Huckabee in 2016? Ack!, Democrats Rumble Over Free Trade, Standardized Testing Revolt: P.M. Links

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  • Gage Skidmore

    Mike Huckabee plans to announce his presidential intentions this evening. Heh heh heh. This should be fun.

  • It's Democrat vs. Democrat as civil war breaks out between those who see escape from the economic doldrums in loosened trade restrictions and those who just want to seal the borders.
  • President Obama is most upset that Loretta Lynch hasn't been approved as attorney general. Yeah, it's petty, but that might be reason enough to keep this going.
  • Iran proposed a four-point peace plan for Yemen, where it backs one of the warring factions, at the United Nations. It's the Middle East, so don't try to think too much about it or you'll hurt yourself.
  • Deadly bombings kill at least 40 people in Iraq, with one explosion just outside the U.S. Consulate in Irbil. ISIS claimed responsibility.
  • 155,000 and counting of the 1.1 million New York public school students required to take standardized Common Core tests this week have refused. Whoops! Opposition to standardized testing grows across the country.

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  1. Mike Huckabee plans to announce his presidential intentions this evening.

    NEW FRONTRUNN-

    No. Can’t even say it.

    1. At least the Rs have some variety. Hillary is the only crone for D.

      1. Why dismiss Chaffee so easily?

    2. Hello.

      I hear Fiorina is getting set to jump in. Can she take on Hillary?

      1. How would that even work? Would they just, like…scissor or what?

        1. Scissor me timbers!

          1. *runs from room in futile effort to choke back vomit*

          2. “Oh! You kicked me right in the pussy!”

        2. The R gets the strap-on.

    3. Wow!
      So you are saying that Huckabee will be the Democratic front runner right?
      I mean, he IS a progressive after all.

    4. Huckabee – Santorum : the dream ticket

      for Hillbillary

    5. Huckabee’s the guy who plays those dirty rock and roll sex songs.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyDFtJdh0Zs

  2. President Obama is most upset that Loretta Lynch hasn’t been approved as attorney general.

    He can’t get anyone elected.

    1. So, chalk the wait up to racism or War on Womyn?

      Tough call, given how much Team Read is known to hate everyone, everywhere

      1. Red, dammit. TEAM RED

        1. Yeah, come on. Everybody knows that republicans are too stupid to read…

        2. Team Reid ?

    2. Couldn’t we change her name to be less confusing? I keep thinking Loretta Lynn.

  3. Mike Huckabee, being a total genius, decides to announce his presidential campaign on Friday night, the time that real politicians dump information they don’t want anyone to report.

    1. Suspect that he’s in the race for the same reason Warren will enter – to keep the party platform from moving to far towards the center in the primary.

      1. Fuck the center. Let’s move the platform up. . .to freedom!

      2. I think it is just a money making scheme. Candidates get to keep all of the money left over after the campaign ends, I believe. Shuckabee will simply raise millions, spend thousands and get his name in the press. I would be surprised if he actually gave a shit what happened to the GOP.

        1. Interesting.
          I like money and I don’t give a shit what happens to the GOP.

          Oppor-toonity!

      3. Warren knows if she enters, she wins.

        1. Your hope is delicious.

          1. You do understand that the wager is negated should she opt to not run. Because if Warren doesn’t seek the nomination, she becomes Schrodinger’s Cat. Without having ran for the nomination, she has simultaneously won and lost the nomination.

            1. No

              The wager was predicated on your certainty that she’d get the nom and me thinking anybody else would. Your drunk self should more carefully phrase your wagers to include an ‘if she runs’ clause.

              1. I’m starting a podcast with a completely apolitical friend of mine. I brought up the wager on our first episode (unpublished). He thought it was hilarious. And I think he’s going to actually register to vote and cast a ballot for Hillary now just to create comedy gold on the podcast.

                1. I’m curious to see how the wager is presented in your podcast.

                  1. It is presented by me as sheer horror and a guaranteed welch (hey, only appropriate since it is a Welch that brings us together). My cohost presents it with laughter and wishes to bring it up via call back in virtually every segment.

                    1. a guaranteed welch

                      A man is only as good as his word, Sudden.

                    2. Nice.

            2. If she’s a cat, she’ll need to give up her Cherokee.

        2. Yeah, the nomination. She’d get absolutely demolished in the general and would probably set the hard left (read: progressives) back a decade from all the gains they’ve made in the party apparatus.

          1. Nah, she wouldn’t win the nomination. There are plenty of Democratic voters who aren’t full-blown socialists.

            1. Citation needed

              1. It’s certainly less true than it once was.

            2. Liawatha ain’t just any socialist, she’s a sociavaginalist.

              Is she this eras William Jennings Bryant?

              1. …vaginalist

                Go on.

            3. Not anymore. Have you been hibernating?

          2. I agree with you about her getting demolished in the general, unless the GOP nominates someone truly unelectable (Fatso, Huckster). Also, never underestimate the women vote. Think of the perfect storm of Warren vs Christie where the latter makes a really dumb statement pandering to the fetus fanciers. It could happen.

            1. I think Christy Chris is very electable, just not nominatable.

            2. The only person that Warren could beat is Sphinctorum. Who has zero chance of winning the nomination.

              And anyone that falls for the blather about the women vote block has never worked with women.

      4. That’s a trend I’ve noticed in the 21st C.: referring to the presidential nomination process as “the primary”. Never used to see that yrs. ago. I pay a lot of att’n to language trends.

  4. Fracking and earthquakes: Exploring the connection

    So far, fracking-induced earthquakes have caused little or no damage in Canada. B.C. and Alberta have each recorded tremors of 4.4 in magnitude, which are considered minor.

    Quakes above magnitude 6 are more serious and can cause a lot of damage in populated areas. Nowhere in the world has an earthquake of that level been linked with fracking.

    Still, May Mickelow worries about what might be coming for Fox Creek.

    1. My opinion is that little earthquakes are good, because they decrease or remove stress that could cause larger earthquakes.

      1. Maybe (I’m not an expert).

        I just like the ending of that story, like all stories about the environment:

        “This technology we’ve been using for decades causes little to no impact, but we should shut it shut it all down anyways.”

        *sigh*

        1. Ha, ha! Since when do the Koch brothers own the CBC?

      2. Tori Amos likes Little Earthquakes too.

        1. Not really, man. They’re ripping us into pieces.

          1. I heard her say that she wanted to kill this waitress, but didn’t, because Tori believes in love.

      3. Intraplate earthquakes are time independent:

        http://earthquake.usgs.gov/haz…..senSRL.pdf

        Unless you’re near a big interplate fault, the chances of a quake happening next week are the same whether the last quake was yesterday or a century ago.

      4. Its the same theory Epi uses for masturbation. If he jack off ten times a day and never has sex, he’ll never get a woman knocked up.

        1. Epi’s problem is he keeps going after spent hens, like my mom.

          1. Your mom goes after spent hens? Or are you comma-challenged?

          2. And THIS^ is why there are no women libertarians.

      5. That’s my (non-expert) take on it as well. Releasing a little tension on mid-plate faults seems like a good idea. And minor earthquakes are kind of cool.

      6. Yes, but big ones can start as small ones. I experienced a 7.6. It started as a very small vibration right after the electric went out. Maybe some sort of cascading phenomenon.

    2. But 4 sounds so close to 6, and most people don’t know the Richter scale is logarithmic.

      1. We need an exponential increase in the number of people who know what “logarithmic.” means.

        1. No, we need an exponential decrease in the number of people that don’t know what it means.

          1. Exponential declines asymptotically; too slow.

      2. Well, I mean a 6 is only like 100x bigger than a 4, so yeah, it’s really close.

          1. [hit submit too soon]

            1000x as energetic.

            1. Yes, you’re correct. My bad.

      3. Do they teach logarithms in journalism school?

        1. Only at Columbia, I’m told.

          1. Well, obviously ?you? wouldn’t know about that. Have you gone to Columbia? Huh?

            1. Clearly, D6, I have missed out on many somethings.

              Your roll. Or isn’t it?

  5. “Ack!”??? Really, 2Chilly? This is not the comic strip “Cathy,” a fact for which we are all thankful.

    1. It’s also the Martian language from Mars Attacks!.

    2. I thought “Ack!” belonged to Bill the Cat (who, by the way, ran for President once)

      1. My old shriveled brain may be wrong — perhaps it was only Opus.

        1. No, you’re right. He ran twice. (Wiki’d it.) Not sure if Opus was his VP or not.

          1. Opus was VP.

      2. Yeah, he acked up a hairball or 3 back in the day.

    3. Is it bathing suit season already?

    4. I think it’s meant to evoke “Ackbar!” And thus, “It’s a trap!”

    5. I think it’s meant to evoke “Ackbar!” And thus, “It’s a trap!”

      1. +1 Jeff.

          1. Swiss Servator is alive!

            It must have been the B??gg whose head exploded earlier in the day.

            Phew. What would some of do without the fabled narrow gaze, I wonder?

  6. President Obama is most upset that Loretta Lynch hasn’t been approved as attorney general. Yeah, it’s petty, but that might be reason enough to keep this going.

    I say the DOJ should sue and seize the assets of every Republican who opposes her. That’ll teach them.

    1. And they might even be accused of a crime one of these days!

  7. Iran proposed a four-point peace plan for Yemen, where it backs one of the warring factions, at the United Nations.

    One of the points involve Iran giving them nukes?

    1. Point three: destroy Israel.
      Point four: total peace

      Richman: Seems fair, let’s give it a try, guys.

  8. Obama called on Congress to move her nomination forward, saying that no one could articulate a reason beyond political gamesmanship as to why she has not been confirmed.

    With all due respect, no one *has* to articulate a reason.

    1. Obama has to articulate a reason why she’s better than Holder. If she can’t even pass that threshold she should obviously be rejected.

      1. “The Attorney General serves at the pleasure of the President.”

        “Ooh, Mr. President!”

        1. So, better than Holder?

          1. You gotta know when to Hold ’em ….

  9. Mike Huckabee plans to announce his presidential intentions this evening. Heh heh heh. This should be fun.

    If God had wanted him to be president he would have miracled his ass into the White House, wouldn’t he have?

      1. Yes.
        +1 Pyle reference.

    1. I’m kinda hoping Huckabee dies for my sins. Better him than me.

      1. I ? Huckabee

      2. No need, someone already died for your sins.

        Huckabee needs to go back to preaching to his flock (of idiots) and give up politics for several reasons.

        1 – no hope of getting elected
        2 – has no qualifications (but looking at past presidents, this might not be a big deal)
        3 – no hope of getting nominated
        4 – will kill GOP turnout if nominated (except for his flock)
        5 – with the exception of his religious views, his politics are Democrat

  10. Opposition to standardized testing grows across the country.

    Can’t get much more common than that.

    1. A small minority should not be allowed to terrorize the rest of us into denying progress. And if the numbers grow, their standing in the way of progress will be oppressive.

      1. oppressive to whom?

  11. If you oppose free trade, then you hate the poor

    1. “We’re here today to fight,” the Massachusetts Democrat said, whipping up a crowd of about 1,200 people in a park facing the Capitol Building. “We are here to fight. Are you ready to fight?”

      We have chosen our champion! Don’t spoil the narrative you wrecker!

  12. Larry Summers on how to stimulate investment in a slow-growth world

    “We all seem to agree that there’s too much saving going on and not enough investment. How much is because of too much saving, and how much because there is not enough investment. That’s a question that people can debate about,” he says.

    There has been little incentive to save, with interest rates at record lows, yet businesses aren’t investing as they once did, nor are governments.

    So naturally the answer is to steal the money and “invest” it:

    “I think a strategy for growth isn’t global is not likely to be a successful strategy. One of the real worries we have is that countries are going to seek to grow by stealing demand from each other, rather than trying to grow collectively. That’s an important part of what made the Depression Great,” he said.

    And that’s why he is pushing for public investment where private investment fails.

    1. How does a country go about ‘stealing demand’ from other countries and why does Larry Summers think it made the great depression worse?

      1. Yeah, I really don’t get that. How can you steal someone wanting something? I can see how an ignorant person might think supply is zero sum, but demand??

      2. Oh, I got it! You figure out ahead of time what they will demand, then supply it before they know they want it, and thus you prevent them from filling the demand themselves!

        We call that move Reverse Sudetenlands.

      3. I thought that he said that it made the depression great.

    2. That’s what Keynesianism is all about: the thesis that, to some varying degree, individuals save more than is collectively good for the economy, in the sense that there could be more employment, output, & consumption if people saved less overall. So their remedy is to discourage, to the degree necessary, saving, and increase investment either directly or by stimulating demand. That’s why inflation is supposed to be stimulatory, at least insofar as operating where the savings are in money rather than idle goods.

  13. Heroic twitter troll manages to get on BBC and talks about how Star Wars is racist, sexist, colonialist, and homophobic.

    “”There’s a lot of social problems with [Star Wars], rooted in casual racism, homophobia,” he claimed, before asserting: “Star Wars reeks of misogyny.”

    Darth Vader, the primary antagonist of the original George Lucas trilogy, came in for special criticism: “The main bad guy, what’s he called, Dark Raider. He’s all black. He listens to rap music. He’s just a real bad racial stereotype.””

    1. David Brin? Is that you?

      1. That guy’s twitter account is hilarious:

        “Dear men-
        If you’re attitude to sex is “I do it because it feels nice” you shouldn’t be doing it at all.
        #YesAllWomen”

        “Just an FYI in case you’re so self absorbed that you missed the memo.
        #FreeSpeech does not cover offensive words or disagreement.
        Stop. Now.”

        “Don’t want to be labelled a rapist? Then respect women’s boundaries and remember that consent can be revoked at any time. Even after sex.”

        “NO. You CANNOT just SAY what you WANT. The Muslim freedom fighters who thwarted Charlie Hebdo have already argued this case.
        @wstreetgrinch”

        1. It’s parody, right? Right?

          1. @GodfreyElfwick – Demisexual genderqueer Muslim atheist. Literal good guy.

            Yeah, dude is pretty clearly troll POS. I’m sure his new Muslim overlords will find his schtick especially hilarious.

            1. I have been thinking about starting an SJW twitter handle and agitating for the rights of left handed people.

              1. It wasn’t long ago that nuns rapped the hands of children with rulers just for a quirk of how God made them!

            2. There is no such thing as a Muslim Atheist, unless he means he’s an atheist who was raised in islamic culture but that’s a very different thing from being a muslim atheist. And don’t get me started on the “jewish atheist” chick in my office who takes time off for every jewish holiday.

              1. Tonio,

                I was at a buddy’s house and flippantly said something (I cannot now recall what it was) which caught the attention of his step daughter, who lightly and with good nature criticized me: “Wait – I’m Jewish.” she said.

                I did not point out the fact that she and her mother regularly eat pork.

                I suppose many of us have our peculiarities and employ “situational ethics” on occasion.

                She’s an intelligence person, in my opinion, and you might be glad to know that she accepted the copy of Hazlett’s “Economics in One Lesson” I bought for her and told me she’d read it.

                1. Oh, plenty of practicing Jews don’t keep Kosher. And I think it is reasonable to consider Jews an ethnic and not just a religious group.

              2. I’m pretty sure it’s a joke.

                1. Zeb,

                  My sense was and remains that her response was good-hearted.

        2. “NO. You CANNOT just SAY what you WANT. The Muslim freedom fighters who thwarted Charlie Hebdo have already argued this case.
          @wstreetgrinch”

          Bravo.

    2. “Dark Raider?” There are Bushmen in Africa who know the Star Wars characters. I call intentional ignorance. Fifteen-yard penalty. Better make that meter.

      1. It’s a fake parody of SJWs that BBC invited on a radio show because he was tweeting jokes about Star Wars.

        1. A fake parody? What’s a fake parody? Reality?

          1. Fake self-parody, which is actually just parody.

        2. So he’s real?

        3. “It’s a fake parody….”

          Ack!

          1. Yes, I said fake parody. Get over it.

            1. I don’t mind you saying it, but I’m still working on unraveling your meaning.

              Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if’n I freeze, I can’t rightly drop. And if’n I drop, I’m a-gonna be in motion.

              1. This is what I deserve for not refreshing – I referenced a Cohen brother’s movie in my response to Irish and whilst typing you quote another one.

              2. Ya’ll hear that! We usin’ code names!

            2. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to use a Bill the Cat reference for a week or so, and happily someone else made a reference to him earlier. You, Sir, provided me the actual opportunity, for which I am thankful.

              If you recall, Irish, I am usually in agreement with your statements here at Reason, which is far more important, in my opinion. I wasn’t intentionally giving you the “high hat” (as Casper would say).

              Ever watch “Miller’s Crossing”?
              I recommend it.

    3. They bought it? Those are some crack investigative reporters at the BBC.

    4. Wow. Someone that’s actually funny on twitter.

  14. President Obama is most upset that Loretta Lynch hasn’t been approved as attorney general.

    I can’t stand you, Team Red, and you’re doing the right thing for absurdly bad reasons here, but if you could drag this out another 20 months, I’m perfectly ok with that.

    1. Obama probably wants to be rid of Holder, fearing the scandals that might still erupt. If he gets Holder out of the way, the scandals can be dismissed as “old news,” but if it blows up while Holder is still in office…

      1. I bet you are correct. I can’t wait until he is out to pasture. The shit that will come out then will be breathtaking.

        1. I realize I should mention that I think John suggested this idea first, some time back.

    2. But that would be handing team Donkey a talking point for the election, that Team Elephant, particularly those in the senate, are OBSTRUCTIONISTS!!1! And anti-women.

    3. Why no special prosecutor? Why?

  15. VIDEO: Students are ‘Ready for Hillary’

    Answers ranged from “she’s a woman,” to “because it’s time we have a female president.”

    DOOM!

    1. I wonder if the ‘she’s a woman’ line will hold up with, say, Carly Fiorina?

      That was rhetorical.

      1. Back in ’08, there were some women who support Palin for no reason other than she was a woman. It really is that important to them.

    2. Luckily college students don’t vote.

      1. I hate to burst your BMI bubble, Fist, but….

    3. I thought we already had a pussy in the White House?

    4. Answers ranged from “she’s a woman,” to “because it’s time we have a female president.”

      Would this work for anyone NOT in a protected class?

      Answers ranged from “he’s a Muslim,” to “because it’s time we have a Muslim president.”

      Answers ranged from “he’s a polygamist,” to “because it’s time we have a polygamist president.”

      Answers ranged from “she’s a prostitute,” to “because it’s time we have a prostitute president.”

      Answers ranged from “he’s a different breed of white guy,” to “because it’s time we have a different breed of white guy president.”

      Now…GET OFF MY LAWN!

      1. I guess it wasn’t time to have a Mormon president.

        1. Wait, we’ve already had…sorry, I missed a letter.

          1. Plenty, I posit.

            Nice what you did there, by the way.

      2. “because it’s time we have a prostitute president.”

        We’ve already had a few of those.

        1. Messalina for president AD 40!

          1. +I Claudius

          2. Theodora instead! She was Justinian’s backbone at a couple of critical times.And quite a hottie, judging by some mosaics.

            1. Bring Belisarius in for Chief of Staff and Narses as Secretary of State and you’d have my allegiance.
              Plus there’s Antonia for tabloids to cover!

              1. Good suggestions; we’re set to go.

      3. What do you expect from a collection of people chasing credentials rather than skills/merit. At least they’re finally admitting it after lying about it since 2008.

      4. We got Chocolate Nixon, it’s time for Cunthitler.

    5. Just for the record, despite her age, she’s quite inexperienced, what record she does have ranges from irrelevant to shitty, and almost no one really views her as honest and incorruptible. There are other women in the party who are eligible and have a better resume than her.

      To me, this whole business shows the moral bankruptcy of the party and of the media. It’s sad.

      1. My standard refrain when someone lists being Secretary of State as a qualifying accomplishment is as follows:

        Saying Hillary is qualified to be president because she was SoS between 2009-2013 is the equivalent of saying Dick Fuld is qualified to be Fed Chairman because he was the head of Lehman Brothers in 2008.

        1. How many other 70+ year-old political figures have such little experience? I mean, why not get someone who actually has a significant public record? I’m surprised that simply holding an office, which she got by virtue of her husband (like everything else she’s gotten), is treated as great experience. Leaving aside her incompetence and blatant disregard for anything resembling ethics.

        2. Colin Powell was a Sec of State. And African-American.

          I hope he goes on a murder binge at college campuses across America.

      2. But vaginal credentials!!

        1. Oddly, there are hundreds of millions of other vaginas in the U.S., many of which are connected to women eligible for office.

        2. She’s got a snuke in her snizz!

  16. BASICS UNITE!

    For the s’more frappucino is upon us.

      1. Teach Fist not to fat shame.

        1. Fatties have nothing to be proud of, save their increased chances of survival in arctic climates.

          1. Huh? They’re getting eaten first.

            1. If the polar bear thinks you’re a walrus, it’s less likely to attack you.

              1. Coo coo ka-choo!

    1. Doesn’t Starbucks know I hate marshmallows?

      1. I don’t know how they run the buck up in Canadia, but you should know that anything you actually *like* on the Starbucks menu will be promptly taken off by the time you return.

        1. Sounds like my local grocery store. Always removing shit I like from the shelves.

          WHERE’S MY TRIGGER WARNING FOR THAT?

          1. The whole island of Taiwan works like that. If you like something, stock up while it’s available.

  17. ‘I would not have a Dept. of Educ.’ Rubio.

    http://twitchy.com/2015/04/17/…..istration/

    1. Let the outrage begin.

    2. Because the Department of Education has done such a bang-up job in its 35 year history. The kids are dumber, the teachers are protected from consequences and fully pensioned for their incompetence, and American public schools have become armed prison camps.

      But I forget myself. They just need more funding.

    3. Hey, he’s off to a pretty good start.

    4. Well if you are against state involvement in education, you are against education, right? Wasn’t there some French guy who wrote passionately about that? Frederic’s of Paris or something…

  18. The best thing about Huckabee is how he answered a woman who asked if he was one of those narrow-minded Baptists who think only Baptists got to heaven.

    His response: “Oh, I’m worse than that. I don’t even think all Baptists go to heaven.”

    At least he’s honest about it.

    1. I actually like the guy, but I wouldn’t vote for him to be dog catcher. People should all enjoy freedom of conscience but I don’t want them having the power to take it away from everyone else.

      1. He’s a great axeman, but president? Nah.

      2. I agree. He seems like a likable guy who I disagree with.

      3. I agree, except I’m in the nostalgic mood for some US-old-school oppression, this new-fangled progressive oppression is losing its flavor.

        1. Old-fashioned conservative oppression is more fun for the culture than progressive oppression. The beatniks had fun rebelling against Eisenhower, and the hippies got to rebel against LBJ and Nixon. The counterculture is much less fun when they are doing the oppressing, like now.

          1. This is a good point. The culture is becoming very tiresome.

      4. He’d probably make a pretty good dog catcher.

  19. The bad parts of Common Core are the curriculum and instruction, not standardized tests.

    1. Here’s today’s essay question for math class:

      Why are men professional basketball players paid more than women professional basketball players? Does this make you feel unsafe and afraid?

      Please answer correctly, because the re-education camps really suck.

      1. The Patriarchy?

        1. I don’t know why. I enjoy watching titties bounce much more than some dipshit actually scoring points.

    2. Oh, it’s all bad, I’m sure.

    1. Would not strangulation normally be a type of battery? It would not be assault in most jurisdiction thst mske s distinction.

      1. You are correct, I messed that up. But then, why is “strangulation” a legally distinct kind of battery? I suppose there was some sensation strangulation case that led NY lawmakers to create a redundant law. Happens all the time.

        1. I always considered a little strangulation part of foreplay.

  20. ” Opposition to standardized testing grows across the country”

    The students are revolting.

    You said it. They stink on ice.

    1. The students are revolting.

      Everything in a school is revolting.

  21. Hillary’s Van Drove Past Elderly People in Wheelchairs Waiting to Talk to Her

    The Democratic front-runner had already snubbed everyday Americans when she parked at a handicapped spot for her convenience

    Again with the “convenience”. At least Al Gore had an inconvenient truth.

    1. I am beginning to think the bitch has narcissistic personality disorder a couple of degrees worse than Obumbles.

      1. She’s reminding me of Otto in A Fish Called Wanda: “Assshoolllllle!!!!”

        1. Does she read Nietzsche?

          1. If she does, she doesn’t understand it.

            1. Does she sniff the boots of attractive women she pretends are her sister?

              1. I think she wants everyone to sniff her boots.

                1. It’s hard to sniff the boot when it’s grinding your nose into the ground while pushing on the back of your head.

                  1. Had you simply complied with the initial order to volunteer freely you wouldn’t be in that anti-village/selfish position, now would you Pro?

      2. It’s just waiting to erupt in the “debates”. It’ll be like Captain Queeg with the steel balls.

        1. America could use a moment like that. All these leftists backing her no matter what, then some totally insane breakdown that makes even them (well, enough of them) back away slowly, holding their hands out, palms up.

          1. “And, yes, I *meant* it with ‘The Camps’! I’ll see you *all* behind concertina wire! Especially *you*, Charlotte! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!”

            1. Dragged off shouting, “It takes a village of stormtroopers, motherfuckers! I’ll fuck you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

              1. Next day’s press reports:

                “Despite relentless assault from Rand Paul, Secretary Clinton turned in yet another masterful, aggressive performance showing her mastery of multiple subjects…”

                1. Which would be the best part. As much as crazy is the new normal, I think there is a bridge too far for the media and the party. That they’ll eagerly walk across.

      3. She is combination of narcissistic and self-loathing. I really would like to know how many anti-depressant meds she’s on.

      4. She was the perfect match for Bill, then. Remember the haircut on the runway, or at least taxiway?

    2. Oh, my, this story keeps getting worse.

      1. Tell me you said “Oh, my” like Takei when you typed that. Because that’s bad ass.

        1. I didn’t say anything when I typed it (lol), but I frequently channel Takei. Thanks.

    3. Apparently, they have brain disabilities even bigger than their physical ones.

    4. Team Hillary also required everyone in the coffee shop she stopped at turn off their cell phones. You know, like normal people do when meeting in public.

    5. Did the van splash water on the old people as it sped past?

    6. It’s time we have a horrendous bitch president.

    7. Well, I see the full on Clinton Derangement Syndrome has begun. Seriously, she went into a building through the back door instead of the front door and THAT’S supposed to be a horrifying scandal?

      1. It’s not really a scandal as hilariously pathetic.

        She is meeting real folks, you know, the party operatives bussed in for carefully stage managed authentic interactions, and bypassing the actual icky real people she claims to love so much.

        She is the most amazingly colossal fuckup in politics I have ever witnessed, and a walking testament to Dogbert’s principal about incompetents failing upward.

        1. plus 1, peter principle.

  22. We all seem to agree that there’s too much saving going on

    I think we can all agree Larry Summers should stop sniffing glue.

    1. He spent time in Davis Inlet?

      http://bit.ly/1Jce6Tu

      1. Did you see these comments by some CONCACAF presidents yesterday?

        http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/32342080

        1. Uh… a Jordanian prince is also a candidate? WTF.

          Well, thankfully in the case, the rest of the football world can continue to pretend that CONCACAF doesn’t exist.

    2. I dunno, I’m fine with him octupling the dosage.

  23. ReasonTV gets a shout-out on Gizmodo for the Landmarks video. I haven’t dared to jump into the comments, but y’all should and report back.

    1. Sixteen good quotes, most supportive or raising tangential topics. Then, this:

      secretcircuit Alissa Walker
      4/17/15 2:47pm

      Ok seriously. Fuck this video.

      First off, let’s let Betteridge’s Law answer the headline of this article.

      Secondly, the premise of equating the timing of the law with what would have happened had the law passed 100 years ago is asinine. What if they had passed the law in 1665??? Dumb fucking question right?

      The other world class tier A city in the world, London, is doing just fine with its many restrictions on building while still not getting stuck in the past.

      Libertarians can be very annoying but this video is more just schilling for the rampant redevelopment of New York that is going on right now by context-blind developers.

      Seriously fuck everything about this.

      1. “The other world class tier A city in the world, London, is doing just fine with its many restrictions on building while still not getting stuck in the past.”

        LOL, no one other than the ultra rich can live in most of London because the lack of development has led to gigantic rent and real estate costs. It’s hilarious that this retard probably claims to care about income inequality, yet they applaud London, a city which is a brick and mortar monument to income inequality.

        Because of the cost of living in London, all the richest people in Britain live there and the farther you get from London the lower the incomes are and the lower the life expectancy is. London is only a ‘success’ story if you’re so balls rich you don’t much concern yourself with the degradation of the proletariat.

        1. Yeah, SF is locked into it’s ’70s housing stock because of strict limitations on development and people are freaking out about how expensive housing is there and how terrible the housing stock is, but they don’t want more development. I can’t imagine how those things might be related.

        2. My guess: this guy has never been to London. Maybe he visited on vacation for a few days, but that’s it. But he’s seen pictures and watches a few shows set in London, and it all seems well organized.

          I think this is a safe assumption.

          1. London real estate is something like 25% more expensive than New York, and New Yorkers are always bitching about rent.

            It’s staggeringly expensive.

      2. I know, secretcircuit, right? I just can’t even! Ugh!

        [insert animated gif of Taylor Swift rolling her eyes]

        1. Thankfully, Heroic, it’s drinking time here in the Mid-Atlantic.

    2. Save the Hippodrome!

      The comments are, by far, mostly in agreement to one degree or another. I spotted only one “fuck the libertarians” rant.

      1. She is getting some pushback, and mostly from people who are like “why do we need old buildings” not pushing the libertarian POV.

  24. So what is it that Huckleberry wants? He want to play his bass geetar on the teevee again?

    1. You may be on to something, Hyper.

      1. Well, I mean Huckleberry’s window of opportunity flew past him at warp speed back in 2008.

        Unlike Hillary, who’s window of opportunity crawled by her like a thousand year old tortoise and she didn’t even notice.

        Also, Huckleberry doesn’t have billions in campaign donations from countries who stone women to death for the least of slights, like Hillary does.

        So, yeah, I think he wants to play geetar on teevee again.

  25. Isn’t it weird how strawberry gatorade tastes just like jello? I’m simultaneously fascinated and disgusted but I’m probably going to drink the whole bottle. Slurp.

  26. How’d I miss this?

    The U.S. House this week introduced a bill that would tie the current flat rate fuel tax to inflation as a long-term highway funding measure and appropriate an immediate $12 billion to the Highway Trust Fund to ensure short-term solvency.

    The bill, dubbed the Bridge to Sustainable Infrastructure, would also establish a task force to oversee the Highway Trust Fund and its solvency and put in place measures to raise fuel taxes if Congress fails to prevent shortfalls in the Highway Trust Fund by the start of 2017 and 2020.

    So a group of unelecte bureaucrats who will be on this ‘task force’ can raise taxes by fiat if Congress fails to do so.

    http://www.etrucker.com/ovd/ho…..-inflation
    And, tying gas tax to inflation? I’ve been told repeatedly that there is no inflation.

    1. So a group of unelecte bureaucrats who will be on this ‘task force’ can raise taxes by fiat if Congress fails to do so.

      Sheesh, Paul, the President can’t do *everything*!

    2. Stop trying to distract us from the important stuff like gays denied pizza service.

    3. The U.S. House this week introduced a bill that would tie the current flat rate fuel tax to inflation

      “Too much Savings” Larry Summers was consulted.

  27. So, I took the MCAT today. They added a new section. Now in addition to physical science, critical thinking and biological science, there is a psychology/sociology section. I don’t want to give the test away since I signed something to that affect, but “Legal scholar Cass Sunstein”, quite a bit of racial disparity stuff, and conflict theory (which derives from Marxism) were mentioned. I guess because SJWs weren’t doing so well on the organic chemistry questions.

    1. Idiocracy was a warning.

      1. No, it was prologue.

          1. A utopian fantasy.

      2. What? I thought Idiocracy was a documentary.

    2. Good luck!

    3. Cripes. So you have to parrot Cultural marxist bullshit in order to pass?

      1. Well, since we’re going to totally socialize medicine, doctors need to learn to speak Marxist. It’s not like they’ll be allowed to change professions, after all.

    4. Good luck on the test!

      As for the other stuff: “Sure, we want physicians to be able to save heart-attack victims, but what do they know about intersectionality and rape culture?”

    5. “Legal scholar Cass Sunstein”, quite a bit of racial disparity stuff, and conflict theory

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

  28. At least abortionists care about women, unlike those horrible pro-lifers.

    http://www.lifenews.com/2015/0…..e-to-walk/

  29. “Dear men-
    If you’re attitude to sex is “I do it because it feels nice” you shouldn’t be doing it at all.

    .
    Well, I sure as Hell don’t do it because I long to hear the pitter patter of little P Brooks, jr feet.
    hth

    1. Who knew Jezebel would endorse Huckabee?

    2. That’s a relief. I do it because it hurts her.

  30. It’s Democrat vs. Democrat as civil war breaks out between those who see escape from the economic doldrums in loosened trade restrictions and those who just want to seal the borders.

    The picture of Warren is embarrassing. People actually buy her as some revolutionary. Sheesh. And:

    a Democratic Party whose progressive wing is enjoying an upswing thanks to the aggressive populism of Warren and liberals like Sen. Bernie Sanders, who are unabashedly anti-free trade deal.

    1. Interesting that Sanders is differentiated as a “liberal.” Are populist, progressive, and socialist not more accurate?
    2. It’s sad that in the US today, being “liberal” means being “unabashedly anti-free trade.” Free trade was the founding policy of liberalism.

    1. Sanders is straight up socialist, by his own admission.

      1. Tsk, tsk. Socialist is just a slur that conservatives hurl at righteous TEAM Blue people who want to stick it to all of those undeserving fatcat 1%ers and pass sensible, common sense, sensibly common regulations so we don’t live in the Wild West.

        Pay no attention to all of those so-called “socialists” who seized control of industries by force, ran them into the ground, and butchered their perceived political enemies like cattle.

      2. At least he’s honest.

  31. The U.S. House this week introduced a bill that would tie the current flat rate fuel tax to inflation
    .
    They’re cutting the gas tax by a third? Sweet.

  32. On today’s episode of “Jack-Ass: Feminist Edition”

    Feminist Store Charges Men More for Items to Protest “America’s Wage Gap”

    A feminist activist has opened a store in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that will charge men more than women to protest the “wage gap” she believes is badly hurting women in the United States.

    According to its website, 76

    1. Fuckin Squirrels not only chopped half my post, the erased my pithy comment

      A feminist activist has opened a store in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that will charge men more than women to protest the “wage gap” she believes is badly hurting women in the United States.

      The store, which will only be operating in Pittsburgh from April 1 until April 30, is called “76

      1. It’s the less than sign/left angle bracket that’s killing you. Let’s see if HTML entities can come to the rescue. It’s called “76<100.”

    2. So men who are into masochism are flocking to the store?

    3. Isn’t that discriminating on the basis of gender? I thought that sort of thing was bad, like crossing the streams.

      1. No, no, no. You see, it’s okay because feminists are trying to make a point! Sort of like how it’s okay to lie about rape because your trying to make a point all of the other actual rapes that go on every day on college campuses everywhere in America!

        You should never let facts get in the way of the (feminist) narrative!

        1. I totally support their freedom to discriminate against men, if that’s what they want to do, but I’m afraid U.S. anti-discrimination laws don’t allow them this freedom. I’d hate to see them get sued. Perhaps they should oppose such laws so they’ll have a free hand to do such things.

      2. They’re punching up, you see.

        1. More like scratching.

    4. Sounds like a winning business model to me.

      1. No worries, I bet it goes out of business so fast Obama will still be around to bail them out.

    5. I think a good portion, maybe even a majority, of the shit men purchase is on behalf of women.

      So, if I go in and purchase tampons do I get the man price or the woman price?

      1. Women are responsible for the tons of perfectly serviceable goods (furniture, clothing, housewares) being thrown out & replaced.

  33. Tulsa Roommates Stab Each Other Over Debate Between iPhone & Android

    When police arrived at the apartment complex, they learned that the roommates had been drinking and arguing over their mobile phones.

    Police say the two men broke beer bottles and stabbed each other with them. One of the men smashed a bottle over the back of the other man’s head.

    Sadly the wounds don’t seem to be fatal.

    Police did not respond when our photographer asked which phone is better.

    Look at that solid trolling by local ABC affiliate!

    1. Now that, that is journalism. I have a tear in my eye.

    2. That’s nothing compared to the carnage of the “less filling/tastes great” arguments.

      1. Not really. That shit tasted like shit, so “tastes great” was never an option.

    3. I dunno, maybe they can work something with this in the style of old “I’m a Mac” commercials.

    4. I think that is “4.5” of Larry Miller’s ‘levels of drinking’.

      1. Our busboy is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen.

  34. Son of a bitch!

    A feminist activist has opened a store in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that will charge men more than women to protest the “wage gap” she believes is badly hurting women in the United States.

    The store, which will only be operating in Pittsburgh from April 1 until April 30, is called “76-100.” According to its website, “76-100 is a traveling pop-up shop for gender wage equality. Each installment of the project offers work from exceptional women artists, makers, and entrepreneurs from throughout the US, priced to reflect the wage gap in it’s respective location.”

    In Pittsburgh, men who enter the store will pay 100% of its cost. Women, in contrast, will only have to pay 76% of its cost.

    The site explains, “Mirroring this inequality, male shoppers at this location will be charged 100% of the retail price of any item, while women and those who identify as women will be charged 76% of this price. Events held throughout the month will connect, empower, and promote local women and girls.”

    That’s what I get for not hitting that fancy Preview button.

    1. Sue the living fuck out of her. Public accommodation laws apply to sex discrimination

      1. Please – just don’t buy her stuff. Is she the town’s only source of organic kale or something?

    2. “women and those who identify as women will be charged 76% of this price”

      OWNER: “That will be $100, sir.”

      BIFF THE BIKER: “Hey, I identify as a woman!”

      OWNER: “That will be $76, ma’am, sorry for the inconvenience.”

      BIFF [after leaving the story]: “That’s funny, now that I’ve left, I feel like a man again, heh heh.”

    3. I’ll, um, wager “those who identify as women” make more than women.

    4. It sounds like a genius marketing ploy to me. Sort of like how grocery stores have frequent shopper cards to make it seem like you’re getting a discount, even if you spend more on net balance. Assuming the store owner isn’t a moron at business, the “76% figure” is the real price needed to charge customers to stay in the black, since men are invariably going to shop there less, if at all.

      1. Of course, if the owner is a moron. It’ll be delightful when she loses money.

        1. It is not a store. It is performance art in the form of a store.

      2. ^^THIS

        The 76% price is absolutely the price because nobody will ever pay the 100% price.

        1. I think I found an idiot.

          Joe Quattrocchi
          I love it. When she pops up in NYC I’ll go down just to pay the full price. (father of three girls)

          Like ? Reply ? 128 ? Apr 15, 2015 5:19pm

          I called it. I said it would happen and I was proven right at last: Here’s a white woman lecturing a black man about “privilege.”

          Andre Morgan ? Columbus, Ohio
          So I’m a black man walking in with a black woman…. I must carry another burden for privileges I arguably never see? When statistically, I am most likely worse off than she? How far does this intersectionality training mentioned extend? Because it’s a lot more difficult than simply stating statistics.

          Like ? Reply ? 11 ? Apr 15, 2015 4:35pm

          Ginmar Rienne
          Yeah, you’re a man, you still have privileges I can’t dream of. Mens’ rights get set in stone, and womens’ in sand. We only get rights to the extent that we serve some benefit to men; if we don’t, we cease to be human. You make more money than your female companion and other women; funny how that didn’t occur to you.

          Like ? Reply ? 5 ? Apr 16, 2015 5:48am

          This has been a great Friday.

          1. Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally walked through a portal to Bizarro Earth.

            1. Oh shit, did you see that there’s something called “AM Links” too?

              1. Does Nick have a beard in this universe?

                  1. Holy fuck, it’s true! How do I get back to my reality? I knew something was wrong!

          2. “I love it. When she pops up in NYC I’ll go down just to pay the full price. (father of three girls)”

            If he also passes up raises and promotions for fairness then I feel bad for his family.

            1. “Sorry girls, no Christmas gifts this year because I’m dedicated to keeping us poor in order to perpetually check my privilege. But I’m building a better world for you, don’t worry!”

            2. (father of 3 girls) … and husband to a loathsome shrew who’s probably fucking half your coworkers.

          3. Ok, my wife makes 50% more than I do and is currently on week 4 of her 12 week paid maternity leave. Am I doing privilege wrong?

            1. Nah, you’re good.

              You’ve got a woman supporting you, right?

    5. Wasn’t there a bake sale where they charged less to minorities etc to highlight that some people are favored. And it was shut down. Texas I think

  35. Someone offered me Caps playoff tickets for a price. I refused on the grounds that I can’t support Caps’ mediocrity. Am I intolerant of NHl playoffs or just bad hockey?

    1. That’s a yes to both, John.

      /Welch

    2. Well, I do know that I’m intolerant of tortured, nonsensical analogies.

      1. Being completely humorless probably doesn’t help

        1. John FTW. I laughed.

    3. No, they offered you Islanders tickets.

  36. So how long before Hillary starts to only do public appearances with handpicked Democratic superfans in a Faraday cage?

    1. As soon as her make believe Facebook old biddy army fails to show up.

    2. I thought that was what she is doing now.

  37. “Mike Huckabee plans to announce his presidential intentions this evening. “

    If he does not play a bass-solo version of “In a gadda da vida” during his announcement, I will unfortunately be unable to vote for him.

    1. If he had done it to Groove is the Heart even I would vote for him

    2. We, as a nation, need to do whatever it takes to get more family photos with his wife choking the shit out of a cartoonish dog.

      1. There are like a dozen things wrong with that picture.

        some of them are glandular.

        others involve men in matching striped shirts. with… elbow….things……

        I’m feeling a lot of David Lynch in that photo.

      2. God, that’s a fat family. Even with the slimming vertical stripes and convenient gunt-obscuring dog.

        1. I have so much more respect for proper rednecks than i do for Arkansas gentry.

          they’re just creepy.

  38. It’s a nation tragedy

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..-confirms/

  39. Today in vehicular accidents I’m glad I’m not a part of:

    Truck Spill From Hell Dumps Millions of Bees Onto the Highway

    I like bees, but wouldn’t want to be anywhere near this thing.

    1. Beeware, bee awake, bee alert, bee alive.

      1. To bee or not to bee

    2. “VIDEO: Crews round up millions of bees after semi crash”

      What? How….. smoke…… boxes….

      that local-news guy seems pleased as punch with the whole deal. this is what local-news lives for. The Bee-crash

      1. To local news, stories like this are as sweet as honey from the comb.

    3. I heard about that story earlier today. It’s generating a lot of buzz.

      1. Sting is doing a benefit concert.

      2. *narrows gaze*

        1. Contracting eyes? Sounds like the beginning of anaphylaxis. Use your epi-pen!

          1. I will not be injecting myself with anything Episiarch related. THANK YOU VERY MUCH

          2. epi already used his pen on your mom.

      3. Hive never seen anything like that!

  40. Congress’ Watchdog Doesn’t Think America Can Afford the F-35

    As a result, the report reads like a letter from a spouse to a partner who chronically overspends and starts projects it can’t finish. The watchdog even warned that if the military doesn’t get on top of its spending, it may run out of money.

  41. I’m going to repeat myself yesterday and dredge up a piece of pop culture talk from the AM Links to share my appreciation for a gorgeous woman: I’ve been slowly catching up with Vikings, due to the love it gets here. I’m nearly done with the second season and don’t really love it – I like some characters and some set pieces, but it’s still pretty hokey and often misses the mark when it aims for pathos – but that Katheryn Winnick…

    Yowza bo-bowza!

    I don’t think anyone has pulled off sexy valkyrie badass like that.

    1. Lovely lady, but woman playing Valeria in Conan The Barbarian (can’t be arced to google her name) would break her in half with a raised eyebrow.

  42. The watchdog even warned that if the military doesn’t get on top of its spending, it may run out of money.

    “I’ve got plenty of checks. Stop being such a silly goose!”

    1. It does make one wonder why the military doesn’t push for pillage-based funding.

      1. Wasn’t that the exact plan in Iraq? “The oil revenues alone will make it profitable.”

        1. I don’t recall us actually seizing the oil wells. Which is where we went wrong. Seriously, if we have to invade to correct your crazy country, naturally we’ll seek recompense.

      2. Pillage based funding? Police departments have done that for years.

        1. In the law, we call that precedent.

  43. The Becket Fund for Religious Liberty and Seventh Day Adventist leaders file a Supreme Court brief asking that if they’re going to impose same-sex marriage on the country, they at least do it in way that doesn’t endanger religious freedom:

    http://www.supremecourt.gov/Ob…..ntists.pdf

    1. tl;dr version:

      http://www.becketfund.org/wp-c…..rtroom.pdf

  44. Bush. Clinton. Christie. Now Huckabee. Holy crap.

    Every presidential election brings out all of the has-beens who are still narcissistic enough to think they can win. The only people I see this time who are capable of generating any kind of enthusiasm are Paul and Cruz. Everyone else is just more of the same ol’ shit that everyone is past being sick of. It is pathetic, really.

    1. I wish there were a way to run a fictional candidate, at least for a while. I’d like to run the Urkobold for the Democratic nomination.

      1. Black Mirror: The Waldo Experiment

  45. ETHPN fireth Lou Holtth:

    Longtime college football analytht Lou Holtth ith leaving ETHPN

    I thertainly will mitth hith commentary on Thaturdayth thith fall.

    1. Well played.

  46. Headlines you never expected to see:

    Green group praises Bush on climate remarks

    But then you read the article and realize, “its tom steyer and his political machine trying to keep *itself* in the news”

  47. I had Founder’s KBS earlier tonight, both the 2014 and the 2015 editions. It’s a very good beer.

    I’m going to be working very late tonight. I’m continuing to ease the pain with Franziskaner Dunkel Wei?.

    I discovered that Kloster Andechs now distributes to the United States.

    I’ve barely made a dent on recent threads, though I saw Tulpa shat on the FATCA thread.

    What are you drinking?

  48. So I check in on the posse rocket and yet another fucking scribematicon is penning the Huck font and does this keyboard jockey (all perfunctory cock sucking asides, Tucci) think that a million cliffs the universe over aren’t screaming like the most horribe fucking stupendous infant for the assbutt of Huck to be tossed over their edges?

    I thought not. Cliffs love Huck because cliffs love fat religion fucks screaming from their ledges…. if you were a rugged fucking stony goddamn cliff bored for centuries you’d yearn for Hucks…

    Tho, this is metaphor because as much as I want the goddamn whore spirit of the man splattered in the bottom of the deepest canyon he is kind of a sweetheart as a human fuck…. Huck, don’t get power- you’d fuck up this place as bad as that fucking community-planner bitch with the black wife I want sitting on my shiny white dick…. just sayin Huck…

  49. I do not believe huckabee.

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