Brickbat: Don't Lose Your Head

British Museum/Public Domain

The government of Saudi Arabia is looking to looking to hire eight new executioners to keep up with the growing number of people sentenced to death by beheading. The executioners will also perform amputations on people convicted of lesser crimes.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The executioners will also perform amputations on people convicted of lesser crimes.

I blame Obamacare for the shortage. Say, who's that in the picture?

[Rich]

Don't know, but it's cool how the sand has neatly absorbed all the blood.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sand? That seems racist.

[Slammer]

I thought this was the Friday Funnies cartoon.

[Charles Easterly]

You're foolin' yourself, Slammer.
We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy.

[Rich]

Sorry, but less racist than

"It's cool how all the executed people have yellow blood."

[MikeP]

I know your heart. What is it? Is it this? I tell you; this is nothing. Is it the blood? The desert has dried up more blood than you could think of.

[John C. Randolph]

Job requirements: 1) depraved indifference to human suffering. 2) unquestioning obedience to tyrants and the sycophants appointed above him. 3) IQ low enough to avoid ever developing a conscience.

-jcr

[Charles Easterly]

So.... Some of our own current law enforcement officers might be good qualify?
http://abcnews.go.com/US/court.....y?id=95836

[Entropy Void]

And what about an almost fanatical devotion to the .... oh.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Caliph.

[Puddin' Stick]

I don't think #2 is a problem? you'd think an executioner in a tyranny would be paid well enough to ensure loyalty since they are part of the means that a tyrant uses to ensure control.

[straffinrun]

I'd apply, but I don't think it pays a living wage.

[AlmightyJB]

If course it does. They're not barbarians

[Princess Trigger]

What's the health and pension benefits?
Asking for a friend.

[straffinrun]

First dibs on organs and the change left in the pockets.

[Steve G]

#BrownLivesMatter

[Adans smith]

So,is this piece work?

[UnCivilServant]

It's actually a civil service position, albeit at the bottom of the range. So it's probably salaried.

That just put an awful thought in my head. The US-system equivalent: "I don't have to sever it cleanly the first time - they can't fire me"

[Adans smith]

What would the civil service test for that look like?

[UnCivilServant]

I'd wager this one is a T&E (Training and Experience) instead of an exam.

[Adans smith]

They could put the heads on the fence around the White House.,something many Neo Cons would love to see I'll bet

[UnCivilServant]

If it were the punishment for unconstitional actions by a figure of authority, you'd have my vote.

[db]

No, the U.S. equivalent is "Well, Doctor, as you know, accepting Medicare payments under the Affordable Care Act imposes certain obligations on you as a practitioner, but we seem to have a discrepancy here in your records regarding the number of Administrative Amputations you billed for last year. Specifically, you seem not to have met your civil service quota for the last three years. We sincerely hope you can rectify this soon. If you cannot, we will have to refer your case to our reliable collections officer, Dr. Hassan C."

[Adans smith]

I thought it was 'Sir why do you have all this cash in your pocket? '

[Charles Easterly]

Cytotoxic,

When I read this Brickbat I thought of you.

[UnCivilServant]

Was he holding the sword, or kneeling under it?

[Charles Easterly]

I envisioned him applying for the position of executioner.

[Almanian!]

I was envisioning him jerking off to it.

My bad.

[Lord Humungus]

ewwwww /teenage girl

[sarcasmic]

I see you're no Stevie Nicks.

[Dark Lord of the Cis]

"The executioners will also perform amputations on people convicted of lesser crimes."

Like not posting any articles after PM Links?

[Scarecrow Repair]

Or FAILURE TO INCLUDE ALT-TEXT.

[Almanian!]

This is the gravest crime of all.

[Charles Easterly]

I thought grave-robbing was the....

Nevermind.

[Princess Trigger]

This problem with executioners being overwelmed with "customers", reminded me of this scene in a documentary about the American West.
https://youtu.be/KDm3zCvN4ao?t=45

[Charles Easterly]

I knew it before I opened the link.

+1 eyepatch

[Rich]

The executioners will also perform amputations on people convicted of lesser crimes.

And ... circumcisions?

[Entropy Void]

It's Saudi Arabia.

Only female circumcisions performed with a shard of broken glass allowed.

[Almanian!]

I think the US states should look into this. There have been so many recent fuckups with chemical executions recently - seems like a swift beheading with a sharp blade would be less "cruel and unusual"*.

No, I'm not kidding....

* SLD, I don't support death penalty from the state, but if they're gonna do it....

[Notorious G.K.C.]

No fair, I used up my jokes the last time this story got posted.

Except: Remember what the Dormouse said...

[Rich]

Speaking of which -- Anybody know how Agile Cyborg is doing?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

He was here a couple days ago, which in turn was a day or two after his seeming breakdown.

[db]

Don't know, but he seems due for rehab overhaul.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I think Saudi Arabia should take over the UN's Human Rights Council.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Guess who has been representing Asia from 2013 till next year...China, Vietnam, the Maldives, and Saudi Arabia.

It's like the fucking Secret Society of Supervillians. We all know about China and the KSA. The Maldives are also full of Islamocrazies, with no freedom of religion, nor speech, as Sharia law is the basis of legislation. Whereas, Vietnam has a nasty habit of imprisoning political and religious dissidents.

Can we please stop pretending the UN isn't a sick, sick farce now? Please?!?

[Cdr Lytton]

Needs moar labels.

[The Last American Hero]

Ned Stark disapproves. If King Saud thinks these folks need to lose their heads, he ought to swing the ax himself.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

A dose of plumbum should do the trick.

[Rich]

Good for what ails you.

[AlmightyJB]

I thought homeos couldn't be cured