A.M. Links: Conservatives Win Big in British Election, Rand Paul Cheers NSA Court Ruling, Obama Pushes Pacific Free Trade Plan

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  • Credit: White House / Flickr.com

    Prime Minister David Cameron and his Conservative Party have achieved a massive victory in the British general election.

  • President Barack Obama will visit Nike headquarters in Oregon today to make the case for the Trans Pacific Partnership free trade agreement.
  • Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) praised yesterday's federal court ruling which found NSA gathering of American telephone metadata to be illegal under federal law. "We are anticipating and eager for this to get to the Supreme Court," Paul said.
  • "The FBI warned police in Garland, Texas, about three hours before a shooting at a weekend exhibit of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad that one of the gunmen who launched the failed attack was interested in the event, FBI Director James Comey said on Thursday."

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  1. Prime Minister David Cameron and his Conservative Party have achieved a massive victory in the British general election.

    You know who else bombed in Britain?

    1. Guy Fawkes… no wait, he didn’t

      1. But V did.

    2. The Irish Republican Army?

      1. ^xclnt!

        1. cxln(t)?

      2. Rep. Peter King (R-NY)?

    3. Hello.

      “President Barack Obama will visit Nike headquarters in Oregon today to make the case for the Trans Pacific Partnership free trade agreement.”

      Are you sure it’s not to scold them about something.

      1. No! It’s central to Michelle’s badgering of the youth to stay healthy!

        Nevermind free phones, it’s all about free sneakers!

        1. Sneakers is the new code word for thug.

    4. Miley Cyrus?

    5. Madonna?

    6. Russell Brand?

  2. Today marks the 70th anniversary of the defeat of the Nazis in World War II.

    You know who else- Oh, wait…

    1. The Jews?

    2. I watched The Great Escape with my wife last night; she having not seen it before.
      Never ever get tired of that film.

      1. I watched Airport on TCM. Trashy, but a hell of a lot of fun.

      2. That is a great movie. I could say a lot of things about why I like it, but I will just say it is great.

      3. What a great movie. Even my 12 year old loves it.

      4. “What do they call a mole in Scotland?”

        1. Pre-cancerous?

      5. Jawohl Herr Oberst.

  3. Chlamydia outbreak hits abstinence-only Texas high school, making officials rethink sex ed

    http://www.nydailynews.com/lif…..-1.2212306
    Now that’s funny.

    1. Following in Shreek’s linky footsteps…

        1. I believe BP posted that yesterday.

          1. That’s right, British Petroleum posted that yesterday here.

        2. Shreek link from the other day. We verified he is still a moron, and the school isn’t abstinence only. They merely teach sex ed for only 3 days in a school year while promoting abstinence as the best form of contraception. Hardly controversial.

          1. Imagine suggesting that alcohol education should be done on the premise that, since the kids are going to drink anyhow, we ought to be teaching them to drink safely.

            1. Just so we’re clear Ted, I support drinking and sex.

              1. At the same time!?? Isn’t that kind of, y’know, rapey?

                1. I record all of my sexual encounters for evidence.

                  1. Add “revenge porn” to the charges!

                    Your crimes know no bounds, do they?

                2. Even worse, it’s spilly!

            2. What about firearms training?

              Oh wait, we would need a ton of adult diapers to hand out to the school bureaucrats.

              1. I remember my “Rec Sports” class my senior year of high school…and our trips to the archery and gun range as a part of the class. Those were good days.

                1. We had archery in high school (no gun range, though). It was great.

                  One of the safety rules was that if you did something incredibly stupid and shot someone, it was your job to keep them from pulling the arrow out until the ambulance came. Of course that never happened.

              2. The same thing I said about drinking also applies to firearms… well except for the dinner and moderation parts.

              3. What about firearms training?

                Oregon teenager is already trolling the animists:

                http://www.oregonlive.com/educ…..arten.html

            3. Meh, the difference is that drinking doesn’t transmit communicable diseases but unprotected sex, and even protected sex can while abstinence cannot. Not teaching that abstinence is the best method of birth control and works best to prevent STD’s would be ignoring the science, wouldn’t it?

              I’m not advocating abstinence-only teaching but it should definitely be taught as the best option to prevent STD’s and pregnancy.

              Not that sex-ed belongs in the public school system anyway. Or alcohol-ed.

              1. Meh, the difference is that drinking doesn’t transmit communicable diseases but unprotected sex, and even protected sex can while abstinence cannot.

                Irresponsible drinking often leads to unprotected sex, so I’d argue the two go hand in hand.

                1. hand in hand

                  ur doing it wrong.

                  1. Damn thee! DAMN THEE TO HELL!

                2. Irresponsible drinking often leads to unprotected sex, so I’d argue the two go hand in hand.

                  That’s not what you’re doing with your hands during drunken sex, is it?

              2. Drinking can kill you directly, though.

                Isn’t the abstinence thing utterly obvious?

                I agree, though. It is distressing how public schools try more and more to be all things to their students: parent, cop, jailer, nutritionist, etc.

            4. Actually this is exactly what parents should do with regards to drinking. Let them have a beer or wine with dinner or whatever growing up. It removes the forbidden fruit factor because the parents are ok with it, it removes the coolness factor because they’re drinking at dinner with their parents, plus it teaches them how to moderate their drinking while they’re in a family environment, instead of learning it the hard way at some drunk frat boy’s party.

              Americans need to stop being such puritanical tightasses with regards to drinking.

              1. Americans need to stop being such puritanical tightasses with regards to drinking.

                1. ^^^ So much this.

                  1. I am contacting M.A.D.D. about about you people.

              2. Or give them bitter beer so they’ll hate the taste. Their reaction is always great….

                Of course I once told a student that Wasabi was Guacamole, so maybe I’m not the best person for advice when dealing with teens.

          2. Certified Public Asskicker|5.8.15 @ 9:06AM|#
            “We verified he is still a moron,”

            You misspelled “liar”.

        3. Yesterday he was demanding cake and waving that link around screaming SOCONZ!!!!

          1. Figures. I still think it’s funny.

            1. Just walk away… just… walk… away…

              1. that’s my line *invisible pout through iron mask*

    2. Jesus is the best condom.

      1. Tell that to the loaves and fishes.

      2. Jesus fucks people?

        1. Well, I’m human, too. Why can’t I fuck people? No fatties though.

          1. Fatties are people, too. Arguably more people than you or I could ever be.

      3. You don’t need to use a condom if you take it up the butt for Jesus

        1. I refrained from any liquid consumption prior to watching just from the title and frame picture. Saved a nasal douching.

    3. “We may wash our hands of this stinking issue”

    4. Chicago public schools also seem to have abstinence-only sex ed:

      ” In the nation, Chicago ranks 1st and 2nd, respectively, for
      the highest rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia infections among young people aged 15?19 years….

      “For the 12 high schools that completed [a] pilot testing program during the 2010?2011 school year,

      “? 3,189 students received HIV/STI prevention education and 2,188 students were tested.

      “? 289 students tested positive for an STI; 280 have received treatment thus far.”

      http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyout…..11_chi.pdf

      1. It’s not a sin to use HTML tags, Eddie.

        1. No, but it *is* a hassle.

          Why don’t you stalk Bar Rafaeli like a normal, healthy man?

          1. No, but it *is* a hassle.

            Hassle? Are you talking about condoms? That may just explain the chlamydia outbreak.

            1. html links give you cancer – the science is settled.

              1. Consensus!

          2. Italics tags are hardly any more effort than quotes.

          3. Why don’t you stalk Bar Rafaeli like a normal, healthy man?

            Oh, another whine about stalking when I simply respond to one of his many posts on this thread. Persecution syndrome in full bloom today, eh, Eddie?

            And, Eddie implies that I’m abnormal and unhealthy because I’m not attracted to women. We all know you feel that way, Eddie, but thanks for finally admitting how you really feel about the homos.

        2. If God wanted Eddie to use HTML tags, Tonio, he would have miracled them into his posts, now wouldn’t he have, Tonio?

          1. LOL. Good one, Warty.

    5. I remember before condoms were invented there were millions of unwanted babies strewn about the streets. You could barely walk to the store to get an onion for your belt without tripping over them. STD’s were so rampant most people’s dicks would rot off by the age of 25. Then Sex Ed came along and gave us birth control and condoms and single parents and STD’s plummeted to the levels we see today.

      1. Are you a new TEAM RED whiner, or have you been around a while?

        1. Warty,

          I took Anderson’s post as heavy sarcasm akin to sarc’s treatment earlier in the week of the Federal agency in charge of wildlife management (before the Federal agency was created there was no wildlife).
          Did you see/detect something I missed?

          1. Seems like it might be a suggestion that birth control technology has ruined the morals of our young people or something.

          2. Sounded to me like whining about the good old days before the Pill.

          3. I’m with Warty on this one. Sounds like SoCon whining, not sarcasm. The tipoff for me was “single parents” (by which they mean sluts) which isn’t a liberty issue, but sure is a SoCon issue.

            1. Thank you all for your thoughts and impressions.

              I suppose it’s for Mr. Anderson/Neo to make clear at this point.

      2. Hey kids, here’s some hints to feed into your sarcometers so they catch this next time!

        “get an onion for your belt ”

        “dicks would rot off by the age of 25”

  4. BBQ joint to host ‘White Appreciation Day’

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/…../70993400/

    MILLIKEN, Colo. ? The Hispanic owners of a barbecue restaurant in Milliken say they plan to host a “White Appreciation Day” next month.
    What started as a joke is now on the calendar. Edgar Antillon and Miguel Jimenez recently purchased Rubbin Buttz BBQ on Broad Street. On June 11, they plan to offer a 10% discount to all white customers and no one else.
    “We have a whole month for black history month,” Antillon said. “We have a whole month for Hispanic heritage month, so we thought the least we could do was offer one day to appreciate white Americans.”

    1. Dammit, they couldn’t put it during my vacation?

    2. Rubbin Buttz BBQ

      Now that’ marketing genius

    3. Oh my God, this will freak the progs out.

      Be careful, sir. Be very wary. Those self-righteous psychos love to put people out of business because distorted view of justice.

    4. “The Hispanic owners….”

      I’m not sure about this. I can see them being appreciated for their sense of humor by some and vilified as supporting entrenched racism and patriarchy by many more.

      I suppose the planned event will start a much needed dialogue about the new/”reverse” types of double standards we have been seeing.
      .

        1. Up next: “Privileged White Jewish Hispanics”.

          1. +1 Juan Epstein

            1. “Hello, I’m Bucky Goldstein.”

    5. In this particular case, Hispanic counts as white.

    6. This will not end well.

      1. Free speech aside … they should probably lay in some extra briskets.

        1. They should have a cross-promotion with The Gap.

  5. “We are anticipating and eager for this to get to the Supreme Court,” Paul said.

    And see that, either way they rule, nothing changes.

  6. Australia PM advisor says climate change a U.N.-led ruse to create new world order

    http://www.japantimes.co.jp/ne…..UyycJPqWPW
    Obligatory Ministry

    1. WE MUST SLAY THULSA DOOM!

    2. I am not expecting this to go anywhere but I hope beyond hope that others like him around the world are encouraged to come out and make a stand.

  7. ‘Beth vs Beth’: Woman celebrates dramatic TEN STONE weight loss with incredible before-and-after portraits in which she stars twice… using photos taken two years apart
    Beth Beard, Toronto, Canada, had gastric bypass surgery in spring of 2012
    Approached photographer friend Blake Morrow to capture weight journey
    ‘The Beth Project’ sees two versions of Beth Photoshopped together
    Beth poses as a boxer, a diva, an astronaut, a prisoner and a prison guard

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..apart.html
    All I see is two fat women.

    1. I think that she had an excellent idea and I enjoyed the creativity of the pictures.

    2. Paging John to the thread, John to the thread please.

    3. I have a gal pal who’s had the surgery recently. She looks a lot better, but there is still more to go. I think she was close to 300 lbs, she’s now closer to 200. The odd thing is that her jaw seems to have come loose, it’s like she has lost muscle control over her jaw.

      1. I do not want to seem inappropriate here, but…umm…pics?

        1. What about the shark attack he described makes you think “Oh, this I gotta see”?

          1. I like a very saggy jowl, that is what I was trying to say.

            1. Eww! / teenage girl.
              Aside, Pics wouldn’t show this, because it would have to be a video. She’s fine in pics.

            2. Eww! / teenage girl.
              Aside, Pics wouldn’t show this, because it would have to be a video. She’s fine in pics.

            3. I like a very saggy jowl, that is what I was trying to say.

              Goiter porn?

    4. Why do we celebrate the lard-asses that get a gastric bypass and then show off to the world? We ought to show a bunch of the pictures of the doctor that saved their life, not the fucking slobs that cheated to lose the weight they (almost always) gain because they’re lazy as fuck.

      1. I’ve never seen anyone who has had that surgery and seemed healthy afterwards. Personally if it were me I would just prefer being fat then having that sort of surgery.

        1. Longevity is much better in people who have had the surgery and lost the weight than in those who have not. Heart disease and diabetes will kill you a lot quicker than malaise.

    5. She’s no slim hottie. But losing that Jabba the Hut look counts for a lot.

  8. Why Joni Mitchell fears she’s being eaten alive by bugs from outer space

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..space.html

    ‘I have this weird, incurable disease that sounds like it’s from outer space,’ the singer declared.
    ‘Fibres in a variety of colours protrude out of my skin like mushrooms after a rainstorm … they cannot be forensically identified as animal, vegetable or mineral.
    ‘Morgellons is a slow, unpredictable killer ? a terrorist disease: it will blow up one of your organs, leaving you in bed for a year.’

    Ummmmm…. sure…. whatever you say….

    1. Will they put up a parking spot in her honor?

      1. Lot. LOT.

      2. nice

    2. She’s nuts and overrated. Feel sorry for her but never got the love for her music.

      1. She’s a fine song writer, but not much of a performer.

      2. In the late 70’s she basically had Weather Report for her backing band…it was amazing.

      3. She isn’t someone I go out of my way to listen to, but she is undeniably very talented.

    3. It’s all right here, she’s delusional.

  9. Stunning pictures reveal hundreds of World War Two aircraft lost for over 70 YEARS on Pacific Ocean seabed
    The find includes historic American aircraft including Douglas SBD Dauntless dive bombers and a F4U Corsair
    Brandi Mueller discovered the planes while scuba diving around five miles from Roi-Namur in the Marshall Islands

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..eabed.html
    Cool pics.

    1. Way cool. Thanks for that. And I’m sure you straight guys can appreciate Brandi Mueller who discovered and photographed the wrecks.

      Anyone know if it would be worthwhile to try and recover those aircraft and restore them if only as lawn ornaments?

      1. No chance – that long in seawater, if you could lift it out, and not have it fall apart, it would be in miserable shape. Sad, isn’t it?

        1. “No chance – that long in seawater, if you could lift it out, and not have it fall apart, it would be in miserable shape. Sad, isn’t it?”

          So long as the serial number plate is good, you’re golden…

      2. I don’t think so. Not after spending that much time in salt water. I have seen pics of planes that were submerged in fresh water, and they were in great condition. Like almost worth restoring. But after that long in salt water they’ll just rot into nothing after being pulled out.

      3. Fit, attractive talented women are not my thing, but thanks anyway.

        1. I too prefer to single out the wounded gazelles in the herd.

      4. She’s a fine girl, probably would make a wonderful wife

        1. Such a fine girl… ??

        2. Your wife, your lover, your lady, is the sea?

          1. The Looking Glass rocked (in their own way).

    2. Flight 19? Alien relocation plan?

  10. Hair-raising horrors! Next time you go to the barbers be warned… the most DISASTROUS salon styles of all time revealed
    Going to the hairdresser can be a terrifying time for some people
    Others tend to embrace their creativity and opt for a crazy cut
    But as FEMAIL shows here, a lot of the time these go terribly wrong

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..ealed.html
    I like the pineapple cut. That’s pretty cool.

    1. The fake-face cut next to that is clever.

  11. A panel of retired judges will examine the propriety of those arrests and determine if they led to wrongful convictions.

    If only judges had been involved somewhere in the initial disposition of the cases.

    1. With *retired* judges, you get the necessary impartiality.

  12. Shocking dashcam video shows white officer kicking black man in the face while suspect was on his hands and knees
    WARNING: GRAPHIC FOOTAGE
    Footage shows Thomas Webster ‘assaulting’ Lateef Dickerson in 2013
    Video was released by Dover police following a federal judge’s ruling
    Dickerson, 30, was knocked unconscious and suffered a broken jaw
    Webster, 41, has since been charged with assault following the incident

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..eased.html
    These videos would be more shocking if there weren’t so commonplace. The only part that’s shocking is that the cop has actually been charged with a crime.

    1. Fucking goddamn pussies… pants-wetting fags scared of their own shadows…

    2. I hope he didn’t send any racist texts – or else there will be an investigation.

  13. She’s got it licked: The 18-year-old who can touch her nose, chin, eye and ELBOW with record-breaking four-inch tongue
    Adrianne Lewis hopes to be crowned a Guinness World Record breaker
    The world’s current longest tongue is just 3.9 inches long
    Adrianne has her own YouTube channel where she shows off her tricks

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..n-EYE.html
    Gene Simmons is jealous.

  14. The picture that ‘BREAKS YOUR BRAIN’: Bizarre trick transforms black and white lines into red and green – and the effect can last for THREE MONTHS
    The McCullough effect was found by a psychologist in Canada in 1965
    It involves staring at a black and white test image for up to a minute
    This is followed by staring at horizontal and vertical red and green lines
    This will cause a red and green tint to appear on the original test image

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..ONTHS.html
    My head hurts.

    1. it can make you see black and white as green and red for up to three and a half months

      “Do I feel lucky?”

  15. Stunning Bar Refaeli proudly shows off her enviable model legs in thigh-skimming LBD as she parties at Terrazza Martini VIP launch

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..aunch.html
    I’ve always been a sucker for a nice set of legs. Damn.

    1. She’s attractive, but is she so much more attractive than other ladies to justify her getting paid buttloads of money to pose for photographs?

        1. OK, those pictures look good.

          Better than serving in the Golan Heights, I suppose.

      1. No.

    2. I love her. I have a real thing for Israeli women

      1. Too bad her biggest claim to fame is being Leo’s ex.

    3. Those pictures make that race-car driver look like he’s 4′ tall.

  16. Spot the Not: Tales of conversion from Salon

    1. I was a childhood racist

    2. I was a right-wing sidekick: What I discovered working for the anti-woman right

    3. I was poor, but a GOP die-hard: How I finally left the politics of shame

    4. I was once a climate change denier

    5. I was a lying telephone psychic

    6. I was an American sniper, and Chris Kyle’s war was not my war

    1. Hah! You can’t fool me…those are all from Salon.

    2. 1 – it sounds like I Was a Teenage Werewolf.

    3. Six?

    4. Imma say 6 too… though they could all be Salon…so fucking stupid..

    5. #1 sounds like something from The Jerk.

    6. Well, this is a STN first. I intended 4 to be the Not, but it turns out there is a Salon article with that exact title. Derp minds think alike.

      gaijin wins!

    7. 5 – no TEAM angle

    8. 1. I was a childhood racist

      Does this mean you only hate minority children?

  17. Nick Cave’s Red Right Hand – The Dr Seuss version

    1. Awesome! Thank you! Nick Cave’s music is a Halloween camping staple for us.

    2. Excellent! Thanks for posting. It’s cold and rainy here today, so I think a Nick Cave retrospective would be a perfect way to spend the day. I’m off to Spotify!!!

    3. The same dude’s Seussification of “The Call of Cthulhu” is amazing too.

        1. Here you go, Swiss: http://flavorwire.com/218421/h…..seuss-book

          1. WHY DOESN’T IT RHYME!?

            Something cannot be Seusscraft unless it Rhymes!

  18. Spot the Not: Salon vs. Fox News

    1. I lost my dad to Fox News: How a generation was captured by thrashing hysteria

    2. Fox News tried to tear my family apart: How they failed to incite my father

    3. Fox News favorite network among racists and uneducated

    4. Fox News and talk radio brainwashed my dad

    5. Jon Stewart unloads on Fox News in exclusive: “Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing ? I live in a constant state of depression”

    6. Fox News more trusted than any other network, according to terrifying poll

    1. 4

    2. 1 2 3 4 5 6

      1. Showoff.

    3. Ima say #1. The left doesn’t like the word hysteria because it’s derived from the same root as uterus, and therefore anti-woman.

    4. 3 is the Not. No winners.

  19. Spot the Not: Salon confessions

    1. I was a right-wing nut: Confessions of a Rush Limbaugh fan

    2. Why I fled libertarianism ? and became a liberal

    3. My horrible right-wing past: Confessions of a one-time religious right icon

    4. Confessions of a former Libertarian: My personal, psychological and intellectual epiphany

    5. Confessions of a recovering Libertarian: How I escaped a world of Ron Paul hero worship

    6. Confessions of a Romney speechwriter

    1. I say 5.

    2. 2

    3. 1?

      1. Winner!

        Your prize is an Agile Cyborg Fact:

        Agile Cyborg doesn’t just think outside the box, he thinks outside the tesseract.

    4. No guess, but sounds like the new proggie pr0n is going to be stories of libertarians seeing the error of their ways and embracing collectivism.

      1. “Is going to be”? Salon has had an “I used to be a libertarian until I saw the light” column at least monthly for the last two years.

        1. My favorite was the one where the author realized he couldn’t be a libertarian because libertarianism wouldn’t allow him to force other people to subscribe to his Buddhist morality. It was fantastic, the dude didn’t understand what libertarianism OR Buddhism was about.

          1. The premise of these stories always seems to be “I have no idea what libertarianism is, butI’m no longer a libertarian because mother government is good!”

  20. The FBI warned police in Garland, Texas, about three hours before a shooting at a weekend exhibit of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad that one of the gunmen who launched the failed attack was interested in the event…

    “But don’t blame us; the NSA didn’t give us that information until four hours before the shooting.”

    1. interested in the event

      Wow! What solid and useful intel!! Why didn’t they increase security at the event??? oh, wait….

  21. ” President Barack Obama will visit Nike headquarters in Oregon today to make the case for the Trans Pacific Partnership free trade agreement.”

    So he’s actually gonna reveal what in the blue fuck it is, or is he just gonna make a bunch of vague promises with empty rhetoric?

    1. I don’t think he understands it, and can’t get his own head above vague promises and empty rhetoric.

    2. We have to pass it to find out what’s in it.

      1. That’s what my doctor said.

        1. Eww! /teenage girl.

    3. So he’s actually gonna reveal what in the blue fuck it is, or is he just gonna make a bunch of vague promises with empty rhetoric?

      He’s going to talk about the virtues of Bangladeshi sweatshops and how those jobs help children to avoid a life of prostitution in the streets of Dhaka.

      On another note, you seriously can’t ever say “Barack Obama” and “empty rhetoric” in the same sentence. Unless you want to be the king of redundancy.

  22. Reposted from UK election thread: Galloway loses seat, blames Zionists and racists

    George Galloway delivered a typically eccentric speech after he suffered a stunning defeat at the hands of Labour’s Naz Shah.

    The Respect party MP, who lost his Bradford West seat with 8,557 votes to Shah’s 19,977 said he feared the “racists and Zionists” would be celebrating long into the night upon hearing the news.

    “I don’t begrudge the Labour members here their moment of celebration of course,” he said.

    “But there will be others who are already celebrating: the venal, the vile, the racists and the Zionists will all be celebrating. The hyena can bounce on the lion’s grave but it can never be a lion and in any case, I’m not in my grave. As a matter of fact I’m going off now to plan the next campaign.”

    The victory will be particularly sweet for Shah, who Galloway accused of lying about the details of her forced marriage and troubled childhood in an open letter she wrote earlier this year.

    He lost to a Muslim woman who was horrifically abused as a child by her Islamic family.

    1. Nothing about the UK election results makes me happier than Galloway getting his ass handed to him.

      1. That was absofuckenbeautiful. Piece of shit deserves it.

    2. I am confused –

      Alberta goes full retard socialist,

      The UK inches somewhat more sensibly.

      1. /still angry. Narrows gaze.

      2. Electing the Tories is only sensible by comparison to Red Ed.

        1. Most things sensible in the UK require a qualifier.

    3. I love Galloway because he talks like he learned English from a 1927 Trotskyist tract.

      1. I love Galloway because he talks like he learned English from a 1927 Trotskyist tract

        The Respect party MP, who lost his Bradford West seat

        At least, Galloway didn’t learn to the spell the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T from Obama.

  23. It’s always nice to see an unemployed person have an employer take a chance on them.

    Well, maybe not always.

    1. I misread the headline at first and thought he was hired in Beerville.

      1. I thought he was still talking about Galloway.

    2. Did you read the comments? Holy cow.

      1. You’ve got to wonder if people really deserve the government they have.

      2. This one?

        Chuck Holley ? Top Commenter ? Victoria, Texas

        Every single person deserves a second chance. I’m glad he was able to find a job doing what he loves.

        He loves to throw old men to the ground and use a stun gun on them. What in holy fuck is wrong with some people?

    1. Yes! I was sad when I misplaced the manufacturer’s ‘shred of the day’ link. Sure, it’s advertizing for their product, but tell me it isn’t fascinating

    2. That’s pretty good. They should shred a corpse…like in Fargo.

    3. I’m impressed – the bulletproof glass almost managed to stop the shredder

      1. Porn for engineers?

    4. But will it blend ?

      1. 1 ton coconuts, 2 tons pineapples, and swimming pool of rum, STAT!

  24. So I got stuck eating a bagel in a place that had CNN on this morning. I generally don’t watch any TV news. My God was it appalling. They were talking about the unemployment numbers. So they give the “lowest in nine years” line about unemployment but then actually talked about the labor force participation rate. So, at first I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe they were going to give some useful context. Fat chance. The newsreader then proceeded to describe it as a “political figure” and talk about how the Republicans and Democrats are fighting over what it means.

    The next segment was on whether “Hillary Clinton was taking bribes”. As if destroying emails and creating the unbelievable appearance of impropriety is really no big deal. All that matters is whether we can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she took bribes.

    1. ‘So I got stuck eating a bagel in a place…’

      Who gets stuck eating a bagel in a place?

      1. I went to a place that has good ones that I don’t get to go to very often. I sit down to eat and there was CNN.

      2. I hate bagels. Sometimes…

        No, nevermind. I have never been forced to eat one. Poor John.

    2. I feel for you. I have been recently subjected to the same thing – CNN exposure via waiting rooms, etc. It’s like their interpretation of the news is completely different. It’s almost insane.

      1. Watched CNN in the airport bar in Greenville, SC last week. The wife and I were fascinated. The “reality” presented on screen and our reality are two absolutely different things. It was like watching Martian news. And the advertisements were surreal.

        1. Ack. Ack, ack….

    3. All you have left is BUT THE LFP! LOOK AT THE LFP!

      1. 1st quarter GDP 0.2% that will likely be revised lower.

        The U6 unemployment rate is 11%. Since the U3 rate counts you as employed even if you work only a couple hours in a reporting period the U6 rate is a more accurate representation.

        The labor force participation rate shows how many have just given up and quit looking for work. Since the unemployment numbers only count those who are actually looking for work it should scare you that we have record numbers of people not even looking for work.

        Is it easy having that many cocks down your throat?

      2. BBBUUUUUUTTTTPPPPLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUG

      3. As opposed to LOOK AT THE SHINY U3 NUMBERS

        AND THE JOB CREATION STAT THAT GETS REVISED DOWN EVERY. TIME.

        So, yeah, I’ll stick with the indicator as to how many people are still working, thanks.

      4. Palin’s Buttplug|5.8.15 @ 9:42AM|#
        “All you have left…”

        Which beat your lies and cherry-picking all hollow, turd. Not to mention that you put no time dimension on it; even screwing the market as Obo did, he can’t keep it down forever.
        Next time you want to be believed, tell us dollars and *time*, or STFU.

  25. Kill an industry, offer a training program as compensation. Way to support the poor!

    http://www.lex18.com/story/290…..ry-decline

  26. ONLY TWO REPUBLICANS ADMIT THEY ACTUALLY READ SECRET OBAMA TRADE DEAL?BOTH UNSUPPORTIVE

    A secret “living” agreement — what could *possibly* go wrong?

    1. Get a copy of the damned thing and go to the floor of the House or the well of the Senate and read it into the record. Congress creatures have complete immunity for anything they say on the floor. These people have no balls.

      1. I think they were only allowed to view it alone in a guarded room, handed one page at a time.

        1. Take a picture of it with your cell phone. Or take notes and then read the notes aloud. This is fucking tyranny.

          1. Calm down, John. We’re at economic war with the whole fucking world.

          2. Actually, they’ve been barred from bringing phones and notetaking material to the agreement.

            1. You are shitting me. Seriously?

              1. That fact alone tells me that it is such an anathema that it must not pass. (but probably will because we have the stupidest congress in the world)

            2. The Senate should flat out refuse to cooperate with this nonsense and declare the treaty as not ratified and not law. Period. Whether the treaty is a good idea or even a great idea, the process here is critical.

      2. There was a story the other day on how they had to go to a special room and read it. They had to give up their cell phones and before they left they had to destroy any hand written notes.

        1. and another refresh fail

          /hangs head

    2. How can congress vote make congress irrelevant? How is there any way that an agreement can be modified after it is made by the executive without any congressional review? Is it just being paranoid to think this would be the legal basis for enabling all sorts of executive actions on other issues a la Interstate Commerce (but for the executive rather than congress)?

    3. Most transparent administration EVER.

    4. “If you want to hear the details of the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal the Obama administration is hoping to pass, you’ve got to be a member of Congress, and you’ve got to go to classified briefings and leave your staff and cellphone at the door,” Politico’s Edward-Isaac Dovere wrote earlier this week. “If you’re a member who wants to read the text, you’ve got to go to a room in the basement of the Capitol Visitor Center and be handed it one section at a time, watched over as you read, and forced to hand over any notes you make before leaving. And no matter what, you can’t discuss the details of what you’ve read.”

      Seriously

      What

      The

      Fuck!

      1. All trade agreements are secret until they are finalized prior to a vote. They go public for 90 days before Congress votes for or against it.

        You can’t have 535 cooks in the kitchen protecting their home state industries.

        1. BUUUUUUUUTTPPPLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

        2. Palin’s Buttplug|5.8.15 @ 9:47AM|#
          “All trade agreements are secret until they are finalized prior to a vote.”

          Cite?

      2. “The ‘living agreement’ provision means that participating nations could both add countries to the TPP without Congress’ approval (like China), and could also change any of the terms of the agreement, including in controversial areas such as the entry of foreign workers and foreign employees. Again: these changes would not be subject to congressional approval.

        “This has far-reaching implications: the Congressional Research Service reports that if the United States signs on to an international trade agreement, the implementing legislation of that trade agreement (as a law passed later in time) would supersede conflicting federal, state, and local laws. When this occurs, U.S. workers may be subject to a sudden change in tariffs, regulations, or dispute resolution proceedings in international tribunals outside the U.S.

        Oh I see,

        It’s an enabling act.

        A secret one that Congress will vote on site unseen.

        And the great thing about our fucked up political system is that even though it is blatantly unconstitutional, the courts will rule that no one has standing to oppose it.

      3. That makes the vote easy: No, HELL NO.

    5. What the fuck? Secret trade deals? Secret deals with Iran?

      Most transparent administration in history needs to go.

  27. My district is now home to the only Labour MP left in Scotland. (I can’t vote, but probably would have skipped it out of apathy anyway).

    Bash the UK all you want , the Tories actually cut overall year to year government spending, not just reductions in planned increases like the USA does. I think a Tory victory is good…for England anyway.

    1. It will be interesting to see if the Tories push through devolution like there’s been some talk of doing.

      1. My money is on both; devolution for the UK countries and UK out of EU.

      2. The Tories like Devo?
        It’s a Beautiful World.

        1. ARE WE NOT MEN?

    2. Good.

      England was on the wrong trajectory.

      1. Prepare yourselves for a mind-blowing Krugman column.

        1. Austerity! Cruelty! Fundamentalists!

          There you go… I said in 3 words what Krugman says in 300, and gets paid $300k for.

          1. The Austerian School of Economics?

    3. Was welfare spending actually cut, or just Defense?

  28. So now, not only are they not required to place themselves in danger and are “entitled to go home at the end of their ‘tour'”, they apparently think they are entitled to sit there and finish their sandwich instead of answer a 911 call.*

    *The lady died.

    FTA (emphasis mine): Lee County Sheriff Mike Scott says Deputy Fernandez’s actions were beyond negligent.

    We asked the sheriff about any other internal investigations connected to the case. He said the only person who was negligible in this was Fernandez. He doesn’t anticipate any other disciplinary action.

    SO much for “beyond negligent,” eh there Mikey?

    1. Paid vacation.

      1. At least in this case he was fired.

    2. I guess the more accurate slogan, then, is: To Be Served and To Be Protected

      1. +1

    3. When seconds count, the police are minutes away eating their sandwiches.

  29. Arizona con artist faked cancer to get tax-payer funded late-term abortion

    Chalice Renee Zeitner made up a story about having cancer in order to qualify for an abortion while on Arizona’s Medicaid insurance, and forged a doctor’s note to support her claim, according to charging documents.

    A doctor performed the abortion when Zeitner was 22-weeks pregnant.

    Arizona’s Medicaid, known as AHCCCS, will only pay for an abortion in cases of rape or incest or “medical necessity,” which include cases where the pregnancy causes or worsens a serious health risk to the mother.

    Zeitner, 29, received “what was thought to be a medically necessary late-term abortion,” court documents state.

    The abortion was performed in 2010.

    [snip]

    Attorney General Mark Brnovich’s office on Tuesday charged Zeitner with felonies including fraud, theft, and forgery. She has a history of skipping town when she gets into trouble with the law, according to court documents. While a warrant was issued Wednesday, records do not yet indicate that she has been arrested.

    Zeitner’s aborted child was born alive, weighing just more than one pound, documents state.

    “The baby lived for approximately 20 minutes and received no life-saving measure by hospital staff,” according to documents.

    Well that’s just evil.

    1. Zeitner’s aborted child was born alive, weighing just more than one pound, documents state.

      “The baby lived for approximately 20 minutes and received no life-saving measure by hospital staff,” according to documents.

      That’s rough.

    2. Debbie Wasserman Schulz approves this abortion.

    1. Cool! The polygon (human) face mask will probably be made illegal, so get it fast!

  30. Man is raped at gunpoint by THREE women so they could collect his semen in a cooler box

    a trend of women kidnapping and raping men using same method

    RAPE CULTURE!

    1. I’ve seen several movies with that plot.

      1. The trio … fondled him in the back of the car but he did not become aroused

        *That* plot?

        1. Well, I generally didn’t become too aroused.

          1. What is this ‘too aroused’? It sounds like english, but it makes NO DAMN SENSE!

            Also, reading the article, this sounds like a plot by the Chamber of Commerce to increase tourism.

      2. Species?

    2. That is some serious shit. They get pregnant and have a kid with his sperm, the courts won’t give a fuck that they raped him. He will be on the hook paying child support.

      1. The sad thing is you’re probably right, but hey lets talk more about the War on WOMYNZZZ!!!

    3. Was there some spanking and whipping involved or am I thinking of something else?

    4. You were raped by all those women?

      All except the short, fat one?

      Why is that?

      I didn’t fancy her.

      /Benny Hill

  31. Campus Rape may be real after all, so be sure to go to the pol-

    No, scratch that. Don’t go to the campus police after all.

    FTA: The officer is accused of raping a 25-year-old student. The woman told investigators the officer came to her room without being invited while she was visiting with another woman. Police say both women had been drinking.

    and

    As soon as police and IU officials learned of the incident, the officer was suspended without pay pending an investigation. The Monroe County Prosecutor’s Office says no charges will be filed, but are not saying why. The officer turned in his resignation Monday.

    Sounds like a legit investigation to me.

    1. water is wet

    2. So some law chief in Texas finally listened to his first Snoop Dogg album, huh?

  32. Pirate treasure of Captain Kidd found off coast of Madagascar

    Underwater explorers in Madagascar say they have discovered treasure belonging to the notorious 17th-Century Scottish pirate William Kidd.

    A 50kg (7st 9lb) silver bar was brought to shore on Thursday on the island of Sainte Marie, from what is thought to be the wreck of the Adventure Galley.

    The bar was presented to Madagascar’s president at a special ceremony.

    US explorer Barry Clifford says he believes there are many more such bars still in the wreck.

    Capt Kidd was first appointed by the British authorities to tackle piracy but later became a ruthless criminal and was executed in 1701.

    “Captain’s Kidd’s treasure is the stuff of legends. People have been looking for it for 300 years. To literally have it hit me on the head – I thought what the heck just happened to me. I really didn’t expect this,” Mr Clifford said.

    “There’s more down there. I know the whole bottom of the cavity where I found the silver bar is filled with metal. It’s too murky down there to see what metal, but my metal detector tells me there is metal on all sides.”

    The BBC’s Martin Vogl tweets that there is much excitement in Madagascar about the discovery and Mr Clifford’s team has no doubt that the discovery is genuine.

    Pirate treasures aaaarrrrgghhhhhh cool!

    1. “Capt Kidd was first appointed by the British authorities to tackle piracy but later became a ruthless criminal and was executed in 1701.”

      See what happens when the tax rates are too high?

    2. “aaaarrrrgghhhhhh”

      Your English teacher would be so disappointed; the correct pirate-y spelling is “aaarrrrrr.”

      “Aaaarrrrggghhh” is for when his parrot bites his finger.

      1. You don’t suppose he meant the Camauuuugh?

    3. I hope whoever salvages the stuff gets to keep it.

      1. You mean whichever government lays claim to it? I’m sure they will.

    4. He was actually a privateer commisioned by the crown but got fucked over when he went after the Qyeddah Merchant and it went bad politically..

      /pedant

      1. As read in:

        Captain Kidd’s Cat: Being the True and Dolorous Chronicle of Wm Kidd, Gent. & Merchant of New York, Late Captain of the Adventure Galley; of the Vicissitudes Attending His Unfortunate Cruise in Eastern Waters, of His Incarceration in Newgate Prison, of His Unjust Trial and Execution, as Narrated by His Faithful Cat, McDermot, who Ought to Know?

    5. I love this kind of stuff! Wish I had the money and resources to do things like this.

      1. Assassin’s Creed IV

  33. Florida cops charged in jailhouse beating and coverup.

    FTA: Jernigan, who served in the Marines, turned himself in to the Columbia County Jail on Monday and was charged with aggravated battery, failure to report and evidence tampering. Sims was arrested, with assistance from the Suwannee County Sheriff’s Office, on Monday in Live Oak and booked on charges of aggravated battery and failure to report.

    Seems like serious under-charging on this one. Too bad for the cops they aren’t in Illinois. They could just tell the judge they were trying to kill the guy and get the case thrown out!

    1. THAT’S NOT FUNNY!

      /Anita Alvarez

  34. Re: the trade deal (from the link):

    “I’m certain he will make that argument,” said Rep. Peter DeFazio, an Oregon Democrat, adding that the “savings from tariffs from Nike and other firms would more likely go to profits than they would accrue to the lowering of prices for consumers.”

    I’m sure DeFazio thinks Nike profits all go into Mr. Nike’s swimming pool in the form of gold coins in whcih Mr. Nike enjoys his evening exercise…
    OK, so he’s an econ ignoramus, but so is Obo. So why is Obo pushing this?

    1. You’re an idiot. You don’t even understand the benefits of free trade.

      Shoe tariffs top 50% and are leftover from Smoot-Hawley. Silicon Valley and the biotech industry are solidly behind Obama and the TPP.

      1. Of course they are.

        They’re cronies to the core, and not very bright about government and politics.

        1. So you support 50% shoe tariffs? Some classic liberals you and the other Peanuts are.

          This place is looney. It is all about TEAM RED! and hating Obama.

          1. Palin’s Buttplug|5.8.15 @ 10:06AM|#
            “So you support 50% shoe tariffs?”

            Turd beats on strawman! World yawns!
            Fuck off.

          2. You’ve read the deal? You know what’s in it? No, you haven’t. Parroting Team Blue talking points whilst decrying Team Red is atrocious. You really are a provable moron.

      2. BUUUUUUUTTTTPPPPPPLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUGG

      3. You’re an idiot. You don’t even understand the benefits of free trade.

        So this secret deal is “free trade”? And you call someone else an idiot? Fucking hilarious.

      4. Palin’s Buttplug|5.8.15 @ 9:49AM|#
        “You’re an idiot.”

        This from a fucking turd with a single-digit IQ.
        Fuck off, you slimy piece of shit.

  35. Was this posted and I missed it?

    “Video shows white officer kicking black man in face”
    “Police in Delaware have released dashcam video showing a white police officer kicking a black suspect in the face as he puts his hands on the ground. The officer was charged this week with assault”
    http://news.yahoo.com/video-sh…..02441.html

    1. Posted. Atrocious.

  36. Robert Reich isn’t even trying to argue anymore

    If the minimum wage in 1968 had simply kept up with inflation it would be more than $10 today. If it also kept up with the added productivity of American workers since then, it would be more than $21 an hour.

    Some opponents say minimum wage workers are teenagers seeking some extra pocket money.

    Wrong. Half are 35 or older, and many are key breadwinners for their families.

    And don’t believe scaremongers who say a $15 minimum will cause employers to cut employment.

    More money in people’s pockets means more demand for goods and services, which means more jobs not fewer jobs.

    Studies also show that when the minimum is raised more people are brought into the pool of potential employees, giving employers more choice of whom to hire. This reduces turnover and helps employers save money.

    Finally, employers who don’t pay enough to lift their employees out of poverty are indirectly subsidized by the rest of us …

    The minimum wage should be raised to $15 an hour. It’s the least that a decent society should require.

    Uh, did anyone see any actual argument in there? He just made a bunch of easily disprovable assertions.

    I wonder if he genuinely believes that or if he just has that much contempt for the idiots that will accept his position without question.

    1. He just made a bunch of easily disprovable assertions.

      They have emotional appeal, and that’s all that’s required to convince a leftist that something is true. Not only that, but you can’t reason someone out of a conclusion that they arrived at by emotion.

    2. Some of his comments are irrelevant besides:

      “If the minimum wage in 1968 had simply kept up with inflation it would be more than $10 today.”

      So what? Does he think the rate in 1968 was some sort of magical number? Does he further think that no employer pays higher than the legal low limit for even entry level help?

      1. According to the left, 1973 is when the middle class peaked. Since then it’s been all downhill. The middle class is now much poorer than they were in 1973 when air conditioning and microwave ovens were luxuries, when there were only two or three television channels and flat-screens weren’t even invented, when no one had a computer and the Internet wasn’t yet invented, when everyone’s telephone was the property of the phone company, and so on and so forth, because wages have stagnated.

        1. Don’t forget that the only safety feature in cars was the seatbelt. The traffic fatality rate has dropped to less than a third of what it was in the 70s.

        2. Also what happened right around that time?

          Oh right that is exactly when LBJ’s Great Society programs started coming online

    3. Studies also show that when the minimum is raised more people are brought into the pool of potential employees, giving employers more choice of whom to hire.

      Say what?

      1. With a raising of the price floor, supply increases, resulting in a surplus. What they ignore is the gap between the supply offered and the demand at that price point.

        1. It’s an irrelevant point at best. If an employer can’t find the labor he needs, he’ll raise wages anyway.

          1. Studies also show that when the minimum is raised more people are brought into the pool of potential employees, giving employers more choice of whom to hire.

            That can’t possibly be right. When you pass a law forcing employers to discriminate against anyone whose labor is valued beneath the arbitrary minimum set by the law, you necessarily have a smaller pool of potential employees to select from.

            1. They’re deliberately ignoring the changes to the demand side of the equation because it agrees with you. They only want those worth the new price, so demand less, leaving the aforementioned gap.

              1. Yes those survey results are so axiomatically illogical on their face you can actually judge that book by it’s cover.

          2. “It’s an irrelevant point at best. If an employer can’t find the labor he needs, he’ll raise wages anyway.”

            Not if you’re Tony! No way you raise wages without government direction!
            You want things to get all messed up with people making different amounts of money?

      2. Well, when you raise the minimum wage the employees that are the least productive are fired or laid off. Thus producing more potential employees in the system. Win Win

      3. Would love to see Reich and Don Boudreaux debate. LOVE it.

        1. Don is a terrible debater, and he’ll admit it himself. Speaking of which, what’s up with Cafe Hayek? It’s been down for a couple days now.

          1. Speaking of which, what’s up with Cafe Hayek? It’s been down for a couple days now.

            FREE MARKET FAILURE!

            Cafe Hayek must be nationalized.

    4. Has anyone seen Reich and Krugman in the same room at the same time?

      1. To be fair, Reich is easy to overlook in ANY room.

        1. You know who else had two Reichs to build on?

    5. This reduces turnover

      One thing he stated that’s likely correct. I don’t consider labor market calcification to be a positive development, though.

  37. The discovery of racist text messages exchanged by San Francisco police officers has resulted in a massive review of more than 3,000 arrests made by the SFPD. A panel of retired judges will examine the propriety of those arrests and determine if they led to wrongful convictions.

    Once again, the problem isn’t a heavy handed judicial system or deference for officers, or unjust sentencing laws or unjust laws in general, the problem is white people, as usual.

    1. Yeah, things will be fine if we balance it out with black cops making white-people jokes…or black-people jokes, for that matter.

      1. It could only be balanced out if there were more racist blacks cops. But that’s impossible because blacks just can’t be racist. Fact.

        1. “White cops run their sirens like *this*…and black cops run their sirens like *this*…”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L104LViQeIw

      2. No, because those black cops have absorbed their white colleagues’ privilege by subordinating themselves to the system dominated by white men.

        /salon

        1. I accept that premise at face value. /almost everyone under 30

  38. I’m planning on delving into the British left-wing press for PM links today so that we can bask in the mighty flow of prog tears.

    What sites would everyone like to hear from? The Guardian is a given, but I could also go check out the New Statesman, potentially find a UK feminist site, or just trawl the internet looking for Laurie Penny’s hilariously hysterical take on the Tory monsters who are going to forcefully impregnate her and tie her to a radiator.

    1. Sounds like good places to start.

      Especially the Guardian.

    2. yes pleaze

    3. Thanks for the warning. Rolaids, anyone?

    4. Go with the register so we can read articles where the authors use the word ‘boffin’ in place of ‘scientist’ 100 times per article…

    5. sloopy had a fun one in the Mirror

  39. Feds obliterate monthly revenue haul record with $472 billion in receipts in April, crushing last April’s number of $414 billion, leading to a record $155 billion surplus.

    Awesome freaking news, right, an incredible $155 billion monthly surplus? Now let’s get the bad news:

    Both taxes and spending are growing rapidly, at 9 percent and 7 percent, respectively…

    The CBO said the biggest spending increases are in Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security ? the big entitlement programs that are essentially on autopilot, with costs increasing as more poor, disabled and elderly people become eligible. Combined, they are up some $81 billion compared to the same time period from fiscal year 2014…

    Social Security has risen 4 percent this year, and Medicare has risen 8 percent, after unanticipated spending increases in 2014 left the government with a big bill at the beginning of this fiscal year…

    But the biggest leap has been in Medicaid, the federal-state partnership that provides health care to the poor, and which is up 22 percent, or $36 billion, over the previous year. CBO analysts said the increase was chiefly due to Obamacare, which has pushed millions of new customers into the program, drawing ever-more resources.

    1. Overall, the government has taken in $1.89 trillion in revenue, and spent $2.18 trillion through the first seven months of the fiscal year.

      So, despite taking in far more revenue in a month than ever before in our history, spending is still skyrocketing, and we’ve still accumulated almost $300 billion in deficits already; a pace of close to a half trillion in total deficits for the fiscal year. And by the way, these deficits are projected to start going back up again in a couple more years.

      1. So, despite taking in far more revenue in a month than ever before in our history,

        Not just our history, human history. No government or other criminal enterprise in the entire history of human existence has taken in more revenue from the productive class than the US government does every single year. They also spend squander more wealth than any other institution in human history, and it’s all stolen loot. Every single year they set the record for greatest heist in the known universe. Let’s keep the sheer monstrosity of that grand theft in perspective.

    2. You saw that entitlements are on “autopilot” didn’t you?

      Gee, and which president offered up an entitlement reform/cuts? It was done as part of Simpson-Bowles (hint)?

      One guess only!

      1. Uhhh, it was your messiah hero who summarily rejected Simpson-Bowles, you dumb fuck.

        1. Idiot. It didn’t make it out of committee. Obama and Senator Coburn supported it but the dumbasses in the House rejected it.

          1. BBBUUUUTTPPPLLLLUUUUUGGG

          2. Rejected by about 350 votes. Perhaps there was something amiss about the bill offered considering that it couldn’t crack 10% when the original proposal got 60% committee member approval.

      2. BBBBUUUUUUUTTTPPPPLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

      3. Yes, offered them up right after he got through an enormous Medicaid expansion. That doesn’t seem disingenuous at all.

        1. He’s even more of a disingenuous liar than scumbag Weigel here, who is constantly railing against the states who haven’t expanded Medicaid.

          Weigel loves ever-increasing welfare spending and is more thrilled than anyone here that we’ve basically turned into Europe.

      4. Gee, and which president offered up an entitlement reform/cuts?

        BOOOOSSSHHHHH.

    3. Remember, the problem is we are not taxed enough. It couldn’t be that we spend too much or that no amount of money would ever satiate Congress. Nope. We are all just a bunch of dead beats who don’t want to pay the price of civilization.

      1. Here in Maine the governor is trying to abolish the income tax and raise the sales tax. The Democrats are going crazy. I heard some debate on NPR about the subject, and in response to someone saying that the Democrats would never allow the repeal of the income tax, the host said “Thank God.” Seriously. Because rich people or something.

        1. Consumption based taxes are superior to income based taxes in every way. We really should be playing up their green benefits to start getting more proggies to support such a shift.

          1. Doesn’t matter. It’s all emotional. They like a progressive income tax because income inequality isn’t fair. It’s not about revenue or what’s better for the economy. It’s about making the rich pay their fair share (remember that the existence of rich people is proof that they don’t pay their fair share, because if they did then they wouldn’t be rich). And no amount of logic or reason can sway an opinion that was arrived at by emotion.

  40. Vermont State Senator Arrested for Sexual Assault

    Vermont State Police say Norman McAllister, 63 was arrested for sexual assault, prohibited acts and human trafficking.

    McAllister is a Republican State Senator for Franklin County, and was actively debating an education governance bill on the Senate floor Thursday evening.

    1. Human trafficking? Really?

  41. After apparently convincing himself he was influential, Russell Brand says he’ll quit politics after embarrassing Labour debacle

    Russell Brand has said he is going to step away from politics after believing he would be able to make an impact on this election.

    The comedian, who backed Ed Miliband, in the last minute made the revelation as he gave his verdict on the news that David Cameron and the Conservatives would take the helm for the next five year.

    In an emotional Trews news he said: “My only regret is that I thought I could be involved. People were telling me I could make a difference; even it was only a small thing.”

    He said: “When we interviewed Miliband I thought we could alter the outcome of the election , now I think we can’t influence the outcome of an election.”

    Trying to clarify his position, after being very vocal about not voting and politics in general he confessed: “I was feeling the same things they feel. It wasn’t as if I was the leader of the ‘don’t vote’ party, I was just another member of it. It’s not like I had any authority or power.”

    Looking towards the future he pleaded: “Wherever you fall the only currency is compassion and being nice to one other.

    Awww, now who will HuffPo solicit hysterically vapid columns from?

    1. From Wikipedia:

      “…a much publicised interview with Newsnight host Jeremy Paxman in 2013, in which he encouraged the British electorate not to vote and endorsed a system based on the “massive redistribution of wealth” to replace the status quo.”

      Numero uno, this implies that the UK isn’t *already* engaged in a massive redistribution of wealth.

      Numero two-o, how can voters attain that utopia without even voting for it? Sounds like one insanity cancels out the other.

      1. Numero two-o, how can voters attain that utopia without even voting for it? Sounds like one insanity cancels out the other.

        If any kind of utopia is attainable, it won’t be through the wisdom of a democratic majority.

    2. Wherever you fall the only currency is compassion and being nice to one other.

      I’m sure he’ll be accepting compassion and courtesy as payment for his next gig.

    3. Vanity thy name is Russell Brand.

    4. *checks to see if he still looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the gutter – yup – returns to forgetting this person exists*

  42. Obama promised to double US exports before he left. They are up only 40% to date. He needs the TPP to do it.

    I am actually pro US business – unlike most of you Peanuts who cheer for bad economic news because you hate Obama so much.

    Not much bad news to cheer about these days? Hilarious.

    Well, you can always keep misinterpreting the LFP rate!

    1. I think Xeones missed this one so….

      BBBUUUUUUUTTTTTTTPPPLLLUUUUGGGGGG

    2. BUUUUUUUUUUUUTTPPLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGG

    3. Obama promised to double US exports before he left.

      I didn’t think president’s were in the export business, but then again a state worshiping cretin once said “You didn’t build that!”

      I am actually pro US business –

      Cronyism, yes. We know.

      1. Presidents are in the export business when it comes to writing trade agreements (among other things).

        1. Presidents are in the export business when it comes to writing trade agreements

          Why do I need a trade agreement to sell a pencil to a guy in China? Oh right, because the state puts up artificial barriers to commerce to begin with.

          This is like saying an arsonist is a great fire fighter because he didn’t burn down that house on the corner.

          1. An arsonist is a great fire fighter because he knows where to go to fight the fire.

      2. Our major exports are arms, food and jobs. I don’t think he can increase the export of food given the circumstances.

  43. Good morning, folks. So I need to rant a little bit. I’d like to find the Dickless Wonder who told my condo complex’s HOA administrator that I have been using a sprinkler to water my new sod in my postage stamp of a backyard. Apparently, that is against the bylaws of the HOA, which I did not realize because I chose not to read the fine print. So that’s my fault. But I have the sprinkler on a timer that only runs for 10 minutes at a time every 4 hours, and it’s been in the low 80s and sunny here, so my sod needs the water. That being said, fuck that person who complained because now my sod is going to turn from the lush, deep green it is now into a brown thatch of wasted money. Also, fuck HOA’s right in their ass. And nosy neighbors, too.

    1. Do the bylaws *specifically* forbid putting rubber snakes in snitches’ mailboxes?

      1. Nope. And that’s a good idea. Because seriously, fuck that person in their ass. I’ll donate $10 to their goddamn water bill if they wanna be such fuckheads about it. It’s not a big deal at all.

        1. What about “hand watering”? Here in OKC we have been rationing water for a couple of years. You are only supposed to water with sprinklers every other day. You can water by hand as much as you like, however.

    2. Yeah, tell your HOA to sod off.

    3. I agree, Fuck HOAs, but that’s why I choose to avoid living in a neighborhood that has.one.

    4. rain barrel. problem solved. you’re welcome.

    5. What’s the penalty? Read the bylaws and the grievance process. For all you know, you can drag it out until your sod sets.

      Also, the best way to find out is to ask around. Your neighbors will turn on each other pretty quickly. When we got caught with a bunch of chickens in our back yard, we asked and found out who it was that ratted us out. We proceeded to make their life a living hell and also went the extra distance of filing grievances abut the sidewalks not being ADA-compliant, the curbs not being painted in accordance with the bylaws and the head of the HOA violating the vehicle parking policy. We reached an agreement that they would leave us alone until we moved out two months later and the whole thing went away.

      1. We proceeded to make their life a living hell and also went the extra distance of filing grievances abut the sidewalks not being ADA-compliant, the curbs not being painted in accordance with the bylaws and the head of the HOA violating the vehicle parking policy.

        That’s really the way to take on busybodies–when they come after you for violating some chickenshit rule, find out who they are, note all the rules they’re breaking, and hammer them continuously with it until they plead for mercy. Communities are built on trust, and busybodies are the cancer that destroys it. So you have to use their own tactics against them and ramp up the abuse until they get the hint and agree to leave you alone.

    6. One – of many reasons – why I won’t live anywhere with a neighborhood association.

  44. Come on! No alt-text on THAT?

  45. And so the angsty, petulant outrage of the British left begins.

    “Laurie PennyVerified account
    ?@PennyRed
    I really don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, because countless people are going to suffer.”

    1. This pairs nicely with the recent distrust of democracy theme on the left in the USA.

      “Democracy sucks!!” – Weepy leftist

      1. In Wisconsin, democracy doesn’t suck, it *died.*

        1. “This is what democracy looks like!!111!!!”

          “Wait. Whut!!???”

        2. In Wisconsin, democracy doesn’t suck, it *died.*

          Democracy in Wisconsin died *three times* – first with the election of Walker, then with his recall win, then with his re-election.

          Democracy must be like a cat when it comes to the number of lives.

          1. Compared to Freddy Krueger, a cat is…uh…a pussy.

      2. My favorite part is ‘countless people.’ There are only 60 million people in the UK, which kind of puts an upper bound on the number of people who are ‘going to suffer,’ don’t you think?

        1. Moving this conversation forward to its inevitable conclusion:

          “Only 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust.”

          This is clearly a tragedy of Holocaust proportions, Irish.

          #Godwin

      3. This pairs nicely with the recent distrust of democracy theme on the left in the USA.

        “Democracy sucks!!” – Weepy leftist

        When has the left been distrustful of democracy? To them, voting is a most noble and courageous act from which all the goodness in the universe flows.

        And democracy does suck.

        1. When has the left been distrustful of democracy?

          Every single time that it does not advance their causes.

    2. More, more!

  46. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoMDMrxkx74

    Dry Hump Day. Reaction at the end is priceless.

    1. OMG

      That is precious.

      “Maybe we’ll have a dry hump day.” You first, sweetie.

      1. I think it’s time HR had a little talk with this woman about the sexual harassment policy.

  47. Spot the Not: Salon vs. Guns

    1. Gun nuts lose their damned minds: The common-sense gun safety bill that’s giving the NRA & GOP conniptions

    2. Trading my holster for a yoga mat: a gun lover discovers the power of peace

    3. A gun lover sees the evils of gun culture: White supremacists, Obama haters, and me

    4. “You’re a tyrant to the Constitution!” How gun nuts are threatening politicians

    5. Gun nuts’ insane new crusade: How they explain away fatal accidents with children

    6. Chris Hayes’ biggest win yet: Exposing hypocrisy and cowardice of NRA and gun lobby

    1. Annoyed, I am: why multi-part headlines involving a vague statement followed by a clarifying clause and separated by a colon are super-overused.

  48. not that anyone gives a shit, but after two weeks of misery I can finally hear again.

    Impacted wax + a sinus infection. Oh no it couldn’t be one thing, it had to be both.

    1. Glad to see you’re better. Ear infections suck.

    2. Congrats on the [inaudible] and be well!

    3. Initially read ‘Impacted wax + a sinus infection.’

      as ‘Impacted wax + anus infection.’

      That is not how you are supposed to use a candle.

  49. Spot the Not: Islamophobia quotes

    1. Pamela Geller is a notorious Islamophobe whose racist hate speech was extensively cited in the manifesto of the white supremacist Anders Breivik. She has funded an odious series of inflammatory ads on buses and trains in major cities.

    2. It has come as a shock to our community due to her extreme Islamophobic beliefs, that Ayaan Hirsi Ali would be receiving an Honorary Degree in Social Justice this year. The selection of Hirsi Ali to receive an honorary degree is a blatant and callous disregard by the administration of not only the Muslim students, but of any student who has experienced pure hate speech.

    3. The New Atheists became the new Islamophobes, their invectives against Muslims resembling the rowdy, uneducated ramblings of backwoods racists rather than appraisals based on intellect, rationality and reason.

    1. 4. Bill Maher attempted to cite an Egypt poll, saying it showed that 80-90% of people in the country approved of death as a punishment for leaving Islam. The actual number is 64%, which is still horrifyingly high, and I am alarmed by it. An Israeli or a Palestinian may also be alarmed by the poll that found the majority of Israelis favor discrimination against their non-Jewish neighbors.

      5. Dawkins specifically links to the “Islam-Watch” website, which is a viciously anti-Muslim site in the same vein as JihadWatch and Gates of Vienna (both of which were the most heavily cited sources in the terrorist Anders Breivik’s manifesto).

      6. We are writing in regards to the upcoming appearance of Jihad Watch’s Robert Spencer at the Northern California Catholic Family Home School Conference in Sacramento, California in July. Mr. Spencer is a key leader in the anti-Islam hate movement in the United States. Given the facts outlined below, we respectfully request that his invitation be rescinded.

      1. Number 3 was from a retarded Salon article that impugned the characters of Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris. I remember #4 from I believe a WaPo article on the subject…

        I’m guessing 2 because I don’t think even Brandeis would have an honorary degree in social justice.

        1. Nope. 1 is the Not. I really like the whataboutism of 4. “Hey look over there! Jews believe bad things too!”

          1. Nope. 1 is the Not. I really like the whataboutism of 4. “Hey look over there! Jews believe bad things too!”

            Yet I have my doubts that the discrimination Jews would tend to favor is as murderous as the type of discrimination the Jew’s neighbors would impose.

      2. 4. Bill Maher attempted to cite an Egypt poll, saying it showed that 80-90% of people in the country approved of death as a punishment for leaving Islam. The actual number is 64%, which is still horrifyingly high, and I am alarmed by it. An Israeli or a Palestinian may also be alarmed by the poll that found the majority of Israelis favor discrimination against their non-Jewish neighbors

        Is there some specific reason cited for the discrepancy in those numbers because a 2010 pew survey found this;

        When asked about the death penalty for those who leave the Muslim religion, at least three-quarters of Muslims in Jordan (86%), Egypt (84%) and Pakistan (76%) say they would favor making it the law; in Nigeria, 51% of Muslims favor and 46% oppose it. In contrast, Muslims in Lebanon, Turkey and Indonesia largely reject the notion that harsh punishments should be the law in their countries. About three-quarters of Turkish and Lebanese Muslims oppose the stoning of people who commit adultery (77% and 76%, respectively), as does a narrower majority (55%) of Muslims in Indonesia.
        http://www.pewglobal.org/2010/…..hezbollah/

        Even in Muslim countries where a majority of people reject that sort of draconian thought control, a huge proportion of the population still does support it.

  50. http://www.politico.eu/article…..s-lost-it/

    Your dumbest take on the British elections, courtesy of David Axelrod.

    “Tracked by Election Unspun, the coverage has been unremittingly hostile to Ed Miliband, the Labour challenger, with national newspapers backing the Conservative incumbent, David Cameron over Labour by a ratio of five to one.

    Veteran US campaign manager David Axelrod finds this politicization of the print media one of the most salient differences with the US. “I’ve worked in aggressive media environments before,” he told POLITICO, “but not this partisan.” Axelrod may have ax to grind as he advises the Labour Party, but even a conservative commentator and long-serving lieutenant of Rupert Murdoch has been shocked. “Tomorrow’s front pages show British press at partisan worst,” Andrew Neil, former editor of the Sunday Times rued. “All pretense of separation between news and opinion gone, even in ‘qualities.'””

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Yeah, okay David. There’s definitely no US political party that gains advantage through worshipful press coverage. Nope!

    1. Hilarious. “Wahhh! Why aren’t foreign media tricking me into believing they’re unbiased like in America?!”

  51. Didn’t Labour bring in a bunch of Obama-ites to help run their campaign?

  52. Hey, we are getting with it here in Sunny Minnesoda! Just like hip east coasters, we now have our own fake rape scandal brewing at the U of MN.

    Last week a freshman said she was accosted at knifepoint in her dorm and raped by two guys. The police issued a giant safety advisory.

    Yesterday, the news was that the police didn’t think it was a stranger rape.

    Today, police are saying that there wasn’t any rape at all.

    The best thing about it was that at least the gal never named anyone and no one was falsely locked up. The worse thing is this quote:

    Katie Eichele, director of the Aurora Center, said she can’t comment on this particular case, but cautioned against making quick judgments without all of the information.

    “The victim-survivor is the most important person in all of this, and supporting what it is they’re going through and what they may want in the process.”

    http://www.startribune.com/u-p…..303006671/

    Um, there was no victim-survivor. There was a fake story by a confused woman. It sounds like she may have mental issues and if so, I hope she gets help. But for fuck’s sake she isn’t a victim-survivor.

    1. I thought the term of art was “false accuser.”

      1. No, “activist raising awareness about the rape epidemic”

      2. You need to update your lexicon.

        1. I dunno, it’s still on the books as a crime, I believe. Maybe it’s like one of those old laws that isn’t enforced anymore, like three women or more living together constituting a brothel.

    2. Is Sabrina Rubin-Erdely going to include this story when she “re-reports” the UVA rape story?

    3. “Victim-survivor” isn’t going to become a thing, is it? It’s already enough of an eyesore that we use “survivor” to refer to anything traumatic but not manifestly life-threatening, whereas victim covers that territory already… am I just being a stick in the shit?

    4. #IbelieveHerNoMatterFuckingWhat

  53. How’s this for a libertarian outrage: a woman was mauled by a pitbull after animal control officers demanded that the dog be unchained.

    She’s in the hospital and lost a giant chunk of her leg (“like it had been through a spiral slicer”). Of course the bureaucrats involved had no comment.

    More details:
    http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news…..ack/nk4mq/

  54. From Popbitch’s entirely unscientific survey, here’s the top three names on the UK ballot papers.

    3. Dick Wraith
    Labour, Wombwell

    2. Mike Hunt
    UKIP, Braintree

    and the winner:

    1. Wayne Kerr
    UKIP, Wombwell

    1. “Wayne Kerr”

      of

      “Wombwell.”

      I don’t believe you.

      1. You will never doubt me again – scroll down to Statement of Persons Nominated – Wombwell

  55. So there was a freakout on my Derpbook feed last night about the Colorado Republicans removing $5 million from a budget item the Dems had set to fund an IUD provider. The program was cited as the main reason for teen pregnancies dropping by 40%.

    But here’s the interesting thing–this was entirely funded by a private donation to the state from an anonymous donor. It was a “government program” in the most superficial sense of the word because a private organization also acted as the distributor of the service. Why is no one looking into exactly why the state had to fund this program rather than continue to be funded by private donations? If it’s that successful, wouldn’t that success sell itself to potential donors?

    Nor is anyone looking into why the Susan Thompson Buffett Foundation won’t continue to fund this program for as long as there is money available, rather than the five-year time limit they set. If it was that successful, why wouldn’t the foundation continue to donate the money and write it off as a tax-deductible charitable expense? I find it interesting that people are chimping out about the state not picking up the slack rather than examine why a successful private program can’t continue to be successful if it’s funded and administered by private entities. Maybe that kind of intellectual thought process is too much to expect.

  56. Happy Michigan news: Prop 1, which would have been a sales tax increase to 7%, was defeated. Money would have gone toward our shitty roadz, along with some school and government funding. It went over like a lead balloon with 80% (!!) of voters saying Nay.

    1. The wife and I actually stayed in one of the developer’s other Hotels in Ohio. Fairly nice all in all. Each unit even had it’s own garage, I assume to help facilitate people who want to cheat on their spouse.

  57. Thanks to GearTech for posting that link to wsbtv… the quality of writing in the stories on that site is unfuckingbelievable.

    Teacher suspended after allegedly letting student touch her inappropriately

    According to a complaint, the coach allowed a female student to touch her chest on at least two occasions and let the student sleep on her on a bus trip from a game.

    “She was nervous about going on to a competition and was like, ‘Oh, good luck,’ and then just rubbed them for good luck,” the coach said in an audio recording from interviews the coach had with the district.

  58. The Buttplug must be off his meds today. He’s shitting all over the board.

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