More Hillary Clinton Scandal, No Bullet Hit Speeding Amtrak Train, EU to Respond Militarily to Illegal Immigration Across Mediterranean: A.M. Links

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  • Maureen Dowd

    The latest Hillary Clinton scandal, as reported by The New York Times, is that she was taking advice on Libya during the 2011 U.S.-backed intervention from Sidney Blumenthal while he was barred from working at the State Department but was employed by the Clinton Foundation and Media Matters. Blumenthal, in turn, was passing advice to Clinton he was receiving from business associates trying to win contracts from the Libyan transitional government. House Republicans may subpoena Blumenthal in their Benghazi investigation.

  • Federal investigators do not believe a bullet or any other projectile struck the window of the Amtrak train as it passed north Philadelphia before it crashed while going twice the speed limit for that section of track.
  • 170 alleged biker gang members in Waco were charged with organized crime resulting in death in the wake of a deadly weekend brawl at the local Twin Peaks restaurant. The charge comes with the death penalty as a possible sentence.
  • The European Union has agreed to use its naval forces to intercept migrant ships headed across the Mediterranean, return the passengers to ports in Africa, and destroy the vessels.
  • Thousands of Shi'ite militia fighters are headed to Ramadi to battle the forces of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, which took over the Iraqi provincial capital over the weekend.
  • A man visiting Seattle says he told an armed robber he was from St. Louis and would fist fight the man if he tried to rob him. He wasn't robbed.

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  1. The latest Hillary Clinton scandal, as reported by The New York Times…

    BREAKING NEWS: Clintons have baggage

    1. YAWN!… Amazing, isn’t it?

    2. Hello.

      “BREAKING NEWS: Clintons have baggage”

      But it never seems to get lost.

      1. Their bags fly free!

    3. It’s all a right wing conspiracy

      1. OH, I see what you did there.

        1. That’s what is sick– Hillary went on the Today Show and alleged that “a vast right-wing conspiracy” was responsible for the stories that Bill spooged on Monica’s dress.

          After Gennifer Flowers. After Paula Jones. After Juanita Brodderick. After Kathleen Willey.

          She went on national TV and lied her ass off,

          And has never been called on it!

  2. 170 alleged biker gang members in Waco were charged with organized crime resulting in death in the wake of a deadly weekend brawl at the local Twin Peaks restaurant. The charge comes with the death penalty as a possible sentence.

    I heard they are all plea bargaining to talking backwards.

    1. Fucking amazing that they are charged with organized crime, but the Clintons aren’t.

      Seriously, WTF? Any one of those bikers would be a better and less corrupt President than another Clinton.

      1. What difference, at this point, does it make?

      2. Government organized crime has VOTING as an advantage; ergo DEMOCRACY.

    2. So are these bikers thugs? Is their behavior due to pathologies in white culture? Or is it due to the long one party GOP rule there?

      1. I blame underfunded public schools.

      2. I have it on good authority that it is entirely the fault of my one white friend, Tokenski.

        1. Yeah, I have it on good authority that are no black motorcycle gangs.

          1. I’m still blaming Tokenski, WTF. In fact, I now claim he photoshopped those pictures for which you provided a link, just to hide his Cis-Patriarchal-Saltine-Illuminati machinations

            1. That bastard!

      3. I blame the school to restaurant pipeline.

        1. The answers is low infrastructure spending. If these fellows had a better funded Amtrak they would never have found biker gangs appealing.

          1. Don’t forget the crushing burden of student loan debt! Obviously, college tuition should be free.

          2. What’s really missing from our society is a cheap alternative to motorcycles.

            1. Mopeds.
              Fund mopeds so everyone can own a moped. They could form their own gangs…with names like the Evil Emos.

              1. I call Bad Mods for my Vespa gang.

                1. Well I’m claiming Hipsters Who Hit! for my fixie bikes with brighly-colored rims gang.

                  We take shit from no one. One time this guy looked at us wrong, so we dragged him by a recyling bin behind an indie coffee shop and beat him senseless with artisenal-baked baguette loaves. (They were stale.)

                  1. Oh yeah well we’re gonna take you out (via a series of scathing articles submitted to VICE).

                    1. THAT would certainly escalate things, chief. You would leave us no choice but to snap candid pics of you wearing athletic gear or sports team apparel UN-ironically and then post those photos on Instagram. Instant pariah status will result.

                      Better that your Bad Mods should go into business with us. We’re looking for some smuggled-in fair trade, shade-grown coffee and green tea. If you can help with the supply, we can move the gourmet goods. We’ll cut you in on the action and also donate 10% to charity.

      4. “So are these bikers thugs?”

        Yes.

        “Is their behavior due to pathologies in white culture?”

        It’s due to pathologies in the culture of whatever town they’re from. There aren’t many biker gangs in my suburb, which tells me that the types of places producing biker gangs probably do have shitty, fucked up cultures.

        “Or is it due to the long one party GOP rule there?”

        Pretty much all the most violent cities in America are run by Democrats. I don’t think one random shootout changes the actual statistical evidence, do you?

        It’s always cute when you think you have a ‘gotcha’ moment which really just proves that it’s amazing you’re smart enough to tie your shoes and breathe at the same time.

        1. Irish, which article are you responding to?

        2. Hey now he can chew bubblegum and walk at the same time, if he can do that the shoe tying thing should be a cinch.

        3. Of course you missed the point. It was mocking the overheated rhetoric that follows any big ‘blacks behaving badly’ event in comparison to when it’s a ‘whites behaving badly’ event.

          1. Except there won’t be mass protests about their incarceration, neither the event nor the gangs had the community’s support or complicity, the violence was a lightning flash rather than a smoldering burn, and whites inside and out of Waco will be rooting for swift convictions. No pharmacies were or will be looted and torched, the police quickly gained control without interference, and the political impetus, to the extent there is any, isn’t weighted heavily toward one party. The “blacks behaving badly” line isn’t a reason to beat blacks around the head with bad news, it’s acknowledging the abysmal failures of racial politicking and drug-war policing.

      5. So are these bikers thugs?

        Absolutely.

        Is their behavior due to pathologies in white culture?

        Yes. Thanks to welfare uber alles liberals like yourself, the white underclass has become just about as fucked up as the black underclass is.

        1. I blame David Allen Coe

        2. I don’t support a cent of welfare, but nice try.

          1. Yeah, I bet you don’t.

      6. If the news accounts are right, this goes beyond thuggishness and into murder.

        Whatever culture these guys grew up in is messed up.

        But yeah, as a white person I automatically stick up for white killers – solidarity, brother!

        1. I’ve always wondered how things work. Do you fellows have a secret handshake (or something less obvious, like a furtive gesture) that you must use before being admitted into your posh plotting parlors?

          1. I never go to the White People meetings – they’re always scheduled at the same time as my Opus Dei conspiracy plotting.

    3. They’d never charge a group of cops who shot somebody with “organized crime resulting in death”.

      1. Guns discharged, bullets impacted, blood was lost, death occurred.

        Passive tense, Ted, passive tense.

      2. HA! Like they’re organized!

        1. They organize quite well when it comes to defending one of their own.

      3. We still don’t know how many bikers were shot by other bikers and how many were shot by the cops.

        1. My guess is that the guys killed inside the restaurant were killed by other bikers.

          I expect that a majority of the ones killed outside were killed by the cops.

          1. Probably a pretty good guess.

    4. I imagine that most of them can easily plead self-defense. It’s basically an out of control brawl. Murder? I don’t think they’ll even have a prima facie case for the vast majority.

      1. It depends on their responsibility for starting the brawl in the first place.

      2. I would imagine the prosecution will be playing this up as a RICO case or something like it

  3. 56) Next time you hear about police firing at a suspect and hitting innocent bystanders, remember that in Waco, multiple motorcycle gangs were firing wildly in a crowded shopping area, and hit nobody but other gang members. Great aim? Lucky coincidence? Or is it that motorcycle gang members have more incentive not to hit innocents than cops do?

    1. The evidence suggests a gradual escalation which permitted bystanders to flee.

      1. just good brawl manners.

    2. Regarding your thought yesterday, I was going to respond before the server squirrels fucked the place up that you need to watch more pre-Code movies. Jean Harlow in Red-Headed Woman would be a good start, as she has an affair with the chauffeur and, when she gets slapped by her husband (Chester Morris), she responds, “Do it again! I like it!”

      The movie also has a half-second of Jean Harlow sideboob.

      1. This is why I keep coming back here despite retards like Bo/Shriek/Tony/JoefromLowell. I have yet to see a film recommendation from you that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy. Thanks again Ted.

      2. “Red-Headed Woman”

        Somewhere Auric just perked up.

  4. Because you can never have enough Clinton…

    Bossy II: The Bitch Is Back


    Staff ‘quit’ Clinton Foundation over Chelsea’s ‘unpleasantness’

    Chelsea has embraced all the trappings of a corporate CEO, with a personal staff almost as big as her father’s. “He has six. She has five,”

    1. Over/under on the age she gets elected senator?

      1. She’ll have to move out of New York, or hope that Schumer dies soon.

        1. You found the silver lining!

        2. Why can’t we have both?

    2. She must be, and I admit I’m just guessing here, utterly insufferable.

      Call it a hunch.

      1. What probably makes her completely insufferable is that (like her mother), she has done absolutely nothing to earn her wealth and privilege. Nothing worse than an arrogant princess.

        1. It must really suck to be rich and young and have guys like us bitch about it.

          1. I don’t care until they try to rule guys like us.

      2. I actually feel sorry for her. The girl never had a chance; she grew up immersed in the toxic culture of her horrible corrupt parents and their phalanx of enablers and flatterers; her father’s position created a barrier between her and the rest of the world; it would have taken great strength of character not to be twisted and perverted by such a blighted upbringing.

        Their fall will be her fall. My prediction is a dark battle with substance abuse, and a desperate poverty in her later years.

        1. Then she can write a book about it, and then comes the lecture circuit.

    3. I have often heard a defense of the Clintons along the lines that even if they’re scuzzy, corrupt, or whatever, you can tell that deep down they are good people because they raised their daughter so well. But apparently, she’s turned out to be as entitled as her parents.

      1. Some guy argued that it doesn’t matter the Clintons are involved in corruption in Haiti because they’re helping people and even went as far to tell others, ‘what have you done’?

        I’m sure he then turns around and howls about the Koch brothers.

    4. Really, what chance did Chelsea ever have? Can you imagine the influences to which she was exposed as a child? Having the Hilldebeast as your mother and role model must have been emotionally and psychologically crippling.

      1. And a scumbag father. No one talks about it, but I’m sure his rapey behavior had to leave some emotional scars on some level, no?

    5. More like Bossy II: Boss Harder.

      A source at NBC, where Chelsea was paid $600,000 a year, said, “If someone wanted to talk to Chelsea about something, they had to go through a producer.”

      For Bill Clinton loyalists who grew the foundation from nothing, the high turnover and the ethical questions over its funding are demoralizing. “It’s sad to see what’s happening. The operational planning has gone downhill,” said a source.

      Instead of being something Hillary can point to with pride, the foundation has become a bloated slush fund that some critics say deserves an official investigation. And Chelsea’s fingerprints are all over it.

      Has the org “become a bloated slush fund,” or did it start out that way, and now it’s only just coming to light?

      1. It started out as a skinny slush fund and bloated as they got people to give them cash.

        1. WINNER!

      2. It started out that way. That’s how the Clintons have always made their living.

      3. It’s gonna be delicious when mom and pop throw daughter right under that bus.

        1. She’ll come right back at em, and I’m sure she’s got dirt.

          1. Err…no she won’t. She’ll tow the family lion and take her lumps so mom can get elected.

            1. Because… President Chelsea.

              /shudder

      4. So much illegality, so much unethical behavior, so little prosecution.

    6. After the collapse and substance addiction, will anyone pay to view her pron?

    7. It takes a village to launder that much money.

  5. 170 alleged biker gang members in Waco were charged with organized crime resulting in death…

    Sons of Anarchy makes it seem more glamorous.

    1. I wonder what cover of a song done in an unexpected genre was playing over the montage.

      1. Sung by Katey Sagal, of course.

  6. Idaho History: Frontier violence was often induced by alcohol

    On July 30, 1870, the Statesman wrote, “Notwithstanding the exceedingly warm weather on Thursday, no less than seven fights occurred on Main Street. Three of them were engaged in by men, and the dogs finished out the number before night. A man that can summon the energy to indulge in a knock down at this stage in the weather ought to have his edge taken off in the harvest field.”

    There is ample evidence from early Idaho newspapers that saloons were dangerous places, especially since some men got short-tempered and violent after a few drinks, and nearly all of the men around them were armed with a pistol or a knife.

    ah the good old days…

    1. I suspect it was the potato, not Demon Rum!

      1. not Demon Rum!

        Vodka…gotta use those potatoes for something good

        1. I’ve read that 303 Whiskey (made from potatoes) is very good.

          1. But maybe it’s not really whiskey.

          2. Technically, if it’s made from potatoes, isn’t it vodka?

            1. No. Because that would make grain vodka not vodka. They probably stuff the fermented product into wooden barrels to destroy the flavor, making it whiskey.

              1. *narrows gaze, looks for brass knuckles*

        2. I’m not so sure about that…
          http://youtu.be/pxanQao9kUs

    2. “…no less than seven fights occurred on Main Street. Three of them were engaged in by men, and the dogs finished out the number before night.”

      So what was the dogs’ excuse?

      1. They didn’t have laws against providing alcohol to dogs, back in the old West.

        1. Many years ago, My Dad gave a little beer to our Boxer. It had quite a reaction – If it had been in the days of phone cameras, I would have had a 1,000,000 hit video.

          1. Dogs love alcohol, especially beer. My Chihuahua will drink 50/50 whiskey and coke until she passes out. The boxer/bulldog would drink a six pack a day if I would give it to him.

            1. My old roommate’s Chihuahua was a raging alcoholic exhibitionist. Whenever we had any friends visit my roommate would feed him about 1/2 bottle of shitty lager. Once his dog saw that we had company he would scamper over to his little bed, pull his favorite stuffed plush toy out to the middle of the living room and proceed to hump the daylights out of it right up to the money shot at the end. It never ceased being funny. The dog was even considerate enough to put his toy away afterward, likely knowing that none of us would dare touch that disgusting thing.

          2. Be careful, Alcohol is toxic to dogs, my wife works at a Veterinary Emergency Hospital and sees it more often than you would think.

    3. It’s amazing how socially acceptable it was to be blackout shitfaced drunk every hour of every day prior to the Temperance movement. Prohibition was obviously retarded, obviously, but there was a real problem.

      1. Society is one giant pendulum. There are brief moments where we’re at the middle, more often than not we hang from one side or another it seems.

        1. “Society is one giant pendulum.”

          I was thinking of this just last week after reading yet another article about trigger words, microaggressions, and hypersensitivity in general. I’m seeing our overall culture at or nearing an extreme of hypersensitivity with vindictive reactionaries ready to punish those who offend their sensibilities.

          From reading books written long ago and seeing older movies, I have the impression that most people operated at the near opposite end of this spectrum.

          What scattered parts of Confucian philosophy I read speaks to your point, Idle Hands, and if correct then we should start seeing a swing back toward the center and moderation before too terribly long.

          http://www.acmuller.net/con-dao/docofmean.html

          1. I would like to believe that, except that the left has such a firm grip over media and culture and therfore over what is deemed acceptable & I don’t see that going away any time soon.

      2. It’s much better now that you can’t walk down the street with a beer. Here in Taiwan, the police have been known to give someone a ride home and they didn’t even have to throw my, err… their drink away. 24 hour liquor (sadly, 7-11 doesn’t usually carry tequila or lemons) and beer almost everywhere, at eighteen years old. I guess it’s just a cultural thing.

        1. American smokes $1.50 a pack.

    4. Ah, it must have taken a lot of shoe leather to discover the connection between alcohol and deadly brawls.

      1. Yeah, I previously had no idea they might be connected!

      2. That’s why cops prefer pot arrests.

    5. And thus we get Section 24 of the Idaho Constitution:

      PROMOTION OF TEMPERANCE AND MORALITY. The first concern of all good government is the virtue and sobriety of the people, and the purity of the home. The legislature should further all wise and well directed efforts for the promotion of temperance and morality.

  7. Federal investigators do not believe a bullet or any other projectile struck the window of the Amtrak train…

    But the terrorism alert level is remaining at chartreuse just to be sure.

    1. Isn’t that a magenta alert?

    2. Now, I get it. The driver was speeding around that bend to get the hell past Philadeplphia as fast as possible.

  8. Why do men exist? Scientific study offers an explanation

    A system where all offspring are produced without sex — as in all-female asexual populations — would be far more efficient at reproducing greater numbers of offspring, the scientists said.

    But in research published in the journal Nature on Monday, they found that sexual selection, in which males compete to be chose by females for reproduction, improves the gene pool and boosts population health, helping explain why males are important.

    An absence of selection — when there is no sex, or no need to compete for it — leaves populations weaker genetically, making them more vulnerable to dying out.

    1. It’s not really clear to me what this study is showing that I didn’t learn in Biology in the ninth grade.

    2. sexual selection, in which males compete

      How are we to create a utopia of equality if there are to be winners and losers?!?!?! Science is evil.

      1. Science is evil.

        Unless it is being corrupted to confiscate wealth and freedom, then it is good.

    3. Also, if men didn’t exist humanity would still be living in caves.

      1. If men didn’t exist there wouldn’t be any humans.

        1. There would be if there was “A system where all offspring are produced without sex — as in all-female asexual populations “

      2. Caves with *moss curtains*, thank you very much!

      3. With pickle jars left hopelessly unopened.

    4. We exist because we have cocks.

      Reworked: I have a penis, therefore I am.

      1. So you have a large pen is that really a valid reason to prove your existence?

      2. “Habeo penis, ergo sum”

    5. Now when the squeeze says “You just love me because of my penis”, and I say “Duuuh!”, I have science behind me!

      1. The science is settled!

    6. It’s very simple. Men exist to have sex.

      1. +1 Special Purpose

        1. He’ll be able to send more money in his next letter because his girlfriend is giving him a certain type of job.

      2. Futuo ergo sum.

  9. A man visiting Seattle says he told an armed robber he was from St. Louis and would fist fight the man if he tried to rob him. He wasn’t robbed.

    I knew Episiarch was a pussy.

    1. In Epi’s defense, Fist, the man identified himself as Ryan Reaves: http://bilibr.com/meanest-enforcers-in-the-nhl/3

      1. Yet the Blues keep choking in the playoffs.

        1. Just maybe its the coaching

  10. Thousands of Shi’ite militia fighters are headed to Ramadi to battle the forces of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, which took over the Iraqi provincial capital over the weekend.

    Saddam, we’re sorry. We fucked up. We didn’t know what we were doing.

    USA

    1. Dreams are a great thing, but you know something? They take a lot of energy. But that’s OK. There’s a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn’t require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? OK? Thank you.

    2. BUUUUUUTTTPPPLLLLLUUUUUGG

    3. I am actually kind of surprised not to hear something this wimpy and lame come out of Obama. It would be entirely in character.

  11. Riot Day 2: The Riotening is set to open today. It looks retarded.

    1. George Kollias (Nile drummer) has his new album streaming here.

      It’s very good, and it’s funny how it’s way better than Nile’s recent albums.

      1. It’s not that Nile ever got bad, it’s just that…how many songs can you write about how Set is going to rip out your entrails, you know?

        This is pretty fun so far.

    2. “Reggie Rucker, former Cleveland Browns receiver and leader of the anti-violence group Cleveland Peacemakers Alliance, attended Monday’s meeting. He said the frustration felt in the city’s black community is a symptom of a broader stress caused by living in under-served, inner-city neighborhoods, and a years-long void of police officers and members of those communities trying to understand each other.

      “”We have white police officers, and black men, and they are at war with each other,” he said.”

      What a letdown – focusing on the tired racial angle.

      Are black cops in Cleveland less violent than the white ones? If so, the article doesn’t seem to be offering any evidence.

      1. And speaking of cops – I get the idea that some (not all) of these “community leaders” are playing Good Cop to the rioters’ Bad Cop – “well, if you acquit these officers we’ll certainly *try* to prevent any violence, but our people sure are upset, and we’re not sure we can stop a riot. It would be nicer for everyone if the defendants got convicted and we got more social spending, know what I mean?”

  12. U.K. Inflation Falls Below Zero for First Time Since 1960

    Consumer prices declined 0.1 percent in April from a year earlier, the Office for National Statistics said in London on Tuesday. Economists had forecast the rate to be zero, according to the median of 35 estimates in a Bloomberg News survey. Core inflation slowed to 0.8 percent, the lowest since 2001.

    With inflation so far below the Bank of England’s 2 percent target, policy makers are under little immediate pressure to raise the key interest rate from a record-low 0.5 percent. Governor Mark Carney said last week that any period of falling prices will be temporary and an expected pickup in inflation at the end of the year means the next move in borrowing costs is likely to be an increase.

    so what’s so great about inflation again?

    1. BUY YER GOLD BOYS! WE’RE HYPERINFLATIN’!

      1. Let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country!

      2. BBBUUUUTTTPPPLLUUUUGGGGGG

  13. The European Union has agreed to use its naval forces to intercept migrant ships headed across the Mediterranean, return the passengers to ports in Africa, and destroy the vessels.

    Europe is all full up, I guess.

    1. Remember, these are our moral and intellectual superiors according to Obama and all the lefty douchenozzles who worship him, and we should aspire to be more like them.

      1. You mean the Deporter-in-Chief thinks that?

        Are you brain dead?

        1. Yep, I’m talking about you Weigel!

        2. BBBBBBUUUUUTTTTPPPLLLLUUUUGGGGGG

      2. Sounds like they’re being more like us.

        “Le frickin humide-back, ze took mon jerbz!”

    2. Europe is all full up, I guess.

      How bad does it have to be in Africa that living in Europe, despised and marginalized, is an improvement.

    3. Frogs are the most vile racists I have ever come across. When I was there as an exchange student in ’87, they were obsessed with Ay-rabs. I haven’t been to the Vaterland, but I hear tell they have a pretty healthy hate on for Turks.

  14. A man visiting Seattle says he told an armed robber he was from St. Louis and would fist fight the man if he tried to rob him

    I guess it could have sounded like he said he was the descendant of Joe Louis.

    1. What about Rocky Marciano?

      1. I always confused him and Rocky Graziano

        1. As long as you don’t confuse them with Rocky Balboa and, perhaps depending on alcohol level, Rocky J. (The Flying) Squirrel.

      2. Clarence: You must be out your goddamn mind! Joe Louis, the greatest boxer that ever lived. [to Akeem and Semmi] I’ll be with you boys in a minute. He was badder than Cassius Clay, he was badder than Sugar Ray, and that new boy-what’s his name? Mike Tyson?-looks like a bulldog; he was badder than him, too.
        Saul: Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky Marciano?
        Clarence: Oh, there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin’ ’bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out they ass. That’s their one, that’s their one. Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano! Let me tell you something, once and for all-Rocky Marciano was good; but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain’t shit.
        Saul: He beat Joe Louis’ ass.
        Morris: That’s right, he did whoop Joe Louis’ ass.
        Clarence: Joe Louis was 75 years old when they fought.
        Morris: I don’t know how old he was, but he got his ass whooped.
        Clarence: Joe Louis had come out of retirement to fight Rocky Marciano the minute he was 76 years old. Joe Louis was always lying about his age. He lied about his age all the time. One time Frank Sinatra came in here and sat in this chair. I said Frank ‘you hang out with Joe Louis, just between me and you, how old is Joe Louis?’ You know what Frank told me, he said “Hey, Joe Louis is 137 years old.” A hundred and thirty-seven years old!
        Sweets: Oh. Man, you lying, you ain’t never meet no Frank Sinatra.
        Clarence: [points to Morris, Saul and Sweets] Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! Who’s next?!

        1. Eddie Murphy at the height of his powers.

          1. Yes.

          2. He played every character in that barbershop right?

            1. Indeed he did.

            2. Except for the other barber. The bald one. That guy was a random actor.

              1. Are you forgetting Arsenio Hall?

                1. Are you forgetting Arsenio Hall?

                  I was succeeding too until you brought him up again.

    2. So here’s my St. Louis to Seattle connection story: back in 2009, I was living with my friend Jon in St. Louis. Jon had this smoking hot, yet unfortunately batshit crazy girlfriend who got an internship in Seattle for the summer. Anyway, Jon goes out to visit her and when she drops Jon off at the airport, she waits a bit longer and….picks up the other guy she was fucking on the side who flew in to see her. Jon found out later from a friend of the crazy bitch and needless to say, things got all kinds of interesting after that.

      1. Sorry, wrong magazine. This is Reason, not Penthouse Letters. But do go on…

  15. Judge sentences 11 Afghan police over lynching of woman in Kabul

    An Afghan judge sentenced 11 police on Tuesday to one year in jail for failing to prevent the mob killing of a woman in Kabul who was accused of burning a Koran.

    Judge Safiullah Mujadidi freed eight other officers accused of failure to carry out their duty for lack of evidence.

    The lynching in March of the 27-year-old woman, named Farkhunda, sparked outrage and demonstrations in the Afghan capital even before it was revealed that she had not desecrated Islam’s holy book.

    1. The SCOTUS, on the other hand, has ruled that in America police have absolutely no obligation to protect anyone.

      1. A good point to bring up next Tulpa appearance.

  16. Hey Tundra, nice performance by USA at the IIHF tournament. Not bad for a bunch of college kids.

    Canada is on another planet these days in hockey. Total dominance.

  17. State Department plans to release Hillary Clinton’s emails in January 2016

    “I want the public to see my email. I asked State to release them.”

    With all due respect, since H’s lawyers have already “reviewed” them, release them immediately.

    1. For fuck’s sake, could she be an any more transparently corrupt POS?

    2. Didi she get her years mixed up? Shouldn’t that say “January 2017”?

      1. Hi, KK. I emailed you about the pizza place (for the name) in South Hero. Hope you don’t mind.

        1. Oh, sorry Rufus – I don’t usually check that email.

          It’s Pan’s South Hero Pizza

          1. Thanks. I’m generally in the area so maybe I’ll check it out one day.

  18. Spot the Not: wacky taxes

    1. a tax on sliced bagels

    2. a tax on crack cocaine (so drug dealers could legally report income)

    3. a tax on playing cards

    4. a tax on food purchased from vending machines

    5. a tax on tattoos

    6. a tax on tethered hot air balloons

    1. 2

      I have heard of cannabis taxes, even in states where it is still unlawful.

    2. 1. Is real, NYS Sales Tax does not apply to foods not ‘prepared’ on site, like unsliced bagels, but does apply to restaurant preparation, even as banal as slicing the bagel.

      3. Is real, It was initially enforced by only permitting the use of an ace of spades printed by the tax people in the sale of the deck.

      I think 2 is the not, since the line on that return would be “Other taxable income” or “income from illegal sources”

    3. #3 was part of the Stamp Act, and therefore a cause of the American Revolution.

    4. I’ve heard about illegal-drug taxes and (much earlier) playing-card taxes. The vending machine tax sounds plausible. The sliced-bagel things sounds plausible, since it turns one item into a sandwich which may have a higher tax. I’ll go for 6.

    5. I’m going with 6 as well.

    6. The Not is #4. Although California does tax *fruit* purchased from vending machines.

      The crack tax was put in place in Tennessee in 2005. It was struck down by the state supreme court in 2009:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_tax

      The tethered hot air balloon tax is from Kansas. Un-tethered balloons are considered legitimate transport and are not taxed.

    7. Imma say 4, because you’d have to tax prepackaged food based where it was sold, prior to it being sold.

      Also, prove it was sold from a vending machine?

    8. It’s a trick question: Since all of these things exist, they have all been taxed.

    9. 6. It seems that 2 is too obvious.

  19. The European Union has agreed to use its naval forces to intercept migrant ships headed across the Mediterranean, return the passengers to ports in Africa, and destroy the vessels.

    You know who else intercepted ships and destroyed them?

    1. The Shadows?

      1. +1 Saturday morning cartoons overdose.

      2. Or maybe this?

        Sub Search

      3. The key is to put the little 2-hit boat off on its own in a corner.

        1. Not in the corner exactly, just off the corner, so that the four corner shots don’t tag it.

    2. US Navy fleet boats in the Pacific during WWII?

    3. Das Boot?

    4. The Affront?

    5. Overly broad DMCA takedown orders?

  20. Backlash Against Facebook’s Free Internet Service Grows

    On Monday, 65 advocacy organizations in 31 countries released an open letter to Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg protesting Internet.org?an effort to bring free internet service to the developing world?saying the project “violates the principles of net neutrality, threatening freedom of expression, equality of opportunity, security, privacy, and innovation.”

    With Internet.org, Facebook is partnering with various wireless carriers and other organizations to provide an app that offers free access to certain internet services, including Facebook, on mobile phones in developing countries. But this spring, a group of publishers in India pulled out of the program, saying it violated the principles of net neutrality?the notion that internet providers should treat all online services equally.

    1. “Stop giving out stuff for free”?!

      Thank God these selfless Net Nuetralians are looking out for the poor of the world!

    2. In other Facebook news: Oculus Has No Plans to Block Virtual Reality Porn

      according to Oculus founder Palmer Luckey.

      “Palmer Luckey”. Of course.

      1. Oculus Has No Plans to Block Virtual Reality Porn cut it’s own throat!

        FTFY

    3. Luddites and slavers, the lot of them.

    4. These people are too stupid to live.

  21. he was barred from working at the State Department but was employed by the Clinton Foundation and Media Matters

    blumdog17?

  22. Oakland Airport Baggage Handlers Among 14 Charged In Marijuana Smuggling Conspiracy

    U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of California Melinda Haag announced Monday 14 people have been charged in an alleged conspiracy to transport marijuana throughout the country, beginning as early as July 2012.

    According to a criminal complaint partially unsealed Monday, baggage handlers carrying luggage with marijuana would access an operations area of the airport off-limits to security-screened passengers.

    The handlers would allegedly use their security badges to enter the terminal area where screened passengers awaited their outbound flights. The baggage handlers would then hand off the luggage containing the marijuana to passengers to transport as carry-on items.

  23. America’s worst political cartoonist strikes again.

    1. Hey?! I clicked but it was neither Bok nor Payne!

      1. Why did he use a photo of Hildog? Did he run out of time to draw her, or is it done for deliberate effect? Does he mean to suggest that Georgie sees her as different than other humans? What does it mean that Georgie wants her on the $20 bill? He likes giving her money so much that he wants to put her on money and then give her that money? I don’t get it.

        1. He’s deep, man, deep… Art makes you think!

          Actually, you are correct about the miserable quality of his drawing.

          1. Right? Look at this fucking shit. Just look at it.

            1. He has a thing for rather large, puppet looking heads.

        2. NEEDZ MOAR LABELZ!1!

    2. This makes even the palsied hand of Joel Pett look good.

  24. http://www.reddit.com/r/explai…..e_minimum/

    Can you find the derpiest comments?

    1. There is a subreddit where stupid people ask stupid people to stupidly explain things in a stupid way to them? Christ.

    2. No, because i still love life and am not looking for reasons to shoot myself in the face.

  25. Preaching to the Choir
    ISIS’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, sounds like a Republican candidate for president.

    The Republicans don’t just call the enemy Islamic. They criticize Clinton and Obama for preaching coexistence. At last weekend’s South Carolina Freedom Summit, they laughed off the Crusades and defended mockery of Islam. Carly Fiorina, a former Republican Senate nominee now running for president, demanded to know why Clinton has advocated “religious tolerance” and “the need to empathize with our enemies while Christians are being beheaded and crucified.”

    Republicans who talk this way think they’re being tough. In reality, however, they’re aiding the enemy. They’re doing for ISIS what they did for al-Qaida: assisting its recruitment, social media, and political strategy. Rhetorically, ISIS and the GOP are in perfect harmony.

    1. Saletan seems like he’s insulting the GOP, but this is really a slam on ISIS. He is terribly disappointed that they haven’t driven the Jews out of Palestine yet. Saletan wants the Holocaust Pt. 2 while he is still young enough to molest the starved corpses.

      1. Good grief, another Rev. Al around here to hunt the world’s perceived anti-Semites as good ol’ Al does the racists.

    2. Saletan makes a point, though it’s framed wrong. There’s a reason why the Bush and Obama administration both didn’t want to make general condemnations of Islam: because it’s absolutely true that Islamic extremists use the idea that the West loathes Islam generally as a recruiting talking point, and our conflict with them would be more costly and difficult without key Islamic allies.

      1. Indeed – I think that some Westerners play into the Islamists’ hands with their “moderate Muslims just don’t know their own religion” rhetoric.

        But I’d like to see the specific quotes from the people Saletan denounces. For instance, “enemies” could refer to the extremists, not all Muslims.

  26. How untaxed cigarettes can lead to funding terrorism

    Let me get a little preachy for a minute because that’s the mood I’m in: If you buy cigarettes for a price that is obviously too good to be true, and if you buy knockoff pocketbooks on Canal Street or other faux luxury items around the city, your money could be going to terrorists.

    1. AND you just might be a redneck.

    2. So that’s why the cops had to kill Eric Garner for selling loosies!

      1. How much does a loosie cost?

    3. And I thought it couldn’t get any dumber than the “buying marijuana funds terrorists” commercial a few years back.

      1. Forget it Andrew S., it’s NY Post-land.

  27. Rand Paul’s Iraq problem: Jeb Bush & Marco Rubio have company in GOP’s hall of shame

    Is there even a point to Rand Paul anymore? His appeal as a politician has long been his self-styled reputation as “a different kind of Republican” who would strategically deploy his libertarian alter ego and break with the GOP on a few select issue areas. What made Rand Paul “dangerous,” according to Rand Paul’s people, was that he was Republican enough on taxes and spending to hang on to conservative voters, but he could also eat into traditionally Democratic constituencies with his views on national security and criminal justice reform, which were well outside party orthodoxy. But the story of Rand Paul as a presidential candidate has been his slow, steady abandonment of his libertarian-ish views and his collapse as a Republican renegade.

    …snip…

    Since then he’s been shuffling and inching toward a more aggressive military posture toward the Islamic State. And now, according to Bloomberg’s Dave Weigel, Rand Paul thinks that the Iraq War actually could provide a valuable clue for how to beat ISIS:

    1. Is there even a point to Rand Paul anymore?

      Well, Salon hates him as much as ever. That’s as good a point as anything else.

      1. More than ever. I may have to send him more money.

      2. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..oel-gehrke

        Paul Doubles Down on Anti-NSA Message

        That right there earns my vote.

  28. Spot the Not: wacky regulations

    1. children in daycare centers must brush their teeth after lunch with approved toothpaste provided by the state

    2. all panhandlers must have a license and complete a 100 hour training course

    3. all sellers of pumpkins and Christmas trees must have a license

    4. fishermen must call the authorities to release whales that get caught in their nets.

    5. entrepreneurs must purchase a license to go OUT of business, pay a fee, and pay a tax on all discounted merchandise sold

    6. all interior decorators must have a license

      1. 2. Are you going to tell us the answer one of these times?

    1. I know 5 is real. I forget which state it was.

    2. 2. That’s too great a burden on one of the few acceptable classes of economic players.

    3. I’m stuck between 1 and 2. I’ll guess 1, because I don’t want to conform with everyone else and 2 sounds so stupid that it can only have come from government.

    4. I’ve heard of 2 and 6, except that I wasn’t aware panhandlers had to take training courses for their license. So let me say…

      2

      1. Panhandling is relatively unskilled. Maybe a one-day course, with a free lunch, and dinner, so they don’t leave after lunch.

    5. 2 is the Not. Prize for the winners:

      http://www.businessinsider.com…..10-11?op=1

      #8 Untangling Whale Restriction
      A U.S. District Court judge slapped a $500 fine on Massachusetts fisherman Robert J. Eldridge for untangling a giant whale from his nets and setting it free. So what was his crime? Well, according to the court, Eldridge was supposed to call state authorities and wait for them do it.

      #11 License to Close a Business
      The city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin makes it incredibly difficult to go out of business. In order to close down a business, Milwaukee requires you to purchase an expensive license, you must submit a huge pile of paperwork to the city regarding the inventory you wish to sell off, and you must pay a fee based on the length of your “going out of business sale” plus a two dollar charge for every $1,000 worth of inventory that you are attempting to sell off.

      1. Bridesmaids would have been so much funnier if they had ditched the Irish cop storyline in favor of a comedy of errors “going out of business” plot.*

        *The bakery that went out of business in the movie was in Milwaukee

        1. It might have been a decent comedy if they brought Mark Twain and Voltaire back from the dead to rewrite the script, and had the 3 Stooges and Monty Python act in it.

          I have not seen this movie, but I know in my bones it is horrid.

          1. From the title, I probably couldn’t sit through the trailer.

          2. The food poisoning scene is a cinematic classic. Worth the price of admission (free, when it’s on TV) alone.

          3. Your bones are incorrect.

  29. People play into the Clinton’s hands by making the most extreme criticisms of their behavior, contributing to the narrative they like that the criticism is just the right wing which hates her and relentlessly tosses a new ‘worst scandal ever’ at her every week. But I’ve been getting some traction with Democrats by simply asking two questions: 1. Given her attempts to keep limit access over her emails while SoS, how do you think she will govern on matters of secrecy and transparency? and 2. Given her Foundations questionable donations how do you see her as reforming campaign finance (which she is recently starting to sell herself with)?

    1. But I’ve been getting some traction with Democrats by simply asking two questions

      I’m sure you have.

      1. Question 3, do you know as much about British buggery laws as I do?

        1. What an inane response. My only comment about buggery law was that the prohibition on abortion was listed in the section with bigamy and buggery in early English criminal law (which we read about in law school). I know you’re a pro-life fanatic that would like such history to be downplayed but try harder maybe.

          1. HURR DURRR!1! Y U neglekt UR kidz bro?!?

  30. What segregation looks like in ‘post-racial’ America

    The disconnect between the friendliness I saw among Montgomery County’s neighbors and the overt segregation I discovered in its community fascinated and haunted me. It hinted at dark communal secrets and painful, untold individual stories. When I began photographing Montgomery County High School students in 2002, the cultural conversation about racism in America felt like a distant history lecture. This was, in the here and now, injustice and painful humiliation endured by kids I knew.

    When I began this project, racism in America seemed like a taboo subject. That’s why I was determined to get underneath the surface as I returned to South Georgia again and again. And that’s why institutional racism?not just in the Deep South but across the country as well?is so pernicious. In our courts, plaintiffs are not even allowed to bring up race unless the defendant utters an explicit racial slur while committing the crime. The simple fact that our legal institutions don’t acknowledge that race plays a major role in our sense of justice shows the depth of the problem. There aren’t “Colored Only” entrances anymore, but it’s almost as bad when there is official silence on racism and segregation.

    1. If churches self segregate why can’t other institutions?

      1. Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!

      2. BBUUUUUTTPPPLLLUUUUUGGG

    2. In our courts, plaintiffs are not even allowed to bring up race unless the defendant utters an explicit racial slur while committing the crime.

      So, what’s the writer’s point here? That white plaintiffs don’t get to use a black defendant’s race against them? And since he is talking about crime, they’re not plaintiffs, they’re alleged victims. Salon is truly a black hole of derp.

    3. acknowledge that race plays a major role in our sense of justice

      THE FEELZ!!11!

  31. Rand Paul: Meh on abortion

    During a Q & A in Philadelphia at the National Constitution Center with a local radio host, Paul was asked if he will go out of his way to talk about the issue of abortion in the presidential campaign.

    “You know ? I will answer the question as honestly as I can,” Paul replied. “I didn’t run for office because of this issue. It wasn’t what got me to leave my practice. And I ran for office mainly because I became concerned that we’re going to destroy the country with debt.

    [snip]

    “I think the question that still divides us, and it’s a difficult question, is when does life begin,” Paul, an eye doctor, added. “I think we go down all kinds of rabbit holes talking about other stuff, but I’m an ophthalmologist, and I see one, two-pound babies in the neonatal nursery. I look into their eyes to try to prevent a form of blindness that is now preventable.”

    “And everybody agrees that that one-pound baby has rights,” he said. “If someone were to hurt that one-pound baby in the neonatal nursery, it’s a problem. That baby has rights. But we somewhat inconsistently say that seven-pound baby at birth or just before birth has no rights. And so I think these are questions we have to sort out. We just have to figure when we agree life begins.”

    FAKE LIBERTARIAN!!!

    1. Are there one pound viable fetuses? From what I’ve read, though I’m happy to be corrected, fetuses hit one pound around week 22-23 but the earliest surviving fetus was 21…

      More broadly, it’s thoughtful answers to tough questions like this that make me admire Paul so, though I’d bet they’re not the politically best to give. He’d probably be better off to give a vague ‘im committed to work to build a culture of life’ and move on.

      1. Not all babies develop at the same rate. That’s why some full term babies are 9lbs and others are 6lbs.

  32. IFH laughs at her antipodean cousins:

    Under-8s rugby game called off after adults storm field

    A junior rugby game was called off Saturday when adults stormed the field after an altercation between some of the young players.

    The game, played by under-8-year-olds from Ponsonby Rugby Club and Waitemata Rugby Club, came to an end minutes before the end of the match because of the incident.

    […]

    He understood that an adult from the Ponsonby team had “manhandled one of our kids”.

    He was stopped by the mother of the child, and there was an “altercation” between the two, Mr Mallabar said.

    However, he stressed he had only read one report into the incident.

    “Until you hear both sides, you don’t know.”

    […]

    It’s not the first time spectator’s tempers have flared at rugby matches. Four Auckland Grammar and five Kelston Boys’ players were banned in 2009 after scores of spectators waded into an on-field brawl between the boys.

    Police were called after a referee was punched in the face, allegedly by a spectator, at a rugby final between Auckland Grammar and De La Salle College last August.

    In June, two Porirua men attacked supporters and the coach of the opposing team at an under-11 game. The previous month a parent grabbed the ref’s throat at an under-10s match in Papatoetoe.

    1. Waitemata Rugby Club

      From Waitemata U.?

    2. Don’t mess with rugby in Kiwi land…

  33. So Stephanopolis makes around 15 million dollars a year.

    BC has plenty of reasons to be freaking out over the George Stephanopoulos scandal ? 105?million, to be exact.
    The “Good Morning America” and “This Week” anchor renewed his contract last year for $105 million, TV industry sources told The Post Monday.
    The seven-year deal ? which dwarfs the five-year, $50 million contract scored by since-suspended NBC rival Brian Williams ? was supposed to keep Stephanopoulos in front of ABC’s cameras through 2021.

    To be fair that’s probably how much a living wage costs these days.

      1. holy short man…

        1. Pound for pound though he’s probably the highest paid person in the country.

          1. What does Reich make?

            1. Chocolate bars

            2. He doesn’t make anything, except crap from both ends.

            3. Swastika armbands?

    1. And what on earth is George Stephanopoly’s unique skill that commands this premium? Oh wait…

      1. It’s not some weird coincidence that’s made the media so in bed with a political party and the government in general.

    2. Of course, suddenly the narrative switches back to ‘he earned that money’ for the left.

  34. Forecast in Australia: cloud with a chance of arachnids

    Forget cats and dogs?it was raining spiders recently in southern Australia, according to local news reports.

    Millions of spiders dropped from the sky in the Southern Tablelands region (map), blanketing the countryside with their webs. “They fly through the sky and then we see these falls of spiderwebs that look almost as if it’s snowing,” local resident Keith Basterfield told the Goulburn Post. (See “7 Bug and Spider Myths Squashed.”)

    Though many news reports have called them babies, the spiders are actually just “very, very small” adults called sheet-web weavers or money spiders, according to Robb Bennett, a research associate in entomology at the Royal British Columbia Museum in Victoria.

    It’s unclear what spurs these spiders take to the skies in what are called mass ballooning events, Bennett notes.

    But once they do, millions crawl to the highest points of their habitat?say a fence pole, or a tall plant?and send out silk strands that allow them to be lifted on air currents. (Also see “Photos: World’s Biggest, Strongest Spider Webs Found.”)

    “It’s a reverse-parachute effect?they’re going from the ground into the air,” Bennett said. “It’s awe-inspiring.”

    1. It would seem like flamethrowers would be flying off the shelves…

    2. DROP SPIDERS!

    3. I saw that movie. It has William Shattner, IIRC.

    4. How much clearer can Mother Nature make it? DO NOT GO TO AUSTRALIA.

  35. “It’s unclear what spurs these spiders take to the skies in what are called mass ballooning events, Bennett notes.”

    Duh, they are trying to escape the deadly continent of Australia!

  36. This Politician Just Said What Everyone Is Thinking About Game of Thrones

    Sen. Claire McCaskill is officially done with Game of Thrones.

    “Ok, I’m done Game of Thrones,” McCaskill said Tuesday morning on Twitter.
    “Water Garden, stupid.Gratuitous rape scene disgusting and unacceptable.It was a rocky ride that just ended.

    The Missouri Democrat sent out the stream of consciousness tweet Tuesday morning, likely after wrapping up the HBO series’ most recent episode, which featured a brutal wedding-night rape scene that many criticized.

    Oh, spoilers?

    1. So showing people burned alive and ripped apart is kosher, but depicting a wedding night rape scene is crossing the line?

      What about when Ramsay cuts off Theon’s penis (as well as other appendages)? That was two seasons ago.

      1. That was fine, because patriarchy.

        1. That was fine, because it was in the book?

      2. I still enjoy the show, but between the book readers who tell me the show is dumb because it strays too much from the books (even the books/parts of the books that suck) and the SJWs who shit their pants every time a rape scene occurs, it is wearing on me.

        1. What Ramsay did to Sansa on their wedding night is a fucking picnic compared to what happened with his wife on their wedding night in the books.

          1. Only problem now is, Ramsay is legitimized in the show, whereas in the book, he is only perceived to be, with fun revelations to come (hopefully).

        2. The show is starting to bore me. There are just too many characters and plot lines to adequately cover in a 50 minute show.

          Can’t we just skip to the end where the dragons devour Cersei?

          1. I do want more dragons.

            1. I haven’t seen any dragons in that show, just Wyverns. Do true dragons eventually turn up?

            2. They should make the show 70 minutes instead of 50, or just go to 80. Is it 50 minutes so it can be broadcast on networks that advertise? Whatever the excuse 50 minutes is just not enough.

      3. Wow, I feel so deprived for missing this series!

        1. I mean, Lord of the Rings is great and all, but where is the gratuitous nudity, the rape, and the penis-slicing?

    2. Am I supposed to care about McCaskill’s visceral reaction to fantasy TV violence?

      Twitter, allowing bloated egos to spew inane opinions into the aether since 2006.

    3. The TV show lost me too…. because this is a HUGE change to the storyline, completely changing the dynamics of the upcoming events.

  37. Not sure if I think this is sage commencement advice from Stephen Colbert

    “I hope you find the courage to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong, and then please, expect as much of the world around you. Try to make the world good according to your standards.”

    Those were some of the words of wisdom uttered by comedian Stephen Colbert during his commencement address to the graduates of North Carolina’s Wake Forest University on Monday.

    In a world full of uncertainty and people who want to tear you down, Colbert stressed the importance of developing your own set of values and beliefs.

    “People my age will sometimes say to you, ‘Hey, that work you did, that thing you said, that cause you championed — it’s not good,'” he said. “Having your own standards will help you weather moments like that ? [and will allow] you to perceive success where others may see failure.

    Erm, that sounds like a recipe for developing zero sense of self-awareness, which I guess is a trait largely characteristic of Colbert devotees.

    1. Translated Colbert:

      “Look into the mirror each day and repeat… I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people really like me”

      1. How do think Al Franken got elected to the Senate?

    2. Yay. Everyone gets their own “truth”.

  38. Heh.

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..50416.html

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer skank.

    1. Oh, bloody hell, I forgot the headline-

      The Worst Day of Hillary Clinton’s Campaign
      So far!

    2. Phake Scandulll

  39. Scientists envision large orbital laser cannon to destroy space debris

    Now researchers suggest the Extreme Universe Space Observatory (EUSO), scheduled to be installed on Japan’s module on the space station in 2017, could help the orbiting complex detect dangerous debris. They add that a powerful laser under development could then help shoot down this space garbage.

    “The EUSO telescope, which was originally designed to detect cosmic rays, could also be put to use for this useful project,” study lead author Toshikazu Ebisuzaki, an astrophysicist and chief scientist at the RIKEN (Rikagaku Kenky?sho) Computational Astrophysics Laboratory in Wako, Japan, told Space.com.

    EUSO was originally developed to detect ultraviolet light produced by ultrahigh-energy cosmic raysas they enter the atmosphere at night. The scientists reasoned that its wide range of view and powerful optics could also help it detect high-speed debris near the International Space Station.

    Once EUSO detects incoming space junk, the researchers suggest, a Coherent Amplification Network (CAN) laser can then blast the debris. The CAN laser consists of many small lasers working together to generate a single powerful beam. This device is currently under development to drive particles at high speeds in atom smashers.

    1. A European Orbital Laser Cannon…what could go wrong?

      1. They start selling them to American police departments?

    2. Scare headline: “Japan to Orbit Atom-smashing Laser!”

    3. You know who else had dreams of lasers in orbit?

      1. Can I at least get them on sharks? Throw me a frickin’ bone here!

      2. Emperor Palpatine?

      3. Ronald Reagan?

        1. In college, I saw some general who was in charge of some pro-SDI organization–can’t remember the name, High Frontier, maybe? Anyway, it didn’t seem as crazy as the media made it out to be, especially since our only defense against getting nuked was the ability to nuke back. Which seems kind of weak when you think about it.

          Before this issue became a political football, I recall a 60 Minutes segment, maybe all the way back to the late 70s, that was favorable to the idea of ABM defenses (I don’t remember the details, just talk of particle accelerators and space and ground-based defense systems).

          Not that the proposals weren’t ungodly expensive and probably not doable for that reason, not to mention that there’s some truth to ABM deployment potentially destabilizing the MAD status quo, but the concept itself wasn’t as inherently absurd as the media and the left made it out to be. They consistently declared the technology unworkable if it weren’t 100% infallible, which is a little silly.

          1. In college, I saw some general who was in charge of some pro-SDI organization–can’t remember the name, High Frontier, maybe? Anyway, it didn’t seem as crazy as the media made it out to be, especially since our only defense against getting nuked was the ability to nuke back. Which seems kind of weak when you think about it.

            LTG Daniel Graham. The funny thing is, his ideas are a lot more workable now, with better sensors/software, and more importantly, a low fewer missiles to kill. Killing ICBMs in boost phase is a lot easier now using stealthy UAVs and F-22s, than it would have been using however many laser battle stations and mirrors General Graham and Jerry Pournelle wanted built.

            1. That’s him. I spoke to him after the speech, but I don’t remember the conversation. One thing I enjoyed about college was all of the speakers. I saw some ex-CIA agent who was a study in paranoia (yet he probably had reason to be) and Jim Belushi, before he’d done anything other than Trading Places, talking about acting and, of course, John.

    4. Yeah, destroying “debris.”

      While I’m not a fan of a lot that we do, I’m a’thinkin’ the U.S. needs to release the shackles and let the private sector develop space forthwith.

    5. Will it help when the arachnids aim a meteor at Buenos Aires?

      (would you like to know more?)

    6. which was originally designed to detect cosmic rays

      Toshikazu Ebisuzaki: Japanese for Reed Richards?

    7. a Coherent Amplification Network (CAN) laser can then blast the debris. The CAN laser consists of many small lasers working together to generate a single powerful beam.

      So, a fully functional battlestation then?

  40. I’m filling out my self appraisal for my anal…err….annual review. Hate those fuckin things. Reminds me of the touchy-feely bullshit that started to crop up in schools in the 1980’s. Like the IALAC Sign.

    All I need to know is: did I do a good enough job to get a raise? If not, what can I do to get a raise?

    1. My supervisor has forgotten to fill out my annual performance evaluation for two years running.

      Nobody cares. Renumeration isn’t based on merit around here.

      1. Yeah. Our corp has limited raises to 2% the past two years. I asked my boss about busting my ass and he shrugged. For reference I’ve reduced expenses for my company an average of $25 million each year for the past five. So yeah…

    2. Those forms are weird: it seems almost like the form is asking if you’d feel guilty if you got more money for doing the same job. All that employer-created stuff just seems like make-work for the HR people.
      Bonus of self-employment: I gave myself a raise, it was a good one. I determined I earned it because I work damn hard.

    3. “I didn’t take a machine gun to you last year, though you seemed to be going out of your way to tempt me. I deserve a raise for my self-control. My self-control so far, that is.”

    1. Not you. But one of your minions.

      1. You mean this guy?

    2. lolol.
      btw, I went to your website the other day and read the tale of Melind-duh. First time visit to your site. Thanks! If I hadn’t been conditioned to weirdness from visiting H&R that one visit alone might have done it.

      1. Thank you.

        1. Remember all of us when Warty Hugeman becomes an HBO series and is the first programming they deem too offensive to air before midnight.

          1. Except the show runners will decide they can write Warty better than SugarFree and replace the Doomcock with a robotic arm, or something equally stupid.

            1. Ah, but SF has anticipated their intransigence and has written his novels in such a way that the showrunner’s changes will reflect his true vision. All is as he has pornseen.

            2. A giant robotic arm for a penis is still pretty impressive. The Fistulator cannot be denied.

              1. I thought all of his appendages were functional penises. Or was that from the Korean knock-off series, Marty Klugeman?

                1. Without you there would be no institutional knowledge of the Warty Hugeman franchise at all. You really should be running the wiki.

                  1. Considering that I make it up as I go along, that might have a certain. . .disorder to it.

                    1. Just as long as you quit your job and leave your family to work on it. I don’t want any half-assedness on your part.

                    2. Spoken by the guy who has never even started writing before a deadline. Ten agent suicides are on your bloody, gnarled hands.

                    3. They were weak.

                    4. Two go in, one comes out is actually not a legal method of hiring agents.

  41. Spot the Not: lame excuses given by politicians

    1. Please, let me just set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.

    2. Yes I have smoked crack cocaine. But no, do I, am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.

    3. I have tried to address these gremlins; confront them. What I did was an egregious violation of trust to my family, to my colleagues, to the state, and I’ve paid a price and appropriately so.

    4. Better to have a passion for beautiful women than to be gay.

    5. I have no idea what you’re asking about. I’ve responded, consistently, to these tabloid allegations by saying I don’t respond to these lies and you know that.

    6. I cheated on my wife and I lied about it. The maturity I didn’t have was how to balance that job with family and spirituality.

    1. I think #1 was Homer Simpson. Though I’m not sure if they got that joke from real life. I’ll guess that anyways.

    2. I’m going with 4

    3. I know some Canadian said 2, 3, 5 and 6 sound like typical political gobbledegook, so that leaves 1 and 4.

      Let’s say:

      1

    4. 1 is the Not and it was inspired by Homer Simpson.

    5. 3. It sounds like a sort of nonapolgy.

    6. Ahhh, Rob Ford. Whatever happened to him?

    1. But proponents say the problem is that some Lane County doctors refuse to see their fair share of OHP patients.

      Jane Conley, an administrator at Springfield Family Physicians, said at the April hearing that OHP patients now make up 35 percent of her practice’s caseload, up from 18 percent since 2013.

      But other medical practices have not followed suit, she said. Because of the overall shortage of primary care doctors, “it’s easy for a provider to carve out a practice that has only the best-paying (private-insurance patients) in it,” she said.

      Added Alan Yordy, PeaceHealth’s president, said: “The system works as long as everyone shares in (serving) their respective portion of each patient type.”

      1. HB 3300 “asks the state to set some quid-pro-quo” between doctors seeing OHP patients and having access to state employees and teachers whose insurance pays the doctors at higher rates, Yordy added.

        Rep. John Lively, a Springfield Democrat who sponsored the bill, said the proposed 15 percent threshold is still lower than the overall share of Lane County residents on OHP, which is between 18 and 19 percent.

        Lively said he understands those who argue that if OHP paid higher rates for doctor visits and other medical activities, more doctors would be willing to take on OHP patients.

        But “to up the rates, the money has to come from somewhere,” he said, and the state’s future health care budgets already face challenges as federal funding for them declines.

        Despite the late movement in the rules committee, Lively said he still feels the bill is “a long shot.”

        “I’m frustrated that we haven’t had more public conversations about how this approach might work,” he said.

        1. I’m presently listening to the Atlas Shrugged audiobook…. This sure sounds a helluva lot like the “Equalization of Opportunity Act.” Everything must be equal, everyone do their fair share.

      2. My buddy’s mother makes $75 every hour on the laptop . She has been laid off for seven months but last month her pay check was $18875 just working on the laptop for a few hours.
        Look At This. ???? http://www.jobsfish.com

      3. Any time you hear the words “fair share”, run for your life!!

  42. Nathaniel . although Stephanie `s rep0rt is super… I just bought a top of the range Mercedes sincee geting a check for $4416 this last four weeks and would you believe, ten/k last-month . no-doubt about it, this really is the best-job I’ve ever done . I actually started seven months/ago and almost straight away started making a nice over $79.. p/h….. ?????? http://www.netcash9.com

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