Rand Paul Will Filibuster the Patriot Act, Trouble Again Finds George Zimmerman (and Shoots Him), Cactus Cameras in Arizona: P.M. Links

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  1. Somebody shot at George Zimmerman, but he’s fine.

    Fine is a relative term here.

      1. If George was a Hollywood celeb his agent would have him in rehab right about now.

      2. Fat shaming!

    1. If I was a major player in a widely publicized homicide, where a large number of people ended up hating me, I would go out of my way to avoid the spotlight at all.

      1. And that’s why your 15 minutes would only last five, dummy.

      2. He’s addicted. He’s a nobody with a sub-100 IQ, and he loves the attention.

        1. So he’s a perfect fit for politics in Florida! He’s good on Stand Your Ground and concealed carry. He could probably win a suburban Orlando district race tomorrow.

          1. Is his complexion darker or lighter than Charlie Crist?

            1. I would put him midway between Crist and Rubio.

              1. So, he’s about a Jeb?

        2. Doesn’t the majority of people have sub-100 IQ?

    2. Hello.

      1. Greetings, Rufus! How about that Elizabeth May? Truly, we are blessed with statesmanperson of such stature!

        1. Yeah. I posted that in the AM links.

          What an idiot.

          People vote for that crap. And Harper is bad? Please.

          1. I love how Chretien’s intervention to release Khadr’s father, who is such a monster and has warped his son and blahblahblah, from Pakistani prison, is rarely mentioned. All Harper’s fault, clearly!

            1. You mean Jean Cr?tin.

              (If the CBC could have a campaign to rename the opposition leader Doris Day, why not rename the PM?)

            2. Don’t get me going on that family.

              1. Deep breaths, Rufus, deep breaths. You’ve had a rough past few days what with the voting up there.

                Deep breaths.

                1. NOT WORKING.

                  1. Drat. I’m powerless here.
                    All I can think of doing is “sending” good will your way along with my desire that you and your fellow citizens will recover from the damage that will ensue.

                    There is also this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ael2ojGGUok

                    Your response reminded me of it and I hope that you take it in the best possible light.

  2. Sen.. Rand Paul announced plans to filibuster the Patriot Act.

    Al Qaeda’s best friend in the Senate!

    1. And he’s soft on crime!

      1. Why does one never hear of a woman being soft on crime?

        1. They are known to be soft in other areas.

        2. Nice! I like that! Can I use it?

          1. *** clears throat ***

            I don’t know? *Can* you?

            1. Oh mother may I quote you on that? I’ve never heard such a rapier wit before.

    2. I’ve been away for a bit, so we might have already discussed it, but have we discussed Rand Paul’s quashing of Sen. Vitter’s subpoena into who tried to certify Congress as a small business for Obamacare purposes?

      I’m sure we must have, and I’m just even more inept than usual at trying to Google this site. But I haven’t read of a good explanation why he voted the way he did on that issue.

      I do like him filibustering a Patriot Act extension.

      1. Great name! An inspiration to a young Bruce 🙂

  3. Students enrolled in a visual arts class at the University of California?San Diego had to show up naked for their final exam.

    What would students ever do without subsidized student loans!

    1. There are many ways to perform nudity or nakedness, summoning art history conventions of the nude or laying bare of one’s ‘traumatic’ or most fragile and vulnerable self. One can ‘be’ nude while being covered.”

      According to the article, this has been taught for 11 years. Thank Science only those Red Necked Soconz think that the University is a collectivist idiot tank.

    2. We’d have to subisidize their nakedness directly and tip the waitresses, too.

      1. “tip” the waitress indeed.

    3. What would students ever do without subsidized student loans!

      Show up naked all the time?

    4. How many of the female students were triggered by the sight of penises?

      1. Is there such thing a thing as a millennial man on college campuses?

        1. Yes, but they don’t have penii.

          1. They tuck them back.

          2. Sure they do, but they’ve learned to walk Buffalo Bill style in gender studies class.

      2. Hey! You don’t hear anyone complaining about snail trails on the exam room chairs.

      3. Probably most of them. In one way or another.

    5. I think this is a great idea. In fact, all final exams should be taken in the nude.

  4. Mark Halperin’s “apology” for his racist interview of Ted Cruz (Trigger Warning: Think Progress).

    Mark Halperin’s ‘Apology’ For His Racist Cruz Interview Sure Is Lame

    I rushed through the questions and that was a mistake-it led to poor tone and timing.

    I also understand why some felt the questions were inappropriate.

    TRANSLATION (i.e., Indiansplaining): I got called out and am embarrassed. If I could get away with it, I would do it all over again.

    1. That wasn’t an apology. It was “I’m sorry you were offended”, which wasn’t an apology.

      Plus, it was on Scribd and not, you know, the same fucking website the interview was posted on.

      Though I have to say I’m surprised that Think Progress is calling Halperin out for this. I figured they’d be on his side.

      1. I agree on Think Progress.

        I actually thought they, along with Salon, Slate, Huffington Post, etc. have been silent on the Melissa Harris-Perry tax delinquency affair.

        I guess this was way over the top to not say anything about and get called out as racist by silence.

        1. Huh. Well this really throws my SJW hierarchy research for a loop.

          *scratches head and readjusts largest enigma dial to position #1*

    2. 10 More Questions Mark Halperin Might Ask 2016 Presidential Contenders

      1.) “Dr. Carson, I’m curious how deep a connection you have to your African-American heritage. Can you tell us how you celebrate Martin Luther King’s Day and who your favorite rapper is? Also, if you could doctor, Sen. Sanders recently entered the presidential race, would you welcome him to the competition ? in jive.”

    3. “It lead to…some felt that…” Yep, a master of the bullshit fake apology.

    4. Perhaps Halperin will consider using Gorilla Glue to prevent his mask from ever slipping again

  5. “Students enrolled in a visual arts class at the University of California?San Diego had to show up naked for their final exam.”

    As a product of the UC system, I assure you that it’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds.

    1. Are you saying the Beach Boys were wrong?

    2. Now, now, plenty of babes in the UC system. UC Irvine, in particular, seems to have a disproportionate number of hot Middle Eastern women. But the kind of women who would take such a class would make Playa’s original point valid.

    3. I doubt they had to show up naked, since that would require them to walk across campus nude. I’m guessing they showed up clothed and the nakedness occurred upon arrival.

      1. FTFA, There are many ways to perform nudity or nakedness, summoning art history conventions of the nude or laying bare of one’s ‘traumatic’ or most fragile and vulnerable self. One can ‘be’ nude while being covered.”

        There was no actual nudity required. Only “nudity”.

        1. No actual learning either. Just “learning”.

  6. Elizabeth Nolan Brown on Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s panic-stricken nail salon crackdown.

    I don’t think there’s ever been an article of theirs I like, but I still don’t think we should crack down on that website.

  7. The White House is not happy with Seymour Hersh.

    For putting the name of his daughter, Nina, in every caricature he drew?

    1. Bzzzzt. Sorry, but that was Al Hirshfeld.

      1. “Hirschfeld”

        1. I’m beginning to think you don’t get me at all.

          1. Sorry, Fist.

          2. We get that you’re not very funny. :-p

            1. Whenever it’s not funny it’s important social commentary.

  8. The solution is obviously more gun control…

    Lawsuit blames Phoenix VA hospital for veteran’s suicide

    1. The gun has been assumed to be guilty, now we just have to collect the dead guy’s assets.

      1. You know, to punish the gun.

      2. +1 Death Tax

    2. There always has to be someone or something to blame. No one ever has agency over personal decisions, especially if there was a bad outcome.

  9. The White House is not happy with Seymour Hersh.

    Never believe anything until it’s been officially denied.

    1. So that’s what Hillary was gasping at in that situation room photo, all the lies Obama was about to tell.

    2. From the article:

      “If you were to believe Sy you would have to believe this massive conspiracy that President Obama, Robert Gates, Leon Panetta, and Mike Morell were all lying to you,” said Bill Harlow, the agency’s former top spokesman, referring to two recent secretaries of defense and a former acting CIA director.

      Given what we know they’ve lied about, you’re not providing a solid defense.

      1. It’s also not a massive conspiracy to believe that 4 people who all work for the same government coordinated their stories and lied about it.

        Every criminal gang in the country is capable of coordinating their stories if given the time to do so, but we’re apparently supposed to believe 4 of the top people in the Obama administration aren’t capable of inventing a lie.

      2. Holy cow, I assume these people lie to me.

        1. That was my reaction. That those 4 would coordinate lies is not the least bit surprising or far fetched.

          1. It’s not even plausible. It’s certain.

            1. It is almost certain, I agree. Small details or large, the story presented was one of mutual agreement based upon political calculation, not what we might call “reality”.

              1. Even if the current story is nonsense, I have no doubt whatsoever that lies, embellishments, and misrepresentations characterized much of what we’ve been told. It’s what they do.

      3. We need some Latin-sounding name for a false argument that reduces someone’s position to a conspiracy. This “debating” approach is very popular: no need to know much about the subject, just reinterpret the position you don’t like as a conspiracy and you “win” the argument.

        1. argumentum ad falsum insidiae – argument from false conspiracy

          1. Repello Muggletum

            1. fellatio fallacii bendoverus fuckus

      4. What was the last big Sy Hersch story? It sounded too good to check, but plausible too.

        1. The writer at Vox seemed to think that he started losing his fastball around ’08, when he kept saying the U.S. was going to attack Iran.

          The problem with Hersh’s story is that I want to agree with the essence of it—Pakistan held OBL for many years and agreed to let the U.S. come in and kill him—I mean, I was saying that at the time of the raid—but a lot of the details he wrote in that lengthy London Review of Books article are just laughable bullshit.

  10. The town of Paradise Valley, Arizona, is installing cameras in cacti.

    A prickly development!

  11. Let’s abolish private savings so that people who save don’t have an unfair advantage. Once we have Single Payer Retirement, we will all be equal!

    Harvard, Dartmouth: Social Security forecasts have been too optimistic ? and increasingly biased

    1. Sure, we’ll just have the state confiscate those evil savings. They’ll know what to do with them.

      1. From the article:

        Chris Christie wants to turn Social Security into an explicit welfare program by means-testing the benefits, a sharp departure from the contributory-fund illusion that the government has maintained for 80 years

        Pay into it, and get nothing out – if you’re EVUL RICH.

        Also, f*** Christie.

        1. As much as I dislike Fatso, at least he’s being a bit more honest about the social security debate.

          1. It’s not right to take money from people all of their life and then not pay any of it back when they were promised it, no matter what their income.

            I’ll take half of what I’ve paid in to this point and opt out.

            1. They can keep every penny I’ve given them if they just agree not to take any more.

              1. You’re obviously a lot younger than me. 35 years of paying that shit, I want something back.

            2. I agree that people should only get what they paid in and shouldn’t get fucked now. The problem is there’s not enough to make up the deficit in the fund due to lower earners and the millions we have on disability. I’ve been paying in for less than half as long as you but I’m under no illusions: I’m not going to see one fucking dime. So I’m being robbed as well. I’m willing to give everyone older than me my 16 years worth of being robbed, I just want it to stop so I can put that money to work in the market.

            3. The government stole from you so you are willing to continue stealing from others. That is what you are saying.

              The money is gone. They never saved it. There is no way to pay you without robbing others.

              That said, I’d destroy the rest of the federal government before I touched Social Security.

              1. SS would be second on my list to eliminate. It represents everything wrong with government: it’s intrusive (how much did you earn?), it fosters dependency (don’t save for yourself, the gov’t will protect you!), and it’s redistributive. It really is pure evil.

                The Nisei were compensated for their imprisonment decades before I was born with my money. Yes, I would like some compensation from the bastards. Not all, but the answer to getting out of the Ponzi scheme is to spread the pain over time and generations.

        2. We’ll just put fat boy on a diet and put all of that donut money into the SS fund. Problem solved.

        3. I don’t know why Christie would even discuss cuts to SS. This is the silly season where you’re supposed to promise hope and change and restored honor, not court disaster by alienating the vote of seniors. People get elected by promising more entitltements, not fewer. Maybe advocate slashing them once you’re a lame duck, but not before then.

          1. He doesn’t have a chance in hell anyway, so he may as well be a fat dick, which is the only thing he’s good at.

  12. So the mayor of DC, who has not been using the name of the Washington Football Team, has been advised to start using the name as a “show of good faith” to Dan Snyder.

    Or what. He’ll find some other city to extort a billion dollars out of so he can build a stadium? Fuck, I’ll give the mayor some cash to keep not using the name.

    1. That reminds me. I still owe Bud Adams grave a visit.

      1. Please tell me you’re going to consume lots of liquids immediately before such a trip! That’s the only reason I can think of for going.

        1. Affirmative

    2. How is the mayor supposed to launder some of that kick back money into his campaign if Dan Snyder’s pissed off at him.

      Look at the big picture.

      The really big, really shitty picture.

    3. The question of whether Snyder would actually relocate is an interesting one. Would another city be willing to cough up a billion to build a stadium for an organization with the Redskins’ baggage, just to say they had an NFL team? If the Rams relocated to L.A., would St Louis entice them at that point to move west? I’m sure there’s a few metropolitan areas that have the financial clout and would be willing to play ball, so to speak–Orlando, Salt Lake City, and Las Vegas come to mind–but the pickings are really slim now. It’s a lot harder to pick up and move now than it was 50-60 years ago.

      Then again, Oklahoma City, of all places, was able to lure the Sonics down to the tornado-swept plain, so what do I know?

      1. AFAIK, there are currently plenty of cities in NoVA (and Maryland as well) currently lining up to throw money at Dan Snyder.

        1. Not just cities, Andy, the Governor of Virginia was making noises about luring the ‘Skins to South of the Potomac.

          1. If they do that, Snyder should go for the ultimate troll and change the team name to the Powhatans.

  13. More leftist tolerance!

    WaPo Columnist: ‘We Wouldn’t Be Taking Carly Fiorina Seriously If She Weren’t a Woman’

    Thus it’s time for another round of everyone’s favorite game: “Imagine if a Republican had said it . . .

    1. In fairness, I think she’s right. Fiorina has never won any major election and she wasn’t even a very good CEO at Hewlett Packard.

      1. Yes, but why make an argument that highlights how truly abominable your ONLY POSSIBLE CANDIDATE is?

        This reminds me of when the left was attacking Palin for her inexperience, all while singing hosannas to their even less-experienced presidential candidate.

        1. Because, as you note, their candidates are not held those standards, or any standards really. We are to accept that Dem candidates are paragons of intellgence and virtue, whatever you may have heard or seen otherwise.

          1. Truly, they have dizzying intellects.

      2. Clinton won a major election (NY Senate) by moving to a deep-blue state guaranteeing victory, and by cashing in on the Clinton name. I doubt her efficacy as SoS, but the media doesn’t seem to be bothered by that.

        What they’re more interested in is having a first “First Dude” in the White House.

        1. Yes, just imagine the hilarious shenanigans of a first dude Bill. The laughs will keep us entertained for decades! Obviously, we have to vote for Hillary!

        2. You know, I just had a weird, I dunno, reverse-epiphany. Why aren’t the Dems pushing Michelle Obama to run for president?

          1. I said this weeks ago and was called crazy. I think its in play.

            1. I’m surprised there isn’t more talk about it, though I do believe that even many of the cult secretly are very tired of the Obamas.

            2. I think there is some of that fatigue as well. But also think there is a statistically measurable group that will think Hillary has too much baggage, Bernie is unelectable in a general election that Michelle Obama is our ‘only hope’.

              1. I try to stay clear of personal attacks on anyone aside from Episiarch, but there’s a hugely obvious tagline for her if she runs. I’ll leave it to others to figure out.

                1. Michelle 2016: Let The Wookiee Win

                  1. “WAGRRRRWWGAHHHHWWWRRGGAWWWWWWRR.”

                2. I try to stay clear of personal attacks on anyone aside from Episiarch, but there’s a hugely obvious tagline for her if she runs. I’ll leave it to others to figure out.

                  I have discovered a truly marvelous tagline of this, which this comment box is too narrow to contain.

          2. Why aren’t the Dems pushing Michelle Obama to run for president?

            You just now considered this? I think that the Obama’s really aren’t that interested in the power. They would prefer to be celebrity post-power people. Either that or Chewbacca has actually murdered someone in her past and it will come out.

            I believe that she would win, hands down. She has “experience”. “I have helped the President in every difficult decision”. She is black and supposedly possesses a vagina. While his approval ratings may be in the toilet, how many people who voted for Barry would switch their votes “against” a woman? How many women who didn’t vote for Obama would vote for any woman? I assume they just don’t want it.

            1. She has “experience”. “I have helped the President in every difficult decision”

              I can see this. She has as much experience as Hillary did when she ran for the Senate, and no giant failures on her record like Hilarycare.

              I also don’t share Hyperion’s faith that no one will vote for her. I think she gets, absolute bottom ground floor, 40% of the popular vote. And that’s without any campaigning.

            2. I haven’t heard anyone even suggest it, and I don’t think we’re so far gone that she could win the nomination. Though I’ve been wrong before.

          3. Because almost no one will vote for her? You can’t just put that hateful woman out into public and let her say whatever she wants to, and expect her to get votes. She’s like Hillary with diarrhea of the mouth. Just as unlikeable as Hillary, but with a complete inability to keep her mouth shut. It would be an unmitigated disaster for the Dems, even worse than Warren.

            1. What? Black woman married to our savior? Are you on drugs?

              1. She’s completely unlikeable. I’m right on this. If the Democrat insiders weren’t well aware of that fact, she’d already be on the national stage. But they do know it, which is why she’s not.

                Why do you think they’d pass up an opportunity to run a black woman? That’s twice as good as a black guy. But first they have to find one that everyone won’t despise 5 minutes after they’re put on the campaign trail. She’s Hillary with a worse attitude.

                1. “She’s Hillary with a worse attitude.”

                  That’s just plain mean, Hyperion, I mean worse than shooting a man’s luggage type mean.

                  That’s mean all the way down.

            2. Just as unlikeable as Hillary, but with a complete inability to keep her mouth shut.

              The Hilldebeast has control of her mouth? I think the fact that Michelle is a black woman, not just half black, could win her the Presidency by itself. She wouldn’t even have to campaign. The media would carry her water and the imbeciles and the parasites would come out to vote in droves. Fauxcahontas and the Hbeast say the stupidest things all the time. I can’t hardly imagine her doing worse.

              You have a much higher opinion of the American voter than I do.

              1. The Dems know what I know, that’s why she’s not running. She’s totally unlikeable, they can’t hide that no matter how hard they try. Hillary’s unlikeable too, but Bill’s legacy is better than Obama can ever hope for, and Hillary is running on that, she has nothing else, but it’s enough against Jeb.

              2. I figured that they think a modicum of experience is necessary to run a candidate for president. If that weren’t true, Hillary would’ve skipped the Senate and State gigs.

                It’s probably not so much the voting public that requires experience as it is the money and strategy people in the party. Of course, what passes for experience these days is beyond pathetic. There are times I think we could use an American version of the cursus honorum.

        3. At least Bill Clinton looks good in a dress.

  14. Spot the Not: Peter Schiff

    1. Keynesians are to economics what witch doctors are to medicine.

    2. You don’t drive an economy by consuming – the consumer is not the engine, the consumer is the caboose.

    3. They should let my son be Federal Reserve chairman. At least he’ll play with his toys and not ruin the economy.

    4. There’s no need to stimulate demand. It’s already unlimited. If you take a kid into a toy store, he says “I want that and that and that…”

    5. We’re selling our cows to buy milk.

    6. When the tide goes out, you find out who isn’t wearing swimming trunks.

    1. The last. Way too folksy.

      1. 6 is Warren Buffett.

    2. Spot the Not: Peter Schiff’s father

      1. His father is an author

      2. His father is not afraid to tangle with government goons.

      3. His father is currently a club fed guest.

      4. Libertymike has had the pleasure of meeting his father.

      5. His father worshipped men in uniform.

      1. Five?

  15. Spot the Not: Murray Rothbard

    1. It is no crime to be ignorant of economics, which is, after all, a specialized discipline and one that most people consider to be a ‘dismal science.’ But it is totally irresponsible to have a loud and vociferous opinion on economic subjects while remaining in this state of ignorance.

    2. Marx created an entire philosophy around his own corrupt attitudes toward money.

    3. The Federal Reserve has done more damage to US economy than any war.

    4. All my life, it seems, I have hated the guts of Max Lerner.

    5. The natural tendency of the state is inflation.

    6. There is one good thing about Marx: he was not a Keynesian.

    1. #3

  16. Spot the Not: Milton Friedman

    1. What is a politician except a man who smiles when he doesn’t mean it and promises everything to everyone?

    2. If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand.

    3. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

    4. Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself.

    5. Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless.

    6. Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.

    1. I thought 6 was Reagan

    2. #1 is a paraphrase of Stossel.

      “I’m a libertarian. It’s a terrible word.”

      https://youtu.be/lMkuy86jStQ?t=5m23s

    3. #1

    4. I’m going to guess that you wish us to confuse a non-Friedman quote with a Friedman quote.

      I’ve heard 2 before, but I don’t think it’s Friedman.

      2

  17. Students enrolled in a visual arts class at the University of California?San Diego had to show up naked for their final exam.

    AND THEY HADN’T ATTENDED CLASS ALL SEMESTER!

    1. The version of that dream I always have is: it’s the day before the exam and I haven’t opened the textbook nor gone to class all year, and I’m looking at some 500-page textbook with very small type thinking I have to read it all, with just hours to go before I fail. I’m 54 and I still have that dream all the time. It sucks!

  18. Letting innocent people out of jail “isn’t our job” says NC Justice Dept

    Justice Department officials said it is not their job to notify prisoners that they might be incarcerated for something that they now concede is not a crime. And although they have agreed in court filings that the men are innocent, they said they must still comply with federal laws that put strict limits on when and how people can challenge their convictions in court.

    1. Its the Orwellian spelling of Dept of Justice.

    2. But, you see, it WAS a crime when they were convicted. And we can’t let criminals out of jail, period. They might commit actual crime, like possessing marijuana.

    3. they said they must still comply with federal laws that put strict limits on when and how people can challenge their convictions in court

      WTF? The federal government can only restrict challenges by federal prisoners or in federal courts. It can’t restrict challenges by state prisoners in state courts.

    4. These are federal cases based on a federal misinterpretation of North Carolina law. Bottom line – the feds thought these guys were felons unfit to carry guns, based on violating NC laws which are not felonies.

      And there’s this:

      “”It’s been tough,” said Ripley Rand, the U.S. attorney in Greensboro, N.C. “We’ve spent a lot of time talking about issues of fundamental fairness, and what is justice.””

      Yeah, never mind these innocent people in prison, let’s focus on *my feelings.* Sociopathic sack of ego.

      Here’s a suggestion – write to Obama with a list, saying “we messed up and got these innocent people convicted. They need to be pardoned yesterday.” And if Obama doesn’t issue pardons, resign and send an angry resignation letter to the media.

      *That* would not violate any procedural statutes.

  19. Spot the Not: Henry Hazlitt

    1. It is significant that while there is a word “profiteer” to stigmatize those who make allegedly excessive profits, there is no such word as “wageer” – or “losseer”.

    2. You cannot make a man worth a given amount by making it illegal for anyone to offer him anything less.

    3. We cannot distribute more wealth than is created. We cannot in the long run pay labor as a whole more than it produces.

    4. Trying lift the poor by taxing the rich is like taking water out of the deep end of a pool and pouring it into the shallow end.

    5. The bad economist sees only what immediately strikes the eye; the good economist also looks beyond. The bad economist sees only the direct consequences of a proposed course; the good economist looks also at the longer and indirect consequences.

    6. The ideas which now pass for brilliant innovations and advances are in fact mere revivals of ancient errors, and a further proof of the dictum that those who are ignorant of the past are condemned to repeat it.

    1. I say 4. 5 is from Economics in One Lesson and 6 is from the Failure of the New Economics. Not bad memory for books I read 20 years ago.

  20. Headlines from ABC and CNN:

    [quote]GEORGE ZIMMERMAN INVOLVED IN SHOOTING, KNEW THE GUNMAN [/quote]
    [quote]Police: George Zimmerman involved in Florida shooting [/quote]

    That’s my journalism!

    1. You have to love the usage of the term ‘involved in shooting’ when he was shot at.

      “Abraham Lincoln involved in shooting at Ford’s Theater.”

      1. Japan involved in nuclear attack.

      2. Emmett Till Involved in Lynching

      3. Gavrilo Princep involved in car trouble.

      4. Freddie Gray involved in vehicular homicide.

      5. Ray Rice involved in abusive relationship.

      6. “Nicole Simpson Brown Involved in Knife Altercation”

      7. Trotsky involved in purge.

        1. Mao involved in cultural leap forward.

      8. Robb Stark involved in brawl at wedding.

        1. Too soon.

        2. NO SPOILERS!

      9. “Jackie” involved in a sexual assault. oh wait, wrong game

      10. Approximately 6M Jews involved in genocide?

      11. “President Obama involved in unfortunate use of ‘sugar-coating’.”

        1. “Hillary Clinton involved in unfortunate use of rhetorical question.”

      12. Bosnia under sniper fire from Hillary Clinton.

      13. Royals involved in thrilling World Series championship.

  21. American Idol to officially end next year

    IF ratings don’t pick up next year.

    1. I would only watch for the first couple audition rounds where they made fun of everyone – everything after that was unwatchable.

      1. Half of those where phonies, anyway.

  22. Sen. Rand Paul announced plans to filibuster the Patriot Act.

    That doesn’t sound very patriotic.

  23. Smart mirrors boost sales

    Big Space, a technology company, plans to test at an undisclosed clothing chain a new mirror that recognizes the gender of a customer and makes recommendations based on that.

    *Excellent* *Fabulous* idea!

    1. I don’t see that working out well with guys who aren’t all that into fashion.

    2. BEEP BOOP

      ANALYZING

      MALE
      AGE 30
      WEARING STAINED WIFE BEATER, KHAKIS WITH MISSING CROTCH, AND $1 FLIP FLOPS
      RECOMMEND $6 WEREWOLF SHIRT

      1. I lol’d.

        I mean, I would if my retinas and my sanity weren’t permanently shattered from reading the DERPINOMICON.

        Btw where can I get that sick werewolf shirt brah?

        1. I bought it at a Wal Mart in Wichita Falls TX a few days after Halloween. You can also get it on Amazon:

          http://www.amazon.com/Werewolf…..B00A7RQOVU

          1. I like it.

            for many years, my favorite t-shirt was something similar to this

            http://www.amazon.com/Mr-T-Shi…..4DHMWSX0XG

            1. GILMORE and me agree on a matter of fashion?!

              HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?!

              1. Truly, the End Times are upon us.

                Don’t be “Left Behind!” (In fashion)

      2. Seriously I want that werewolf shirt.

        1. Take that, GILMORE! 2 people want to buy clothing I recommended.

  24. Which of these is this: Abort, Retry, Ignore, or Fail?

    Wendy Davis Fined $5,000 for Ethics Violation

    1. Shit is about to get crazy in TX politics. The Lt. Gov’s staff knew that an organization (I want to call it ultra conservative tea party, but I’m unclear on their legislative priorities) recorded something like 800 hours of hidden camera video with various Republican congress critters. His advisory council also called the Governor’s VPK plan socialist. You gotta love separately elected Executives. I think the rest of session may be “everybody fuck over Dan Patrick” themed.

  25. Oh who cares about Rand Paul’s stand on behalf of the Fourth Amendment? ONE OF HIS STAFFERS LICKED A CAMERA LENS!!!”

    1. I hope he didn’t catch anything.

    2. Bravo on Paul’s refusal to comment on that. Good to see a candidate take on the press as Paul has done.

      1. Yup. I hope to god that every GOP candidate this cycle starts the same approach (except Jeb, I don’t think his brain could grasp the concept). It would be best election ever

        “When did you stop beating your wife?”
        “Fuck off”

    3. Jessica Chobot is working for the Paul campaign?

  26. Speaking of Paul, I purchased and finally wore in public one of his shirts.

    1. Please let us know how it feels to be profiled.

      1. Sadly, it occurred to me that there are places I shouldn’t wear that shirt. I did have someone give me a bit of a look while at a restaurant.

        1. “Me and my concealed pistol stand with Rand” It is better to be feared than loathed.

        2. I have several shirts like that. Wearing them as undershirts is my little way of sticking it to The Man.

    2. Donning that t-shirt is, in and of itself, reasonable suspicion that you are an extremist!

    3. Did anyone cry and run away to a 1st amendment-free “safe space”?

      1. I have a sudden vision of free-speech-free bunkers throughout the U.S.

        1. +1 Words of Mass Devastation

    4. I’ve been taking my Rand beer coozies out to bars in Houston. Been slightly too inebriated to notice if I’m getting the stinkeye or not.

    5. Rand Paul is now trolling

      1. Well, his logo is a hell of a lot better than Hillary’s, so there’s that anyway.

    6. Since Nicole isn’t around the be literally THE WORST, I’ll be her surrogate:

      It should be either “minimal” and “maximal” or “minimized” and “maximized”. No mixing of passive verbs with adjectives.

      1. I’ll edit it with a Sharpie.

    7. What kind of response do you brohemians get with Reason shirts? I have the standard black and the light blue “Be Paranoid”. People look a little closer to see what’s on the blue one.

      1. I get a lot of reaction from the blue one; mostly positive.

      2. I used to wear a free minds, free markets shirt, and nary a peep about it. My old Blue Sun shirt get far more comments.

  27. I posted this over the weekend but feel it bears repeating: Raw Story’s take on the Garland shooting is one of the most horrible things I have ever read.

    “Texas shooting is a pointless chapter in the story of intolerance and extremism”

    Oh…just random extremism. No particular type of extremism, just the generic sort that certainly can’t be linked to any particular religion.

    “So everybody can be happy. Everybody, that is, if you exclude anyone with vaguely normal behavioural patterns. If you are neither a violent religious fundamentalist, nor someone committed to actively insulting religious communities, then the whole scenario may well seem as absurd and grotesque as a pre-arranged fight between rival football hooligans.

    It is true that the American Freedom Defense Initiative was on the right side of US law, while the Islamic State-inspired shooters were not. But both were behaving in a manner so far outside the conventions of familiar social interaction that there is a sharp and significant disconnect between the thought processes of the protagonists and the more mundane questions of daily etiquette encountered by members of Western multicultural communities.”

    So. Much. Wrong. Here.

    1. Something tells me that if tomorrow, North Korea passed a law making it a criminal offense to publish a photo of Kim Jong Un, Raw Story wouldn’t issue one fucking peep about a bunch of artists and human rights activists drawing pictures of Dear Leader in order to highlight the oppression inherent in restricting speech through violence.

    2. Progs: making excuses for murder since 1917.

    3. Being intentionally provocative is equally as out-of-bounds as shooting a bunch of people? Somebody tell John Waters, and the creator of Piss Christ.

      Hell, time to shut down this summer’s gay pride parades.

    4. Remember how, back in February, traditional-minded Christians blew up the Raw Story headquarters for insulting Jesus?

      http://www.rawstory.com/2015/0…..bly-wrong/

      1. /sarc

  28. Paradise Valley, Arizona, is installing cameras in cacti.

    Burke said the cameras are not being put in fake cactus to be secretive, but because there are no light poles in the area to put them on. He says they’re trying to make the cameras aesthetically pleasing.

    You know, Burke — not putting them up would be the most aesthetically pleasing, and it would save lots of mon……Oh.

    OHHH!!

    /Edith Bunker

  29. “”If you were to believe Sy you would have to believe this massive conspiracy that President Obama (serial liar), Robert Gates (who accused Obama of lying in his memoir), Leon Panetta (why not?), and Mike Morell (*known liar who re-wrote the Benghazi talking points when Petraeus disowned them) were all lying to you,” said Bill Harlow, the agency’s former top spokesman, referring to two recent secretaries of defense and a former acting CIA director. “It makes absolutely no sense.”

    Actually…. its far more plausible than “Osama lived undetected next to the Pakistani Military for a half dozen years”

    If anything about Hersh’s piece rings true, its the flurry of bullshit-story-changes that came out in the immediate aftermath, which were a ‘cover story concocted on the fly’.

    Also, the eager rush to release “details” of the raid, using Hollywood & liberal hacks like Peter Bergen to ‘write history’ for the Admin, makes much more sense in context.

    1. Also = its not a ‘conpiracy’.

      They’re just *lies*.

      1. Actually, I would call it a conspiracy. You know, the legally actionable kind.

        If Obama ever gets impeached, the articles of impeachment will be probably the longest list ever.

        1. PL, where’s the legally actionable conspiracy here? I mean, it’s disgusting that they threw to the wolves one of their lower level sources—the Pakistani doctor running the vaccination program out of his own pocket—but I’m not sure where there’s a violation of law in the whole sordid affair.

          1. Is it legal for them to lie to us? That’s a fascinating question in and of itself.

            1. I can’t think of any law that makes it illegal for them to lie to us. In fact, there are cases when members of the executive branch are legally required to lie to us.

              1. That’s the fascinating part. Why on Earth do we want politicians to be able to lie to us? I mean, what’s the point of the republican system if our representatives aren’t providing us clear information upon which we can render judgments?

                If perjury is actionable, why not public official lies?

            2. I don’t see where they were under oath, or under another legal mechanism to force their telling the truth. I mean, I’d like my elected leaders to not lie to me all of the time, but I’m not sure it’s illegal. And I’d think most of the international use of force stuff—like not even bothering to try and take OBL alive—is kosher under the current gigantic deference the other two branches give the Executive.

              Your proposed Censor would certainly have a field day though.

              1. It’s crazy that me lying in court is a felony, but them lying to the country is not.

          2. To answer your question, I suppose we’d have to figure out why they lied and whether they were advancing something that could be viewed as a violation of the law. Given that wee people like us are committing unintentional felonies on a daily basis, most likely, I’m sure something could be found.

  30. It’s good to hear that Rand is filibustering this monstrosity. And I’m quite sure, overly confident don’t you know, that a wave of tolerant civil rights loving, liberal Democrats, are going to reach across the aisle and join their Republican comrade in this noble gesture. They’ll all be holding hands and singing Kumbaya all the night long, weeping tears of sorrow for the lost liberties of the American public. That is going to happen, right? Right?….

  31. Woman Claims She and Daughter With Autism Were Kicked Off United Airlines Flight

    “the captain said he’s not comfortable flying on to Portland with [Juliette] on the plane.”

    TRIGGER WARNING: AUTO START

    1. Well, Juliette has been acting like a real bitch this season, so I’d have to side with Renard here. I hope the writers are killing her off; Bitsie Tulloch is a bad actress, anyway.

  32. Somebody shot at George Zimmerman, but he’s fine.

    You know who else got shot at, but was fine?

    1. Gerald Ford?

      1. Twice?

    2. Hilary Clinton in Bosnia?

      1. Brian Williams in Iraq?

    3. Aaron Burr?

    4. Reagan?

    5. Winston “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result” Churchill?

    1. Blocked. What did he say?

      1. In response to “Muslim Comedian Starts ‘Draw Your Favorite Islamophobe’ Contest,” he posted a Paint-quality pic of a beheaded stick figure. Maybe the image won’t be blocked for you.

    1. I think there might be some middle ground on that one.

      Where do people keep coming up with this shit?

      Maybe people like different things at different times for different reasons.

    2. I love when people tell the rest of us what we like. It saves me the trouble of figuring it out for myself.

  33. Weren’t we promised an ISIS cyber attack or something today?

    1. Those bastards are milking the fear for all it’s worth!

    2. Weird, even the squirrels have been more competent than usual. ISIS sucks at everything.

    1. I’m not entirely clear on what “open land” means (even after reading the text).

      Assuming it is land that people are generally allowed to be on without explicit permission from the owner, this seems kind of nuts.

      1. The problem is there’s two sections, one about “open land” and one about “private open land”, which leads me to infer the first section includes public open land.

        1. And the definition of “collect” would appear to indicate that remembering stuff that you intend to communicate to a state agency would be criminal.

    2. Once again, Stomry demonstrates that it’s really, really hard for her not to be a mendacious cunt.

      The law – and I freely admit that it seems like a stupid law – bans trespassing for the purpose of collecting data.

      The Wyoming trespassing law basically only criminalizes not leaving when the property owner tells you to leave.

      This law basically creates a new class of criminal trespass – sneaking onto property to collect data, and interestingly, it prohibits the data so collected from being used in court cases.

      My guess is that it’s designed to kneecap environmentalists.

      A simpler solution would be to alter the law so that environmentalists can’t create trouble for property owners, but since legislators don’t listen to me….

      Of course, nothing changes the fact that Stormy continues her tradition of linking to stuff with a summary that is so divergent from the actual content of what she linked to that it has to be the product of a wilful decision to purposefully mislead.

      1. Except the law (as written; I have no idea what the intent was) doesn’t limit itself to privately owned land.

        1. doesn’t limit itself to privately owned land.

          Yep, and I’ll bet it will provide cover for all sorts of fraud on state land.

          But, nonetheless, you can measure stuff. If I want to count the trout swimming in my pond, it ain’t against the law.

  34. ‘Car babes’ dressed as beggars to boycott auto show ban

    A bunch of car girls dressing like beggars take to the streets in Shanghai on April 26 to boycott the restrictions that ban sexy female models from auto shows. The girls complained that they are facing long-term unemployment and their efforts to get slim are in vain. When the 16th Shanghai International Automobile Industry Exhibition opened on April 22, one particular detail is missing — scantily dressed models.

    The shoes kind of ruin it.

    The Porn Star Sunny Leone’s Bollywood Makeover

    My own Internet research led me to a video, in Hindi, of another Bollywood starlet, Rakhi Sawant, sniping that India was performing a “social service” by paying Ms. Leone to wear clothes.

  35. “American idol was finally cancelled.”

    Never watched. Not even once.

    1. A classmate got to, I think, third place in one of the early seasons, and I still didn’t watch.

      1. What’s interesting is that unlike the other talent show meat markets, it did have the occasional breakout star, sometimes people who didn’t even win the contest. The fact that the show launched the careers of Kelly Clarkson, Chris Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, Katherine McPhee, Adam Lambert, and Jennifer Hudson is still pretty impressive.

  36. Tawmmy Brady suspended 4 games, Patriots fined $1 million and docked a first and fourth round draft pick.

    Fuck the Patriots. Fuck everything about Boston sports. New York sports too, but I’m currently angrier about Boston sports.

  37. “Communists love a good farmers’ market” according to distinguished shithead Jesse Myerson.

    He has nothing except “but capitalism has failures too!”

    https://youtu.be/013OrTbvFbQ?t=6m14s

    1. I find it odd the he thinks that farmers could sell their produce directly to their peers under communism, rather than have it collected and distributed by the Commissar

      1. If there’s one thing Communism is known for, it’s sane and humane agricultural policies!

  38. Does anyone else find it interesting that at least two headlines about the Zimmerman shooting say “zimmerman involved in shooting” suggesting a kind of neutral, could-go-either-way scenario?

    The story that I read (once you got past the lede) was that someone took a shot at him. That’s a bit like saying a rape victim was “involved in a sexual assault”.

  39. http://www.theglobeandmail.com…..e24316040/

    Danielle Smith, who otherwise will live on in ignominy, has a point here: Alberta already was an NDP province

    Skip the parts where she waxes about desperately appealing ie pandering to the LBGTQ block. She still doesn’t understand that was futile.

  40. So Rand’s legislation is actually called…the FAPP Act? I guess he knows how I feel about his hypothetical presidency.

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