Cincinnati Cop Pleads Not Guilty in Shooting, Zimbabwe Doesn't Care About Dead Lions, Stabbings at Jerusalem's Gay Pride: P.M. Links

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  • Not smiling anymore.
    WKRC

    Former University of Cincinnati Police Officer Ray Tensing has pleaded not guilty of murder for shooting Samuel DuBose in a head during a traffic stop earlier this month.

  • Actual residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.
  • An ultra-orthodox Jewish man was arrested after allegedly stabbing six people at Jerusalem's gay pride march. He had just gotten out of prison three weeks ago after serving time for stabbing three people at Jerusalem's gay pride march in 2005.
  • People who don't understand libertarian thinking seem to think that Sen. Rand Paul's opposition to Planned Parenthood is unlibertarian. The reality is a lot more complex.
  • Bernie Sanders took his "Open borders threatens American jobs" argument to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.
  • A bunch of small Confederate flags were found scattered around outside the church in Atlanta where Martin Luther King Jr. once preached.
  • Australian officials hope the discovery of some debris on an island in the Indian Ocean will help explain the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

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  1. …have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.

    They need to get their priorities sorted out then.

    1. Hello.

      “Actual residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.”

      This is a FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

      Also.

      Leave the profanities to us, ‘kay?

      1. Hey, they have as much right to use colorful language as the rest of us.

        Now you fucking Canukistanis on the other hand don’t have much protection on that front.

        1. Ha, is that the fucken best you got?

          1. yes.

            I don’t practice swearing in the off-season.

          1. I’m sorry.

            And what’s wrong with that video?

            Eh?

            1. It was linked from H&R, I have a policy against watching videos linked by H&R users.

              1. Christ, it’s not like I provided that link.

        2. I think using ALL CAPS in an internet response is actually considered a Kanadian Hate Crime.

          Check your privilege!

          1. SUCK MY DICK, BOBARIAN.

            !!!!

            1. No use in trying to make up to me now, hater.

        3. Shut yer fucking face, uncle fucker!

      2. According to at least one facebook post, even if the locals were paid by the dentist they were be exploited.

        I forget who made the comment yesterday exaggerating the role of the white man in the evils of the world but it turns out you really can’t parody these people.

        1. He corrupted their souls by giving them money.

        2. Fuck him for bringing much needed business to their struggling village! YEAH!

      3. Cecil the lion, known for his black mane, was about 13 years old and a famous attraction for wildlife tourists in Zimbabwe until, earlier this month, he was tempted outside a national park using bait and shot with a bow and arrow. He is believed to have taken 40 hours to die.

        That’s the awful part. Why tempt the lion out of the park – he was there to be protected. It’s theft.

        1. Yeah. Poaching isn’t cool.

          1. 160-180? Fahrenheit.

        2. I think this may put a ding in their tourism.

          1. One might say that the lion’s share may go somewhere else.

    2. That’s OK. The wise, white Progressives will educate them on what’s really important.

      1. “Are you saying that all this noise is about a dead lion? Lions are killed all the time in this country,” said Tryphina Kaseke, a used-clothes hawker on the streets of Harare. “What is so special about this one?”

        IT HAD A NAME!!!!

        1. Something tells me Zimbabweans might not be big fans of things named “Cecil.”

          1. Is it a coincidence or was the lion named after him?

            1. I wish I knew.

          2. RHODES!

            DRINK!

            Oh, sorry, it sounds the same.

        2. This is why you don’t name livestock that you intend to eat someday.

          1. The hell you say. Farm kids name cows and pigs, then eat them, all the time. They take a certain perverse pride in it.

            1. I guess my wife wasn’t that perverse in those formative years.

              1. *shrug* Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve found myself hanging out with weirdos.

            2. We named one of our cows Spot. Two years later we had “Spot” burgers routinely.

            3. My aunt and uncle had 2 rabbits. They named them Lunch and Dinner.

              1. I was gifted two rabbits. I named them Fricasse(sic?) and Stewie. I did eat Fricasse but Stewie was released into the wild. I’m a hunter and only kill for food, but when those wittle rabbit eyes look at you…I found out I’m a big baby. Fricasse did taste good though…not as gamey as a wild one.

            4. Yeah. My brother-in-law raised four turkeys that he named Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spare.

          2. Dad named the calf that we raised “Dinner”.

            … Hobbit

            1. In America, Dinner come to *you*!

              What a great country!

          3. Why? Harriet was very delicious.

        3. I heard that in Sterling Archer’s voice for some reason.

    3. #Lionlivesmattermorethanabjectpoverty

      1. “Why are the Americans more concerned than us?” said Joseph Mabuwa, a 33-year-old father-of-two cleaning his car in the center of the capital. “We never hear them speak out when villagers are killed by lions and elephants in Hwange.”

        1. It’s racist to bring up lion-on-African crime in a discussion of white-on-lion crime.

          1. You fuckin Zimbabwegians need to start towing the lion!

            /derp

        2. Well, Joseph.

          There weren’t any fake campus rape stories to be outraged about this week.

          We were like almost totally out of stuff to be outraged about.

          1. I think you’re on to something.

            We need to stage a lottery. Every week, one student (male, but need I even specify?) is selected to weather a bogus charge of sexual assault with juuuuuust enough plausibility (at least at first) to keep team outrage guessing. And while the internet is frantically pounding the table about this monster, the rest of us can safely get on with our lives. Hey, it’s harsh, but it gives better odds for most men.

            1. We’re practically at this point already. Who is still getting worked up about pizza for gay weddings?

              Might as formalize it and make a national lottery. Every Sunday somebody gets picked as the worst person ever, they get to take a month long vacation in the secret service program, then after the month is over. Then after the month is over, they go back to work, with only the occasional reminder of how horrible they are.

              Of course, if we could narrow it down to one guy who only gets massive hate for 10 minutes or so a day, that would be much more efficient.

              1. “Those who walk away from Omelas” mechanism right there

        3. Black American Lives Matter.

          Them others, not so much.

          1. PS–I don’t care if it was legal or not, the guy’s still a big pussy and a jerkwad. If he wants to be a real man he should hunt his lions with a spear, like the Masai.

            1. He killed it with a bow and arrow.

              The “Pussy” way would presumably be from a few hundred yards away on top of a car

              1. So, not a spear, then. Pussy.

                1. Also, thats a derogatory thing to call a lion

                2. Spartacus, I’ve been around apex predators in the wild (bears, mostly). Nothing in the big leagues of a full-grown lion.

                  Trust me: lion hunting with a bow and arrow is nothing that any pussy would ever do.

                  1. The average kill-distance with bowhunting is around 15-20yrds

                    against an animal that can close that gap in about two seconds

                  2. Except this guy apparently wasn’t close enough to take a good shot, since he only wounded the lion such that it suffered for 40 hours while they tracked it and then killed it with a rifle. And it was a lion that apparently liked being around people. anyway. So fuck this cunt, he’s an asshole and a pussy.

                3. A very, very short spear.. propelled by a string..

            2. In what other ways should people disregard newer technology in order to be “real men”?

              Should road crews just stomp on top of asphalt to level it?
              Should fishermen only spear-fish? Or, Noodlin’?
              Should all farmers hand-pick their crops?
              Should all forms of self-defense be hand-to-hand combat?
              Should flight be limited to wings & wax? Hot air baloons?

  2. He had just gotten out of prison three weeks ago after serving time for stabbing three people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march in 2005.

    You go with what you know, I guess.

    1. Gay Pride parades are intentionally provocative–just like the Draw Muhammad contests and displaying the Confederate flag. Therefore, they must be banned!

      1. So…you’re this way on purpose, huh?

      2. Photo of a past Jerusalem Pride

        Trigger warning: people dressed fairly conservatively walking with rainbow flags may provoke you to boredom.

        1. Not enough sheer thong. Pass.

        2. I stumbled into the middle of a Hillcrest pride event back in the 90’s. I think the Orthodox Jews would have to gouge their own eyes out if that happened to them.

          1. You have to watch the parade thru a sheet?

            1. So all those counterprotesters I saw at the Pride Parade were Orthodox Jews?

          2. The first time I went through Hillcrest I passed by Gay Mart. It was funny then, and it’s still funny now.

            1. A straight friend of mine keeps wanting me to visit him in SD so he has an excuse to go to the Hillcrest Brewing Company.

              1. Why do you need a friend to drink? I love drinking alone in a dark room with a single bullet in my revolver, listening to the soft ticking of the cylinder as it spins and anticipating the crisp snap of the hammer falling on an empty chamber.

                1. you know if you got out your cleaning kit and cleared the squib load from the barrel, you would be able to put cartridges in the chambers again.

                  1. you know if you got out your cleaning kit and cleared the squib load from the barrel, you would be able to put cartridges in the chambers again.

                    What about “rounds” can I use that Mr Pedant?!?

                    Also how do I do an interobang again Jesse?

                    1. ampersandhashtag8253semicolon

                      ?

                      or google interrobang and copy and paste it to the document ?

                2. Stop trying to romance me with your lovely poetry, Florida Man, I’m immune to your Floridian charms.

                  *fans self*

    2. Doubling down on stupid.

  3. “Are you saying that all this noise is about a dead lion? Lions are killed all the time in this country,” said Tryphina Kaseke, a used-clothes hawker on the streets of Harare. “What is so special about this one?”

    His name is Robert PaulsonCecil…

    1. he was killed by a rich white man instead of a poor black one. Seems to be the standard for the US media to notice anything these days.

      1. Sort of true. There was also that 19-year old female people got outraged over.

        1. But with her, it’s just the usual assholes. There are more shrieking eels this time around.

        2. The rich (white and blonde) Belgian hottie, right?

          1. I was actually referring to the cheerleader from Texas

              1. Yeah. Her.

            1. Nice pictures, really douchey comments.

              1. “sad that people like to hunt”
                but it’s cool when lions do it? speciesist

                1. again, it’s the lionesses‘ job to hunt. The lion just sits around like an ass all day until he gets thrown out by a younger male.

                  1. It’s the Animal Kingdom equivalent of “Make me a sandwich.”

                  2. Once he’s got a pride. Bachelor lions hunt when they can’t run smaller animals off fresh kills.

                  3. The male lions do quite a bit of hunting. They just do it at night while the camera crews are sleeping.

                  4. Maybe the dentist can say he was overthrowing the lion-patriarchy.

        3. I missed that. What was it?

    2. I thought this lion was “beloved” and that’s why it was an outrage. If it had been some random lion, no outrage, but a beloved lion would understandably create outrage, because you know, he was beloved. Apparently the poor beast was not beloved by locals.

      1. A beloved lion who was apparently friendly with people and would neever eaf dem.

        1. neever eaf dem

          I see you started drinking early today.

          1. I think you need to learn how the crocodiles speak in “Pearls Before Swine”.

  4. Actual residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.

    The outrage over this is the very definition of first world problem, isn’t it? Yeah,the guy’s an asshole, but to say the reaction has been over the top would be understating things.

    1. If Zimbabwe had only followed Krugman’s advice and stimulated the economy with more printed money and debt, they too would have the luxury to care about this lion.

      1. + Z$1B (or roughly ~$2.8M)

  5. Australian officials hope the discovery of some debris on an island in the Indian Ocean will help explain the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

    Well CNN is all set for the next week or so.

    1. I trust Rich Sommer is on top of this.

      …No one here will get this reference.

  6. An ultra-orthodox Jewish man was arrested after allegedly stabbing six people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march. He had just gotten out of prison three weeks ago after serving time for stabbing three people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march in 2005.

    Well, he’s consistant.

    1. He’s getting better at it each year.

      1. 100% increase! Good looking chart!

    2. Why do the gays continue to provoke this man?

    1. That’s, er, kinda disturbing?

      1. Gun ranges won’t bother their neighbors as much.

      2. It’s about as distrubing as “earguard sales up”.

        1. Now THAT would be disturbing.

        2. I’m going to go buy stock in Gorman’s right now!

      3. Nah. Canucks assume that silencers are only for the nefarious (that’s what Wendy Crackpot and her band of misinformed miscreants have been telling us for decades; it’s also the excuse the Canadian government’s used to ban ’em in Canada). Most people use ’em because they attenuate the sonic boom that’s coming out of the muzzle. Saves your ears. *Way* better than earmuffs.

        1. (Mind you, you should still use secondary hearing protection anyways ? you only have one set of tympani…)

          1. I WAS FUCKEN KIDDING.

            /takes silencer and ball home.

    2. They’re still calling them silencers? The CNN douche who wrote that should have a “silenced” rifle go off near his ears. You know, to test the silencer.

      1. When I put a silencer on my Glock 7 I feel invincible.

        1. Too much liquid nitrogen?

      2. The dude who invented them called them ‘silencers.’

        1. ppppth. Someone should have corrected him. I call it “the thing on the end that goes up”

        2. And people who know what they fuck they are talking about usually call them “suppressors”.

          And, yes, I want one for the M1A.

  7. An ultra-orthodox Jewish man was arrested after allegedly stabbing six people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march. He had just gotten out of prison three weeks ago after serving time for stabbing three people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march in 2005.

    Before hearing about the second part of this, I was thinking (hoping?) it might have been my sister’s husband that did that. Seriously, fuck that guy.

    1. Also, from the linked article:

      Ultra-Orthodox Jews have previously gathered in the city’s Mea Shearim quarter to protest against homosexuality.

      When I was a teenager in the early 90s, I went as part of a youth group on a two week trip, first week spent visiting Holocaust sites in Poland, second week spent in Israel. Anyhoo, second week we’re in Jerusalem, and a group of us (3 guys, 2 girls) hail a cab because one of the people in our group knew somebody who owned a shop in Mea Shearim. The cab driver told us immediately that the girls had to get out, then and there. When we got there we saw why; huge signs up saying “Women who are not dressed correctly are not welcome here” (or something like that, it was over 20 years ago). We were told they’ve been known to attack women who are wearing pants or whose skirts don’t go past their knees.

      Those people are fucking nuts.

      1. But dare to criticize them for that shit and you’re immediately labelled an anti-semite.

        1. Nah, I know plenty of Jews who don’t like (more like despise) the Orthodox and Hasidim.

          1. Jews make the best anti-semites.

            1. Hey! They’re not Jews! They’re Jew-ish!

          2. Then they are described as self-loathing jews.

            And while I wasn’t explicit about that, I that when non-jews criticize Israel the non-jews get labelled anti-semites.

            1. in my experience *most* jews think the orthodox/hasids are crazy and as equally un-representative of anything “jewish” as most Christians would consider the KKK, or Amish

              At least from the perspective of NYC jewry, hasids are barely tolerated as a historical aberration, and are loathed by many if not most. Israeli friends of mine tend to have similar perspectives, blaming them for creating a lot of the political deadlock re: settlements in the west bank, etc.

            2. Yeah, because Christians are such a big happy family.

              Catholics, Episcopalians, Mormons, Amish, Seventh Day Adventists, Christian Scientists, snake handlers, they all go golfing together every Saturday afternoon while conspiring to keep the Jews out of their country clubs.

              That would be like the slowest moving golf foursome ever. But they somehow manage to pull it off.

  8. People who don’t understand libertarian thinking seem to think that Sen. Rand Paul’s opposition to Planned Parenthood is unlibertarian. The reality is a lot more complex.

    There seems to be some disagreement on libertaraborto thinking at Reason.

    1. Just put the abortion issue aside. They’re getting tax payer funding, so I’m against it, period. Defund them already, it’s a start at chipping away at a mountain.

      1. But they’re *making money*! You marketfags should like that!

  9. List in order of worst-ness: Cincinnati cop, Jewish gay stabber, the entire LAPD, Minnesota Dentist.

    1. Nikki

      everybody else….

      1. Nikki was not listed. We all know she is worse than everyone, including he who shall not be named.

        1. Jeff Gordon?

        2. Is she merely worse than any single one of them, or is she worse than all of them collectively?

          1. There is no quantifying ‘worst’; it’s like infinity or multiplying by zero.

            1. infinity

              Hears what I don’t get: Why isn’t the logo for Infinity cars the infinity symbol? I mean come on.

              1. Because they’re Infiniti, not Infinity

              2. Probably can’t trademark an infinity symbol.

                On the other hand, I do find the logo the have pretty cool being a stylized ‘i’ in the form of a road stretching away into infinity.

                1. “I do find the logo the have pretty cool being a stylized ‘i’ in the form of a road stretching away into infinity.”

                  (mouth gapes… ponders….nods…. then looks around hoping people will not notice that he never actually knew that)

                  1. Not as cool as the Acura logo. Looks like compass or caliper AND like a letter ‘A’ AND it’s a play on the Honda H logo. I mean, dude. THAT is a fucking logo.

                  2. I’ve heard that it’s also an homage to Mt Fuji.

                    1. The infiniti logo is a homage to Mt Fuji I mean. The Acura one is also one of my favorites. Never noticed the calipers thing.

                      BTW, ‘Gilmore’ it may further blow your mind to note that the Mercedes and BMW logos are airplane propellers since they started as aircraft companies.

                    2. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

                      did not know.

                      I was recently given a similar “Ahh-ha!” when i learneded that the Audi logo referred to the merger of the 4 sub brands (Audi, Horch, DKW, and Wanderer) to form Auto Union AG. But that’s rather boring.

                      Now explain the Chevy symbol. You have 5 seconds.

                    3. That’s the band-aid the Democrats have been using to try and stop the bleeding in Detroit since the 70s.

                    4. We’ve checked with the judges…. and they accept that answer! Congratulations, you’ve just won a all-expense-paid vacation to sea-side Mogadishu, Somalia, courtesy of Al-Shabab Enterprises! Now a word from our sponsor

                  3. (mouth gapes… ponders….nods…. then looks around hoping people will not notice that he never actually knew that)

                    So this was my come-to-logo-Jesus moment: Somebody pointed out to me the Amazon logo is an arrow pointing from the A to the Z (everything from a to z) and it was ALSO a smiley face (with the voids in the [both small] As being the eyes).

                    I wish I could take credit for seeing that.

  10. An ultra-orthodox Jewish man was arrested after allegedly stabbing six people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march. He had just gotten out of prison three weeks ago after serving time for stabbing three people at Jerusalem’s gay pride march in 2005.

    I remember reading a story a few years ago where Orthodox Jews, Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, a smattering of protestant denominations and Muslim groups were trying to stop the Jerusalem Pride parade and thinking “Damn, we bring people together. Good job homos!”

    1. You know who else brought a bunch of different people together in opposition?

      1. Cecil?

      2. Mance Rayder?

      3. The Donald?

      4. The New England Patriots?

  11. Who really pays for New York’s increased minimum wage for fast food workers.

    I was surprised to see this passage in the article:

    Jankowski owns three Tropical Smoothie Cafe franchises on Long Island. The brand has 16 locations in New York and more than 400 nationwide.

    Research suggests that most fast food workers in New York are 22 or older. But Jankowski says the vast majority of her employees are high school and college students. Most earn $8.75 an hour but her shift leaders earn $9.75.

    As it is, due to previous state-mandated wage hikes, Jankowski said she paid an additional $24,000 last year at her busiest cafe, and $15,000 to $18,000 more at each of her other locations. Those amounts will nearly double this year.

    The new higher minimum wage — which will be bumped up every year starting in 2015 until it reaches $15 — means Jankowski will have to raise prices and likely hire fewer employees.

    I know CNN/Money isn’t as bad as Salon or Slate, but still, that’s still surprising to see.

    1. She is rich; she can afford it.

      1. That’s what I was expecting. The comments delivered, but not the story.

        1. The comments are just like 4 idiots talking around each other. I got a weird deja vu feeling…

        2. The comments are just like 4 idiots talking around each other. I got a weird deja vu feeling…

      2. If she can’t afford it, then that’s the market telling her she can’t run a decent business.

        (prepare to see that argument used A LOT)

        1. Three franchises. That means she is probably making an easy seven figures. Trust me, she can afford it.

          1. Not living in New York, she can’t.

          2. Is this sarcasm, or stupidity?

            1. It’s seven figures when you count the change.

      3. Does she really need to earn an income since, you know, everyone knows owners don’t actually ‘work-work’, right?

  12. Zimabwean learns about American progressives:

    “””Why are the Americans more concerned than us?” said Joseph Mabuwa, a 33-year-old father-of-two cleaning his car in the center of the capital. “We never hear them speak out when villagers are killed by lions and elephants in Hwange.”””

    1. If Joseph Mabuwa knew how bugnutty batshit fucking crazy a lot of Americans really are, he would never be the same.

        1. Viewing that made me want tacos.

        2. I remember this. Man, oh, man. Man. That’s a whole lotta crazy. I don’t mean to laugh at people with mental problems but that shit was funny.

          Snow is good with a little catsup. By the way.

        3. I’d say someone should stick a chicken in her yap. Ass-first.

      1. It appears that the entire rest of civilization do not understand American progressives. It has to be that the progs are just so smart that no one else can understand their great wisdom. That, or they’re bugnutty batshit fucking crazy.

        1. I think we all know the answer.

          Like, I mean, if there’s one thing WE ALL can agree on it’s that.

  13. A bunch of small Confederate flags were found scattered around outside the church in Atlanta where Martin Luther King Jr. once preached.

    Well, he was kind of a rebel, too.

    1. scattered by progs in false flag scattering.
      Who would bet against this?

      1. With some line breaks that could almost be a good haiku

        Scattered by proggies
        In a false flag scattering
        Who would bet against?

        1. you repeated a word, five syllable penalty. No haiku for you.

          1. I was trying to minimally step on Ayn Random Variation’s artistic creation.

            *runs from thread sobbing*

      2. Small Confederate flags for some, abortions for the rest.

      3. It’s possible, or it’s just a couple local teenagers deciding to troll. Lots of people find amusement in further enraging already apoplectic people.

        1. True.

          This is just a hunch, but… The whole thing has the flavor of a 4chan stunt.

  14. Ms Rebecca Friedrichs would throw undoubtedly toss a cylon out of an airlock, not doubt really.

  15. MONEY QUOTE:

    “Why are the Americans more concerned than us?” said Joseph Mabuwa, a 33-year-old father-of-two cleaning his car in the center of the capital. “We never hear them speak out when villagers are killed by lions and elephants in Hwange.”

    I take it faux-excessive outrage by self-righteous dumbasses with nothing better to do isn’t the mode in Africa?

    1. If that car wasn’t a Prius Mabuwa can go to hell.

  16. There are two reasons Rand Paul’s opposition to Planned Parenthood isn’t unlibertarian:

    1. If you think this is murder, then opposition to abortion is the same as opposition to homicide. I was unaware favoring laws against homicide was ‘unlibertarian.’

    2. Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar behemoth that gets massive amounts of funding from the government. Even if you’re in some sense pro-choice, I think most libertarians would agree that planned parenthood is just about the worst type of organization that should be carrying these procedures out.

    1. On point 2., it then uses some of those funds for political lobbying.

      Circle of life, I guess.

      1. Some?

        A lot.

        They ran a re-elect Obama campaign out of their back offices.

      2. Yeah, i’m pro choice to a certain degree, PP is trying real hard to change my opinion with this fiasco.

        They are like the Hildog, they assume they have the moral high ground. That PP thumbs their nose at anyone that questions their motivation is funny.

        PP does provide services that are valuable in regards to contraception, stds and other health stuff. That they are choosing to die on this battlefield is instructive. They are choosing to alienate folks like me in the middle that have no problem with their basic services and will die on the hill of selling dead baby parts. The people running that outfit are fucking morons.

    2. As with many other things, the would-be banners created this situation. I would imagine you would pretty much need to be a billion-dollar behemoth to navigate all the regulatory hurdles, lobby the various legislatures, etc.

      1. Citation needed. If you can show me that abortion is uniquely regulated as compared to any other hospital or medical practice, then I’ll concede the point.

        1. Here you go, Chief, and this is just one state. The latest anti-abortion tactic is targeting clinics for special regulations, something that libertarians generally oppose. But, anyway, I would say the sticking point is the huge chasm between hospital and medical practice (exact scope unspecified). So…optometrists, physical therapists, doctor’s office, dentists, oral surgeons, specialized procedure places (ie, colonoscopy), rehabilitation (PT) hospitals, ambulatory surgery centers, what?

          1. Oops, here’s the bobcat. See section Regulation of Abortion Clinics.

            1. In 2010, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli issued a non-binding legal opinion that would allow the Board to regulate outpatient abortion clinics as if they were hospital facilities called “ambulatory surgical centers.”

              Compared to my criterion of an example where abortion is uniquely regulated as compared to any other hospital or medical practice, this seems to fall a bit flat. (It is also the same provision that was controversial here in TX this year)

              I’m not in the medical field, so maybe I’m missing the outrage in this, but classifying abortion clinics as surgical centers and regulating them thusly doesn’t seem particularly out of place and in need of a billion-dollar lobbying arm (SLDs about medical regulation apply). Maybe I’m mistaken and there’s a billion-dollar oncology regulation lobby and a billion-dollar burn unit regulation lobby, but I doubt it.

            2. Opening a restaurant in Ames, IA has this level of regulation.

          2. What a load of bullshit. I guess we’re supposed to forget that one of the main reasons given for legalizing abortion was so that it could be “safe and regulated.”

            Now the fucking murderous pieces of shit are like “Surgery? Sterile environment? Regulations? Dude, we totally need to conduct these operations in a dark back alley for the safety of the woman, and also we’re gonna need $500 million in state funding to make sure we don’t get regulated.”

            Un fucking believable.

      2. What regulatory hurdles?

        Genuinely don’t know and a couple of my more, devout, friends are all like “it’s completely unregulated”.

        1. Some states (TX being in the news lately) attempt to hold abortion clinics to surgery ward standards regarding (i would guess) equipment, health and safety regulations, and requiring somebody on staff to have admitting privileges.

      1. Genius.

    3. Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar behemoth that gets massive amounts of funding from the government.

      PP is franchised — each PP is a separate entity that is franchised PPFA.

      But, yeah, I’ve never seen an organization so obsessed with making money.

  17. I had poutine at Smoke’s Poutinerie in Hollywood last night.

    If you have not, you should. Leave your families, make a pilgrimage and stuff your face with fries gravy and cheese curds.

    Go now.

    1. Poutine sucks.

      1. I bet you don’t like cilantro either.

        Some people are just too broken to help.

        1. Given that it comes with a side order of mexican shit these days…

        2. And for them, may I recommend frites sauce.

        3. Not liking Cilantro is often a genetic thing. They say it tastes like dishwater, which it kind of does after you get through the Cilantro-y goodness; those poor people only taste the dishwater flavor, being unable to sense the goodness.

          1. I hate cilantro. There is no cilantro-y goodness for my palate. :_(

          2. Telling a date who can’t stand cilantro “Well I suppose it’s a good thing you won’t be procreating because I’d hate for THAT gene to get passed on” is apparently not a nice thing to say.

            1. Jesse, some people may have to get offended for the good of the species. You did the right thing.

          3. From the ever-reliable Wikipedia:

            Different people may perceive the taste of coriander leaves differently. Those who enjoy it say it has a refreshing, lemony or lime-like flavor, while those who dislike it have a strong aversion to its taste and smell, likening it to that of soap and bugs. Twin studies have shown that 80% of identical twins shared the same preference for the herb, but fraternal twins agreed only about half the time, strongly suggesting a genetic component to the preference. In a genetic survey of nearly 30,000 people, two genetic variants linked to perception of coriander have been found, the most common of which is a gene involved in sensing smells. The gene, OR6A2, lies within a cluster of olfactory-receptor genes, and encodes a receptor that is highly sensitive to aldehyde chemicals. Flavor chemists have found that the coriander aroma is created by a half-dozen or so substances, and most of these are aldehydes. Those who dislike the taste are sensitive to the offending unsaturated aldehydes, while simultaneously may also be unable to detect the aromatic chemicals that others find pleasant. Association between its taste and several other genes, including a bitter-taste receptor, have also been found.

        4. Anyone who doesn’t like cilantro is totally fucked up. I’m now attempting a year round crop of it that will allow us to not buy it anymore. Right now, it’s looking pretty bad as it all bolted in this heat. Damn global warming. Only the democrats can save my cilantro plans.

          1. Anyone who doesn’t like cilantro is totally fucked up.

            *Raises hand*

            See my and Tonio’s posts above.

          2. I have found growing cilantro to be not worth the effort for exactly the same reason- it gets bolted too easily. I also found that if you are harvesting it regularly, it doesn’t grow a good crop of leaves very well.

            We have tended to just buy bunches every 3 – 4 weeks and keep them in a plastic cylinder with water in the bottom in our fridge.

            1. it gets bolted too easily

              Yes. It is classified as a cool-weather plant, which is odd considering its use in cuisines near the tropics (S.E. Asian, Caribbean, Mexican, etc.). My wife and I keep a garden of herbs used in Thai cooking because you can’t always find what you need around here, but cilantro is such a pain in the ass. It did well this year, though. Unlike my Thai basil which was completely horked.

        5. Cilantro is great. Fries are ok. Cheese is great. Gravy is great. Fries with gravy is great. Fries with cheese is great. Fries with cheese and gravy is great. Poutine is shit because the cheese they use is shit and so is the gravy.

        1. You’re a curd.

          No whey!

          1. Don’t make me narrow my gays at you two…

    2. I see they are in Canada and the US west coast.

      Dammit. Well, people have made harder pilgrimages. Though I see one of their Canadian locations is in a place I plan to visit in September. Bookmarked. Thanks!

      1. I mention it explicitly because it belongs to a commenter, AND is delicious.

        Obese American|7.17.15 @ 4:34PM|#|

        Hey L.A. Reasonoids, I’ve opened my poutinerie in Hollywood (that’s as specific as I will get, please don’t ban me for spam). Come on by!

        1. Ahh, right, I remember seeing that post. I’ll keep it mind for when I’m next in the LA area, but I still plan on visiting one of their Canadian locations in September.

        2. Why Hollywood? Why not somewhere, like, cold?

          1. Fries, cheese, gravy + people letting out from bars and craving greasy food that they forbid themselves when sober = $$$

          2. Because the taxes in San Francisco are even higher.

    3. There’s one 15 minutes from me so I doubt I’ll need to do leave my family for that. Though I got to say, it is a very nice place to have poutine.

    4. Never tried it, but I want to and might head there this weekend. I was in Montreal a few years back and when I asked who made the best poutine in town I was alternately told KFC and McDonalds. WTF? Needless to say, I didn’t try it at either place.

      1. I was alternately told KFC and McDonalds.

        You spend a lot of time with Quebecois white trash or something?

        1. Quebecois white trash

          Sounds redundant.

          1. Hey, that’s unfair to like, 4% of Quebecois.

      2. Who the fuck did you ask?

        Someone with a piece of corn sticking out of their head?

        1. I was hoping no one would ask this, but they were strippers in a club I was visiting. In their defense, most were immigrants and not native Canadians.

          1. Which strip joint?

            Little ‘Ti Mongol?

            1. Don’t remember. I was staying in a Holiday Inn Express on Ren? L?vesque Boulevard and walked a few blocks over to it. It was on a busy street and I might have visited more than one.

              1. Classy.

                1. Exactly. Everyone knows the best strips are in Laval on Laurentides blvd.

          2. Well now we need to know if you got the tour du monde.

            1. H?las, pas de…

    5. Much to my chagrin, it appears that I will be residing in LA come September. This will make our return to LA schools prisons a bit less distasteful.

    6. Bless you, my child.

    7. My next culinary big outing is to a poutinery. I will bring news and reviews

  18. Former University of Cincinnati Police Officer Ray Tensing has pleaded not guilty of murder for shooting Samuel DuBose in a head during a traffic stop earlier this month.

    This may explain why the cop was scared.

    1. All men have two heads 😉

  19. Taiwan’s first female president: Not ‘if,’ but ‘who?’

    But wait… if both major candidates are women, how do we know whose turn it is???

    A Chinese military drill simulates an attack on Taiwan’s presidential office

    …an official video of a People’s Liberation Army exercise, showing a raid on a building that looks strikingly like the Presidential Office Building in Taipei.

    The video?which aired July 5 on CCTV, China’s state-run news broadcaster?shows tanks firing and guns blazing in the PLA’s annual Stride-Zhurihe live-fire exercise held in Inner Mongolia.

    Subtle, as always.

    1. Nu ren dang zong tong? Kai wan xiao!

      1. Vincent Adultman|7.30.15 @ 5:19PM| block | mute | #

        Nice.

      2. Duibuqi, wo ting bu dong.

        1. Duibuqi, wo ting bu dong.

          But..you just…how could you…*sighs*

      3. You have to use a number after the word or I can’t understand it.

    2. “A Chinese military drill….”

      Uh, does this involve everyone jumping out of military vehicles and switching seats?

  20. Whitey virtue posers culturally appropriate Zimbabwean lion theme meme in strategic anti-essentialist voodoo dance against anti-choice zealots.

    1. Been hanging out with Agile?

  21. 80 percent unemployment

    Jesus, really?

    1. I’m going to guess a huge percentage of Zimbabweans work in ‘unofficial’ jobs that don’t get counted in government stats.

      1. Given that their money is so shit I bought some just to say I had a hundred trillion (all in one note, by the way), I’m pretty sure they’re also getting paid in product and not currency.

        1. They use American dollars/pounds/South African currency now and stopped using the Zimbabwean dollar in 2009.

          1. I know, but do you think the 80% figure is new?

  22. You Know Which other countries obsessed over clamping down on treasonous and separatist symbols?

    1. The US?

  23. The reality is a lot more complex.

    I read that Weigel article this morning.
    I judged it to be mostly incoherent. I still don’t now what his point was.

    1. Thank goodness Weigel was never employed by Reason.

  24. People who don’t understand libertarian thinking seem to think that Sen. Rand Paul’s opposition to Planned Parenthood is unlibertarian.

    Hmmmm…

    https://reason.com/blog/2015/07…..ndment-pre

  25. Dunno if this one has been posted already; haven’t been paying as much attention to H&R lately:

    A rap anthem called ‘F*ck Communism’ is going viral in Vietnam

    One of Vietnam’s most subversive new rap songs isn’t about partying, sex or even drugs. It’s simply called “F*ck Communism.” (We added the asterisk.) It’s a six-minute revenge fantasy targeting dirty cops, crooked bureaucrats and the so-called “professional thieves” who run the Communist Party of Vietnam.
    Here are a few choice verses:

    “All embezzlers will die without burial.”
    “The traffic cops will be executed first.”
    “I’ll never accept being a slave. F*ck communism.”

    This song is dangerously rebellious in Vietnam, an authoritarian state that attempts to crush anti-government dissent. It’s also growing really popular. Since its release in January, the track has racked up 875,000 views on YouTube ? and in a country with fewer than 40 million internet users, that’s a huge hit song.
    Going public with a song titled “F*ck Communism” in Vietnam is practically begging to get arrested. It was composed by a well-known rapper named Nah, a self-described “middle-class kid” from Ho Chi Minh City who makes no effort to conceal his real name: Nguyen Vu Son.

    1. Sheldon Richman has a sad.

      1. Along with Mtrueman and American Socialist.

        1. You left out Tony. Now Tony has a sad.

    2. “The traffic cops will be executed first”

      Libertarian moment.

      1. It works for me.

      2. *Clapping*

    3. What’s the Vietnamese word for “woodchipper”?

    4. The traffic cops will be executed first

      I like the cut of this guy’s jib.

    5. I really hope the title is intended to double as a “Preacher” reference

    6. Sort of related.
      Country Joe McDonald (of the Fish) is hosting a ‘free speech’ party or get-together or something in Berkeley soon.
      It’s going to be dedicated to celebrating free speech and ‘social justice’.
      I don’t think ol’ Country Joe has all the marbles anymore…

    7. What rhymes with Communism?

      1. The sound of a firing squad.

      2. Onanism?

    8. Great link, thanks.

    9. The US doesn’t need to save every country from turning itself into a shithole. It just needs to provide an alternative and let time (and the ever-widening GDP gap) do the work.

  26. Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May making show for Amazon.

    The first 10 episodes will feature them racing an Amazon same-day parcel delivery and losing every time!

    1. They’re getting $250 million for 36 episodes. Damn.

      1. God Bless them, every one. 😉

    2. There was a lot of celebrating this in the AM, but there is a wrinkle in this: Amazon Prime video is only available in something like six countries, I believe. They’re either going to have to start massively expanding their penetration, or accept a whole lot of pirating and much diminished viewership compared to the show.

      1. expanding their penetration

        You can’t just say things like this.

        1. “Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore?”

      2. Amazon are the types of businesspeople who would account for piracy in their business plans.

        1. Arrrrr, that they do, matey

      3. Well it’s not like any other network has ever figured out a way to syndicate a show where they don’t offer service.

  27. A Bernie Sanders Donald Trump third party ticket would be wildly entertaining.

    http://hotair.com/archives/201…..of-bernie/

  28. By request (not Nicole’s) we’re going to pop over to Italy for today.

    Antonio Candreva

    The man looks radically different from picture to picture, especially without a beard.

    1. Bonus image: He looks much more boyish wandering around in his skivvies.

    2. I like his versatile playing style. It’s a nice balance between elegance and rugged.

      1. Oh Rufus you are so gay.

        1. I have my moments.

          And Jesse.

          You’ll have to ask Antonio.

      2. versatile

        Go on…

  29. Top Gear ran out of good ideas years ago. Those guys should just retire.
    Fifth Gear was better, anyway.

    1. A+ trolling

    2. that is some mad trolling. What do you have a mad crush on Vikki Butler Henderson? Not that we all don’t, but still.

    3. I have to admit that I started stopping more and more of their regular episodes in the later seasons. But their features continued to be great. My biggest problem was that BBC America and DIsh Network always seemed to conspire to make it impossible for my DVR to understand if it was a new episode or not, so I chronically missed episodes.

  30. It seems like this would have been posted already, but I haven’t seen it…

    Tenn. lawyer demands to be called ‘Captain Justice’

    Move in response to prosecutors’ motion to [stop] references to them as ‘the government.’

    “The State has noticed in the past few years that it has become commonplace during trials for attorneys for defendants, and especially Mr. Justice, to refer to State’s attorneys as ‘the Government,’ ” […] “The State believes that such a reference is used in a derogatory way and is meant to make the State’s attorney seem oppressive and to inflame the jury.”

    His response:

    If the court sided with Rettig, he demanded his client no longer be referred to as “the Defendant,” but instead be called “Mister,” “the Citizen Accused” or “that innocent man”…

    “Rather, counsel for the Citizen Accused should be referred to primarily as the ‘Defender of the Innocent.’ ? Alternatively, counsel would also accept the designation ‘Guardian of the Realm,’ “…

    And since prosecutors are often referred to formally as “General” in court, Justice, …offered up a military title of his own.

    “Whenever addressed by name, the name ‘Captain Justice’ will be appropriate.”

    …he went on to say that even “the defense” wasn’t adequate and that “the Resistance” would be far more appropriate.

    1. He then concluded his motion, returning to the formal language of court documents ? sort of.

      “WHEREFORE, Captain Justice, Guardian of the Realm and Leader of the Resistance, primarily asks that the Court deny the State’s motion, as lacking legal basis.”

      1. I’m fairly certain I saw this at the AM links… in November… in 2013.

    2. That man is a goddamn hero.

    3. It’s from November 2013.

      I could swear I saw it on the Volokh Conspiracy at some point.

      1. You think I look at dates???

        But probably.

    4. to refer to State’s attorneys as ‘the Government,’ ” […] “The State believes that such a reference is used in a derogatory way

      Well, I mean, when I say government, I almost always mean it in a derogatory way.

    1. That is a nice change from the usual death metal, sounds like some guy coughing up a furball links.

    2. Jeff Beck covered that song in 2007.

      I like the look on Tal’s face at :42.

      1. I like the look on Tal’s face at :42.

        FTFY

  31. What the hell is wrong with this country?

    At better restaurants, servers report that coordinated ordering is nearly universal at tables of foodies who want to sample as much of the menu as possible. The group margarita with four straws is becoming a thing.

    “Sharing has been one of the biggest trends in restaurants in recent years, and as millennials get into their 40s, they’re not going to give up on it,” said Annika Stensson, director of research communications at the National Restaurant Association, which recently released a survey marking the continuing encroachment of “grazing and small-plate sharing” over the traditional “Who-had-the-crab cake?” model.

    More than 60 percent of chefs surveyed by the group said plate-sharing remains a hot trend in the industry. The concept has made that list seven of the past nine years.

    “It’s moved from being a hot trend to a perennial favorite,” Stensson said. “Even where they don’t serve small plates, people are making a meal of appetizers for the purpose of sharing.”

    NO

    But a table of men? “You’ll have five guys eating five orders of salmon,” she said.

    YES

    1. Why don’t you want to try more food Carl

      1. The. Worst.

      2. I love tapas. I get to shove many flavors into my gob.

        1. Tapas are just an excuse for restaurateurs to charge exorbitant rates for appetizers. Give me a mezze platter or banchan (??) any day and I’m happy.

          1. Incorrect. What I love about Spanish food is it is about the ingredients and simple. Good fish, good olive oil, sea salt, a la plancha, with a nice Rioja. Damn. Now I’m hungry.

            1. I prefer a filet-o-fish sandwich and a nice boxed merlot with two ice cubes.

              1. I prefer a filet-o-fish sandwich and a nice boxed merlot with two ice cubes.

                You…you…don’t ever change CJ.

            2. I like Spanish cuisine and various small plates, just not when combined at a a restaurant in the US.

              1. I like Spanish cuisine and various small plates, just not when combined at a a restaurant in the US.

                Have you been to Ceviche? I think they are a chain, but are pretty good.

                1. Have you been to Ceviche?

                  I have not. Any restaurant around me that has ceviche in in the name is more likely to be Peruvian. A coworker does an absolutely amazing ceviche and brings some for me whenever she makes it.


                  1. I have not. Any restaurant around me that has ceviche in in the name is more likely to be Peruvian. A coworker does an absolutely amazing ceviche and brings some for me whenever she makes it.

                    I just checked and they’re only in FL. My wife is half Peruvian so taught me to make ceviche. I like to serve it over golden Yukon potatoes.

                    1. That sounds delightful, and I’m officially hungry.

                      I should jot down my coworker’s recipe. I know she keeps it simple and I consider it the standard by which I judge ceviche when eating out.

            3. There’s a Spanish place down at the harbor that I keep thinking about trying every time I walk by there, the name is La Tasca. But I keep passing on it. Never really had Spanish before. Been eating Mexican food my entire life, but never tried Spanish, yet.

              1. I did my honeymoon in Spain and really enjoyed the food. Spainairds are crazy for seafood, which is one of my favorite cuisines.

          2. So you like overpaying for a bunch of appetizers?

            1. Define over-paid. I’ve been to Tapas restaurants where the per plate goes between $5 and $15 where the low end is salad/bruchetta stuff and the high end is sea scallops and foie gras. Meanwhile, a plate of nachos at Buffalo Wild Wings is $9.00.

              I don’t see any indication that Tapas are any more or less expensive than any other appetizer with the same ingredients.

              As an aside, count me in as a sharer. I like sushi, but I like it best when I go with a bunch of people so we can order several rolls along with our nigiri. It is much more interesting.

              1. Where the hell do you get $5 a plate tapas? I’ve only seen minimum $7 and usually $9-11. Anyway, I’m going to order a $9 app to share (most likely) and a couple of $15-20 (or so) entrees, so something like $40. At a tapas place, for two people to get enough food you’ve each got to order 4-5 plates at an average of $8 a piece (being conservative). So 8 plates total for $64 and I’m still fucking hungry at the end.

                1. I’m in Colorado. But when I lived in California, I didn’t find it at all different- just all together more expensive.

                  The Tapas restaurants I went to tended to be upscale, and with drinks and all for the wife and I we ended up at around $80 which wasn’t much different than when we would go to an upscale restaurant with 2 courses. And I got to have 4 or 5 different tastes instead of 1 or 2.

              2. Overt if you are ever in Orlando or Gainesville, go to Dragonfly sushi. You’ll thank me.

    2. the best part of that is that millenials and men are distinct from each other

    3. millennials get into their 40s

      Umm, what??

      1. Millennials are whatever age allows the reporter to name-drop them in the article.

      2. 1985 is the common cutoff I hear used. That means another 10 years until the first millennials are in their 40s.

        1. I figured millennial was measured as being close to or after the millennium. While you may be correct, it seems rather silly to consider anyone born in the ’80s to be a Millennial.

          1. My understanding is that being a child in the year 2000 was the rough reason for it being called Millennial. For instance, I was born in 1988 and was thus 11-12 years old in 2000. I think there’s a generation that hasn’t been labeled yet that is pretty much born on 9/11 and after. I think that makes sense generation gap wise.

            Baby Boomer – ’46-’64 (19 years)
            Gen X – ’65-’84 (20 years)
            Millennial – ’85-’01 (17 years)
            9/11 Generation – ’02- present (14 years so far, probably another 5 to go)

  32. More importantly, I’m headed to Perth, Australia next week for a month.

    Anyone have any recommendations on what I should check out while I’m there?

    1. Kill a koala bear. Post pic of dead koala bear on facebook.

      1. YES THIS NAME MAKES ME SO HAPPY

        You need to link your name to video of Vincent Adultman doing shit though.

        1. Hey man, he works all day at the business factory, and when he gets home he just wants to watch R-rated movies and post on H&R. Cut him some slack.

          1. Hello, other grownups. Did anyone go to the stock market today?

            1. I’m making money in it, or losing it, depending on the day, but I never go there.

      2. I don’t know if Koala’s live in West Australia, but if I see one I’ll knife it.

        1. They don’t – not anymore. The aboriginals hunted them to extinction. From what I’ve heard, Perth is an attractive city but not super-exciting. Jump on the AM links and ask Invisible Furry Hand.

          1. Aussieland is full of dangerous critters. But apparently, before whitey showed up and ruined that continent too, there was some monster lizard that lived there and ate the Aboriginals whole, in one bite. But then it got killed off before whitey arrived. Damn Aboriginals, who the fuck they think they are, killing stuff out, when that’s the job of whitey!

            1. Dude they wiped out a monitor lizard twice their size with just spears. Now they have guns, maybe you should be more respectful.

    2. Perth Mint.

      http://www.perthmint.com.au/

      I took the tour and watched a guy pour a gold bar. I took an early tour and was the only one in the group. The tour guide was an Aussie that went to high school in Mississippi.

      I heard Rottnest Island is nice, though I skipped it. I got sick while in Perth and was running short on cash.

      Fremantle has a Bon Scott statue on the waterfront. The fish and chips place next to the statue is pretty good. The Sail and Anchor in Fremantle was rated, when I was there, as the best beer bar in the area. I don’t know what the current ratings are.

      1. Thank you.

        1. You’re welcome! Enjoy! Let us know how it goes.

    3. I remember someone from Perth posting on Hit & Run. Gordilocks I think?

      1. Perth is the city I always forget.

    4. Drop bear victims

      1. Oh, you mean antipodian mulch.

      2. NO! You see a drop bear victim you RUN! Unless you have a wet tea bag.

        1. What about those of us with Wizard hats? (Sic)

  33. “Actual residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.”
    I have to admit to caring exactly as much as they do.

    1. “The Verge is under the same parent company as Vox, FWIW”

      And there I was assuming that all media companies were super-progressive-retarded completely independently of one another

  34. Actual residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.

    Of course they don’t. This is what we affectionately call “white people problems”.

    1. In ZImbabwe “white people problems” is getting shot by people who want your land.

  35. It can’t be said often enough – Bernie Sanders’ stance on immigration proves he is not an international socialist, he is a national socialist.

    1. Don’t say that. I have it on good authority that Kevin Williamson is Satan for daring to make that point.

    2. The differences are slim to begin with.

  36. College Board “caves to conservatives”

    Some of the main criticisms of the guidelines, conservatives voiced, were less emphasis on the founding fathers and more emphasis on slavery. The guidelines also included earlier American history that included violence against Native Americans and mentioned the growing influence of social conservatives. There were also complaints that World War II was not emphasized enough, but military victories will be given more attention in the new standards. Mentions of slavery will be “roughly the same” as previous standards, according to Newsweek.

    Trigger warning: Links to thinkprogress

    1. Maybe we could just not have a one-size fits all school system. That way, we wouldn’t have to worry about everyone being taught the exact same historical events, and if you’re upset by conservative/progressive guidelines you could just choose a school that does not subscribe to them.

      1. First sentence:

        After backlash from conservatives that AP guidelines released last year by the College Board were unpatriotic, the new AP standards, which are effective immediately, will use the phrase “American exceptionalism,” and includes the founding fathers, according to Newsweek.

        Those damned conservatives got the founding fathers back in history books! Fuckers.

        1. Why is reporting history (i.e., mentioning the Founding Fathers) an issue of patriotism?

          *Checks source, sees it is ThinkProgress*

          Oh.

          1. Comments. don’t.

          2. Well, this is pretty much nothing but a back and forth pissing contest.

            Progressives get what they want included then conservatives freak out about MUH PATRIOTISM and get what they want included and then progressives get outraged about white privilege.

            And around and around we go.

            1. Yep.

              meanwhile, little johnny’s basic literacy and math skills continue their general descent while costs per-pupil steadily climb

            2. Like you say, educational choice could solve this problem. But what’s the point of solving problems like this one? Creating problems is the raison d’?tre of TEAM politics.

              1. Choice in education would solve it for us, but not for the Progs and Cons who are OUTRAGED when people don’t think like them.

            3. This essential point has been discussed. That’s why libertarians are so hated by progressives, we’ve got nothing to offer them.

              Fuck you, cut spending.

        2. The founding fathers as you so fondly refer to them as, were slave owners. So all of their ideas are irrelevant. Note, progressives of that day didn’t own any slaves!

          1. If pointing out that several of the Founders were slave owners and that that is somehow relevant to their ideas is fair game, then so is pointing out that progressive heroes like Margaret Sanger and Oliver Wendell Homes promoted eugenics and that that is somehow relevant to progressivism is fair, too.

            1. then so is pointing out that progressive heroes like Margaret Sanger and Oliver Wendell Homes promoted eugenics

              That was a long time ago, teabagger!

      2. It’s almost like you could use this back-and-forth to teach people about subjectivity and interpretation in history. If, you know, your goal was actual education.

        1. I went to a super-left-wing ‘alternative’ high-school program

          our sophomore history class had us read Howard Zinn’s “People’s History” alongside a textbook by Richard Hofstadler (sp)

          The entire point was to examine how different biases are utilized in creating ‘historical narratives’, and how to distinguish facts from the super-imposed threads.

          It wasn’t trying to pitch either view of history as “better”, but rather just give people a critical eye

          Regardless, most people ended up just saying, “SO UR SAYING ZINN IS RIGHT?!” and the teachers just got tired and went “yeah, basically”

  37. Exploding Kittens

    “Your games start shipping today,” creator Elan Lee posted on Thursday. “Exploding Kittens,” which had a funding goal of $10,000, raised nearly $8.8 million when the campaign ended on Feb. 19.

    1. Gasp! Zimbabwaeian kittens?

    2. Oh… it’s a… card game.

      My cheer is gone.

    3. How does a product that doesn’t exist get people to pay 8million bucks for it?

      1. misattributed PT Barnum quote goes here.

        1. So they said Zippy the Pinhead was in the box?

  38. ” residents of Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment, have exactly zero fucks to give about some dentist killing a lion there.”

    Well Scott, that’s just because they’re Fuck-Deprived

  39. 2016 Olympics: Athletes will compete in waters contaminated with dangerous levels of human feces.

    An analysis of water quality in Rio de Janeiro’s swimming and boating venues revealed hazardous levels of viruses and bacteria from human sewage, The Associated Press reported.

    1. It’s Brazil’s attempt at a home field advantage, their athletes will be acclimated to it.

    2. Wasn’t Rio de Janeiro once considered to be basically the jewel of South America, what the hell happened?

      1. Jewel?

        I guess the term “Favela” is new to you?

        1. Have you been to Rio? The city is gorgeous and has a very European feel to it. You aren’t supposed to go to the favelas, you know?

      2. Uh, have you been to South America? The two things aren’t exclusive.

        (And get ready for that to come to the US by 2050 or so…and no, I don’t mean the Olympics)

    3. The water in RIO is almost always too cold to swim in anyway. I don’t think a lot of people realize how far south that is. If you want to swim in Brazil, think Nordeste. Although you might get stung by a n exotic jelly, or eaten by a great white. Better to stick to tidal pools at low tide, or don’t go in at all.

  40. “A bunch of small Confederate flags were found scattered around outside the church in Atlanta where Martin Luther King Jr. once preached.”

    I can’t wait for the security video which will show a group of girls with “#blacklivesmatter” t-shirts scurrying up, haphazardly throwing them and running away

    1. Even if not, Jeebus, what a trivial item for a news story.

      1. That too.

        Not only is it something clearly intended to look as though there’s some racists lurking in the shadows …

        (because seriously, the racists have always been there, they just chose to use the *confederate flag* this time, instead of spraypainting DIE NIGGER DIE on the church)

        …its obviously intended to be spoonfed to the news people.

        ‘false flag’ (HIYOOOOOO!!)

        1. The incident is being investigated by both Atlanta police and federal authorities, including Homeland Security and the National Park Service as the church and its campus are national landmarks.

          So, at least three different agencies. We’re lucky they have so much free time to devote to this, now that they’ve solved all the murders and robberies and rapes.

    2. Pretty sure there was video, and it did show white males. But so what, it’s just the real life version of internet trolling. It’s a confederate flag, not a burning cross.

      1. “”White Males””

        I still see that as proof of nothing until they’re sure they’re not Oberlin graduates

      2. If it wasn’t a rebel flag before, it sure is now.

  41. Gen Con starts today

    The event, which celebrates tabletop gaming, takes place at the Indiana Convention Center July 30-Aug. 2. Last year’s Gen Con yielded 56,614 unique attendees, according to organizers.

    Heh. “unique attendees”

    1. they were all dorks in their own special way

      1. *rolls a D20 for Gygax*

        1. Are you crazy! You want to fail your Saving Throw vs. Death too?

          1. its been 20 years and i still find that song as annoying as the day it came out

            Bone-Thugs really took the Das EFX-esqe, iggity-wiggeddy-diggetty thing to a whole new level

    2. Heh. “unique attendees”

      On person, attempting to set a record, attended fifty-two times.

  42. It’s that time of year again

    http://nbc4i.com/2015/07/30/4-…..iolations/

  43. Zimbabwe, which suffers from 80 percent unemployment

    To which, I have zero fucks to give.

    1. Indeed. Fuck Zimbabwe, turn it back into Rhodesia.

      1. “Zimbabwean Ridgeback” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

      2. I wondering what the most trollish remark re: the dead lion and zimbabwe could be.

        like, when people go “omg its so horrible this white man paid $50,000 to kill a lion!”, should the reply be, “I know! God, what a ripoff. Unless it was in zimbabwe dollars, in which case, wow…what a bargain.”?

    1. The very first time I heard about that technology, I decided I would never buy one precisely because someone (possibly from the government) could hack it and fuck with it.

      (it’s not like I could afford one, anyway)

      The only way I’d buy any “smart gun” apparatus is if it were possible to remove the “smart” portion in seconds and chuck it aside, leaving me with a completely normal firearm.

    1. See this is much more humane than Cyto’s suggestion of legalizing ramming through people.

      Best part? People donating to Greenpeace are now effectively subsidizing the oil industry.

      1. They should just have a firefighting tug come out and hose these people off. If you don’t feel like getting nailed with a fire hose, you can pack it up and leave.

        1. I just read the word “kayaktavists” and a little part of me died.

        2. I have no problem with the “Russian approach” whenever loons are directly interfering with lawful commerce.

      2. “Best part? People donating to Greenpeace are now effectively subsidizing the oil industry.”
        I LIKE that!

        1. “Best part? People donating to Greenpeace are now effectively subsidizing the oil industry.”
          I LOVE that!

        1. I still think it should have been higher – because they’re going to give up when they need to take a shit, or there’s a thunderstorm, or whatever.

          I can’t believe people think this sort of thing has any utility from the POV of ‘Environmental Activism” –

          wow! they DELAYED an oil tanker for a few days!

          YOU TAKE THAT, GLOBAL FOSSIL FUELS INFRASTRUCTURE WHICH PROVIDES THE PLANET WITH MOST OF ITS MODERN ENERGY AND TRANSPORT REQUIREMENTS

          I mean…who are the retards that think this is anything except shameless self-promotion? (ok, portland…i know..but really)

          1. From my perusal of the #shellNo hashtag on Twitter, it’s a bunch of people whose parents took them to an environmental protest, so it’s like nostalgic and stuff. That along with a mix of scientifically illiterate global warming hysteria. Oh, and a bunch of people who aren’t against drilling, but think that drilling in the Arctic is worse than drilling in a rainforest for biodiversity. You know, this Arctic.

            1. They seem to rotate the parts of the planet they’re pissing themselves about every 5 years or so.

              Not long ago, the burning/clear-cutting of the rainforest was URGENT CONCERN!!! that if not addressed was going to be as devastating as….. WAIT!!! SUDAN!! DARFUR!!! IMPENDING TRAGEDY OF GINORMOUS PROPORTIONS which is also racist because if it were white people being killed like this? the UN would absolutely intervene because HEY CHILD SOLDIERS IN CHAD!!! KONY 2012!!! MUST STOP THIS URGENT PROBLEM BECAUSE Oh wait, its Obama’s Re Election?? KEYSTONE PIPELINE MUST BE STOPPED!!!!

              1. Thus why i call them the chattering class. They can’t help but chatter on about the latest 24-hour news crisis of the day. They’re like pigs at the state fair, guided along by beings much smarter than themselves, trampling everything in their path and shitting on what’s left.

              2. The “state of emergency” never ends for prog-fascists.

      3. More humane does not necessarily mean better.

        Why is Greenpeace not listed as a criminal organization?

        1. Paying off the appropriate pols?

  44. Ethereum Frontier version released.

    https://www.ethereum.org/

    1. Hey, let me know when they P2P the DNS system.

      1. There are people working on it.

        https://bit.namecoin.info/

        Related: Namecoin broke ICANN’s monopoly years ago.

  45. Zimbabweans don’t give a damn when pale things are killed. Just ask their farmers.

  46. Zimbabweans don’t give a damn when pale things are killed. Just ask their farmers.

    1. Actually, Zimbabweans hate seeing pale things killed ( before they’ve been thoroughly tortured and mutilated ).

  47. Former University of Cincinnati Police Officer Ray Tensing has pleaded not guilty of murder for shooting Samuel DuBose in a head during a traffic stop earlier this month.

    [ clears throat ] “a” head? Just exactly how many heads did Mr. DuBose have?

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