FED? What was the point of this?

[commodious spittoon]

Shhh, they're busy showboating.

[Apatheist ?_??]

They were busy talking about Mexican-Iranian immigrant abortions.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

HARLEYS SUCK

[Rhywun]

"BOOOOO" /audience

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

Nice ROyal We, Richie Cunningham Walker

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

I wish that Trump would close with "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck, fuck you all. Fuck! Thank you."

[Derpetologist]

OT: I believe you said something in another thread about the origin of morality. You said you can understand from a utilitarian perspective the need for people to cooperate, but that doesn't answer the question of what happens if you can get away with being evil.

Plato considered the question by telling a story about a ring that could make a man invisible, thus allowing him to commit any crime without being caught. He said that the only reason people remain good is because the fear punishment.

Socrates, on the other hand, said that one who uses the ring for evil is enslaved to his desires, while one who resists abusing his power is truly happy and virtuous.

The superheroes in comic books could easily have whatever they like through crime. They are heroes because they use their powers for noble goals. Virtue is its own reward.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

I think I'm sitting in between the two views. From my (Christian) point of view, I believe that God imparts an instinctual morality in humans. It's not overriding and it's not immutable, but it's there. From that view, I think that atheists and agnostics can do "good" because they are imparted with knowledge of good and evil.

However, when viewing the world in (what I believe to be) the counterfactual, a world without God is a world without good, without virtue. What is good and evil without a measuring stick?

I believe that morality collapses down into utilitarianism with moral relativism, and I think that much of modern politics and modern life fleshes that out. When people deprogram themselves from their innate moral compass, you get strict utilitarians like Tony.

[Derpetologist]

My view is that morality, like language, money, units of measurement, and the like, are human inventions. They exist because they serve a purpose, which is to make it easier for people to cooperate and survive. People are the measuring stick.

Sometimes the measuring stick people create is screwed up, at least in my subjective view. In the past, you had Aztecs making war for the sole purpose of capturing future human sacrifices. Today, you have Muslims killing people over cartoons.

Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of the container its in. Usually, anyway.

I can't prove that it's wrong for Muslims to kill people over cartoons the same way I can prove that 2 + 2 = 4. The best I can do is appeal to the large number of people who also think killing people over cartoons is wrong. Consensus is not proof, but I think it is true more often than it is wrong.

[Derpetologist]

*it's in

I also add that I have reasons to doubt the truth of Islam and so have reasons to doubt its moral teachings.

[Derpetologist]

I missed most of the debate. Did Kasich utter his pet phrase "at the end of the day"?

[commodious spittoon]

Fuck. Nearly put away 1.5L of wine and I'm not nearly drunk enough for this.

[Vampire]

I spit at ur spittoon!!! May it dribble down the side as you stand there like a bitch with your eyes opened wide.

[Hyperion]

Drank a bottle of sparkling with wife, was raped by wife, recovered from trauma, 7 beers after. Still not drunk enough. And I didn't even watch it!

[Hyperion]

Is there really any alcohol in wine? I've still to confirm that. I've heard that the theory is that there is. But I'm still skeptical.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

"It's over" - said that guy in "The Road Warrior"

[Vampire]

Suckass debate. Why did I bother staying up late? Maybe it was because of the commenters here at reason that I love, and to watch flounder the slaver politicians I hate.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Katherine Mangu-Ward@kmanguward
I'm weirded out by how much all these dudes are talking about their dads. Oedipus 2016?

Hmmm... Wouldn't that be talking about Mom?

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

But this is the Gay Decade, so - she's right....

/New Oedipus

[Rhywun]

OK, this could be totally out of left field, but Rubio sets my gaydar off.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Graham-Rubio sex tape coming right up!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That's just wishful thinking... 'cause what a dreamboat?

[Rhywun]

*busted*

[Vampire]

Here comes Frank luntz. Another douchebag with a selected audience trying to push who they want.

[straffinrun]

Rubio has an Ann Frank dillema. He leaves the closet, he's dead.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

What's your favorite Simpson's episode?

Christie- the one where homer weighs 300 pounds and saves the day

Rand- Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington

Cruz- the one where Sideshow Bob rigs the election

Lindsey- the one where the gay guy saves the day

Trump- the one I'm in (I assume he's in one from the last 15 years, haven't watced to confirm)

Walker- Every one buy "Last Exit To Springfield"

[In League with the Dark Ones]

Trumptastic Voyage

[Hyperion]

The chili cook off.

[Apatheist ?_??]

My god, nobody has put Frank Luntz down yet? Time to tune out.

[Vampire]

Scroll up sheisser pants.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Our time stamps are the same!

[Not a Libertarian]

What exactly was the utility of you libertarians actually watching this debate anyway?

Isnt that a bit like a groups of Unitarians taking issue with the way a Mass is observed?

[Slammer]

Oh god DWS is on Fox

[Slammer]

Oh god DWS is on Fox later

[BiMonSciFiCon]

don't get myzled by her

[Not a Libertarian]

Oh who is on this season? Any football players we'd recognize?

[Slammer]

*narrows gaze in honor of Swiss*

[commodious spittoon]

Look, I understand he was having an organ removed for donation to someone else, but now it just seems like the guy is laying down on the job.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

What did I miss?

And don't you people ever sleep?

[Vampire]

^ um... Helloooooooooo

I should bite you, but you have to invite me in.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

It's only 8 PM...

[In League with the Dark Ones]

It's only 8 PM...

[Vampire]

Your time zone sucks!!

[Hyperion]

Fucking Ethiopians!

[commodious spittoon]

Barely 9 where I am, hombre, and I've a third of a lovely magnum of wine telling me I have another two hours of insober jubilation to look forward to and then a miserable day of work six hours later.

[Hyperion]

I have to drive to the office tomorrow, it's not a work from home day, bleh. Good news, is that I'm the only one who will be there. All of my comrades in slavery are out for one reason or the other. Well, this is my last beer so I won't be hungover, so it's all good.

[Hyperion]

Well, fuck, you're a left coaster, yes?

[*GILMORE*]

Ed posts same joke 3 times hoping people will eventually get it, Robby takes politically-controversial posture of repeatedly admiring Strong Females like Carly Fiorina and Megyn Kelly, Will Wilkinson made some reference to moral personhood or something that went over the heads of anyone lacking a PhD (but including Nick, most likely), Rand Paul got into poorly-considered Sumo-Wrestling match with Chris Christie and Almanian presented himself as the best possible candidate for president in 2016.

Trump brought his A-level Trump Game, from what I heard. I don't have a tee-vee* (or at least I don't watch it)

[Hyperion]

Almanian? Ahh, ohh, fuck no man! He's only good for an obscure czarship at best! Not even Supreme Overlord material!

[commodious spittoon]

Rosie swings back at Trump's misogyny, after Donald denigrated her on the GOP debate floor:

Rosie ?@Rosie
try explaining that 2 ur kids

SCORCHER.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Heh, Trump lives in that hog's head rent-free. You don't troll a troll, Rosie.

[commodious spittoon]

Comments from the HuffPo liveblogstreamdribble

Mark Greiner
Not one of them could carry Obama's jockstrap on their best day. Whether you like him or not, he was handed a disaster on multiple levels by Bush 43. All he did was save the nation from a depression, ended two very unpopular wars, cut deficit spending more than any POTUS in history, given access to healthcare to ten's of millions and above all when he leaves office the country will be in much better condition than when he started

Cindy Moser
BREAKING NEWS: The winner of the GOP debates is HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON!!!!!!

Stu Pedasso ? Harvard Law School
Ten White War Lords, Ready To Send Our Children To War And Put Our Country Further In Debt.!

[Slammer]

Mark Greiner is Buttplug?

[commodious spittoon]

Apparently they're super concerned about Planned Parenthood, for some reason. I can't imagine why.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Unremarkable Dummies.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Apparently Ben Carson and Marco Rubio are white! Things you learn at Harvard Law

[Hyperion]

They're RethugliKKKans, of course they're white!

One, an Uncle Tom, the other, Uncle Juan!

[Not a Libertarian]

Wouldn't some conservative livestream comment on a GOP debate be something along the lines of "these guys stink"

Aligning with a progressive comment stream that "these guys stink and they're idiots"

The comments stream of a Democratic debate on a conservative livestream would be "these guys stink, and she's a crook"

The progressive stream will be "Isn't she wonderful, and aren't they all so smart!"

Conservatives don't much like their politicians and progressives love their politicians. It is one of the strengths of the Democratic Party.

[*GILMORE*]

"Conservatives don't much like their politicians and progressives love their politicians"

Isn't this the PJ O'Rourke column from the other day in a nutshell?

[*GILMORE*]

"All he did was save the nation from a depression"

?

Five years in, Recession-recovery still underwhelms compared with previous ones

"ended two very unpopular wars"

May 2015 = US Bombing Ramadi, Over-Run by ISIS

"cut deficit spending more than any POTUS in history",

Lol. When you've SPENT more than any POTUS in history, then 'cutting' it is like saying, "Alcoholic Reduces Consumption by Staggering 50% = Now only drunk during Daylight"

Current deficit is running a cool half-trillion rather than a full T. BRAVO.

"given access to healthcare to ten's of millions"

Given? Miracle of miracles. Why, their money was refused by doctors all across the land before the lightbringer arrived. Never mind that "ten's" number is actually in the single-digits once you subtract all the people that had insurance that lost it due to the ACA.

In the contest between dishonesty and ignorance, i'm going to have to chalk this up to utter lack of awareness, deep inside a proggy echochamber. His idol-worship is all too sincere.

[Vampire]

Spittoon..... Your cheap ass whine probably tastes like quinine, or some seawater brine that to purchase you waited for hours in line.

You should have saved your money and bought some moonshine, which could have made you look better in the mirror, instead of staring at your gut rolled over that pair of underwear labeled Calvin Klein.

[commodious spittoon]

Calm down, AC.

But seriously, I'll be regretting it in the morning. Sour guts and sour brains, and loads of homework to submit tomorrow. Already dreading it.

[Vampire]

AC??

For I'm Vampire, and that is the only me

[Hyperion]

Who's AC?

[Hyperion]

Don't worry, CS, we're gonna teach you to drink real man alcohol soon. You know, BEER! We'll get you off that kiddie stuff, it's going to be ok.

[commodious spittoon]

Christ, man, if I could afford it I'd be drinking the peatiest whiskey you could stand. Ardbeg at least, although I had a line of decent stuff for $25 a bottle last year. Can't swing it now. But man, I love a good peaty drink. As for beers, well, I'm trying to cut down the carbs. But I like a pint or several. I trick myself that a bottle of chardonnay isn't as bad as a six-pack.

[Hyperion]

I hear you about the carbs, bro. I need to do so also. But it's hard, I loves the beer.

I like some alcohol, vodka, I mean good vodka, and good gin. That's about it.

And I don't drink cheap beer, unless I want to. Pints? Are you British?

[Hyperion]

Fuck, when I saw alcohol, I mean liquor you know. Cultural thing.

[commodious spittoon]

Well, I do watch a lot of BBC comedies. A lot. I started up Peep Show last night. Kinda fun, in an American The Office kind of way, as in, really embarrassing for everyone involved. But yeah, pints. I like a pint. It's not sophisticated, it's not stately, it's just forceful. It's stated.

[Vampire]

Homework? I hate homework. Maybe if I bit your teacher, your homework would end? Or maybe I could use my mind power to like make teachers hook you up or something, in which you would probably be embroiled in one of those teachers screwed the student things, unless you shit up, and only sue those teachers when u need to pay off ur LoANz!!

[Crusty Juggler]

Did we win?

[Hyperion]

Are you sitting down?

[commodious spittoon]

If by "we" you mean "everyone except libertarians but including Hillary's closest friends," then yes. "We" won.

[Vampire]

Keep juggling that crust.....it's all going to be ok.

[Tony]

I'm intoxicated with Trump and vodka.

Pundits are obviously paid off by Rubio somehow. To me he seems like he needs a propellor hat to complete the image.

Rand Paul misjudged his ability to make aggression look like strength, and didn't get the memo everyone else did not to attack Trump, who proceeded to literally unhinge his jaw and eat Rand Paul whole.

Fuckleberry.

Kasich, token sane candidate.

Christie, still fat.

Think I'll loop Bush's responses to help me sleep.

[Crusty Juggler]

Fuckleberry for sure.

[commodious spittoon]

Tony, I'd buy you a drink. A well drink, because, but a drink. And we'd toast. I'd insist.

[Hyperion]

No, that would be 'intoxicated with Vodka and extreme ignorance'. Now go back to sleep before you make everyone on the internet a little more dumb!

[Tony]

You're having a hard time tonight.

[commodious spittoon]

What about Carson? I mean, he's a black conservative, so *urk* off the reservation, but he's articulate. Except for all that *ugh* religious talk. I mean, how dare they? You white supremacist liberals have done so much good by black Americans, and they still insist on holding onto their outmoded beliefs. Gag. Me. With a spoon.

[Hyperion]

It's not sentient, man.

[commodious spittoon]

I'm allowed to have a good time, too.

[Hyperion]

I meant the one called 'Tony' it's not sentient, and it has nothing to do with good times. It isn't sentient, ever.

[Tony]

You flatter me. I've always thought I was a robot merely approximating human behavior. It would explain my unchanging youthful good looks and ability to perform rudimentary conversation with libertarians.

[commodious spittoon]

Rudimentary might approach it, yes, if you're Tarzan to our Jane.

[Tony]

Carson was impressive. He almost sounded as intelligent as I'd expect a renowned surgeon to sound. He is one among countless examples of why I believe people in the technical arts need to take a little lit. and philosophy in school too. Get properly indoctrinated into secular liberalism, or reality as it's sometimes called.

[commodious spittoon]

He was terrible. Absolutely awful. He stumbled, interjected a few good lines, but he had no decent overriding message. He almost, almost seemed to be the "I'm being excluded by the powers that be!" candidate, but he said it whilst among the top ten. I'm certain he's a brilliant man, but he is not a brilliant extemporaneous speaker.

Also, no, you can keep your cutco version of reality to yourselves, you mooks.

[Tony]

I had very low expectations for Carson. I thought he came across as pleasant. It's not like I'm gonna endorse any of these insane fascists.

[Hyperion]

Look, dude, Tony ain't gonna endorse any of these insane fascists. The insane fascists he's gonna endorse gotta have a big ol D by their name. That makes ALL the difference.

Morons gotta moron.

[Derpetologist]

I like the video where Carson burned notes of debate advice people had given him.

[Derpetologist]

"He is one among countless examples of why I believe people in the technical arts need to take a little lit. and philosophy in school too."

Scientists, engineers, and doctors are required to study those things, you nitwit.

By the way, how were your grades in multivariable calculus and thermodynamics?

How much of an idiot do you have to be to think you're literally smarter than a brain surgeon because you read Ulysses?

[Tony]

I don't. Intelligence is not a linear thing and can be compartmentalized. Exhibit A: world-renowned brain doctor who believes in Santa Claus for grownups. I merely humbly suggest that a good background in the history of thought prepares one for any world in which critical thinking about empirical holistic reality is a relevant endeavor. That's the whole goddamn point I am making. I've known brilliant engineers and computer geeks who believe that Adam and Eve were real people. More than a few engineers and presidential candidates could use a good dose of knowing what they don't know, the central lesson of a well-rounded education. For the record I know exactly what I do and don't know about multivariable calculus and thermodynamics. I don't prance around pretending to be an expert in those things, as you guys do with economics and how all humans should live.

[commodious spittoon]

Ahh, yes, writing off one's transcendent belief in the ephemeral is not an expression of linear thinking but hey, we certainly compartmentalized that asshole. Thank God, too, because he nearly came within a stone's throw of the presidency. assuming we're throwing stones from olympus mons.

[Derpetologist]

" I don't prance around pretending to be an expert in those things, as you guys do with economics and how all humans should live."

Bullshit! Pretending to know all about how people should live is exactly what you do.

Most of the posters here are familiar with liberal ideas like Keynesian economics. How familiar are you with Austrian economics or the ideas of Bastiat or Hayek?
Scratch that, you don't even understand logical fallacies because you use them constantly.

You're not a creationist? Good job. That does not qualify you as a Renaissance Man. Your education was not that well-rounded if your last math or science class was in high school.

[Tony]

Only because I APed out. The point is I know what I don't know, though I am actually amateurishly good at science, and believe that scientists (not engineers) do learn real critical thinking, as it is the essence of their field. I'm more familiar with libertarian philosophers than anyone needs to be, and you can't accuse me of not spending time in that particular niche.

And I do not pretend to know exactly how people should live, only what empirical data suggests about it--something schools of thought like Austrian economics openly eschew in favor of platitudes and dogma.

[Derpetologist]

Engineers don't learn critical thinking? Shithead, how the fuck do you think they got that computer of yours to work?

Platitudes and dogma are your department: fair share, unfettered capitalism, trickle down economics, Sweden is a paradise, rich get richer, poor get poorer, etc. You've been repeating these braindead cliches for so long you actually think they're true.

Fact: Sweden has a lower per capita income than the poorest state in the US. So does Britain. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-East.html

[Derpetologist]

My mistake- the article I linked above says the UK is only poorer than 49 of the states.

[Derpetologist]

Other mistake: should have written per capita GDP, not income.

[Derpetologist]

And here's some more empirical data for you to ponder:

There is a country right now, where your favored policies of high taxes, high spending, and high regulation were implemented for decades. That country is Greece. You might have noticed they're not doing so well.

There is a city in the US right now, where your favored policies of high taxes, high spending, and high regulation were implemented for decades. That city is Detroit. You might have noticed it's been struggling a bit lately.

[Hyperion]

Oh, for da lub of da bejeebus, the idiot has awoken. Look not upon it brethren, lest the stoopid infect your soul.

[Hyperion]

Oh, for da lub of da bejeebus, the idiot has awoken. Look not upon it brethren, lest the stoopid infect your soul.

[Hyperion]

Yeah, there are some things you have to say twice!

[Hyperion]

There's almost 1000 comments in this thread.

[*GILMORE*]

Everytime a H&R post reaches 1000 comments, the Koch brothers let an endangered species live another year.

[Tony]

I enjoyed the robust and intelligent discussion they had about climate change.

[commodious spittoon]

Perhaps you'd prefer taking it up with Anthony Watts.

[Tony]

Right after I discuss evolution with Rick Santorum.

[commodious spittoon]

Then you've quite a schedule.

[Derpetologist]

I'm sure Tony knows far more about science than anyone here, he said very sarcastically.

[Cytotoxic]

Santorum probably knows more about evolution than you do about science. I don't even like Watts.

[Charles Easterly]

Evidently, Tundrarian, you don't need to be instantly reassured of your self-worth.

[Crusty Juggler]

+1 affirm me.

[Slammer]

"Like"

[John Titor]

That's it Ed, get in the ring!

El Titoro's comin' for you!

[Crusty Juggler]

Titor has to work on his theme music.

[John Titor]

You know every conservative Christian candidate wants to enter the debates like this.

[Warty]

I keep reading your handle as Tulpa, well-chilled. It's triggering.

[Zaytsev]

Ailes also took a jab at Stewart's nascent career as a film director that began in 2014 with Rosewater, a drama about a journalist captured in Iran. The movie made just $3.1 million worldwide.

"Knowing him, he'll direct movies with sort of a left-wing point of view, and America's a terrible country," said Ailes. "Somebody needs to tell him that 90 percent of what Hollywood puts out already does that. He's going to have to find another niche."