A.M. Links: Rand Paul Prepares to Launch Presidential Bid, Report Faults Rolling Stone UVa Rape Story, Obama Pushes Iran Deal

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  • According to a report by the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism, Rolling Stone's article "A Rape on Campus" failed to follow "basic, even routine journalistic practice" when reporting on an alleged sexual assault at the University of Virginia. Rolling Stone has retracted the story.
  • President Barack Obama is urging Congress to accept his administration's preliminary nuclear agreement with Iran, calling the proposed deal a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity.
  • John Oliver, the host of HBO's Last Week Tonight, traveled to Russia to interview Edward Snowden. Their conversation aired last night.

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  1. Rand Paul is set to launch his 2016 presidential campaign tomorrow.

    NEW FRONTRU- well, no, not him.

    1. I eagerly await his “I’m running for President because my mom loved Aqua Buddha” ad.

    2. Hello.

      Happy ‘Where the fuck did he go?’ day!

      1. If you were in the Czech Republich, you’d get to beat your wife today.

        1. Er, “Republic”.

          1. I liked it the first way better.

            More Nazi-ey!

    3. Wisconsin spoils Rand Paul – KY Wildcat victory announcement.

  2. Rolling Stone has retracted the story.

    “In our defense, you come to RS for journalism you get what you deserve.”

    1. That disclaimer should run at the bottom of all their stories.

      1. I wonder if any legit journalists will back away from any relationship with the publication because of this.

        1. Legit?

          PJ O’Rourke?

          Hunter S. Thompson?

          ummm… Help me out here.

          Matt Taibbi seems to be back-pedalling pretty hard.

          1. Taibbi’s stuff about Tom Friedman is hilarious.

            But what’s with the “I feel sorry for Jackie” shit?

            1. At this point I’m not convinced that Jackie didn’t make up the fact that she exists.

            2. I feel sorry for her because she has obvious emotional issues that everyone seems to just gloss over because might could have been raped or something.

          2. Your Matt Taibbi link is 4 mths old.

            1. Libertarian said @09:57:16:

              4 mths old

              At least that was a more relevant time for an apology

    2. I thought they only wrote about John Lennon, and like, Woodstock and stuff.

    3. Never forget as Irish says:

      “Hi Robby! Thanks for stopping by! One small correction: I don’t think you’ve ever “reported” a goddamn thing in your life. (And because I know you’re going to do this, either here or in my Twitter mentions, which you and your friends are currently stink-clouding up with your Feelings, I have a master’s degree in journalism from Columbia and I write investigative stories. Have done for years, both at Jezebel and before I got here. Thanks for asking!)

      Instead, I think, as I made clear above, that you’re piggy-backing on the work of other people who are calling Erdely’s story into question without a single shred of evidence. You don’t get brownie points for saying *IF* the story is true *THEN* UVA should have called the cops. That’s what any decent human being would suggest.

      But by all means, do some journalism! Follow up on those leads! Let’s see it! Can’t wait! ANNA MERLAN”

      Robby should ask Anna out and report back to us.

      1. Did he ask Anna out??

          1. I have it on good authority that that stare kills goats.

          2. Well yes, but I am probably not the best judge of such things because I am a fan of unfortunate tattoos. *drool.*

            1. Control yourself, man! Don’t do anything we’ll regret hearing about.

              1. Sugarfree can write about it. It will be beautiful. Time to update the ‘ol tinder profile.

                “quirky libertarian into unfortunate tattoos looking for some progressive spice.”

          3. She looks like a cheap CGI monster on a SyFy movie.

          4. Yes but I’d hate myself afterwards.

          5. Would I? Hell yes. Next question.

          6. yes. I would tap that until the heart attack set in. And then I would feel much shame.

            1. There’s going to be this weird statue-garden next to her place after she turns you all to stone with that stare.

              But thanks for asking!

            2. She’s tappable.

              Not saying I’d bring her home to meet momma, but she’s tappable.

              It’s all up to Robby if he’s willing to take one for the team and tell tales of his triumphs.

              1. What happened to “Never stick it in crazy”? You deserve what happens.

  3. BYOTP: Venezuelan hotels are asking tourists to bring their own toilet paper

    In Merida, a state in western Venezuelan that’s known for its stunning mountain landscapes, small hotels are struggling to stock their rooms with basic supplies, especially as the busy Semana Santa or Holy Week holiday gets underway.

    “It’s an extreme situation,” says Xinia Camacho, owner of a 20-room boutique hotel in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada national park. “For over a year we haven’t had toilet paper, soap, any kind of milk, coffee or sugar. So we have to tell our guests to come prepared.”

    1. I had asked who’d be vacationing in Venezuela, but it turned out to most be in-country tourists.

    2. I smell a Michael Moore documentary.

      1. Can you imagine the amount of tp he would have to bring along?

        1. I’d imagine some significant portion of his “documentary” dedicated to the fact that TP is a capitalist oprression and that not using TP is morally superior.

      2. “Rufus J. Firefly|4.6.15 @ 9:05AM|#
        I smell a Michael Moore documentary.”

        I see what you did there.

    3. “In the black market you have to pay 110 bolivares [$0.50] for a roll of toilet paper that usually costs 17 bolivares [$ 0.08] in the supermarket,” Camacho told Fusion. “We don’t want to participate in the corruption of the black market, and I don’t have four hours a day to line up for toilet paper” at a supermarket.

      So she likes the idea of price controls but doesn’t like the results? hmm. Wonder if she will learn a lesson from this?

      1. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!

      2. Hmm. $0.50 seems to be the clearing price of brand name tp in the US. I’m amazed that the market can price in all the risk for the same price in Venezuela.

    4. Just use Sean Penn.

      1. He’s into that.

      2. “straffinrun|4.6.15 @ 9:09AM|#
        Just use Sean Penn.”

        That would irritate my hemmorhoids.

    5. This story makes me wonder, how did the capitalist conspiracy manage to sabotage the people’s glorious toilet paper factories?

  4. Closing statements are expected today in the Boston Marathon bombing trial of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

    Is one of those statements going to be “So very dreamy!”?

    1. Why do they even bother? The whole thing seems rather pointless. Just ask the jury “so, do we kill this guy or not?”

      1. It’s not pointless. Even when guilt is blatantly obvious, there should be a trial – otherwise someday, they guys saying “guilt is obvious, no trial needed” will be saying it about an innocent man.

        1. otherwise someday, they guys saying “guilt is obvious, no trial needed” will be saying it about an innocent man.

          That’s already the norm in for federal kangaroo courts. What is it, like a 98% conviction rate for federal prosecutors nowadays? Our feds are either the most remarkably fastidious purveyors of justice the world has ever seen, or they are the most maniacal purveyors of injustice known to western civilization.

      2. Because, even terrorists have a right to due process of law. He has to have his chance to present evidence in his defense.

        1. I think you misunderstand me. Of course there should be a trial. And the defense gets a chance to present whatever they want/ But he admitted that he did it, so the prosecution could have kept it even briefer. There is no chance he isn’t at least locked up for the rest of his life.

          1. If the prosecution did that, I’d have to vote not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, because they failed to introduce into evidence enough evidence to get rid of reasonable doubt. Hammering down every coffin nail is just the requirement we should hold porsecutions to, even in the “obvious” cases.

            1. You are right, of course. It just seems like there weren’t a whole lot of nails to drive. And in high profile “obvious” cases like this, I can’t help but feel that it’s inevitably just a show anyway.

  5. Record Gasoline Output to Curb Biggest U.S. Oil Glut in 85 Years

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/…..n-85-years

    1. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

    2. BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLUUUUG

    3. So…

      More oil equals more gasoline refining? That’s some hard-hitting reporting right there, like Rolling Stone quality.

      I get it. You think this makes Obama (PBUH) look good, for reasons that the rest of us find inscrutable.

      Make sure to clean yourself off when you’re done.

      1. I’m pretty sure WTF’s retard manifesto is the only permitted reply to Lord Volde.. he who shall not be named.

        Don’t feed it, don’t acknowledge it.

      2. STOP FUCKING TALKING TO IT, YOU FUCKING MORON.

  6. Politifact: Gov. Scott Walker says he bought a sweater for $1 at Kohl’s

    Based on photos of Walker in the sweater, it appears to be a “Chaps Twisted Button Mock Sweater” in a color called “walnut twist.” We couldn’t find that sweater available on the Kohl’s web site, so we visited the Kohl’s store in Glendale to paw through the clearance racks.

    There we found plenty of Chaps sweaters marked between 80 and 90 percent off — an even deeper cut than the 70% Walker cited when describing the deal. Some of the sweaters we found were originally priced at $70 and marked down to $7.

    Now, that’s not $1. But Walker did say he used his “Kohl’s Cash” — a coupon of sorts that is generated based on how much a customer purchased in an earlier visit to the store.

    Thus, he could have easily gotten one for $1 out-of-pocket. We rate the claim True.

    1. Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick…. what comes after jumping the shark? Politifact is way past that.

    2. What the fuck? They actually looked into that? Given ALL THE BULLSHIT their leader and his party spews, they went with that?

      Wow.

      1. Politifact is apolitical, you imbecile.

        1. Um No. Just the fact that they pick choose statements to cover means it’s political.

        2. If this is sarcasm, or somebody trolling PB’s account, then +1.

          Otherwise, another new peak is achieved in total DERP.

          Either way, well done.

        3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

          *gasp

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        4. “Politifact is apolitical, you imbecile.”

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YES!!! Keep it up, dipshit!! You are the best!!

          Next explain how the repeal of Glass Steagall caused the 2008 crisis…

          Dipshit.

          1. PB doesn’t believe that it does. His idiocy is that he thinks federal housing policy had precious little to do with it.

        5. BUUUUUUUUTTTPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUG

        6. You have managed to outderp your own retardation.

          ‘Politifact is apolitical.’

          That is priceless.

          Jesus Christ.

          1. Saw him earlier riding around on, of all things, a pogo stick.

          2. You have managed to outderp your own retardation”

            STEALIN’ IT!!

        7. Politifact is apolitical, you imbecile.

          ha the funniest part is that you really believe that.

    3. So desperate for controversy. I bet Poltifact would have asked Jackie’s friends for a quote either.

    4. If you want to destroy my sweater
      Hold this thread as I walk away

    5. I would have figured he bought it at a “buy one, get a second of equal or lesser value for $1” sale.

      1. Kohls is pretty awesome if you hit up their clearence rack at just the right time. I once bought about 5 or 6 pairs of pants there for about $5 each. All originally retailed for around $60/$70.

        1. Just when I thought the comment section couldn’t get any weirder, we now offer shopping tips.

          1. Never try on a bathing suit without keeping your underwear on?

            1. I just buy ‘M’ with a chord and take my chances.

          2. Some of us have vaginas and need a little girl talk in our lives!

            1. Ponies and unicorns and ironing!

              1. I’m just going to say this one more time – you don’t iron horse hides. There are specialized machines for leather processing.

              2. Oh My!

            2. +1 Ed Gein’s Shoebox

              1. If you don’t know about Ed Gein do not – do not – research him.

  7. President Barack Obama is urging Congress to accept his administration’s preliminary nuclear agreement with Iran, calling the proposed deal a “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity.

    And the DoJ is ready to indict any in Congress who don’t think so.

    1. Surprising framing of the agreement – egocentric.

    2. And if you order now, he’ll not just provide the nuclear deal, but 2 deals – all you pay is the shipping and handling, as well as a $5 processing fee. Operators are standing by.

  8. Cop ‘can’t remember’ climbing on car hood and firing last 15 shots of 137-bullet barrage that killed unarmed couple (even though his footprints were found and his colleague says they talked about it)
    Cleveland, Ohio, officer Michael Brelo is facing two counts of manslaughter
    Timothy Russell, 43, and Malissa Williams, 30, killed during 2012 shooting
    Brelo’s footprints were found on hood of Chevy Malibu where they died
    Rookie said he learned about hood ‘because [Brelo] was talking about it’
    Judge will decide Brelo’s fate and he faces a max sentence of 25 years

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..d-car.html

    A judge – not a jury – will decide whether Brelo is guilty or innocent.

    I think we all know how this one is going to play out.

    1. I read a Judge Dredd short where he arrested another judge for excessive force for hitting a criminal who’d already surrendered. Wasn’t Dredd supposed to be an extremist parody of the US justice system? Why is the real one worse?

    2. That car looks like the bus at the end of The Gauntlet without the armor plating unfortunately.

      1. +1 Nag, nag, nag.

    3. The chase started with a failed traffic stop on the edge of downtown by a plainclothes detective who never reported to dispatchers that he’d lost sight of the vehicle.

      Russell then sped past Cleveland police headquarters, where his car backfired.

      Officers and witnesses standing outside were certain they’d heard gunshots and a police radio call for shots fired triggered an adrenaline-fueled rush by officers to join the chase.

      Brelo and his partner were two of the first officers to join the pursuit that ultimately included more than 60 police cars, 104 officers and reached at least 100mph.

      Sounds like what this guy is charged with (bad and unnecessary as it appears to have been) is hardly the biggest problem here. Sounds like a police riot caused by their being a bunch of dumb animals easily spooked by loud noises.

    4. I’m just relieved that those officers went home safely.

    5. MANSLAUGHTER!?!?!? Oh right, he was wearing a magical costume when he did it.

  9. Man dies during sex with scarecrow

    A man was found dead in his home after having sex with a scarecrow that he had dressed up in a wig, lipstick and strap-on sex toy.

    1. That took some courage

      1. He stuffed him good.

          1. He hit that straw man good?

            1. Not good enough. She won.

              1. “She”?

                1. C’mon, hamilton, it’s obviously a she. Look at her beguiling smile.

                2. You Cis-Het Shitlord.

      2. OMG can I get a narrow gaze over here!!!

      3. “That took some courage”

        Have a heart.

        1. Jesus, am I the only person who saw that fucking movie?

          1. “Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage!
            What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage!
            What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!
            What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage!
            What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage!
            What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?”

            1. Apes AND Hottentots?!?! Jesus, you racist fuck…

              1. The Cowardly Lion was racist?

                1. DUH!!!

      4. Or a brain.

      5. If he only had a brain?

      6. “If he only had a brain”

        1. /goddammit

    2. I would.

    3. *low whistle*

      Of all the ways to go, man. Should be one hell of an awkward funeral.

      1. Funeral pyre.

        1. Well, you could just tip the scarecrow over and use it for kindling. Call it sati if you want…

    4. Talking about raping a strawman.

      1. Shreeky does that ALL DAY LONG….

    5. “This would not be…a good death.”

  10. In a 2009 voter-registration application, obtained from the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, Mr. Bush marked Hispanic in the field labeled “race/ethnicity.”

    A Bush spokeswoman could offer no explanation for the characterization.

    Carolina Lopez, deputy supervisor of elections for Miami-Dade, said voters must submit hard copies of applications with a signature before receiving a voter information card confirming their address and polling location. According to the Florida Division of Elections, the application requires an original signature because the voter is swearing or affirming an oath.

    http://www.nytimes.com/politic…..oter-form/

    Ol’ Jeb don’t miss a thing.

    1. Marriage is a partnership. She took his name, he took her ethnicity.

      1. I eagerly look forward to the NYT’s examination of Fauxcahontas’ claim to be Native American in order to gain advantage in academia.

        1. He punched the wrong chad or something.

    2. I think everyone should start putting down the wrong race/ethnicity on all documents that ask for it. There aren’t legal definitions are there? So who is anyone to tell me that I am not Guatemalan and Sentinelese?

      1. And “self-identifying” seems to be a positive thing with the prog “in crowd”

        1. Hey, I’m all for it too. But for a rather different reason, I think. Allow everyone to be whatever they say they are and it will make it very difficult to maintain special legal victim classes and affirmative action and all that.
          Do that and encourage as many people as possible to breed with someone with different skin tone and pretty soon no one will know who to hate anymore.

      2. I think everyone should start putting down the wrong race/ethnicity on all documents that ask for it.

        It’s tempting. Every time I go to the ER at the hospital near my house, they demand to know racial and ethnic information claiming it’s a federal requirement. This is during triage.

        I’ve taken to answering “mongrel” and staring down the nurse. It may be affecting the quality of my care.

        Amusingly, the one time they didn’t ask it was when I brought my son in as he was going into anaphylactic shock.

        1. I got some extended census survey thing and told them my wife was Sentinelese. I wonder if anyone got the joke.

        2. I fuck with the admission nurse all the time too. One of them asked me if I practiced safe sex on a visit for a deer tick bite.

          I told her I was flattered, but I had a wife and wasn’t interested in stepping out on her.

          The nurse got pretty testy after that. She kept telling me that the questions were important. And this was early 2000’s, so it was just random nosiness, not some Obamacare shit.

          1. Here in MA the state mandates all sorts of questions.

            In my last physical, they asked me if I had ever felt depressed in the past year (mental health screening is the big fad).

            I said “Yes.”

            The PA got very excited. She said “when was that”.

            “Every time water starts dripping from my light fixtures, I get very depressed…” *

            PA started chuckling.

            “Every time they announce another blizzard is coming, I get anxious.”

            PA escalated to laughter.

            “Every time a snowplow plows me back in, I feel very angry at the world….”

            PA put down the clipboard and started wiping the tears from her eyes.

            It was a good day.

            * Those of you who are unfamiliar with the hell that are ice dams should count your blessings. An informal poll I conducted at work had 60% of the people in the breakroom dealing with them.

            Ice dams may result in leaks through the roofing material, possibly resulting in damaged ceilings, walls, roof structure and insulation, damage or injury when the ice dam falls off or from attempts to remove ice dams.

            1. I am very happy with my new roof that I built specially so I wouldn’t have to shovel it off or deal with ice dams.

            2. Did you get ass raped by one our Minnesoda ice dam companies?

              http://bringmethenews.com/2015…..-ice-dams/

              There was a big story on these companies earlier in the year because people were bitching about how much they charged. How the fuck could evil corporations have the gall to charge people a lot of money to remove ice dams?

          2. And the domestic violence questions too. Those are fun.

            If someone comes in with bruises all over saying “I fell”, yeah, you should probably ask some questions. When you come in with a kidney stone, not so much.

          3. The nurse got pretty testy after that.

            I believe it’s a job requirement that all desk nurses (bureaucrats in scrubs) be middle-aged women who’ve generally failed at life and have just recently got their shit together to become an registered nurse and have absolutely no people skills or anything resembling customer service ability.

    3. BUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTPPPPLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGG

    4. If someone can identify as any gender, regardless of whether or not they actually have a penis, why not do the same for ethnicity?

    5. Grasping at straws there PB? There’s plenty to complain about regarding Jeb Bush, but a form filled out six years ago?

      My wife is the offspring of a German-American whose ancestors emigrated before the revolution, and a recent immigrant from South America. She sometimes marks “Other”, sometimes “Hispanic”, and sometimes “Caucasian”.

      Who the fuck cares what JB marked six years ago to a stupid question?

  11. Why DO humans have such large penises?
    Difference in size between men and great apes may be a way of keeping cool

    ‘Why is ours the longest? It may be because we walk upright on two feet, making it more conspicuous to play a role in attracting more females.

    ‘Or perhaps it acts as a radiator, releasing heat when we walk and helping to keep our bodies cool’

    He added that the differences don’t just stop there though.

    The chimpanzee penis has spines on it, designed to temporarily injure females when they mate in order to delay her from mating with other males too soon.

    A study in 2011 discovered evidence to suggest humans once had spines on their penises, but evolved to make them smooth.

    1. “humans once had spines on their penises, but evolved to make them smooth.”

      So just what happened with Warty then?!

      1. Missing link.

        1. It’s really more of a series of Prince Alberts.

        2. I did not SugarFree the link… /derp joke

      2. Maybe he went to Warp 10? He is a giant salamander, right?

        1. I’d always assumed he was the chupacabra.

      3. “humans once had spines on their penises, but evolved to make them smooth reduce hand injuries?”

    2. The chimpanzee penis has spines on it

      Nature is a real bitch

      1. She can be a bit misogynist, yes.

    3. “You spineless dick motherfucker.” That’s what they should have replied to Chuck Heston.

      1. George Taylor: “I’m thirsty. Can I have something to drink?”

        Dr. Zaius: “I understand you’d rather have a bottle in front of you, but I have something else in mind.”

    4. Evolution is what made them smooth? I’m going with having hands and free time.

      1. So you’re a Lamarckian and not a Darwinist?

        1. I think Darwin jerked off more than Lamarck.

    5. I’d have thought the apes would have greater need of keeping cool, being all covered in fur.

      1. But because they primarily walk on all fours, their dick and balls hang down where they can get a breeze. Our two leggedness doesn’t alliw for that to easily.

      2. Don’t let reason get in the way of good anthropology.

  12. ‘All ******* must f****** hang’: Eight San Francisco police officers in line to be fired after vile racist texts exposed
    Officers suspended by Chief Greg Suhr with recommendation for firing
    Texts targeted blacks, Mexicans, Filipinos, gay men and women
    ‘It’s not against law to put an animal down,’ one said of black house guest
    Those facing termination include a captain and a sergeant
    Man with captain’s name was promoted after alleged homophobic incident where gay man says officers said he had ‘AIDS-infected pee’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..weets.html

    1. As long as they got home safely that night.

    2. Clearly it is a thin blue line between civil society and anarchy.

    3. “This is totally out of context. I was practicing for my role as Animal Mother in an amateur stage production of Full Metal Jacket! How dare I be fired for method acting!”

  13. “A majority of voters in three key swing states support legalizing marijuana, according to a new poll.”

    I’m guessing they’re not single issue voters. Their choice can be a drug warrior as long as he has the best hairdo and/or promises to hand out the best goodies.

    1. Is _this_ the Libertarian moment we’ve been waiting for? /just asking for a friend

  14. From the creator of Spot the Not comes the new game, Mix and Match. Match the speaker with the quote!

    Mix & Match

    Answers: Marion Barry, Sheryl Crow, John Kerry, Rod Blagoyevich, Al Gore, Bill Clinton

    1. I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a lot about Cuba’s healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?

    2. A zebra does not change its spots.

    3. I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.

    4. If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.

    5. African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.

    6. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

    1. I know 6 is Sheryl Crow. I remember a guy suggesting she come up to Maine for a traditional bean supper and use one square to wipe her ass. A square yard that is.

      1. Wow. She dumb. Well, all she wants to do is have fun I guess.

      2. And Crow wonders why no one will go down on her.

        1. ewwww /teenage girl

        2. I always figured it was the Lance Taint

      3. Why would anyone worry about that? Some people are a bit out of control with their toilet paper use, but those people use several yards per sitting.

        She must hate loggers.

    2. 1 Bill Clinton

      2 John F’in Kerry

      3 Rod Blagojevich

      4 Marion Barry

      5 Al Gore

      6 Sheryl Crow

    3. Marion Berry is number 4, right?

    4. Wow. That’s hard!

    5. 1- Crow
      2- Kerry
      3- Blago
      4-Barry
      5- Bubba
      6 – Gore

    6. Let’s see:

      1 – Bill Clinton

      2 – Al Gore

      3 – Blagojevich

      4 – Marion Berry

      5 – John Kerry

      6 – Sheryl Crow

      I’m willing to bet half of those are wrong.

    7. I will be very, very, VERY disappointed if number 3 isn’t Bill Clinton. Very.

    8. Solution

      1. John Kerry (also seen it attributed to John Edwards)

      2. Al Gore

      3. Rod Blagoyevich

      4. Marion Barry

      5. Bill Clinton

      6. Sheryl Crow

  15. Rainforests are being destroyed but the Earth is getting GREENER: Researchers reveal huge expansion in world’s trees
    Scientists in Australia analysed 20 years of satellite data on greenery
    Found there’s 4 billion tonnes more carbon stored by trees than in 2003
    Tree-planting in China, forest regrowth in former Soviet states and more lush Savannah due to higher rainfall are believed to be behind the rise

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..trees.html

    1. It’s almost like we live in a giant self regulated biosphere.

  16. Nevada’s Bunny Ranch brothel seeking paid ‘quality’ control testers

    Nevada’s famed Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel is on the prowl for official “quality” control testers who not only get paid to have sex with their prostitutes but to then evaluate their performance.

    “I’m looking for someone who’s fun, has some personality and wants to have a good time,” Dennis Hof, whose seven brothels make up 40% of North America’s legal bordellos and starred in the hit HBO series “Cathouse,” told the Daily News.

    The ideal candidate must have “stamina” as well, he added.

    1. The ideal candidate must have “stamina” as well

      Guess I’m out.

    2. Then he’s not looking for QA. If you wanted to check the quality of your services you’d send in the average business man – I’d assume 50-ish, not particularly attractive, a little boring, a little lonely.

      He’s likely looking for somebody to star in the reality TV shoots.

  17. Mix and Match!

    Answers: Jerry Falwell, George Bush, Dan Quayle, Gerald Ford, Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell

    1. If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.

    2. I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix.

    3. I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.

    4. Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.

    5. We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we’re having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS.

    6. Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant ? they’re quite clear ? that we would create law based on the God of the bible and the Ten Commandments.

    1. 1 Ford

      2 Quayle

      3 Booosh

      4 O’Donnell

      5 Falwell

      6 Palin

    2. Solution

      1. Gerald Ford

      2. Dan Quayle

      3. George W Bush

      4. Jerry Falwell

      5. Christine O’Donnell

      6. Sarah Palin

  18. Large Hadron Collider comes back to life: Machine is restarted following two years of upgrade work – and scientists hope to see dark matter for the first time
    The Large Hadron Collider has spent the past two years being upgraded
    It started operation again today and will soon have nearly twice as much energy as it used to
    The restart was delayed for nearly two weeks by a short circuit
    Scientists hope to unravel the mysteries of dark matter, which makes up 84% of the universe but has never been detected before

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..years.html
    I still can’t decide if that’s super cool or a super waste of money.

    1. It can be both cool and a waste of money at the same time.

      1. Yeah, it’s both. The pyramids come to mind.

        1. The pyramids have no utility except as a monument to the triumph of slavery over cannibalism as a superior mode of human interaction.

  19. My grandfather was the Nazi from ‘Schindler’s List’

    At 38, Teege, half-black, was just discovering an improbable truth: Her grandfather was a Nazi.

    “My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family’s Nazi Past” is Teege’s attempt to understand her ancestry and herself. First published in Europe in 2013, the book will be released here next week.

    It was her grandmother who took the most and best care of Teege, whose mother had abandoned her after giving birth. In 1970s Germany, it was common for struggling mothers to turn their children over to orphanages, which allowed liberal parental visitation. Monika herself was only 24 when she met Teege’s father, a student from Nigeria.

    She’d say, ‘You’re so similar.’ It’s not just good taste in clothes. It’s also: How would I behave during the war? Who am I? What are my moral values?”

    It’s a question that pervades Teege’s everyday life. Not much research has been done on the children and grandchildren of Nazi perpetrators, though some have intentionally remained childless.

    1. Not much research has been done on the children and grandchildren of Nazi perpetrators,

      Have they not heard of the Lebensborn?

    2. Speaking of Lamarckian evolution…

  20. Obama Announces Plan to Train 75,000 Solar Workers

    The White House has announced a goal to train 75,000 workers in the solar industry by 2020, many of them veterans. “These are good-paying jobs that are helping folks enter the middle-class,” President Barack Obama said on Friday at Hill Air Force Base in Utah. The plan will expand on the Department of Energy SunShot Initiative’s Solar Instructor Training Network currently running at more than 400 community colleges. The White House also announced the Solar Ready Vets program aimed at helping veterans transition into the solar industry. A joint program between the Department of Defense and the DOE, it’s currently being launched at 10 military bases across the country, including Hill Air Force Base and Camp Pendleton in California.

    1. Jobs program for the instructors.

      1. We passed tripling in 1977.

        Centupling is the official US stupid multiplier.

    2. Solar Ready Vets

      Sounds like some kind of Air Force space operations rocket squad

      1. Or a mission in Fallout 3.

        1. +1 Chinese-American Resource war

      2. Or alumni of the First Earth Battalion.

    3. File under ‘Things that won’t pan out as planned.’

      1. yeah I’m sure the market is just screaming for 75k solar technicians

        1. Sure, the following firms are hiring!

          Evergreen Solar, SpectraWatt, Solyndra, Beacon Power, SunPower, First Solar, Ener1, Abound Solar, Willard and Kelsey Solar Group, Brightsource, ECOtality, Stirling Energy Systems, Azure Dynamics, GreenVolts …

        2. It’s gonna be even worse. After they waste a shitton of money training a bunch of people to do something that clearly no one needs (since I don’t see big banner ads saying FREE TRAINING FOR THESE KEWL JERBS!!!), you can bet your soon-to-be-confiscated bottom dollar that they will then start handing out large stacks of trillion-dollar coins to random companies to encourage them to hire this newly-trained crack work force.

          I can’t decide if I should quit my job and go into this myself or if I should start a solar “company”.

          1. Scams are like bedding a tattooed writer working at Jezebel.

            Before the act, it seems like it could be a way to gain personal benefit while fucking over people you don’t respect: a fun conquest and a source of war stories while shooting the shit with your buddies over beers.

            After the fact, you won’t respect yourself and you will feel dirty.

            1. After the fact, you won’t respect yourself and you will feel dirty.

              Those trillion-dollar coins buy a lot of soap. Well, in today’s dollars. And not in Venezuela. Wait, what were we talking about again?

              1. Abandoning your kids and wife, looting your company, and restarting in Costa Rica under an assumed name to enjoy high-quality yet inexpensive women and alcohol?

                1. Huh. That’s a way better elevator pitch than I’d thought up; I’m stealing it.

            2. After the fact, you won’t respect yourself and you will feel dirty.

              Also, something about spines in her vagina being more evolved?

            3. After the fact, you won’t respect yourself and you will feel dirty.

              By Jezebel standards, feeling shame after the fact makes it rape and the person you fucked, of course, a rapist. Unless she doesn’t have a dick that is.

        3. Well, as long as the subsidies are there, there is some demand. Lot of people are putting solar panels on their homes and businesses.

          It’s still a terrible idea, but I’m sure a bunch of them will find jobs for a while until the subsidies get shifted to the next big thing, or the money runs out.

    4. WHY DOES OBAMA HATE OUR VETERANS?

      1. Exactly. Why does he want to train them in a field that has no hope of providing them an income?

      2. Dreams are a great thing, but you know something? They take a lot of energy. But that’s OK. There’s a job waiting for you down the block from your house that doesn’t require a thought in your head or a hope in your heart. So come on down and work for the artificial flower factory. Why fight it? OK? Thank you.

      3. BUUUUUTTPLUUUUUUUUUUUG

    5. to train 75,000 workers in the solar industry

      Proffessional Tanning?

      /George Hamilton approves

  21. meanwhile in Canada:

    Rent the Chicken program expands to Toronto

    Wannabe farmers can rent two or four chickens. The company provides them with a portable chicken coop, food, and food and water dishes.

    People keep their chickens for six months, and the hens lay between eight and 28 eggs a week ? depending on how many birds the person has.

    After six months, the company takes the chickens back for the colder months. Hens typically lay fewer eggs during the winter. Once the spring returns, customers can once again rent their chickens.

    1. Bah. I’ll just use them as props to annoy my neighbors.

      1. Do they cluck en fran?ais?

          1. Arrested is harsh. We’re not animals.

            They’ll be fined or be given a stern lecture about speaking English to a French-Canadian is disrespectful.

            1. Insisting I use frog talk in North America is disrespectful. Do any of these Quebecis not speak English?

              1. Laugh but I’ve witnessed them demand some poor cashier in Florida speak to them in French. ‘Why doesn’t anyone speak French?’

                It’s strange. While we tend to answer them back here we really unload on them whenever we see them carry their hillbilly nationalism to the USA.

                1. I’ve never seen that, but it does seem that half of Quebec comes down here for the winter. Not the most interactive group of visitors, that’s for sure. And bad drivers – this in the land where bad drivers from around the world come to meet. Kinda slow and bad. They fit in perfectly in Boca Raton where a major portion of the drivers come from New York City and got their first driver’s license in their late 60’s.

                  I initially had a hard time figuring out where all of the pudgy, pasty French people on the beach were coming from…. then I saw a couple of them hopping into cars with Quebec license plates.

                  1. They’re impatient drivers. Pedestrians don’t have the right of way here.

                    Maybe you haven’t seen it because you don’t speak French. They say it among themselves, say in a line at grocery store, and we pretend to not be from Quebec and understand what they’re saying. Happens more than you think.

                    And my buddy (from Montreal) who has lived in Florida for the last 25 years has even juicier stories.

                    I feel bad gossiping like this because as a whole they’re alright. I just loathe the PQ union-nationalist type. Bunch of complaining xenophobes.

        1. No, the Quebecis determined that would be discriminatory by accusing them of cowardice.

        2. If they don’t, it’s coq au vin.

    2. “and the hens lay between eight and 28 eggs a week ? depending on how many birds the person has.”

      That sounds like a common core question.

    3. Once the spring returns, customers can once again rent their chickens.

      Same chickens or similar chickens?

    4. Tom Waits had this on his business card in Mystery Men.

    1. Not a good way for him to go out, but if he’s out then all the better.

    2. Jeb is like a lanced boil that refuses to drain properly.

    3. Was it a hanging chad issue?

    4. Did he have to show ID?

  22. Don’t Be Fooled: Hillary Is Way to Bill’s Left!

    One of these Clintons is not like the other.

    As the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign behemoth gets seemingly closer to raising itself and beginning its plod toward its great Philadelphia coronation, Republicans are giddy at the prospect of being able to remind Americans about the return of Clintonism. They should stop it, now, for three reasons.

    First, while many Republicans never liked Bill Clinton and do not have universally positive memories of the mid- to late-90’s, many Americans?including conservatives and libertarians? look back on that period with fondness and nostalgia.

    1. Hillary isn’t anything but what the polls tell her to be.

      1. No, that’s Bill’s game and he’s good at it.

        Hillary occasionally tries to play the political chameleon but the fact is she sucks at it because she thinks she knows better than anyone so even when the Polls try to tell her which way to go she usually can’t do it.

    2. It was a neutered if not mediocre time.

  23. Vox: Don’t underestimate Marco Rubio

    The Republican establishment has been bombarded with a “shock and awe” campaign to cast Jeb Bush as the frontrunner for the party’s nomination. And that’s cast Rubio ? another Florida Republican with Latino appeal and skepticism from the base ? into the shadows as an also-ran.

    But in conversations with conservative policy experts and Democratic Senate staff who’ve worked with Rubio on legislation, and Republican funders and local officials who’ve seen him in action on the campaign trail, one thing is clear: even a lot of people who aren’t supporting Rubio for president think that, both as a policy mind and a political talent, he is a force to be reckoned with.

    1. Ol’ Jeb is Hispanic too!

      1. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTPLUUUUUUUUUUUUUGG

    2. Ugh.

      1. Oh come now, Vox is playing this straight down the middle!

  24. Greece moves to quell default fears, pledges to meet ‘all obligations’

    Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis said on Sunday that Greece “intends to meet all obligations to all its creditors, ad infinitum,” seeking to quell default fears ahead of a big loan payment Athens owes the IMF later this week.

    Following a meeting with the head of the International Monetary Fund, Varoufakis told reporters the government plans to “reform Greece deeply” and would seek to improve the “efficacy of negotiations” with its creditors.

    Greece has not received bailout funds since August last year and has resorted to measures such as borrowing from state entities to tide it over. It offered a new package of reforms last week in the hope of unlocking funds, but has yet to win agreement on the proposals with its EU and IMF lenders.

    1. Greece will have to sell itself to Goldman Sachs who will then sell it to a private equity group that will have to turn the whole country into a theme park.

    2. I think we have a new winner in the “political leader who abandons his popular but idiotic campaign promises the fastest” sweepstakes.

      1. Seriously.

  25. The Ongoing War Against Christianity

    http://townhall.com/columnists…..y-n1980607

    Poor wingnut Christians. So persecuted here in the USA. No political power. No public support. Such mistreatment.

    1. Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!

    2. BBUUUUUUUUTTTTPPPLLUUUUUUUUUUGG

  26. A gun lover sees the evils of gun culture: White supremacists, Obama haters, and me

    It was all there: From sub-machine guns like the one brandished by FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover in a famous photo to $10,000 skeet guns to modern 1000-round-per-minute machine guns displayed from countless racks and shelves, and camouflaged sniper rifles set on tripods on the counter so one could see up-close a weapon that can put five bullets into someone’s eye from 1500 yards away.

    Are there any civilian snipers, I wondered?

    This was surely madness. As I surveyed this veritable black hole of potential human destruction, I thought that something must be amiss. This was massive overkill for even the most aggressive “sportsman” gun enthusiast. Guns and shooting were starting to feel less like a harmless pastime and becoming something unmistakably sinister to me. The staff here was also wearing sidearms, and when I asked what they were protecting themselves from, I got the same response: “From whatever.” So it was a script.

    1. “Are there any civilian snipers, I wondered?”

      Lee Boyd Malvo and John Allen Muhammad. Noted white supremacists and righties!

      1. They are white african americans.

      2. Are we discounting Whitman and Oswald because the Service taught them to shoot?

        1. Outstanding! They just showed what could be accomplished by a motivated Marine and his rifle!”

          1. +1 Full Metal Jacket

    2. Stay way from the military and live war zones, buddy.

    3. He thought a crappy range in South Philly was going to be an idyllic trip down memory lane.

    4. God what a bullshit article.

      “A gun lover-” LEMME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. First lie is at 3 words in – how factual do you think the rest of the article is.

      Dude makes it apparent from the get go that he dislikes guns and is growing to hate them…

    5. This was massive overkill for even the most aggressive “sportsman” gun enthusiast. Guns and shooting were starting to feel less like a harmless pastime and becoming something unmistakably sinister to me.

      Fuck you, asshole. Who made you the arbiter of shooting sports enjoyment? How many people can even own “1000-round per minute” machine guns? What fraction of people that buy high-caliber rifles plan on using them to kill innocent people or *gasp* overthrow the government? Probably close to zero, in my estimation.

      People buy elaborate, expensive guns because it’s fun to own and shoot elaborate, expensive guns. Gun collectors differ from stamp collectors only in that the objects of their admiration are instruments of war, which may be a macabre distinction, but I’d wager the one group is no more violent than the other.

      1. 1000rpm, unless we’re talking gatling guns, there are only a handful of models that are even built to fire that fast (ie MG 42). It melts the barrels too readily and pisses away ammo without really improving effectiveness. Now there are civilian owned miniguns which go 3000rpm, but that’s over six barrels, so that’s only 500rpm per barrel. And with the limited number on the market, those range in the quarter million dollars a unit in terms of price tag.

        1. My thoughts exactly. Even assuming the author was considering submachine guns (distinctly different from “machine guns”), I doubt there’s any 1000+ rpm models that just anyone would be allowed to own. The article reeks of bullshit.

          1. just anyone would be allowed to own.

            or want to. The ammo cost alone would break ya

        2. First Gen M249s can get that high if you cranked the gas pressure all the way up. Nobody does it because it’s a waste of ammo you have to change barrels more often.

          I’ve never seen one in civilian hands.

      2. I know someone with a very nice 50 cal sniper rifle. Only rarely been used at the range. And it is a whole lot of fun to shoot. I don’t expect it would ever be used against a living target of any sort, and neither does the owner.

        Being able to hit a target that you can’t really even see without a scope is its own reward. Having enough money to plop down more than 5 bucks every time you pull the trigger is a serious limiting factor on this type of weapon, even if they didn’t cost as much as a Harley motorcycle.

    6. “I was a libertarian in my foolish youth, until Salon showed me the light…”

      1. “I read Ayn Rand in elementary school, but than I grew up.”

        -Salon Commentator (who believes Ayn Rand is the title of a book.)

        1. Salon is far more intellectual and growns up than some sort of silly Ayn Rand novel, with gulch’s and buildings and such.

    7. I linked this earlier this week, but it seems derpworthy of another go. I’d have bought a gun from them just to put it in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to listen to them anymore.

      http://www.adweek.com/news/adv…..nyc-163523

    8. though she and I were animals lovers

      I love ’em too, esp, backstrap a la sous vide. What? I’m no savage!!

    9. Are there any civilian snipers, I wondered?

      Yes. At the FBI and many other police agencies.

  27. Beware the Silicon Valley elite: Ayn Rand, Google libertarianism and Indiana’s “religious freedom”

    The idea that engineers could successfully run government, even if they wanted to, took a beating with the presidency of Herbert Hoover, the nation’s first and so far only Engineer in Chief. A further blow to engineering credibility came several decades later when uber-technocrat Robert McNamara unleashed mountains of precision analysis against the pesky guerrilla fighters hiding in the jungles of Vietnam. In 1962 McNamara returned from his first tour of the Asian theater brimming with confidence. “Every quantitative measurement we have shows we are winning this war,” he said.

    It’s likely that the hacker mind-set ? rebellious, but narrowly focused ? explains why the programming elite of Silicon Valley haven’t been, heretofore, especially active politically, which isn’t to say the technocratic mind-set isn’t alive and well there. Google’s Eric Schmidt and Netscape founder Marc Andreessen are among those who believe that technology is well on its way to solving all our problems, if only government will get out the way, and government increasingly shows signs of agreeing with them.

    1. The technocratic approach to government and the ability of technology to provide our every desire and eliminate the need for labor is a long-standing pillar of the communist manifesto, not libertarianism.

    2. Herbert Hoover, the nation’s first and so far only Engineer in Chief.

      Wasn’t carter an engineer?

      1. Nuclear Physics IIRC

      2. YAH.
        nuke engineer.

        1. Ok, Carter was a navy nuke, and though he worked in engineering, he wasn’t what a civilian thinks of when they say “engineer”

          In the Navy, an engineer = someone who is involved in maintaining and operates the engines.

          Unless posted to Naval Reactors or Navsea, a navy nuke isn’t doing engineering. He or she is operating and maintaining reactor powered propulsion plants.

          1. Point taken, but as a layman, I will say that someone “operating and maintaining [nuclear] reactor powered propulsion plants” IS engaging in “engineering”…

          2. “In the Navy, an engineer = someone who is involved in maintaining and operates the engines.”

            Not just the Navy. Choo choo trains as well.

    3. Are Salon headlines created by a trained manatee? Like: , , , submit.

      1. Weird HTML thing. The headlines are basically: (Scary, right-wing person), (Topic), (Current event), submit!

        Thus we get something like: The Koch Brothers, Rape Culture, and Ted Cruz’s campaign

    4. “The idea that engineers could successfully run government, even if they wanted to, took a beating with the presidency of Herbert Hoover, the nation’s first and so far only Engineer in Chief. ”

      Hilarious – this one guy not being a great president shows that no engineers would ever make good presidents.

      It can’t be because of the personal failings of Hoover, it’s because engineers are politically incompetent as a class based on one data point.

      1. Hoover was a truly brilliant Engineer and mine manager. His crazy stupid blind spot was that he never realized you can’t manage the economy like a mine. He kept trying and kept failing.

        Coolidge probably wasn’t as smart, but he was infinitely wiser.

  28. Paul Krugman: Uh-oh, we’re just this screwed
    Austerity failed, yet Britain’s conservatives might be rewarded. There’s a lesson for us, Paul Krugman argues today

    Krugman’s looking at the disastrous austerity policies of the British government, which stalled growth as well as personal incomes. Taken as a whole, he argues, the ruling conservative party has done worse with the economy that the country’s leadership did during the Great Depression.

    But the “startlingly bad” record has begun to even out in recent months, just in time for an election, and for conservatives to argue that they are the stewards of prosperity. Nice try, argues Krugman, who wonders how they might possibly be getting away with it. He writes:

    Well, you could blame the weakness of the opposition, which has done an absolutely terrible job of making its case. You could blame the fecklessness of the news media, which has gotten much wrong. But the truth is that what’s happening in British politics is what almost always happens, there and everywhere else: Voters have fairly short memories, and they judge economic policy not by long-term results but by recent growth. Over five years, the coalition’s record looks terrible. But over the past couple of quarters it looks pretty good, and that’s what matters politically.

    1. Krugman’s looking at the disastrous austerity policies of the British government, which stalled growth as well as personal incomes

      I think the collapse of the English economy has everything to do with their adoption of Obama-style energy poverty.

      Krugman demonstrates yet again that an econ education at Princeton is about as meaningful and creditworthy as an astrophysics degree from Bob Jones university.

      1. To be fair, Krugnuts did do some good work in the 90s. Problem is he hasn’t practiced economics in twenty years.

      1. Fiscal Year bn %GDP

        2000-01 341.5 34.5
        2001-02 389.2 37.7
        2002-03 420.9 38.5
        2003-04 455.2 39.3
        2004-05 492.5 40.5
        2005-06 523.7 41.2
        2006-07 550.2 40.9
        2007-08 583.7 41.0
        2008-09 630.8 44.5
        2009-10 671.5 47.7
        2010-11 692.4 46.8
        2011-12 693.6 45.4
        2012-13 674.3 43.1
        2013-14 719.9 44.4
        2014-15 731 43.3

        1. So, for one year the center column went down, then jumped to even higher than before? That’s not austerity, that’s a statistical anomaly.

          1. It’s always austerity in Krugabe’s world

          2. It’s Krugman. I think the real Paul Krugman could be dead, and his wife is collecting his social security checks and salary while writing unhinged articles that are so terrible that real economists don’t even consider them worthy of anything more than a cursory debunking while the low info types drink them in credulously.

            The real Krugman’s corpse might turn up in a trunk in the attic.

            1. Week-end At Krugman’s!

              Who will play Kroooogman?

  29. Recipe for a Krugman column:
    1) Assert that the government should spend more money.
    a) if things get better, declare victory and validation of your public policy
    b) if things get worse, claim that the government didn’t spend ENOUGH money
    2) Repeat step one

    I defy you to show me a Krugman column that does not do exactly that. He has been writing the same column FOR FUCKING YEARS….

  30. David Brody agrees – Rand Paul a phoney libertarian:

    Paul also has been trying to find common cause with evangelical Christian voters, who have been skeptical of and even hostile toward the energized libertarian element of the GOP.

    “The First Amendment says keep government out of religion. It doesn’t say keep religion out of government,” he told a group of pastors at a private breakfast on Capitol Hill on March 26.

    His tone was a signal, wrote David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network, that “this is not some ‘crazy libertarian’ who wants to distance himself from faith-and-government issues.”

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..story.html

    1. So your out on him?

      1. No. I still want a Rand Paul vs Schweitzer general.

        Slim to no chance though.

        1. Can we finally get someone who wears a bolo tie involved in national politics; it’s time has come.

        2. BUUUUUUUTTTPLUUUUUUUUGGGGGG

    2. BBUUUUUTTTTPPPPLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

    1. Nice. Imagine if the Union had imposed massive reparations on the Confederacy.

  31. TNR: Lee’s Surrender Should Be A National Holiday

    To mark the occasion, the federal government should make two modest changes: It should make April 9 a federal holiday; and it should commit to disavowing or renaming monuments to the Confederacy, and its leaders, that receive direct federal support.

    [snip]

    The federal government can’t change that on its own, but it can refuse to participate in the celebration. It could rename these 10 army installations after Union fighters. It could remove monuments to the Confederacy (as opposed to museums and landmarks) from the National Register of Historic Places, and disclaim any obligation to finance their maintenance. It could stop producing headstones for Confederate graves?as Steven I. Weiss documented in The Atlantic, the feds process nearly 2,000 of these a year, at a cost of half a million dollars, leaving taxpayers to foot the bill for maintaining more Confederate graves and monuments than Union ones. It could remove the Confederate Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery and place it in the custody of the Smithsonian?or at least end the spectacle of the president of the United States bestowing it with a wreath every Memorial Day. We aren’t being polite to anyone worthy of politeness, or advancing any noble end, by continuing to honor traitors in this way.

    Damnatio memoriae!

    1. Something something control the past

    2. Remember when TNR was interesting because they periodically published articles that were contrary to leftist group think?

      Now the only person on that website with any ideas that differ even slightly from leftist orthodoxy is Elizabeth Stoker Breunig, and she has the distinction of taking leftist claptrap and somehow making it worse by adding religious fundamentalism.

      1. And she is gorgeous.

        1. Get a hold of yourself, man! Elizabeth Stoker Breunig looks like a 14 year old.

          Between her and Merlan, do you just have some sort of bizarre fetish for ridiculously stupid leftists? Does the idea of getting into violent shouting matches make you attracted to someone?

          1. You are the one with the little obsession with her; I just appreciate her good looks.

          2. And don’t forget that adorable dead tooth.

            1. I am also attracted to Maureen Ponderosa, so that makes sense.

              1. Crusty. I dated good-looking leftists in my day.

                There’s so much of their projecting and presumptuous drivel you can take no matter how skillful they are at pleasuring you.

          3. Does the idea of getting into violent shouting matches make you attracted to someone?

            We’re libertarians; if this weren’t true there’d be no mating opportunities.

            1. ah the ol’ “hate fuck”.

    3. There’s a reason Lincoln wanted to treat the defeated Confederates as gently as he could. Perhaps this Brian Butler is ignorant enough to have never heard of the treaty of Versailles, or to not understand that people take symbols of their ancestors’ wars really seriously. Maybe he’s dumb enough to not grasp the fact that defacement of symbols is something that people take very seriously. Or maybe he understands these things and he just wants to ritually humiliate people he hates. Either way, what an asshole.

    4. Keep your damned dirty hands off my Nathan Bedford Forrest park!

      Seriously, what is the over/under of progs demanding that the Confederacy be airbrushed out of history completely.

      Within a 100 years will Abe Lincoln only be remembered for freeing the slaves? Which he will have done out of the goodness of his heart and nothing else happened during his presidency?

    5. It could rename these 10 army installations after Union fighters.

      Just leave them as is. The derogatory nicknames for those shitholes eviscerates whatever honor it might seem to be.

      Don’t tell the author about the Confederate lineage of southern states’ National Guard regiments.

    1. I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the death to keep it off my cake.

    2. Ruth Gutscher Joseph ? 10 hours ago

      No one said it was .. but it still has no place in a place of business that serves the public,you don’t want to serve everyone,then make your business private and do what you want .. we have laws for a reason in this country
      ? Reply?Share ?

      1. Sounds like another Ruth we know.

  32. Thank God for 23&me;. I can now quantify my White Privilege to precisely 98.9%!!
    …but rest assured, the next application I fill out will account for my 0.7 sub-Saharan African heritage.

  33. Minneapolis cops need more training.

    http://www.myfoxtwincities.com…..ing-arrest

    Mylan Masson, a former Minneapolis Police Officer, now teaches at the Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Education Center in Brooklyn Park.

    “We teach the students to be polite, and we always say sir and ma’am,” she said.

    Masson said the other officers in the video did just that, but the lone officer heard using profanities and making a threat is not the way police are trained to handle traffic stops.

    “I certainly would want to know the whole call and see what happened, what provoked him or her to do something and then to retrain them and then say this is not appropriate,” Masson said.

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