Texas Shooters Named, Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina Announce Runs, Bill Clinton Defends Foundation: P.M. Links

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  • Says he's not a politician, a thing politicians always say.

    One of the two men who opened fire at the weekend Garland, Texas, contest to illustrate the Prophet Mohammed has been identified as Elton Simpson, and he apparently tweeted pro-ISIS comments just before the attack. The second has been identified as Nadir Soofi.

  • Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina have both formally, separately thrown their hats into the ring to run for president as Republicans.
  • Former President Bill Clinton says there's absolutely nothing "sinister" going on at the embattled Clinton Foundation, and if we can't trust him, then who can we trust?
  • An NYPD officer who was shot in the head over the weekend while he was sitting in an unmarked patrol car has died. The man allegedly responsible has been arrested.
  • The head of New York State's Senate, Dean Skelos (R-Long Island), has been arrested, along with his son, for extortion, fraud, and soliciting bribes.
  • Guy Benson, Townhall,com's political editor, Fox News contributor, radio host, and former regular on the gone-but-not-forgotten The Independents came out of the closet in a new book he's written with Mary Katherine Ham, End of Discussion: How the Left's Outrage Industry Shuts Down Debate, Manipulates Voters, and Makes America Less Free (and Fun). He made an appearance in ReasonTV's coverage of GOProud's Big Gay Party connected to the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2011. Watch below:

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  1. ne of the two men who opened fire at the weekend Garland, Texas, contest to illustrate the Prophet Mohammed has been identified as Elton Simpson…

    Simpsons did it.

    1. Tonio

      Looks like we’ve reached a Nadir.

      1. db

        We took the zenith route.

      2. Rich

        The kid never had a chance.

      3. With a name like “Nadir”, wouldn’t he be the worst?

        1. Almanian!

          Not while Nicole draws breath

          1. db

            She is the apex predator of worsts.

        2. Zeb

          Not necessarily. There is nothing wrong with being the point opposite the point directly overhead.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly

      Hello.

      Did anyone watch Jamie Fox sing the anthem at the fight?

      Was that epically bad or what?

      Boxing is run by insane people.

      1. Florida Man

        I was listening to the radio and Jamie Fox had a rap song. It was extremely “produced”. I haven’t heard anything that tweaked since Paris Hilton did an album.

        1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

          Eddie Murphy’s Party All The Time?

          Chopped Liver.

          1. Enough About Palin

            I prefer this Eddie Murphy tune:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P538K83iU

        2. PapayaSF

          I am OK with any amount of production if it comes out well. I like the lyrics, too.

      2. No. I didn’t watch the fight, and hate the idea of playing the national anthem before sporting events.

        1. Raven Nation

          And the terrorists win again.

          1. Winston

            More like the Nazis:

            In any case, the tradition of performing the national anthem before every baseball game began in World War II.[10]

        2. Winston

          hate the idea of playing the national anthem before sporting events.

          Interestingly playing the Star Spangled Banner at baseball games was probably one of the reasons it was made the National Anthem in the first place.

          1. Winston

            Fun Fact: The Terror of Sir John Franklin’s expedition was one of the bomb vessels that attacking Fort McHenry in 1814. The Erebus of that expedition was not the same as the Erebus that caused the “Rocket’s Red Glare” though

            1. Puddin' Stick

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysFKjWG_W54

      3. RBS

        I heard some people (the people I know who take personal offence to anything less than a perfect national anthem) say he was awful and at least one person I know thought he was great.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          That person who thought he was great. Do they happen to be deaf?

          We were six guys and my wife and all had the same ‘what. the. fuck?’ look.

          It was terrible.

      4. Dweebston

        The real fight was between Foxx and the anthem.

    3. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

      Sounds like ‘workplace violence’?

      1. Zeb

        Really? Which of the people involved worked there?

        Simply calling the Hassan thing “workplace violence” certainly doesn’t adequately describe what happened. But it was, in addition to whatever else it was, in fact workplace violence since he and the people who he killed did work at the place where it happened.

        1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

          Sorry, I left off the sarcasm tag.

          But I believe Hassan did not work at FT Hood, but was part of the party being mobilized through there. He worked at WRMC.

          1. Atlas Slugged

            Nope. He had been at Uniformed Services University in a Disaster Psychiatry fellowship. Despite warnings he was sent to Ft Hood and was stationed there

            1. Tejicano

              In the end were either of the following involved?

              “Disaster” – check

              “Psychiatry” – check

              Sounds like that fellowship was a resounding success.

  2. …and if we can’t trust him, then who can we trust?

    He feels your skepticism.

    1. DEG

      That’s not all he feels.

  3. Injun, as in from India

    Former President Bill Clinton says there’s absolutely nothing “sinister” going on at the embattled Clinton Foundation, and if we can’t trust him, then who can we trust?

    Depends on what the meaning of ‘sinister’ is!

    1. Rich

      Excellent.

    2. Are any of them left-handed?

      1. Injun, as in from India

        That is an adroit question.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly

        FYI: I’m left handed.

        Just saying.

        1. DEG

          So is Obama, and Jordan Carver.

          1. Zeb

            And a surprising number of other presidents.

            1. Rufus J. Firefly

              So. What are you guys saying?

              1. Gojira

                I am left-handed, also. That should make you feel worse.

              2. Zeb

                You are almost certain to be a murderous dictator at some point.

    3. Mad Scientist

      Of course nothing sinister is going on. People and companies are just giving money to Bill and Hillary in exchange for political favors. It’s a time honored tradition.

  4. rts

    Carrying a rifle is racist, and causes asphyxiation (Video)

    1. Everything they don’t understand or agree with is racist. If only they taught in schools how disarming blacks in the south was a top priority for actual racists after the Civil War.

      1. Episiarch

        Well, they are great at ruining/changing the meaning of words. At this point, “racist” to them just means “bad”. That’s it.

        1. The good news is in a couple decades it’ll be used as slang to describe something as a positive. “Dude, your shoes are sooo racist!”

          1. T

            Well, yes, but only against the Chinese.

            1. Crassic laces.

  5. The head of New York State’s Senate, Dean Skelos (R-Long Island), has been arrested, along with his son, for extortion, fraud, and soliciting bribes.

    They didn’t support the Iran deal.

    1. Tonio

      Weak, Fist. State senate, not US, so no FP responsibility.

  6. Injun, as in from India

    Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina have both formally, separately thrown their hats into the ring to run for president as Republicans.

    CORRECTION: They throw their top hats into the ring. They are running for the KKKapitalist GOP nomination, after all.

    1. I assume this means that the lady who’s voting with her vag will be voting for Fiorina? Or will she be portrayed by the left as not a real woman?

  7. Guy Benson, Townhall,com’s political editor, Fox News contributor, radio host, and former regular on the gone-but-not-forgotten The Independents came out of the closet…

    Prediction: Dreamcatchers

    1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

      came out of the closet…

      That Guy’s the last to know?

    2. GILMORE

      This is just proof that the whole, “Gay men have great fashion sense” is a myth. Guy was nothing if not exceptionally un-notable (*triple negative FTW!) during his Independents appearances

      if there was a special runner-up prize for the “non-indy, most winningest frequent-guest appearance” it was probably either Eli Lake or Julian “No Rules” Sanchez

      1. Dude, he was in the closet. Just watch his guest appearances now. And let’s not discount Moynihan. His wardrobe always complemented his pallor.

  8. Injun, as in from India

    When your country has a toilet paper shortage, what better solution than to get your people to eat less, and therefore, p00p less?

    Comrade Maduro is a genius! #DemocraticSocialism #BernieSanders2016 #NotAuthoritarianAtAll

    Venezuela to nationalize food distribution

    1. Tonio

      You know what other totalitarian leader wanted his subjects to eat less?

      1. Almanian!

        Biggie Smalls?

      2. Libertarian

        Michelle Obama?

        1. Certified Public Asskicker

          *Hangs head*

          1. You were only off by 6 seconds, unlike Almanian!’s 32 seconds.

        2. Tonio

          Definitely a contender.

        3. Zeb

          I’m not sure she counts as any kind of leader.

      3. Certified Public Asskicker

        Michelle Obama?

      4. Almanian!

        Michelle Obama?

        1. Libertarian

          Whew! That was close.

        2. Certified Public Asskicker

          I meant to type Richard Simmons.

          1. Rich

            Natural mistake based on her dancing.

      5. PBR Streetgang

        George Donner?

        1. Tonio

          Damn, you guys are good.

      6. BiMonSciFiCon

        Mugatu?

      7. Almanian!

        Michelle Obama? Has anyone mentioned her yet?

      8. Kim Jong Un?

        1. Tonio

          This is the actual correct answer, but like “Hitler” does not win. Also, Kim Jong Il would have worked.

      9. Brett L

        Wait, are we not allowed to use Joey Steel?

        1. Tonio

          You are, but I don’t know who that is so unlikely to win unless you can make a good case.

          1. Brett L

            Josef Stalin

      10. Cdr Lytton

        Governor Kodos?

      11. Tonio

        Well-played guys. Winner is Tundra with his Bloomberg answer. Honorable mentions to everyone who answered Michelle Obama (not an actual political leader). Extra special bonus prize to Cdr Lytton for Gov Kodos; would have won except for fictional.

    2. thom

      Hopefully this ends up being the final nail in the coffin. It sounds like right now in Venezuala, with enough patience you can prevent starvation. Once preventing starvation becomes impossible for enough people, heads will start rolling.

      1. I hope so too, but did that happen after the USSR or Chinese state-sponsored famines?

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Yes, heads certainly rolled after (and during) them. State lost patience with goddamn peasants, neither working nor eating, so took a straightforward approach.

          Remember, normal people aren’t allowed guns in Venezuela, and Maduro thugs are armed.

    3. Single-payer food for the win!

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

        There’s a five year plan for that?

        1. Raven Nation

          along with a new deal, wrapped in golden chains.

      2. Injun, as in from India

        If General Mills monopolizes the food supply, that would be evil. But there is something magical about government.

    4. Winston

      What will the Ron Paul Institute say?

      1. Injun, as in from India

        What will the Ron Paul Institute say?

        That you is a true genius and your anti-Ron Paul comments are worth their weight in Gold currency?

        1. Winston

          That you is a true genius
          Should be “you are a true genius”. 😉

          And I was referring to Daniel McAdams, the guy who runs the Ron Paul Institute who has been pro-Chavez and Maduro.

          1. PapayaSF

            Seriously? Bizarre.

            1. Winston

              https://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/viva-chavez/

              https://reason.com/blog/2013/04…..nt_3684740

              1. Winston

                And that’s not all:

                http://www.antiwar.com/orig/mcadams.php?articleid=876

                https://reason.com/blog/2014/03…..ty-preside

                Paul didn’t shoot back himself, but Daniel McAdams, executive director of the Ron Paul Institute, yesterday asserted that McCobin has “no evidence” that Russian military played a role in annexing the region, and that if Crimeans wanted to remain part of Ukraine, they could have just delegitimized the referendum by “stay[ing] home” and not voting at all.

                McAdams dropped some more bombs. He accused McCobin of being a “neocon warmonger,” suggested that his organization “is in bed” with the National Endowment for Democracy, and warned that SFL would experience an exodus of members for attacking Paul.

            2. Winston

              https://reason.com/blog/2015/01…..zmrah:r3D4
              On Twitter last night, RPI Executive Director Daniel McAdams went on a protracted rant against critics of the piece, writing “I should only run pieces that agree with the NYT and Hollande version of the event?,” telling Antiwar.com’s Justin Raimondo that he sounds “like a neocon,” stating (falsely) “Matt Welch whose only foreign policy statement ever on Fox has been to disagree with RP and non-intervention,” and then referencing my non-existent (to my knowledge!) “CIA buddies in Budapest,” where McAdams and I both once lived. It’s both a telling and deeply unflattering tic to defend publishing an implausibly conspiratorial rant by leveling ludicrous accusations against people who call attention to it.

          2. CatoTheElder

            From my reading, he’s not so much pro-Chavez as he is anti-interventionalist.

            The flaw of the Ron Paul/Lew Rockwell strain of libertarianism is that it is so suspicious of the interventionalist intentions of the US government that it comes off as downright anti-American, even seeming to side with its statist adversaries like Iran, Russia, Palestinian extremists, and Venezuela.

            It’s really just the whacked nonsense of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Steeped in the hatred of discretionary wars of intervention conducted both overtly and covertly by the US government, these guys start empathizing with the sentiments of its statist adversaries. Not content to say “a pox on both their houses”, which is really the proper response to any conflict between statists, these guys go on to sympathize with anti-American statists. It really is sad, and counterproductive for the libertarian movement.

          3. CatoTheElder

            From my reading, he’s not so much pro-Chavez as he is anti-interventionalist.

            The flaw of the Ron Paul/Lew Rockwell strain of libertarianism is that it is so suspicious of the interventionalist intentions of the US government that it comes off as downright anti-American, even seeming to side with its statist adversaries like Iran, Russia, Palestinian extremists, and Venezuela.

            It’s really just the whacked nonsense of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Steeped in the hatred of discretionary wars of intervention conducted both overtly and covertly by the US government, these guys start empathizing with the sentiments of its statist adversaries. Not content to say “a pox on both their houses”, which is really the proper response to any conflict between statists, these guys go on to sympathize with anti-American statists. It really is sad, and counterproductive for the libertarian movement.

            1. Winston

              Don’t forget the Sheldon Richman strain too. Calling the Vietnam War a “war of aggression against Indochina” by the USG is not the most accurate depiction of that war since the Khmer Rouge and Pathet Lao were the ones engaged in Regime Change and the North Vietnamese were the ones engaging in annexation.

    5. LynchPin1477

      That’s actually really sad. Venezuelans are likely to either start starving in large numbers or fighting a civil war. Either way, people are going to suffer. I hope they stop it before it gets that far or at least get out before it gets really bad.

      1. Injun, as in from India

        In India, people starved in large numbers hanging on in quiet desperation. It is a democracy, but most parties basically had socialist groupthink ingrained into them. I don’t know about Venezuela. I hope they correct their ways quickly.

      2. rts

        Hey man, it’s all good, they are 30% richer now!.

        President Nicolas Maduro raised Venezuela’s minimum wage Friday for the second time this year to help workers being battered by the world’s highest inflation.

        Speaking at a May Day rally, the socialist leader said he is boosting the minimum wage and pensions for retirees by 30 percent, with two-thirds of the increase coming this month and the rest on July 1. He also said he would raise salaries for government employees and military personnel.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Look, even Venezuela can afford to raise minimum wage! US can certainly afford $15 an hour!

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            First step, destroy the currency

    6. Injun, as in from India

      Pol Pot?

    7. Juice

      So basically an Ayn Rand novel.

  9. rts

    Canadian Finance Minister says something half-way intelligent

    “Some people say by 2080 a lot of money will be lost to the government because of TFSAs [Tax Free Savings Account], as if that is a bad thing,” Oliver said in his speech

    “Money government fails to wrestle from taxpayers is not bad for the economy,” he continued, adding that most of the money will be reinvested in the economy as consumer spending.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Holy shit, if he gets shot for this, no court here will convict the killers.

      It’s worse than saying “Well, you know, Ariel Sharon is quite a good guy” in the middle of Hamas meeting.

    2. Injun, as in from India

      Can we trade the Canadian FM for some of our elected representatives?

    3. Warty

      Canada is looking like an increasingly attractive escape country. And it’s not like its healthcare is even any worse than ours now.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Eh, it’s not like thousands of Americans cross into Canada every year for healthcare.

        Otherwise, yes, if you’re not committed libertarian, Canada is cool. If you are, lack of any 1st and 2nd Amendment protection equivalents should put us right out.

      2. Cytotoxic

        Our asshole neocon PM Harper is doing his best to ruin it. C-51 is like our version of the Patriot Act. Preventive arrest and all that. Trudeau, being worthless, has said it’s okay.

        Oliver would make a better PM. He’s certainly an improvement over Failherty in his position as FM.

        1. Gene

          If they could only ditch the so-con bullshit we’d have something here, it’s too bad he had to double down on the drug war.

          1. Cytotoxic

            And the War on Prostitutes. Weird thing is that he did clamp down on the SoCons-except for Peter McKay, who I am pretty sure was thawed out from permafrost before hitting the Canadian political scene. He is a few IQ points short of Homo sapien.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly

          WHY DO YOU HATE CANADA?

          And will Canada allow Warty in?

          1. Cytotoxic

            Seriously? Like it would matter. When has a lack of consent ever stopped Warty?

  10. Injun, as in from India

    Welcome to Britainistan, part of Eurabia!

    Senior Labour politicians Liam Byrne and Tom Watson ‘attend segregated Muslim rally’

    1. Tonio

      Wow, just wow. In England. In 2015. I realize I shouldn’t be surprised, but I still am.

    2. Winston

      So when will Labour turn out against female suffrage? Its been 100 years…

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Hey, principles are principles, but postal votes by the bushel load get asses into seats.

    4. PapayaSF

      That can’t be correct. Just the other day Cytotoxic told us that immigration is “never, ever bad.”

      1. Cytotoxic

        And it isn’t. Nothing in this story indicates otherwise.

        1. PapayaSF

          So, you’re cool with gender segregation? Or do you think it has nothing to do with people who believe in gender segregation immigrating to England?

          1. U+1F4A9

            Well, one could argue that the people practicing gender segregation in England would, if they were not living in England, be practicing gender segregation in their original countries of origin, and that therefore these is no nett loss of utility here.

            Now, there are some reasonable responses to that, which would attempt to show that it’s somewhat worse that their practicing gender segregation in England, but FWIW, they don’t seem like especially libertarian arguments.

            1. U+1F4A9

              “they’re”, dammit.

            2. PapayaSF

              So, if ISIS sent some people from Syria to the US and started beheading people here, that would not be a net loss, because if they hadn’t come here, they’d have been beheading people in their country of origin?

              1. Cytotoxic

                Beheading is a violation of rights. Voluntary gender segregation isn’t. I am tired of spoon feeding this to you.

              2. U+1F4A9

                Well that’s not the same at all, is it: in one case you have people practicing segregation among themselves, and in the second case you have people violently attacking others. It’s clear that English citizens have a strong motivation to want to restrict the entry of people who might violently behead them. It’s not anywhere near as clear that they have a good motivation to restrict the entry of people who might continue to live the way they currently live, while having no particular impact upon other people who’re already there. Now, I can definitely see some arguments that if there are enough of these people, then their beliefs could start to impact the majority culture in undesirable ways, but it’s more likely, in most cases, that the majority lifestyle would impact more profoundly upon the immigrants.

                1. PapayaSF

                  Muslim beliefs do impact the majority culture. Just ask Charlie Hebdo, a French owner of a burned car, a young Rotherham girl, a raped Swedish woman, etc.

  11. rts

    The Mohammed Cartoon winner

    1. Bam!

      That’s not Mohammed, that’s a werewolf.

    2. A sword? Why doesn’t he just use his Adamantium claws?

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)

        He’s got the right hat on.

    3. Tonio

      Nice. And funny. Sure that’s caused a lot of butt-hurt, except that Islamic news organizations won’t show the picture in muslim-majority countries.

    4. Zeb

      That’s pretty good.

  12. …and he apparently tweeted pro-ISIS comments just before the attack.

    What Would Mohammed Tweet?

  13. Spot the Not: Zell Miller

    1. I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel.

    2. My mouth ain’t no prayer book.

    3. I’m southern born, and southern bred, and when I die, I’ll be southern dead.

    4. There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust their future and that man’s name

    is George Bush.

    5. I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for

    freedom over tyranny.

    6. Robert E Lee was a gentleman without equal.

    1. Ima say 3. Sounds like a song lyric.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.

        It’s a version of “Hark the Sound of Tarheel Voices”

    2. db

      3

    3. Zeb

      I’m pretty sure I remember #1. Didn’t he say that to Chris Mathews or someone like that at a Republican convention?

      1. Yes.

    4. 3 is a legit quote. 6 is the Not.

      Zell Miller vs. Chris Mathews & his clapping seals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkRyYfricQM

  14. Injun, as in from India

    Yawn. Greenies! This is getting to be so repetitive! Entertain us with something else!

    Earth Hour spokesmodel Tom Brady flies private jet to Kentucky Derby and Mayweather fight

    1. Tonio

      Never gets old. And they never realize why this is a big, big deal to their critics.

  15. Spot the Not: Jim Webb

    1. I say bomb the hell out of them. If there’s collateral damage, so be it. They certainly

    found our civilians to be expendable.

    2. If a minister can lead the Senate in prayer every day… what is so wrong with

    beginning every day of school with an ecumenical prayer?

    3. I can visualize a woman president. If I were British, I would have supported Margaret

    Thatcher. But no benefit to anyone can come from women serving in combat.

    4. I cannot conjure up an ounce of respect for Bill Clinton when it comes to the military.

    Every time I see him salute a Marine, it infuriates me.

    5. Ronald Reagan came in – he was a leader. Some of my Democratic friends don’t like it

    when I say that.

    6. I’m a Democrat, and I have strong reasons for being a Democrat.

  16. Spot the Not: Jim Webb

    1. I say bomb the hell out of them. If there’s collateral damage, so be it. They certainly

    found our civilians to be expendable.

    2. If a minister can lead the Senate in prayer every day… what is so wrong with

    beginning every day of school with an ecumenical prayer?

    3. I can visualize a woman president. If I were British, I would have supported Margaret

    Thatcher. But no benefit to anyone can come from women serving in combat.

    4. I cannot conjure up an ounce of respect for Bill Clinton when it comes to the military.

    Every time I see him salute a Marine, it infuriates me.

    5. Ronald Reagan came in – he was a leader. Some of my Democratic friends don’t like it

    when I say that.

    6. I’m a Democrat, and I have strong reasons for being a Democrat.

  17. Rich

    Winner of the drawing competition

    1. Rich

      The *real* winner; not rts’s werewolf.

      1. rts

        He’s the hairy handed gent who ran amuck in Jeddah,
        Lately he’s been overheard in Riyadh
        Better stay away from him
        He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim
        I’d like to meet his tailor
        Ahhooooo
        Werewolves of Mecca

        1. Raven Nation

          +1 excitable boy

          1. Rufus J. Firefly

            +1 he raped her and killed her and dug up her bones.

  18. Libertarian

    One of the two men who opened fire at the weekend Garland, Texas, contest to illustrate the Prophet Mohammed has been identified as Elton Simpson,

    Simpson, eh?

  19. Spot the Not: Howard Dean

    1. I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for.

    2. I’m a Metrosexual.

    3. This is a struggle of good and evil. And we’re the good.

    4. I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup

    trucks.

    5. Libertarianism is the velvet glove over the iron fist of racism

    6. I’ve waffled before. I’ll waffle again.

    1. Almanian!

      five

    2. Florida Man

      5

    3. Winston

      5. Thom Hartmann said it.

      I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup

      trucks.

      hate the Republicans and everything they stand for.

      6 is so true.

      1. Winston gets the prize for recognizing the Hartmann quote:

        “The reason they’re doing it is they’re trying to prevent young people from signing up so that Obamacare will fail. And in the process of preventing those young people from signing up, they are causing people to die. These people are stone-cold killers. ? Dick Armey, the Koch brothers, the funders of this campaign to kill Obamacare are stone-cold killers.”

        -Thom Hartmann, real man of genius

  20. Episiarch

    The head of New York State’s Senate, Dean Skelos (R-Long Island), has been arrested, along with his son, for extortion, fraud, and soliciting bribes.

    A lot of people don’t, I think, realize how endemically corrupt the New York State government is because NYC is so much more high-profile. But man, it is bad. Some of their shenanigans were also exposed during the Spitzer scandal, like how he was having Joseph Bruno (then the head of the Senate or the House or whatever) watched by the state police and shit.

    1. Not that Bruno was particularly clean, although the “honest services” charges were bullshit.

      Not holding my breath for Cuomo or the CSEA/AFSCME/PEF heads to be charged, of course.

    2. Batgirl Esq.

      “Three men in a room”

      Two down, one to go.

  21. Winston

    Guy Benson, Townhall,com’s political editor, Fox News contributor, radio host, and former regular on the gone-but-not-forgotten The Independents came out of the closet…

    Who?

  22. Former President Bill Clinton says there’s absolutely nothing “sinister” going on at the embattled Clinton Foundation, and if we can’t trust him, then who can we trust?

    That’s what I tell inquirers about the odor permeating from my shed. Works for me.

  23. Injun, as in from India

    Yeah right, Mr. Buffett. The solution is to confiscate every last bit of your property at the point of a government agent’s M-16 and redistribute it.

    Buffett Says Minimum Wage Increase Isn’t Answer to Income Gulf

  24. Rich

    PHOTO: School serves burned burritos covered with melted plastic for ‘healthy’ lunch

    “we are doing training to make sure that it doesn’t happen again,” Barbour County Schools Superintendent Joe Super tells WDTV.

    “Once again, remember — Do NOT serve melted plastic to the students.”

    1. Sorry, but I’m not eating anything that comes with a label that says “Feed me.”

      No, YOU feed ME, not the other way around.

      1. Rich

        “The burrito that eats like a meal.”

      2. Cytotoxic

        “Kill Feed me”

    2. Libertarian

      Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
      Benjamin: Yes, sir.
      Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
      Benjamin: Yes, I am.
      Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
      Benjamin: Exactly how do you mean?

  25. Agile Cyborg Facts: the crowd favorites

    Crop circles are actually caused by Agile Cyborg’s attempts to mow his lawn.

    Agile Cyborg once met Cheech & Chong- they immediately became DEA agents.

    The entire works of James Joyce are based on watching Agile Cyborg compete in a spelling bee.

    Never make a voodoo doll of Agile Cyborg. It will come to life and raid your liquor cabinet.

    Agile Cyborg once visited the Astral Plane. He was upgraded to first class and got a tour of the cockpit.

    Agile Cyborg went for a swim in the Bermuda Triangle. It vanished without a trace.

    In other news, I am 40 pounds lighter than I was in January. A few days ago, I ran a mile in 8 minutes- my best time ever. Yesterday, I walked 14 miles and ran 7. Looks I’m moving the needle on this fitness thing.

    1. Tonio

      Damn, Derpy, that’s impressive. You go, dude!

    2. Great results, Derp. Really, really impressive.

      Props on the Agile Cyborg facts, also.

    3. Almanian!

      Excellent, and also congrats on your fitness achievements!

    4. BiMonSciFiCon

      Congrats man. What are you doing (other than lots of running and walking, if anything)?

      1. I go to an Army PT group once a week.

        1. Oooh… I could swear at you like a Drill SGT if you need!

          1. I’m pretty sure I will get them to yell themselves hoarse. With a little luck, I may even get one of them to have an aneurysm or a nervous breakdown. Every boss I’ve ever had got angry at me within a week of meeting me. Insufficient subservience, I suppose. Little do they know that as a derpetologist, I thrive on stupidity.

            When they tell me to say my social security number during the gas drill, I think I’ll sing the Oscar Mayer wiener song instead.

            I’m looking forward to being treated with sincere disdain than the phoney politeness I’ve gotten from all my other employers.

        2. Tejicano

          I just did an (official) Army PFT a couple weeks ago with my new reserve unit. Did pretty good.

    5. Rich

      You are an inspiration *and* an exhalation!

    6. DEG

      Congratulations!

    7. LynchPin1477

      Hmmm, needs more shroom-induced poetry on the orgasm.

    8. Catatafish

      My name’s Derpy and I shame Catatafish for his treadmill allergy.

      Seriously though, that is awesome news!

      1. Brett L

        Go outside. You’re in Houston. You get a free sauna with your exercise now that the rains are ending.

        1. Catatafish

          I don’t know if my ankles can handle the “sidewalks” in Greenway/Kirby. Every 100 yards there’s a prime opportunity for a compound fracture, courtesy of oak roots or Houston Public Works.

          I really just need to get off my ass and go to Memorial Park.

          1. Unreconstructed

            The sidewalks are as bad as the streets? I didn’t think it was possible!

  26. DEG

    America’s most charming cities.

    Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Cleveland are on the list, among other head-scratchers.

    1. DEG

      Beauty, of course, being in the eye of the beholder, but I just don’t understand some of the entries in that list.

    2. Episiarch

      That’s a weird list. Some make sense (I like Providence a lot myself, for instance), but others like, as you say, Balmer, Philly, and the Mistake by the Lake seem…odd.

      1. DEG

        Providence is a pretty cool town. I briefly considered moving there while working at a place that let me work from home all them time, but then I realized if I needed to switch jobs that my hypothetical new employer might not be as nice about letting me work from home. I’d also have to pay higher taxes. So I stayed put in New Hampshire.

        1. Episiarch

          I used to live 50-60 minutes from Providence and would go there with some frequency (plus a cousin of mine had a house there too and we’d go grill there after a day at Misquamicut), and it’s pretty nice. Very quiet. But then so is Portland, ME.

    3. These are the same people, I bet, who think that Havana being opened up to US investment will ruin its quaint charm.

      Poverty porn fetishists, in other words.

    4. Warty

      Cleveland and Pittsburgh have their charms. I’ve never been to Baltimore, but I imagine it does too. It’s just that the charms are…how should I put this…you have to look for them.

      1. Episiarch

        With Balmer, you’re going to be looking for a long time.

        Any place is going to have something/some parts with some charm. It’s almost inevitable. I don’t know if that means anything, though.

        1. Warty

          These rankings are fundamentally stupid. Of course a city has nice places and cool people. Only the shittiest dumps are completely worthless.

          1. Los Doyers

            Can I interest you in a certain….desert wasteland…

            1. Warty

              FUCK SPACEX AND FUCK LA

              1. Los Doyers

                Don’t be rude. SpaceX is in Hawthorne.

      2. DEG

        I know Pittsburgh has gotten better than it used to be. I even considered moving back to PA to for a job in Pittsburgh. While Pittsburgh is better than it used to be, I still can’t see how it made the list.

        Baltimore’s Inner Harbor has some good things, but otherwise, it’s a blight and I wouldn’t have put it on the list.

        1. Warty

          Pittsburgh has accidentally gotten itself a little bit of a tech industry because of CMU and Pitt. I’ll be moving there for a new job soon, actually. But I’m not going to be living in the city, because fuck that dump.

          1. One thing I like about Pittsburgh is that you can be really close to the city without being in the city. A lot of cities you have to be 1-2 hours away before you really feel like you’re in the suburbs.

            1. Warty

              Yeah, that’s a nice part. My parents live in the fucking sticks and they’re not even an hour from downtown.

            2. Episiarch

              Seattle’s the opposite. Some (many) within-the-city-limits neighborhoods feel like less than suburbs. It’s also a city where you can drive on a highway right through its center (route 99/Aurora) and see shit that looks like it should be in the sticks, like broken down shacks and shit. And before the South Lake Union building explosion of the last few years, it was a downtown-adjacent neighborhood that was basically a ghost town all the time.

              1. Warty

                One big thing that’s weird to me about all the cities out west is that middle-class white families live within the city limits. That’s unheard of in most places east of the Mississippi.

                1. Episiarch

                  Well, admittedly the city limits are pretty huge too, at least with Seattle, but I think that’s much more common out west in general because there’s more room.

                  I mean, Northgate is still within Seattle city limits (quite easily, too). And Rainier Beach. At this point the north and south bounds of the city are almost concurrent with Lake Washington’s north and south tips. That’s big.

                2. Puddin' Stick

                  One big thing that’s weird to me about all the cities out west is that middle-class white families live within the city limits. That’s unheard of in most places east of the Mississippi.

                  A lot of those cities were sundown cities. Much of LA was as was the state of Oregon.

          2. DEG

            Pittsburgh has accidentally gotten itself a little bit of a tech industry because of CMU and Pitt.

            The company I interviewed with was there because of CMU.

            1. Warty

              As robotics becomes bigger, we’ll see it grow a lot, I think. CMU and the Robotics Institute spawn a decent number of startups. I’ve been pondering buying some crackhouses near there to flip in a few years, actually.

              1. DEG

                It was Google I interviewed with. I didn’t realize robotics was growing in Pittsburgh, but it makes sense.

                Good luck if you take the flipping crackhouses route. A former college roommate of mine lives in Philly and had a crackhouse two houses down from him. The copper thieves hit it at some point, and for some bizarre reason decided to turn the water back on after ripping out the pipes. The houses are row houses where he is, he told me it was quite a mess.

                1. Warty

                  That’s why I’m in the pondering stage. Over near Google is in full-fledged gentrification mode, though.

    5. Tonio

      Derp Warning: Info hidden in slide show.

    6. They’re just randomly naming cities.

      1. Juice

        Right. I mean Houston? Charming?

    7. grrizzly

      It’s just a list of large US cities without Miami, LA, and Dallas. Also, the most charming city is Savanna, but it didn’t make the list. Probably too small.

      1. grrizzly

        Savannah

      2. Brett L

        I mean, I could understand if you said Ft. Worth, but Dallas?

        1. grrizzly

          I didn’t comment on whether Dallas, Miami, and LA are charming or not. They are just large cities not on the list.

          Now, thinking about it, I cannot recall anything particularly charming about Dallas, more than the 20 cities on the list. But if I were a hack ordered to include Dallas on a list like this, I’d have come up with something.

          1. Overt

            I visited Dallas for work a couple months back and had one of the best times I’ve ever had on a work trip. Of course, this was mainly outlying areas like Richardson, but I really enjoyed the vibe.

            Lockhart Smokehouse made one of the best giant dinosaur beef ribs I have ever had, better than 90% of the BBQ I’ve had regardless of the meat.

            Plus a lot of young urban restaurants with good food and enjoyment.

      3. Rhywun

        Or Phoenix or Las Vegas or San Jose… there a lot of large American cities that lack charm.

        1. Los Doyers

          What you got against Vegas, brah? You must be fun at parties.

          1. GILMORE

            Vegas does kind of suck ass.

            Its great for a 2-day hotel-bouncing binge where you stay drunk for 48hours and vacillate between poolside and cigar-smoking on the roof and unlimited mimosa & crab-leg buffets and craps tables….

            …but aside from that, its a dead, boring town full of a combination of low-lifes and depressingly normal old-people, all desperate for a brief moment to feel like they’re somewhere special, rather than just a particularly gaudy and over-dressed Mall.

            I once asked a cab driver in vegas to take me somewhere ‘normal’, where there were no mexicans dressed up like cowboys or drunk old people on slot machines… just “a regular bar”, hopefully with a pool table. He said, “trust me, you’re better off just leaving town”.

            1. db

              You have to drive an hour west, to Goodsprings, for that.

            2. Los Doyers

              Yup. That’s Vegas for you. I drove there for my 21st and have been exactly twice since then. Each time I’m more and more down with the idea of sitting drunk as shit at the pool all day.

        2. grrizzly

          I guess the AA hubs are the first to come to my mind.

    8. LynchPin1477

      I have a lot of family from the Pittsburgh area and the city itself has some really nice areas, good bars and restaurants, and a nice setting with the rivers.

      That which surrounds Pittsburgh just depresses me. Seeing the houses my grand parents grew up is just really sad/infuriating.

      Also, I have a lot of family from Pittsburgh, so fuck Baltimore and Cleveland. They’re shit holes.

      1. Everyone still thinks of Pittsburgh as the horrible rustbelt town from the 70s, even though it’s an impression 20 years out of date that has nothing to do with the city as it is now.

        They’ve really done a good job rebuilding most of the city, and I frankly enjoy being there a lot more than Philadelphia, which is a hole.

      2. Warty

        Some parts of Pittsburgh proper are OK. Most of it is still a disgusting hole, and almost all of its inner-ring suburbs are godawful.

        1. Warty

          And all of the former milltowns along the rivers. You couldn’t pay me enough to live in Clairton or Aliquippa.

          1. LynchPin1477

            My family is in the Mon Valley. It’s awful.

          2. db

            Beaver has cleaned up nicely. As for the other river towns, most of them are pretty beat.

  27. A thought that occurred to me while watching CNN coverage of the shooting: why do anchors and print media tend to call him the Prophet Muhammad? I don’t think they use the title Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ or the Prophet Joseph Smith when discussing other religions. From a style perspective is it objectively descriptive to call him a prophet?

    1. Episiarch

      Because newspeople are fucking idiots?

      1. Almanian!

        ^^this is the correct answer

        1. Rich

          Exactly. They probably couldn’t name *one* thing he prophesied.

    2. Bam!

      They don’t want us to confuse him with Muhammad Ali. Obviously.

      1. PapayaSF

        Or the hundreds of millions of other people with that name around today.

      2. Tejicano

        Close – they do it to avoid confusing themselves. If they don’t use that title in 10 or 20 seconds they would be tempted to interject some random Cassius Clay reference.

    3. Tonio

      Good question. Would be interesting to see what CNN’s stylebook, and those of other major news organizations say. Best comparison would be biblical prophets Abraham and Moses, and how those organizations refer to them.

      IIRC Christ is a title, not a name.

      1. Almanian!

        Well, the minor prophet Joel says…..

        /remember the EF Hutton ads?

      2. Yes, Christ is a title that means ‘savior’. So it’s really Christ Jesus or Jesus the Christ.

        In any case, I’m willing to agitate for Mormons receiving equal reverence and respect for their Prophet Joseph Smith, the All-American Prophet!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHExlzqWVyM

        1. Puddin' Stick

          Psst, “Christ” actually means “anointed”.

    4. paranoid android

      We should just consider ourselves lucky they don’t feel obliged to follow with a PBUH on the off-chance there’s someone, somewhere, that would be somehow offended if they didn’t.

      1. Rich

        You must admit, however, the pronunciations of “(PBUH)” would be amusing offensive.

    5. Pan Zagloba

      Technically, they’d consider it similar to using the formulation Jesus Christ (i.e. Joshua the Saviour) rather than just Jesus, as it clears up who you mean.

      Really, they do it to show how fucking enlightened, tolerant and non-racist they are and not like common scum AT ALL. So, signaling.

      In recent times, of course, one thing this signals is “Don’t behead me, bro!”

    6. iCarl

      Heh, I was having the same discussion last night.

      What’s even crazier is often they don’t start out with “the Prophet Muhammed” and drop down to “Muhammed” later in the piece; they start with “the Prophet Muhammed” and drop down to “the Prophet”.

      So what I would like to see (for the reaction) is “the Messiah Jesus of Nazareth” and “the Messiah”.

    7. LynchPin1477

      It’s no different than referring to the Dali Lama as His Holiness. They do it with the Pope sometimes, too.

    8. Brett L

      To differentiate him from the Prophet Elijah Mohammed?

    9. Zeb

      I expect that there is some element of wanting to seem respectful of Islam. Do they also say “Jesus Christ” when referring to that other religion guy? If so, I’d say they are being consistent. I’m not bothered by it as long as they don’t add “PBUH”. There are a lot of Mohammeds in the world. Might as well be specific. I really don’t see the problem. News people talk about the Pope or Dalai Lama as if they are something other than just some dudes with weird jobs too.

      I suppose you might see it differently if you think that prophets are a real thing. But as I see it they are all madmen or charlatans, so there is nothing positive about referring to him that way. It’s simply descriptive. He was a prophet. Prophets are the lunatics who start religions.

    10. Raven Nation

      Safety first?

    11. F. Stupidity, Jr.

      It could be because there are a fuck-ton of people named Mohammed.

      1. lap83

        There are also lots of people named Jesus…

        1. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.

          I call him Dr. J.

        2. Tejicano

          “Jesus loves me” has a different meaning if you’re doing time in a Mexican prison.

    12. lap83

      My guess is they started calling him that when Obama did. Either because they want to be cool like him, or they’re hoping to deflect some of the focus off him so people don’t call him a Muslim.

      1. Zeb

        Is it really even a new thing? I honestly don’t know, but it seems like it just might be common usage. Like people calling the pope “Pope” even if they don’t believe in popes.

  28. Scalia wants those damn kids off his lawn:

    Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia believes society is eroding because women use the ‘F-word’ and thinks Facebook is ‘strange’

    1. Injun, as in from India

      I look forward to progressives beating the drum about this for a week on my “strange” Derpbook feed.

      1. I’m increasingly convinced there needs to be some maximum age after the news is not allowed to interview you, because everyone seems to have this “crazy old guy” switch that flips on one day and they start ranting about stupid stuff. There’s a number of people who I formerly respected that have ruined my opinion of them via this effect.

        1. BiMonSciFiCon

          You’re not thinking of a certain OBGYN, are you?

          1. I was thinking of a bunch of people, but he’s certainly one of them.

        2. Tonio

          Or, better yet, what about an easier way to get embarrasing geezers out of positions of power after a certain age?

          1. Tonio

            “embarrassing,” and yet again embarrassing.

    2. PM

      Did you happen to notice the date on that one, goober? I’m pretty sure you posted here it two years ago when it was originally published too.

      1. I did not. It came up on another blog I read and I did not notice the date.

      2. Mike M.

        Lefties constantly recycle these old e-mails amongst themselves over and over again.

        1. Yes, and conservatives never send recycled e-mails around.

          1. Mike M.

            Why don’t you go ahead and tell us what other blog it is you read that this came up on?

            1. http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/

    3. Rich

      Among his more fascinating comments are: a law using flogging as a criminal punishment would be constitutional, that there is a reasonable legal basis for some discrimination against women

      but not with regard to flogging.

    4. Facebook is strange.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Where else can you look at bathing suit photos of friends, former friends, people you work with and people you are related to?

        1. T

          I just check my survelliance camera feeds.

    5. Zeb

      Well, Facebook is strange. And I want those damn kids off my lawn.

      I do support free use, by all genders, of the “fuck” word, though.

      1. Warty

        But not when they over-emphasize the f-sound. And people who say “fucking” are worse than Episiarch. It’s fucking “fuckin'”, you fucking fuck.

        1. F. Stupidity, Jr.

          Nah, there are specific uses for each.

          “That guy’s a fuckin’ idiot.”

          “YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!”

          The full “ing” is necessary sometimes.

        2. U+1F4A9

          This depends on accent. In an american accent “fuckin'” can sound charming. In an australian accent it sounds horrid and the full “ng” sound is necessary.

  29. Winston

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f00IkrWvur4

    Interesting line at 4:49 about how the Empire is “nationalizing commerce”.

    1. Almanian!

      You know who else nationalized commerce…

      1. Tonio

        FDR?

      2. PM

        SCOTUS?

      3. Beautiful Bean Footage

        Emperor Palpatine?

  30. Almanian!

    Michelle Obama?

    Anyone? Bueller?

  31. Salon knows who the real villains of the Garland, Texas shooting are: Conservatives on twitter.

    According to Salon, I’m supposed to find these tweets heinous. A grand total of one of them could possibly be read in a bad way, but then you’ve got things like this:

    “In America freedom of speech trumps religious sensitivities. end of story. #GarlandShooting”

    My God! That’s so…heinous. By which I mean it’s a sentiment Salon would be vigorously applauding if it were about Christians instead of Muslims.

    1. Winston

      Glenn Greenwald approves.

      1. Libertymike

        Winston, re Greenwald:

        In America, freedom from the NSA trumps national security sensitivities.

    2. Despite everything I know about them I’m still amazed at how these people are convinced that Christians in Texas would react violently if there was an event dedicated to blaspheming Jesus. Uh no, there wouldn’t be. Are they genuinely that out of touch when it comes to understanding their opponents or are they just being dishonest?

      1. Episiarch

        No, they just want it to be true so badly that they make up scenarios where it is.

        Remember, these are the people who fall for “grab its leg!” They want to be fooled, because all they care about is confirming their biases. The truth is an annoyance that they hate.

    3. Catatafish

      “Police officers returned fire and killed the two men, with only one of the officers sustaining an injury.”

      Not the use of the word “only.” You can almost smell Salon’s disappointment.

      1. They have another article where they are angry Pamela Geller is defending her ‘fatal decision.’

        Note: The only people to die were Jihadists. So far as I’m concerned, Pamela Geller did the world a service by drawing Jihadist scum to an event with tens of thousands of dollars of security and a SWAT team on hand. Those guys would be gunning down shoppers at a Supermarket 5 years from now if it weren’t for the fact they decided attacking this event was a good idea.

        1. Catatafish

          God, the comments…they hurt…the brain…

        2. Libertarian

          “Pamela Geller did the world a service by drawing Jihadist scum to an event with tens of thousands of dollars of security and a SWAT team on hand. ”

          I had this thought as well. It was like roach bait. Perhaps instead of dropping bombs overseas, the DoD could sponsor blasphemous cartoon conventions around the country with snipers positioned appropriately.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            A well-trained SWAT team, not like ATF SWAT.

            Then again DBEYR

            TTYL

          2. CatoTheElder

            According to [GPD spokesman] Harn, the two suspects pulled up to the event in a car, immediately got out with assault rifles and began shooting at a police car that was parked next to a barricade.

            Garland Independent School District police Officer Bruce Joiner was hit, but suffered non-life threatening injuries.

            A traffic officer at the scene opened fire on the suspects with a service pistol, killing both of them outside their car.

            The really surprising thing is that the guy who actually stopped these jihadis was a traffic cop armed with only his pistol.

            They were wearing body armor to boot. Damn good shooting versus two guys armed with rifles.

  32. Libertarian

    Ahem!

    “In 1999, Islamic art expert Wijdan Ali wrote a scholarly overview of the Muslim tradition of depicting Mohammed, which can be downloaded here in pdf format. In that essay, Ali demonstrates that the prohibition against depicting Mohammed did not arise until as late as the 16th or 17th century, despite the media’s recent false claims that it has always been forbidden for Muslims to draw Mohammed. Until comparatively recently in Islamic history, it was perfectly common to show Mohammed, either in full (as revealed on this page), or with his face hidden (as shown on the next page). Even after the 17th century, up to modern times, Islamic depictions of Mohammed (especially in Shi’ite areas) continued to be produced. ”

    http://www.zombietime.com/moha…..c_mo_full/

    1. Bam!

      His point is well reasoned and argued. I’m sure the Islamic world will understand and moderate their behavior.

    2. Rich

      up to modern times, Islamic depictions of Mohammed (especially in Shi’ite areas) continued to be produced

      Emphasis added. Hence all the fighting, DUH!

      1. PM

        Splitters!

        1. Rich

          No, really, that’s the way it’s spelled.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Even after the 17th century, up to modern times, Islamic depictions of Mohammed (especially in Shi’ite areas) continued to be produced.

      Just because they get to do it, doesn’t mean infidels do, too. I’m sure the reaction of Persians to Christians or Jews drawing Mohammed, particularly mockingly, would be very…robust.

      1. CatoTheElder

        Dante only put Mohammad and Ali in the 8th Circle of Hell, just after a bunch of greedy, murderous popes if memory serves.

        Their punishment is to sort of walk around in a circle, get chopped in half, slowly heal as they continue walking in a circle, and then get chopped in half again. It’s their shared punishment for sowing perpetual and violent dissension.

    4. Catatafish

      Look, you really can’t fault those 16th/17th century imams for creating this rule. Do YOU want historically accurate depictions of your lord and savior raping a six year old?

      1. Pan Zagloba

        She was 9 and begging for it!

        1. Catatafish

          *puts flipper to chin and ponders*

          Well, okay then.

  33. iCarl

    Popehat continues to be a Twitter badass:

    Jordan Nichols

    How was that a thing? A gathering of white people making fun of a religion they know hardly anything about???

    Popehat

    @JordanLady well, I guess they know more about it now, don’t they?

    1. Dweebston

      Popehat @Popehat ? 2h 2 hours ago
      Problem with Supreme Court’s denial of cert on New Jersey gay conversion ban is that millions of gays will now be converted in dark alleys.

    2. “@JordanLady well, I guess they know more about it now, don’t they?”

      *drops mic*

      My personal favorite was when Gavin McGinnis responded to that reporter from the New York Times who said ‘Free speech aside, who thought this was a good idea?’ and McGinnis responded ‘The New York Times should change its slogan to “free speech aside.'”

  34. Rufus J. Firefly

    Anyone watch Gellar on CNN?

    Wow.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BhQ0UncIN0

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Wow…you are surprised she is sexy as hell?

      1. iCarl

        That accent… oy vey.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly

        No. How she handled that so well.

        CNN anchors have low IQs it seems.

        1. Catatafish

          I haven’t watched it yet but from what I’ve read about her performance, I’m disappointed in Camorata. I actually enjoyed her on Fox before I just stopped watching the news altogether.

    2. Jerry on the sea

      If only she could sound a bit less like Joan Rivers.

      1. iCarl

        Indeed.

    3. Zeb

      Watch who? On what?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        /throws pack of mayo at Zeb.

  35. Brett L

    Florida Bull mounts cop car. In Gainesville of course.

    1. Libertarian

      “The bull eventually wandered away, deputies said.”

      Sounds like the cops are really proactive in G’ville.

      1. Things are already bad enough without the police starting cattle riots too.

      2. Brett L

        I’m sure most Alachua County sheriffs deputies know enough about horny bulls to not confront one. I wouldn’t bet on an AR shooting.223 stopping it quickly. Besides, now the rookie has something to do. Wash the cruiser.

        1. Zeb

          Yeah, one of those is probably at least as hard to stop as a bear or moose.

  36. Batgirl Esq.

    “The head of New York State’s Senate, Dean Skelos (R-Long Island), has been arrested, along with his son, for extortion, fraud, and soliciting bribes.”

    Two down, one to go.

  37. GILMORE

    Corruption in NY state government? I AM FLABBERFOUNDED!?

  38. GILMORE

    So, Guy Benson.

    Is he old enough for that yet? He seems like he’s Doogie Howser in more ways than one.

  39. Enough About Palin

    “Former President Bill Clinton says there’s absolutely nothing “sinister” going on at the embattled Clinton Foundation, and if we can’t trust him, then who can we trust?”

    I did not have unethical relations with those donors.

  40. Is the article picture, that is missing alt-text, the cover of Carson’s latest soul album?

    1. GILMORE

      It is a little-known fact that the great Smoove B is actually a human personification of Teddy Pendergrass lyrics

      and Ben C. does bear some slight resemblance to the latter. I can see him saying, “If you vote for me…. I would gladly light some candles and take a shower with you.”

  41. Corning

    “Former President Bill Clinton”

    I believe the term you are looking for is “Mr. Clinton”

    1. Libertarian

      This is a pet peeve of mine. I cringe whenever Hannity says “Governor Palin”.

    2. Entropy Void

      Mx. Clinton?

      1. Nice.

    3. Zeb

      He’s not too likely to be confused for a different Bill Clinton.

      1. What if it ends up being “President Clinton and President Clinton” .. ? *shudder*

        1. BigT

          President Clinton and President ClitOne

    4. Zeb

      Be happy is wasn’t just “President Clinton”. That’s not a terribly uncommon style either.

  42. Mazakon

    Guy Benson, Townhall,com’s political editor, Fox News contributor, radio host, and former regular on the gone-but-not-forgotten The Independents came out of the closet

    So if he likes guys, does that mean he likes himself?

    1. GILMORE

      somewhere, a real joke died

    2. Zeb

      Every man would have sex with himself. It’s a true fact.

      1. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.

        Not true. I mean, I’d bang a clone of me, but not me me. That’s disgusting.

        1. Zeb

          How can you tell now that you are a Mx?

          1. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.

            How can you tell now that you are a Mx?

            That sounds like I’m being othered. CHECK YOUR MISTER PRIVILEGE!

  43. Cytotoxic

    Pamella Geller is still a know-nothing pseudoacademic hack whose main skill is to sell garbage to gullible conservaderps.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Geller is courageous, academics only pretend to be courageous, so I suppose you could call academics pseudo-Pamela Gellers.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.

        As far as I know, the Charlie Hebdo people aren’t (weren’t) academics either.

      2. Cytotoxic

        She’s ‘courageous’ enough to run her mouth about stuff she knows little about while pretending otherwise. She just bullshits. She hates freedom. She tried to block construction of a NY mosque.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.

          She’s hardly as 1st Amendment friendly as one would like –

          http://pamelageller.com/2014/0…..ayer.html/

          Though since she was just targeted for murder based on her speech, I would think she’s somewhat of a free speech heroine by now.

          I suppose I could mock Charlie Hebdo for its anti-“austerity” articles and its insistence of positing moral equivalence between Muslim terrorist fanatics on the one hand and Jews and Christians on the other, but this is about their freedom from being murdered.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.

            Oh, here we go, Charlie Hebdo supported a ban on women wearing burqas in public:

            http://deadstate.org/in-solida…..-cartoons/

            (scroll down to ‘Wear the Burqa ? on the Inside!’ (2010))

    2. GILMORE

      So what?

      i don’t really see how that person is really even relevant to the news story. Its about as important as whether a terrorist tried to kill people at McDonalds or Burger King.

      i also havent’ seen anyone (or any of the reporting on the story) even cite her comments.

    3. Warty

      She certainly is, but she accidentally managed to be the good guy here.

      1. Cytotoxic

        Fair enough.

    4. Brett L

      Look, anyone who is making a point about free speech in America is going to be an asshole almost tautologically. Free speech is important because the government doesn’t get to decide which assholes should be silenced. Therefore if you defend free speech, you’re always defending an asshole, and rarely one you agree with. Leave out all the buts. Anyone who would do violence over a cartoon is a worse asshole.

      1. Cytotoxic

        True, but my point still stands.

      2. Heedless

        If you find yourself defending the free speech rights of reasonable people, you are already fucked. See Britain for a cautionary tale.

    5. PapayaSF

      Geller knows a heck of a lot more about Islam than you do, Cytotoxic.

      1. Cytotoxic

        Fuck off. I’ve forgotten more than idiots like you and Geller will ever know. Christ I’m surprised you have time between watching NASCAR and Duck Dynasty listen to her bullshit.

        1. PapayaSF

          Once again, you merely display your ignorance and bad manners.

          1. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.

            Hey, when you’re right about everything, everyone else is a goddamn imbecile, only worthy of derision.

          2. Cytotoxic

            Wow. You of all people talking about ignorance. Tell us how Ebola is going to kill us all and La Raza will finish the survivors.

            1. PapayaSF

              More straw men. Weak.

  44. XM

    The shooters come from disadvantaged background, so I can’t condemn them. Damn it.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      If they were disadvantaged before, they’re more disadvantaged now.

    2. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.

      Thanks for not punching down.

  45. Matrix

    Proposed bill would take the State of Alabama out of the marriage license business.

    The Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday approved a bill by Republican Sen. Greg Albritton that would do away with current state marriage licenses issued by probate judges. Instead, couples would take a contract witnessed by a couple’s pastor, attorney or other witness and record the document at the court.

    This is how it should be done… contract, not licenses.

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