U.S. Slows Troop Withdrawal from Afghanistan, Senators Battle Over Pot, Charter Schools Excel After All: P.M. Links

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NEXT: The X-Files Is Coming Back

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  1. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return for an X-Files miniseries in which they discover-

    The revenue stream is out there.

    1. Unfortunately, they’ll have to replace Smoking Man with Celery Man though.

      1. No they don’t. The Smoking made him extra Evil.

      2. Vaping man?

      3. They’ll have to kick up the 4d3d3d3.

    2. Has there been any semi-decent television scifi since BSG and Stargate went off the air?

      1. Has there been any since Star Trek went off the air?

        1. I hope you’re not counting Voyager and Enterprise.

      2. Continuum and Orphan Black are great, and Person of Interest may be the best science fiction TV show of all time.

        1. Ugh, Continuum’s politics suck big, saggy, hairy balls, (at least in the first season).

          1. It becomes much more complex as it goes on, good and evil become very grey concepts.

            Also, Black Mirror is very good. Not every episode knocks it out of the park, but when they are good they are very, very good.

            1. Yeah, I like Black Mirror. The first episode was over the top.

              1. And the one about recorded memory playback was excellent as well.

          2. Agreed. But I’m not going to let that take away from an excuse to watch Rachel Nichols in skin-tight outfits. And Lexa Doig.

            It’s an entertaining show, with very few good guys. Too bad there’s only a 6-episode wrap up for the final season.

        2. Person of Interest was scifi? They sure botched the advertising if they wanted me to watch, then.

      3. BSG was a disaster. I didn’t watch Stargate past the first season, when I realized Spader wasn’t going to be in it.

        1. Spader came on in the 2nd season.

        2. Eh, Stargate’s big thing is that it was ‘fun’ scifi. It’s great to see a series where some ‘ultimate evil’ villain is lecturing on how he’s the destroyer of worlds and such…then the protagonist constantly mocks him and refuses to take him seriously.

          BSG was pretty good until they got off ‘Planet Palestine’ and then it was downhill from there.

      4. Probably not since BSG. Looking forward to this though.

        http://www.syfy.com/theexpanse

  2. Venezuela’s teetering socialist government is going old school as it loses support?President Nicolas Maduro called out the military for maneuvers and maybe a little fun in the streets.

    Old school? I’m pretty sure that’s the only school.

  3. Mastectomies on the rise in Venezuela amid economic crisis

    “We’re practicing medicine from the 1940s here, and we know that’s not right,” [Oncologist Gabriel] Romero said.

    Won’t someone please think of the Venezuelan boobies?

    1. For some reason, I thought Venezuela led the world in per capita breast enhancement surgeries.

      1. Given that it is a socialist state with total equality, I fully expect Comrade Maduro to pass a law outlawing breast enhancement surgeries, and reducing all women to A-cup by force if necessary.

        1. They can stuff their bras with toilet paper…wait

        2. I would make a joke about how urgent it seems now, but I hate fake boobs.

          1. They really are not appealing

            1. If they’re done tastefully

              1. Well that just screams daddy issues, now doesn’t it?

                1. Some things aren’t worth trying to understand. I know gross when I see it.

        3. Look. This is all Western propaganda. America has all sorts of poverty problems too. It’s not so bad. So what you have to wait in line? We wait for health care in Canada all the time.

          WHAT’S YOUR POINT?

    2. Wow. What they’re saying is that they have no chemo so have to do mastectomies and hope they get everything, which means going radical.

      1. All Venezuelan women are equal to Angelina Jolie.

  4. Venezuela’s teetering socialist government is going old school as it loses support?President Nicolas Maduro called out the military for maneuvers and maybe a little fun in the streets.

    What do we want? What do we want?

    Toilet paper! Toilet paper!

  5. Senators Rand Paul, Cory Booker, and Kirsten Gillibrand face off against the prohibitionist dinosaurs on the Senate Judiciary Committee…

    In DC, the dinosaurs always win.

    1. My goodness. One of my senators does something I agree with.

      1. Which one is it? Booker or Gillibrand?

        1. Gillibrand.

          So I’ve also got *uck Schumer as a senator.

    2. I suggest an asteroid solution.

      1. I like your style.

    3. Technically, isn’t Kirsten Gillibrand herself a prohibitionist dinosaur given her stance on campus sex?

      1. Isn’t goodsex copulation done solely for the purpose of creating children for the service of the state? She should be in favor of atleast that.

  6. More U.S. troops will remain in Afghanistan for longer than originally anticipated, says President Obama.

    The good war gets the grease.

  7. Urban charter schools outperform traditional public schools, reports a Stanford University study

    Boston-area residents favor life in prison over the death penalty for accused bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

    Why sentence him to prison when you can send him to a public school and keep him in the 8th grade forever?

    1. Cruel and unusual?

      1. I agree on the cruel part, but it’s not really unusual given how many millions of kids are put through government school every year!

  8. Boston-area residents favor life in prison over the death penalty for accused bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

    Well, the bomber is Caucasian, after all.

    1. from the Caucasus region…those dirty caucasussers

    2. Is he a white caucasian?

  9. Jupiter may be behind “gaping hole” in solar system

    huh…I would have thought Uranus the more likely candidate for the gaping hole

    1. When astronomers began studying other solar systems in the Milky Way galaxy back in the 1990s, they noticed something peculiar: most of these systems have big planets that circle their host stars in tight orbits.

      The exoplanets they found first were the easiest ones to find: big planets in tight orbits around their stars. It’s more than a little premature to start wondering what’s peculiar with our solar system.

      1. Yeah sense they basically measure the star’s “wobble” as another body orbits around it, it’s easier to detect “hot jupiters” which would have a larger impact, then say a tiny Mercury sized object in the same orbit.

        It does surprise me that they discovered so many “hot jupiters” though.

      2. Yeah, I thought the same thing when I saw this on io9–we’re only seeing what’s easy to see. Actually, I often think of the giant hole in any io9 science post. I’m beginning to really dislike people who run around saying “Science is cool” as some sort of odd status statement, rather than actually liking, understanding, and using science.

        1. Does this mean you don’t love science sexually?

          1. Indeed, I do not. Science is a tool, like mirrors on the ceiling.

            1. Pink champagne on ice?

              1. Oh, I wouldn’t go there. They aren’t a popular band hereabouts.

                1. Then you shouldn’t have brought them up.

                  1. Well, it’s not like they invented mirrored ceilings. I never even thought about them or their song when I typed that.

                    1. I know. That’s why my joke works. Or was supposed to anyway…

                    2. Putting that song in people’s heads legally constitutes assault.

                    3. But…you put it in my head to begin with…

                      OMG, guys, I’m gonna be suing Pro L for Involuntary Californication. Anybody know a good lawyer?

                    4. There are no good lawyers.

                    5. Californication. He’s a Pepper not an Iggle.

      3. Well Jupiter has been useful mainly as an ‘asteroid shield’ for Earth, partially blocking it from major collisions and allowing early life to form. Some scientists argue that outer gas giants are a good indicator for the potential for life as a result.

    2. Where’s that Swiss guy when you really need him?

  10. I’m incredibly proud of myself on my taxes this year. I’m not done with them, but when all is said and done I’m going to be plus or minus $50 or less. First time since the kid was born that I’ve gotten things to where I’m not giving the government a loan.

    1. I got a lot back. I had another kid and forgot to adjust the withholdings, among other things.

      I love the turbo tax question “Would you like to apply this refund towards your 2015 taxes?”

      Fuck no, I wouldn’t. I’m going on a nice vacation.

      1. I still have to sit down and do mine.

        Should be easy, though! First year I get to fill out the simple form!

        1. Clock’s ticking.

          I just got my wire transfer last week. If only a were a hookers and blow kind of guy.

        2. Oh, and thanks for subsidizing my kids, non-breeder.

          1. “Clock’s ticking.” “Subsidizing my kids.”

            Hey! I’m still years away from panicking right before menopause and finding a sperm donor.

            1. Isn’t it comforting to know that men can sell their sperm but women can’t rent their wombs? Oops, wrong article.

    2. Sucker. I did my taxes over a year ago.

      1. You are a few weeks early with that…

    3. For the 4th consecutive year I (now we) got just as much back from the Feds as I owe to the state. Hooray college reimbursement!

    4. Gwtting $50 back Federally, but owe $300something to the fuckers in Sacramento…

  11. http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/popp/150323

    Mr. Parr says that libertarianism is built on the “NAP,” the “Non-Aggression Principle.” This may be a fine standard on which to build a political philosophy, but it is not a sufficient ground on which to build a government. Governments must be interested in harm, which is the term I used. Let’s say that Farmer Brown sprays pesticide on his crops, and this pesticide makes its way into the river, and this water is consumed by a pregnant woman whose baby is malformed by the tiny bit of poison in the water. Has Farmer Brown attacked this baby? No. He’s not even aware of its existence. But government has an obligation to prevent that harm.

    Given that harm is the true issue for government, I asked whether libertarianism doesn’t assume the non-existence of God, or something close to that. I brought up the example of Sodom. Here I may not have been clear in my original article, and I assume responsibility for Mr. Parr’s misunderstanding. Let me say it this way: There is a God. God brings harm to societies that condone sin. Governments must try to prevent harm to their citizens, whether that harm takes the form of an epidemic or a military invasion or an economic collapse or something else. If all these things are true, then a libertarian government is by nature a dysfunctional government. It cannot protect citizens from the biggest Danger of all.

    Discuss.

    1. “Let’s say that Farmer Brown sprays pesticide on his crops, and this pesticide makes its way into the river, and this water is consumed by a pregnant woman whose baby is malformed by the tiny bit of poison in the water. Has Farmer Brown attacked this baby? No. He’s not even aware of its existence. But government has an obligation to prevent that harm.”

      This is hysterical coming from the same progressives who want literally no limitations to abortion to such an extent that women would be allowed to outright murder a baby 3 weeks before its birth.

      I’m pro-choice early in the pregnancy, but there comes a point where progs are outright advocating child murder, yet they whine about the possibility of a deformity. Okay.

      1. Oh fuck, I should have read the second paragraph. This is a crazed SoCon. Disregard the above.

        Although this:

        ” I asked whether libertarianism doesn’t assume the non-existence of God, or something close to that. I brought up the example of Sodom. Here I may not have been clear in my original article, and I assume responsibility for Mr. Parr’s misunderstanding. Let me say it this way: There is a God. God brings harm to societies that condone sin. Governments must try to prevent harm to their citizens, whether that harm takes the form of an epidemic or a military invasion or an economic collapse or something else.”

        Is just…it’s immensely stupid. If God brings harm to societies that condone sin, then why should governments prevent harm to their citizens? If God is making that harm happen, then surely it is against God’s will to intervene in his righteous destruction of sinners, correct?

        1. There is a God. God brings harm to societies that condone sin.

          I think his point is that governments should be in the business of preventing sin.

          TEH GEY WILL KILL US ALL!

          1. What I got from it is that the good government of Sodom should have killed God to protect the residents?

          1. Leave me alone! I caught myself and re-evaluated.

            You can’t expect me to read entire posts before commenting on them. What is this, Somalia?

        2. Yeah, as a Christian libertarian, Mr. Popp lost me when he started talking about preventing the harm God brings to societies that condone sin. Just… no.

        3. Is just…it’s immensely stupid. If God brings harm to societies that condone sin, then why should governments prevent harm to their citizens? If God is making that harm happen, then surely it is against God’s will to intervene in his righteous destruction of sinners, correct?

          At the individual level, you are right. Sometimes government shouldn’t try and prevent harm. Sometimes harm is what deters people from doing stupid and self destructive things. It sounds all nice and Christian to help out single mothers. Except that do that enough and there won’t be any penalty for being a single mother and low and behold a lot more women will be becoming single mothers to their and everyone else’ determent.

          What this guy doesn’t get is that perhaps God punishes people to make them an example to others.

          1. Not even to make them an example to others, but to deter bad behavior. If you don’t suffer the consequences of your bad decisions and all the costs of your negative behavior is passed on to society at large, then you end up with more negative behavior because people can get away with it essentially indefinitely.

            1. Exactly that. But he doesn’t get that. He thinks morality, rather than being generally a better way to live is some kind of burden that the government must make people adhere.

    2. Most Libertarians believe in God. They just call him “natural rights”. And the non aggression principle is like every other principle, great until the circumstances dictate that it isn’t so great anymore.

        1. Something about fat men on bridges and runaway trains… you know, realistic scenarios like that.

        2. That was John’s roundabout way of saying “there are no atheists in foxholes”.

          1. That is not true. There are lots of atheists in foxholes. Atheism has no problem dealing with the short heroic life. Where you generally don’t find atheists is in prisons. The long wasted life is a lot harder to deal with than even a short noble one.

            And my point was that people who appeal to natural rights are effectively no different than appealing to “God given rights”. they are both the same thing; a set of assumptions from which to reason. That is it.

            1. Where you generally don’t find atheists is in prisons. The long wasted life is a lot harder to deal with than even a short noble one.

              Interesting. On the face of it, sounds pretty true to me. I do wonder what the percentage of atheists are in prison.

              1. I bet it is pretty low. A lot lower than on battlefields.

                1. I blame the prison ministry.

                  1. I blame the prison ministry.

                    I also think a lot of it for Black prisoners is that in prison, the Black Muslims are like one of the biggest gangs around.

                    1. I have a very good childhood friend who joined NOI. It is absolutely a gang. A very polite, well dressed gang.

                  2. They have ministers on battlefields too.

                    1. The prison ministers have a more captive audience.

                      Oh, I see what I did there.

              2. The data are murky, but the answer seems to be well under 1% (.07% if this source is to be believed).

        3. Depends on how you define it. Some people take it to the extreme and it just becomes pacifism, which is utterly harmful when confronted with real evil. Most of the time, however, it is just meaningless. What does the non aggression principle say about contract enforcement? That they all should be enforced?

          It also can’t deal with the idea that sometimes waiting around for me to punch you in the face isn’t the best idea because doing it just allows me to beat your face in before you can defend yourself.

          1. And there you have it folks. The conservative interpretation of the NAP.

            1. I thought it was the justification for Iraqi Freedom

            2. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it is not true. Should we start giving trigger warnings so we can spare your delicate sensibilities?

              Libertarians have a hard time dealing with the idea that someone might not be reasonable or interested in fairness. Things like the nonaggression principle work great, as long as everyone is reasonable. The moment it confronts someone who is not reasonable, the whole thing falls apart.

              1. Of course it isn’t true.

                It is not pacifism in any way shape or form.

                Fraud is an initiation of force.

                You can certainly block the first punch without preempting violence.

                The moment it confronts someone who is not reasonable, the whole thing falls apart.

                Oh, really, give me an example.

                1. First, you won’t block my punch when you don’t see it coming. And once my punch gets in, you have likely lost the fight. So that would be one example.

                  But it is an example of the overall flaw with the principle. It assumes that all violence and aggression can be dealt with after it occurs. That makes sense, as long as everyone is reasonable. The problem arises when you are confronted with fascists. Fascists are smart and don’t immediately come out and hit you. They use our freedom against us to subvert our own society and then inflict violence after it is too late to stop them.

                  Millions of lives would have been saved if Tsar Nicholas had just lined up the Bolsheviks and shot them. That is what they did to him once they got the chance. Shooting them before they did that would of course violate the nonaggression principle. Not doing that, allowed them to kill him and a lot of other people.

                  1. So the way to prevent fascists and Bolsheviks from the evil of killing lots of people is to kill lots of them first?

                    1. So the way to prevent fascists and Bolsheviks from the evil of killing lots of people is to kill lots of them first?

                      Pretty much. If you don’t, they will do the same to you. The sad fact is that in a situation where there are fanatics bent on doing real harm doctrinaire libertarians are useless. They will sit around living by their principles right up until the bullet goes through their brain.

                      The non aggression principle is great right up until it is not.

                    2. So the way to prevent evil is to be evil first. Hm. Something about that still seems wrong to me….

                    3. The sad fact is that in a situation where there are fanatics bent on doing real harm doctrinaire libertarians are useless.

                      Am I alone in considering threats of violence/aggression to be a form of violence/aggression, and the self-defense against threats is entirely legitimate from a NAP point of view?

                  2. First, you won’t block my punch when you don’t see it coming.

                    If I don’t see it coming, I’ll get up and kick the living shit out of you…AND, be morally justified in doing so, unlike you who struck without provocation.

                    That’s why you keep strong defenses.

                    You, on the other hand, seem to want to be able to attack anyone any time you feel like it, with little or no justification being required. By all means, John, if it saves one American life, it’s worth slaughtering millions of non-Americans.

                    You remember fights in high school John? Remember how the principle always asked, “Who threw the first punch?” Ya know why?

                    Because self defense is moral and initiating aggression isn’t.

          2. “What does the non aggression principle say about contract enforcement? That they all should be enforced?”

            No. Just entering into a contract doesn’t ipso fact make it valid.

            “It also can’t deal with the idea that sometimes waiting around for me to punch you in the face isn’t the best idea because doing it just allows me to beat your face in before you can defend yourself.”

            If you’re legitimately about to do such a thing then it’s perfectly consistent for me to strike first. That wouldn’t qualify as aggression. Dealt with.

            Proving the matter is a different thing entirely.

            1. If you’re legitimately about to do such a thing then it’s perfectly consistent for me to strike first. That wouldn’t qualify as aggression. Dealt with.

              If you want to call aggression not really aggression, sure. The problem is you never quite know for sure what I am going to do. You are only guessing. So ultimately, it is you being aggressive.

              We know now that the Tsar should have shot Lenin and his crew. At the time, he didn’t know that for sure anyway. And given what he knew at the time, I fail to see how he could have shot them consistent with the principle.

              1. “If you want to call aggression not really aggression, sure. The problem is you never quite know for sure what I am going to do. You are only guessing. So ultimately, it is you being aggressive.”

                There isn’t an ultimate definition of “aggressive” there is a libertarian one though. And preeminent strike is covered, if you can back it up. See Rothbard’s defense of torture for a very extreme illustration of this.

                “We know now that the Tsar should have shot Lenin and his crew. At the time, he didn’t know that for sure anyway. And given what he knew at the time, I fail to see how he could have shot them consistent with the principle.”

                You’ve changed the example though.

                However, if the Tsar did shoot Lenin, his reign would have been even bloodier.

                Can’t prove it wrong. Where does this lead us?

      1. I believe natural rights are the omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent creator of the universe. Like most libertarians.

        1. +100000

          That about sums it up Laconic.

      2. I think many libertarians here recognize that there are legitimate conflicts on how rights may be exercised — even in utopia, we just think that government is about the worst way of resolving such conflicts.

    3. You would think they could trot out a new argument other than externalities.

      If Farmer Brown harmed the baby, he is liable.

    4. COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE COASE

      1. Saw your Italian restaurant link.

        You the man. Pasta with garlic and oil is great.

        So that restaurant is worth checking out if I’m in the area?

        1. Everybody seemed to like it. I ordered the veal francese and got three big pieces, of which I could only eat two, so I’ve got a third piece in the fridge.

          Several different types of bread, and they offered olive oil to those who wanted to dip the fried do in it, which was good.

          Dad ordered the spaghetti and meatballs, but wanted the sauce on the side. He got a lot of sauce, and two (I think) huge meatballs.

          The only bad thing is that the restaurant is a bit far if you’re coming from the Thruway. You’d have to go through the traffic circle, and the fucked up intersection at the other end of 587. (Do a Google Street View and enjoy.)

      2. I confess, I do not know what that means. Is finding out worth it?

          1. You’re right, Nerfherder. Thank you.

    5. It cannot protect citizens from the biggest Danger of all.

      …Carlos?

      1. +1 dicpic

    6. This may be a fine standard on which to build a political philosophy, but it is not a sufficient ground on which to build a government

      Yes…yes…you’re almost there….

    7. It cannot protect citizens from the biggest Danger of all.

      Juggalos?

      1. Terrorists? It’s terrorists. Which, incidentally, covers Juggalos.

    8. *Places rock on table with ‘Libertarian’ written on the side*

      This is a Tiger/God repelling rock. It repels tigers/gods of various cultures. Not Odin though, he’d fuck us up good.

    9. Has Farmer Brown attacked this baby? No. He’s not even aware of its existence.

      Yes he has and should be liable, plus liable to the damage to property of the water and river owners.

    10. There is a God. God brings harm to societies that condone sin. Governments must try to prevent harm to their citizens, whether that harm takes the form of an epidemic or a military invasion or an economic collapse or something else. If all these things are true

      They’re not true.

      So… yeah. *walks away*

  12. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return for an X-Files miniseries in which they discover that a vast federal security state apparatus tracks people’s communications and movements, subverting?. Oh wait. Maybe aliens.

    In the end, they will discover that Edward Snowden is actually some sort of alien, and then call in a drone strike on him. All in the name of patriotism.

    1. You take that back, sir! Mulder would never stoop to such lows.

      Scully on the other hand…

  13. “More U.S. troops will remain in Afghanistan for longer than originally anticipated”

    In other news, Canada announced today it was increasing its bombing campaign against ISIL.

    1. “More U.S. troops will remain in Afghanistan for longer than originally anticipated”

      Cytotoxic has a hard on.

  14. And when they don’t, I might add, parents can take their kids elsewhere.

    Depending on the charter school program, that isn’t always true. School choice isn’t the same as charter schools.

  15. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson will return for an X-Files miniseries in which they discover that a vast federal security state apparatus tracks people’s communications and movements, subverting?. Oh wait. Maybe aliens.

    Was never a huge fan, but is there another 90s show that’s as dated to that decade as The X-Files?

    1. I saw Gillian Anderson on Top Gear a few weeks ago. She was looking quite nice considering her age and all.

      1. She recently got star billing on NBC’s ‘Hannibal’ for its third season.

        I agree, she’s aged pretty well.

        1. Weirdly, I think she looks better today.

          It must have been from getting blown up.

          1. She looks a lot better today. I don’t know how but she does.

            1. She has the same gene mutation as Jennifer Anniston.

        2. But she is batshit crazy.

          1. Soo… Which side of the hot/crazy line?

            1. Well, she is a redhead so she already gets points in BOTH categories.

    2. Friends. Friends is completely unwatchable today.

      1. You only think that because you can’t watch Mad About You reruns.

      2. “Friends is completely unwatchable today.” The word today there is redundant.

        1. Yeah, I thought that show was stupid when it was still on.

          1. The Ross-Rachel thing is unbearable.

            Honestly, I think the whole “lesson” TV learned from Moonlighting shitted up a whole generation of will-they-or-won’t-they stories. You can drag it out somewhat, but at a certain point, it just becomes unbearable.

            1. I was just watching the first season of NewsRadio and noted that they intentionally skipped that–Dave and Lisa are fooling around almost immediately.

            2. Same thing with Frasier. Will his brother confess to the maid that he loves her? After 3 episodes, who fucking cares.

            3. will-they-or-won’t-they stories. You can drag it out somewhat, but at a certain point, it just becomes unbearable.

              Try How I Met Your Mother

          2. The only reason to ever watch that show was Jennifer Aniston’s constantly hard nipples.

      3. I’d add ‘Home Improvement’ to that list as well.

      4. The previous time I was in Geneva (2011 maybe) Central Perk was still going strong. I was relieved to see it was toast when I visited this year. There used to be Central Perks all over Europe.

        1. You laugh, but I has a Peruvian coworker whose daughter learned perfect American English in Denmark by watching Friends in syndication.

          1. Isn’t that also the story of how Gabriel Landeskog learned English?

    3. The writing of the episodes really saves X-Files. Some of the monster of the week ones are still creepy as fuck.

      And they had cell phones pretty early in that show, as I recall, so the argument that sinks a lot of prior media (“This would really quickly be solved with cell phones”) doesn’t hold as much water.

      In response to your question, I have one: Walker, Texas Ranger. That show is painfully 90s.

      1. “Walker told me I have AIDS…”

        1. I’ll do you one better.

          Check out this reaction to slavery, starting at about 2:30 to be on the safe side.

          http://tinyurl.com/o86x8rd

      2. So much of Seinfeld is a ‘pre-cellphone 90s problem’ that I really wonder what the show would be like in the modern era. Probably a lot of Jerry bitching about facebook friends.

        1. Seinfeld would have evolved with the times. It would be a lot like how South Park still manages to stay current.

        2. I tried one time to figure out what percentage of thrillers and/or comedies were rendered incomprehensible to people under the age of 25 because they hinge on missing a phone call or not having access to a phone. It was a large number.

        3. There’s a pretty funny Twitter account called “Modern Seinfeld” that puts out ideas for episodes taking place nowadays.

          “Jerry watches Game of Thrones with a girl and breaks up with her because she likes Sansa.”

        4. There is a twitter feed that lays out Seinfeld episodes in the modern day.

          It’s generally exceptionally funny.

      3. Dr Girlfriend and I rewatched seasons 1-3 2 years ago and were impressed at how they episodes stood up. Except that one with the bell tower shooter “ripped from the headlines.” That one still irks me.

  16. I bought a toy.

    A 12 gallon compressor.

    My life is almost complete.

    1. How big is that in American?

      1. Twelve gallons?

      2. That’s like 24 Mountain Dew Big Gulps.

      3. How big is that in American?

        30 metres.

    2. I am not allowed to have such a toy. I can have as many guns, drones, and cooking appliances as I want, but nothing that could potentially be used for man projects around the house.

      How long until you void the warranty?

      1. Who cares? I’m gonna use it to terrorize my neighbors. It’s a good reason to wear my overalls in public.

        1. What part of wearing nothing but overalls don’t you get?

          1. Oh, I get that part and it can be damn sexy.

          2. “No, no! Leave it on!”

        2. My wife is still really mad at the time I tried to pour my own concrete.
          That was a really expensive mistake.

          1. As someone who deals in concrete equipment, I find this amusing.

            1. I have a patio/side yard that’s half plants, half stamped concrete. I ripped out some of the plants to build my own BBQ Grill island. I ran the gas line, etc etc.

              Everything was fine until the concrete.

              I watched one 3 minute how-to video on youtube, and then went to Home Depot. After that, it was like the Simpsons episode where Homer tries to build a BBQ, only with more profanity, alcohol, and property damage.

              Mrs. Manhattan was VERY angry, especially at the attempted cover up.

              1. That’s what jackhammers are for, they’re just concrete erasers.

                1. I put rebar in every 2 inches. For no reason.

                  The professional removal involved a jackhammer and a torch.

              2. WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE HARD!

          2. Pouring concrete is an art form.

            My brother in law is good at it.

            1. That’s why I had no business doing it.

          3. Sounds like me trying to tack weld a faucet back to the base with solder because I couldn’t find brazing rod Last night. My wife just shook her head, but its a rental so she doesn’t get super angry. I’m going to try again to find some small torch weldable brazing rods tonight.

            1. I wonder how mad my wife would be if I showed up with welding gear?

              1. Nah, just a butane torch. The kid was asleep and it was a faucet with water running to it. Very low fire risk.

                1. You know that. I know that. All my wife sees is me playing with fire.

                  1. Playa, find a local community college that teaches welding classes. Spend the $500 and pass the class with flying colors. Bring your wife examples of things YOU welded without burning down the school. Insist that she attach them to the fridge, just like she does with your kids’ macaroni “art.” When she protests that no magnet will hold up the 10 pounds of steel you brought her, the only possible solution will involve a new Miller 211 in your garage.

          4. “English side…ruined…must use…French instructions…’LE GRILLE’!? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?”

    3. What are you going to do with that much air?

      1. he’s clearly a hoarder!

      2. Never you mind.

    4. I just bought a telescope designed to look at the sun with killing me. And look at sunspots and solar flares.

  17. http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb…..aith-iraq/

    US Soldier joins militia to defend Christians in Iraq. Que the Judas Priest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKh8FdrmJFw

  18. David Burge

    ?@iowahawkblog

    I have a hard time believing the US would elect a Harvard Law 1-term senator with a weird father story. #Cruz

    1. If Cruz gets the nomination, it’s going to be funny to see denizens of Team Blue claim that Cruz doesn’t have the proper experience to be President.

      1. There will also be a new birtherism.

        Cruz is Canadian!

        No, he’s Cuban!

        1. He’s CUBACANIAN!

          1. Please also say that in French so you don’t run afoul of your Canuckistani laws.

            1. MAUDIT CUBACANIANS!

          2. Cuba Cuba Cuba Cuba Cuba Canadian.

            1. Sung to the tune of ‘Karma Chameleon?’

              1. Of course!

          3. That’s some spicy poutine, eh?

  19. I already posted this in the x-files story, but I’ll post it again here. They need to team up with the former writers for weekly world news, and do a Batboy episode.

    1. Didn’t batboy guy used to write for Reason?

  20. More U.S. troops will remain in Afghanistan for longer than originally anticipated

    It’s the war that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. We started fighting it not knowing what it was, but then we continued fighting it because…

    1. We should make a deal with the Russians. Stop misbehaving in Europe, and they can have Afghanistan. That will help to assuage their pain from getting their asses handed to them by the Afghans.

    2. This lie doesn’t count either!

  21. http://tinyurl.com/pxtwpta
    The Theory of Games and Economic Behavior by John Von Neumann and Oskar Morgenstern.

  22. If your kid enjoyed some of the 100+Beast Quest books when they were age 6 or so you may enjoy this nugget of derp I stumbled on today (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/ 303800.Cypher_The_Mountain_Giant). Actual adults appear to have showed up to goodreads and given lowball reviews to Beast Quest because they found the books so formulaic and predictable.

    1. Don’t even get me started on the poor character development in Sesame street….

    2. In fairness, this one by an actual child is adorable:

      “I think the book Cypher the Mountain Giant was a boring book. That book I recommended to elementary school. I didn’t really like it because it could have been more interesting. I could of like if it had more action. I think this book would be for people interested in fiction books. I would like if it was not much fantasy. It was not a horrible book or good book.”

      1. Be honest. Which senator wrote that?

  23. Our findings show urban charter schools in the aggregate provide significantly higher levels of annual growth in both math and reading compared to their TPS peers.
    Specifically, students enrolled in urban charter schools experience 0.055 standard deviations
    (s.d.’s) greater growth in math and 0.039 s.d.’s greater growth in reading per year than their matched peers in TPS

    Interesting, that was almost the same exact effect size seen in the math and reading achievement of students enrolled in the Milwaukee Parental Choice Program, a voucher program, from 1990-ish to 1995, as Witte (1998), Rouse (1998) and Greene, Peterson & Du (1999) all have shown.

    And fuck you for making me bring my work home with me.

    1. “compared to their TPS peers”

      So, this is a TPS report?

      1. Toilet Paper Shortage report?

        Are you listening to outlawed private TV from Venezuela man?

      2. You forgot your cover sheet.

        1. He didn’t forget it, he had to wipe his ass with it because there’s no more toilet paper!

    2. Awwwwww, here’s something to make you feel better

      1. I was one contract withdrawn at the last minute for no discernible reason whatsoever from teaching in Ulan Bator.

        That was the coolest thing ever.

      2. Please tell me they have horrible rap artist names styled after Mongolian Khans.

        “Yoooo, Guyuk is in the yurrrrrrrrrt!”

        1. How can you tell if the name is horrible or standard for Mongolia?

          1. Preferably they’re slightly misspelled for an alternative meaning or use some kind of symbol (like $). Like replacing an l with this.

  24. If you’re homeless, be sure to reserve a flight to the Vatican city-state, where you can get free showers, haircuts, and tours of the Sistine Chapel.

    http://beforeitsnews.com/chris…..um=twitter

    1. Not sure if serious.

    2. The showers thing is several weeks old, and apparently legit. While I cannot bring myself to approve of any pope, this new one is far less worse than the previous one in many regards. If only he weren’t such a socialist.

      So, Eddie, is your parish doing anything similar?

      1. Food for the homeless? Yes.

        Feel free to drop by the local Catholic parishes in *your* area to ask them what they’re doing.

    3. You know else gave people free showers?

        1. Winner.

      1. Wow…. that got a little dark.

        1. I thought it was on point.

      2. Himmler?

    4. I hear Catholics also hand out free booze and crackers.

      1. But the crackers are really really nasty.

        1. Wine and crackers without cheese — they’re barbarians.

          1. Do you want some cheese with that whine?

          2. If the wine is the blood of Christ, and the crackers are the body, what part of Christ would be the cheese?

            1. I know what part the Ball Park Frank is.

              Little mustard with that Eddie?

    5. Oh look, Eddie is here preaching.

      SHOCKED FACE

      1. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.

        Plane tickets to the Vatican for the homeless?

        1. That part was a joke, but seriously, I thought it was a nice feel-good story.

          And it shows that an organization can simultaneously (a) help the poor, and (b) own lots of art.

          Come to think of it, giving the poor a tour of your art treasures combines a and b.

          1. Hopefully nobody asks too many awkward questions about how the Church came to possess all of that art, eh?

            1. It’s almost like the fraticelli had a really good point or something.

            2. Yeah, they totally stole the Sistine Chapel Ceiling!

              1. Should I take that as an endorsement of the 16th century Church’s sources for, ah, revenue?

              2. I’m sure all those Germans that started several decades of religious war were delighted to pay for your pretty ceiling.

                1. To be fair, those German states were willing to pay for “several decades of religious war” which they “started.” This gives some context to those who paid what amounts to fines for their sins.

                  But at least in the wake of the indulgence controversy, the Church decided to stop imposing money as penance – tho’ it could certainly be defended on the same grounds as criminal fines.

    6. Hmmm…I guess I shouldn’t have dropped that chum in the water.

  25. http://journals.cambridge.org/…..5400124141

    “Superior Orders, Nuclear Warfare, and the Dictates of Conscience: The Dilemma of Military Obedience in the Atomic Age”

    1. The flight crew doesn’t get to know the contents of the weapons they carry.

    2. “…Have led many students of international law to conclude that the laws of war are dead.”

      When were the laws of war ever alive, except when they were followed to prevent the intervention of larger powers?

  26. http://scitation.aip.org/conte…../1.1664991

    “An Exact Quantum Theory of the Time?Dependent Harmonic Oscillator and of a Charged Particle in a Time?Dependent Electromagnetic Field”

    1. “Motion of Helium atoms in an excited state. Watch out, it’s a scorcher!”

  27. Officer charged with killing unarmed driver laying facedown

    Authorities said Mearkle had attempted to pull over Kassick for expired inspection and emissions stickers before he sped away. She caught up to Kassick near his sister’s home where he had been living for a short time.

    He got out and ran before Mearkle incapacitated him with a stun gun, held in her left hand. He was on the ground when she shot him twice in the back with the gun in her right hand, police said.

    Mearkle, 36, told investigators she fired because he would not show her his hands and she thought he was reaching into his jacket for a gun.

    1. Jeebus. I once had a run in with the law over an expired state inspection and they waited 3 months to send an armed officer to make me pay up.

  28. Speculation time. Why is known pitiful loser joe back? The only answer that makes any sense to me is that it’s because the election machine is getting spun up and he wants to do his part. Discuss.

    1. What’s his new handle?

      1. Jsckand Ace. Look for him in politics-as-horserace threads.

        1. Oh that’s him? Makes sense now.

        2. Is that Joe? How can you tell? Has he talked about how great Venezuela is?

          1. It’s more about his monomania. Just like how it’s so easy to spot Tulpa.

            1. I’m laughing really hard now. Jackand Ace was clearly a fucking idiot, but I didn’t know he was a fucking idiot with a history.

              Jackand Ace is also the one who, when I told him you can’t trust the Iranians to adhere to a nuclear deal, said that this meant I must be in favor of invading Iran. I told him I’m not in favor of invading Iran, I just acknowledge they’re untrustworthy and that we’re deluding ourselves if we think they won’t renege on a deal. Then he said that if I don’t think this deal will work, I must be in favor of invading Iran and called me a murderous warmonger.

              Next time he shows up, I’m just going to post link after link about what’s going on in Venezuela and ask him if he still approves of Chavismo.

              1. TRUST DEMOCRACY

                1. Yeah, he sure had some classic misses. Really can’t figure out why CAPTAIN TEAM wants to comment on a libertarian site. Not a danged one of us changed our views, after all. If anything, I hold the left in more contempt thanks to his dogged attempt to lie away the evil his team has done.

              2. I don’t want a war with Iran, nor do I think they can be trusted to make some deal with. If we simply can’t tolerate them having nukes, then let Israel deal with it. If we don’t really care, then let them have nukes.

              3. Actually, joe was always very careful not to say he approved of Chavez. He just said deepthroated Venezuelan democracy, essentially claiming that the Venezuelans approved of him.

                And I thought his observations about how Marxist footsoldiers who wish to criticize their superiors are in a quandary because the system doesn’t permit them to criticize higher ups was pretty interesting.

                And the time I got him to tell me to go fuck myself was quite fun. I wish I could find the thread and bask in his impotent little rage.

                1. I think it’s sad that Americans don’t value the idea of limited government and go out of their way not to see the tyranny that comes from pure majority rule. Yet example after example is thrown our way, only to be ignored or distorted by those who simply crave power to make others do what they want them to do.

                2. He did essentially offer tacit support of by denying the obvious anti-democratic initiatives engaged in by Chavez, by ignoring Chavez taking over Venezuelan media, and by constantly yelling TRUST DEMOCRACY which basically means that you oughtn’t criticize Chavez because he was democratically elected.

                  There was one thread someone posted a few days back where Joe declared that Chavez wasn’t doing anything anti-democratic, so an actual woman from Venezuela showed up and said ‘he’s taking over media and turning them into Chavez propaganda factories to indoctrinate people into voting for him’ and Joe explained that this didn’t matter.

                  1. Useful idiots, indeed. Tyranny doesn’t happen without a lot of cheerleaders attempting to distract you.

              4. Isn’t the HOMAINEEE shouting ‘Death to America’ these days?

                Totally trustworthy material him.

    2. And no, Pro Glib, I’m not going to credit you for that.

      1. I want credit for outing him. I am the one who figured out it was him.

          1. Bullshit. You would have no idea what you were dealing with if I hadn’t shown you.

            1. FINE

              We can always tell when it’s Tulpa or joe sooner or later, though. They get comfortable and stop concealing their mannerisms. Wait, is being a gigantic asshole a mannerism?

      2. I don’t care about credit, but I will accept royalty payments.

    3. Notice what he came here to talk about.

      Spewing blatant, retarded, ACA propaganda.

    4. joe’s back? what a racist.

    5. I’m momentarily blanking. Was Tractor Pullz joe or MNG?

      1. That was joe.

        1. Put on yer mesh-back ball caps, crack a Bud and dip some Skoal, guys!

          1. Copenhagen. Skoal is for pansies.

  29. So I was reading about You-Know-Who and I read that Von Papen used a presidential decree to oust the Prussian Government from power over the alleged incompetence of the Prussian Police. This meant that when You-Know-Who came to power he was able to put Hermann Goering in charge of the Prussian police. Can’t see that happening today or Reason not going along with it at first…

    1. What you are fucking whining about now?

      1. Winston suffered a traumatic brain injury, as you well know. Be nice to him, you big meanie.

    2. So I was reading about You-Know-Who and I read that Von Papen used a presidential decree to oust the Prussian Government from power over the alleged incompetence of the Prussian Police. This meant that when You-Know-Who came to power he was able to put Hermann Goering in charge of the Prussian police

      Wait, which Harry Potter book was that in?

      1. Harry Potter and the Rubber Ducky That Whispers Secrets to Winston After All The Adults Are A-Bed

        1. All The Adults Are A-Bed

          His performance as Com Tech #1 in Captain America: The Winter Soldier was so much better.

  30. Let’s talk more about that Richman quote:
    stop vetoing UN Security Council resolutions that condemn Israel for its daily violations of human rights, and stop impeding Palestinian efforts to set up an independent country (with membership in the International Criminal Court, etc.).

    So isn’t the UN Security Council condemning a country interventionist? And what about the ICC? Do libertarians actually have a foreign policy? “The USG shouldn’t intervene anywhere” might be a good American foreign policy but does little good to any other country.

    1. Covered last night in the PM links. We’re well aware of Richman’s inconsistency when it comes to ‘interventionism’.

  31. Regarding airplane black boxes: Instead of storing the information in a “box”, why isn’t it just steamed to some other location like people with security cams are able to do?

    1. Isn’t there quite a bit of data that is transmitted to the ground? It sounds like there is.

      1. Yes, see ARINC. I wrote a longer reply earlier but the skwerlz ate it. Shorter me: bandwidth too high, costs exorbitant, little utility because recorders are almost always recovered quickly. New recorders keep track of ridiculously large amount of data at fast refresh ratss, too high for.transmission..

        1. It’s a bandwidth thingee, then. Fair enough. Still don’t understand why I can’t fly in a pod, just in case.

    2. complete data transfer is in the works according to CNN’s coverage of MH 470 last year, but is expensive to implement and airlines often choose scaled back versions of the current limited streaming data services anyways to save money. Crashes just don’t happen often enough to justify the expense.

  32. For todays fun-topics posts, I’ll start with a Lincoln impersonator giving a “Presidential interview.”

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics…..d=29851476

    1. He’s no Clay Jenkinson.

  33. Ooh, here’s a good one:

    “When you go into a hospital, do you expect the hospital and biotech industries to make a profit from your surgical specimens? Well in the case of circumcision, your child’s foreskin could be making thousands of dollars for the biotech industry….

    “The ethical question is: Should you be informed that your child’s foreskin is going to become a profitable commodity?…

    “The question that I have is: Who does that foreskin belong to?.”

    http://www.foxnews.com/health/…..-eyebrows/

  34. Laughter is the best medicine.

    Re: Tony,

    Almost every libertarian here is engaging in question begging. Of course, corporations can’t lie to consumers, because that’s called fraud! (Even though it’s also speech, and the 1A doesn’t say anything about exempting that kind of speech.)

    The conflator in chief has spoken, confusing a tort with speech.

    Hey, idiot: in order to call it a fraud, you have to have an actual tort committed.

    1. It’s actually a problem with how commercial speech is regulated–and it is regulated, for those who don’t know–the FTC and other agencies go far beyond preventing fraud. Personally, I think fraud and other forms of actual harm should be the magic line for consumer protection.

    2. The first amendment does not set forth rules regarding what sort of speech is acceptable between private parties. Fraud is a tort committed by one private “person” against another. I suspect tony isn’t bright enough (or is mendacious enough) to blur the distinction, or to say that it’s really just another way of government restricting speech, but he’s wrong either way.

      If you commit fraud with speech and cause damage to the harmed party, it is not a violation of the first amendment to hold you accountable.

      If you’re a jerk, someone’s feelings get hurt and the government tries to restrict your speech, that is a violation of the first amendment.

  35. Police: Man charged with rape after calling around seeking an abortion for his 12 year old victim –

    http://republicanherald.com/ne…..-1.1851764

  36. OK, I admin that I was browsing around CNN.com. But while I was there I ran into the craziest thing:

    Somehow this opinion piece was just sitting there on their front page.

    And the very inspiration for this column, a debate over the pledge of allegiance, makes the problem even more glaring. A rote and thought-free-chant of mindless allegiance can’t even be expressed in a different language? Is America really so fragile that if a citizen proclaims “fidelit? agli Stati Uniti” that it means anything less because it is in Italian?

    Perhaps this highlights more than the fact that we should step away from the brink of ignorance while we can. Perhaps a good place to start is by doing away with enforced orthodoxy of thought and speech in the first place. Perhaps a good place to do that would be by doing away with the pledge of allegiance itself.

    Perhaps if we pledged to uphold the Constitution, instead of a piece of cloth, we would be reminded of what really built this nation — the Spirit of the Enlightenment.

    1. CNN? Are you sure? That kind of pro-Constitution, pro-Enlightenment sounds like, I dunno, some Nazi site.

  37. Let’s say the US Controlled Substances Act is amended to recognize medical usefulness of cannabis. What then happens in states where its recreational use is legal, which in a few yrs. may be a majority of them? For that matter, what’s likely to happen in states where its medical use is legal?

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