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How Does a Swingers Club Deal With Punitive Zoning Laws? By Making Themselves a Church.

Amanda Winkler | 5.30.2015 3:00 PM

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"A Swingers Club Is Rebranded a Church To Evade Local Busybodies," produced by Amanda Winkler and narration by Todd Krainin. About 5 minutes.

Original release date was May 28, 2015 and original writeup is below. 

How do you protect a swinger club from a bullying neighbor and a hostile zoning board? Turn it into a church.

That was the innovative legal tactic devised by Nashville Attorney Larry Roberts, whose client purchased a property for $750,000 last November with the intention of making it home to the Social Club, an "equal opportunity lifestyle organization" that aims to help its members find other that share the "same interest and desires."

Enter the Good Pasture Christian School, which his located nearby. Principal Ricky Perry complained that the organization would "pollute" the minds of his children with "ungodly activity." The local zoning board agreed, passing an emergency zoning resolution in March that blocked Robert's client from building on the site. 

So the swingers club found religion. When asked if rebranding the club as a church was intended to skirt the zoning resolution, Roberts smiled. "Let's just say it's opening up to give people guidance."

No sexual activity will be allowed on the premise, but there will be socializing and dancing. "It will have the same rules that many churches observe," says Roberts, "such as do not steal, do not lie, do not cheat, do not harm others, and do not kill." There is one difference: Adultery is OK, as long as your spouse knows all about it.

About 5 minutes.

Produced by Amanda Winkler. Narration by Todd Krainin.

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NEXT: China All Things to All Pundits: Mostly a Rhetorical Trope and Fairy-Tale Boogeyman

Amanda Winkler was a producer at Reason TV.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Principal Ricky Perry complained that the organization would "pollute" the minds of his children with "ungodly activity."

    And a third scarequoted thing that he couldn't recall.

    1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      There'll be dancing going on before this is through, you mark my words.

      1. Suthenboy   10 years ago

        Surprisingly few people know that old joke, so I will give your comment context:

        Why don't Baptists allow people to fuck standing up?

        It might lead to dancing.

  2. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    Get on your knees and pray

    1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      With someone else's husband's dick in your mouth. KA-SPLASH! Just washed away all your subtlety.

    2. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      We don't get fooled again

  3. mr lizard   10 years ago

    You know who else couldn't tolerate the presence of a concentrated group of sexual deviants?...

    1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      Virginia Postrel?

      1. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

        Hands down winner. Don't even bother trying to top that.

        1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

          🙂

        2. mr lizard   10 years ago

          I was actually looking for Old Testament god, but that will do

          1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

            People didn't get away with these kinds of things when the Old Testament god was in charge.

          2. Austrian Anarchy   10 years ago

            Wasn't that written like 100 years ago in language people don't understand? Or was that the Constitution?

    2. Chumby   10 years ago

      Dennis Hastert?

  4. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

    Deja vu freaks me out, man...

    1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      You've seen this pussy before?

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Something something your mother.

        1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

          Shit, who hasn't.

  5. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    Who would want to share their woman? That's something I've never understood. I'll share beer. I'll share food. But pussy? No fucking way.

    1. mr lizard   10 years ago

      Look just follow the same rules as loaning out your truck. Just wash it off, and top off the tank before you bring it back.

      1. sarcasmic   10 years ago

        Trucks don't generally give you diseases after someone else sits in the driver's seat.

    2. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

      You care more about a woman than beer? That's sick, man.

      1. sarcasmic   10 years ago

        I can make my own beer. I can't make a woman.

        1. BuSab Agent   10 years ago

          -1 Pygmalion

        2. Daily Beatings   10 years ago

          Are you sure about that?

          $15 minimum wage? Meet your new Walmart greeter.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

            I suspect that isn't due to the Japanese minimum wage, but to their population implosion and general weirdness.

    3. Robert   10 years ago

      Someone who's proud of her? Of having her? Who thinks she might make other people happy, too? Maybe people who really need cheering up? Seems to me the same as inviting company, showing off your artwork (homemade or acquired), baking cookies for somebody.

    4. Rasilio   10 years ago

      I got no problem with it. Do it all the time.

      I don't understand those guys who go for the cuckold thing but I happen to like watching my wife bang other guys

    5. jay_dubya   10 years ago

      I will gladly bang your wife today for a six back next Wednesday.

  6. Robert   10 years ago

    WHY CAN'T YOU JUST RECYCLE THE COMMENTS THREAD???!!!!!

    1. Austrian Anarchy   10 years ago

      Yea man, I had some gems in one of the other copies of this story.

  7. Robert   10 years ago

    Plenty of churches are used by people as venues for dating anyway. They have singles nights. This one'll have doubles nights. So really not as big a departure from normal as some people might think. Some of you probably think I'm joking, but I'm not. Maybe in countries where church attendance is low, this'd be considered strange, but in the USA, where church attendance is high, one of the primary places people socialize is churches.

    1. Chumby   10 years ago

      Catholic priests have used the church as a dating service.

      1. Austrian Anarchy   10 years ago

        As did Jim Jones.

  8. vixanoyez   10 years ago

    Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
    This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.www.netjob80.com

  9. adolphowisner   10 years ago

    My buddy's step-sister makes $63 hourly on the internet . She has been unemployed for 10 months but last month her payment was $19497 just working on the internet for a few hours.
    read more ?????????? http://www.BuzzReport20.com

  10. Culverado   10 years ago

    Legal geniuses out there, can't help but respect the hoops we have to jump through in order to be on equal footing with the good lord

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