'Major Technical Issue' Halts New York Stock Exchange Trading, United Grounds 3,500 Flights Due to 'Technical Glitch', Facebook Updates Icon for Gender Equality: P.M. Links

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  • BBC

    The New York Stock Exchange went down today for nearly four hours because of what it called a "major technical issue."  United Airlines had to ground flights for a second time in five weeks, affecting more than half a million travelers, because of what it called a "technical glitch".

  • The pope is scheduled to address Congress in September, and the speech will be broadcast outside the Capitol building.
  • New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says he'll sign an executive order that will place investigations of police killings in the state under the purview of the attorney general's office.
  • An F-16 collided with a Cessna over South Carolina, killing the pilot and his adult son.
  • Subway has suspended its relationship with spokesperson Jared Fogle after federal authorities raided his home.  A previous raid of the home of a former executive director of Fogle's charity allegedly uncovered child pornography.
  • Authorities in Italy seized $1.76 billion from a Sicilian construction company they allege has ties to the mafia.
  • A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it "was quite literally in the shadow of the man."

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NEXT: Hillary Clinton Thinks She Went "Above and Beyond" Just By Complying With Email Retention Requirements

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  1. The New York Stock Exchange went down today for nearly four hours because of what it called a “major technical issue.”

    Fixed by getting the exchange to play tic-tac-toe, no. of players zero.

    1. But I don’t want to play chess.

      1. What a strange game. The only way to win is not to play.

    2. Real time map of the cyber attacks.

      1. Holy crap. What exactly is this map showing?

        1. St. Louis is really taking it on the chin.

          1. AlI get from this is that China is really a dick.

          2. They want our beechwood aged beer recipe!

          3. Yeah, what do the hackers of the world have against St. Louis?

            Black Servers Matter!

            1. Nothing. As Stormy mentions, the “attacks” this map purports to show are against honeypot servers that are made to be vulnerable to common attacks on purpose. Most if not all of the attackers are opportunists simply looking for servers with common vulnerabilities, and most of the attacks are probably happening without human interaction.

              Unless there’s someone out there who is trying to deliberately add noise to Norse’s threat intelligence feeds, none of these attacks are targeted.

              Also, a lot of what is coming up for St. Louis is on a rando high-number port and listed as “unknown”, which suggests they may be counting port scans as “attacks”.

          4. No wonder my computer is slow today…I’m right near the epicenter.

        2. The company that runs that map has a bunch of honeypot servers (the company makes money from other paying to get one installed on their local network) all over the place and the map is showing all the attempts to probe one of them based on where the probe came from and what sort of probe it was.

          1. Cool thank you

      2. That makes it look waaaaay more interesting than it is.

        *pulls out laser gun*
        Pew Pew Pew

      3. Whoa. What the hell, Sweden?

      4. That thing looks so crazy I can hardly believe it. Is that just a normal day or is some extra special cyberwar event occurring?

        1. I’m not sure it is real or just a way to draw in customers. These guys sell systems designed to stop cyber attacks. They claim to:

          Block attacks before they target your network, and dramatically improve the ROI on your entire security infrastructure.

          But on SC magazine site:

          If you think the map is cool, consider data centers in more than 50 countries and tens of terabytes per day of data that they are analyzing. All of this is focused in the Norse DarkMatter Platform. DarkMatter collects data from sensors, geolocation, open source and a wide variety of other sources. It then uses advanced Big Data analytics to make sense of the massive amounts of data and then makes the analyses available to Norse customers in a variety of ways.

          1. Okay, so PEW PEW PEW is all business as usual then.

      5. Jesus, something like 600 attacks have come from South Korea in the last minute.

      6. Goddamn it! The only winning move is not to play!

      7. Many of the lasers are heading toward Seattle. Epi?

    3. The Wall Street Journal was off-line for awhile today, as well. Rupert Murdock has a sad. 🙁

      1. Are you not a paper subscriber also?

        Shame Shame.

        1. Hell no. Can’t stand the recycling.

          1. Nor can I

          2. Me neither.

            Instead, I take pleasure in burning paper and releasing CO2 into the atmosphere.

            1. Exactly. Recyling, hell!
              Stick the papers under an old tire, pour some drain oil on the pile and torch it off. For earth day, get two tires.

          3. I can’t stand the neo-con editorial page. I subscribed for 30 years, but no more.

    4. I’m curious how the fuck AM and PM links get 1 billion comments in the first five minutes!?! every single time.

      1. I have 15 different scripts who are regulars on the comments pages, and they all comment on the Lynx

        1. as long as there’s an explanation, I don’t care what it is- so I’ll take it.

          Gracias.

    5. They pissed on its sparkplugs..

      1. Gen. Beringer wants to know if that really does help.

  2. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says he’ll sign an executive order that will place investigations of police killings in the state under the purview of the attorney general’s office.

    Thus keeping politics out of it.

    1. But keeping wood chippers, subpoenas, and gag orders in it.

      1. No, Injun, the Woodchipper Incident government bad guys were feds who happen to be located in NY. The governor of NY has no authority over those federal officials.

  3. The word of the day is “technical.”

    1. It’s like the Reason squirrels have gone Agent Smith in Matrix Reloaded.

    2. Can I mount an auto-cannon in the back of my Ranchero?

  4. An F-16 collided with a Cessna over South Carolina, killing the pilot and his adult son.

    Another technical glitch?

    1. The F-16 has to be responsible, right? It’s so much faster and maneuverable that I wonder if the Cessna even saw it coming.

      1. Yeah, not seeing how it could possibly be the Cessna pilot’s fault. He shouldn’t have been able to collide with an F-16, even intentionally.

        1. Too bad it wasn’t an F-35. If it had been the ‘Cessna’ could have outmaneuvered it.

          1. +1 Flying Toaster!

          2. Excuse me, it is not supposed to outmaneuver a Cessna

            -Department of Defense

            1. This reminds me of when Peter the Great combated modern (at the time) ships with rowboats. And had some success.

        2. http://www.wyff4.com/news/fire…..y/34033818

          the F16:

          At a news conference late Tuesday afternoon, Col. Stephen Jost with the 20th Fighter Wing out of Shaw Air Force Base in Sumter, S.C., said the F-16 pilot was Maj. Aaron Johnson, with the 55th Fighter Squadron attached to Shaw.

          Jost said Johnson was on a single-ship training mission flying instrument approaches into Charleston before returning to Shaw.

          . . . . .

          He said there were no weather conditions that affected the flight. Jost said the flight from Shaw to Charleston takes about 10 minutes, and Johnson was in two-way communication with air traffic control. The F-16 was at an elevation of 2,000 to 3,000 feet, he said.

          the Cessna:

          He said it is not yet known if the Cessna pilot had filed a flight plan, but the pilot was communicating with the control tower and had announced his departure.

          Lewis said it is believed the small plane was headed to Myrtle Beach, and had taken off only moments before the collision.

          At this point, either pilot could be at fault.

          1. Also, Air Traffic Control could well have fucked up here too.

            1. If it was VFR both pilots are responsible for see and avoid. They will hang a pilot for it, most likely.

              1. “They will hang a pilot for it admit no wrong doing, deflect all responsibility, and quietly shuffle the major off to some administrative position somewhere until this incident is long forgotten , most likely.”

        3. Unless it was during takeoff or landing – yes.

      2. Well, the F-16 is certainly equipped with radar; the Cessna not necessarily.

        1. The F-16’s radar might not have mattered.

          Note: To be fair, and despite falling off of radar repeatedly, this was more of a bureaucracy goof-up more than anything else.

    2. Pet peeve: The tendency of non-aviation press to use the term “Cessna” as a synonym for any single engine aircraft. That’s like describing every passenger car as a Chevrolet. Not blaming Krayewski since he’s just quoting the Fox News article, but unclear whether it was actually a Cessna brand aircraft.

      1. That is sloppy. They should’ve referred to it as a flying car.

        1. Sloopy’s not here, man.

          1. That bit will live forever. In the very distant future, they’ll confuse that with HAL’s line in 2001.

            1. I’m sorry, ProL, I’m afraid I can’t do that…

              1. I’m sorry, Dave, but Dave’s not here.

        2. Or a “mechanical air horse.”

          1. what about gas powered gravity battler?

              1. flying money pit

                1. You must mean flying boats.

      2. Also, there were two pilots. I assume the one in the flying Chevy died.

        1. Oh boy – ANOTHER lawsuit for GM…..

          *ensures no GM stock remains in portfolio*

        2. Yeah both in the flying C-box died. The F-16 pilot lived.

          1. Or, you know, a man was flying an F-16 and, miraculously, he collided with his adult son who was piloting a Cessna.

            I only read headlines.

            1. Is there an opposite of miraculous, like infamous is to famous?

              1. Is there an opposite of miraculous,

                You bet. The word you are searching for is “ordinary”.

                Infamous isn’t the opposite of famous, BTW. It doesn’t mean “not famous”, it means “famous for bad things”.

                Just like inflammable isn’t the opposite of flammable.

            2. I can’t crash into this plane; the pilot’s my son!

          2. Assuming the fighter jock ejected, which isn’t an option for small aircraft.

      3. According to the Air Force Times:
        http://www.airforcetimes.com/s…../29816379/
        “The Federal Aviation Administration said the jet collided with a Cessna C-150…”

      4. Ok, apparently it was an actual Cessna model 150 according to Forbes.

        1. Hey apparently it was a Cessna model 150

          1. I wonder what kind of airplane the F-16 hit?

      5. Icarus craft…

  5. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    Should be a picture of his rib, you heathen.

    1. “As a woman, educated at a women’s college it was hard not to read into the symbolism of the current icon”

      *facepalm*

      1. When they start with “As a” you know what comes after is going to be pretty stupid.

        1. No it just means that she has insights into reality that your white male heterosexual patriarchical brain can’t fathom.

          1. Thank God it can’t

        2. That’s actually not always true, and people are starting to repeat lines similar to this a lot. If someone says, “As a physicist who has spent years studying gravity, I know your description of gravity is wrong,” that’s fine. The problem isn’t the “as a” construction, it’s in putting so much value on meaningless identifiers that don’t actually confer special knowledge.

          1. As a Reasonoid, I know that you are the worst.

            1. See?

              1. Everyone knows you’re the worst though:)

          2. Its the “appeal to subjectivity”

            But then, you’d never understand

          3. Even when the construction is used properly as in your example, it still grates. It’s almost as bad as “as per” or “as to”.

          4. The physicist title should be in the byline. People who know what they are talking about don’t usually need qualifiers. Yes, the meaningless identifiers are more what I was addressing though.

            Now if she wants to go with, as a women educated at a women’s college, my lesbian roommates and I were laying on our shared king size bed and decided we would order a pizza. Then things got interesting…..

            That I’m cool with.

            1. I also have less issue with it if you’re referring to someone other than yourself.

        3. “As a regular Hit&Run; commenter, I thought Sugarfree’s stories were just fiction…”

      2. “As a person suffering from hallucinations, it’s hard not to see demonic faces everywhere.”

        And this is everyone else’s problem, not hers.

      3. As a woman, educated at a women’s college it was hard not to read into the symbolism of the current icon; the woman… was not in a position to lean in.

        And now she’s in front, and in a position to bend over, and get fucked by both of the men behind her. Perfection!

      4. Now that the woman’s icon is in the center I just read the image as a silhouette viewed from behind. The woman icon is still a subservient icon standing behind the male icons. Those icons can be shifted around any which way and my superior male brain will naturally and unconsciously shift perspective to make the image correct.

    2. How sexist of her. That could have been a woman with short hair and a man with long hair. Or a transgendered man and a transgendered woman…

  6. Authorities in Italy seized $1.76 billion from a Sicilian construction company they allege has ties to the mafia.

    “Look over there!” -Olive oil industry.

    1. Re Olive Oil, which I just have to share. I was told by a alarmingly progressive co-worker today that Greece can go off the Euro no problem, by 1) taxing tourism at double the current rate and 2) simply jacking up the price of olive oil “through the roof”. That’s it. That was his recovery plan.

      1. …and that’s why we call your friend “The Problem Solver”.

        1. And I didn’t say he was my “friend”, pal.

          1. He’s not your pal, buddy.

            1. He’s not your buddy, chum.

            2. He’s not your buddy bro.

      2. Does Greece have the power to mandate that every country it exports to has to buy the same amount of olive oil? Or that tourists who were thinking of going to Greece have to book tickets?

        Your co-worker (as I’m sure you already know) isn’t very good at thinking ahead. Hopefully he’s not in charge of any big projects.

        As an aside- my fiance and I are going on our honeymoon in mid September. We were originally considering Santorini, but ultimately decided on a safari in Tanzania and then Zanibar.

        It’s a little odd that I’m extremely thankful we’re going to sub-Saharan Africa over Greece, with regard to the political situation anyway.

        1. Or that tourists who were thinking of going to Greece have to book tickets?

          If they don’t, then they are enemies of democracy.

      3. Is your coworker, by any chance, a Top Man?

        1. pretty sure he’s a bottom – from what I’ve heard…

        2. He IS a Top Man. Advanced Degree and everything. It makes me sad really..

      4. *slow clapping*

  7. The pope is scheduled to address Congress in September, and the speech will be broadcast outside the Capitol building.

    Bad Climate change. Derp derp derp.

    Bad KKKapitalism. Derp Derp derp.

    Bad America. Derp derp derp.

    1. I get the feeling Pope Francis wants to be to climate change what John Paul was to communism. But John Paul was brave, and went against the current of the time. Pope Francis just joins the soggy liberal consensus and might as well be speaking at the Ethical Culture Society.

      1. If there is a big drop in global temperatures over the next 20 years, will the pope put his Holy Slippers in his mouth?

        1. Hell no. “It’s a miracle!!!!!!!” He’ll be a shoe-in for sainthood.

        2. will the pope put his Holy Slippers in his mouth?

          +1 PePo

      2. Seems like he’s a terrible ambassador for Catholicism, especially since most leftists aren’t into Christianity.

        1. Maybe not in the US.

          1. That’s what I meant, but fair point.

        2. Most leftists aren’t into transphobia, either, but here’s something from the environmental encyclical:

          “Human ecology also implies another profound reality: the relationship between human life and the moral law, which is inscribed in our nature and is necessary for the creation of a more dignified environment. Pope Benedict XVI spoke of an “ecology of man”, based on the fact that “man too has a nature that he must respect and that he cannot manipulate at will”? Also, valuing one’s own body in its femininity or masculinity is necessary if I am going to be able to recognize myself in an encounter with someone who is different. In this way we can joyfully accept the specific gifts of another man or woman, the work of God the Creator, and find mutual enrichment. It is not a healthy attitude which would seek “to cancel out sexual difference because it no longer knows how to confront it”.”

          http://chiesa.espresso.repubbl…..1072?eng=y

          1. Oh, here’s another one:

            “120. Since everything is interrelated, concern for the protection of nature is also incompatible with the justification of abortion. How can we genuinely teach the importance of concern for other vulnerable beings, however troublesome or inconvenient they may be, if we fail to protect a human embryo, even when its presence is uncomfortable and creates difficulties? “If personal and social sensitivity towards the acceptance of the new life is lost, then other forms of acceptance that are valuable for society also wither away”.”

            http://w2.vatican.va/content/f…..to-si.html

            1. My personal favorite:

              55. Some countries are gradually making significant progress, developing more effective controls and working to combat corruption. People may well have a growing ecological sensitivity but it has not succeeded in changing their harmful habits of consumption which, rather than decreasing, appear to be growing all the more. A simple example is the increasing use and power of air-conditioning.

              Seems that His Holiness does not like air conditioning. I think that progressives could at least turn theirs off to demonstrate solidarity with his whims.

        3. The social justice bullcrap plays really well among the Catholics.

      3. But Elizabeth Stoker Breunig loves him so much!

        1. Unfortunately for her, most popes don’t swing that way.

          1. She could pass for a little boy. Easily.

          2. Oh well, there’s always the Crusty Juggler…

  8. BBCBBCThe New York Stock Exchange went down today for nearly four hours because of what it called a “major technical issue.” United Airlines had to ground flights for a second time in five weeks, affecting more than half a million travelers, because of what it called a “technical glitch”.

    Can Hillary blame her email fiasco on a “technical glitch”?

  9. Subway has suspended its relationship with spokesperson Jared Fogle after federal authorities raided his home.

    They should have severed ties because he quite obviously hasn’t kept the weight off. Subway diet, my ass.

    1. Maybe now they can afford to spend some money on edible ingredients instead.

  10. Legalizing marijuana was for the best, says Washington state county sheriff

    I was a drug enforcement officer and arrested lots of people for every single drug imaginable and took them to jail. What I learned during that time was that the war on drugs hasn’t worked. More than that it’s been an abject failure.

    1. Interesting. The guy who was on the ground arresting drug users thinks the war on drugs is a failure, and Willie “double down” Bennett thinks it’s a resounding success. I wonder why?

      1. The cop is evaluating success based upon the ostensible objectives of the WoD.

        Bill Bennett evaluates success based upon the actual objectives of the WoD.

    2. “…an abject failure…”

      Depends on your metrics.

      1. Hey, hey, buddy – enough with the “metric”. We’re still using the goddamned ENGLISH measurement system here, as God intended!

  11. U.S. spy agency tapped German chancellery for decades: WikiLeaks

    New NSA T-Shirt being circulated with picture of Angela Merkel = “I Tapped Datass”

    1. Hard to get worked up about that. It’s one of the things the NSA is actually supposed to do.

      1. No, actually, when spying on allies, rule #1 is don’t ever get caught doing it.

        1. I think the Germans are pissed off that they were treated differently from the Anglosphere countries. They thought the Americans really liked them.

      2. ^This.

        A “feminist” I know was all upset about Angela Merkel’s phone being tapped. I told her that it is the job of the NSA, and she should be worried about American citizens who are supposed to be protected by the 4th amendment.

        1. At least spying on allies is legal.

    2. They got the idea from the Stasi?

  12. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    And now it is fair that the man is in the shadow of the woman.

    After all, 2 wrongs make 1 right.

    1. It’s not enough to correct an injustice–someone has to punished for allowing it to happen in the first place. Most of the time that’s the dude. Because patriarchy, of course.

    2. It’s not about equality, it’s about retribution

    3. I like this bit:

      Caitlyn thought she would get into trouble for changing the design without permission, but “instead, and somewhat magically, the new icons began to appear” across Facebook.

      From the “shit that didn’t happen” files.

      1. Caitlyn?!?! THE Caitlyn?

      2. From the “shit that didn’t happen” files.

        This is actually quite possible knowing how Facebook releases code.

        I’m guessing what happened here is she changed the icon on their style guide or image repository. And as people developed new pages/apps/etc that needed a ‘friends’ icon, this icon started getting copied and incorporated.

        All that said, I doubt anyone gave a shit. They probably didn’t even know that the icon changed. They went to the image repo and grabbed it and published it.

        1. knowing how Facebook releases code

          Too hip for quality control? God I hope I don’t have any money in them.

          1. No they have lots of quality control. One of the best release management processes I’ve ever seen, and a really great tech stack that lets them turn on and off features for very selective groups. So they can have features running in production with some components loaded only for the developer or people who meet certain demographics.

            But images are not code. They are created by designers and checked into an image repository. When a developer is building a new site/page/app, they go to the repo and find the image and add it into their library. It is noteworthy that most of facebook’s friends icons are still the old version right now, so this is why I’m betting it is “magically” showing up as new features are added.

    4. Also, what about the second man? Why does he still have to be in the shadow of the first man?

    5. No, but close…there is a formula

  13. Subway has suspended its relationship with spokesperson Jared Fogle after federal authorities raided his home. A previous raid of the home of a former executive director of Fogle’s charity allegedly uncovered child pornography.

    I’m betting Fogle is cleared of the whole mess but forever tainted by the incident.

    1. “I din’t touch no taint!”

      1. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment…

  14. Subway has suspended its relationship with spokesperson Jared Fogle after federal authorities raided his home. A previous raid of the home of a former executive director of Fogle’s charity allegedly uncovered child pornography.

    I’d repost my joke about him fitting into smaller pants, but I’ve learned recently that jokes can cause mass shootings and other crimes.

    1. He can now fit 5 children into his pants.

      1. OH! I thought those were Amy Schumer’s pants…

        1. He can now fit Amy Schumer into his pants, but he’s just not that into her (or anyone past puberty, allegedly).

          1. Only Mexican boys.

  15. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    2d objects cast shadows now?

    1. 2D objects! Is that all they are to you!

      I thought she just meant the figurative shadows cast by the LEDs.

      Either way, it’s just a symbol so the one interpretation must be the most divisive and thus changed.

  16. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    It was a man identifying as a woman. What’s the problem, Facebook?

    1. The icon must contain a likeness of each of Facebook’s gender types or it is a microaggression every time I load the page. * bolts door, hides under covers*

      1. 56 years old. What a lucky dirtbag!

      2. It’s good to be a Stonecutter!

    1. that was awesome

    2. He still comes to the Edinburgh Fringe in recent years

  17. “As a woman, educated at a women’s college it was hard not to read into the symbolism of the current icon; the woman… was not in a position to lean in.”

    Methinks the problem here isn’t a chip in the shoulder…

    1. Wait… she actually invoked the “lean in” thing? Clapping, barking seals…

      1. WTF does that “lean in” shit mean, anyways?

        1. It’s explained in the article but I forgot already.

        2. It’s like punching down or nudging or triggering or something. It’s an idea so good that tax payers had be forced to pay for the salary of the person who came up with it.

          1. Taxpayers pay Sheryl Sandberg? Well that’s sure news.

            1. ME FREE SOCIETY ME KNOW STUFF WIMEN R DUM

              1. How do you let the strawman beat YOU? Yikes, dude.

            2. Taxpayers pay Sheryl Sandberg? Well that’s sure news.

              Women’s Studies isn’t exactly a field of study in high demand by the market. It owes it pervasive existence to tax payer subsidized tuition and academic salaries. It’s not news that I have spell this shit out to the likes of you and Warty there.

              1. Except…Sheryl Sandberg isn’t a Women’s Studies major or professor…She is a pretty successful leader in the tech industry…

    2. Also, how is it these cases of symbolism are both flagrant enough to be seriously injurious to women’s egos but so unnoticeable it took several years to detect? These people are nutters on the level of Bible numerologists.

      1. It just took her this long to overcome the objections of PATRIARCHY!

        1. I keep hearing my name.

  18. Hillary Clinton Thinks She Went “Above and Beyond” Just By Complying With Email Retention Requirements

    Every time I see that picture from the press conference at the U.N., I think of that dreadful joke she told about using one device because it was simpler. Then I think about all the “journalists” who laughed at the joke. Then I break things.

    1. Hillary Clinton Thinks She Went “Above and Beyond” Just By Complying With Email Retention Requirements

      Unfortunately, a wood chipper shredded her emails.

  19. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    Well, ladies first, amirite?

    1. Feminists tell me that chivalry is sexist.

      1. This may be true, but if you come first, then it’s rape.

    2. I am in favor of the man being behind. And underneath. The husband agrees.

      1. Yeah, well as long as you’re still first. *dirty joke implied here*

        1. *dirty joke implied here*

          What? At HnR? I never.

        2. Implied? I thought you were being explicit. Of COURSE ladies must come first.

          1. Of COURSE ladies must come first.

            Well, if they want to be treated equally and with dignity they can worry about their own…wait, what are we talking about?

            1. treated […] with dignity

              I’m willing to let dignity slide on certain occasions. Also, slip.

      2. My takeaway is that Facebook is endorsing spitroasting.

      3. +69 *release pressure, then sleep

        1. You have the right of it. *sage nod*

    3. *excited clapping* *enthusiastic jazz hands*

    4. What I find terrible is that the logo doesn’t even represent the other 23 genders.

      Fascists.

  20. The pope is scheduled to address Congress in September, and the speech will be broadcast outside the Capitol building.

    Expect a load of papal bull.

    1. Well-played.

  21. “As a woman, educated at a women’s college it was hard not to read into the symbolism of the current icon; the woman… was not in a position to lean in.”

    BAN WOMEN’S COLLEGES

    1. Can you explain this “lean in” shit to me? I think I’ve almost got a grasp on “basic”, though, finally.

      1. Sheryl Sandberg (who works at FB) wrote a book called “Lean In” about how if you want to be successful, you have to “lean in” to what you are doing, i.e., try hard.

        1. Thanks, hon.

          1. *crosses “Facebook* off list of places I would ever consider working at*

            1. As somebody who has been “courted” by Facebook and has friends that work at Facebook, I agree. Beautiful campus with lavish amenities, but you can feel the lack of responsibility emanating from every person who walks by. It’s like they took a bunch of rebellious 15 year olds and locked them on a compound with whatever they desire for some sort of lord of the flies experiment.

        2. Oh, ok. I thought it was some kind of feminist thing about asserting yourself to men or something.

          1. It’s a feminist thing about working hard to succeed. CRAZY

            1. Yeah, one of the main points was that it discarded the notion that Women are Victimz and we must change our behavior to to redress their grievances.

              Sandberg still feels there is discrimination, but she feels it is possible to overcome by “Leaning in”. That is, when some patriarch is looking to promote someone to a new position, his bias may make him overlook you, but that doesn’t mean you should just sit there and complain. You should be willing to take risks and maybe go that extra step that a man may not have to in order to get noticed and promoted.

              I don’t think it is that controversial or objectionable, though the level to which women are discriminated is a fair point of debate. But it sidesteps that debate by saying “So what!? Just woman up and work harder.”

              1. Yep. And a lot of feminists really don’t like it.

                1. I did get the impression that the book pissed off some of the right people when it came out, in terms of counseling women to work within the oppressive, capitalist system.

              2. Sorry, I only promote people who look like me.

            2. Sandberg is just a shill for capitalism.

      2. It’s about being able to lean down without men peeking past your neckline.

        1. while you wear the lowest cut blouse you could find.

        2. Almost. It’s about leaning in so your boss can see down your blouse so you get a promotion.

  22. Who am I kidding, the hammer thrower here would do just fine. Bonus rugby lad porn for Jesse and Kristen.

    1. The only hammer-thrower I respect is Thor.

    2. I find this subject to be quite fascinating.

      1. Odell does look pretty good

        1. And by pretty good you mean hideous?

  23. Nobel Prize-winning scientist says Obama is ‘dead wrong’ on global warming

    In 2008, Dr. Ivar Giaever joined over 70 Nobel Science Laureates in endorsing Barack Obama for president, but seven years later the Nobel Prize winner now stands against the president on global warming.

    “I would say that basically global warming is a non-problem,” Giaever, who won the Nobel for physics in 1973, told an audience at the Lindau Nobel Laureate meeting earlier this month.

    Sorry about the source. But interesting.

    1. That scientist needs to learn the science is settled and get in line.

    2. Somebody is going to be re-educated…

      1. It’s not so bad. They let you keep part of your brain.

        1. In a jar?

    3. Burn the heretic bastard, and take away his Nobel Prize!

      1. Obama or Giaever ?

    4. He’s obviously not a “real” scientist then like Al Gore.

  24. Baltimore: Fires Police Commissioner, Ensuring No Police Misconduct Will Ever Happen Again

    1. would not disclose their practices to those in the helping professions and risk reactions like ridicule, disgust and possible diagnosis of a mental illness.

      Good thinking

      1. those in the helping professions

        “the helping professions”?

        What the fuck?

    2. The latest protected class?

      1. Stop othering them, Notorious

      2. I blame HBO.

  25. FBI Douchebag = “You can’t have encryption on computers and stuff, because of Raghead Luddites in the Desert

    1. woodchippas! Get your woodchippas here!

    2. Cyber gun control. I’m still gonna try to make that a thing.

  26. Elizabeth Stoker Breunig gave a speech called ‘In Defense of Pope Francis’ Economics.

    She is so boring that it’s hard to find the dumbest parts because your eyes start to glaze over. However:

    “This Economy Kills”

    Well, this is going to go to some dark places.

    “Since the 1970s, wages for the lowest-income workers have stagnated, and jobs have disappeared.”

    I love this argument because it ignores the fact that the lowest-income workers today are not the same low income workers from 1975. The lowest-income workers today are overwhelmingly people who immigrated to this country since those years, particularly from Mexico. So saying wages have stagnated at the bottom end is disingenuous – the people at the bottom end are making far more money than their parents were when they lived in Mexico, while the people who were at the bottom end in 1970 are in a higher income strata today and are therefore wealthier. This is a complicated point, which is why Breunig doesn’t get it.

    1. And she is a f***in Ph.D. student at an Ivy League University?

      O.M.F.G.

      1. Well, it is Brown.

        1. Wow – racist much?

          /unclear on the concept

    2. The astonishing upward mobility that we have in this country is something leftists desperately don’t want to talk about or figure in to any conversation about economics.

      1. This is another elephant in the room from Brookings:

        “In 2009, the poverty rate for children in married-couple families was 11.0 percent. By contrast, the poverty rate for children in female-headed families was 44.3 percent. [7] The difference between these two poverty rates is a specter haunting American social policy because the percentage of American children who live in female-headed families has been increasing relentlessly for over five decades. In 1950, 6.3 percent of families with children were headed by a single mother. By 2010, 23.9 percent of families with children had single-mother heads. [8] That a higher and higher fraction of children live in the family type in which they are about four times as likely to be poor exerts strong upward pressure on the poverty rate. One way to think of the shift to female-headed families is that even if government policy were successful in moving people out of poverty, the large changes in family composition serve to offset at least part of the progress that otherwise would be made. In fact, a Brookings analysis shows that if we had the marriage rate we had in 1970, the poverty rate would fall by more than 25 percent. [9]”

        This is Brookings. It’s hardly making up those numbers for ideological reasons like Heritage might.

        1. Here’s a stat regarding immigration that underplays the issue of immigration related to poverty rates:

          “It comes as little surprise, then, that the poverty rate among immigrants is higher than the poverty rate among native-born Americans. In 2009, the immigrant poverty rate was 19.0 percent as compared with 13.7 percent for native-born Americans. Given that the overall poverty rate for the nation was 14.3 percent, the poverty rate would be lower by about 0.6 percentage points (or around 1.9 million people) if the immigrant poverty rate were the same as the poverty rate for native-born citizens. [20]”

          It says it would drop by only 0.6% if the poverty rate for immigrants were the same as for native born citizens, but there’s one issue – this doesn’t mention the poverty rate of the children of immigrants, who are poorer than the children of non-immigrants. If you consider that the US has had constant and high volume immigration for 40 years, our poverty rate is quite a bit higher than it would be without the poverty brought in by recent immigrant populations.

          1. I think a key point that almost never gets mentioned is what we term ‘poverty’ in the USA is considered pretty well off for these folks compared to their home situation — and that’s why they came here!

            I’d really like to see the USA definition of ‘poverty’ be an actual level of severely poor — which, of course, is almost non-existent in our country. But no, let’s just pick a moving target that is some percentile level of the average income, because we need a certain number of people to qualify for all the goddam anti-poverty programs we have.

            1. I don’t know, I remember when Doctors Without Borders set up shop in downtown LA. They were giving dental care to people who pulled out their own teeth with pliers because they couldn’t afford dental care. Isn’t that poor? Call it the *effective* poor if you will, but I think pulling out your own teeth with pliers because you can’t afford a dentist is poor by a reasonable definition.

              1. I think pulling out your own teeth with pliers because you can’t afford a dentist is poor by a reasonable definition.

                So the entire population of the UK including the Royal family?

              2. I wonder how much of that story was apocryphal, or due to illegals who feared going to an actual dentist or dental clinic, rather than due to financial reasons. California Medicaid (Medi-Cal) covers dental work, and LA has dental schools that offer very low-cost dental care, so no poor person should ever have to go without such care.

                In fact, that’s something that doesn’t even get included in poverty calculations — all the non-dollar benefits the poor have access to. Here in CA you can get free medical and dental, food stamps, subsidized housing, subsidized cell phones, reduced-rate public transportation, and much, much more, which doesn’t get added on to your ‘household income.’

                1. Which is bullshit, since by basically refusing to count the shit that the government does to fight poverty against poverty, it is ensuring it can never claim success and fuck with the marxist narrative.

          2. I am an open borders guy, but there is no doubt that a lot of the class warfare bullshit of the left- especially as it pertains to income inequality- is caused by immigration.

            How you can import barely educated, non english speaking people to this country and not expect income inequality to increase is beyond me. This is why I vehemently argue with people who think that income inequality is some giant moral catastrophe. No, it is the expected result of a country that is wildly innovative and yet still welcoming of people from poorer countries.

        2. The numbers might be solid but the quote you pulled seems to be taking causation = correlation for granted.

    3. In the early 1970s, I was definitely in the bottom income quintile. I qualified for food stamps, but would not take them.

      Now I’m squarely in the top quintile. Between then and now, I’ve been in every quintile; sometimes up and sometimes down.

      The whole analysis that the class warriors purvey is arrant sophism.

      1. In one of Thomas Sowell’s books he says that in one decade, the 80’s, IIRC, 20% of those who started in the bottom quintile of earners ended up in the top quintile by the end of the decade.

    1. I thought that would be about Anthony Kennedy.

    1. “Oh, so sorry! Misunderstood. Yes, Russia agree Hillary is hack!”

    1. My takeaway would result in the following title:

      Only 26% of Democrats Have a Clue

      1. Its funny that no one has noticed the single most interesting data point.

        What group has the 2nd lowest % of self-described Liberals?

  27. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    I see two pigs that are about to kiss.

    1. +1 Inside Amy Schumer episode

  28. New Zealand makes Internet trolling illegal.

    There’s a special place on Mount Doom for judges who enforce that law.

    1. Is it trolling to call New Zealand by its real name – Middle Earth?

      1. Technically its Cave Trolling.

    2. The bill passed the New Zealand parliament with an overwhelming 116 to 5 majority

      You deserve the kind of government you vote for. Only five sane, eh?

    3. “The bill was introduced after a public outcry over the horrific “Roast Busters” scandal, in which a group of teenage boys from Auckland was accused of sexually assaulting drunk, under age girls and boasting about the acts on social media.”

      Yes, because we wouldn’t want to know this was going on. Don’t publicly talk about your crimes. Brilliant. Brilliant.

  29. HUD* (not to be confused with C.H.U.D.), inventor of racially-segregated urban public housing which guaranteed a generation of inner-city blacks to a life of cloistered misery and crime has decided Segregation is Bad, so stop that.

    We believe they will solve everything this time.

    1. How are they going to learn if they don’t experiment first, GLIMORE? Got to crack a few eggs.

      1. “”GLIMORE””

        You’re confusing me with the Scandinavian troll-creature, second cousin to Grendel.

        I get that a lot.

        1. *nods head* Sorry, but the resemblance is shocking. You could be twins.

    2. Well, if you’re an optimist, this will lead to a new generation of Fresh Princes. If you’re a pessimist, this will lead to a new generation of Trayvons.

    3. Hopefully these communities will tell HUD to try and fuck a rolling doughnut.

      Wishful thinking on my part. It just keeps getting better….We’re HUD, we have fucked up housing options for people in a tough spot for 50 years and now we have NEW ideas that will mitigate the stupid shit we’ve done for 50 years.

      You can’t make this shit up…

  30. Re Pope Francis: I think that right-wing reactionary Catholics are going through a period of trial testing their beliefs.

    Under Benedict XVI, it was easy enough for the reactionaries to preach obedience to the Pope, because we basically agreed with him.

    We still agree enthusiastically with Pope Francis on many things (check out his teachings on abortion and complementarity of the sexes), but we have to deal with the temptation to distance ourselves from him on the economy and the environment so that all the other reactionaries will invite us to their parties.

    He points out many spiritual problems re the economy and the environment – selfishness, poisoning poor peoples’ water, etc. If reactionaries want to keep defending market solutions, they will have to show that they can address the Pope’s concerns within a market framework.

    Simply going into “dissent” isn’t an option IMHO, because that’s what lefty Catholics do – take their ball and go home.

    1. You know, it’s time for another anti-pope. This time in Avignon, Quebec.

      1. How bout that skater chick with the french name, first female prelate.

    2. cool story, bro

      1. Wow, my post attracted lots of enthusiasm, as I had predicted!

    3. “Your Holiness, the libertarians on H&R don’t think I’m cool any more.”

      “Did they ever think you were cool?”

      “No, Your Holiness, but that isn’t the point…”

      1. I forgive you, my son, though God may need more from you. Go unto the heathen thrice more and preach unto them words of peace and love.

        1. Can I at least use snark?

          1. Lo, and the pope did grant unto his children the righteous power of snark, with which the righteous did smite the unrighteous therewith, thereupon, and therefor.

            1. I seem to be facing a bit of an uphill battle here.

              1. Well, what do you expect from someone who just declared himself to be the right and true pope? I mean, that makes you a heretic in my church. You know, anathema, cast out, an abomination before our sight, that sort of thing.

                1. I am, however, willing to sell you an indulgence. And, because I’m a nice pope, I’ll let you in on a little secret–there’s a Groupon special for my indulgences this week.

                  1. Indulgences are for sins which have already been repented of and confessed, and I haven’t repented of denying your pope-ness.

                    Your inability to get basic concepts straight may be considered evidence against your claims, your Holiness.

                    1. Basic concepts in your church, not in my One True Church. But I’m a forgiving pope, so I’ll forgive you again. Have a Holy Cookie, my son.

                      You know, I think this is how L. Ron Hubbard got started.

                    2. It is confusing, though. They’re more like sin credits, really.

                    3. Sort of a modern day credit default swap and the pope figured it a thousand years ago, OMG.

    4. If reactionaries want to keep defending market solutions, they will have to show that they can address the Pope’s concerns within a market framework.

      Look at the last 300 years and ask tally up where the worst environmental disasters, famines, and overall poverty is/was found. Hint: not in countries with market-based economies.

      1. Had a friend in grad school who told me, quite seriously, that the economic disasters in the USSR came from their willingness to use capitalist approaches at times.

        1. OK, I doubt that *any* Pope would go so far as to endorse the USSR.

          1. That would be a little strange, yes. That’s kind of like the head Jew of the world endorsing Hitler’s government.

            Who is head Jew, anyway? Jesus?

              1. Who is Grand Nagus in 2015, anyway?

      2. “If reactionaries want to keep defending market solutions, they will have to show that they can address the Pope’s concerns within a market framework.”

        This is why commies are able to make so much progress. Eddie thinks the commiepope’s professed concerns are what he is actually concerned about and that if he can some up with some solid solutions in a market framework the commiepope will get on board. Good grief.

        He is a fuckin’ commie Eddie. What he wants is a highly centralized, authoritarian style governance that controls the minutia of everyone’s lives. He doesn’t give half a shit about the poor or the environment or any of that shit.

        We have a good solution to all of those concerns. It is called a free market. They explicitly reject that. Commiepope has even been whining about many of the benefits of the prosperity that a free market would bring; prosperity.

        Wake up dude.

        1. “He doesn’t give half a shit about the poor or the environment or any of that shit.”

          Ah, I forgot about your Helm of Telepathy, by which you are able to read people’s minds and discern their *true* motives.

          And it turns out that people of *your* political orientation have a monopoly on caring, empathy and good motives. Your Helm of Telepathy reveals that political disagreement = no interest at all in the welfare of others.

        2. Nope, he cares, SB, it’s what the church is all about. Grew up their and they were always about helping others.

          I’m not a Catlick for 40 years but the dude is honest about what he believes.

          You seem to hate the dude because he’s religious. I think he’s a misguided lieawatha type, but I don’t think he want’s a totalitarian outcome.

          While I agree that free markets are best you seem to have a hard on for the Catholic church. You seem to be a prick in this instance, like you have an axe to grind.

          Correct me if I’m wrong.

          People have bad outcomes in life it happens, whether it be eddie or what appears to be an anti religion bent in your case.

          I’m not religious at all, and don’t give a shit who wants to be religious, you seem to have a problem with what others believe.

          Explain, dude.

    1. WHAT???!

    2. “Future work will study whether there is correlation between an increase in student loan grants and an increase in college course fees”

  31. Check out the uniform of San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi. “No, I want more stars! Put some on the collar, too!”

    A real comic opera/banana republic vibe.

    1. Only one ribbon, though. Shit, he really needs to get out there and fuck the public personally earn some recognition!

    2. What’s on my shoulder? Four stars. And those stars mean: I talk, you shut your damn mouth.

      1. Hey, I like that.

        “What’s this on my nametag? That’s right: VP. That’s Latin for “I talk, you do what I say.”

        Sweet.

    3. Where’s the sash, goddamit? Without the sash, it’s just a bellhop uniform.

    4. A zipper!? Is it a jumpsuit as well?

    5. 4 star sheriff, wow

    6. he needs more epaulets and a really big hat.

  32. Fuck China, obviously Skynet has finally gained self awareness, which I hope means we can now stop making moves about it.

    1. I’m going to make my move.

  33. So I’m spending the day doing our hospital’s annual federally-required ‘competency training’ (yay meaningless regulations!)

    I assume many of you have some similar requirements, doing modules where you learn yet again how to use a fire extinguisher, how to respect different cultures, how to lift a box without hurting your back, and why you shouldn’t post playboy centerfolds on the break room wall.

    I just now did the section on bomb threats. Here’s an actual quote from the module:

    “Look around the area for a box labeled “BOMB” or “TNT”.

    Jeez, who do they think was responsible, Wile E. Coyote?

    Only 2.5 hours of this illumnation left……..

    1. ‘I assume many of you have some similar requirements,”

      You’ve seen Clockwork Orange? They’ve made that whole thing into a Online Module.

    2. “Look around the area for a box labeled “BOMB” or “TNT”.

      “Try to identify scam phone calls. Look for “SCAM” in the caller ID.”

    3. I noticed a change in our mandatory training, too.

      “Code Silver” used to be something like “person in building with a gun”.

      Now, its more like “combative person with a gun.”

      Interesting, that this has moved in a sane direction. Its noticeable, really, as an exception to the general rule for this kind of stuff.

      1. I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Code silver probably now includes someone arguing with a nurse of the ‘food’ they are being served. Thus now ‘combative’ means rude people are included with a guy running around taking pot-shots at people with a glock.

        1. I should have read more carefully.

          Never mind.

    4. “Also, be on the lookout for burglars with black-and-white striped clothes, eye masks, and bags marked “swag.””

  34. NOT YOUR GRAND-DADDY’S CHRONIC = New Super-Weed Face-Eating Monster Drug Scare Reboot!

    “a 24-year-old paramedic in Syracuse, responded to a call on the city’s south side…Rolling up to the scene, he saw a figure lying motionless on the sidewalk. Darbee raked his knuckles across the man’s sternum to assess his level of consciousness. His eyelids fluttered. Inside the ambulance, Darbee hooked him up to a heart monitor, and he jerked involuntarily. The odd reaction puzzled Darbee. Why would the guy recoil from an electrode sticker but not a sternal rub? The driver started for the hospital… Then he heard a sound no paramedic ever wants to hear: the click of a patient’s shoulder harness unlatching. Swiveling around, he found himself eyeball to eyeball with his patient, who was now crouched on all fours on top of the stretcher, growling…. Two days later, 19 more spike overdoses would swamp local emergency rooms, more in one day in Syracuse than the number of overdoses reported statewide in most states for all of April.”

    My view = editorial move to provide ammo for candidates to excuse why they’re not going to promise any federal drug reform.

    1. what a crock of shit. people buy that shit too.

      1. Sadly, it’s not just the press. My niece and her husband are both in the medical field (nurse & EMT), and she was regaling us of all the awful stories of wild, uncontrollable druggies in Mobile. ‘Spice’ is still in vogue there apparently.

        1. “its’ like Crack on Steroids! Its like Meth on Crack!”

          1. “Hey, you got your crack in my meth!”

            1. Obligatory, and probably the single best sketch these guys ever did

    2. Wait, it’s “Spike” now? What happened to spice?

      1. “Spice”? THIS IS SPICE ON BATH SALTS.

        Hell, I do spice, my kids do spice. That shit is nothing. But the kids these days? they huff the spike before the Rainbow Parties and its like Planet of the Apes meets Night of the Living Dead.

  35. This is going to be a lot more fun than I thought.

    Ohio judge refuses to perform gay marriage

    http://www.reuters.com/article…..W920150708

    1. “After McConnell refused, Judge William Connelly, Jr. performed the ceremony for the women…”

      but don’t let this stop the TOTAL FREAKOUT about THEOCRATIC JUDGES!!!

    1. tldr – but apparently Trump got 16% and the non-Trump vote was split among so many other candidates that each of them got under 16%.

      “Trump can’t even get 1/5 of the votes of Tarheel Republicans!”

  36. Feeling good about the NYSE.

    I went short late last week.*

    *This usually precedes a significant uptick in share prices.

    1. In my many years of trading, you could have done a lot worse than using a strategy of doing whatever was the opposite of me.

  37. A word to the wise about judging a book by its cover:

    I have two internships this summer, with the second one paying about 1/3 of what the first one did. I thought that based solely on the pay they offered the first half of summer would be great and the second half would be miserable.

    In reality, it’s the opposite. The first half was boring and while the co-workers were nice, they were not very professional. The second half has been relatively interesting and the co-workers are much closer to what I expected from the first firm.

    Now, I’ll still slack off a bit because they’re paying me a pittance compared to what I’m worth in the marketplace, but I’m happy I took this risk on the lower paying internship.

    1. Thanks for showing your privilege. Now you need to check it. Internships that pay little or nothing only benefit rich people and should be outlawed.

      1. Wait a second… doesn’t that make me oppressed?

        1. You are privileged because you are able to work a low paying internship job.

          However, you’re also oppressed because you’re not making $15 per hour.

          The color of your skin and your gender will determine whether you’re privileged or oppressed.

    2. It’s good you’re enjoying the intangible benefits of your internship. The pay thing won’t matter much in the long term as long as you avoid telling recruiters/future employers what you earned there.

      1. Intangible benefits like a dream date with Bill Clinton?

        1. Shows what you know. Bill Clinton came on my dress and I didn’t even have to work for him.

  38. A designer at Facebook says she redesigned a friends icon because the woman in it “was quite literally in the shadow of the man.”

    I always took it to mean that the woman was running things in the background.

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