Rand Paul

Rand Paul blasts PATRIOT Act Surveillance on Senate Floor During Last Minute Debate (UPDATE: USA Freedom Act Moves Forward in Senate)

Section 215 is set to expire tonight. (Update: Wave goodbye to Section 215)


Inside voice!

"Get a warrant!"

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) took to the Senate floor Sunday afternoon as debate wrapped up to reiterate, very, very loudly, his opposition to renewing the mass data collection authorities of Section 215 of the PATRIOT Act. He had argue with Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) over Senate procedures first to get permission to speak. McCain, for his part, argued that the increase in terrorism (he said the Middle East is literally burning) is proof that we need Section 215 "more than ever," despite the lack of evidence that the mass collection under Section 215 actually contributed in any successful efforts to halt terrorist attacks.

Paul noted that "the right to be left alone" is one of our most cherished of rights. And in response to senators like Dan Coats (R-Ind.) saying Americans had been deceived by surveillance opponents, Paul reminded the Senate floor and C-Span viewers, "The head of intelligence agency lied to the American people, and he still works there." And he also reminded the Senate that a federal court has already ruled that Section 215 doesn't actually authorize mass metadata collection about Americans. Paul's position: Want to get records about Americans suspsected of crimes? Get a warrant. Paul is tweeting out some quotes from his speech here.

The Senate is currently in recess after these debates for negotiations. They will return for votes of some sort at 6 p.m. Eastern time. The only real option on the table that can pass tonight and be signed by President Barack Obama immediately is to pass the USA Freedom Act, which adds more restrictions to data surveillance and prohibits the feds from snatching up all records from telecom and Internet companies (More about the Freedom Act here).

I'll update this blog post when action actually happens.

Update (6:25 p.m.): Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) attempted to get two-week extensions for the two other surveillance tools ("lone wolf" and roving wire taps) set to expire. Paul objected and killed the effort, saying that these tools were being used against Americans for reasons other than fighting terrorism. 

Update (6:30): After failing, McConnell has called for reconsideration of the USA Freedom Act, which barely failed to pass in the Senate last time. They are now holding a new cloture vote to try to pass it.

Update (6:45): The cloture vote will pass. It's still being tallied, but has passed the 60-vote threshold. (Sen. Rand Paul voted no. He's on the record as saying the USA Freedom Act doesn't go far enough in reforming surveillance.)

Update (7:10): The cloture vote has passed 77-17. Sen. Rand Paul is now speaking, concerned about the details of the USA Freedom Act, worried that bulk data collection will continue, but with the records at the phone companies rather than at the NSA.

Update: Here's The Hill explaining what happens now for both the USA Freedom Act and Section 215 (and other expiring parts of the PATRIOT Act).

Update (7:45): Probably the final update for the evening. The Senate is now allowing speeches about the USA Freedom Act. Sen. Paul just finished a lengthy speech about his concerns with the act. He wants amendments to be an option, which means this legislation will have to go back to the House for approval. So the three surveillance tools that had a sunset deadline tonight are actually going to sunset. Wave goodbye to Section 215 and mass collection of Americans' telephone metadata.

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.), Paul's partner in pushing forward reform and blocking reauthorization of Section 215, is on the floor now continuing the argument against mass data collection.

Here's Sen. Paul's first speech, courtesy of CNN:

NEXT: PATRIOT Act Renewal: Republicans Suddenly Think Big Government Is No Problemo

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  1. A politician talking about the Constitution and limits on government? Watching Rand talk about freedom makes me hard. Don’t care who knows it.

    1. As an old-timer, I’m continually amazed at the progress libertarians have made in the last 30 years (despite the watering-down of the very term). Go Rand!

      1. The reason they have made progress is probably because the government has grown so absurdly out of control that people are going to push back, and libertarians pretty much lead that philosophical charge.

        1. If only. One party is hopelessly compromised on this count, and the other has embraced statism to an extent that makes ignoring their former anti-authoritarian sentiments effectively painless. The grist between them might be coming into our own as a voter bloc, and maybe one or the other or even both parties finds it comfortable at times wooing independents with promises of a principled stand on the given topic, but that shouldn’t be taken for a popular revolution. The right is filled with paranoiacs and the left would love to get its hands on those powers.

          1. Why must you be the screen door in Epi’s submarine?

            1. To be fair one submarine on the planet can sail the seas with a screen door and it is Epi’s so why would you fuck with his submariner screen door, Pathogen. Man, you need to get the fucking religion of old pirate gods and realize this shit, bro. One day Epi and his fucking screen door submarine will save your goddamn ass at the bottom of the FUCKING ocean and even that John Glenn Cousteau god will look at you and Epi and approve a deep sea ocean screen door save and shit will be ever fucking good on the docks.. ,man.

              1. Agile Cyborg, I want what you are smoking.

                1. lovely man….

        2. SF City Council is. proposing to end ‘sugary sodas’ tomorrow, because the people “just don’t know how sugary sodas cause diabetes, cavities and obesity”.

          So, the Lizard Overlords in the City by the Bay are banning Coke because, well – SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DO IT.

          Damn Coke Brothers!!!

          1. because the SF City Council is so much smarter than everyone else. It’s why their citiy is so affordable and has no derelicts taking up public spaces.

    2. Damn straight, baby.

      I can’t say I agree with Paul on everything. But this is libertarian red meat and I, for one, am helpless to resist.

      I stand with Rand on this one.

  2. I will support this guy if for no other reason than this. It doesn’t matter what else we disagree on. He appears to be a solid supporter of natural rights and that puts him head and shoulders above anyone else running. Hell, over anyone else in Washington.

    1. I totally agree, this alone makes him my guy now and for the forseeable future

    2. Rand Paul did a good thing last night. Not only did he restore some freedoms taken from us but also helped reveal the true colors of the Democrat and Republican party. I’m ashamed of the Republican party who is supposed to stand for freedom and liberty, so they say. The two parties are much alike and the big picture is revealing itself.

      We need to get Obama out of office and not let another Wall St. Warmonger take his place. No Hillary. No Bush? Let’s go for Rand Paul 2016! I’m glad he stood up for Americans but I’m sad because I know how deceitful our government is.

      The middle class is shrinking in Obama-America because Obama is taxing them to oblivion and taking away their healthcare. To be middle class in today’s America is to be poor.

      A large percentage of us are on public welfare programs like food stamps, section 8 housing, and SSI, because of low wages. Health insurance is unaffordable (mine is $450/month? contrast this to my $24/month auto insurance from Insurance Panda? or my $11/month renters insurance from Gotham). Two thirds of young adults have student loans to which they cannot pay back due to lack of good jobs in the community.

      It is a shame what the government of the greatest country in the world has become.

      I like how Rand doesn’t allow himself to be steamrollered by media types and won’t meekly accept their characterizations of his positions like some other Republican doormats of the past.

  3. Does anyone have video of Ron McCain and Paul arguing? That sounds like gold.

    1. Well it isn’t much of an argument: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcBzJZAO6wM

      1. My god, McCain is a world-class dipshit.

        1. I assume the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave sends McCain a big “thank you” bouquet of roses every January 20th.

      2. I don’t know, I enjoyed it. Watching Paul piss off Grassley and McCain made my day. Thanks.

      3. Watch and listen to that idiot Grassley. He couldn’t solve a maze on the back of a cereal box. And these are our supposed Top Men.

        1. Watch and listen to that idiot Grassley. He couldn’t solve a maze on the back of a cereal box.

          I would kill for video of Grassley at breakfast.

          Donna, honey, take a look-here.

          What’s that, Chuck?

          Look at this box here.


          Well, there’s a maze. You see how this goes? You got the X, and you have to draw a line to the treasure chest.

          Charles, how many times…this is the one for the grandkids! I got you the one with bran flakes!

          But that one didn’t have a maze on the back. Now, look here – if I start here, instead of the X…no, that one don’t go.

          Honey, you’re not supposed to draw through those lines.

          None of ’em? Cause I figured they let you go over, I don’t know, I think it’s three lines. Maybe two.

          Charles, honey, I can’t…I don’t know either. But my stories are on, so I have to go. (goes to living room)

          (furrows brow) Nope, that don’t go either. I’ll get it right on the next one.

          1. “The all-American three lines and a box of prosperity act of 2015”, sponsored by Grassley (R-IA).

      4. McCain is insane in the membrane

  4. My favorite tweet of the day so far:

    Stephen Miller @ redsteeze

    Haha, Congress is going to miss Game of Thrones.

    1. Well, one congresswoman has pledged not to watch it anymore anyway.

  5. Rand Mutherfuckin’ Paul!

  6. I saw the clash with McCain , Paul and, the chair.

    It preceded his speech which was pretty good and on target

    1. Did McCain yell “Get off my lawn!”?

      1. No, but he and Grassley did yell at a cloud.

  7. Establishment GOP may well hate him but I’ve seen some love in the comment sections of conservative sites at least on this issue. Seems like the group of people the GOP wants to alienate gets larger all of the time.

    1. If the GOP undermines Paul, they will see Jeb Bush losing heavily against Clinton, proving that Paul might have been right instead.
      If the GOP doesn’t undermine Paul, he might actually win against Clinton.
      Devil’s dilemma.

      1. The GOP doesn’t realize (or care) that “the folks” are mad as hell.

        1. When their campaign bundlers start packing up and moving on to greener pastures.. and younger, hipper cows.. they’ll get the message.

      2. I guess it’s just me, because I don’t see any chatter to the contrary, but I really don’t understand how the congressmen — of either party — should care who is in the White House. Seems like they do better when they’re in opposition. I thought this was especially true in 2008, post Bush, when only a masochist would want to be in charge of the Iraq aftermath.

  8. There should be a word for someone who says something horrifying but is too stupid to realize how their statement sounds to normal people.

    “In Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, the overlords use “sleep teaching” to condition children to submit to their sinister moral values. Now scientists have found a more noble purpose for the technique in a study that suggests deep-rooted biases about race and gender could be “unlearnt” during a short nap.

    The findings appear to confirm the idea that sleeping provides a unique window for accessing and altering fundamental beliefs ? even prejudices that we don’t know we have.

    Simply playing auditory cues while people slept partially undid racial and gender bias, the study found, and the effects were still evident at least a week later.

    Xiaoqing Hu, who led the study at Northwestern University, said the strength of the results were surprising. “The usual expectation is that a brief, one-time intervention is not strong enough to have a lasting influence,” he said.”

    Two thoughts: 1. This is probably bullshit pseudoscience which is grabbing headlines because journalists are hilariously credulous. 2. HOORAY! Government mandated brainwashing for everyone!

    1. There should be a word for someone who says something horrifying but is too stupid to realize how their statement sounds to normal people.

      Pulling a Hillary?

      1. That is the first thing that popped in my head too.

        I think people like The Hildebeast are completely amoral, as in completely incapable of having or understanding morals. She and her ilk say shit like that because they have no idea how it is going to play. They learn what works like a three year old learns how to manipulate adults. Each situation is a learning experience, but they can’t apply what they learned to future situations.

        The Hildebeast and her ilk wake up in a new moral universe every hour.

        1. Non-Eudaimonic.

          I sometimes wonder if these people are p-zombies – outwardly human in appearance and action, but have no internal self. Just a big chinese room.

    2. It isn’t a bad thing if it is used to program children to become libertarians.

      1. Of course – its never a bad then when something is used for ‘good’.

      2. But aren’t children actually born libertarian…and atheist?

    3. The study seems OK, as far as these things go (which is not saying much). And it’s in a well-respected journal.

      The main problem is that the pertinent details are buried far down in The Guardian‘s wrietup.

    4. The findings appear to confirm the idea that sleeping provides a unique window for accessing and altering fundamental beliefs ? even prejudices that we don’t know we have.

      That’s right, the evil germ of RACISM is just festering deep within the psyche of every American! Even among those who don’t actually have any racist thoughts!

      1. To believe that some (white) people are not racist is in itself a racist belief. Submit yourself for sleep reprogramming, comrade.

    5. Well, of course. The study uses the IAT as an instrument. And the IAT is horsepucky.

      1. Cite for that?

        Implicit bias is hideously overinterpreted, but my understanding is that the basic neurobiology is essentially sound.

        1. Maybe your understanding doesn’t go deeply or broadly enough. Neurobiology is mostly sham science circa 2015, even if in 2035 it may legitimize itself with real science

    6. Of course the definition of “racism” is crucial. No doubt the researchers have a PC view. “So, you’re a white person afraid to walk alone at night in a poor black neighborhood? Don’t worry, you awful racist, we’ll brainwash your racism right out of you! Soon you’ll be no more afraid of a group of poor black male teens wearing gang colors in a dark parking garage than you are of a group of elderly Asian women in a shopping mall! You’ll be free of racist assumptions!”

      That’ll end well.

    7. Look Mrs Tiny, if little Timmy won’t take his government mandated nap in pre-school the school will be forced to report this to CPS.

  9. This is the most exciting thing I have seen in Congress in like forever, a sitting Senator outraged at the violation of our rights by the president and the FBI and the weenies who wouldn’t know a principle if they fell over it. This man is doing the right thing and he should be rewarded with the gratitude of the people, but he’s being ripped apart by the party of freedom and Constitutionally limited government. What the hell is wrong with this country?

    1. “…he’s being ripped apart by the party of freedom and Constitutionally limited government.”

      Who is this party of which you speak? I have never heard of them. I may want to join.

      1. I believe it is called the Libertarian Party 😀 But I deny the first part took place 😛

  10. “Get a warrant!”

    Do what now?

    1. That’s some sweet sweet pillow talk right there.

      1. Yeah…..i’m getting hot….

    2. “Get a warrant!”

      But.. that’ll take forever, even with our rubber stamping shills an efficient court.. can’t we just skip all that bullshit..

      1. Cops are going to have to expand their list of battlecries.




  11. “The only real option on the table that can pass tonight and be signed by President Barack Obama immediately is to pass the USA Freedom Act, which adds more restrictions to data surveillance and prohibits the feds from snatching up all records from telecom and Internet companies”

    They don’t care if what they’re doing is illegal.

    Obama doesn’t care if what he’s doing is illegal, and the Republicans in Congress don’t care.

    Oh, and the mainstream press doesn’t care if what Obama and the Republicans are doing is illegal.

    The only people who care about this stuff are libertarians, and since we’re neither on the side of the Republican opposition to Rand Paul nor on the side of Barack Obama, no one else understands why we care.

    When we say we care about the Fourth Amendment, the Republicans don’t understand why we’re sticking up for Muslims and terrorists.

    When we say we care about the Fourth Amendment, the Democrats don’t understand what that has to do with racism or gay rights.

    Neither side cares about whether the data collection is unconstitutional, and they both only care about breaking the law–if only one side is breaking the law and the other side isn’t.

    If they pass nothing and there were no legal basis for collecting data, they’d just keep doing it anyway. The only way the data collection will stop is if Rand Paul is elected President.

    1. P.S. Neither side cares whether collecting all that data is popular either–since they’re both in favor of collecting the data.

      They don’t are whether it’s constitutional.

      They don’t care whether it’s legal.

      They don’t care whether it’s popular.


      1. It is surprising that they don’t object to having their own communications captured though.

        Either they have an undisclosed promise not to track them or they are so far gone they can’t object loudly without going to jail themselves.

        1. “It is surprising that they don’t object to having their own communications captured”

          Why, what have they got to hide? Why do you oppose this? Are YOU hiding something? You know that by your selfish and criminal act of keeping things private you’re letting the terrorist win…

        2. It is surprising that they don’t object to having their own communications captured though.

          Why is that surprising?

          If I control the access to and recording of communications, I don’t care if the access and recording also extends to my own communication, because I can authorize redaction and/or erasure of whatever shows up in my communications.

          I’m constantly amazed at people who think this program hurts existing politicians and/or their minions. If you’re authorizing the program with your support, it’s not being used against you. It’s being used against the plebes who aren’t in a position to vote on the program or its modification/continuation.

  12. Not to harsh your collective buzz, but……

    The Patriot Act will almost certainly be renewed later this week, regardless of what Paul wants. If any terrorist attack happens during the time when the Patriot Act was expired, or even after it expires, Rand Paul will be blamed. By both right and left. He will have essentially no allies left to protect him, meaning that the burgeoning ranks of low-info Americans will assume he really is responsible.

    Even people in Congress who are friendly with him now will then have to work to scrub the odor of that association off their record, to keep it from being used against them.

    So, for this to be a good idea for Rand Paul to do, he has to assume there will never be another terrorist attack. Seems like a losing bet to me.

    1. Yeah, Rand Paul is just exposing the other candidates for the Republican nomination as a bunch of traitors to the Constitution.

      And it’s not just important because it’s principled.

      It’s also important that someone called the flag waving traitors out!

      I hope he actually calls them cowards because that’s what they are.

      Any coward that would rather sell the Constitution short just because they’re afraid of terrorists has no business being the President of the United States.

      1. In politics esse est percipi. What matters is not what is true but what is believed true. And it’s Rand Paul who’s going to be believed to be a traitor, regardless of the reality of things.

        1. What about your Bo handle, Tulpa? Will people still believe it’s not you?

        2. We’ll see.

          In the Soviet Union, it was, “blah, blah, blah” right up until the wall came down.

          The illusion has to conform to reality eventually.

          Here take a look at this poll from six months after we invaded Iraq:


          You can fool 70% of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all of the time. But you have to come up with a new delusion every so often because the old ones wear out eventually. I’m hoping monitoring the electronic communications of 350 million people is starting to wear out. We should certainly try to reward people like Rand Paul for breaking ranks. Those are the kinds of inflection points we should be looking for–where it suddenly becomes okay to start questioning these things around the Thanksgiving table and still be a Republican.

    2. It’s a gamble, but one that could pay off big-time. If nothing else, it’s a clear and potent example of someone keeping their word in politics and that alone gives him some gravitas. More importantly, it’s going to keep him in the news with a very high profile while it gets sorted out.

      Come on, is anyone talking about Cruz or Rubio right now?

      1. No. But the primaries are 7 months away, and I fear Dr. Paul is going to pay dearly for his current notoriety during that time.

        1. Hey Tulpa, do you think you’ll ever understand what a reputation is, or why yours is shit? No, probably not, because you’re a fucking moron. Right?

          1. I don’t know if its tulpa or not (and don’t care)

            but get a load of this

            “Goosnarl|2015/05/31 18:35:35|#5334720

            “”this is in direct contradiction to your claim that all “foreseeable elections are Dems to lose””

            ….No, it’s not. If Hillary does not get the nomination she is not the Dem whose election it is to lose.

            Sanders gets a shitload of love on the left. As for O’Malley, nobody knew who Bill Clinton was in May 1991.

            The First Lady could fundraise in a day what Rand Paul gets in a year. There’s a 60% chance she enters the contest if Hillary folds early. Right now all that’s holding her back is fear of Clinton retribution.”

            git that? Michelle is the Dems secret weapon that can steal the election at any moment.

            Big Brains at work here.

            1. Even more than his tone, the “gorram” is the dead giveaway. He’s incredibly easy to spot when he’s typing in his “real” voice.

              1. Wagging finger + nagging contrariness + ‘too clever by half’ = Tulpa

        2. Bull. Everybody already knew his stated position. All he is doing now is showing that he practices what he preaches.

        3. If Rand was going to pay he already would have. Not standing against the Patriot act would have been poison to his whole raison d’etre.

    3. “So, for this to be a good idea for Rand Paul to do, he has to assume there will never be another terrorist attack. Seems like a losing bet to me.”

      This would be like arguing that the only time it’s a good idea to complain about police abuses is if you assume there will never be another crime.

      1. Not even remotely analogous. You can do better.

        1. Hi, Tulpa.

          Only took me two posts to notice it was you this time. Continuing your annoying tendency of switching handles again I see. Still not pathetic or anything.

          1. And it’s exactly analogous, you’re just a moron.

          2. Someone with more interest than me ought to write a program to analyze all comments of all articles and show specific handles; it would be interesting to see how Tulpa’s handles zoom and collapse as he switches.

            1. A Tulparithm.. Four million lines of Basic..

              1. 10 BE A DIPSHIT
                20 GOTO 10

                1. Tulpaloopa, round and round it goes.

    4. Fuck off, Tulpa. Tired of your Bo handle or something?

      1. OT, but:

        What do you as a Clevelander think about Johnny Manziel’s latest fuckup?

        1. Johnny’s job is to make a spectacle of himself. He’s doing a fantastic job.

        2. “C’mon, Meat. Throw that fastball right through my chest.”

    5. “If any terrorist attack happens during the time when the Patriot Act was expired, or even after it expires, Rand Paul will be blamed.”

      And what, I wonder, are the chances that that will happen.

      1. If the Top Men want it to be so – 100%.

      2. yeah me too.

        Suddenly “work place violence” like the Fort Hood killings will now be labeled by it’s true name “terrorism” at least until RP is marginalized.

        1. This.

          The press will probably start portraying total picayune shit as the work of terrorist masterminds who are enabled by the radical anarchist ideals of Rand Paul.

          It’s inevitable. It’s just a fact of life that at least every few years, someone sets off a bomb, perhaps killing a lot of people. The next time that happens, the surveillance state bootlickers are going to heap the blame onto Rand Paul.

    6. Oh FFS the Patriot Act has only been getting less popular even after the Boston Bombing and events like it. Rand will be and has been blamed anyway.

    7. So, for this to be a good idea for Rand Paul to do, he has to assume there will never be another terrorist attack. Seems like a losing bet to me.

      Or, you know, a good bet – as there hasn’t been, like, *one* terrorist attack in the last 10 years and the metadata collection program did nothing to prevent it.

      1. Christ – *has been, like, one . . .*

  13. McCain. Figures. What a lunatic.

    1. Rand Paul will be the reason John McCain finally “goes postal” on the Senate floor.

      Watch. Wait. It will be entertaining.

  14. Today in bullshit lies about victimization:

    “A simple request for an unopened can of Diet Coke on a United Airlines flight left Tahera Ahmad in tears.

    A Muslim chaplain and director of interfaith engagement at Northwestern University, Ahmad, 31, was traveling Friday from Chicago to Washington for a conference promoting dialogue between Israeli and Palestinian youths. She was wearing a headscarf, or hijab.

    For hygienic reasons, she asked for an unopened can of soda, she said. The flight attendant told her that she could not give her one but then handed an unopened can of beer to a man seated nearby. Ahmad questioned the flight attendant.”

    Clearly racism.

    “Shocked, Ahmad asked other passengers if they had seen what happened.

    A man sitting across the aisle turned to her and yelled, “You Muslim, you need to shut the f— up,” she said.”

    SHIT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN. The idea that anyone on a crowded plane could yell ‘you Muslim, you need to shut the fuck up’ without immediately being lambasted by flight attendants and other passengers is absurd.

    How many obvious lies like this have to be told before people stop believing them?

    1. For hygienic reasons, she asked for an unopened can of soda, she said. The flight attendant told her that she could not give her one but then handed an unopened can of beer to a man seated nearby. Ahmad questioned the flight attendant.

      Err, first time flying?

      Yeah, yeah, I know, lying liar.

    2. How many lies? Limitless, really. So long as people like being furious about the outrage du jour, especially when most don’t bother to research further, we’ll have this problem.

    3. I sincerely hope she henceforth carries a 12-pack of Diet Coke around Northwestern for the next 12 months. That’ll teach ’em!!

    4. +1 grab its motherfucking Islamic leg

    5. “A man sitting across the aisle turned to her and yelled, “You Muslim, you need to shut the f— up,” she said.”

      Yeah, that doesn’t ring true to my ear either.

      Sometimes people hear what they want to hear.

      Certainly, going through security to get on a plane can make anybody feel like a terrorist, and if you were wearing a hijab through that nightmare, and then someone asked you on the plane if you were going to eat those crappy airline peanuts, Allah only knows what you might imagine they said.

      But, “You Muslim”?

      People don’t actually talk like that.

      1. He also snatched her hijab and blew his cisnormative nose in it whilst simultaneously cramming a greasy patriarchal pork sandwich (server from a dirty ashtray) down her throat. She blocked that macro-aggression out in her mind, but will have a full recall of events if this story doesn’t gain any traction, and garner sufficient outrage…

      2. When is the last time you flew on a plane?

        Security is inconvenient and annoying but rarely nightmarish except on philosophical grounds.

        And who the hell serves peanuts anymore.

        And if you don’t think people say awkward, ignorant things to strangers, especially demonized minorities, then you should leave your bubble more often.

    6. She said that the man told her: “Yes, you know you would use it as a weapon. So shut the f— up.”

      She did.

      1. Use it as a weapon that is.

      2. How, exactly, does one use an unopened can of diet coke as a weapon? If you can’t get the diet coke out and force someone to drink it, it is harmless, right?

        1. I meant in the metaphorical sense.

        2. How, exactly, does one use an unopened can of diet coke as a weapon?

          Throw it, but there is a problem. If you throw the unopened can of Diet Coke, you just threw your weapon away.

          1. Unless you can throw a 90+mph fast ball with deadly accuracy, it is pointless. You might bloody a single nose, and that is a big maybe.

            No matter, I was making a joke about the horrible abomination known as ‘diet coke’. See, the can is unopened so the poisonous swill is safely contained. It is funnier now that I explained it, isn’t it?

            1. See, the can is unopened so the poisonous swill is safely contained. It is funnier now that I explained it, isn’t it?

              Oh. Maybe I should drink less while posting.

            2. Put it in a sock and go Segal on people? I mean, I don’t buy it, but I give way to no one in my low expectations from flight staff and airlines in general.

              1. Then the can breaks and you have a wet sock.

                1. Not before all of the pilots died, C.T… and it would’ve been all Rand’s fault!

              2. Maybe she carried on some Mentos.

        3. She is using it as a weapon by blasting her victimhood across the intertubes.

          Those racist airline attendents wouldn’t give the poor Mooslem an unopened can because she might hit someone with it.

          BUT they gave some other ( white) person an unopened can !

        4. When I was a young teenager a kid on my hockey team slammed an unopened pop can into the forehead/eye of a kid on the opposing team coming out of the rink. It didn’t kill the other kid or anything, but it certainly didn’t look very enjoyable for him.

          In an even crazier postscript that teammate ended up dead about 8 years or so later, shot execution-style while coming out of his apartment building. Real light-hearted stuff, I know 😉

          1. Sure, but was it a diet coke?

            1. More importantly, was it diet Passover Coke?

        5. “How, exactly, does one use an unopened can of diet coke as a weapon? If you can’t get the diet coke out and force someone to drink it, it is harmless, right?”

          The ring, and the tab. The tab is pretty sharp.

    7. In other SJW news, I agree with Popehat that (unless it’s parody), #GiveYourMoneyToWomen was fantastically ill-conceived.

      1. Not sure why there’s a comma.

        1. Putting a comma after “that”, and removing the parentheses, would make it grammatically correct. I think.

          (German has even wackier rules for using the comma. Don’t ask me to explain, because they defy explanation.)

          1. Yes, I remember new that I started out intending to delimit “unless it’s parody” with commas, but switched to parentheses, thinking it would flow better.

            1. Quit nitpicking your self-

              especially when you spell *now* as *new* in your apology.

              We knew what you meant and reasonable people aren’t going to find fault with your grammer or spelling on a Reason post.

              It’s about ideas not an English class.

              1. That’s two drinks!

            2. Damn you, autocorrect. I never fucked up comments till I started typing on the tablet and phone. Now I just assume everyone’s on a device and for people whose posts are otherwise correct, I assume it’s the device.

          2. Meh – it’s not that hard. The big difference is they always use a comma to separate clauses. If you’re a grammar geek like me, it makes perfect sense.

      2. I refuse to believe that wasn’t invented as a joke. It has to be.


        I mean come on:

        “#GiveYourMoney is a global movement. We are unifying women to a cause that slices to the heart of women’s issues: access to capital and resources. This is a global movement to be compensated for our years and lifetimes of unpaid emotional, physical, sexual, and intellectual labor. You treat us like resources and then get mad when we realize how to turn that back on you. Monetizing the male gaze.”

        There’s just no way I can believe this isn’t meant to be a parody. It’s posted on Tumblr and everything.

        1. You treat us like resources and then get mad when we realize how to turn that back on you.

          Yeah, it has to be a parody. This is too self-aware.

        2. I certainly hope it is parody. But supposedly this is the first use, and the account doesn’t appear to be a sockpuppet at first blush (reverse image searches of the photos people took from her feed don’t come up with anything — though they could of course just be friends-only Facebook photos or something — and it’s not brand new [someone posted a screencap of a tweet from March]).

          1. So it’s become a “thing” (not that I’d ever heard of it before) in just two days?

            1. Bro, do you even trend?

        3. “Monetizing the male gaze.”


        4. Parody is on the verge of extinction.

          1. Poe’s Law, but I think it’s real.

      3. Well, it’s not like men don’t already do that. Duh.

        1. That’s what I thought. Isn’t that what divorce court is for?

      4. #GiveYourMoneyToWomen

        Parody or not, Elliot Spitzer has been retweeting this like mad.

        1. Bill Clinton is praying it doesn’t get a lot of attention.

    8. I’m personally at the point where wolf has been cried so many times by SJWs and “special classes” that I automatically assume anything like this is a lie. Because none of them ever pan out to be true, and most are actively proven false, from Jackie to campus Koran desecration to whatever. Not only have they proven themselves to be wolf-criers, they’ve proven they will actively deceive and fabricate. And I think that a lot of people are actually coming to that realization.

      There’s a reason why there is an entire fable/story about constantly crying havoc when there is none and what happens to your credibility when you do.

    9. Not saying it’s true, but I’ve heard people say far worse things on airplanes than that. Some people are assholes and most normal people are not going to bother opposing them.

      That said, it’s pretty obvious why the attendant refused to give her a free unopened soda (they don’t give you a full can for fear of running out), while they sell the beer.

      1. Some people are assholes, Tulpa, it’s true. You’re better than them, though: you’re an asshole and a moron. You’re a double threat!

      2. Your insights are as banal as always, Tulpa. Do you ever tire of being an idiot? It’s got to be tiring, right? I mean, with how hard you work at it…

      3. I’ve never heard of the unopened can rule. I often ask for the whole can, they fill a glass, and give it to me with the can.

        I am wondering about the “sanitary reasons” thing. It’s not like the stewardess is sticking her finger into the can when she opens it. They want to wipe the top first? OK, then why not ask for that? Or ask to do that?

    10. A few things do stand out with this.

      First beer is not distributed freely on flights nor is it distributed in bulk. Coke is free. On many flights you would be much more likely to get a can of beer than a can of soda.

      Being United specifically or any american airline in general ita easy to believe the apathetic attitudes of the flight crew.

      Lastly being American people aren’t as afraid to yell ignorant nonsense in public as they in other cultures. They are however hesitant to get involved with people making a scene especially in a security conscious environment like an airplane.

      I dint know if this story is true just that your reasons for disbelieving it seem to be rooted in denial rather than reality.

      Never underestimate the crudeness, cowardice or stupidity of the public.

  15. I love watching these republicans try and attack Rand. Shows us who they really are, big government authoritarians. Not that it wasnt common knowledge before….

    1. With shamefully few exceptions, those on both sides of the aisle are authoritarians.

      1. Individuals rise against the state when it aggros human rights. Never parties. Ever. This is why the state and parties hate individuals. Individualism is acid flung on face of powerful collectives seeking ownership of mainstream minds. Only in pure organized totalitarian states like Saudi Arabia or China can the individual be broken or destroyed.

        Most modern state are structured to attract highly-educated Hegelians. Great young minds flowing like brooks from the institutions of higher learning are hired breathlessly into the vast and creeping American state. These zealots are anti-individualist and eager to foster the state and, unwittingly, Hegel’s state-centric philosophy which is largely responsible for decades upon decades of state enlargement and deification.

        Some quotes from Hegel:
        “The Universal is to be found in the State.”
        “The State is the March of God through the world.”
        “The State must be comprehended as an organism… To the complete State belongs, essentially, consciousness and thought. The State knows what it wills… The State is real: and… true reality is necessary. What is real is eternally necessary… The State exists for its own sake… The is the actually existing, realized moral life.”

        1. Some quotes from me: -)
          “The State is an ass”.
          “Government is force. Its only purpose is to prohibit or compel; coercion is its core competence and violence its tool.”

          1. Only Libertarians give Scarecrow Repairmen an ear.

            1. “Dems, showmen , republicans, lend me your ears….”

        2. Hegel sounds much less coherent than Agile.

  16. Turtleman asks for a two-week extension to the Lone Wolf provision and the Roving Wiretap provision.

    Paul objects. Turtleman continues talking about some bullshit or another for what seems like an eternity.

  17. Rand has the largest cock in the senate and the congress and his cock is clearly more massive than the bbc running the country.

    1. For some reason, I don’t imagine Obama as a BBC. Maybe because of the sense that Michelle has his balls in a jar.

  18. Calling roll on whether to close debate on USA Freedom? Not clear on the rules here.

    1. They are reconsidering their failed cloture vote from two Fridays ago.

      1. First pass through roll and it’s 33-3.


        1. 54-10.


          1. Fuck. Just passed 60.

            1. Wyden was one of the ones who defected. That disappoints me.

              1. So, after progs spent the last week saying but Wyden was part of it, too, the guy went and sold Paul down the river.

                Warren is of course an aye.

            2. Looks like Rand dodged a bullet. The people who donated to his campaign based on his pledge to force expiration of the Patriot Act are going to be pissed though.

              1. Is this like the time the department dodged a bullet when it didn’t give you tenure? Remember that? Remember that time you didn’t get tenure and had to leave?

              2. Tulpa, your political brilliance is unparalleled. I can’t understand how you aren’t running Paul’s campaign for him right now. Do you watch Veep?

                You’re Jonah.

                1. Jonah is much funnier. He also has better nicknames. The wheel greaser. The puppet master. Poon slayer?when he’s online.”

              3. Just like the GOP dodged a bullet by nominating Romney right?

              4. Never mind, he didn’t dodge a bullet. The act is expiring at midnight anyway as they need to vote on amendments.

                When Rand Paul gets skewered because of this foolish series of actions, this thread will be pointed out by me or someone like me.

                1. You hear that, everyone? Rand Paul hasn’t heard the last from Tulpa. YOU’LL ALL WISH YOU’D PAID ATTENTION TO TULPA, YOU’LL SEE

                2. Go fuck yourself, Probable Tulpa.

                  Anyway, Wyden has redeemed himself by spending a shit ton of time rapping with Sen. Heinrich about the shittiness of Section 215.

                  1. Anyway, Wyden has redeemed himself by spending a shit ton of time rapping with Sen. Heinrich about the shittiness of Section 215.

                    Talk is cheap.

                    His vote condemns him.

                3. me or someone like me


                4. “Someone like me”== one of my sockpuppets

  19. Rand Paul just makes me sad. I mean, he’s right, and I agree with him completely on just about everything but…

    Oh, he isn’t a lawyer (just this instant checked). That’s good. (ophthalmologist?)

    But he isn’t an economist. He is no more qualified skill wise to run a country than I am to perform ophthalmology.

    Having the right prejudices is better than not, but it still isn’t having the right *skills*. So maybe he runs for president and wins. But past performance is no guarantee of future results. I can’t trust him to not do something batshit. Which is superior to trusting others *to* do batshit things (thanks Obama, et al…) but it isn’t enough.

    1. “He is no more qualified skill wise to run a country”


      Obama never even had a real *job*.

      putting your criticism in context = who exactly do you think DOES have the skills to “run a country*”?

      (which isn’t even what a president does… but put that aside)

    2. Have we had any economist presidents?


    3. “But he isn’t an economist. He is no more qualified skill wise to run a country than I am to perform ophthalmology.”

      I refuse to believe you’re a real person since a grand total of 0 real people could possibly believe that only by getting an economics degree would you be qualified to become president.

      Alan Grayson has an econ degree. Alan Grayson.

      Alan. Grayson.

      1. Greenspan/Bernanke 2016.

        1. What about this woman? You sexist or something?

          Super banker lady

          That is a woman, isn’t it?

          1. As a Floridian, I will swear on a stack of bibles that that is a picture of Charlie Crist.

            1. LOL Holy shit.. Perhaps he changed more than one “party affiliation”.

        2. Don’t give Paul Krugman any ideas.

    4. But he isn’t an economist. He is no more qualified skill wise to run a country than I am to perform ophthalmology.

      The president is not supposed to “run the country”. Sheesh, talk about missing the gorram point.

      1. Hey Tulpa, so have you given up on claiming that Bo graduated in the fall? That was a major fuckup, you know. But that’s kind of what you do, since you’re, you know, a moron and stuff.

        1. What did he graduate from? From being stupid to being even more stupid?

          1. The Bo handle started claiming it graduated from law school a few weeks ago. Then it started claiming it passed the bar. When it was pointed out to it that the bar is only offered in February and July and requires proof of graduation to take, he started claiming that he graduated in the fall.

            From being stupid to being even more stupid?


            1. It’s funny to see the same guy who apparently got taken in by an obvious sock of mine last week thinks he has this all figured out…One thing that seems probable to me is Warty (among other things) doesn’t know much about colleges at all.

              1. “an obvious sock of mine last week “

                I missed that. Which one?

                1. Good question. Do you think he’s talking about the sock that was calling itself “Bo Cara Esq” without the period?

                2. Tulpa has been a Bo sock, all the long.. Bwwahahahahaha!

            2. Again, I’ll remind folks that impersonating a lawyer, that is claiming to pass the bar when you haven’t, is a misdemeanor in a multitude of states. And if it gave anything approaching “legal advice” under that handle … well, we’re looking at a felony pretty much everywhere.

              Just keep that in mind.

              1. As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won’t need much, just a tiny taste.

              2. Again, I’ll remind folks that impersonating a lawyer, that is claiming to pass the bar when you haven’t, is a misdemeanor in a multitude of states.

                If you were attempting to be paid for legal services, or threatening someone with a lawsuit, it could be. Randomly opining in a blog comment section, not so much.

                And if it gave anything approaching “legal advice” under that handle … well, we’re looking at a felony pretty much everywhere.

                You are so full of shit. Unfortunately, that’s not a felony.

                And no, this is not Bo “forgetting to change handles”, this is me.

                1. Hey Tulpa, remember that one time you were a pathetic loser? Oh, wait, my bad, that was your entire life. OOPS

        2. Warty you’re pretty fucking good at this.

          I’ve watched you pick off the Tupla pretty quick and accurately.

          What about Shawn Wilson ?

          1. So you haven’t fucked off after all, Tulpa. That’s good. So, tell me, what was your original handle on here?

            1. HaHaHaHa

              Are you getting a little paranoid there Warty ?

    5. The amount of economics a person needs to run a country is about equal to the amount of opthalmology a person needs to blink.

      1. It doesn’t hurt for the President, or anyone else, to at least have a basic understanding though.

        Something we are lacking in many areas of US society.

        It is no longer taught in most school systems.

        Home economics should be mandatory for highschool students as well.

    6. So, what constitutes qualification to run the country? Name someone more qualified, and in what respect are they better qualified?

      Also, past performance is the best predictor of future performance.

      1. Janet Yellen.

        Imagine how much we could get done if the president and federal reserve chair were the same person.

        1. Hey Tulpa, that’s a great idea! Maybe the same person could be both, but they could change handles when they supposedly switched roles! It would fool everyone, just like you’re doing now!

          I honestly don’t know why you don’t have a Nobel Prize yet.

        2. Hey, Tulpa, what was your original handle? Was it cunnivore? How many handles have you run over the years?

          1. I have a vague memory of cunnivore posting here. I hope that Gary Gunnels/Hakluyt/Jean Bart weren’t Tulpa. That would ruin some good memories.

            1. Gunnels. Wow that is a blast from the past.

              1. I lurked for a very long time before I posted. A very long time.

            2. I always thought cunnivore and shriek were the same person, I admit I missed the Tulpa connection.

              And I was calling Bo “blue Tulpa” within days.

              1. Tulpa was crowing about how he’s been fooling us a decade with his different handles, ever since way back when he was cunnivore. I hadn’t expected that.

                1. What’s amazing is he is using more names now, with registration, than before.

                  I miss using joke handles.

                  1. Maybe, maybe not. It seems likely now that he was the griefer responsible for the Bad Times, and eventual registration, not Mary.

                    1. Somebody was spoofing my handle for a while, it didn’t seem like Mary, I wonder if it was him/her.

                    2. Him/her being Tulpa

                    3. I doubt that. Only Mary had that level of intense insanity.

                    4. “he was the griefer responsible for the Bad Times, and eventual registration, not Mary.”

                      If you go back to late 2013-early 2014, the Unitroll theory was discussed in detail, and i think everyone agrees that “mary” (aka Kizone Kapow or whatever) is most definitely a crazy woman from texas or something that bombed the place for a year or two and now has something of a psycopathic vendetta that she reminds everyone else on the planet about.

                      Tupla, by contrast, is just a perma-troll here, like Joseph Campell’s “Douche With a Thousand Faces”

                    5. Apparently Mary is NOT Kizone Kaprone. I remember that being discussed.

                    6. Tulpa WAS Mary.

                      It is all so clear now.

                    7. Finkel is Tupla. Tulpa is Finkel.

                    8. No, Mary was a specific person. I don’t think she was Tulpa. Once she became intolerable and got doxxed, which I had a small hand in, she made a YouTube video condemning us by our handles. She later made some appearances under other handles, but seems to have gone away. She had a distinct style, and I don’t think Tulpa is connected. Plus, Tulpa has had little or no animus towards me, which I don’t think Mary has the self-control to pull off.

                      Frankly, though, I dislike both incessant handle-switching and the discussions it generates. Please stick to the topics, or something close to them, and avoid personal attacks. Thank you.

                2. It gave his life purpose.. meaning..

        3. I have no response to this except to laugh.

      2. Also, past performance is the best predictor of future performance.

        Not with dice.

        1. Really? So, dice produce results based on pure chance on one throw and on the next….?

          Every throw of a die is exactly the same; a number between one and six with equal odds on any given number.

          1. A die has no memory.

            1. Did you know that some of the oldest dice ever found, from ancient Egypt, were found to be loaded? Ha.

    7. So, you’ll be voting for Paul Krugman, right?

      The only thing a president needs to know about economics is that the more you keep government from interfering in markets, the better for the economy.

      1. Who cares if they were an economist? What I want to know is if they ever worked in a bank. That’s what really matters.

        1. You want a banker for president? Or just a bank teller?

          1. Working anywhere in a bank is enough for them to collect the required skills to be president just through osmosis.

            1. A bank guard?

      2. +1 Vetinari’s pimp cane.

        1. Hamster Mama Pimp Cane… Hamster of Doom has pimp and if you need Doom to visit your butthole with scritchy-scratchy claws of scrabbling delight for a mere few moments this can be procured from Hamster Mama Pimp Cane for exactly 125 bucks. Hamster of Doom can penetrate your entire ass with his entire body for a fucking paltry sum and the bitch will make your ass tunnel feel like Jesus slathered it up with Jesus grease and fucked it for days with Jesus cock….

          Hamster Mama Pimp Cane and her stalwart agent of pleasure her maestro of ass Hamster of Doom.

          Where asses feel like Jesus fucked them.

    8. Yes, as far as I am concerned you need to know economics (specifically public policy analysis) to be president. Why? Because government policy is the application of economic forces to society. If you don’t know what those forces will do, you get ObamaCare, and a million other bad policies.

      Bad government policies kill people. And I don’t mean wars. From gun control to CAFE standards to the FDA the US government has killed more Americans via bad policies than all the enemies in all the wars the US has ever fought, combined.

      No, that doesn’t make every economist president material (Krugman is an ass) but not knowing is a definite disqualification.

      1. Shawn Wilson|5.31.15 @ 7:42PM|#
        “[…]No, that doesn’t make every economist president material (Krugman is an ass) but not knowing is a definite disqualification.”

        Unfortunately, that leaves us with no qualified candidates.
        But, hey, maybe that isn’t so bad…

        1. Well, if an economic background is a new qualification for being the president, someone should tell the Nobel committee so they can get Hillary’s Nobel Prize for Economics ready in time.

          1. “[…]someone should tell the Nobel committee so they can get Hillary’s Nobel Prize for Economics ready in time.”

            They need to round up the folks who handed Obo that embarrassment.

      2. Because government policy is the application of economic forces to society.


  20. Things You Did Not Realized Were Lacking In Your Life:

    Beyonce and the DuckTales theme song

    1. Ducktales was a good show.

      1. I’m no fan of Disney and its sterile pollution but Ducktales was good. I’d blow my young cum on a stolen Hustler and relax to Ducktales.

        1. Tailspin, and Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers were good too.

          1. I remember those. I ought to download them for my kidlets. They’re working their way through DuckTales right now, and we just finished up the Gummi Bears before that.

            1. I wish that shit was in HD. Sucks to have big screens and high tech everywhere playing this old stuff and it looks all creepy because its grainy. Not to me but the ‘hamster cubs’.

            2. I remember watching “Gummi Bears”, but it never made an impression on me like DuckTales, TailSpin, and Chip & Dale.

              1. I was reading ‘Weakfoot’, ‘My side of the mountain’, and Robert Howard. I hated cartoons.

                Yeah, I am that fucked up. Wanna fight about it?

          2. I grew up mostly poor and in a religious cult. I am now atheist and well-off but my access to additional cultural material in the fucking 80’s was sorely fucking limited. For Christ’s sake I had to fucking listen DJ Jazzy FUCKING Jeff with my radio under my pillow in high school or I’d have to hold my ankles and get my fucking ass whipped with a leather belt until I was 17.

            For those of you fucking millennial males who’ve never had your fucking ass whipped with a goddamn leather belt for fucking with family authoritarianism. Here’s the goddamn deal: when you get 10-15 on the ass your dad WILL fucking miss and your balls WILL get some leather smashdown. To wind this down: you get an ass AND ball whipping. I’m still alive and thriving but fuck that religious motherfucking Christian legalism.

            1. I never got the belt, but I saw Seventh-Day Adventists in action thanks to relatives who were Seventh-Day Adventists. Yeah, fuck them.

              1. Seventh-Day Adventists were fucking easily as brutal as old-school Pentecostals.

                1. I don’t trust them one bit. I’ve known more than a few that expressed Libertarian views because they were afraid they would not be able to follow their own religious views, but I watched them in action. “Ends justify the means”.

                  1. I certainly 99% agree with you but I do think we have a minuscule number of true Christian/religious libertarians around here who don’t wish to fuck with our lifestyles. They simple want to live in peace religiously and have no desire to control at least this worldly motherfucker and call me goddamn naive but I believe them so I accord them peace. But the number of religious who can do this is just fucking tiny but tiny can be powerful.

                    1. I agree. But if a Seventh Day Adventist claims to be Libertarian, my skeptic meter goes off the scale.

                    2. As would I about rank Pentecostals. I hate to admit this but I’d fucking laugh in their goddamn lying faces. But since when has any fundamentalist believer of the bible ever referred to themselves as Libertarian? Likely super rare if ever. Nominal lukewarm, new age 30th edition to make everything OK for this decade King James revisionists normally refer to themselves as slightly libertarian. And when this revelation hits them they are normally young and very attractive and can’t wait to get on Youtube to spout shit about how free they believe society should be.. in spite of the fact that their bible is anything but free… but I digress.

                    3. “I certainly 99% agree with you but I do think we have a minuscule number of true Christian/religious libertarians around here who don’t wish to fuck with our lifestyles. They simple want to live in peace religiously and have no desire to control at least this worldly motherfucker and call me goddamn naive but I believe them so I accord them peace. But the number of religious who can do this is just fucking tiny but tiny can be powerful.”

                      I’m a Christian. I follow The New Testament. The New Testament is the revised contract between man and God because God realized that man had fucked up the first one. It does not call for any of the child raising techniques you describe.

                      Don’t blame all Christians because of the Church your family chose to attend or the tendencies of a child beating father. Not all childbeaters use religion as an excuse to beat someone weaker than them but do it anyway.

                      Jesus brought us the 11th Commandment

                      Love one another.

                    4. OneOut, you crazy motherfucker, I just fucking posted that your type is tiny but powerful. So fucking worship your god and love the things you love, baby.

        2. Plopper, is that you?

          Muppet Babies -gt DuckTales

          1. Hey Tulpa, did you realize that’s a really stupid thing to say? Kind of like how all your jokes are really stupid. Is that because you’re a moron, do you think? Probably. Have you ever asked a doctor why you’re such a moron? It might be curable, you know.

            1. “Ya caint fix stoopid.”

    2. Launchpad McQuack was the knees.

      1. Doofus

  21. McCain, for his part, argued that the increase in terrorism (he said the Middle East is literally burning)

    Well, if you and your buddy Hillary would stop sneaking weapons over there to give to the ‘good’ terrorists, maybe it would get better, you senile old dick. Do us all a favor and do not seek another term, or just go stand in the corner with your drool bucket and STFU.

    1. I’m probably the only person here who can read Portuguese, besides you. You do realize that we’re all Canadian here and only speak Canuckistanian, right?

      1. Anyway, so Brazil wants to get rid of the military police? Sounds about as likely as the USA getting rid of the DEA.

      2. You do realize that we’re all Canadian here and only speak Canuckistanian, right?

        Eh! Speak for yourself, buddy.

        1. You do realize that we’re all Canadian here and only speak Canuckistanian, right?

          /me walks into a d?panneur

          /me says “Bonjour” to the shopkeeeper

          “Hello, how are you?”

          “Good, and you? Was my French that bad?”

          “I’m doing well. Yes, your French was that bad.”

      3. So all these constant textual brain explosions all over the Reasoniverse emanate from Canadian brains? Is Hyp Brazilian?

        1. Gets one every two weeks, regular. It’s bikini season, you know.

          1. It’s a good thing I’m sobering up.

          2. I can’t even compute that within normal parametres. You fuck Brazilians and you live in Brazil? Or do you fuck Brazilians and you are Brazilian? I think Brazilians are rather cool so this isn’t a racist question either way. I’m just curiousity.

        2. My wife is Brazilian, so I get to be an honorary one when I’m down there.

            1. Would

              1. IKR?

            2. Ah fuck man, you’ve exposed me, damn you!

              1. You could charge $10 for mustache rides.

  22. It’s worth noting not one Democrat voted with Rand here. It’s also weird that Mike Lee didn’t, but Susan Collins, Cotton and Grassley did???.

    Here’s the list of the Nays.

    NAYs —17
    Barrasso (R-WY)
    Blunt (R-MO)
    Coats (R-IN)
    Collins (R-ME)
    Cotton (R-AR)
    Crapo (R-ID)
    Ernst (R-IA)
    Fischer (R-NE)
    Grassley (R-IA)
    Moran (R-KS)
    Paul (R-KY)
    Risch (R-ID)
    Roberts (R-KS)
    Rubio (R-FL)
    Sessions (R-AL)
    Shelby (R-AL)
    Thune (R-SD)

    1. That’s sort of weird. Wyden & Heinrich didn’t vote nay, but spent something like a half hour saying why bulk collection is terrible. This cloture vote was sort of weird.

      1. Greater forces are at play.

        1. Yes indeed.

          There are jobs to be kept and money to be made.

          All youngsters here should read about the Abscam days. It gives one a foundation to understand how institutionalized the corruption is.

          1. Hegel influenced Wilson way fucking before Abscam, bro.

      2. This is actually the same as the last vote. All of Rand Paul’s filibuster allies voted for cloture. They are hoping for amendments to make it stronger.

  23. What makes a man go Tulpical? Lust for power? Gold? Or was he just born with a heart full of Tulpicality?

    1. A man like Tulpa has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never lie enough, or troll enough, or inflict enough stupidity to ever fill it.

      1. That or he is a company man.

        He/they generate the comment section, ergo traffic numbers.

        I come here for the entertainment, how ’bout you ?

      2. The strain was more than he could bear.

        1. He’s no daisy, he’s no daisy at all!

      3. +1 huckleberry

    2. Enh, it’s probably just Andy Kaufman fucking with us.

    3. Fawning affection, admiration, a feeling of compatriotism versus a cold and hostile board.. if only she would of noticed him, showed interest in him.. if only he could’ve caught her eye.. He did it all for you, Mary..

  24. What makes governments dangerous? Power.

    What does government surveillance do? Increases government power.

    I would rather worry about an occasional terrorist attack than the constant ubiquitous surveillance by our government.

    “You have nothing to worry about if you have done nothing wrong.”

    That depends on who is defining what is wrong and what is right.

    Are political opponents doing something wrong?

    Are unfavorable news reporters or agencies doing something wrong?

    What happens when the President (any President) or his devotees, who can find out about anyone in the US with the bulk collection, does not like someone and decides to do something about it, whether it be political or personal.

    President Obama has already shown us a glimpse of how that would look.

    “On May 17, 2013, the Washington Post reported the Justice Department had monitored reporter James Rosen’s activities by tracking his visits to the State Department, through phone traces, timing of calls and his personal emails in a probe regarding possible leaks of classified information in 2009 about North Korea.”

    The potential for abuse from these programs is astronomical.
    We can not have government surveillance that in the hands of less than desirable government officials (which is most of them) can silence or destroy dissenters and political opposition.
    They are collecting everything. Which means whenever they want and to whoever they want, they can go back in time and use what they find against them.

    1. Man, the choir your fingers preach to are a thousand paragraphs ahead of you on the visages of lost American horizons.

  25. I don’t know the details of the USA Freedom Act, except that Rand Paul opposes it.

    I don’t idolize Rand Paul, but let’s just say I trust him a wee bit more than the other clowns in the Senate. So if he says the USA Freedom Act doesn’t adequately protect freedom, then I’m inclined to believe him.

    Which in turn leads me to think that this is the sort of bill politicians support after a scandal in order to win the news cycle by Doing Something. Even if the Something doesn’t Do very much at all.

    1. “NSA abuses? Yeah, we put those to an end with the USA Freedom Act, haven’t you heard? So, you gonna vote for me or not?”

  26. Lots of new names. I hope these aren’t same bitches reposting under new names with all due respect to dudes I party with in these threads. Man, I hate that shit unless reposters are upfront they just feel new namey like a girly-girl that needs a cute outfit. or whatever.

    1. Take heart Agile. I have never posted under any name other than this one. Seven years worth? Never any guise from me.

      1. Fucking genuine meat like myself, man… I lay it all out get normal, fucked up, drugged out, booze, drunk, mistaken, maybe fuckin occrasionaly correct and shit but like Suthenboy I will always FUCKIN be Agile Cyborg for better andfor the worst… man…. connect Suthenboy and Agile Cyborg real forever…

  27. From the Hill article after the 7:10 update:

    The USA Freedom Act needed 60 votes to move forward. It had fallen three votes short of that mark earlier this month, but multiple lawmakers changed their position since the last week ? including McConnell ? seemingly out of a desire to prevent the law from lapsing. Burr was another of the 21 lawmakers who switched his vote, as were Sens. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.) and Angus King (I-Maine) ? the lone lawmaker caucusing with Democrats who had opposed the bill.

    Note to self: Remember this when she runs for reelection.

    1. Remember this when she runs for reelection.

      Fair enough, but do you want to give fucking Shae-Porter and Hassan the whole run of the place?

      1. His name should be Obtuse Mulatto. Jesus FUCKING Christ…

        1. You haven’t met Maggie, have you?

          1. Man, mulatto I am FUCKED up on all sorts of shit and you just need to ask this fucking face about maggie, man. I DO NOT know maggie. I KNOW the hero mumu… I DO NOT know MAggie, bitch.

            1. Maggie Hassan is the current governor of NH. It’s a joke about just how horrible her and Sen. Carol Shae-Porter are.

              1. I always knew my lovely great Mulatto wouldn’t fuck with me tripping on booze and shit. Man, I love my Mulatto. So my mind can comprehensive the Hero Mumu knowledgacious… all good. Peace Hero Mu.

                1. Nothing but respect, AC.

                  1. Given in return. I love my fucking Mulattobaby.

      2. As someone else said, if you don’t support Republicans who hate civil liberties, you might wind up with Democrats who don’t support civil liberties. Turns out, though, that Shea-Porter voted Nay on the USA Freedom Act.

  28. ” Wave goodbye to Section 215 and mass collection of Americans’ telephone metadata.”

    Yeah. Maybe.

    Who really thinks the NSA techs are busy pulling the plugs tonight?

    I know, I’m a big Debbie Downer, but c’mon – do you really think they’ve stopped? Are going to stop? Ever? No matter what laws are passed?

    It’s nice theater. I like the Kabuki Dance where the good guys finally win.

    But recall what Rand said: “The head of intelligence agency lied to the American people, and he still works there.”

    That’s right. He does. And his boss still works there, our Lord Emperor who has complete contempt for the Law and wants the spying to continue.

    If any plugs are pulled, it isn’t for data collection, it’s for data reporting to hide the fact that the data collection is continuing.

    But, Huzzahs to Rand Paul. At least it’s more heart warming theater than usual.

    1. It peels off another layer of legitimacy. It’s like an onion: lots to peel off, and a lot of tears, but you get there eventually.

    2. Praise Paul, but libertarians are skeptic ships revving engines on the futures of reality?

  29. Heavy metal in America is like a dripping bloody pussy. Lovely lady wants to sleep. She doesn’t desire penetration.

    This is modern ‘hardcore’ America. Hardcore America is a green twinkie.

    Oh. Look. Shit. that twinkie is.green.

    This is extent of music in 2015 music.

    NOTHING in American music is punk.

    Laws are killing AMERICAN beast monsters at the music levels.

    POLICE are FAT TINY BRAINED FUCKS who can’t grasp a single FUCKING shred of Bertrand Russell and modern art from their sniveling little shit fucking dumbass CHRISTIAN Afghanistan soldier professors from motherfucking Columbus and Wapakoneta schools of cops…

    ALL fucking goddamn dummies right out of high school or dead end jobs. I meet these people and they ARE horrifying brainwise. Empty. Lost. and fully American….
    jesus fucking christ….

    The humans created in modern America means America is a dead soul. America will be a dead Europe twin. Fuck

    1. “Heavy metal in America is like a dripping bloody pussy. Lovely lady wants to sleep.”

      Hey, that reminds me= if anyone likes Black Sabbath, they should like this. I do.

      1. Black Sabbath is insane but where are the new Black Sabbaths?

      2. I see what you are getting it, but for my money I will take Gordon Lightfoot over Sabbath.

        1. I didn’t know the music of Gordon Lightfoot was a panty-dropper.

          Live and learn.

          1. Hangout at a Whole Foods or similar store and find a woman aged 47-60. Make sure she has no children and wears many bracelets. Tell her you love animals and that you wear organic deodorant. Take her antiquing. Get her in your Volvo 240 and play some Lightfoot.* Hemp panties dropped.

            Note: if she is from West Virgina play some Mr. Sunshine On My Goddamn Shoulder

            1. “[…]Hemp panties dropped.”

              But don’t they get fouled on the leg hair?

              1. Ugh, you and your stereotypes.

                1. “Ugh, you and your stereotypes.”:

                  Hey, I live in SF and shop at HF, so that’s no stereotype. That’s a *definition*!

                  1. Correction: -shop at WF-

                    1. I was just joking! Stereotype away, hippie!

        2. I love gordon also,, I am a very libertarian swinger of tunes, Jesus Juggles.. wait did I call a juggler jesus?

          1. I am a juggler of spirits and souls and mack daddys.

            1. your envoy of love is a massive starjangs whipping venus clouds right into my face from my monitor man.. seriously your starjand hit me in the face and these thing shapped in on turns and triangles and q bombastic and endtables.

      3. If you like your Black Sabbath you can keep your Black Sabbath.

        1. oh eddie. why do you always have to bring religion into everything.

            1. Heretic, you confuse Black Sabbath with Metallica?

              I bet you think the Millennium Falcon was “that spaceship in Star Trek that was always getting lost in space.”

              1. Iron Maiden is worse.

                1. Seriously though, dig this

                  I need to drive a Pantera and carry a Colt Python just so i can play this song and feel cool enough.

                  1. Someone said Pantera, which reminded me of this.

                    1. Sugarfree’s the link. Vunce more, mit feeelink!

                2. Iron Maiden is worse.

                  Eddie, I usually try to defend you here. You are now dead to me.

      4. Nobody did a contemporary Sabbath-sound rip-off better than The Troggs It’s also kind of a punk-metal cover of the Kinks’ Lola.

        1. meh. I always thought the Troggs were mods. Rockers Beat Mods!

          1. The Troggs are best understood as punks. They dressed like Mods but could barely play their instruments.

      5. GILMORE, perhaps you can help me, being a former DJ and all.

        What genre of music – or perhaps more accurately, subgenre of jazz- would you describe the following as: female singer, slow tempo, few instruments, singer is all over the beat, with a sultry approach. During the verses, the only thing you can hear besides the singer is a very light touch on drums, and the bass. The pianist might throw in a chord here and there just to remind the audience he’s still in the room. In the chorus, the band gets a little louder, but still takes a backseat.

        This is the best example, and not a very good one at that, of what I’m talking about.

        1. “torchlight”, female-ballads?

          I think of the great female jazz vocalists like sarah vaughn, billy holliday, ella fitzgerald, dinah washington, lenah horne, and they all had tunes/arrangements like the above at one point. I don’t know when the real “golden age” of female jazz vocalists was, but i assume it was probably 50s/early 60s, when there was that gap between “big band” and “bebop”, when songwriting really shined and solo performers took a lot more latitude in how they stretched numbers out, stylistically.

          But as for “genre”, i’d just call it “jazz ballad”. all those tunes were done 1000 times over, like Cole Porter, Hammerstein, etc. One of my favorites of that type is the Coltrane/Hartman “you are too beautiful

          1. some people call it “lounge jazz”

          2. Thanks for the answer and link.

            1. I do not know if this qualifies, but i like this lady.

            2. “Comrade F. Stupidity, Jr.|2015/05/31 22:34:00|#5335139”

              If you’ve never heard the pairing of Oscar Peterson & Ella Fitzgerald…. I think they played together off and on for like 2 decades. it was all in that particular style. example I was lucky enough to see them do a reunion in Carnegie Hall in the late 90s before they died.

          3. Good list but personally, I don’t think a list of classic female jazz vocalists is complete without Nina Simone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7nmdi0u4T0 She was one of a kind. (and one of my favorites)

            1. yep. i mentioned nina simone the other day

              (when camile paglia was touting “maddona” as the great feminist artist of the 20th century)

              i think she’s bigger than merely ‘jazz vocalist’ and was more of an multitalented artist/songwriter whose music was always sort of iconoclastic and entirely her own. I think critics thought she sounded too ‘manly’ for the specific ‘torch song’ genre we’re sort of talking about.

  30. Coats has been fear mongering for the last like half hour. Shut the fuck up, shitbag.

    1. This program has more oversight than any program in government…

      Yea, which is why the NSA gets its warrants approved over 99% of the time. And why the government is in court rooms lying about where they get evidence.

      Reason needs to keep beating that Parallel Construction angle until the media takes it up. They aren’t just violating the 4th amendment, but the right of the accused to confront their accuser in a court of law.

    2. And then he was one of the 19 Nays on the cloture vote. Fuck him.

    3. Coats is a douche. That is all.

  31. hey, you PJmedia fathead that goes on predictable FOX news and their so FUCKING obvious top-down state-run bullshit environment… you FUCKING want your AMERICAN ‘law and order’ enforced by FUCKING high-school drop-outs and inner city lost souls who got LUCKY to get in on your law enforcement schools all over the various states?

    Suck my FAT cock you motherfucking sellout. I hate your kind. You would sell America right into a pile of head-cutting assassins just so your fat fucking conservative jesus cocks could cum to law being served.

    Sorry, man. REAL fucking freedom isn’t based on oppression. REAL fucking freedom isn’t based on the GODDAMN Drudgereport or CNN or FOx or all your FUCKING shit stations that survive on detergent commercials…

    A real verified America survives on the FUCKING will to be GODDAMN FREE! Free to love, live, and die with a state that does NOT oppress in its hunt for fucking terrorists or sherriff’s that answer to ONLY the church deacons. County law enforcement in a free country doesn’t answer ONLY to the rich fucks with restaurants and banks you DUMB ANTI-AMERICAN fucks. ALL law enforcement in an open society answers to the motherfucking community of voices and voters.

    FUCK the elite that have FUCKED America up for its rotten vile goals. Man, this is epitome of the greatest experiment the planet will ever see.

    1. Fox News is shilling for Jeb Bush. It’s obvious and they don’t even bother to hide it anymore.

      1. Every FUCKING station has political techs organized by uptown brains, man…. you can see every station has a design and a very FUCKING clever design while all the faces read the prompters like their own dumb tongue actually came up with that shit… We all know it is very rare for blondes and pretty boys to be brilliant, man… it ain’t complicated….

        I KNOW a blonde that makes half million a year. I fuck her… MOST blondes will NOT make anything close to this repeating what 12 writers wrote based on what that station’s CEO wants the viewer to know…. ah…. own the tv station… own the minds… except for those FUCKING hated individualists…

        man we hate those individualists

      2. Fox wavers between Jeb and Rubio. Rubio is the establishment favorite. I expect he’ll inherit the Jeb machine and $$$ at some point.

  32. I do believe when John McCain dies of a heart attack, it will be on the Senate floor and in response to Rand Paul .

    “Oh, be still my heart!”

    (tee hee)

  33. Ok, i have to admit, the moment in GoT when ‘tormond’ gets tired of listening to the Skull Hat guy, and just beats him like a bitch was pretty “Menace 2 Society”.

    i approve.

    1. The wildlings free folk are such a refreshing presence. They’re not coy or subtle or interested in mere threats; they’ll just beat someone to death and get on with it. I feel like that was a treat intended for all those who wish they’d just kill Ramsay already.

  34. Man my facebrain read a tons of letters late afterwands… and I sincerely love my paper fangs on this inebriated binary atomic flash melt of flung letters of kings and those special queens we all love… cuz queens are rare here and KINGS own the mountains of times and fonts, man

  35. yea so a million places loved fingers and I casually followed all these raindrops on my fucking keyboard even though it sin init areally reeall really raining but I guess that shit is raining in my fingers and this fucking keyboars but man that song said it is.. shit man am I fucked up? I need more beer, man

    1. Me too.

  36. Did Rand Paul just make parts of the Patriot Act sunset? Holy fuck, Batman, that’s like legendary stuff.

    So, what do you have to say, proglodytes? Your light bringer, the one who was to come and set all things right, has had nearly 8 fucking years to do something about this as fucking president, and he did nothing! And here is one guy, one Senator nearly acting alone, who makes this happen.

    1. I said Rand Paul has the biggest dick in congress and senate and even bigger than bbc prez, nigga.

      1. You are a treasure.

        1. nah, you are, you FUCKING buried chest in the binary sand of this fucking thread…you juggling FUCKING jester monster.

    2. For two, maybe three days. And he’ll be successfully blamed for anything bad that happens from this day forward which can remotely be linked to terrorism, by both ends of the political spectrum and the entire media.

      1. And he’ll be successfully blamed for anything bad that happens from this day forward which can remotely be linked to terrorism, by both ends of the political spectrum and the entire media.

        Bullshit alert! Bullshit alert! Tulpa-lies detected!

  37. This is bullshit, now I owe Reason fifty bucks.


    2. It’s because you bet the money that this happened. Murphy’s law.

      We will remember your sacrifice.

  38. Headlining at CNN? Biden’s kid. The most important debate of the past 15 years? Squirreled away in the digital version of section B.

    1. Suprasad news.. in the world of fucking rarely paying attention news because our news channels sell tons of fucking detergent… but I actually stopped today… and paid respect. Fuck dad Biden for his politics but erase the heathen monsters of controlling citizens day to day and in actual america a Biden daddy can lose his son and for real it is awful,,,

      galactic respects to vice-president Biden for his loss.

    2. Don’t worry, they’ve updated it as the main story.

      Patriot Act provisions are expiring
      At 12:01 a.m. Monday, the U.S. will find itself with fewer tools to investigate terrorism.


  39. I hate the world where we can’t love each other for our mind freaks all evidently so varied and rainbowed…

    We are taught to resist in anger the other among fake smiles on the hills of power and beneath the hills of power we are taught to be malleable and weak and broken and non-resistant so the hills of power can control the lowland great minds easily but… no. we won’t give in… sorry…

  40. If human love and discernment was prominade
    war would fail and law would lessen
    and if we enjoined our pointed raindrops as we looked
    into our faces over a neon bbq and games and couples
    and families loved without whispers and anger in spite
    chancery and difference;;

    I admit to enjoying mind trips and i get lost in occasional drugs and pussy
    but this doesn’t mean I am not a great dude, man… I have my closet
    and my wife fucks a boyfriend for years and i love her stories and yet this home
    angular with art and music and love and space energyies..

    ,can the pulsations on planets equal a landing ?

  41. heart is human and tears heal for only a second.
    life death is a future heal where future gods release
    us like kings in the midst of our eternal tears and our
    loss breaks the stars and the planets because we
    are FUCKING human…

    we loss.
    and space reacts in star tears
    the family of outer space feels human loss, man,
    old galaxy pianos play tunes no FUCKING human will ever FUCKNG hear EVER
    you lose a son… may space clouds lift your special life into
    the sea of loving arms of stars crying streams for the living… because stars are dying and they seek the maestros of loss seeking the kings of human loss

    and on galactic rainbows your son will find peace in the atoms of the long rays in the deep love, Vice-president Biden….

    Peace out

  42. Ahh.. the daily mail and its 12 nutpunch..

    1. Oh.. and this too

    2. Deputy Peter Peraza, the officer whose bullets killed him, claimed he saw no ear buds, which were found stuffed in his pocket

      Are you fucking kidding me.

      1. McBean, who had two degrees from New York’s Pace University, had traces of marijuana in his system according to the autopsy.

        He’d been diagnosed with bipolar in 2010 and days before his death was hospitalized after acting ‘manic’ and ‘irrational’ at work.

        His medication was adjusted and he took the following week off from work.

        McBean purchased the air gun from a local pawn shop, where a worker recalled that he’d come in for a shotgun but then decided on the BB gun.

        It remains unclear what made McBean purchase the gun. that day

        Thank god that brave deputy made home that night, right DM? He stared down a bipolar maniac, who was high on drugs.. and armed to the teeth with a “GUN” …whose back was to him, and was wearing earbuds.. unaware of the deputy’s presence.

        1. I like to play a game with my acquaintances who think I’m a foil-hat wingnut, or at least hyperbolic about the state of modern affairs. Give me an article, I say. Any article. No limits. HuffPo, Bloomberg, whatever, so love as it’s American media.

          And then I show them where they’re being manipulated.

          The looks on their faces….

  43. Just ‘cuz I’m poking around the net:
    I know the Anthem of the Seas is far beyond Panamax, and I count 16 decks above the waterline before you try to figger the funnels, the HVAC, etc, but someone built an enclosed dock big enough to take that:

    1. I was just reading about the Anthem of the Seas a few weeks ago. Isn’t it one of the largest non-military vessels afloat?

      1. Got that bourbon…
        Pretty sure it depends on how it’s measured. Just did a search and Wiki says:
        (wiki for biggest ships gets ‘longest’ ships and the link doesn’t condense)
        about the longest ships, as opposed to the heaviest or the tallest or the widest, or…
        I know a lot of the container ships are far beyond Panamax and no one cares, since they go from the Orient to the west coast of the ‘new world’. Ditto some tankers moving oil from the mideast to Europe.
        But if it’s not the biggest, it’s damned impressive and so is the covered dock that accepts it.

        1. I read about a lot of random. It would take far too long to explain.

          IIRC, it was defined as largest by passenger and crew capacity. Upwards of 6000 fully loaded. Which just boggles.

          1. Whoa!
            Wife and I were on a 2,500-passenger ship; say (2:1 ratio) 3,750 total. The boarding and departure were via a single ‘hatch’ (door); we were in line to depart for something like 90 minutes.
            Unless they did some serious development for the additional people, I have no idea how they’d ever get return custom or reviews that attracted others.
            I can’t see any reason it can’t be done, but 5 or 6 years ago, it hadn’t been done.

    2. I wouldn’t be comfortable on that ship anywhere with weather. Their stability is… questionable.

  44. VODKA.

    How is everyone this evening?

    1. Considering a shot of bourbon; not bad, howz you?

    2. I was not prepared for Hamsters of Doom doing only the clear glass zombie….. i though hamsters prefried cocaine… I drink me tons of the dancing lights in the crystals tank but i’d never seen a hamsters jack cocaine up his teeny tiny nose… man that would be fucking cool or not maybe Imma FUCKING horrible human for imagine this shit…

      fine. Im HORRIBLE…

      FUCK …jesus FUCKING christ my brain is tellng my not to feed hamsters cocaine. FUCK ME

      1. Do NOT feed a hamster cocaine.

        But for fucks sake you better rub a gerbil’s gums with some sweet booger sugar.

      2. Many moons ago, when I lived in Florida, my best chum was a stripper who made it her life goal to get me to fuck a woman or try cocaine. I didn’t even smoke pot back in those days. Vodka tonics, Jagerbombs and Marlboros were the extent of my vices.

        Switching from vodka to weed was an excellent life choice. Tonight is nevertheless a vodka night.

        What’s your flavor, Cyborg? I dunno, I picture you as a straight scotch/beer chaser man.

        1. ok so I only drink high grav beer and I love scotch and gin and tonics and bloody sluts and I roll my indica from a shoe box and I like my cocaine from a local cop and lsd? not gonna say…pharma? nah…. they’ve been checking me in bars for years… FUCK you local dummies.
          all this shit is watched always man…. i have my ways and it will never be found and they try…. i’ve seen it over the years….

          Not being found is also about wasting their time….. for years….upon years….

          1. Was asking about your taste in booze, brah. I only ever discuss my own drugs online.

            1. I love my hamster man

              1. You’re my favorite, brah. Remain awesome.

    3. I’m doin Smirnoff and fresh squeezed orange juice. Wife is doing a chardonnay.


      1. Just wait. ADELIND. Not sayin’ nothin, huh-uh, wouldn’t want to spoil it.

        What episode are you on?

        1. Season 1: episode 9

          1. Then I’ll keep my mouth shut. Good stuff coming up. You’ll enjoy.

    4. Dogfish 60. Some fellas on here recommended it and it really is tasty.

      1. Oh, forgive me. I meant that it is as tasty as a Honduran mind maize smothered in juniper.

        1. Juniper-Horseradish Crusted Prime Rib

          You will need:

          at least 5lbs of prime

          20 juniper berries

          1/2 c horseradish

          1 c merlot

          1 tbsp butter (no substitutions allowed)

          4-7 cloves garlic, crushed and chopped superfine

          Fancy-schmancy morons like that Sandra Lee will probably sell you a mortar and pestle to crush your berries and cloves, and it’s the tool I would use to pound the berries myself, but the flat of your knife on a cutting board will do the job splendidly for both cloves and berries. You merely need to crush and bruise the berries a bit, to release the flavors, not pulverize them.

          Rub the outside of your clean, dry roast with the berries. Rub good. Pretend it’s your wife, and you forgot your MIL’s birthday. Do not leave them on the roast*.

          Once you’ve rubbed, simmer the garlic and wine together very gently, for only a few minutes. Whisk in the butter and keep whicking until it is fully incorporated. Add the bruised and crushed berries at the last second, remove from heat immediately. Wet mop your roast allllll over with this mix. If you have an injector, use it. Do not allow berry bits to get into the injector*.

          Salt and pepper well. Roast at 350 for 15 minutes, reduce to 325 and cook to 105 internal temp if it will be held at all, 110 otherwise.

          Pairs with anything. Thank me later.

          * The key is that burnt juniper is a horrible flavor. If you master that, you master this ingredient. Never allow juniper to scorch.

          1. Oh my, forgot to add:

            The horseradish. After you’ve wet mopped and seasoned, slather on the horseradish and massage it in to the top. Then pop in the oven.

            1. I am going to do this to some steakums.

          2. I’m something of a prime rib expert, and I’ve never seen anything like that. Will try, with notes.

            1. I was lucky enough to get to play with the food at this one restaurant fairly early in my career. I’d read about juniper and horseradish with meats in a Jean M. Auel book (don’t judge me) and decided to try it out. This recipe was the result. It became a weeknight staple on the menu.

              I’d be interested in your thoughts. Food and words are my artistic media of choice, and I am always eager to get feedback. It’s too easy to let the palate stagnate, or miss the obvious correction.

              1. I’ve been chasing the dragon for years. The best prime rib I’ve ever had was working on a movie set in 2003. Rotisserie applewood smoked. I’ve been trying to recreate it for years, and I’m only about 40% of the way there.

                Food is my only artistic outlet. I’m bad with words (and home improvement projects).

                1. Recreating a recipe from taste alone is extremely difficult. People have this tendency to slam themselves, but honestly, even professionals with trained palates consider this to be a highly nuanced skill which requires years of devotion. I myself can get quite close, in many dishes I’ve tried. I’m almost certain I have Carrabba’s crab cakes in red pepper cream sauce down pat, for example, but there’s a savory waffle dish with a cream sauce from Denver that’s been eluding me for years. I was convinced the key was Grand Marnier, and only now am I experimenting with various whiskey and orange peel combos, and I am not certain that secret elusive flavor doesn’t have some origin in pureed, buttered parsnips with nutmeg.

                  Tricky, tricky shit. That’s what makes it fun.

      2. I recommended dogfish head, but I can’t remember if it was 60 or 120. I celebrate both.

        1. Thanks.

      3. If you like Dogfish 60, try Loose Cannon ( by Heavy Seas ). I prefer it, personally. Slightly maltier, but with a little more grapefruit/citrus. Not 100% on their grain bill, but I believe they use Simcoe and Centennial in the boil and dry hop with Citra which gives it an almost orangey taste and a very citrusy nose.

        I’ve been working on a lot of my own recipes so I do a lot of hop research, via tasting. I mean, you can’t bottle beer without empty bottles, and the bottles don’t empty themselves…

  45. “Common sense must trump conspiracy fantasy; the #PatriotAct helps protect our life and liberty.”

    – Mitt Romney on Twitter.

    He is getting unloaded on by supporters on both sides of the aisle.

    I’ve also noticed people giving Edward Snowden a lot of credit for this expiring, but not Rand Paul.

    1. “Common sense must trump conspiracy fantasy; the #PatriotAct helps protect our life and liberty.”

      Mittens has both those clauses exactly backwards, regardless of whether it is a result of a mistake or outright stupidity.

      1. so this strange super successful skeleton of amazing nothing is a mittens? Like a huge monstrous dollar bill of whited blank cotton mittens? um, I would never want to be this, sevo you fucking strange thread puddle monster on this things of reasonwangs….

        1. This place can’t even handle you.

          1. This place has a toxic god called CYTO…. if this place can handle AFUCKING TOXIC GOZD.. it can handle sprinkles of agile cyborg.

  46. I just opened this fuckin old bottle of wine that FUCKING saids Horse heaven on it and I found it on top of tons of bottles of shit in my kitchen in my woods and who the FUCK ever even cares man… love long and love space and check your world for those who’ve lost loves and I am fucked up on cocain, pot, beer, and wine and…. I recognize with love our vice president’s loss with full respect….

    so, I will drink a bottle of horse heaven and plan n=o on living with due respect for American power….

    At least this night…. I am a nasty nasty law breaker boy… but I am quite intelligent and high a nd drunk and fucking getting fucked up this night man

    1. Horse Heaven Hills, I’d wager. Lemme do a google real quick.

      1. Yep, I’d bet my vodka on it. Horse Heaven Hills. Very nice choice in WA wines, you have taste.

        Cali has fuck-all on WA reds. YOU HEAR THAT, PLAYA?

        1. Oh, hello. I’m a beer man. Carry on.

          1. I lolled.

  47. Thank you Scott.

    1. I saw Scott underneath my FUCKING desk and he was alasmost as cute as a hamster called hyperiomullato and a million soldiers of Cytoxi wombs will kill a million reason wombs with their massive veiny screamy dickes DEG Crusty, man.

      1. And sevo and almightyJBlordjesus and CSP and hamsterbutts and bitch this fucking shit is about to break with heart love for my special dudes…..

        1. Go on brother. We love you.

          Go out as far as you can, Agile.

  48. It’s just like after midnight on the morning Jan 1, 2000. Did the world end just now? Are there jihadis holding a ticker tape parade down Fifth Avenue?

    1. hmmm… man

  49. OT: Didn’t see this posted anywhere else, which was surprising since it is a crippling kick in the balls. Oklahoma troopers under fire after fatally shooting assistant pastor stranded by floodwaters

    This shit isn’t going to end by peaceful means.

    1. Pathogen beat you to it. Look upthread, about an hour or two old.

  50. I want to lick clit with my tongue

    1. I’ve been licking clit for FUCKING 20 years , man.

      WHY the FUCK am i on here tonight? I need to end this shit.

      Fuck this keyboard world.. I want to disconnect….

      I FUCK HOT blonde ass all day long man…. tight sweet ass man

  51. Why are any of us online sharing our worlds?

    1. Without some connection to someone – anyone – else who thinks the same as we do, the mind goes crazy with loneliness.

  52. I’ve done every site ever since 1996 and this is my last home. For serious. When I quit Reason I will quit online forever. i will NEVER go online again. Why? Because Reason is the last place online worth my mind visiting. Period.I lived through Salon, reddit, and then final world, Reason worldwide…

    When my fucking face escapes the internet I really will never care about the internet ever again… and then I will die like google founders.

  53. Reason is the final doorway

    1. There is no further doorway. There is only purusha.

      1. lbc, what the FUCK is thie==== purusha

  54. Far as I”m concerned Reason owns the separation between online and offline.

  55. For me. For my current world. No fucking sense of control or desire to control but Reason is my last island on interweb world. I don’t do FUCKING FUCK Facebook shit, TWatbirds, or mothermonster millions site called pinterest and whathefuckingfuk……….

  56. Reason should always be the fucking hammer on Agile Cyborg and crush this bitch skull and send his ass into the broken hills if he FUCKS shit up and maybe shit breaks and all but REASON is a brand I respect and if my FUCKING shit is fucked up man ….these sentences are all regular so I’m not entirely sure what this FUCKING shit is about…

  57. one thing is that I LOVE my REASON LOVES commentations and Powerful anglesand SHIT I LOVZE my amazing dudes and lives and lobes ans


  58. I need not to fuck with my loving world of lovers of great knowns….

    I should not fuck with my amazing great awesome lovers on beer.cocaine.wine worlds

  59. One man can make a difference.

    The rest of them should be impeached for violating the oath to uphold the constitution.

  60. as Janet said I cannot believe that some one can earn $9035 in one month on the internet . \

    see this………. http://WWW.PROFIT-REVIEW.COM

  61. Rand Paul. The ONLY politician in America today with integrity and cojones.

    Note to Fox News talking heads who think Paul is committing political suicide. Rand Paul WILL be president some day. Let’s hope he’s around a lot longer than Fox News — and O’Reilly.

  62. Wow. It’s nice to actually hear some good news for a change.

  63. What’s a little thing like fighting nuclear equipped terrorists when it may allow the Feds to read what you had for diner last night? I see Rand Paul is the same demogogue he always was.
    Stupid ass twit.

  64. It is for you.

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