Reason Weekly Contest: Give Greece a New Slogan

Last week's winners revealed.

Dreamstime

Welcome back to the Weekly Reason Contest! This week's question is:

Greece could use a capital infusion. Come up with a new slogan for the Greek tourism industry.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to [e-mail]. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "GREECE" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, July 6. Winners will appear Friday, July 10, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason Magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: We asked you to come up with a new name for the F-35 Lightning II, which caught on fire during take-off.

THE WINNER: The Flying Toaster — Tracy Davis, Lawrence, KS

SECOND PLACE: The Pilot's Light — Anne Jablinske, Prescott, AZ 

THIRD PLACE: Effed-35 — Andy Johnson, Baton Rouge, LA

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

FireFly — Jose Jackson III, Houston, TX

F-35 Buttwarmer — Joel Kimball, Howell, MI

The Firebird — Gary D. Giltz, Roanoke Va

Bernie — David Pavlovitch, Lawrenceville, GA

F-35 Phoenix — Trevor Hall, Austin, TX

F- It — Rob Jacobs, Oswego, NY

The Billion Dollar Blowtorch — Bill Perez, Sierra Vista, AZ

The "You Should See the Other Guy" F-35 — Christopher P. Brown, Idlewylde, MD

Pinto II — Peter Tisserand, Crum Lynne, PA

The Flying Edsel — Bob Weber, Culver City  CA 

.F Minus — Justin Davis, Bay City, MI

The F35 Zippo — John Randolph

Comments

[AlmightyJB]

“This is a life of illusion,
a life of control
Mixed with confusion
what’re we doin’ here?”

[sarcasmic]

It’s more than a musical.

[Jerryskids]

Greece: We would do anything for ?uros, but we won’t do that.

[Jerry on the sea]

Greece: even if you bring cash, we will find it when pickpocketing your ass.

[AlmightyJB]

“I could do I could flirt with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes.
Press against them when we dance,
make them think they stand a chance
then refuse to see it through”

[Mr Drew]

Remember Frank Miller’s “300”? We’re still just like that.

[R C Dean]

Oily and underdressed?

[lap83]

I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think give me money

[AlmightyJB]

I fuess I should have entered mine F-YTW.

[commodious spittoon]

Would have had my vote.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

*sigh*

It’s the B-1 all over again.

[CatoTheChipper]

F-EU-TW?

[Sudden]

Well played.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Visit Beautiful Greece (Money Upfront)

[Mr. Paulbotto]

Beware Greeks demanding gifts.

[John C. Randolph]

I got an honorable mention! Yay, me!

-jcr

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Greece, we are vile socialist pigs who exist by the labor of others…but we have nice beaches.

[UnCivilServant]

Isn’t that Cuba?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Not since the end of the Soviet Union and COMECON.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Greece: Land of Spectacular Ruins and Two-thousand Year Old Crumbly Buildings

[John C. Randolph]

This one gets my vote.

-jcr

[Sudden]

I like

[John C. Randolph]

Upon reflection, I apologize to the Zippo company. A Zippo is a high-quality, reliable, and cost-effective product, and associating it with a military-industrial complex boondoggle is quite unfair.

Mea Culpa.

-jcr

[Dances-with-Woodchippers]

“Zimbabwe on the Med!”

[robc]

Winner!

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Greece: We Hate the Persians and the Turks Too

[Crusty Juggler]

Greece: You will still get laid.

[SugarFree]

“Greece: Still Less AIDS Than Haiti”

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Greece: It’s all in the name.

Sorry John L. and Evan! You guys are the best!

[Mike M.]

“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Greece: Islands of the Trojan Debt.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don’t Leave the Greeks Behind

[Crusty Juggler]

Don’t worry, we are still hairy and loud.

[Mindyourbusiness]

I saw what you did there…

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Come visit the birthplace and deathbed of democracy.

(Did you know you can vote yourself largess out of the public treasury?)

[Sevo]

Over on the Guardian comments, a guy is suggesting Greece stay on the Euro and just print some up!
I suggested Drachmas, but make sure there’s room for many zeros.

[Suthenboy]

I have told this story before, but worth telling again.

When I was in Bolivia in the mid ’80s the Bolivian Peso was dropping so fast that the government started printing up 100k bills, then when the Swiss printer would no longer print for them they issued 1M peso checks. Later they simply instructed people to use a pen to add zeroes onto the checks.

True story.

[PapayaSF]

Wow.

[Jimbo]

Wow. I sent one in that’s almost identical. Yours was first though.

[straffinrun]

Our hookers charge by the max ATM withdrawal.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Greece: Europe’s Achilles’ Heel.

[AFSlade]

+1 dipped by a moistened bint
(you’d get my vote, btw)

[Crusty Juggler]

Nice, Rufus.

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

“Thou Shouldst Revere Your Sense of Shame“

[AFSlade]

“Mo’-loan Labe”

[Heroic Mulatto]

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

FATALITY!

[Crusty Juggler]

Well done!

[lap83]

Nice

[Dances-with-Woodchippers]

Beautiful

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

S0ld!! to the man in the funny hat

[BuSab Agent]

I saw my problems and I’ll see the light
We got a lovin’ thing, we gotta feed it right
There ain’t no danger we can go too far
We start believin’ now that we can be who we are – Greece is the word

They think our love is just a growin’ pain
Why don’t they understand? it’s just a cryin’ shame
Their lips are lyin’, only real is real
We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel – Greece is the word
It’s got a groove, it’s got a meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Greece is the way we are feeling

We take the pressure, and we throw away conventionality, belongs to yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believin’ now that we can be who we are – Greece is the word

[AFSlade]

How far the once proud birthplace of democracy has fallen. Their best once stood fast against certain death for freedom, even if just a temporary one, and now they’re groveling about how they’re entitled to someone else’s money.

Fuck, I don’t know why it’s so depressing to me, but it is.

[Suthenboy]

Because we have more moochers in this country than the entire population of Greece?

[Sudden]

That birthplace of democracy voted to execute a man for asking philosophical questions by hemlock thousands of years ago. Greece is not the proud birthplace of democracy, but the cesspool that spawned its hellish existence and continues to prove to this day its emotive and irrational nature.

[Nick W B]

The “democracy”of ancient Greece was more limited than your history teacher may have lead you to believe. It’s economy was based on slavery, which was critical for its political success. The only reason the ruling heads of state had the time to occupy themselves with mattes of state is that slaves did all the grunt work.
At least as far as Athens went. Sparta on the other hand (the other Greek city state we have lots of information on) was not the bunch of independent freedom loving people we see in the movies. In reality they were a fascist society that would have made Hitler wince. Every Spartan was considered property of the state. While in Athens if the father would decide whether or not to keep his infant child or kill it off if it didn’t meet his expectations, in Sparta that decision went to the city elders. So you needed the state’s permission to even exist.

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

If Virginia is for Lovers, Greece is for Debtors.

[B. Woodrow Chippenhaus]

Greece: The Squeaky Wheel of Europe.

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

OT: http://www.multichannel.com/ne…..rld/391856

FCC lackey “told a fiber-to-the-home conference in California this week that the FCC was ready to step in to preempt any more state laws that hampered municipal fiber buildouts and would give cities money to build them if the big telecom companies don’t step up”.

Cities are not sovereigns! They’re creatures and subdivisions of the states. If the states chooses not to empower cities in some area, it is not the role of the federal government to interfere and certainly not to bankroll that interference. Fuck Tom Wheeler with a rusty chainsaw. He needs to be fed head first into the nearest woodchipper.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

Hard to believe that a market that is largely devoid of competition and heavily regulated would perform poorly.

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

Obviously want is needed is moar regulation.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

Greece: Even our economics are greek style.

[SusanM]

“After 2000 years, we still can’t figure out democracy!”

[UnCivilServant]

Given that they gave us the terms for Tyrant and Despot from their own political history, they weren’t under a democracy for most of that time.

[SusanM]

Yeesh. Tough room today.

[lap83]

I like it

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

After 2,000, we still can’t balance a checkbook

[Sevo]

Greece! Proud to be begging!

[sarcasmic]

Greece: Proof that Bastiat was right.

“Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.”

[Mongo]

“You give-a us some money, we give-a you some spa-ghetti.”

(This phrase works with most non-Anglo countries, btw.)

[UnCivilServant]

“Ghetto Spa? Why would I want that?”

[Mongo]

I had a heck of a time trying to get around auto-correct for that very word, UCS.

[Crusty Juggler]

Greece: Spare some change?

[Sudden]

Greece: German money we want…. oo, oo, ooooo.

[Sudden]

Greece: Proving that Democracy is devoid of sense since Socrates’ execution by hemlock.

[Los Federales]

“We’re just Athens for a bit more cash.”

[TheJohnnyAppleseedOfCrack]

Greece: Where beggars CAN be choosers

[Stevie OneLeg]

Greece: Land of Ruin.

[DK]

Greece: another word for lube.

[sarcasmic]

Come grease up our economy!

[F. Woman Logistics, Jr.]

THIS! IS! WELFARE!!

[Aloysious]

winner

[Aresen]

Greece. Still plundering Europe after 2600 years.

[Vampire]

Greece: a slippery slope to slavery.

Greece: Slip sliding our way into your wallet.

Greece: You’ve got a pertty wallet boy.

Greece, Land of the fleece.

Greece: We’re so broke, can we sell your niece?

[Ken Shultz]

We will cut no pensions…before it’s time.

[Medical Physics Guy]

“Crito, tell Asclepius we’re eating his rooster for dinner and can he bring a fresh one tomorrow.”

[F. Woman Logistics, Jr.]

We Gave You Guys Nia Vardalos, Now Give Us Money

[Crusty Juggler]

Greece: We’re the one that you want.

[Lady Dalrymple]

Greece: We’re not Spartan with other peoples money.

[Jerryskids]

Deutschland ?ber alles. (Slogan temporarily on loan from Germany.)

[Drave Robber]

or “Deutschland Ueber Hellas”

[MarkLastname]

“Auferstanden aus Ruinen…” und wieder zum Ruinen.

(From the first line of the German national anthem; translation: Arisen from the ruins… and back to ruins.)

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

300: Fall of an Empire.

[Pan Zagloba]

What Greeks really think

They should have known that this small country can never repay this kind of debt – but they kept feeding us money

Hopefully, this is just trolling the BBC and Germans.

[San Diego]

Please don’t give me anymore money when I ask for it!

[CatoTheChipper]

Beware Greeks bearing bonds of indebtedness.

[Drave Robber]

Bleeding Edge of Europe

[PapayaSF]

I posted this the other day, but it’s worth repeating. The ravages of Greek austerity:

The Kopais Lake Agency was created in 1957 to supervise the draining of the lake and building of a new road. The task was completed that same year, but the agency with full-time staff of 30 (including a driver for the president of the agency) still existed until 2010.

[Norange]

Greece. Beyond Bailout.

An old Greece tourism slogan was “Greece. Beyond Words.” Another was “Live Your Myth In Greece.” Both seem somewhat fitting.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: Proof that the Turks were right all along

[Sudden]

Another thing they have in common with Kim Kardashian.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Ode on a Greek Urn:

You spent too much. You crashed. You burned.
And no one missed your absence.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: THE place who defined ‘what does a schizophrenic beggar look like’?

[creech]

Greece: Robbing Petra to pay Pavlos.

[Quincy chips in]

Ouzo money? You so money!

*passes out*

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: Even our goats are in debt to the Germans

[Trigger Hippie]

Greece: Come for the skewered meats, stay for the lamb kabobs.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Campaign aimed at the rest of the EU;

Come to Greece. You’re paying fr it anyway.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

*sigh*

“Paying for it anyway”

[Russell]

GO TELL THE SPARTANS TO OPEN A PAYPAL ACCOUNT

[SugarFree]

“The Intercrural Isles: It’s More Fun Than You Think”

[The Bearded Hobbit]

“Visit the past in the present and pay for it in the future!”

… Hobbit

[MarkLastname]

“Greece: Visit now! Quickly, before Russia buys us.”

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece, we got it all: greasy diners, greasy fried chicken, greasy pork fat, butter, Crisco, margarine.

Greece – we got all the Grease you could ever imagine.

Greece – we got grease, but we got no money

[Muzzled Woodchipper]

Greece: we won’t even supply the grease.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: Land of the Cyclops, the Olympics and the Government Beggar

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: If you got the money, honey (wink to Germany), I got the time

[Win Bear]

The Greeks are far too socially conservative to put out for money.

(Otherwise, their tourism industry would be doing better and they wouldn’t be in this trouble in the first place.)

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

And yet, they go a-whoring after Germans.

Everyone can be bought. Even the Goats of Greece.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

When the Gods created Greece, they thought of a man. And then They took away reason and responsibility.

[pogi chipperwoodspecialhell]

Visit Greece: We Still Have Toiletpaper!

[Lungshot]

“We fight with our cranks out”

[Yar]

“All we are saying is give Greece a (4th) chance.”

[Yar]

“Greece: you f****d up. You trusted us.”

[kibby]

Hey, finally one of these I can enter!

“Greece: in a permanent state of Orestes development.”

[Win Bear]

I suggest:

“Quod fuimus, estis; quod sumus, vos eritis”

“What we were, you are; what we are, you will be”

Here is an illustration: http://tinyurl.com/nkeh2qc

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: “I have put a gun to my head and I am holding myself hostage. So, Europe, pay the ransom or I’m pulling the trigger!”.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Isn’t anybody gonna help that poor man nation?!

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I have a few bullets I can give him.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Greece: we’re the crazy uncle that Europe shouldn’t have let out of the basement.

[Zaytsev]

Greece, what difference, at this point, does it make?

[Zaytsev]

Greeks grieve,
German greed.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Damn Germans for having a work ethic! How dare they be so self-sufficient!!!?

[Brian]

LOOK WHAT AUSTERITY DID TO US, MAN!

[goneGalt]

Beautiful Beaches and Women, Great Wine and Cuisine…

Greece: The California of Europe

[Napoleon Bonoparte]

(To Germany, with apologies to John Lennon)
“All we are saying
Is give Greece a chance!”

[DblEagle]

Greece: From stoic to stick it

[Bill Adams]

Default is in our stars, not in our selves,
That we are underwater.

[Crusty Juggler]

Thank you for that.