Reason Weekly Contest: Name America's Fighter Jet
Last week's winners revealed.


Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:
A new report by the U.S. Air Force's Accident Investigation Board reveals that the F-35 Lightning II—slated to become America's primary warplane—can (and did) catch on fire during take-off. Please come up with a new name for it.
How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "PLANE" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, June 29. Winners will appear Friday, July 3, right here at Reason.com.
In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!
And now for the results of last week's contest: We asked you to help out Donald Trump by coming up with a presidential slogan for him.
FIRST PRIZE: Happy Days Are Hair Again! — Andy Johnson, Baton Rouge, LA
SECOND PLACE: Income equality now! — Jon Gabso, Boston, MA
THIRD PLACE "Who wants cake?" — Pat Patterson
HONORABLE MENTIONS
The hair apparent. — Nancy McDermott
ISIS: You're Fired! — Dennis Rodkin, Highland Park IL
Barack Obama: You're Fired! — Boaz Blough, Dallastown, PA
Trump 2016: The Classy Choice — Joel Kimball AKA "Almanian," Howell, MI
You need a candidate with experience managing bankrupt organizations. — Brian Beck, Morton Grove, IL
I can do for this country what I've done for my hair. — Louis Bacigalupi- Vancouver, WA
Too crazy to be president… or just crazy enough? — Christopher P. Brown, Idlewylde, MD
Admit It: You're Curious What the White House Would Look Like Covered in Gold Plating — Peter Orvetti, Trumpington, D.C.
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The "tax-raper"
can (and did) catch on fire during take-off
Leaving an incandescent trail across the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's superflamer!
*ducks and runs*
Phoenix. Duh.
Unfortunately, that is already the name of an AAM.
Dammit. I knew there was something but I couldn't remember what, I was just pretty sure it wasn't an aircraft.
The old Phoenix missile was decommissioned when they decomissioned the only platform capable of firing it: the F-14 Tomcat, so the name is again available for use.
Phoenix II. Jesus read a post for once in your life.
The Money Pit.
No Chance.
Pork Barrel Express.
The Lo Panner.
Sopwith Taxes
Almanian gets an honorable mention from Reason and a dishonorable mention from government all in the same month.
Naw, the gummint didn't see fit to dishonor me at all. I JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, DAMNIT!
I feel a little dirty knowing his real name. It's like he's a real person and not just Michigan Man.
Seriously. Especially with a name like Joel.
Joint Suck Fighter.
You'd be hard pressed to find military rank-and-file who are excited about this thing. Mechanics and carrier personnel in particular seem unenthused.
Mig Food.
The Microaggressor
I suggested
F-35 Challenger (too soon?)
F-35 Self-Lighting II
F-35 Bunwarmer
a couple others...
"F-35 Self-Lighting II"
I'd go with that one!
Seconded.
F-YTW
I like this one.
F-35 Sky Chipper
+1 interwebz
*applause*
*polite applause*
"F-35 Sky Chipper" - made of steel, burns like wood.
Firefly
*ducks and runs*
*narrows gaze*
F-35 Porkins
F-35 Porkins
(now with illustration, like my user name)
Nice yellow dress, Kristen.
(I laughed)
General Lee
+1 gay flag
F-35 Igniter.
F-35 Spontaneous Combustion.
F-35 Zod.
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!
F-35 Kneel Beforer.
They probably won't be calling it the Fiscal Hawk.
ZING!
F-35 Beforeburner
F-35 Lightning II: Faster Burners.
F-35 Mig-Chipper
F-35 War Boner
Jurisdiction Sweepstakes Fraudster
I submitted "Flying Toaster"
HT: After Dark
F-35 Fiesta
The F-35 Nova.
F-35 Pacer
F-35 Blaze Trailer
F-35 Shitfire
The F35 Mohammed-Buster
+ Je suis l'oeuf frite (or something like that - it's been 30 ans since I had French)