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Politics

Friday Funnies: Hillary for Prez

Chip Bok | 5.8.2015 7:00 AM

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NEXT: Brickbat: Never to Blame

Chip Bok
PoliticsHillary Clinton
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    My wife announced just the other day
    She campaigned to the world in the usual way
    But there were interns to bang, and bills to pay
    She learned to campaign while I was away
    And she was pandering before I knew it, and as she campaigned
    She'd say, "I'm not gonna be like you, Bill
    But you know I'm gonna be like you"

    1. Libertarian   10 years ago

      OK. Top post for the day has been done. See you all tomorrow.

      1. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

        Agreed - go home, folks. We are done here.

    2. Gordilocks   10 years ago

      Nice work, Fist.

    3. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

      Gold star.

      1. sloopyinTEXAS   10 years ago

        Fist is a lesbian?

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          I just learned something I did not necessarily need to know.

        2. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

          HET! He is Hero of the Soviet Union!

        3. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

          Does that term work for male lesbians?

          1. Dark Lord of the Cis   10 years ago

            I dunno. Ask Bruce Jenner.

  2. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

    Of course there are bills to pay - the off the books child support, the hush money, the blackmail, the slaver rings, the evil organization member fees...

    1. straffinrun   10 years ago

      I would love, though, to see the secret service protecting a homeless couple.

      1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

        "Cardboard box perimeter is secure."

        1. Libertarian   10 years ago

          I have visual contact with a guy with a match. Go! Go! Go!

          1. straffinrun   10 years ago

            *Clint Eastwood narrows gaze*

            1. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

              Nice.

      2. sloopyinTEXAS   10 years ago

        I'd prefer to see the SS agents standing in the prison watchtower or walking the yard alongside Bill and Hillary, secretly hoping they will get shanked so their awful detail could end.

        1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

          Only if its the drunkards and the guys who failed to pay their whores who get the detail.

          1. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

            So....the entirety of the Service then?

            1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

              Well, they only get so much time out of their own cells, so the detail has to be proportionally larger for coverage.

    2. Inigo M.   10 years ago

      Evil organizations? I see her wearing these practical shoes that have a poison spike hidden in the toe. And the group's led by Soros with his white cat. It could be called S.P.E.C.T.R.E. -- Spectacularly Progressive Evil C*nts Transforming Rational Economics.

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        Nicely done, Indigo, nicely done.

        *copies and pastes into word document for future plagiaristic use*

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Indigo should have been Inigo.

          I apologize, Mr. Montana, for the mistake.

          1. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

            His name is Inigo Montoya, you misspelled his name, prepare to die.

            1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

              What, you've never heard of Indigo Montana, the blue man of the Black Hills?

              1. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

                His rough ridin' outlaw gang...Blue Man Group?

                1. Florida Man   10 years ago

                  ^this exchange....better than anything Bok has ever done.

              2. Loki   10 years ago

                I thought maybe he was referring to Tony Montana's tranny (NTTAWWT) cousin.

            2. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

              "His name is Inigo Montoya, you misspelled his name, prepare to die."

              Yeah - not only did I misspell his first name, I misspelled his second name when making the correction. Sheesh.

              Im misspelling leff an rite this mourning.

    3. Libertarian   10 years ago

      "One Dirty Little Secret To Eliminate 15 Years of Mortgage Payments"

  3. Slammer   10 years ago

    Bill's nose is a perfect scrotum. Well done, Bok, near photo realistic.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      You might want to see a doctor.

      1. Slammer   10 years ago

        The Doctor

        1. Lady Bertrum   10 years ago

          Obligatory:

          Lunch Money Lewis

  4. straffinrun   10 years ago

    Shouldn't be Bill holding that sign, it should be a Russian Uranium mining CEO.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      Shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?

  5. Almanian!   10 years ago

    I don't get it.

    Awful. Therefore, perfect.

    Happy fucking Friday. I don't have the energy for my usual tirade, so let me just wish you all dead in the foulest manner imaginable, and we'll leave it at that.

    Also....

    *SLAP!!!!*

    1. Slammer   10 years ago

      "I recognize your style...Drunken Lizard...I challenge YOU!" *SRAP*

    2. Swiss Servator, Switzier!   10 years ago

      *blindly slaps in every direction*

      1. gaijin   10 years ago

        ow! hey, what the...

        1. Cdr Lytton   10 years ago

          It's that narrowed gaze of his. It's so narrow, Swissy can no longer see.

    3. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      *slap!*

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        *slap!*

  6. Cdr Lytton   10 years ago

    LunchMoney Willie?

  7. PH2050   10 years ago

    Six figure speaking engagement fees are, like, for poor people, man.

  8. C. S. P. Schofield   10 years ago

    If I were Bill, I would be hiding in a very deep hole. Shrillary's best hope,,so,far as I can see, is that Bill gets assassinated and she picks up the sympathy vote. Ad knowing her, I wouodn't put it past her to arrange just that.

    1. Faceless Commenter   10 years ago

      Which reason commentatorialist first floated something like that?

      Hillary Campaign Plan: At some point in the general, Bill gets sick; has a stroke or something. No one gets to see him; we just get the word. Hillary then plays the role of stoic, faithful wife and all-around strong woman, Chelsea a corresponding daughter role, and they all get to the White House on sympathy plus the assurance that Bill is now safely desexualized.

      OTOH, c'mon. What percentage of Hillary's current and future political success is Bill? Past, of course, is 100%.

  9. adolphowisner   10 years ago

    My Aunty Kayla recently got a stunning green Dodge Caliber Wagon just by working online with a pc.
    look at this site ????????????? http://www.jobsfish.com

    1. Inigo M.   10 years ago

      A Dodge Caliber? Perhaps she bought it as a replacement for her Pontiac Aztec. Aim high, eh Aunty Kayla?

  10. OldOllie   10 years ago

    Bill and Hillary Clinton are the most corrupt politicians in the history of the republic by two orders of magnitude.

  11. Cheap Converse Trainers Sale   10 years ago

    So upset,I don't get it.

  12. yopuge   10 years ago

    Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
    This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.netjob80.com

  13. yopuge   10 years ago

    Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
    This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.incomejoin70.com

  14. pukelsheim   10 years ago

    I make up to $90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $40h to $86h? Someone was good to me by sharing this link with me, so now i am hoping i could help someone else out there by sharing this link... Try it, you won't regret it!......
    http://www.work-cash.com

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