Trigger Warning: Jazz Hands
Students asked to refrain from anxiety-triggering clapping, use jazz hands instead


Jazz hands—the sight, the words, the very concept—have been known to trigger spontaneous fits of laughter in my world. Hence the warning in this headline. But jazz hands are actually the "safer" option, according to folks at a U.K. student conference.
In a tweet sent out earlier today, the National Union of Students (NUS) Women's Campaign requested that attendees please express approval with jazz hands rather than clapping. The original request apparently came from Oxford University representatives.
Now I've been in meeting or conference settings where clapping was deemed too disrputive to the flow of discussion. Using jazz hands instead of clapping is not a rare or especially ridiculous proposition. But the reason given here—claps are too anxiety-provoking—is a new one for me.
The National Union of Students (NUS) is an organisation representing about 600 students' unions at U.K. universities and colleges. The students gathered at today's Women Students' Conference are delegates from these student bodies who were elected "to represent students' views on a National level" and set new policy for the NUS Women's Campaign.
Today and tomorrow delegates are debating various member-submitted motions, which include both the good and the bad from a libertarian standpoint. From column A: a motion to support the decriminalization of sex work and a motion to "call for the abolition of the prison-industrial complex." From column B: a motion "against all methods of charging students for education," and a motion to note that capitalism must "be beaten" along with patriarchy.
Other motions included a move to refrain from using terms like "sisters," "both genders," or "any other terms that refers to a binary or two gender system"; a motion "to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men"; and a resolution for NUS Women's Campaign not to share any platform with writer Julie Bindel.
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Jazz hands.
Yes
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Wow, just a creepy as it sounds.
Whoever submitted that motion gets an A in trolling.
You can no longer troll these people. They really are that crazy. How did we get to this point?
We didn't; they did. They are beyond self-parody. Sooner rather than later, they will need escape velocity to jump the shark, and they will be all isolated form each other in their only little safe corners, with blankets over their heads and lights out.
I think at some point, the shark jumps them. This seemed straight out of The Onion at first glance, but no, it's real people saying this with straight faces.
Poe's Law very much applies in the SJW community.
How can you do jazz hands with a straight face? The widey-eye/grin is part of the expression.
A recent comment at Marginal Revolution:
To add on to SMFS, the broader intellectual consensus is that we are living in a Fukuyama-esque world where Wilsonian values are destined to advanced ever further, into the deepest recesses of the globe. Then we will have a peaceful, just planet, full of self-determination and blah blah blah. This is obviously not where we live, and the intellectual crisis is that there are no obvious successors. This is not a policy failure, this is a failure of the entire belief system, universal progressive rationalism, that has developed since the advent of the West some centuries ago. The intellectual equivalent is the collapse of faith in Communism, or a child learning that Santa Claus does not exist. So much for it, modern progressivism has devolved into concerns about micro-aggressions and ZIRP. It's intellectually spent and its adherents have nothing valuable left to say.
I'm inclined to think that a lesbian woman who has been the victim of domestic violence would need a trigger warning about that NUS Women's Campaign button. Surely the fist featured on that button might potentially trigger distressing memories.
Whoever submitted that motion gets an A in trolling.
Jake Elwood?
Where the *fuck* is the edit button?
Huh. A couple centuries of tremendous progress, and then right at the beginning of the new millennium is when the battle for women's rights was completely, utterly destroyed from within.
Christabel Pankhurst and her like are spinning right now.
I guess we're seeing the pernicious effects of making being a victim have tremendous cache to the point where if you're not somehow a victim, you are actually told you can't even have an opinion or speak. So everyone finds some way to be a victim if they want to be a part of it. And then you get this.
Full circle.. when everyone's a victim, nobody's a victim..
I'll be your victim. Be gentle.
Screw it. I want to be an oppressor now. Because I can't stand this shit anymore.
You're already an oppressor by their definition; now you just get to have fun with it.
Embrace your role as the hegemon, I say.
Embraceable Hegemon would be a good nom du comment.
Bingo. Everybody is jockeying for position on the progressive stack.
Jazz hands triggers my fear of being strangled by PC morons.
Jazz hands triggers my fear of elaborate Broadway productions.
Don't even get me started on Cats.
jazz hands triggers my fears of leading an elite cheer leading team for the first time and hiring a choreographer who's sold the same choreography to other squads without letting us know...
Now we're definitely going to lose to the black girls on the urban squad unless the new, dark, chick brings her gymnastics skills and attitude to unite us with a new mission and routine!
I smell an Oscar...
Might I also suggest the theatrical masterpiece "Stick It" for your home viewing pleasure?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tum.....o1_500.png
Just turn the volume down. It'll be ok.
This has the stench of Glee plot...
seriously? none of you have ever been forced to watch "bring it on"?
I just assumed that's why the term was funny to ENB.
Forced? Ummm, yeah, that's it.
I strive to main the purity of my precious mental fluids, thank you. It's bad enough that I have been accidentally exposed to Glee.
More fucking times than I care to admit, though not nearly as many times as I've been forced to watch Center Stage.
Capitalism and patriarchy must 'be beaten'. Sounds kinda violent.
Up-twinkles!
Capitalism and patriarchy must 'be beaten'. Sounds kinda violent.
Damn squirrelz need a beatin'
So many trigger warnings, so few words.
Your bosses are so cheap they don't provide you with a spell-checker?
Gah. Thank you.
Stop appropriating John.
capialitsm = capitalism + elitism
Yes, komrades
together we can defeat capitalism!
"Every time you clap your hands you kill thousands of spores that'll some day form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval with a mould-friendly thumbs up."
Look, nobody enjoys shooting penguins, but it you have to shoot penguins, well, you might as well enjoy it.
Now little lady, those peoples' asses are living things, too!
"The fools!!!!! If only they had made this ship with 6,001 hulls!"
+1 Nature's pocket
I have no problem withholding applause for these people.
They are going to isolate themselves into a little dinky corner. They are pushing their specialness so much that they will spall off every other not-quite-butthurt-enough category until all that is left is a Cheshire cat Home-Alone scream.
Isn't Jazz Hands pretty racist?
Only if you associate jazz with Negroes and smoke-filled nightclubs.
That and negro musicians using pot to corrupt white women.
Where da whyte wimminz at!!!???
I motion that jazz hands are ableist and might trigger those who are blind or otherwise have no hands at all.
You'd think they'd want to appropriate black men, instead.
How are white gay men appropriating black women? What the hell does that even mean?
My guess is that they take some of the things black women say, and then say it themselves.
Because that's such a horrific thing to do.
Must be from all that house music.
Are you throwing shade at me?
"I called Charlie Murphy DARKNESS!"
/DC as Rick JAMES! Bitch!
Talk to the hand, bitch!
Sistah, please.
It's basically a foreign language.
John, this argument actually exists.
Gurl, puhleeze
We already are.
WTF, I am with John, can someone explain.
"to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men"
*pats weave, bobs head in sassy manner* OH HELLS NO.
I don't think you could stop gay white men from acting like black women if you rounded them up and sent them to sensitivity camps.
You know who else thought capitalism must be beaten?
Steve Jobs?
Paul Krugman?
Uncle Pennybags?
What is the sound of one hand jazzing?
Sploosh?
That's actually a great idea. To show your pleasure for a performance or lecture, pleasure yourself to the degree you are emotionally/intellectually pleased by the presentation.
"That is a fair point you make, panelist. I will henceforth masturbate to a half-chub."
These same people used to want everyone to embrace their sexuality. Why not make it part of the entertainment/education experience?
Not white guys.
That's actually fine by me. Only women may pleasure themselves in public as a clapping substitute.
So, how about this "performance". Not even close to safe for work.
What. The. Fuck.
(thank God I watched that on my phone)
(so I could save it for later)
Don't do it, Catatafish! You can't get that time back!!!
I don't think I can get my retinas back either.
Jim Rockford explains the sound of one hand clapping.
https://vimeo.com/70295643
This is why I wish I could get a large group of people together dedicated to trolling events such as this. Just give Citizen Kane-esque standing ovations after every speech.
That would be fun, but it would be better to troll them on their own terms. Someone needs to file a complaint that the term "jazz hands" and the act of doing it, whatever that is, represents the appropriation of black culture by whites. They might as well be asking people to give a mistral show.
They might as well be asking people to give a mistral show.
The term "Jazz hands" is obviously racist. Insensitive bitches.
Damn straight girlfriend.
It's definitely culturally appropriated, girlfriend.
Are you entirely sure these events aren't trolling in themselves?
Don't worry guys!
Mtrueman assures me that this isn't happening!
Ho.ly.
shit.
I have rarely been so happy to be so out of touch.
Is the applause being redistributed equally among the participants?
a resolution for NUS Women's Campaign not to share any platform with writer Julie Bindel.
Any particular reason as to why this is? I've looked up Bindel and don't see exactly why they'd ostracize her (besides the fact that she's against gay marriage but she seems to be against ALL marriage and only wants civil unions for gay and straight couples). Is this some kind of inter-tribal feminist civil war thing?
My God man. Have you not been present for the "get government completely out of marriage" debates? Equal treatment under the law be damned, some people apparently just refuse to be happy.
But her -10 opinion modifier on gay marriage is negated by her +10 modifier on the fact that she's a lesbian (yeah, I've been playing too much Crusader Kings). That, and I'm sure she'd get some kind of bonus modifiers for articles titled "Why I Hate Men" and "Why Men Hate Me." She's actively encouraged vigilantes to punish rapists!
Hmmmm...under Modern Family rules you do have a point. Has she adopted a blind Mexican baby with her black lesbian life partner? That might be the jackpot of identity politics protective barrier.
Ultimately, everyone gets thrown out of the hive eventually. These people's entire existence is based on shaming and ostracizing other people. So, they forever have to have someone new to ostracize and shame. It doesn't matter that Bindel is a good dues paying member of the Progressive hive. She has been declared and enemy because well someone has to be.
if anything says she's against gay marriage, what comes next is immaterial. We've long since decided that redefinition of the term is vital for the most vocal proponents and no heresy will be allowed, no matter how principled.
probably something about trannies. That's usually why the kids get pissed off at old lesbian feminists.
This is a definite possibility as she states that transsexuals are not 'real women'. Probably the most likely scenario.
Either way, feminist civil wars are nothing but a good thing.
Hmm. Does this mean some lesbians get as freaked out by discovering a ladyboy as some straight men do? How does this rate on the social justice intoleration scales?
I think there's a whole branch of Proggism devoted to "intersection" issues, where various victim groups and claims vie for supremacy.
Two Progs enter, one Prog leaves?
Most definitely.
Their hatred of Bindel comes from her opposition to transsexualism.
Watching TERFs and SWERFs fight with other feminists who disagree with them is occasionally hilarious.
She's incredibly anti-sex work, wants to ban porn and strip clubs, and is allegedly very anti-trans
Elizabeth,
I don't see how you could be an old school feminist without buying into the idea of gender being a social construct. And if gender is a social construct, there is no such thing as a transsexual. Most feminists just pretend that isn't the case. I guess Bindel is at least honest and logically consistent.
Yep. Bindel is a very nasty piece of work and is the worst kind of anti-sex feminist. The fact that she's been silenced by the modern feminist movement is incredibly irritating because I then have to stand up for someone I would otherwise despise.
She also declared that feminists who are pro-porn are contributing to a 'neo-liberal' culture, which proves once and for all that neo-liberal doesn't actually mean anything but is just used by people who have decided to whine about something but aren't eloquent enough to explain what they mean.
I am frankly enjoying watching people like Bindel receive the metaphorical knock at the door. Its like watching Stalin kill all of the old Bolsheviks. Sure Stalin was a bad guy, but that doesn't make the death of the old Bolsheviks any less of an event of karmic justice.
Ah, so it's the ol' sex-positive sex-negative pissing contest. Thanks, carry on.
This SJW stuff makes me feel like a crotchety old man. I don't understand it, I don't want to, and I wish all these kids with their new-fangled vocabulary would just get the fuck off my lawn.
^^THIS^^
It also gives me the overwhelming feeling that rather than having quit academia 1/2 way through my PhD, I escaped it.
I am stealing this. Never thought to express my experience that way, but it is dead on.
As always, it's the messenger, not the message, right?
(Bindel isn't a person I really agree with on ... well, anything, really. But still, that resolution strikes me as pretty damn telling.)
At what point do the words trigger warning need a trigger warning. Afterall it could remind someone of a gun.
True story:
I was at a meeting with some folks from a very large Catholic healthcare system. Their GC informed us that the word "trigger" was persona non grata in their system because it might make some people feel triggered.
She was visibly embarrassed. Naturally, I spent the rest of the meeting working "trigger" into every sentence that I could.
The other funny thing about this is that they have turned on gay men. I thought they were one of the special oppressed classes. Well, not anymore apparently.
today's victim is tomorrow's oppressor. And vice-versa.
+1 new boss
-1 old boss
A lot of gay people are white men and also gay people actually tend to be wealthier than average. Therefore, there are a LOT of rich white gay men and it was only a matter of time before they were declared secret oppressors.
Absolutely. Gays are going to rue the day they ever threw their lot in with these fascists.
"'Rue the day?' Who talks like that?"
John
I am appropriating the language of Victorian Englishman. I am just a racist monster like that.
I'm quoting Real Genius. I'm actually fine with the phrase.
+1 Genius
Ok then "Rue McClanahan the Day". It makes it more gay.
This is a common perception but there is no evidence for it. There are no statistics that have shown this to be true, mostly because so many gays still aren't open, especially in smaller and more rural areas. The DINK wealthy gays are just a stereotype.
It was only a matter of time before the SJWs decided they were PROBLEMATIC, though.
Also, gay men and lesbians tend to get along about as well as cobras and mongoose. So it was only a matter of time before lesbian feminists settled a few scores against gay men.
Good - I will take being an "oppressor" over being a "victim" any day.
"to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men"
Is this a real thing?
Gay men, what a bunch of bastards.
Oh, it's a real thing. There are some black female academics who take this Super Seriously You Guys and would angrily declare you a racist monster if you failed to treat this as the next great civil rights struggle.
So, dressing up like Diana Ross is out but Judy Garland is okey-dokey?
Great. Either way it's bad show tunes all the way.
Don't act like The Birdcage isn't your favorite movie.
Isn't this an overall wash when you figure all the white women stealing black men into the equation?
"a motion "to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men""
Hilarious.
Google 'white gay men appropriating black women' and you get some pretty amazing results. Some choice quotes:
"Kaila Story, an associate professor of pan-African studies and gender at the University of Louisville, echoed Mannie's sentiments. She said that since coming out, she has had white gay men approach her saying things like, "Hey girlfriend, hey girl," which she finds "incredibly racist.""
I'm pretty sure white gay men say 'hey girl!' to women of all races. I've seen some pasty white broads get the same treatment from white gay men.
"That Chelsea-based management consultant whose Grindr bio reads "Yas, hunty" is trying to express himself using a language that he views as part of his own history. But his behavior reflects cluelessness about historical origins, not a malicious attempt to co-opt black womanhood."
Sure. Whatever.
"These white gay men do not get the hurt and sadness behind Sierra Mannie's words because they do not understand the harmful impact of cultural appropriation because of their status as White Men."
That's right! Gay people, who as recently as 2001 could be arrested in Texas for sodomy, don't understand the 'harmful impact' of cultural appropriation because of white privilege!
And these same people are telling the group to respond with "Jazz hands". You know, Jazz, the quintessential black American contribution to world music. Some gay guy telling a woman "hey girlfriend" is racist approbation but "Jazz Hands" are totally okay.,
These people don't even bother with internal consistency. They are just fucking nuts.
Jazz may be "the quintessential black American contribution to world music," but "jazz hands" is entirely the fault of Bob Fosse.
And Bob Fosse is a gay white man. The circle is complete.
Are you sure about that? If I remember correctly he was married at least 3 times.
I'm not sure. I just assumed.
Well, he was in theater, so.... honorary gay man?
I am pretty sure Bob nailed about every female dancer that was ever in one of his shows. He might have been on both teams but he was definitely not gay.
"jazz hands" is entirely the fault of Bob Fosse.
He popularized it, but it predates him.
They get pissed if you're mean to them, and pissed if you're nice to them. It's pointless to interact with them at all. Which is the point, I guess.
'Cultural appropriation' is one of the most moronic things to come out of the 'social justice crusade'. Cultures interact and absorb aspects of each other and transform them into something different. This is a constant of history and the inevitable result of any interaction between cultures. If you want to stop it, you might as well just put every culture in a bottle, Superman. The Macedonians and Persians did not throw hissy fits about actively exchanging their culture, the Europeans did not stomp their feet in anger when native groups began using horses and guns.
-1 Battle of Gaugamela of course.
Post-Darius III, of course.
Still not as good a game as Darius II.
SJWs are essentially neo-segregationists.
Cultures should be equal, but separate.
Today, in the Oppression Games:
Who will win the Victim's Decathalon?
Will it be the board leader, the wealthy white woman? Will it be the well-coiffed homosexual white male? Will the eternal contender the Black woman finally take her place atop the Victim World? Or will the impressive blue-chip prospect, the sapiosexual genderfluid, walk away with the title?
Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen! You won't want to miss this whining!
Well the points are only awarded to those who are able to CARE THE MOST ABOUT ALL THESE PROBLEMS who can shout the loudest on tumblr, not to the "victims" themselves.
Have you noticed that in the last few days the SJW hive mind has decided to beat the dead horse of "equal pay!" once again. Expect numerous stories in all media.
I wonder if her head explodes when RuPaul does it.
I'm sorry, but your breathing is triggering my anxiety.
"Whoa! No, no! No applause. Every time you clap your hands you kill thousands of spores that'll some day form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval with a mold-friendly thumbs up."
Hah! Too slow!
Dammit, didn't notice you above.
I r not smrt.
What the fuck are "jazz hands"? Please tell me I'm not the only one who who's never heard of this. Is it from a Star Trek episode where some stupid aliens wiggled their hands in approval of something?
Unless it's a new term for self pleasure, then I'd be right on board.
"FreeRadical|2015/03/24 16:27:23|#5177425~new~
What the fuck are "jazz hands"?"
answering this question properly requires a reference to Al Jolson, and it is therefore racist to explain it to you.
Enjoy.
Do not want.
How about "jazz ass"?
Much better. It's almost hypnotic.
No no no noooo! There was clapping, man! My God, the clapping!
You're not talking about the twerk video, are you?
"Using jazz hands instead of clapping is not a rare or especially ridiculous proposition"
Whut.
Yeah, I thought, Elizabeth, are you having some kind of post traumatic stress episode from attending women's conferences in your past or something?
....to declare that "Jazz hands" are a commonly-accepted form of social signaling like 'clapping' ...which is in no way by itself inherently ridiculous or mock-worthy....
....indicates that ENB's "ridiculous"-meter has been permanently damaged by over-exposure
This calls for a slam-poetry competition. Who's With Me!? (snaps of support)
It's a tactic used frequently with children who use applause as an opportunity to talk to their friends.
" with children"
Well then, i guess its totally appropriate in this instance
And the deaf.
Can't they just rattle their jewelry?
As noted by one person in that Twitter-plotzing =
The only appropriate response to this idea is *VIGOROUS DOWNTWINKLES*
"SOME delegates are requesting we move to jazz hands......."
We libertarians have always been rightly cautious re the tyranny of the majority. But now it seems there is the possibility of a tyranny of the minority.
Tyranny of the minority is the whole point of the perpetually aggrieved.
+1. It's like inverted Marxism, but not in any good way.
Oh look all the little white boys in the Reason comment section are having a good laugh at the expense of those with a vulnerable condition
But whatevs, can't expect any diff I gues. Wow just wow.
[animated gif of Taylor Swift rolling her eyes]
" Wow just wow."
OMG I DONT EVEN WHAT
I'm pretty sure "Alissa" has literally cut and pasted her comments from a thread last month. Can't remember which one though.
Ugh, thanks for proving my point
So, what, exactly, is your "vulnerable condition", pray tell?
oh i don't know maybe severe anxiety or ptsd but whatevs it's totes okay to make ableist jokes for the lulz
So....you don't know?
Seems you've proved the point of...oh, maybe 40-odd commenters here.
Honey, I was in Iraq for nearly a year. To this day I can't stand fireworks and am easily startled by loud noises. Yet, I do just fine with people clapping.
So unless you have had people lopping high explosives at you and thus have an aversion to clapping as a result, take your PTSD and go fuck yourself and stop insulting people with actual problems by pretending you or these clowns have them.
That may be true, John, but you're a white male. You can't understand the plight of a white girl in college who grew up in the suburbs!
*slow clap*
Sorry to hear about your experiences. While nowhere near what you endured, I caught a lot of crap and bullying through grade school that sent me into severe depression and anxiety, to the point that I was suicidal in middle school. A few years of therapy helped with that. I'm far from normal but have made vast improvements. I still have bad days, but I've learned what triggers it and what doesn't and how to adjust accordingly. I don't ask people to change for me - unlike what's going on in the original article.
Guys, I'm pretty sure Alissa is Poe constructed by someone to mock the blatant emotional vapidness of these positions.
If not, she's simply so stupid and dysfunctional that she probably shouldn't be in control of her own well-being, much less anyone else's. So really regardless of the option she's not to be taken seriously.
We don't appreciate you injecting your opinion where it isn't wanted. This is a safe space for libertarian discussion.
I'm going to a room to play with crayons and watch videos of puppies now.
A sandy vagina condition?
Yes, that's certain...
I wanted to respond with a snide joke, but instead I struggle to ask a serious question:
Do think it is ever appropriate to tell a vulnerable person that it's simply time to buck up? You know, telling them that the world is not always soft and cuddly and that a positive course of action for them could be to learn to face it. Tell them to start with something simple, a baby step, like tolerating people clapping around them.
It depends. Are the people to whom I'm speaking white boys, or can I safely assume as such?
No, you can't be speaking to white boys because, by definition, it is impossible for them to be vulnerable.
Damn, I forgot. I will duly report to the nearest reeducation camp.
Have FUN
come on people, this is quality trolling. you've been spoiled by Bo that you can't even appreciate the good stuff. The "Ugh"? "whatevs"? come on. A- at least.
'White boy' is what racist blacks call whites of any age (and then you added 'little' to top it off). I am OK with the name calling. Just hang in there and be consistent. When someone calls you a crusty cunt, I expect that will run like rain off your umbrella..
If someone calls me a crusty cunt, it probably means I need to change my underwear more frequently.
Offended White Guy Brigade, reporting for duty!
I can compromise with 2 jazz fingers, I guess.
And they won't be invisible.
Promise??
"a motion "to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men""
I remember seeing a segment on this on CNN. In hindsight, I thought it would have been at least a bit longer before this reached students.
Didn't know what "jazz hands" are , but "a binary or two gender system" , one of the most successful and universal product and patterns of evolution LoLed me .
Try to imagine the sort of whinging we might be witnessing if humans reproduced like flatworms. I think Agile Cyborg could probably give us a hint, having probably witnessed such on one of his trips.
Jazz hands have their root in minstrel shows and, thus, must surely be racism triggers. Pretty ironic in a conference that included the long-overlooked topic of gay men misappropriating the image of the strong black woman.
On the plus side, without gender specific adjectives and nouns, you've just defined "patriarchy" into non-existence!
a motion "to work to eradicate the appropriation of black women by white gay men";
The fuck?
So a gay man can't say "talk to the hand" anymore?
FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.
They really mean Jizz Hands.
They should have suggested blogging rather than Jazz Hands, That would definitely limit applause.
Glad I'm older now and will not be around to live in the world this infantile generation is creating. I'm sure their "trigger warnings" will be honored by their enemies in the middle east, Russia, China, etc. Can't you just see their kids and how cowardly they will turn out?
It is great entertainment to watch them throw their tantrums.
ROFL
It's a fucking caricature of itself. Incredible.
I'm reminded of the Twilight Zone episode from many moons ago when Burgess Meredith, as a librarian, is on trial in front of a faceless jury, with a uniformed prosecutor charging him with all sorts of incorrectness because of his books. At one point, toward the end, Meredith's character points out that the prosecutor could be next to be on trial. Fade to black, come back from commercial, and there it is - the prosecutor is now on trial for his incorrectness.
These people will prosecute each other until they are but splintered fragments.
Apparently the sound of one hand clapping is the sound of triggered feminazis freaking out over clapping.
So what happens when Jazz hands trigger some other feminazi?