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Politics

The Case for Cruz

Jesse Walker | 3.24.2015 11:27 AM

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NEXT: Could Sheriff Joe Arpaio End Up Wearing Pink Underwear In His Own Jail?

Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

PoliticsTed CruzPeter KingElection 2016
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  1. Restoras, OWG and RWC   10 years ago

    If I knew that King would actually follow through on this, it would be an excellent trade-off.

    1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

      Seconded.

      1. Free Society   10 years ago

        I've never been so tempted to support Ted Cruz

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Seriously, Cruz goes a notch up in my level of acceptance of his candidacy just because King loathes him so much. I mean, check out this comment from King: "'Shutting down the federal government and reading Dr. Seuss on the Senate floor are the marks of a carnival barker not the leader of the free world,' King said in a written statement on Monday." Unhinged, are we?

          Still nowhere near toppling Paul in my eyes, but having King's irrational hate is a bonus.

        2. hamilton   10 years ago

          Enough to make me want to start a crowdfunded campaign to build an extremely high bridge in King's district. Over a pit. Full of spikes.

          1. hamilton   10 years ago

            Actually come to think of it we could use if for Arapaio as well (referring here to the other H&R piece earlier today).

            And, come to think of it further, we could relabel the bridge as a sort-of modern day Tarpeian Rock reserved exclusively for disposal of holders of elected office.

            1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

              "And the Tribunes of the People took hold of the miscreant Representative and flung him from the Tarpeian Rock Bridge!"

          2. Keith Glass   10 years ago

            Actually, as Rep. King is playing at being Wile E. Coyote, the appropriate bridge to drop him off of, should cross a deep canyon, somewhere out west.

            And, of course, he should be handed a sign, just prior to the jump. . .

    2. DEG   10 years ago

      Yes, yes it would be.

    3. Tonio   10 years ago

      I'm sure it would be a very low bridge, or there would be a safety net, or something. Things like this are always too good to be true.

      1. DK   10 years ago

        Yes, I'd feel more confident if he was chauffeured by a Kennedy.

    4. soflarider   10 years ago

      I tuned in looking for a logical dissertation, but this will do suffice.

  2. Homple   10 years ago

    A threat I can live with.

  3. tarran   10 years ago

    Today I find myself supporting Ted Cruz *and* the UKIP!!!!!!!

    Dogs and cats living together, etc!

    😉

    1. PapayaSF   10 years ago

      Conservative-libertarian fusion is back!

      1. anon   10 years ago

        Dare I say....

        LIBERTARIAN MOMENT

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Quick - poll the millennials and activate the robots.

  4. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    The possibility of Cruz getting the nomination is too serious a threat. King should just go ahead now in hopes of heading it off.

    1. anon   10 years ago

      The threat is so dire, I'll even offer to pick him up and drive him to a bridge (anywhere in the continental US).

  5. WTF   10 years ago

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !!

  6. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

    A moral quandry.

  7. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

    Do a flip!

    1. tarran   10 years ago

      ^^^ Thread winner!

    2. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

      CAAAAANNNNNONBALL!

  8. John Titor   10 years ago

    No Peter, that's not how to do threats. What you do is imply that your IRA buddies will throw SOMEONE ELSE off the Ulster bridge.

    1. Swiss Servator... Switzy!   10 years ago

      Or they could blow up a bridge he was crossing.

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        +1 Gomez Addams

  9. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

    The Cruz campaign thanks Mr. King.

  10. Raston Bot   10 years ago

    Well, that settles it. For me, anyway.

  11. GILMORE   10 years ago

    But *what* bridge? How high? does he specifically mean, "into the water", or just from the bridge to the road? Negotiations here are going to need clarity on specifics if progress is to be made. As a precondition to further talks, we must insist upon "Verrazano", "Center Span", "Full media coverage", and "strong riptide" being included in the language. Whether or not he will be asked to perform the ending scene from Saturday Night Fever as a crowd-teaser will be entirely optional, and/or based on the availability of a polyester suit in his size.

    1. Libertarian   10 years ago

      Don't get too excited -- he's probably talking about Clinton's "bridge to the 21st century."

    2. Slammer   10 years ago

      Neighborhood rumor has it a kid got trapped in the Brooklyn tower and died and it's now HAUNTED!

    3. The Immaculate Trouser   10 years ago

      We need a kickstarter, which will add conditions to King's vow as it is funded:

      $25 gets you a t-shirt

      $100 gets you that + a framed photo of the moment of impact signed by Ted Cruz

      $500 gets you all of above + lunch with Ted Cruz and Peter King prior to the event

      $1,000 gets you pre-show access to a special event where you can

      Clearing the $1,000,000 marker guarantees that the event will take place over a busy interstate on a humid, mosquito-filled day, with Peter King in the buff covered in honey

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   10 years ago

        *special event where you can repeatedly punch King in the face (limit 50)

  12. Andrew S.   10 years ago

    I've changed my mind completely. Time to make a large donation to Cruz's campaign. WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

  13. Francisco d'Anconia   10 years ago

    King is the poster child for everything wrong with the Republican party. I think he's actually more vile than McCain and Graham, and that's quite a feat.

    I'm assuming, since he badmouths Paul in the same breath, he'll jump when Rand gets the nod as well? We can only pray.

    1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      McCain has actually done some very good things in his life, particularly when he refused to be released from a Vietnamese prison camp unless other prisoners also got released.

      I can think of nothing Peter King has ever done that isn't horrible. I'm pretty sure Lindsey Graham has never supported a terrorist organization, too, which makes him better than King.

    2. John   10 years ago

      He pretty much is. And the fact that he hates Cruz this much, tells you that Cruz must not be that bad.

      1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        Or it could just mean Cruz is bad in a way that King finds distasteful.

        I'm pretty sure Peter King also hated Osama Bin Laden, but that didn't really change my view of him.

        1. John   10 years ago

          Unless you think Cruz plans to become a suicide bomber or is a secret Muslim, I rather doubt King hates him for the right reasons. But hey, Cruz is all yucky and all so go right ahead and agree with King.

          1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

            Hilarious John. Pointing out that King hating someone doesn't mean they're a good candidate apparently means I'm just a knee-jerk Cruz hater.

            Okay.

            1. John   10 years ago

              If you don't think it is likely, why are you mentioning it? Yeah, all of us not named Tony or Bo, understand basic formal logic. So, yes it is possible that King hates Cruz and Cruz is still lousy. We get that Irish. You don't need to point that out unless you think that is the case.

            2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              I get the impression that King's dislike of Cruz is more for reasons we'd generally approve of, like shutting down the government in budget fights and not playing nice with statists. Not that Cruz isn't all sorts of flawed from the libertarian perspective, but King is most assuredly the enemy.

              1. Aresen   10 years ago

                Now, if Cruz could just get Chuck Schumer to promise to jump if Cruz wins the Presidency, I suspect Cruz would win in a landslide.

      2. Robert   10 years ago

        No. Don't fall into that pit. A can dislike B for entirely different reasons from C's dislike of B. What if it's ground hogs vs. chipmunks, How to Succeed style?

    3. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

      King is the poster child for everything wrong with the Republican party.

      ^^THIS^^

  14. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

    Wow, I didn't know the Republicans were capable of this level of finesse. Bravo.

  15. Bill Dalasio   10 years ago

    You had me at "Rep. Peter King Threatens to Jump Off a Bridge"....

    1. Rebel Scum   10 years ago

      Seconded.

  16. John   10 years ago

    Any man that doesn't support Cruz after reading that, has no heart.

    1. Libertarian   10 years ago

      To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: one would have to have a heart of stone not to cheer as Rep King jumped off a bridge.

  17. a better weapon   10 years ago

    Very compelling...

    *searches Google maps for all bridges within New York's 2nd district*

  18. DrZaius   10 years ago

    I bet Peter King the SI writer is thinking the same thing.

  19. The Grinch   10 years ago

    If he was being serious I'd switch from I to R just so I could vote in our primary. Unfortunately, King thinks far too much of himself to do something like that.

  20. Aresen   10 years ago

    Can I specify the Royal Gorge Bridge?

  21. DRM   10 years ago

    Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

  22. Dread Pirate Roberts   10 years ago

    It will happen as soon as Alec Baldwin packs his bags and moves to Canada.

  23. mhj   10 years ago

    Is that a threat or a promise?

  24. RickCaird   10 years ago

    Terrific. I will hold his coat and give it to his next of kin.

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