Public schools

Brickbat: No Parking



Parents of students at Georgia's Free Home Elementary School weren't happy to see a Jeep parked so that it blocked a school exit door. They were even less happy to find out the vehicle belonged to the school's principal. Officials with the Cherokee County fire department weren't happy either. A fire department spokesperson said they shared their concerns with school officials. A school spokesperson says they have addressed the issue with the principal and it won't happen again.

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  1. Hard night, Charlie?

  2. This is outrageous. I mean, an educator, doing something like this. That principal has no business driving a Jeep. That should be a Prius or at least a Jetta.

    1. In my high school, the most smug, lefty teacher drove a Saab.

      1. (I didn’t pay attention to faculty cars in elementary school)

    2. “It’s a Jeep thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

      1. Nice.

        If the principal had been male they could have affixed a “”Silly boys, Jeeps are for girls” bumper sticker to it.

  3. My question is at what civil service pay grade does your vehicle no longer become a safety hazard when it’s blocking an exit or parked in a fire lane?

    1. It depends on the size of the municipality in which you have parked and the size of the pecking order there.

  4. After we spoke to them, they indicated they were doing a little investigation and see what they could do to correct the problem, and we agreed to help them in any way that we could…

    So we need an investigation and a group intervention just to tell the principal not to park like a jackass again.

    1. No, they’re going to make examples of every student who complained so that it doesn’t get reported again.

      1. That explains it, I should have caught that but it’s early and I haven’t had my morning drink yet.

    2. ‘Hi, Paul. How’s your family? Great. And your goiter? Nice to hear it has grown. Paul, we’re hear because, well, it’s delicate. It’s been brought to our attention….can I offer you some water? Carbonated of course….no?…I – we – don’t know how to break this to you but could you please, wooo, is it hot in here? Maybe we should take a five, 30 minute break? Great….

  5. “New Jeep, Mike?”

    “No, like your mother it’s been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys.”

    1. Ladies and gents, ifh filling in for Epi – give her a hand!

      *comedy club applause*

      1. Indeed, that was laudably Epi-esque.

        *raises imaginary glass*

        1. C’mon, none of you recognised it? Stolen straight from Veep

          1. I’ve never watched it, but now the quotation marks make more sense to me.

            1. iPhone? 😉

              1. *narrows squinty gaze?*

          2. To be fair, quotes from tv shows are like half of his posts.

  6. Who am I supposed to be angry with in this story? The entitled principal? The hyperventilating parents who got upset about the principal parking wherever he damn well pleases? I guess the snowflakes had to go around to the other door that day. Or maybe it’s the fire department that wasted public resources on an “investigation” of the incident? Or, going back to the parents, what kind of cowards lodge a complaint to kick off a penny-ante investigation — complete with horrifying cell phone shots of a jeep parked where it shouldn’t be — but then don’t want to reveal their identities in order to preserve local harmony or somesuch? If the douchebaggery of the adult citizens is indicative of what their children are like, I have no problem with the principal getting through the day with a vodka-filled water bottle and parking anywhere on campus he damn well pleases, provided he doesn’t punch a hole in the masonry.

    1. Some parents don’t like the idea of their little snowflakes burning to a cinder because an exit door was blocked. You may feel different about your snowflakes.

      1. Can you please direct me to the portion of the article where children were burned alive? I seem to have skimmed over it. Thanks in advance.

    2. That was some production huh?

      When it all could have been settled with a simple, polite ‘hey, Dick Cokchead! Mind not parking there anymore? Thanks!’

      1. I suppose it’s possible this wasn’t the first time it happened.

        1. I’m with Rufus here, sans profanity.
          If the owner repeats the behavior I might garner support and put the “offender” under peer pressure or write the local paper with a name and school position (principal).

          1. I prefer the principal have a meeting with a couple of guys with a middle name of “the”, an axehandle, and their non-dominant hand.

            “We’d rather not have to come back for a follow-up.”

            1. Okay, I jest (and with a stolen joke no less). I just don’t think mere peer pressure will alleviate that level of ingrained entitlement.

              1. Public shaming can be effective, but if the principal is indeed that far away from social norms I’d have to resort to having his/her Jeep towed. Money loss is an incentive as well.

                1. I’d have to resort to having his/her Jeep towed

                  *First* resort.

                  “We have a damaged Jeep, registered to X, at the impound lot.”

          2. /sulks.

  7. I must be cursed. I’ve gotten ticketed for a burned out taillight (on a VW — they make ’em that way!) while I have to suffer tales from friends who get pulled over going triple digits and all they get is a warning.

    1. It’s certainly got nothing to do with your “Fuck you, G-Man!” bumper sticker

      1. I was wondering if those friends had personal assets that Libertarian was lacking…

      2. Heh. I’ve often wondered how someone with a “Bad Cop, No Donut” bumper sticker gets treated when they’re pulled over.

        1. I guess it would depend on the cop and their sense of humor (and mood that day).

          I’ve been contemplating getting a sticker that reads “Warning: Trunk Eats Radiators”.

          1. “I Brake For Tailgaters”


            1. FUCK YOUR UNION

  8. I assume the vehicle was towed and the principle was given numerous citations, just as what would have happened if I had done the same thing. No? Oh yeah. He’s on the same team as the cops.

  9. To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, if its’ flammable and has wheels it’s never blocking a fire exit. At least if you’re as important as the principal and would naturally be allowed to leave first.

  10. It’s actually a female principal. And supposedly she snuggled the vehicle up there to avoid hail damage from the storm coming through.

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