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A.M. Links: Rand Paul Attacks Media Bias, Obama Supports Ban on Conversion Therapy for Minors, Cop Who Shot Unarmed South Carolina Man Had Previous Excessive Force Complaint

Damon Root | 4.9.2015 9:00 AM

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  • Credit: C-SPAN

    GOP presidential candidate Rand Paul accused television anchor Savannah Guthrie of "editorializing" and asking biased questions during a contentious Today show interview.

  • Michael Thomas Slager, the white South Carolina police officer currently facing murder charges for shooting an unarmed black man in the back, was previously accused of using excessive force against another unarmed black man in 2013.
  • "The Baltimore Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device thousands of times in recent years while following instructions from the FBI to withhold information about it from prosecutors and judges, a detective revealed in court testimony Wednesday."
  • In a statement posted on the White House website, the Obama administration has endorsed a ban on "conversion therapy" for minors, a procedure which the statement defines as "any practices by mental health providers that seek to change an individual's sexual orientation or gender identity."
  • A high-ranking Secret Service supervisor has been put on administrative leave over "allegations of misconduct and potential criminal activity." According to a female employee, the supervisor sexually assaulted her.
  • A gunman opened fire inside a courtroom in Italy's Palace of Justice in Milan, killing at least two, including a bankruptcy court judge.

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NEXT: University of Michigan Relents, Will Show American Sniper as Originally Planned. And Paddington Too!

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Just a thought not a sermon   10 years ago

    40) What is welfare for? Is it to provide a backstop for people facing hard times, so they don’t starve and can pay the bills until they’re on their feet again? Maybe it’s to ensure children grow up in a household with some stability, even if the parents have some bad luck. Perhaps you imagine welfare recipients using their money to buy some groceries, fill up the car, get the kids a new pair of shoes, or pay the electricity bill. But what if you saw a welfare recipient cash his check, then spend it on a big steak dinner and a night at the strip club, with the remainder going to lottery tickets and liquor? You’d feel they betrayed your generosity, right? I doubt you’d want your tax dollars supporting their frivolous lifestyle. Not surprisingly, the state governments of Kansas and Missouri feel the same way. Well, progressives think you should just suck it up andlet the deadbeats do whatever with taxpayer cash. I’ve seen several editorials on this topic over the past few days. Admittedly I’ve linked here to the most clueless one I could find?Dana Milbank simply doesn’t see how people could object to welfare recipients using taxpayer money on steak or cruises?but he’s only slightly more unhinged than the others. Remember, this is what progressives actually believe.

    1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

      In some respects, I really don’t care what welfare recipients buy with their checks. However, there should be some kind of means testing going on: if you can afford to buy a steak dinner and a night at the strip club, then I think it is reasonable to assume there is another source of income.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Hello.

      Just heard this conversation on the radio:

      Radio host: Who should pay for the damages in acts of vandalism on school property by anti-austerity student protestors? Should it be taxpayers?

      Stupid student: Well, er, um, like, yeah. They’re paying for it already.

      We’re in deep doo-doo.

      1. Zeb   10 years ago

        So “austerity” now means any budget cuts to anything at all, right?

    3. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      welfare “donations” are coerced out of taxpayers. That is the real problem. Progressives are welcome to donate to whoever the f*** they want, and leave us selfish people alone.

    4. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      Last night I linked to an article by Matt Breunig where he argues we should give every American $300 for Christmas shopping. He says this would ‘only’ cost $60 billion, so what’s the big deal?

      His argument, in all seriousness, is that some people are sad because they can’t buy their kids the presents they want and this also hurts kids’ self-esteem.

      1. gaijin   10 years ago

        We should buy each of these sad people a trip to Mumbai or Bangalore…then they can come back and shut the f* up.

        1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

          Kabul.

          1. gaijin   10 years ago

            even better

        2. Seamus   10 years ago

          They won’t shut up. They’ll have an epiphany in which they realize that American taxpayers should provide $300 to everyone in the third world too, so *they* can buy their kids Christmas (or Divali, or Eid, or whatever) presents, lest they suffer from low self-esteem.

      2. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

        Funny how the Bruenigs never seem to stop and tell people not to have kids if they can’t actually make them happy.

        1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

          I also found a blogging heads video with both Breunigs before they were married where they argue the US government should give people money to have children.

          We’ll give you money when you have kids, then when you can’t afford them we’ll pay for all the child’s food, medical care, schooling, and Christmas presents.

          1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

            Sometimes one can only pray for parricide.

          2. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

            Plus, do they not know that we do give people money for having children? Fucking a.

            1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

              I’m going to break you mentally, Nicole.

              At one point, Matt Breunig started arguing that property rights don’t exist because they’re socially constructed, therefore when he argues about raising taxes, he isn’t trying to take money from you, he’s just saying less money should be distributed to you.

              He basically said not taking is giving without a hint of irony.

              1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

                Wealth is distributed, not created, hence the fact that we all have the same total amount of wealth as small bands of hunter-gatherers had thousands of years ago.

              2. GILMORE   10 years ago

                ” property rights don’t exist because they’re socially constructed”

                I presume they extend this observation to everything else in the universe, like race and religion, right?

            2. SugarFree   10 years ago

              Look at it this way, when Matt Breuning’s limp cock and torpid sperm finally get ESB pregnant, at least she’ll go be a good little housewife and shut up for a few years, at least until the book about how awesome it is to be a housewife who takes fistfuls of pills and Jesus to keep from killing herself and her unterkids.

              1. Andrew S.   10 years ago

                Of all the things you’ve ever posted, SF, this might be the most disgusting.

                1. SugarFree   10 years ago

                  Did you see the one yesterday about Hillary?

                  1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

                    I SHAN’T BE READING THAT, THEN, SHALL I?

                    1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

                      I partially blame Epi, who encouraged SugarFree. But it was SugarFree’s second post about the… subject, which had me apply the mind bleach to erase what I had seen.

                  2. db   10 years ago

                    Posto el linko?

        2. tarran   10 years ago

          Consider what it would be like to be their child….

      3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        “$300? You do realize I have six kids right?”

        1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

          Guy shot in my neighborhood yesterday morning (actually two guys). Dude had nine kids. That’s fucked up. Guy in Maryland had his power shut off. He buys a generator and then runs it inside his kitchen. He and his eight kids die of CO2 poisoning, which is tragic. Why do poor people have so many kids? And if you have money to buy a generator, why not use it to pay your electric bill?

          1. Andrew S.   10 years ago

            Having lived with a generator for a bit post-hurricane, it cost me more to keep a generator running (air conditioning, fridge, and a couple of other things) than my monthly power bill would have been for that time.

            1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

              That an you had to go fill the fucker up with gas at 3am.

              We had a generator after Hurricane Andrew. It nowhere nearly powered the house. More like a few lights, a couple of ceiling fans, a freezer and a fridge. No ACs or anything that luxurious.

              1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

                I sell generators. Most people have no clue how electricity is generated or gets to those little holes in your wall, let alone how a portable generator works.

          2. MJGreen   10 years ago

            If a generator were the more economic option, everyone would get their electric from generators rather than the grid. I assume the guy had a lot of accumulated fees and penalties to pay on his electric bill, making the generator appear cheaper in the short term, but still.

            That it killed himself and his progeny… Darwin striking with a vengeance. Very sad.

          3. BigT   10 years ago

            He and his eight kids die of CO2 poisoning

            Global warming, what can’t it do?

            1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

              I ment Carbon Monoxide.

          4. Zeb   10 years ago

            Sad. But how do people not know that running a gas engine inside is a bad idea? You’d think that the smell and noise would be enough to convince you of that even if you don’t know what CO poisoning is.

            I suppose if it was in an apartment, they didn’t have a place outside to put it.

            And if you have money to buy a generator, why not use it to pay your electric bill?

            It’s an unpopular thing to say. But a lot of people who are poor are poor for a reason. And that reason is often making lots of bad decisions.

      4. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        He’s obviously bigoted against non-Christians.

      5. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

        What to do, what to do? One $300 hookerbot or three hundred $1 hookerbots?

        1. greasonable (was sthgrau)   10 years ago

          +300 Tricky Dick Fun Bills!

      6. MJGreen   10 years ago

        Christ, “only” $60 billion… every year? That would be something like 5x what is spent on NASA?

    5. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      If you’re on welfare, chances are you’ve made some bad decisions and continue to make them. I’m guessing a small percentage of people are actually on welfare because they chose not to.

      /scrapes callous from hand.

    6. Masturbatin' Pete   10 years ago

      Once you decide that you’re going to give welfare in form of housing vouchers, food stamps, or anything else that isn’t equivalent to cash,* you have conceded that the state/taxpayers should have some say in how recipients spend that money. At that point we’re just debating where to draw the line between permissible and impermissible use of food stamps, and it’s not unfathomably unjust or cruel for me to say “no lobster” if you’re saying “no gin.”

      Except some on the left think that you’re some sort of inhuman monster if you don’t allow alcoholics to buy booze with food stamps. No, seriously.

      *It’s not difficult to convert food stamps to cash, but it takes some effort.

      1. Masturbatin' Pete   10 years ago

        Having said that, i will say that my preferred welfare program would involve straight cash payments, mostly for efficiency purposes: “Here’s your money. It’s enough to get by on if you live frugally, even if you can’t find work for a while.” But beyond that, tough shit.

        1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

          Cut out the bureaucracy with welfare payments, and we’ve done ourselves a great service.

      2. Michael Ejercito   10 years ago

        Did you leave a comment?

  2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    GOP presidential candidate Rand Paul accused television anchor Savannah Guthrie of “editorializing” and asking biased questions during a contentious Today show interview.

    The Gingrich maneuver.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   10 years ago

      FoE, why you so slow?

      1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

        He still wins: convention is that to count as “first” the comment must refer to one of the A.M. links.

        1. Just a thought not a sermon   10 years ago

          Those are like other peoples links, man. I gots to be me.

          1. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

            And the driver who ran a NASCAR race clockwise said that too…once.

        2. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

          I don’t know. I think that “convention” was an invention by FOE himself.

          If you want HyR to stay vibrant, you have to tell the truth. You can’t keep covering up for Fist. No shame in aging, but he (and all of us) have to come to grips with the reality that he can no longer type and click with the younger kids.

          1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

            The real convention should be that it only counts as being first if no one every mentions it.

            And yeah, Fist created that himself.

            1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

              Another convention should be EDIT BUTTON

              1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

                NO EDIT BUTTON

                I don’t want people like Bo to be able to walk back their racism. Just proofread your shit.

                1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

                  There are thousands of websites that effectively deal with that objection in various ways. Show that it’s been edited, have an option to show prior version, have a timeout on how long you have to edit, don’t allow editing once someone replies, etc. It’s trivially easy to address this concern, you just need to put 10 seconds into it.

                  Besides, you should have Bo blocked anyway.

                  1. Citizen Nothing   10 years ago

                    The winner should be the first one to obsessively mention Bo.

                    1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

                      Speaking of Bo, I haven’t seen him around the AM links lately. Does he show up later?

              2. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

                Nay! Your shame should stand, immutable and historic, for all to see, for every and every.

          2. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

            I declare the winner: me! By the rules that I made.

            It’s like playing dominoes with my old man.

          3. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

            I don’t know. I think that “convention” was an invention by FOE himself.

            Yes, but it’s a good convention, because it keeps idiots from posting “First!!1” every morning.

            1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

              No, it just transfers the idiocy to the replies.

  3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

    The Baltimore Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device thousands of times in recent years

    +1 Avon Barksdale.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   10 years ago

      You win old man, you win.

    2. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

      The Baltimore Every major Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device thousands of times in recent years.

      “Baltimore is just the silly fuck who’s gonna ruin it for us!”

      /CopDerp

  4. Certified Public Asskicker   10 years ago

    “The Baltimore Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device thousands of times in recent years while following instructions from the FBI to withhold information about it from prosecutors and judges, a detective revealed in court testimony Wednesday.”

    The Wire already did it.

    1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

      You lose, CPA, you lose. (sfx: Nelson Muntz “HA-ha!”)

  5. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    The Baltimore Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device

    I’ll save you millions of dollars, Baltimore. It’s between the couch cushions. That’s where it always is.

  6. Steve G   10 years ago

    Like a broken watch,
    NPR occasionally displays the truth

    That’s why 38-year-old Duquense Fednard is bringing a for-profit electricity company to Tuffet. He says Haiti can’t survive on philanthropy alone.

    Like Fednard, Shell subscribes to the same philosophy when it comes to economic aid: A handout is not going to help.

    1. Steve G   10 years ago

      damn it
      http://www.npr.org/blogs/goats…..pay-for-it

      1. Cyto   10 years ago

        The last line is a killer. He can’t get pay as you go meters, so his project is not going to succeed. So the town won’t have electricity.

        I am always surprised at how inept aid programs are. If they had simply spent all of the disaster aid on water, sewer and electric services they’d be way ahead of the game.

        It must be a lot harder than even us cynics must be able to imagine to get people yi work together.

        1. BigT   10 years ago

          When I heard this on NPR this am, there was a followup phone call with the guy and he had generator(s) running.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Luddite Mark Ruffalo says SMASH!

  7. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    …following instructions from the FBI to withhold information about it from prosecutors and judges, a detective revealed in court testimony Wednesday.

    I can’t imagine prosecutors care too much, but judges and defense attorneys might have a problem with it.

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      Convict government agents of perjury?

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!

      1. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

        I don’t think that they will convict any govt agents of perjury.

        I do think though that a lot of convictions are going to be thrown out once the courts figure out how pervasive this shit was.

        I know judges are pretty prickly about their prerogatives and I can’t believe they are going to let a company’s NDA set the precedent that it is OK to withhold evidence.

        1. Cyto   10 years ago

          Maybe…. But remember Dr. Hayne….

  8. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    asking biased questions during a contentious Today show interview.

    What better way to prepare for the debates?

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      I must say, Paul’s response to the insane abortion question…and the deranged responses of DNC flacks to his response…has been a refreshing and entertaining start to 2016!

  9. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Dave Weigel, aka Palin’s Buttplug, The Self-Appointed Poster Child Of ‘Integrity,’ Urges Rolling Stone Writer To Resign
    …For one thing, he was secretly conspiring with fellow liberal journalists to organize news coverage in the nation’s major publications. Ding! Ding! That’s not so kosher in the world of journalism. He wanted Matt Drudge to die in a fire. He referred to “Ron Paul fanatics” as “Paultards” and he encouraged his fellow liberal journalists not to follow up on “hot hot” scoops by Washington Examiner’s Byron York.”

    This one’s not so much offensive as it was laugh until your stomach hurts. He scolded the Washington Examiner for covering his dancing at a wedding. The headline: “Weigel Likes To Waggle, Sweat.” He called for everyone in the world to block then-gossip writer Tara Palmeri for writing it.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      What Weigel fails to disclose outright in his call for Erdely to quit is that after his valiant resignation, it’s not like he went off to a mountainside in Tibet to reflect on what he’d done wrong or began tirelessly volunteering at soup kitchens. He quickly went to work for Slate, which, at the time, was owned by WaPo. So his whole resignation was kind of meaningless all around.

      He went on to lie about who actually broke the story of those emails, which was yours truly, followed up by more extensive coverage by my current employer….

      1. Mike M.   10 years ago

        Don’t encourage the shithead to show up here. The last couple of days have actually been kind of nice.

        1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

          There was one comment on that article. Was that you?

          Calling Weigel scum is an insult to scum. His entire career and public persona revolves around pretending to be something that he isn’t; a strategy he learned from his journalistic mentor Andrew Sullivan.

          He also has the very annoying habit of sockpuppet trolling. He does this all the time at Reason, which he monitors close to 24 hours a day. He is likely still bitter that got fired from there by Editor in Chief Matt Welch.

          1. Mike M.   10 years ago

            Yes.

            1. Zeb   10 years ago

              What reason do you have to believe that Buttplug is Weigel? Genuinely curious.

              Seems like ridiculous paranoia to me, but perhaps you know something I don’t.

              1. Mike M.   10 years ago

                We’ve already gone through all this again and again and again, but in case you really don’t know:

                1) He’s the only person who likes calling people he doesn’t like “ratfuckers”. Nobody else ever uses this word, and it’s pretty much his favorite word.

                2) He often posts the same exact stupid shit on his Twitter feed as he does here, and sometimes he even slips up and does it at the same exact time. He did it when Philip Seymour Hoffman died, and he did it again recently with the announcement of the guy who’s taking over Jon Stewart’s crappy show.

                3) This is his entire M.O.: pretending to be something that he isn’t while pushing his agenda. It’s what he does for a living! He pretended to be a libertarian in order to get his job here at Reason, and he pretended to be a conservative in order to get his initial job at the Washington Post.

                1. Zeb   10 years ago

                  Well, still sounds like ridiculous paranoia to me.

                  Also, why the fuck do you care?

                2. Antilles   10 years ago

                  Wasn’t aware of this (admittedly circumstantial) evidence. Thanks for taking the time to fill in those of us who didn’t know these facts.

                  1. tarran   10 years ago

                    Mike’s argument means nothing.

                    Shriek was posting here back when Wiegel was on staff, and was just as deranged then.

                    Shriek is not sentient. Shriek doesn’t fuck up and let the mask slip; there is no mask.

                    It submits comments that its degraded neural net predicts will elicit responses. That it parrots elements of Wiegel’s twitter feed is merely happenstance. Wiegel’s commentary will piss off a lot of Reason readers, and so whenever Shriek submits a few snippets that Wiegel once wrote, it harvests a nourishing crop of vitriolic responses.

                    Anyone who thinks Wiegel actually is going to waste his time obsessively stalking these boards while also hammering out the essays he produces in his day job is seriously unhinged.

      2. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        Post blogger Weigel likes to waggle, sweat
        …After the WaPo blogger was seen challenging the 4-year-old ring bearer in a dance-off, an attendee asked him about his wild and crazy dancing style, to which he responded, “Well, it’s a safe space.”

        Weigel told Yeas & Nays he danced alone because his girlfriend wasn’t there, she lives in Canada Alaska. …

        1. Rhywun   10 years ago

          “It’s physically impossible to remain still when ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’ is playing.”

          God damn it. Now it will be physically impossible to refrain from picturing Buttplug waggling to this whenever it comes up on my iPod.

          1. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

            “Every time I see you dancing, I get down on my knees and pray”

            1. Rhywun   10 years ago

              “Every time I see you dancing, I get down on my knees and pray spew”

              New version.

              1. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

                Shot right through with a bolt of blue.

    2. bacon-magic   10 years ago

      Buttplug is a liberal journalist(=propagandist)??? No wonder I feel this loathing rising up in me every time I partially read one of his comments.

  10. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Feds Consider Puerto Ricans Disabled Because They Speak Spanish

    The Social Security Administration (SSA) approved disability benefits for hundreds of Puerto Ricans because they do not speak English, despite the fact that Puerto Rico is a predominantly Spanish-speaking territory.

    According to a new audit by the Office of Inspector General (OIG), the agency is misapplying rules that are intended to provide financial assistance to individuals who are illiterate or cannot speak English in the United States. Under the rules, Puerto Ricans are allowed to receive disability benefits for their inability to speak English as well.

    What next? Canadians receive disability for speaking Canuckian?

    1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

      If I come in yodeling in Swiss German, can I haz benefits?

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        Gr?? Di Gott!

        Swiss “German”, you mean.

        1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

          Ich sprech’ Confederatio Helvetica!

      2. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        Nein! Nein! Nein!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      Bureaucratic empire building at its finest.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        “I took Spanish, I figure the Puerto Ricans can learn it, how tough can it be?”
        — Bobby Slayton

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

          “This is an intellectual town, I enjoy coming here. Things are always happening to me up here that are just so above everything else. Like before the show, I was standing backstage and a couple came back, and they asked me if I was bi. And, well, I studied a little Spanish in high school, but not enough to really be bi, but I didn’t want to look stupid, so I said, ‘Yeah, I’m bi,’ and they said, ‘Well we’d like you to come over after the show cause we have some S&M people coming over,’ and I said, ‘Hey great, Spaniards and Mexicans.’ So it’ll be interesting to go there after the show, speak a little Spanish, and have the intellectual thing.”

          – Steve Martin

          1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            +1 White Suit

          2. bacon-magic   10 years ago

            “Can I be excused to relieve myself?”

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Slayton was (is?) an MC at the ‘Nasty Show’ during the Just for Laughs festival in Montreal.

          And boy was he nasty. That was the point – and we loved it.

          Seems not everyone did and some took to complaining if you could believe it.

          IT’S THE FUCKING NASTY SHOW. What did you expect? Pink ribbons and polite pillow talk?

          1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

            Bring the kids?

      2. BigT   10 years ago

        I demand reparations for all my forefathers and foremothers (?) who sufffered for generations without being able to speak proper English.

        About $10 mil should cover it.

    3. Rich   10 years ago

      The agency does not currently have a system in place to keep track of the number of beneficiaries who receive disability insurance for not being able to speak English.

      Then shut that agency down.

    4. Steve G   10 years ago

      Okay, okay, the disability industrial complex just jumped the freaking shark with this one.
      Just when I was starting to think I was disabled for not speaking Spanish in northern Virginia, this comes along.

    5. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

      …approved disability benefits for hundreds of Puerto Ricans because they do not speak English, despite the fact that Puerto Rico is a predominantly Spanish-speaking territory

      That it makes a difference what the predominant language is when determining if someone is disabled is bad enough. I imagine Barbara fucking Walters is disabled too?

    6. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

      Me no spek Enlis to good. Me want gubmint chek.

    7. Zeb   10 years ago

      What the fuck?

      If you are illiterate and can’t communicate because you are retarded or brain injured or something fine. If not, learn fucking English. Or don’t if you live in PR and can speak Spanish.

  11. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

    previously accused of using excessive force against another unarmed black man in 2013.

    Solution: The Armed Negro Act of 2015. Every black person is given a government-paid-for gun. The size of the gun is related to the darkness of the recipient’s skin. Now, when a cop shoots someone, their union can crow that, “Well, the guy was armed!”

  12. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

    Root is editorializing the alt-text.

    1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

      He is Othering it!

  13. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    How Deep Is This Education Official’s Involvement In The Rolling Stone Hoax?
    A top-ranking official at the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has emerged as a potentially key figure in Rolling Stone’s false article, “A Rape on Campus.”…

    …Catherine Lhamon, who heads the Department’s civil rights wing, was identified in a letter sent last month by University of Virginia Dean of Students Allen Groves to Steve Coll and Sheila Coronel, the two Columbia Journalism School deans who conducted a review of the Nov. 19 article, written by disgraced reporter Sabrina Rubin Erdely….

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Grab its mother f***ing pension!

    2. gaijin   10 years ago

      Of course the administration is involved…it’s Potemkin narratives all the way down.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      My God, these extreme right-wing blogs and their insistence to investigate. It’s too bad because people are missing the point about all this. Rape on campus is REAL. Made with 12% ‘real’ juice.

  14. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Canadian road rager terrorizes family with chainsaw, faces armed assault charges

    That’s when Delisle got out of his car, pulled a chainsaw from rear and revved it up outside the family’s minivan, a frightening sight that scared the children in a video Cyr first posted to Facebook.

    “You like that, huh?” Delisle said in French.

    The children can be heard screaming: “Mom!”

    1. Bam!   10 years ago

      Ban chainsaws.

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        There’s no good reason to have a chainsaw with a blade longer than 10 inches.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

          Other than that tree with a 4 foot diameter over there

          1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            There’s no good reason to have trees larger than those which a government approved 10″ chainsaw may be used to cut down.

            We clearly need a new arboreal-oriented agency to monitor and approve not only chainsaws but trees and flora larger than the average bush.
            We must have reasonable chainsaw laws and, of course, a chainsaw registry to keep track of the permits.

            For the children.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      Ban arms

    3. Rich   10 years ago

      Ban French.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Dude. I like, posted this, like two days ago.

      And also, it’s better in French!

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        I can’t keep track of all your Canadian wheeling and dealing.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          TABERNAK!

      2. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

        You know what else was better in French?

        1. hamilton   10 years ago

          Kissing?

          1. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

            You BASTARD.

            1. hamilton   10 years ago

              Le parfait est ce qui n’est plus ? refaire

        2. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

          Kissing?

        3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Bleu Nuit with Emanuelle?

        4. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

          Coldwave?

        5. Atanarjuat   10 years ago

          The Count of Monte Cristo movie?

        6. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

          Now I am thinking of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpLMnk2qi8o

          1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            The Universal Language.

        7. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

          Fries?

    5. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Ban Ban Boners.

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        Jar Jar Binks.

    6. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

      Personally I’d have run that fucker over with my multi-ton mini-van, but that’s just me.

  15. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Iran sends navy vessels to waters off Yemen, raising stakes

    Iran dispatched a destroyer and another naval ship to waters off Yemen on Wednesday, raising the stakes amid a Saudi-led air campaign targeting Iranian-backed Shiite rebels fighting forces loyal to the country’s embattled president.

    The Iranian maneuver came as the U.S. deepened its support for the Saudi-led coalition, boosting weapons supplies and intelligence-sharing and carrying out the first U.S. aerial refueling mission of coalition fighter jets.

    The Iranian warships were sent to the strategic Bab al-Mandab strait as part of an anti-piracy campaign to “safeguard naval routes for vessels in the region,” Iranian Rear Adm. Habibollah Sayyari was quoted as saying by the English-language state broadcaster Press TV.

    1. The DerpRider   10 years ago

      Is an Iranian warship a pontoon boat with a couple of guys holding rifles?

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        Basically, I believe they’re torpedoes with steering wheels and a crew.

    2. Don Mynack   10 years ago

      Anybody else think this “insurgency” is CIA payback for Saudi dumping too much oil on the market? It would be a shame if they had to scale back if their oil producing region (right near Yemen, conveniently) was threatened. A real, real shame.

      1. tarran   10 years ago

        Anybody else think this “insurgency” is CIA payback for Saudi dumping too much oil on the market?

        ?!?

        The Saudi’s dumping oil on the market is squeezing Iran and Russia’s access to export markets. Why would the CIA be angry about that?

        1. WTF   10 years ago

          Why would the CIA Obama Administration be angry about that?

          Hmmmmm…….*adjusts tinfoil hat*

        2. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

          Exactly. Pretty sure the oil glut was done in cooperation with the Obama Administration to put the hurt on Pooty and Iran.

          1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

            I believe you are placing way, way (way,way,way,…) too much confidence in the competence or capability of the OA.

            They read about it in the paper.

            1. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

              I didn’t say it was Obama himself. Despite evidence to the contrary (especially in my workplace), not all Obama cronies are dumbshits.

              1. bacon-magic   10 years ago

                I think you are on to something, imo it is the long term big cheeses(cia,nsa,fbi,irs,nba,nfl,nbc…you know, the one’s that run things without public approval)

  16. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

    No furry mascot is safe!

    Japanese Finance ministry asks local governments to make least cost-effective of their cuddly yuru-kyara characters redundant

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      Japan’s estimated 1,500 cuddly mascots are to be found in practically every walk of life, from the military and police to the tax office and political parties.

      That’s what we need in the US! Cuddly mascots for *everything*!

      1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

        We must not allow a cuddly mascot gap!

        1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

          Maybe if we made government officials show up to work ‘fursuited’ on special occasions (Fridays?).

          Something about yiffing belongs here.

    2. greasonable (was sthgrau)   10 years ago

      I, for one, welcome our cuddle mascot overlords!

  17. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Elizabeth Warren Is Wrong About Social Security

    Social Security has a long-term funding gap that just keeps growing. Neither political party has a plan to pay for the promises we’ve already made to people contributing to the system. But Democrats are bringing a new idea to the table: make even more promises.

    Almost all Senate Democrats have lined up behind a proposal by Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts and Joe Manchin of West Virginia to expand benefits for current retirees. Liberals are exulting that Warren has shifted the politics of Social Security to the left: Where once we were debating cutbacks to the program, now we’re debating benefit increases. Too bad that also means the debate is shifting further away from fiscal reality.

    1. Drake   10 years ago

      Spend / promise more is a new idea?

    2. straffinrun   10 years ago

      It’s not insurance, it’s a tax. It’s not a tax, you’ve paid into it. I’m confused, is Wednesday or Thursday?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        According to progressive orthodoxy, it’s not Thursday if you feel it’s Friday.

      2. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        It’s a PONZI SCHEME!

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          I always felt the days of the week were privileged misogynistic patriarchal thingys.

          1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            Well, except for Sun-day and Moon-day for they were named after Roman gods and then renamed after Norse gods:

            http://www.pantheon.org/miscel….._days.html

            1. WTF   10 years ago

              And “Saturn’s -day”.

              1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

                Sarurn was a god too.

                1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

                  Saturn.

                  Dang it.

      3. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

        It is whatever day you need it to be and definitely NOT any day that harms your argument of the moment.

    3. TwB   10 years ago

      Fiscal reality? In DC? Hah!

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Headline coulda stopped at ‘Elizabeth Warren – the Indian – is wrong.’

      1. bacon-magic   10 years ago

        Her official faux-native-american name is “Squaw Snake Tongue who charms the lemmings” of the WASP Progtard Washington tribe.

  18. Ted S.   10 years ago

    In a statement posted on the White House website, the Obama administration has endorsed a ban on “conversation therapy” for minors,

    I think you mean “conversion therapy”. Conversation therapy would be just talking with a head-shrinker.

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      Serious question…who would enforce such a ban? DHS, HHS, EPA, DoEd?

      1. Ivan Pike   10 years ago

        FDA – “medical treatment”

      2. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

        The same as with every other government edict: men with guns.

        From which department these men loom matters not.

    2. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

      Ted, if you email the writers to let them know there’s a typo, you don’t look like a crazy man after they correct them.

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        But memorializing it here allows us to remind the writers of their fallibility.

        That we can also use it to mock Ted is just a bonus.

    3. Michael Ejercito   10 years ago

      So Obama is against sex conversion therapy for minors, the same kind of therapy Bradley Manning is seeking.

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        Is Chelsea Manning a lesbian?

        I’m so fucking confused.

  19. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Exclusive: New Ted Cruz Super-PACs Take in Record Haul

    Ted Cruz’s presidential effort is getting into the shock-and-awe fundraising business.

    An associate of the Texas senator, a recently announced presidential candidate, tells Bloomberg that a cluster of affiliated super-political action committees was formed only this week, and among them they are expected to have $31 million in the bank by Friday.

    Even in the context of a presidential campaign cycle in which the major party nominees are expected to raise more than $1.5 billion, Cruz’s haul is eye-popping, one that instantly raises the stakes in the Republican fundraising contest.

    1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

      The left will never let this one go. It will be to the left what abortion is on the right.

      And this is after they fully admit that money has little to do with winning, and that their side engages in it MORE than the people they bitch about.

  20. Rich   10 years ago

    Woman charged with goldfish mass murder facing felony cruelty charge for bleach killing spree

    *Florida* Woman!

    1. Steve G   10 years ago

      Soooo, when I move this summer, I can’t flush our worthless cichlid down the fucking toilet before emptying the aquarium??? Or do I just need to not do it w/ malice? Will a ceremony get me off the hook w/ johnny law? so confused

      1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

        Let it swim free in a nearby pond, lake or river!

        1. gaijin   10 years ago

          +1 Asian Carp

        2. Steve G   10 years ago

          Even my 8 yr old is like, ‘whatever dad, you’re the only one that feeds it’

      2. bacon-magic   10 years ago

        “off the hook”, I see what you did there…

    2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      That had to be pretty unpleasant for the fish.

  21. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Writer for Ms. magazine slams My Little Pony for perceived racism, homophobia, and “smart shaming” (that means teasing someone for being smart):

    http://msmagazine.com/blog/201…..ming-pony/

    So overall, these are the lessons My Little Pony teaches girls:
    Magical white ponies are suited for leadership; black ponies are suited to be servants.
    Stop learning! You will overcome any obstacle by resorting to strength in numbers (of friends).
    Girls that wear rainbows are butch.
    You need the government (ideally a monarch invested with supreme ultimate power and a phallic symbol strapped to her forehead) to tell you what to do with your life.

    1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      If she gets this wound up about My Little Pony, she’d probably stroke out over GI Joe.

      The creator of MLP defended her creation:

      http://msmagazine.com/blog/201…..-rebuttal/

    2. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

      You need the government…to tell you what to do with your life.

      They want to be the ones who impart this lesson.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Derp, I watched that CEDA link you sent yesterday. Man, what a cunt that guy was. He sounds like Toby Radloff from American Splendor. Then I went around looking and found this from 1994:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7L5N3Jvg8A

      1. greasonable (was sthgrau)   10 years ago

        Encouraging to see that CEDA has always been the speaking equivalent of the makeup applying shotgun..

      2. B.P.   10 years ago

        Good grief. Hyperventilation as persuasive communication.

    4. Ted S.   10 years ago

      You will overcome any obstacle by resorting to strength in numbers (of friends).

      Works for the pink ribbon bullies.

      You need the government (ideally a monarch invested with supreme ultimate power and a phallic symbol strapped to her forehead) to tell you what to do with your life.

      Obama’s been pushing that message, hasn’t he?

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        Obama needs more phallus on his forehead.

        Some people have problems recognizing that he has a phallus growing from his shoulders.

  22. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

    Trigger warning, Salon

    A gun lover sees the evils of gun culture: White supremacists, Obama haters, and me
    …Here before me in earnest conversation for the last two hours was the personification of gun culture: The attitude of white supremacy, the Obama hatred and all the attendant side issues. I felt strangely privileged to have seen this man in the flesh, as if I were a cub reporter who had scooped the old timers.

    But I was also aghast. This guy doesn’t even have centuries of oppression to blame for his radical, oppressive views. What the hell went wrong?…

    1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      Pro Lib is the only person who could have centuries of anything to blame for his views, anyway.

    2. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

      Why do I get the feeling the person in the article is entirely made up?

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        Forget it BP, it’s Salontown.

      2. John   10 years ago

        It is like how to comments to every article about guns in the NYT or Washington Post contains all of these self proclaimed “lifetime gun owners” who have decided that this time the NRA and the evil Republicans have gone too far.

        1. tarran   10 years ago

          I used to cavort with loose women, snort cocaine off their lithe bodies, bought with money I stole from children walking to school.

          But now I’ve seen the light, and I won’t sin no more!

          1. Peachy rex   10 years ago

            Good man – proud of you! Now there’s more hookers, blow and walking piggy banks for me.

    3. Rhywun   10 years ago

      I guess their “used to be a libertarian” columnist took a PTO.

  23. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    We can’t take a joke anymore: The inflated dangers of pushing the envelope and crossing the line

    How did the joke become so fraught, so potentially combustible? It’s not just the professionally funny who stand in peril of getting burned. The week before Noah’s stupid tweets came to light, author Jon Ronson had been making the rounds, talking about his new book “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.” Several of the most egregious examples he found featured ordinary people whose lives were wrecked by social media, all for the sin of cracking bad jokes.

    Most notoriously, there was publicist Justine Sacco, who, trying to make fun of the attitudes many clueless, privileged white Westerners hold toward Africans, ended up being mistaken for the very sort of person she intended to mock. And then there was poor Lindsey Stone, a caregiver for adults with learning difficulties who had a running joke with a friend where they took goofy photos of themselves in front of signs, disobeying whatever the sign ordered the public to do. After posing next to such a sign at Arlington National Cemetery, she somehow ended up serving as the symbol, to countless irate souls across the Internet, of a “dumb feminist” who “hates soldiers.” Both Sacco and Stone lost their jobs as a result.

    1. Just a thought not a sermon   10 years ago

      I’ve noticed this, and I link it to kids not being able to go outside by themselves any more, and zero tolerance policies at schools, and the whole nonsensical security rigamarole at airports, and cops shooting people for holding obviously fake guns. I think we as a society have simply lost the ability to tell the difference between actual danger and make-believe. I think jokes are a victim of that, as the whole basis of humor is a temporary appearance that something is real when it couldn’t possibly be. Humor’s simply become too suspicious.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        Well, leftists are completely humorless and look who’s been running the show the last few decades.

      2. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

        +1 Name of the Rose.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      If Lenny Bruce lived today…

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        Lenny Bruce is dead? At least we still have Lou Reed.

      2. Rich   10 years ago

        If anyone can’t take a joke, I hope they never get their blah blahed again!

    3. TwB   10 years ago

      Power and Control. Those are the two things that anyone can wield over another person thanks to social media today. If you say or do anything that offends anyone, they can fuck you over by publicly shaming you. And then you have to say that you’re sorry, or you are cast out of “societal norms” or worse, fired from your job. And this is what has happened to our society. Whatever happened to being able to laugh at yourself and not take things so seriously? How about we have some fucking humility and learn to have an open mind about ourselves and the world we live in? How about some tolerance for others and their opinions?

      1. The Bad Captain Madly   10 years ago

        Saying you’re sorry is the worst thing you can do. That only sends them into a feeding frenzy, and you’ll still get fired anyway. Better to double down and let them know you won’t be intimidated. When enough people do that, they won’t be able to pull that anymore.

  24. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Report: 39,000 immigrant kids coming to U.S.

    About 39,000 immigrant children are expected to enter the country illegally as unaccompanied minors this federal fiscal year, reaching the second-highest level of that migration since 2008, says an analysis issued Wednesday by a research group in Washington, D.C.

    The estimate by the Migration Policy Institute, a nonprofit that studies the movement of people across international borders, is based on apprehension figures issued by U.S. Customs and Border Protection for the first five months of the fiscal year that began Oct. 1, 2014, and ends Sept. 30.

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      I’m sure they are all coming here to be productive members of society and will be a net benefit to the economy.
      -/Shikha

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      How many are orphans?

      /Mr. Burns glare.

      1. Andrew S.   10 years ago

        And if Rand Paul wins, we’ll have a much better chance of adding these children to our army of orphan slaves!

        1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

          What do you mean “our”?

          *frantically instructs orphan overseers to get moving*

    3. The Laconic!   10 years ago

      Good. They’ll be better off here.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        Well, yes, because we will give them money for being “disabled”.

    4. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      That’s immigrant-children.

  25. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Pew: A Deep Dive Into Party Affiliation
    Sharp Differences by Race, Gender, Generation, Education

    The rise in the share of independents has been particularly dramatic over the past decade: In 2004, 33% of Americans identified as Democrats, 30% as independents and 29% as Republicans. Since then, the percentage of independents has increased nine points while Republican affiliation has fallen six points. Democratic affiliation has shown less change over this period; it rose to 35% in 2008, fell to 32% in 2011 and has changed little since then (currently 32%).

    Most of those who identify as independents lean toward a party. And in many respects, partisan leaners have attitudes that are similar to those of partisans ? they just prefer not to identify with a party.

    1. TwB   10 years ago

      And yet, there are really only two parties that matter during a national election, which is a shame

    2. hamilton   10 years ago

      Who cares what non-Millennials think?

  26. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Rand Paul’s vile abortion deceit: How he’s trying to conceal his odious anti-choice record
    Paul thinks he can appease his antiabortion base while remaining the candidate of “personal freedom.” He’s wrong

    Paul may want to avoid questions surrounding his exact views on abortion exceptions because he’d prefer that his extreme record take a backseat to his image as a libertarian(ish!) rebel immune to party orthodoxies. But when it comes to his policy positions on abortion, there’s nothing tied up in the details ? Paul is as “hard and fast” as they come.

    Paul gave his latest philosophical meditation on abortion in response to a straightforward question about what kind of exceptions he felt should (or shouldn’t) be made if the procedure were to be banned as a result of, say, the personhood measure that he sponsored. Pushed by Philip Elliot to give a more specific answer, Paul offered:

    I’ve supported both bills with and without [exceptions], you know. In general, I am pro-life. So I will support legislation that advances and shows that life is special and deserves protection.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      Can we please please please not have another presidential election completely tainted by abortion? For fuck’s sake.

      1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

        The most pressing issue of our time.

        Even if you think it’s nothing more than a medical procedure which didn’t even exist until recently.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

          Maybe we could spend some time talking about things that are actually under the purview of the executive branch?

          1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

            You mean like if a Republican from Montana said something retarded about rape? Good idea!

          2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            You’re such a dreamer.

      2. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

        The left knows it can’t run on the economy, foreign policy, etc., etc. They’re trying to find some red tofu to throw to their base.

        1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

          LOL @ Red Tofu.

      3. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

        Can we please please please not have another presidential election completely tainted by abortion?

        I want the next election to be about circumcision and deep dish.

        1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

          And ass sex and pot.

          1. Citizen Nothing   10 years ago

            Don’t forget the Mexicans, you xenophobe!

            1. Rhywun   10 years ago

              Mexican ass-sex, or GTFO.

      4. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Can we please please please not have another presidential election completely tainted by abortion?

        No. And fuck you.

      5. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        Can we please please please not have another presidential election completely tainted by abortion? For fuck’s sake.

        Yes, as long as the focus is on rape and incest.

        1. Steve G   10 years ago

          Rape, rape-rape, or rapey rape?

          1. WTF   10 years ago

            STEVE SMITH RAPE!

            1. Steve G   10 years ago

              In a to-the-copulation rape battle between a angry dolphin and STEVE SMITH, who would win? And by ‘win’ I mean be the one doing the penetrating?

      6. Rhywun   10 years ago

        It’s not like Salon readers were ever going to vote for him.

    2. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      EVERYTHING IS VILE!

      Someone needs to buy Salon headline writers a thesaurus so they can figure out that there are words other than ‘vile’ which can be used in its place.

    3. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

      At least she avoided saying ‘yes’ to Paul’s question about if it’s okay to kill a baby in the womb.

      1. Juice   10 years ago

        Her answer basically sums up to “yes.”

        1. Emmerson Biggins   10 years ago

          Paul should really bring up Planned Parenthood.

          “I thank Ms Wasser-Shulz for her straightforward answer. And I’m glad that at least we agree on one thing. If a 8 month old, 7 pound viable fetus is going to be terminated, Planned Parenthood and it’s fungible government funding should not be involved, and I have always voted accordingly.”

    4. TwB   10 years ago

      The liberals are scared of Mr. Paul, aren’t they? They are terrified that Paul may actually win the election and fuck up their world. And I for one hope it happens.

  27. Rich   10 years ago

    turn the local copshop into nothing more than detectives that investigate crimes and obtain warrants; restore the 2nd Amendment as written so the people can deal with immediate threats on their own and, if it becomes necessary to effect an arrest using potential lethal force due to the presence of resistance let the cops raise a posse’ of citizens to go with them to do so.

    Let’s see Rand Paul propose *that*!

    1. Drake   10 years ago

      I like it.

  28. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Euro zone sets Greece reform deadline ahead of IMF repayment

    EU officials said Athens made an urgent plea for cash at a meeting of deputy finance ministers in Brussels on Wednesday night but was told there must first be progress on the stalled list of measures to make its public finances sustainable.

    “From the Greek side there was a strong statement that liquidity is getting really bad and there was an appeal to release some type of liquidity support before the euro zone finance ministers’ meeting on April 24,” a euro zone aide said.

    “But no one knows how this could be done — there is no willingness to provide support before there is some progress in terms of the reform program,” the official said.

    1. straffinrun   10 years ago

      Watching this whole farce unfold is like watching a slinky going down an ascending escalator.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      On the plus side, olive oil should be getting cheaper.

      1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

        Not that much. Spain is by the far the largest producer.

  29. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Talking to the Doctor Behind the World’s First Successful Penis Transplant

    Earlier this month, Andre van der Merwe became the first doctor to transplant a donor penis, as part of a pilot program at the University of Stellenbosch and Tygerberg Hospital in Cape Town. The nine-hour surgery took place back in December, but Dr. van der Merwe wanted to wait to make sure the procedure was a total success before announcing it to the public. He’s now happy to report that the recipient ? a 21-year-old man whose penis was amputated after a ritual circumcision (performed among a group in the Eastern Cape province) left his genitals mutilated ? is happy and healthy, and making good use of his new penis.

    Since the news broke, Dr. van der Merwe has been surprised by the overwhelming amount of interest in the surgery. For a relatively small organ, it seems the penis has outsize cultural baggage. “I didn’t see this as a high-profile surgery, but I think the hype of the operation is a reflection on us as a society,” he said, going on to discuss the effect of such a transplant on self-image and ego. “Why is the penis so important to us? I’m not sure, but it is, ” he said.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      Penis Hands of a Stranger

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        You of course meant to say Mad Love. :-

    2. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      Sounds like the doctor never got laid.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

        He will now, if you know what I mean.

    3. Rich   10 years ago

      donor penis

      Nice band name.

      Come to think of it, wasn’t there a band named — I’m not making this up — “Alien Dick Syndrome”?

    4. straffinrun   10 years ago

      “Hmm, this tastes familiar honey, you using a new soap?”

    5. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Does this mean that donkeys will become an endangered species like the rhinoceros, poached for their donor penises?

    6. The Laconic!   10 years ago

      “I want you to put Felix’s penis on me.”

    7. R C Dean   10 years ago

      So, if you can graft a penis onto someone, does that mean you could graft more than one penis onto someone?

      Asking for a friend.

    8. BigT   10 years ago

      For a relatively small organ, it seems the penis has outsize cultural baggage.

      Its influence grows.

  30. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    The Oil Industry’s $26 Billion Life Raft

    For U.S. shale drillers, the crash in oil prices came with a $26 billion safety net. That’s how much they stand to get paid on insurance they bought to protect themselves against a bear market — as long as prices stay low.

    The flipside is that those who sold the price hedges now have to make good. At the top of the list are the same Wall Street banks that financed the biggest energy boom in U.S. history, including JPMorgan Chase & Co., Bank of America Corp., Citigroup Inc. and Wells Fargo & Co.

    While it’s standard practice for them to sell some of that risk to third parties, it’s nearly impossible to identify who exactly is on the hook because there are no rules requiring disclosure of all transactions. The buyers come from groups like hedge funds, airlines, refiners and utilities.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      it’s nearly impossible to identify who exactly is on the hook

      Ultimately, the taxpayers. TBTF for the win.

      1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

        These are not good days to be in the reinsurance business….

        1. Homple   10 years ago

          -1 Swiss Re?

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      how much they stand to get paid on insurance they bought to protect themselves against a bear market

      Aren’t these known as “oil futures”?

  31. Rich   10 years ago

    Intel CEO controls a swarm of robot spiders with gestures

    These aren’t the spiders you’re looking for.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      +1 Gene Simmons Science Fiction Double Feature

      1. Florida Man   10 years ago

        Runaway?

    2. straffinrun   10 years ago

      Yeah sure, that’s how you got those webbed fingers.

  32. SugarFree   10 years ago

    The Queering of Mainstream Rap

    Makonnen would not be the first openly gay or bi male rapper, of course, but he would be the first to be inside rap’s mainstream. He’s far from the prototypical rapper?his music is wobbly, broken, and morose, and he talks about being a quiet loner who loves indie rock?but he’s also had a song played endlessly on rap stations in between tracks by people like Lil Wayne and Big Sean. Drake?one of the most popular rappers in the world, and someone whose own music continually takes a sledgehammer to traditional ideas of masculinity?signed Makonnen to his label and shot “Tuesday” to popularity by remixing it. Makonnen’s new mixtape has verses from Gucci Mane and Migos, guys who visibly resemble what we understand rappers to be, and like those artists, Makonnen has entire songs about selling drugs.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      his music is wobbly, broken, and morose, and he talks about being a quiet loner who loves indie rock

      Oh god. I’ll just be puncturing my eardrums to make sure I don’t accidentally hear him, then.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        Hey, leave Morrissey alone.

  33. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Paul Blooms As Clinton Wilts In Colorado, Iowa, Virginia, Quinnipiac University Swing State Poll Finds

    COLORADO: Paul 44 – Clinton 41
    IOWA: Paul 43 – Clinton 42
    VIRGINIA: Clinton 47 – Paul 43

    Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s lead is wilting against leading Republican presidential candidates in three critical swing states, Colorado, Iowa and Virginia, and she finds herself in a close race with U.S. Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky in each state, according to a Quinnipiac University Swing State Poll released today. In head-to-head matchups, every Republican candidate effectively ties her in Colorado and almost all Republicans effectively tie her in Iowa.

    1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      Meaningless poll a year and a half before the election displays its meaninglessness.

      1. John   10 years ago

        For someone as well known as Hillary, polls at this point are not meaningless. She should be destroying Paul given her name reputation and status as presumptive nominee. The fact that she is even close let alone behind at this point is very bad news for Hillary. Paul is still compared to Hillary a relatively unknown candidate. He still has to introduce himself to the country and thus has a high ceiling. Hillary is known by everyone and thus has much less room to grow.

        1. NoVAHockey   10 years ago

          She’s known my mostly everyone – except possibly the youngest of voters. who likely won’t vote anyway.

        2. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

          I was in a continuing ed class with a girl that went to an event that Rand Paul spoke at and she couldn’t even remember his name the next day.

        3. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

          Good thing for Hillary, then, the GOP will nominate someone completely uninspiring whose poll numbers show they would lose to Clinton easily.

          1. John   10 years ago

            I don’t think Jeb is going to win. It will be Walker, Paul or Cruz in that order of likelihood.

            1. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

              I personally think Walker is OK (mainly for his union-busting), but he’s not gonna win against Hillary.

              But I’m pretty sure the GOP will nominate Jeb Bush. Both parties operate based on whose “turn” it is, pretty much (although Hillary got bumped in favor of Obama in ’08). Hillary is a given. I’d put Jeb Bush at about 80% certainty.

              1. John   10 years ago

                But it is not Jeb’s turn. And they don’t operate like that. It was John McCain’s turn in 2000 not 2008. No one said it was George Bush’s turn. They only nominate like that when they have no other alternative. This year the Republicans do.

  34. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    David Sirota of Salon hates all 80s action movies and cartoons:

    http://www.salon.com/2011/03/1…..ur_future/

    1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      Makes sense why he and Adam Goldberg weren’t closer.

    2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

      What kind of monster hates Predator or Robocop or Aliens or Conan or Total Recall or the 80’s were fucking fantastic.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        +1 I’d Buy That For a Dollar

      2. hamilton   10 years ago

        Well, the article is mostly aimed at militaristic movies, so thankfully he is not criticizing Die Hard.

      3. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

        Someone who takes politics so seriously his life is joyless because everything offends him.

      4. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        David Sirota also claimed Seabiscuit contained thinly veiled white supremacist notions, so his views on these things aren’t exactly reasonable.

        1. hamilton   10 years ago

          He should probably avoid the My Little Pony movie, then.

        2. straffinrun   10 years ago

          Sea biscuit had extremely offensive material in it. I refer, of course, to the FDR ball licking.

      5. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Die Hard.

        The Running Man.

        Commando.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Lethal Weapon.

        2. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

          “What are the names of three really crappy movies?”

          1. hamilton   10 years ago

            You’re dead to me now.

            1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              I wasn’t before?

              1. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

                For some reason, your handle makes him think of you as kindred spirit…

                1. hamilton   10 years ago

                  You, on the other hand, should just get off my lawn.

          2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            Remember, Old Man, when I promised to kill you last?

            1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              Remember, Old Man, when I promised to kill you last?

              Many have tried and yet… I managed to get old.

        3. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

          My favorite thing about Schwarzenegger movies is the names of his characters. They’re always way too English for his thick Austrian accent. “John Matrix”, “John Kimble”, “Howard Langston”. LOL.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      First Blood wasn’t all that jingoistic. Rambo II reversed that of course.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

        First Blood is a movie about PTSD, the mistreatment of Vietnam vets and asshole cops who think they are the law.

        ‘Red Dawn’ is a movie about living under occupation and the tragic, desperate lengths people will go to to resist invaders.

        Amazing how all the nuance in these movies get sucked out by people who can’t think.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

          Taps was one of the weird entries in the 80’s movie genre and a personal favorite for some reason.

          1. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

            Agreed. Very good movie.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Precisely. Which is why ‘The Demolition Man’ is awesome.

          Are we saying Stallone is a genius.

          /eyes widen.

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            Demolition Man came out in 1993, you admitted Canadian.

            1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

              I know. I was just expanding on Grand’s ‘nuance’ comment.

              EH.

              1. SugarFree   10 years ago

                AH-HA! I KNEW IT!

            2. Idle Hands   10 years ago

              Not in Canada. In Canada it came out last year.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

            +3 Shells

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

            +3 Shells

      2. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        I watched First Blood recently – been years since I last saw it. It holds up pretty well, stunts ‘n’ all though I never liked Stallone’s hammy acting in the last scene(s).

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          IT’S NEVER OVER!

        2. Juice   10 years ago

          You need to blame the director for stuff like that.

      3. The Laconic!   10 years ago

        I don’t think First Blood was even a \emph{little bit} jingoistic.

        Jesse Walker has a thorough and nuanced discussion of the Rambo quadrilogy in his book.

        1. The Laconic!   10 years ago

          Ugh. I’m using LaTeX tags instead of HTML tags. Good thing vacation is next week.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            \mathbf{SHUT THE FUCK UP MORON}

    4. Warty   10 years ago

      CRUCIFY HIM.

  35. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    Scientists think they have finally resolved mystery of Moon’s origin

    Astronomers have finally resolved the riddle of moon’s origin. According to a study published in the prestigious Nature journal, the moon was formed by a collision between baby Earth and a primordial planet called Theia. Scientists said Theia was strikingly similar to the Earth in composition. The study resolves a long-standing puzzle about why Earth and the moon have a similar chemical composition.

    Computer simulations showed that a large chunk of material that formed the moon came from Theia. Alessandra Mastrobuono-Battisti of the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa and the lead author of the study said that Theia, the shattered impactor, likely had a slightly different isotopic makeup than Earth.

    Using advanced computer models, researchers ran multiple simulations of late-stage planet formation. Within a period of 100-200 million years, each simulation gave birth to three or four planets due to the collision of planetary embryos and planetesimals. After analyzing the last moon-forming impact scenarios, astronomers concluded that Earth and Theia had the same chemical composition.

    1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

      I thought it was caused by something passing through Warty while he was doing a deep squat.

    2. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Bullshit. Warty Hugeman shit out the moon after eating every cow on Beefonia 9, the Beef Planet, and drinking the entire ocean on Beer World. Everyone knows this.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        Knowing is half the battle.

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!

          1. Xeones   10 years ago

            HEY KIDS I’M A COMPUTER

            STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN’

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen   10 years ago

        Great going SF, now you just created a new religion based on the Warty Hugeman mythology.

    3. Rich   10 years ago

      Mastrobuono-Battisti

      Just rolls off the tongue.

    4. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      Hasn’t this theory been around for quite a while?

    5. The DerpRider   10 years ago

      Theia and Gaia?

      1. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Goddamn lesbos!

        1. The DerpRider   10 years ago

          Just bumping and grinding against each other. Scandalous!

          1. BuSab Agent   10 years ago

            And it ends with the entire planet getting mooned.

    6. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

      Were the planetesimals polled?

  36. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    CEDA debate featuring students from Hah-Vahd:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKpXQIf9exA

    Like gasping and speed-talking? This link is for you:

    https://youtu.be/4jyZZ97P7FQ?t=9m40s

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      What the hell is that supposed to be?

      1. SugarFree   10 years ago

        A girl with Tourette’s shitting a gross of thumbtacks?

        1. Rich   10 years ago

          Nice.

    2. Rich   10 years ago

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

  37. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    GoFundMe shuts down defense donation page for South Carolina cop

    A fundraising page dedicated to South Carolina police officer Michael Slager was shut down by GoFundMe on Wednesday.

    Slager was charged with the murder of 50-year-old Walter Scott after video surfaced of him shooting at the unarmed man eight times. GoFundMe’s public relations manager, Kelsea Little, told The Huffington Post that the page’s removal was “due to a violation of our terms and conditions.”

    However, Little said GoFundMe was unable to discuss the details of the campaign with anyone other than the organizer because of “privacy concerns.”

    One source of outside financial support for the Slager family will be North Charleston. In a press conference Wednesday, Mayor Keith Summey confirmed that the town would continue to pay for the medical insurance of the officer’s wife, who is eight months pregnant, until the birth of the child.

    Comparisons have been drawn between the shooting of Scott and Ferguson, Missouri, teen Michael Brown, including the online fundraising for the officer involved in the shooting in response to protests against police brutality.

    Who watches that video says “Hey, I better donate money to this guy’s defense!”?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      As much as I may dislike the cop, I think it is a bad decision to start discriminating between fundraising efforts.

      1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

        yeah I don’t like go fund me doing this but it is their right to do so.

        1. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

          Maybe if he snapped because of some repressed homosexual tendencies they should have to

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

            repressed homosexualcidal tendencies

            FIFY

            1. Xeones   10 years ago

              Not so much repressed.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Yeah. Just let it rot in embarrassment as the ‘$0’ gauge never moves.

        Didn’t the father himself give a moving interview about his son killing a human like an animal or something?

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Another reason why it’s a bad idea is because soon after Memories Pizza was getting a lot of donations a leftist nutbar demanded the government move in and shut GoFundMe down.

          Just let things work themselves out.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      As I mentioned up thread, I’m desperately trying to figure out what the fuck CEDA is about. I sure as hell don’t get it and judging from that smug, butthurt Paul Marbrey calling us racists for thinking so, I can sorta see why it’s a joke.

      Fall. Of. The. West.

    3. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Go read one of the Ferguson thread for some ideas.

    4. Longtorso, Johnny   10 years ago

      Nobody, but if GFM starts shutting down donation pages, they will start being pressured into shutting down pages for the likes of Memories Pizza, so the SJW crowd can continue to bankrupt anyone who displeases them.

    5. Idle Hands   10 years ago

      Cops.

    6. John   10 years ago

      Cops is who donates. They shouldn’t shut it down. There is nothing illegal or immoral about contributing to someone’s defense. It is just helping them get a fair trial. Even though the guy is a cop and judging from the video likely guilty, he still deserves a defense and a fair trial and there is nothing wrong with people donating to see he gets one.

    7. Rich   10 years ago

      GoFundMe’s public relations manager, Kelsea Little, told The Huffington Post that the page’s removal was “due to a violation of our terms and conditions.” However, Little said GoFundMe was unable to discuss the details of the campaign with anyone other than the organizer because of “privacy concerns.”

      Well, Kelsea, since the campaign’s page has been *removed* due to *your* terms and conditions can’t you at least give us a little hint?

      1. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

        NOT ALLOWED ON GOFUNDME

        To report a campaign that you believe violates the guidelines below, please contact us at: http://www.gofundme.com/contact

        Sexually explicit material
        Sexually suggestive material
        Adult services or products
        Pornography of any kind
        Material relating to adult industry
        Campaigns in defense of formal charges of heinous crimes, including violent, hateful, or sexual acts
        …

        1. Steve G   10 years ago

          Rules Guidelines are meant to be broken considered

          1. Dweebston   10 years ago

            ZERO TOLERANCE

    8. R C Dean   10 years ago

      In a press conference Wednesday, Mayor Keith Summey confirmed that the town would continue to pay for the medical insurance of the officer’s wife, who is eight months pregnant, until the birth of the child.

      I’m not going to beat them up for that.

  38. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

    “GOP presidential candidate Rand Paul accused television anchor Savannah Guthrie of “editorializing” and asking biased questions during a contentious Today show interview.”

    17.0 Bush
    15.8 Walker
    9.2 Cruz
    9.2 Paul
    9.0 Carson
    8.8 Huckabee
    6.8 Rubio
    5.6 Christie
    2.8 Perry
    1.8 Santorum
    1.3 Jindal
    1.3 Kasich

    Those candidates are listed by polling numbers, but they might as well be listed in terms of their name recognition. The only guy there with a lot more name recognition than support is Christie, and that’s probably because what primary voters know about him is all bad.

    The way they keep going after Rand Paul in the MSM, his name recognition numbers are going to go way up. There’s a huge chunk of GOP primary voters who don’t know anything about Paul, and if the only thing they do know about him is that the MSM hates him because he’s pro-life, etc.–then that can’t be a bad thing for the Rand Paul campaign.

    Isn’t the only thing most of them know about Walker that the public employee unions hate him?

    1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

      http://www.realclearpolitics.c…..-3823.html

    2. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

      Ron Paul’s numbers kept going up the more he debated/campaigned in Iowa so I imagine Paul will follow the same trajectory.

      The only question is if he’ll peak early and hit the same ceiling Ron did. I say no because he’s obviously a better speaker and politician.

      1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        Rand will be destroyed by Sheldon Adelson and his neocon buddies.

      2. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

        Also, whatever support ceiling Ron Paul hit for being an anti-war candidate was partially because he was running against an ongoing war in Iraq.

        I suspect there’s a substantive difference in a lot of primary voters’ minds between opposing a war that’s currently being fought, on the one hand, and opposing unnecessary hypothetical wars in the future.

        1. John   10 years ago

          There is a huge difference. GOP voters are not generally big on saving the world. But once we do commit, they expect to win. Reason is bitching and moaning about Paul wanting to increase the defense budget. They are missing the genius of that position. Paul’s commitment to a big defense is his way of assuring GOP voters that he is not some self loathing “why do they hate us” type. I think a bigger defense budget is a small price to pay for fewer or no wars for a while.

          1. tarran   10 years ago

            Rand Paul’s success is not only due to the early boost he got from his father’s supporters, but also from his willingness to work within the establishment that so hated and worked against his father.

            Some of the puzzling things he is doing with the media strike me as being from the same playbook: designed to advance both his personal fortunes and the fortunes of the Republican Party – placating the establishment vice goading it into opposing him.

            The Republicans lost the last presidential election because the base did not turn out. The testy exchanges and the baiting of the Democratic party supporting media are allowing him to motivate and excite the base, expand his appeal with that base *without* it coming at the expense of a bloody internecine war with other Republicans candidates.

            I think he will likely not get the nomination, but his campaign will cement him as the leader of a wing of the Republican Party that could even become the dominant one over the course of a decade or two.

            1. John   10 years ago

              I think he has a good shot. I think him, Cruz and Walker are the three contenders. Right now they are all three about even. The question is which one of those guys picks up the most Jeb Bush voters when his candidacy finally implodes. And I honestly don’t know which one that will be.

              1. R C Dean   10 years ago

                Bush’s base appeal (other than his name and connections) is basically as an experienced/competent technocrat.

                I think Walker is the natural landing place for Bush supporters who aren’t going on name and connections.

            2. Warty   10 years ago

              The segments of the Republican base who hate him for being a pinko faggot who won’t nuke Iran hate the media even more than they hate him. If he gets the media in full hate mode against him for the next year, those people will dutifully line up to vote for him.

              1. John   10 years ago

                Those segments are small Warty. And the fact that he is committed to a big defense budget makes it hard for them to convince anyone else that they are right. If Paul came out wanting to cut the hell out of the defense budget, the majority of the GOP base would conclude he is a pinko. The fact that he hasn’t done that means they won’t. The GOP voters will go for carry a big stick and talk softly. They just won’t go for walk away from the world and also disarm.

                1. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

                  he is committed to a big defense budget

                  If you think the amendment he offered that garnered 3 votes, 2 of which were his own and Mitch, was a “commitment” to a big defense budget, you have not perceived the gist of the amendment.

                  1. John   10 years ago

                    Reason seems to think he is. Weren’t they on here this week bitching about what a sell out he was concerning defense spending?

                    1. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

                      Yeah, they didn’t get it either. But, I’ve stopped expecting them to be able to perceive political ploys, even after they’re explained to them.

            3. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

              “The Republicans lost the last presidential election because the base did not turn out.”

              The WSJ recently published a piece disproving that assertion. When time permits I will look for it.

              1. John   10 years ago

                I would be curious to see that. Romney won independents by a wide margin. I can’t see how he could have lost other than because more of the Dem base came out than the GOP base. The bases are not that different in size.

      3. straffinrun   10 years ago

        That ceiling is more like a wall and it’s somewhere to the left on the Bell Curve.

    3. John   10 years ago

      I agree. And Bush has huge name recognition. That means it is going to be a lot harder for him to improve his poll numbers than his competitors. At this point, Bush is the Democrats last hope. The only way I see the Democrats winning in 16 is the media can somehow get Bush’s sorry ass nominated causing a big chunk of conservative and Libertarian voters to stay home. Bush would generate less enthusiasm and turnout than Romney did and that is about what it is going to take for the Democrats to win.

      1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

        It might be disconcerting to the Bush campaign that his numbers are so low. 100% of Republicans recognize his name, and 87% of them would rather nominate someone else.

        Hillary doesn’t have as much competition, but that’s probably because her support level within the Democratic Party is so high–far higher than Bush’s is within the GOP.

        1. John   10 years ago

          It should be very disconcerting. At this point, who is going to support Bush that doesn’t already? Not many people that I can see.

        2. R C Dean   10 years ago

          Hillary’s lack of competition comes from a couple of sources, I believe:

          The implosion of the Democrat bench in Congress and the states.

          The well-known thuggery of the Clinton machine.

          1. John   10 years ago

            Unless Warren decides to run, and timing is running out for her to put together a campaign, it will be Hillary, O’Mally and maybe Biden, though I have yet to see Biden actually start to put together a campaign. That is a pretty weak field. I can’t see a far left governor from a deep blue state winning a national election. Can you?

    4. Dweebston   10 years ago

      n’t the only thing most of them know about Walker that the public employee unions hate him?

      His campaign out to be running clickbait ads on Taboola. “Public sector unions HATE him.”

      1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

        That’s what I like about him!

      2. Dweebston   10 years ago

        Run it under a photo of the inevitable dykish union rep looking unpleasantly florid, raising one tumescent meat paw to point flaccidly while delivering some risible comment through coffee-stained teeth. THERE’S ALWAYS ONE.

      3. Steve G   10 years ago

        He could be president with this ONE WEIRD TRICK!

        1. Dweebston   10 years ago

          I can’t tell if it’s tacky enough to work or if people would miss the joke and think it’s serious. The left would greet it with all the humor an MSNBC panel can muster, in any event.

  39. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

    Soen, doing Opeth better than Opeth.

    Enjoy!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVHnVDg7IJI

    1. This Machine   10 years ago

      Doing Opeth better than Opeth? Unpossi-

      *listens to song*

      Well I’ll be damned. Not bad.

      1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

        And there are even better representatives too. I chose that one because it’s relatively tame.

        Check this one out.

        There’s a good reason for the similarities: the drummer (Martin Lopez) was with Opeth for about a decade. They have an Opeth-ey sound without copying Opeth. They’re taking Opeth like sounds where Opeth now refuses to take them because Opeth refuses to acknowledge its metal roots these days.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko3FIfRJBVE

  40. John   10 years ago

    http://thefederalist.com/2015/…..ture-wars/

    I don’t follow SCIFI much. Apparently some people launched a campaign to get some decent writers Hugo Awards instead of the usual SJW favorites. The reaction to their success was the usual “racist white men launch sexist and racist campaign to destroy the Hugo Awards.

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      I tried to get Robby to write something about this, but I guess he’d rather spend time grooming his luxurious head of hair.

      1. John   10 years ago

        It seems like it might be a big deal. Progs have taken over every big award and institution in this country. It would be nice to see normal people take some of them back.

        1. Dweebston   10 years ago

          It’s almost better to leave them to their sad mutual admiration societies like we do with Hollywood awards shows. They’re too busy patting each other on the back to be of any real cultural detriment.

          1. John   10 years ago

            I disagree. They use that power to keep better artists from getting known. Eventually they turn the entire art form into horrible PC dreck and cause people to turn away from it entirely. They basically destroy anything they touch.

            1. Dweebston   10 years ago

              It seems pretty self-limiting, but then again, I’m happy to see pushback in gaming against the forces of mediocrity. I’m not an avid fan of the medium, but watching the attempted takeover as it plays out has been fascinating. If nothing else the social justice bores seem to be reigniting misogyny and racism as an ironic counterculture. Which is probably for the best, because mockery is the best response to both bigotry and lefty concern trolling.

    2. Andrew S.   10 years ago

      Check out the Popehat (and ClarkHat) twitter feeds for the past week. He’s been dealing with those idiots, mostly making fun of them.

      That article, by the way, leaves out the part where Arthur Chu tweeted, and then memory holed, that picture of Brad Torgerson and his wife and daughter, calling the wife and daughter “shields”. Thankfully, ClarkHat screenshotted it before it got memory holed.

      1. John   10 years ago

        These people are evil. They so badly want to start killing. They just don’t have the power and hopefully never will. If they ever get it, they will happily start murdering people.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        Chu’s a genius, a fucking genius!

        Why don’t “conservatives” want to conserve good things like clean water instead of bad stuff like racism? The water’s running out way faster

        1. R C Dean   10 years ago

          The water’s running out?

          I doubt that. Its just in inconvenient places. I’m not aware that H2O exiting the planet is a problem.

    3. Rhywun   10 years ago

      Hilarious:

      “CORRECTION: After misinterpreting reports in other news publications, EW published an unfair and inaccurate depiction of the Sad Puppies voting slate, which does, in fact, include many women and writers of color.”

      The media just regurgitate the latest talking points without any critical examination whatsoever.

      1. John   10 years ago

        I saw a list of like ten publications who published the exact same talking points about this on the same day. They are so obvious you have to laugh.

  41. Jackand Ace   10 years ago

    Rand Paul needs to stop being such a whiny thing about questions that are posed to him. It was the Today Show. Yikes. He hasn’t seen anything yet.
    Anyway, here questions were the exact same questions Nick wondered about here last week…has Rand Paul changed his mind about many issues.
    Grow up.

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Grow up? Like you, joe? Rand Paul should only be 5’1″ and troll websites?

      You pathetic fuck. I hope your high school debate coach killed himself when he found out how little you made of yourself.

    2. John   10 years ago

      No Joe. He needs to continue to tell Democratic operatives like Gutherie to fuck off. Let them go after him. The more they go after him the more GOP voters will like him and the more apparent the contrast between how they treat him and their endless boot licking of Obama.

      Republicans need to treat the media like the enemies they are and with complete contempt. Pretending the media has any integrity or does anything but shill for the other side is a fool’s errand. So of course, since everything you say is a lie, you claim they need to be nice to the media. Concern troll is forever concerned.

      1. Mike M.   10 years ago

        I don’t understand why more republicans can’t emulate the Reagan style, or at least try. He was the undisputed champ of dealing with the scum in the JournoList, but doing it with class and grace, which only infuriated them even more because they couldn’t get to him.

        1. Citizen Nothing   10 years ago

          I agree with MM on this one. More flies with honey, etc., etc. Perhaps it could be a planned strategy to attract red-meat primary voters, but I think he loses more than he gains.

        2. John   10 years ago

          I agree Mike. That is the best way to do it. More Republicans don’t do it because it is really hard to do. It is really hard to make someone look like a fool and look like a nice guy doing it. Reagan was the best there has ever been at that.

        3. lap83   10 years ago

          The professional acting experience probably helped

          1. Rhywun   10 years ago

            Not to mention some amount of charisma. That’s probably asking too much these days.

        4. Emmerson Biggins   10 years ago

          Because it’s hard to do. You have to simultaneously, in real time, (a) realize somebody is being a partisan hack shit head asking you a loaded question and (b) figure out how to “unload” the question (c) not look pissed off or irritated.

          No way I could do it in real time.

      2. Warty   10 years ago

        Scum like joe like it when Republicans know their place, when they accept that they’re scum and grovel for the approval of their betters. I look forward to many years of whining that Rand Paul doesn’t play their bullshit game properly.

    3. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

      Is that really joe?

      How’s it goin’ joe!

      1. John   10 years ago

        It is really Joe. We sniffed him out a couple of weeks ago.

        1. Xeones   10 years ago

          Good ol’ joe. That fucking guy.

      2. Rhywun   10 years ago

        He’s been out there doing god’s work in some of the worst neighborhoods in America.

  42. Dweebston   10 years ago

    “The Baltimore Police Department has used an invasive and controversial cellphone tracking device thousands of times in recent years while following instructions from the FBI to withhold information about it from prosecutors and judges, a detective revealed in court testimony Wednesday.”

    “We learned it from you, okay?!”

  43. LynchPin1477   10 years ago

    GOP presidential candidate Rand Paul accused television anchor Savannah Guthrie of “editorializing” and asking biased questions during a contentious Today show interview.

    He’ll be getting a lot of that, but he needs to have a better response. If the left knows they get him to throw a tantrum, that’s all they’ll do.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

      His brilliant response to the abortion question yesterday suggests Team Rand has been thinking of better ways to answer those kinds of questions. It’s gone over extremely well with the GOP primary base.

      1. LynchPin1477   10 years ago

        What was that answer?

        1. Dweebston   10 years ago

          The answer is that there is no answer, and leaving the question to the states is perhaps the best bet for engendering lasting peace in the culture war at the national level.

          …is what I would have said.

          Rand responded by asking whether Debbie whatshername Schultz thinks it’s acceptable to kill a seven pound baby. Schultz took the bait with gusto and affirmed that it is.

          1. brokencycle   10 years ago

            Abortion, the only decision Schultz doesn’t think the government should be involved in.

          2. BigT   10 years ago

            “When an abortion bill comes to my desk I’ll review it on its merits and act accordingly.”

        2. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

          Here it is

          Basically he called out journalists for always framing the abortion debate on Democrats’ terms instead of addressing the obvious issue about when life begins.

      2. John   10 years ago

        It suggest that Team Red finally has a few people who are smarter and braver than what they had before.

        1. Dweebston   10 years ago

          No longer the stupid party? What will we call it, then?!

          1. John   10 years ago

            The less stupid party. Or maybe the sometimes stupid party.

            1. Dweebston   10 years ago

              Other way around, I think. The mostly stupid party.

  44. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Most people speak about 60 words per minute. The top-ranked so-called debaters speak about 350 words per minute.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6KH5-DPfnw

    Berkeley vs. Harvard, next on WINDOWLICKER DEATHMATCH

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhzwSlK4uEc

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Turn on the closed captioning. Oh, my.

      1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

        “rockabilly singer sleepy action according to give a new 48 your free”

        Top that, Agile Cyborg

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      What’s the point? I thought debate was about convincing arguments and effective communication.

      1. Seamus   10 years ago

        You obviously aren’t very familiar with high school and college “debate.”

      2. R C Dean   10 years ago

        Long ago, as when I was in high school, it was a highly technical game of making/challenging points with some shred of evidence. Speed was essential, even back in the quill pen days, to win the academic sport at least.

      3. Brett L   10 years ago

        What I dread most about my son is that he’ll probably subject me a decade and a half of pop music

  45. Warty   10 years ago

    Nostalgia, Faith No More style.

  46. bassjoe   10 years ago

    An enterprising redditor created a slow motion gif from the video of the SC cop planting the taser by the dead guy. In front of another cop, no less. http://i.imgur.com/DTYSXXC.gif

    1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      Sentence him to general population. Let natural law sort it out.

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      That is definitive.

      The other cop needs be charged as an accessory.

  47. Michael Ejercito   10 years ago

    So he opposes transitioning for transgendered minors?

  48. Spoonman.   10 years ago

    What? The “giant impact hypothesis” has been the standard explanation for a very long time.

  49. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

    I don’t even know what to say to the idiots who buy into this.

    Reddit CEO Ellen Pao Bans Salary Negotiations To Equalize Pay For Men, Women

    “Men negotiate harder than women do and sometimes women get penalized when they do negotiate,” she said. “So as part of our recruiting process we don’t negotiate with candidates. We come up with an offer that we think is fair. If you want more equity, we’ll let you swap a little bit of your cash salary for equity, but we aren’t going to reward people who are better negotiators with more compensation.”

    1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      Next headline: “Reddit Hemorrages staff to better paying compeditors”

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      I’m sure Reddit’s competitors are thrilled.

      1. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

        As well as their suppliers, who presumably negotiate.

    3. Auric Demonocles   10 years ago

      we aren’t going to reward people who are better negotiators with more compensation

      Er… what? If your concern is that “sometimes women get penalized when they do negotiate” you could just not penalize for that at your company.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        They may as well put out a special edition Reddit Barbie that says “Negotiating is hard!”

        1. lap83   10 years ago

          It’s so insulting. They’re not just implying incompetence at negotiating, but that women are also incredibly naive and gullible. “Don’t worry your pretty little head over how much we should pay you. We did all of the hard work in figuring it out” Fuck that noise.

    4. lap83   10 years ago

      “We come up with an offer that we think is fair.”

      Uh huh.

    5. Steve G   10 years ago

      we aren’t going to reward people who are better negotiators have not only the courage but basic workplace/life skill to ask for more compensation
      FTFY, deservedly underpaid bitch

    6. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Why would anyone hire this person given her history of suing her employers?

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        No. Kidding.

    7. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

      So the solution isn’t to teach women to be self-sufficient tough negotiators?

      Sometimes I hate the world. I need my hate bubble, stat.

    8. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

      They do take it or leave it offers and they justify it by saying they are doing it for the benefit of potential employees?

      How delightfully robber baronesque of them!

      1. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

        It’s like car dealers that do “no haggle pricing”. They’re laughing all the way to the bank!

  50. Warty   10 years ago

    Jesus went to hell: The Christian history churches would rather not acknowledge

    I’ve never been even close to a Christian and even I know that Jesus went to hell. To the moronic writer’s credit, he acknowledges the existence of the Apostles’ Creed. But somehow he thinks it’s not, you know, a foundation of Christianity or something.

    1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      My favorite Christian misconception: most Christians believe that when people die, they either go to heaven or hell. What the Bible actually says is that everyone stays dead until judgement day. Then they either go to heaven or hell.

      So if heaven and hell exist, there are no people there right now.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        You can thank Dante for a lot of that

      2. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

        most Christians believe

        There is a substantial number of Christians, who call themselves Catholics that believe in a place called Purgatory. Maybe you’ve heard of them.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

          I saw Supernatural, I know all about that.

      3. Juice   10 years ago

        Then what was the vision about the rich man in hell in Luke 16? The one about how the rich man did not give the beggar Lazarus any help and so ended up in hell begging for water. It describes Lazarus going to heaven right after his death and the rich man going to hell right after his death.

      4. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

        That is not Catholic theology.

    2. lap83   10 years ago

      I think the mind of a Salon writer goes something like, 1. learns a fact 2. treats it like the discovery of the new world

      1. Dweebston   10 years ago

        3. publish an 800 word writeup with all the nuance and scope of a Buzzfeed article.

    3. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Salon plays the most pathetic version of the gotcha game in town.

    4. John   10 years ago

      I don’t understand why he would think they wouldn’t acknowledge that or have a problem with doing so. It doesn’t make any sense if he didn’t go to hell. The point was Jesus experienced the full life as a man, meaning death, suffering, hell, the sense of abandonment by God, everything. What is this guy’s next article? “Jesus was executed as a criminal by Roman authorities: The Christian history churches would rather not acknowledge”?

      1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

        The point was Jesus experienced the full life as a man, meaning death, suffering, hell, the sense of abandonment by God, everything.

        There’s one thing missing off your list of things required for experiencing “the full life as a man.” Hint: it involves vaginas.

        1. Steve G   10 years ago

          -1 Gospel of Mary

        2. John   10 years ago

          Not necessarily. There is nothing essential about sex to life. It is a part of life, but so is murder and lots of other things. So is sin, for that matter. And Jesus didn’t experience any of that. There is nothing contradictory or problematic about him never getting married or experiencing sex. Those things while a part of life are not essential to every life.

          1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

            When the Church doles out advice concerning sex in the name of a man who never had sex, I think you;re wrong about that John.

            Jesus and his message are nothing more than what churches say it is.

            1. John   10 years ago

              They don’t dole out advice about sex other than don’t do it out of marriage and maybe don’t do it unless you want kids. Moreover, they dole out advice about killing and war too. Jesus didn’t do any of those things either.

              The point of Jesus was to experience the human condition or life death and suffering. It was also to give the Jews one last warning that they needed to stop treating their covenant with God as a private religion and make it a world religion. Marriage and family had nothing to do with any of that.

        3. CampingInYourPark   10 years ago

          There’s one thing missing off your list of things required for experiencing “the full life as a man.” Hint: it involves vaginas.

          Doesn’t a wedding cake make up for that?

        4. Rhywun   10 years ago

          Hint: it involves vaginas.

          Not for every man it doesn’t.

      2. Dweebston   10 years ago

        Every year, Catholics celebrate the maiming and execution of an innocent man!

    5. Idle Hands   10 years ago

      You know who else probably went to hell?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        Everybody – 144,000?

        1. Dweebston   10 years ago

          The Mormons had it right all along.

      2. lap83   10 years ago

        Saddam Hussein?

      3. Xeones   10 years ago

        Spawn?

      4. Krieger's Waifu   10 years ago

        All people on Oceanic Flight 815?

    6. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      SugarFree meets theology: Hell is Full of Buff Demons Having Gay Sex- I Love It

      http://www.amazon.com/Hell-dem…..B00MDZ5QEU

      1. lap83   10 years ago

        Wow, the “customers who viewed..” books are also amazing. “Conquered by Clippy”

        1. R C Dean   10 years ago

          Seriously, stuff like this is what gives me hope for mankind.

      2. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Pat Robertson published a book? Cool!

  51. Sevo   10 years ago

    “[…]the Obama administration has endorsed a ban on “conversion therapy” for minors,[…]”

    Right. I’m sure no one who wants to do this will be able to figure out a way around the ban.

  52. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Alternet publishes confession of former libertarian:

    http://www.alternet.org/news-a…..paid-price

    1. tarran   10 years ago

      It’s so wonderful when a sinner returns to Jesus’ loving arms!

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      It was inevitable. Rage defines all right-leaning movements in the Obama era. The existence of this hate, vitriol and disgust is beyond dispute.

      What’s the word? Oh, right, projectment. I think.

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        The existence of this hate, vitriol and disgust is beyond dispute.

        Isn’t the interesting question whether its justified or not?

      2. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

        Rage defines all right-leaning movements in the Obama era. The existence of this hate, vitriol and disgust is beyond dispute.

        He’s missing conempt

    3. PH2050   10 years ago

      Fuck man, how do you even do this day in and day out? Would’ve eaten my gun a long time ago.

      May Cthulhu have mercy on your soul.

      1. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

        May Cthulhu have mercy on your soul.

        That may well be it. When the Elder Gods return, They’ll respond respond to Derpetologist with “Oh, you’ve been reading Alternet? Shit, not much use trying to drive you insane. You’ve encountered it”.

    4. Zeb   10 years ago

      He does have a point that a lot of libertarians need to fucking relax.

  53. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

    Hey! Bobby Flay is fixin to be single again!

    *crickets*

    1. John   10 years ago

      My wife isn’t into him. She is all about that foul mouth Scot Gorden Ramsey. I have never been jealous or possessive. It has never bothered me when my wife gets a celebrity crush. I get them too. For some reason her liking Ramsey bugs me. He is such an obnoxious bastard. Maybe he is too much like me.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        He’s only like that on the American shows because that’s what FOX perceives Americans want of him. His persona is completely different on the British shows.

      2. lap83   10 years ago

        Maybe she wants you to yell at her in the kitchen more

        1. lap83   10 years ago

          For me, there’s an inverse relationship between how well known the chef is for their personality and whether I like them. I like the actual cooking and behind the scenes stuff on cooking shows, the drama and reality tv crap – not so much. So my favorite chefs are the more introverted ones.

    2. Bobby Flay   10 years ago

      How you doin’, Kristen?

    3. Steve G   10 years ago

      Is he the guy with bleached spiky hair and goatee?

      1. Kaptious Kristen   10 years ago

        Thanks for making me remember the existence of Guy Fieri. Goddammit.

  54. adolphowisner   10 years ago

    My Aunty Mackenzie recently got a nearly new blue Toyota Venza by working part time online… website here ????????????? http://www.jobsfish.com

  55. SimonJester   10 years ago

    http://www.bizjournals.com/kan…..-uber.html

    Kansas City is trying to kick Uber out.

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