Officers Shot at Ferguson Police Station, Human Trafficking Bill Doomed, Don't Drink and Drive (Unless You're Secret Service): A.M. Links

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  1. …though the shots didn’t come from protesters but from atop a hill up the street.

    Are we sure they didn’t accidentally shoot each other?

    1. No. Where were the police snipers stationed?

      1. I’ve known enough law enforcement professionals to know that it’s not outside the realm of possibility that one officer was sleeping with the other’s wife.

        1. #copslivesmatter

        2. Just like in the movies.

    2. Was it a grassy hill? Was there a second shooter?

      1. The right wing haters did it.

      2. Back…. and to the left.

          1. +1 Magic Loogie

      3. Probably male models

        + 2 Derek Zoolanders

    3. How do we know for certain the shooter on top of the hill wasn’t a protestor? This reportedly happened when the protest was breaking up; couldn’t someone at the protest have walked up the hill and shot at the cops?

      1. How can we be certain that the shooter wasn’t a police ‘sharpshooter’ that missed his intended target?

        1. What difference now, does it make?

        2. We can’t pass any judgements until the investigation is finished. 3-4 years tops.

      2. *didn’t come from people in the immediate protest vicinity*

        Better?

        1. Mourning Lynx and sexbots before 9 am. Impressive.

          Don’t take no shit!

        2. Yup. We pedantically strive for accuracy.

          1. We pedantically strive shoot for accuracy.

            1. We’re accurate, just not precise.

        3. Well, the headline did say that some officers shot at the Ferguson Police station.

      3. I think it would be fair to say that a person who shoots another person is protesting something.

      4. Any guesses on what kind of rounds were fired?

    4. Hello.

      130 comments in 25 minutes? Geez, take one quick excursion and miss all the fun.

      1. Hang in there, Rufus. I believe the iToilet will soon be released.

      2. I wasn’t around for any of the evening posts yesterday so:

        Thank you, thank you, thank you PSG.

        Diego Costa deserves a lengthy suspension.

        1. Yeah, I was disappointed in the officiating in that game which overall was pretty entertaining and intense – unlike the Bayern game. I stopped at the third goal. They were going to steam roll Donetsk.

          PSG were getting reamed by the ref. How Costa and his tantrums remained in the game is beyond me.

          I’m surprised the American-British press didn’t call Chelsea’s performance ‘heroic’ as they’re apt to do whenever they feel ‘woe is me’.

          It’s not like Chelsea had to play with one-man down, and score two away goals on the road or anything. I also find it hilarious how they claim PSG were diving when it was Oscars blatant embellishment that took top prize in the game that led to a harsh red card. Chelsea sure like to swarm refs, eh?

          PSG are naturally an aggressive team on the ball and on the attack so spare me the whining. I was very impressed by PSG’s determination.

          What’s up with all the Rangers fans on Long Island? Do you Islanders fans have any pride?

          1. I switched over at halftime.

            Hasn’t it long been Mourinho’s modus operandi to try to bully the refs even more than other coaches work them? He reminds me of Jim Harbaugh.

            I’m not an Islanders fan. I also hate hate hate the Rangers. If Marty Brodeur and those three Cup-winning Devils teams had played in the Most Overrated Arena on Earth, nobody would have called the style boring, and there would be monuments to Brodeur and Lamoriello. And Pat Burns, rest his soul, would have been elected to the Hall of Fame while he was still alive to enjoy it.

            1. For real – about the Devils and Burns. The thing on Pat Burns really burns me – don’t excuse the pun. The Hockey Hall of (Let anyone in) Fame isn’t as restrictive as baseball’s yet they were stalling on Burns for no good reason.

              Styles of play don’t bother me. Mourinho is a realist. Anyone who uses the term ‘park the bus’ doesn’t have a command of soccer tactics and strategy now or from the past.

              Chelsea is one style; PSG was another. All good to me.

              Same with the Devils back in the day. To some it was boring. To me, I loved how they perfected the art.

            2. MSG+ has been replaying the ’95 finals recently. My god was that team fast. They’d get one deflection in the NZ and the entire team would be in the Wings’ zone in a second. And that Devils team was stacked, anyone that thinks the Devils were a gimmick team is functionally retarded.

              The “NZT is boring” crap is a product of all the clutch and grab that was tolerated in the late 90s, early ’00s that simply was not in effect when the Devils burst on the scene. It seemed like only once per game was a hold not called that would have been a clear penalty today.

          2. You know who else steam rolled Donetsk?

            1. The Ukranian road-builders?

        2. 1. Ibra should’ve only received a yellow.
          2. The ref had the red out before any Chelsea player got near him.
          3. Cavani clearly took Costa down in the box, should’ve received a yellow then and another in the second half for hacking down Hazard.
          4. Luiz should’ve received a straight red for elbowing Costa in the grill away from the play.
          5. Matic should’ve received a yellow for his hack of Cavani.
          6. Verratti yet again was allowed to stay on the pitch for multiple serious fouls.
          7. Costa should’ve been sent off for a second yellow (even if Marquinhos goes down easier than a $2 whore).
          8. From minute one of the first leg, PSG clearly had every intention of committing hard fouls as a strategy.
          9. When PSG was finally punished for this strategy (ironically for what shouldn’t have been a red card), Chelsea inexplicably lost all sense of urgency, despite Mourinho and Costa screaming at the team to get up the pitch.
          10. I hate Comcast for cutting my recording off at ‘112, forcing me to check Bleacher Report where I saw Silva tied it up, forcing me to scream “fucking cunts” and then pour another glass of bourbon.

          I can’t even get all that mad. Chelsea didn’t deserve to win.

  2. Two police officers were shot and wounded near the Ferguson police station amid a protest Wednesday night. The shots didn’t come from protesters but from atop a hill up the street.

    A grassy knoll by chance?

    1. Check Zapruder’s YouTube page.

    2. Nah, it was The Comedian from behind a billboard.

      1. The CSM did it from a storm drain.

        1. Professor Plum did it from the conservatory.

    3. We have to give the protestors time to investigate the shooting.

      1. I’m sure they followed procedures.

        /Good shoot

        1. But what happened before those cameras started running?

        2. Obviously, all protesters should be issued body cameras immediately.

          1. We need to consider the totality of the circumstances.

        3. The protestors should also release the officers’ disciplinary records to imply that they had it coming. If the officers don’t have disciplinary record to use for this purpose, then they should troll for dirt in their families .

      2. Two police officers were shot and wounded near the Ferguson police station amid a protest Wednesday night.

        But did the shooter make it back home safely to his family? That’s all that really matters.

  3. Anonymous officials say police wanted to arrest and sobriety test the agents but were ordered to let them go home.

    They had made it into the law-free zone.

    1. What would the life expectancy be of any lowly mortal who drove, albeit accidentally, into such a barricade I wonder. I wonder if it’d get over sixty seconds – certainly the idea of sobriety testing would never enter the conversation.

      1. *** clears throat ***

        I believe toxicity examination is a routine part of autopsies in cases like this,

      2. Didn’t some confused mom do that a year or two ago?

        1. I am pretty sure a Kennedy scion did something similar, but that’s another member of the Elite.

          1. This is what I was thinking of. It did not end well for her, though she probably made it worse than if she stopped after running into something the first time.

  4. Florida woman arrested after getting naked at Dunkin’ Donuts as a dare

    The Palm Beach Post reports Shakara Monik Martin was arrested Sunday in Greenacres near West Palm Beach.

    According to a police report, Martin told authorities the dare was part of a pledge to a dance troop, which wasn’t identified.

    Witnesses told police Martin was offered clothes several times, but she refused to take them. She began apologizing when police arrived.

    She so pretty.

    1. Not at a Waffle House?

    2. Is that a *thumbtack* in her right cheek?

    3. Sheesh, can you imagine the police reaction when that came over the scanner?

      There’s a naked woman at a donut shop.

      Cop heaven.

      1. +1 Oink

        1. You bad man. Belly belly bad man.

      2. Sounds like a great diversionary tactic if you want to commit a crime in another part of town.

      3. Was he trying to fill the long johns?

        1. oh wait, you said naked ‘woman’.

    4. Are we sure that is a woman?

    5. I got as far as ‘Florida’ and thought, “Yep.”

    6. What the fuck happened to her face? Third degree burns? That can’t be a real face.

      1. What’s wrong with your faaaaace??

  5. …which found almost no apartments renting for $800 per month or under available to those not receiving public assistance.

    Technically taxpayer money is probably paying for pretty much all the housing in D.C.

    1. I bet rent subsidies had nothing to do with the rise in rent.

      1. Section housing sets an artificial floor on low-rent housing? Since when?

      2. I’m sure it does. But having hundreds of thousands of GS-13s, -14s, and -15s, as well as SESers can’t hurt, either.

        1. You think any of those fucks live in DC?

          HA!

          1. They all do until they get married and have kids. Adams Morgan is filled with overpaid douchebags on power trips every Saturday night.

      3. I believe the subsidies that are driving this particular case of rent inflation are found in the paychecks of government employees.

    2. I think there must be a few people there making an honest living.

        1. I was thinking of the drug dealers, actually. Though I suppose they might commute.

          1. Let’s not forget the, er, escorts.

        2. Yup. The janitors and the like all live in shitty suburbs.

  6. Obama’s odd series of exaggerated gun claims

    The president was playing fast and loose with his language here?to a group of college students no less. There’s little excuse for the claim that in some neighborhoods, it is easier to buy a gun than vegetable ? or to say he’s “not exaggerating” when he claims that some people have proposed laws that would allow machine guns in bars.

    As for the U.S. ranking on homicides among industrialized nations, the president certainly would have had a stronger case if he said the United States was above average, or that it was in the top ranks. But instead he claimed the United States had rates that were higher “by like a mile.”

    The gun debate is serious enough that it should not be poisoned by exaggerated claims and faux statistics. The president earns Three Pinocchios.

    1. OBAMA IS COMIN’ FER YER GUNS, BOYS!

      (circa 2008 moron)

      1. Actually, they’re coming for the ammo, although that attempt has been beaten back for the time being.

        1. You can have all the guns you want as long as the only thing you can do is use them as clubs.

          1. The funny thing is progressive who propose shit like that actually think they are being clever. “The 2nd amendment doesn’t say anything about ammo just outlaw that derpity derp de derpity dumb”

            1. Yeah, they totally gloss over the “…shall not be infringed” part.

              1. It says “militia,” which means National Guard! Everyone knows this!

                1. My son is studying the Bill of Rights in school now. Part of a recent assignment was to review and explain the importance of each of the first ten amendments.

                  For the second amendment, the text literally said the right to bear arms is there so that the citizens can repel a foreign invasion.

                  So, my tactic in correcting this was to a) explain to him the true purpose of the second amendment within the context of the entire Bill of Rights, and b) explain to him that despite the incorrect teaching, he should answer the question the way the teacher wants it answered.

                  1. he should answer the question the way the teacher wants it answered.

                    Well, that’s no fun. How old is he? Can he remain calm while having an argument?

                    1. He’s 13 and in 7th grade. The concepts are a challenge for him so at the moment I think it’s best to bring him along slowly to start.

                    2. Madison, Federalist # 46 and gun rights

                      “Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation, the existence of subordinate governments, to which the people are attached, and by which the militia officers are appointed, forms a barrier against the enterprises of ambition, more insurmountable than any which a simple government of any form can admit of.”

                      The problem is that the typical progressive school teacher cannot understand a sentence of this complexity, so the student will have to spell it out.

                      First, Madison says explicitly that being armed is an advantage and quite clearly implies that it is a good thing that Americans enjoy this comparative advantage with respect to every other nation.

                      Second, the armed citizenry is the foremost barrier against “enterprises of ambition” that “a simple government of any form” may fall prey to. Combined with subordinate governments that can resist federal overreach, an armed citizenry protects the nation from federal politicians.

                      Of course, that is a surefire way to get a D, so the student must also explain to his idiot teacher that Madison was wrong, and his idiot teacher is correct. This can be done by regurgitating the teacher’s talking points.

            2. “Keep and Bear”. Doesn’t say anything about firing them. (that’s a joke, just in case anyone wonders).

      2. “…this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…”

      3. If he could, he would.

        He used a family member of a victim as a prop during the last SOTU sermon, didn’t he?

        Did he not try to push for more restrictions after winning the 2012 election?

        1. Yes. A mental health background check. Not unlike how a felon is restricted.

          GUN GRABBER!

          1. Yes, our learned psychologists have developed precog-like abilities and can predict with full certainty who is about to commit violence.

            1. You’re right. The “solution” is messy and will be overreach by the government again. After all, governments try to solve problems and in so doing create different problems.

              But this is a far cry from “grabbing guns” like the alarmists said back in 2008.

              1. The solution isn’t messy at all.

                The solution is “shall not be infringed”. Seems pretty cut and dried to me.

                1. Seems pretty cut and dried to me.

                  Well, in all fairness that’s because you’re not an idiot. shreek doesn’t have that advantage.

            2. IT WAS IN A MOVIE.

          2. The guy also wanted to restore the assault weapons ban you mouthbreathing retarded piece of shit.

          3. Why are you grabbing my penis?

      4. Don’t feed it.

      5. He IS trying though.

        How you can suggest otherwise is asinine.

    2. In fairness I would support a bill that allowed machine guns in bars. And how many homicides equal one mile? I’m not sure how homicides to miles conversions work.

      1. Depends on how thin you slice the body.

    3. And the lie of the year goes to…. some minor Republican somewhere who described Hillary’s email shenanigans as “a conspiracy”.

      1. It actually might be, given that others assisted her in breaking the law. Whether it actually was a conspiracy is another question, but God knows the Clintons operate like this all of the time. Amazing that Americans of any political stripe tolerate this sort of dishonesty.

        1. There’s no,doubt whatsoever that it’s a conspiracy. When the IT boys at State told her staff that what she was doing was dangerous and that they wanted to assign her a .gov email address, they were rebuffed. The only reason a political lackey would deliberately ignore the technical advice of a state.gov technician whose main concerns are national security is so that their boss could control her correspondence outside of the auspices of the department she worked for.

          There’s simply no other explanation.

        2. So what you’re saying is… the lie of the year goes to Pro Lib.

          1. Of course, my point is that any crime has to be proved. The fact that she evaded security and records laws is self-evident and even admitted, so that’s one I’m willing to say happened. While her criminal intent is pretty obvious, it might not be with, say, the tech who installed the server. Then again, it only takes two to make a conspiracy, so there are other potential candidates, like her staff or even her husband.

            1. The inherent plausibility of the description was part of my original point. At worst it would be a slight exaggeration of the actual situation…. Just like when the Republicans were awarded the lie of the year for calling Obamacare a government takeover of healthcare.

              1. Yeah, it’s definitely not a lie. It’s more of a possible charge.

                Time for a special prosecutor.

            2. If her name were “Martha Stewart” instead of “Hillary Clinton”, and some AG didn’t like here because of who she associated with, she’d do some jail time. Of course I guess thats true even with out these most recent felonious acts.

    4. what exactly is “odd” about Obama making exaggerated claims?

    5. There’s little excuse for the claim that in some neighborhoods, it is easier to buy a gun than vegetable

      Those Schiavos are a lot harder to come by than they used to be. He may have a point here.

      1. There’s some joke here about eating your vegetables.

        1. Jeffrey Dahmer and Terry Shiavo walk into a bar…

          1. I think she would get wheeled into the bar.

            1. Her walking into the bar was the joke, Auric.

              [sigh]

              1. Bartender – “hey we don’t serve your kind here”

                A tachyon walks into a bar.

      2. Well, it probably is easier to buy a gun than a vegetable in my neighborhood. In winter, anyway. But that is because there are no stores.

        1. *pssst*

          Hey man, you need some…produce? I can hook you up. First radish is free, man.

  7. Rand Paul, Longtime Foe Of Nation Building, Is Ready Now To Redraw The Middle East

    They all become political whores as candidates.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..50536.html

    1. “Let us turn ours into a country of mushrooms by making mushroom cultivation scientific, intensive and industrialized!”

    2. We’re all whores – some of us have higher prices than others is all. Some politicians may start out high-priced as a matter of principle, but sooner or later they all wind up two for a nickel.

    3. Rand Paul has been disappointing me repeatedly lately.

    1. Killing democracy in and of itself isn’t a problem: replacing it with an unaccountable technocratic bureaucracy is.

    2. Hannan and Farage are always worth a listen.

    3. But… but… Europe is progressive and civilized, unlike regressive America!

      And the EU won the Nobel Peace Prize!

      1. And the EU won the Nobel Peace Prize!

        Given the history of the laureates I keep searching the news to see if Malala Yousafzai has been discovered to be a serial killer yet.

        1. To be fair, that one for the EU might actually be deserved. Western Europe has gone an unprecedented amount of time without a major war. Whatever else is wrong with Europe, it is a hell of a lot more peaceful than it ever has been.

          1. IMHO, the EU has nothing to do with the lack of a major war.

            Europe was royally f***ed by WW2, and people remember that. That in itself, not the EU, is why I think people aren’t at each other’s throats again.

            1. An astute observation, Injun.

              It’ll be interesting to see what happens when those that grew up during and just after the war die off and are replaced with others that don’t have those memories and experience.

              1. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when those that grew up during and just after the war die off and are replaced with others that don’t have those memories and experience.

                Much of the surviving war generation is just as bad. Plenty of limeys and frogs pine for the national “unity” of the war years. The national hatreds are still there, roiling beneath the surface.

                WWIII would have quickly followed WWII if Americans hadn’t pumped the breaks. And it wasn’t just the perpetual warmonger Churchill champing at the bit for a war with the Soviets, quite a few French muckety-mucks were keen on invading Soviet territory.

          2. Western Europe hasn’t been at war not because of the EU, but because of American hegemony (which is the only thing that even made/makes the EU itself possible).

            Europe was royally f***ed by WW2, and people remember that. That in itself, not the EU, is why I think people aren’t at each other’s throats again.

            With the exception of the (West) Germans who are truly reflexively anti-war for pretty much that reason, the rest of Europe would be murdering the fuck out of each other within a couple decades if not for adult “guidance” by Americans.

            I grew up there, I’ve worked there, and my mother still lives there. Culturally, the only nation to be truly changed by the carnage of WWII was Germany. The rest of them are still the murderous childish little shits they’ve always been. Paying attention to the kind of rank regionalism and nationalism that pervades the inner workings of the EU gives proof to this.

            1. I would add Italy.

          3. *Western Europe has gone an unprecedented amount of time without a major war.*

            Yeah, being bombed flat, shot to pieces, burned down, occupied and bottle-fed by Uncle Sam & Ivan the Bear for half a century will do that to you.

  8. …because Democrats and Republicans can’t agree about a rider restricting funding for abortion.

    Abortion. Is there any problem you can’t make go away?

    1. I see it.

    2. and why does a human trafficking measure need mention abortion, let alone funding for it? I know – fuck me, that’s why.

      1. Human trafficking funding? Haven’t the airlines been bailed out enough?

    3. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

    4. abortion makes the problem of infant male circumcision go away…for its male victims anyway.

      But can it remove the scourge that is deep-dish?

      1. But can it remove the scourge that is deep-dish?

        Depends on how you dispose of the fetus, don’t it?

      2. abortion makes the problem of infant male circumcision go away…for its male victims anyway.

        There is no male victim when it comes to abortion. Aborted female fetuses on the other hand represent the demale-is-inferior mindset multiculturalism of some cultures. And therefore they are not victims either.

      3. *slowly lifts Giordano’s deep dish slice and waves it at sloopy*

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago-style_pizza

  9. Two senior Secret Service agents allegedly drove a government car into White House security barricades last week after drinking at a party. Anonymous officials say police wanted to arrest and sobriety test the agents but were ordered to let them go home.

    Part of being in the secret service is that your blood alcohol content is a secret.

  10. Maybe it’s time for a real Democratic presidential primary

    The continuing controversy over Hillary Clinton’s emails, culminating (for now) in yesterday’s contentious sparring with reporters, is likely to deepen the desire among Democratic activists and voters for a real Democratic presidential primary. That might force Clinton to spend months sharpening her handling of questions such as those swirling around her emails ? not to mention her positions on key issues ? under questioning from fellow Democrats.

    The goal: A real debate pitched to an audience of Democratic voters, rather than an endless, grueling Hillary-versus-the-press death struggle.

    1. Aw, I’d rather have the endless, grueling Hillary-versus-the-press death struggle.

      1. Why can’t they both drop dead?

        1. Both? I guess the other is the press. Hillary seems like she could drop dead at some point in the next two years. It seems very unlikely that every mainstream reporter would, though.

      2. I would like to see it end eventually, with the death of both participants.

    2. It’s not going to happen. Warren is the only one that could challenge Hillary right now, and I think Warren is being honest about not wanting to run at the moment. Democrats have to much wrapped up in identity politics to admit that one of the politically strongest woman in their party is too corrupt to make it as a presidential candidate, so the die hards are going to die on the hill of trying to get her elected. They won’t back down and they won’t acknowledge the issues. Any democrat candidate that stands a chance to become president is going to sit this race out and come back in four years.

      1. Warren couldn’t challenge anybody for anything outside of the New England region. Her national appeal to all but the harders of hardline progressives is nil. She’s just not a likable person.

        Jim Webb is a viable challenger. And I’d give my right arm to see somebody like Ron Wyden throw his hat in the ring. He’s an income redistribution it’s, but at least he’s dovish on foreign policy, hates the NDAA and comes across as pro-first, fourth and fifth amendment, which is a rarity today.

        A Wyden vs Paul general would send shockwaves through the ranks of both parties. The warmongers would be totally fucked.

        1. I’m really surprised people buy Warren as a national candidate. She’s a joke and only appeals to a minority fringe, albeit a very loud one.

        2. I’m 100% sure that Paul is not going to be the nominee. Sheldon Adelson and his neocon cohort won’t let him win.

          If he does win the nomination, I will show up at the first Reasonoid meetup after the RNC and buy everyone a round of drinks.

          1. We have to make sure the first Reasonoid meetup is in GA and make Injun buy PB a drink!

          2. I’m not so sure. He’s not likely to win, but there are some pretty interesting views about him in the party, including a surprisingly widely held one that he’d be the most popular candidate they could put up in the general. I’ve heard a few different conservative commentators say that he’d have an easy time with Clinton or most other likely Democratic nominees, given his broad appeal. You’d think that would mean they’d be backing him like crazy, but no, this is the stupid and mostly statist GOP leadership we’re talking about. Still, the fact that they are saying such things seems to indicate a willingness to accept him if he manages to win the nomination.

        3. The warmongers would be fucked until General Lindsey Graham brought in the troops to make sure the Electoral College didn’t leave until they “got it right”

      2. You’re selling the democratic party short; they have lots of politically strong women who are too corrupt to make it as a presidential candidate.

        See California for examples.

        1. BINDERS full of politically strong, corrupt women!

    3. Hillary Clinton is to the Democrats in 2016 what Mitt Romney was to the Republicans in 2012.

      An inevitable candidate with lukewarm support.

      Democrats See No Choice but Hillary Clinton in 2016

      1. What’s sad is that it’s all smoke and mirrors. Given her background, she’s one of the most inexperienced candidates that are likely to run, and the resume lines she did get by virtue of her husband (why this doesn’t matter is beyond me, as you’d think they’d want a self-made woman) are just that–a job title and not a fucking accomplishment of note. Rather the reverse. But she’s their big name?

        They do have other candidates, including some who have all but announced. But the leadership and the media keep pretending that this is an incumbent running for re-election. Typical bullshit from and around the Clintons. We can’t find anyone more capable as a leader and more honest than this? Really?

        1. I agree. However, I think at this point in her career, she is has more experience than Mr. Community Organizer did when he ascended the throne in 2009.

          That said, I would much rather vote for someone with solid private sector experience – not for managerial skills, but for knowing bloody well how rough the government is on the private sector.

          I voted Gary Johnson in 2012 partly for that reason. A guy who started working as a handyman and built a $700 million company is what America needs.

          1. Oh, sure. But I think at least some of their leadership realize that that inexperienced political hack has cost them dearly.

  11. Benghazi: It’s baaaaaaaaack…

    Clinton’s server also hosts all her downloaded episodes of Ice Road Truckers. And a first draft of Vince Foster’s suicide note.

    1. It’s FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      /Shriek

      1. ^nice! they should add that to the comment menu as ‘shriek’ right next to ‘link’, ‘quote’, ‘bold’, etc.

      2. Ambassador Vreenak approves.

  12. Badger Badger Badger…

    Stressed Badger Holds Hotel Guests Hostage For 40 Minutes

    The testy mustelid showed up at the Radisson Blu about 5 a.m. on Friday, the AFP reports. After around 40 minutes of nobody being able to get in or out of the place, employees called police.

    The badger ultimately left the premises of its own accord, according to a Stockholm police report. The police report noted that the badger seemed “crazy” or “stressed out,” according to AFP’s translation.

    Albin Birch, Stockholm police spokesman, told Swedish newspaper DN that the badger was likely irritable because he had just been woken up from hibernation, according to a translation by the Telegraph.

    1. This event may also apply to Frank Kaminsky if Wisconsin loses in the Sweet 16 in a couple weeks.

    2. Was it a wooden badger?

    3. Nobody has a broom? I had no idea swedes were pussies.

      1. Dude, badgers will fuck your shit up. Mustelidae in general just do not give a fuck about anything.

        1. I’ve chased most everything that’s ever walked or crawled with a broom. Except a panther. They’re hard to come by now a days.

          1. I’ll be looking for you on a future episode of “Gator Boys”.

        2. Well, we certainly know Mellivorniae doesn’t give a shit.

        3. You could almost say they don’t care, especially the honey badger…

    4. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Testy Mustelids, a thrash metal band from Gothenburg, will be playing two shows Saturday night at the Radisson Blue. Recently reunited after a decade of rancor and personal issues plagued the band, fans can expect to hear a couple of new tunes, as well as old favorites such as “There’s A Badger In My Dungeon” and “Interrupted Hibernation — the Coda.”

  13. I wonder how many Obama-worshipping morons in this country still believe that “Hands up, don’t shoot” was real even though it never happened. More blood on the hands of Obama, Holder, and their lickspittles in the JournoList.

    1. I know why you idiots are so confused. You think that anyone who is not a slick-haired GOP redneck like yourself is a Black Panther Louis Farrakan racist asshole.

      There is a wide and varied political spectrum. Obama is a pro-trade centrist capitalist secular liberal – far more like a Warren Buffett than a Hugo Chavez.

      I am waiting for Obama to finalize the TPP and piss off all the protectionist progressives who are fighting that free trade agreement like crazy.

      1. I know how happy sick scumbags like you are over these cops getting shot Weigel. Go ahead and admit that you’re hoping that they die.

        1. Best to not feed it.

      2. In a room full of idiots, someone must be king

        1. Someone must sit on the Throne of Derp?

          1. Heavy is the head that wears the Crown of Derp.

      3. pro-trade centrist capitalist secular liberal –

        one of these is not like the others.

        1. His speeches sound straight out of Caracas. “Centrist” – LOL.

        2. In what is no doubt a surprise to you Progressives consider Obama a traitor to their movement.

          Obama is a pro-corporate capitalist free trade whore sellout to them.

          1. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully with this book, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

          2. Obama is a pro-corporate capitalist free trade whore sellout to them.

            Yes, Obama is a crony, allright. But he is not a capitalist. Nor is he free-trade.

          3. Replace “capitalist free trade” with “cronyist” and I think you’ve described him to a T.

            1. Buttplug is not being inaccurate – progressives, at least the ones that i know, do tend to conflate “pro-corporate,” “capitalist,” and “free trade.”

      4. ‘Obama is a pro-trade centrist capitalist secular liberal’

        Ha, ha.

        You funny.

    2. Isn’t that like blaming Sarah Palin for the Gabbie Giffords shooting?

      1. Really the lowlife scum in the media are rhe ones who are to blame for this. They ceased being fair and honest reporters of facts quite a while ago, and whipping up racial hatred is one of their favorite pastimes. They absolutely love what’s going on over there.

        1. You have no idea who fired the gun or why. Shut up.

          Though you get a point for not calling him Block Yomamma. That’s something.

    3. I think Obama and Holder carry quite a bit of blame for the handling of this. The primary responsibility goes to the local officials, but since they were the object of scorn their credibility was going to be low anyway.

      Even though the Administration had all of the information they needed to determine that the officer was not guilty of a crime and the “hands up, don’t shoot” narrative was false, they never came out and said so. Even after the DoJ report was released there still has been no forceful statement to this fact from Obama or Holder.

      This is not because they don’t have such a role to play, because this is manifestly their role. They could calm people and enhance the peace by simply making a strong public statement. But instead they chose to show solidarity with the protesters in a show of naked political pandering.

      Who knows if this shooting would have happened if they had done the right thing last year when the grand jury came back? Somehow I doubt that tonight’s protest would have happened at all, so maybe this shooting would never have happened.

      1. Given the shitshow the grand jury turned out to be, I would imagine the protests would still be going on.

  14. Spot the Not: Stan Jones, our favorite silver-drinking purple libertarian

    1. Don’t use tap water to make your colloidal silver. Use pure distilled water only.
    And don’t take very large dosages or strong concentrations for long periods of time.

    2. We know for a fact that the body is able to process colloidal silver quite well if it is
    made correctly and the dosage levels and concentrations are not too high.

    3. The discoloration is very minimal. I have not turned blue. The extent of skin discoloration
    is not even remotely near what the news media are saying. It is barely noticeable.

    4. Being alive is more important than turning purple.

    5. I can feel a cold coming on right now, so I am going to start using colloidal silver again.

    6. I am proud to have been pioneer in the field of colloidal silver medicine.

    1. Huh. Well, I’m going with 4.

  15. Rep. Elijah Cummings of Maryland, the senior Democrat on the Benghazi panel, called the dispute over Clinton’s emails a distraction and said he hopes the Benghazi panel “will return to its purpose of investigating the attacks in Benghazi instead of attempting to impact the 2016 presidential election.”

    Careful there, Congressman. Ol’ Trey might go after *you*, too.

  16. “There is virtually no inexpensive housing left in D.C.’s private market,” according to a new report from the Fiscal Policy Institute, which found almost no apartments renting for $800 per month or under available to those not receiving public assistance.

    Rent control, keeping rents down.

  17. “There is virtually no inexpensive housing left in D.C.’s private market,” according to a new report from the Fiscal Policy Institute, which found almost no apartments renting for $800 per month or under available to those not receiving public assistance.

    Well, money chases power. That partly explains why housing has gotten expensive in the place where loot is divvied up.

    The solution to the above problem is obviously more public housing and rent controls. There’s no problem that strengthening the hand of government can’t solve.

    1. And then some developer will come in and want to build a “mixed income development” and get tax breaks to help build it. Yay.

      1. zOMG Poor doors!!one!

        1. It’s unfair that they have to use a separate entrance to the luxury building they don’t pay full price for!

          1. Deblasio’s latest brainfart includes prohibiting not just poor doors, but different amenities, views, etc. for his crony lottery winners. So not only do you get to pay for some secion 8 deadbeat’s apartment – you get to live next door to them too. Progress!

            1. So they get some of the top floor penthouses, too?

              1. I dunno… but why the hell not?! It’s only fair.

    2. Don’t forget more zoning and building codes.

      1. Give me zoning codes or give me death

        1. or?

        2. Sorry, this area isn’t zoned for homicide.

  18. The U.S. Has Too Much Oil and Nowhere to Put It

    Not only are the tanks at Cushing filling up, so are those across much of the U.S. Facilities in the Midwest are about 70 percent full, while the East Coast is at about 85 percent capacity. This has some analysts beginning to wonder if the U.S. has enough room to store all its oil. Ed Morse, the global head of commodities research at Citigroup, raised that concern on Feb. 23 at an oil symposium hosted by the Council on Foreign Relations in New York. “The fact of the matter is, we’re running out of storage capacity in the U.S.,” he said.

    1. I wonder if the federal ban on oil exports has something to do with anything…

      1. Wait. Seriously? They banned oil exports? Jesus Christ this country is fucking stupid.

        1. Ever since the OPEC embargo in the 70s.

        2. It’s not the country that’s stupid, it’s the elected official/government bureaucrat circle jerk that’s stupid.

    2. Is there some EPA regulation preventing building more?

      1. There are so many regulations that it can take a decade to get permission in place and get it built. And a new refinery is almost impossible.

        1. Contrary to your wingmutt talking point the oil industry has been closing refineries due to too much capacity. Those refineries could have operated indefinitely.

          1. They’re closing because they’re old and inefficient, and the government won’t let them upgrade to modern technology.

            1. Funny how nearly every refinery in the US has been upgraded in the last couple of decades.

              1. “Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!”

              2. Not compared to overseas.

            2. PB is actually right about refineries all being upgraded in the last two decades. But the reson for the upgrades is because that’s to only way to store oil since new refineries aren’t being built to keep up with productivity of the wells that weren’t in operation two decades ago.

              Pumping efficiency has gone up. Demand has gone up. But storage capacity has gone slightly down due to refinery shutdowns and accidents. If people were allowed to build new refineries, storage wouldn’t be an issue…
              …even though it’s not a serious issue anyway. Oil can be pumped back into dry wells if need be and maintained there until refineries can accept it.

              But I do want to reiterate that PB is correct. Refineries have to be upgraded with some regularity to comply with EPA regs. The timeline is much shorter than two decades as well. I’d wager that every fitting in every refinery has been replaced within the past ten years at most.

          2. Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ shit, or did you have to work on it?

          3. Refineries do not,”close”. Companies just stop using them and maintain them for,potential future use.

            That’s been standard procedure since refineries started oping up in Pennsylvania over a century ago.

    3. the global head of commodities research at Citigroup

      I’m sure his only concern is that the oil export ban is impacting the storage capacity. There’s no danger that he’s angling for not only a repeal of the ban but Ex-Im Bank loans to finance sales of crude to Greece or something. As bad as the restriction of free trade the export prohibition is, this guy is about the last to be trusted to be raising any principled arguments about letting the free market work.

    4. “This has some analysts beginning to wonder if the U.S. has enough room to store all its oil.”

      Just store it underground.

  19. Agony of man, 42, who broke his PENIS during sex (and says he heard it snap)
    Man, from Boston, had accidentally hit his penis on his partner’s perineum
    He heard a snap, immediately lost his erection and saw blood spurting out
    He felt searing pain and went to A&E where he was sent for an operation
    Had torn his tunica albuginea, the outer sheath of his penis’ inner chamber
    Was checked 3 and 6 months later and had recovered from the ordeal

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/hea…..ation.html
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

    1. Radley Balko, back when he was still posting at his own site, linked to an acquaintance/intern of his who fractured his penis during sex and blogged about the aftermath.

      1. All that comes to mind is that there is no more sure sign that you’re doing it wrong.

        1. No. Shit.

      2. Balko’s greatest nut-punch ever?

    2. Agony of Man is an unfortunate but appropriate name?

      /How I originally read post.

  20. Female staff at notorious Manhattan Wild West themed bar say they were forced to wear skimpy outfits, sacked if they put on weight, and forced to remove

    their shirts and kiss on top of its mechanical bull
    The women were forced to remove wedding rings, sit on male customers’ laps, and kiss each other while riding a mechanical bull, say court papers
    On one occasion, some were asked to wrestle in a pool of cranberry sauce
    Some were secretly filmed and the footage was put online without consent
    Johnny Utah’s bar, located in New York’s Rockefeller Center, has settled with more than 50 former employees for an unspecified amount

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rced-kiss-

    mechanical-bull-50-receive-payouts.html
    Forced? I don’t think that word means what they think it means.

    1. Forced? Like at the point of a gun? Or was it just what they expected to do in exchange for pay, and could refuse to work there if they objected??

      1. Hey didn’t you know that there were absolutely no other jobs available for young hot waitresses in New York?

        They had no choices whatsoever available to them but to accept whatever degrading working conditions their sexist boss forced on them because the only alternative was starvation

    2. “On one occasion, some were asked to wrestle in a pool of cranberry sauce”

      SugarFree is a manager there?

      1. That was no cranberry sauce!

  21. Florida ain’t got nothin on Ohio:

    Akron Police searching for ‘Bowel Movement Bandit‘ accused of pooping on 19 parked cars since 2012

    The Bowel Movement Bandit strikes between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. On Wednesday morning, a resident caught the suspect on film.

    Warty, zat you?

    1. The Bowel Movement Bandit strikes between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m.

      A regular scoundrel, that one is.

      1. cue Switzy.

        1. *squints in a vaguely alpine manner*

    2. If he’s taking a dump on a Daimler-Chrysler vehicle, he’s just adding to the pile of shit that it already is.

    3. I think Johnny Football is trying to force a trade to Green Bay.

      http://www.sbnation.com/lookit…..n-a-hamper

  22. Pelosi: My trip to Syria was nothing like the GOP’s Iran letter

    The office of the House minority leader issued a scathing statement Wednesday night saying her meeting with Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad was part of a bipartisan effort ? conducted through the Bush administration ? to negotiate a peace deal with Damascus and accusing the Republicans of launching a “desperate” defense of their Iran letter to mask criticisms coming from both sides of the aisle.

    “The desperate hyperventilation by Republicans and conservative talkers over the intense, national backlash to this letter has caused them to search for a Democratic equivalent to the dangerous precedent set by 47 Republican Senators,” said Pelosi spokesman Drew Hammill. “The fact is, there is simply not one.”

    1. ” My trip to Syria was nothing like the GOP’s Iran letter”

      I had the sense to use papyrus to honor the Middle East because I’m edumacated that way.

  23. Police officer fired after brutal footage showed him forcing his knee against female suspect’s neck causing her to pass out in Denver holding cell
    James Medina accused of using inappropriate force on Seryina Trujillo
    Presses his knee against her throat during scuffle until she goes limp
    Medina didn’t seek medical attention for suspect or report use of force
    He has appealed sacking, saying Trujillo was scratching and biting him

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-neck.html
    Cops just love to choke people. It’s one of their favorite things to do.

    1. Her neck made a furtive movement.

      1. She’s lucky he didn’t fear for his life and shoot her.

  24. Man who has pooped on 19 cars over TWO YEARS being hunted by police in Ohio
    The man has defecated on 19 parked cars in driveways since May 2012
    Bowel-movement bandit strikes just after 5:30 a.m.
    Filthy felon has now been caught on film

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-Ohio.html
    19 cars and counting!

  25. Sheer horror! Chinese woman suffers an online shopping fail with a VERY ill-fitting cut-out dress that isn’t quite the glamorous gown she thought she was

    buying
    Daring dress with sheer panels purchased from eCommerce site Taobao
    Disgruntled customer posted comparison pictures online
    The dress is a copy of one worn by Thor actress Jaime Alexander in 2013

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..uying.html
    Sorry lady, but it ain’t the dress’ fault you’re fat and lumpy.

  26. Hillary Clinton email excuses ‘laughable,’ says top freedom-of-information official

    Hillary Clinton’s defenders say she’s sufficiently explained why she set up a do-it-yourself home email system when she was secretary of state, insist there’s nothing to see here, and it’s time to move on.

    You know who disagrees?

    The senior-most freedom-of-information official in the executive branch of the United States government for over a quarter-century, whose job it was to help four administrations ? including the Clinton White House ? interpret the Freedom of Information Act, offer advice, and testify before Congress on their behalf.

    Daniel Metcalfe doesn’t buy her explanation. In fact, he calls it laughable

    1. Fake. Scandal.

      1. Notice shreek isn’t jumping to her defense the way he does every time Obumbles farts. I think the progressive left is holding their breath and hoping this sinks her so they can support Warren.

        If it doesn’t sink her Warren won’t run and shreek will jump in for the Hildebeast, watch and see.

  27. Spot the Not: Lyndon LaRouche

    1. Jazz was foisted on black Americans by the same oligarchy which had run the U.S. slave trade, with the help of the classically trained but immoral George Gershwin and the Paris-New York circuit of drug-taking avant-garde artists

    2. The Beatles had no genuine musical talent, but were a product shaped according to British Psychological Warfare Division (Tavistock) specifications, and promoted in Britain by agencies which are controlled by British intelligence

    3. The first, and most important fact to be recognized concerning the Hitler regime,
    is that Adolf Hitler was put into power in Germany on orders from London.
    The documentation of this matter is abundant and conclusive.

    4. Apart from those accomplishments which are as much an organic product of the U.S. Labor Party as my own efforts, my principal accomplishment is that of being, by a large margin of advantage, the leading economist of the twentieth century to date. That distinction can be most easily defended, since it is not quantitative, but qualitative.

    5. Natural law has been overturned by corporate fiction. That thing some call the flag with the gold fringe around it is the Jolly Roger and the judges act as its privateers. So-called American courts are run by British-recognized esquires.

    6. Who is pushing the world toward war? is the forces behind the World Wildlife Fund, the Club of Rome, and the heritage of H.G. Wells and the evil Bertrand Russell.

    1. He’s still alive?

      Ima say 5.

    2. 6.

    3. It’s hard to guess which statement is the least crazy and therefore not him.

    4. Hm. Sounds like 5.

      1. Ooops. FIVE.

        /winks at Tundra.

    5. The Not is #5- it is a composite quote from this guy:

      http://www.splcenter.org/blog/…..-showdown/

  28. How racist frat boys get away with it: Big money and the real Sigma Alpha Epsilon scandal

    While the school is currently united in denouncing the fraternity chapter, Boren may lose that support if he has more sweeping reforms in store for the university’s Greek system. As we’ve seen at other schools, colleges are often more concerned about the prospect of angry donors than they are about racism, sexual violence and abusive hazing on campus. That warped set of priorities is part of the reason that problems often linked with fraternity culture ? including racist and sexist theme parties, sexual assault, violent initiation rituals and dangerous binge drinking ? continue to fester in broad daylight. Because taking on fraternities generally means taking on a school’s wealthiest donors, too.

    Government agencies responsible for ensuring equal access to education ? like the Office of Civil Rights in its enforcement of Title IX, for example ? are loath to revoke funding for schools that fail to address bigotry, discrimination and violence on campus. But angry parents and well-heeled donors who came out of the Greek system are much more willing to cut the purse strings if they think a school has stepped out of line and is coming down too hard on their boys.

    1. Got away with what? Is it illegal to have racists thoughts now?

      Will anyone have the balls to stand up and say that you have the right to hate anyone you want whether it’s due to color, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, etc etc..

      Seriously I’m sick of this thought police crap. People have a right to be racist, to have racists thoughts, to say racist things, etc.

      These goddamned Social Justice types are actually getting me to the point where I am defending racism.

      1. These goddamned Social Justice types are actually getting me to the point where I am defending racism.

        It’s all part of their “libertarians are racist teahadists” playbook.

      2. **Stands up**

        You have the right to hate anyone you want whether it’s due to color, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, etc etc..

  29. Mother Jones declares that eating 3 meals a day is racist:

    http://www.motherjones.com/env…..nch-dinner

    1. At least all the comments make fun of the author. That makes me feel better.

    2. What I’ve heard is that the Human Instruction Manual was mistranslated. We’re actually supposed to eat one meal every three days.

    3. The racist angle is idiotic, but the rest of the article isn’t completely stupid. The three meals a day thing actually did develop because it fits nicely into a typical work day, and it really doesn’t matter much when you get your daily calories.

    4. Meh, they are just jealous of Maduro making light of the shortages and lines socialism has created in Venezuela.

      Mother Jones, you are going to have as much luck creating poverty here as Obumbles has had creating oil shortages and skyrocketing energy prices.

      1. Still. it’s not for lack of trying.

        1. No, its not for lack of trying on either account, but there is a reason we are a wealthy country. Americans on the whole are industrious and resilient.

    5. University Prep is fully aware of and supports Mr. Rifkin’s work with his students as part of our commitment to provide our students an education that helps them grow into socially responsible, intellectually courageous citizens of the world

      Paging barfman!

      1. Oops, wrong thread… it belongs in the other racism thread…no, not the OU one, the Seattle one.

  30. Corporations can do whatever they want: Why our tax system subsidizes criminals

    This crazy quirk in America’s laws to deter corporate crime forces victims to help subsidize criminals. Follow the bouncing ball here: First, a court orders a corporation to pay punitive damages to a victim of its criminal acts; second, the corporate offender pays up, and then merrily subtracts a big chunk of that payment from its income tax, effectively taking money out of our public treasury; third, while the criminal is counting its tax break, the victim is notified that the punitive damage money he or she received from the corporation will be taxed as “regular income;” fourth, that means a big chunk of the victim’s payment goes into the treasury to replenish the public money the corporate villain subtracted.

    1. These fuckers haven’t heard of tax incidence, have they?

    2. Paying less taxes is the same as taking money out of the treasury?

      Did Tony write this?

      1. As if there is any money in the public treasury to take.

    3. And yet he fails to identify the problem as “government”.

      1. He fails to identify “government”.

    4. What a jumble of assumption and mistruths all cemented together by something ? something ? something?.

    5. I will say it seems a bit odd if people are taxed on damage awards. At least for actual damages and not punitive ones.

  31. Physics teacher at Seattle school decides to add white privilege to the syllabus:

    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..sics-class

    Homework assignments for the physics-class lesson include Peggy McIntosh’s White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. Rifkin also recommends that the students listen to Macklemore.

    1. This crap is seeping into real science now?

      1. No… just into high school physics classes. In other words an education major is introducing SJW baloney into a science class.

        1. Well I heard the moral basis for social justice warfare is rooted in science so it makes sense.

          I am kidding fyi, this is literally worse than creationism in science class.

      2. The laws of thermodynamics apply differently to white people than to blacks. Didn’t you know that?

        1. Sure, it’s why white men can’t jump.

        2. “White pressure enthalpy curves been bendin’ like dis, but BLACK pressure enthalpy curves be bendin’ like DIS!”

    2. He will also be requiring them to read “Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity”.

    3. Ok so how is teaching White Privilege any different then if a teacher came in and said that the Jews controlled world banking or something? These are the same type of assholes who can find hidden racism in a weather report, but can’t see the racism they spew from their own goddamned mouths.

      1. Duh. One is about a group of people they view as enemies, and the other one isn’t.

        1. …and the other one isn’t

          Yet.

      2. “Jews controlled world banking ” clearly belongs in the economics course.

    4. I am gonna guess that Peggy McIntosh is not actually a physicist. In fact, I am gonna guess she had no university physics at all.

      Education/Sociology major?

      1. Nope, English major. Here is her magnum opus:

        link

  32. Two senior Secret Service agents allegedly drove a government car into White House security barricades last week after drinking at a party. Anonymous officials say police wanted to arrest and sobriety test the agents but were ordered to let them go home.

    The local paper had a story about a local police chief who got busted for DUI. Not only is he fighting his license suspension, but the courts are refusing to give up any information about the case. Anyone else would have had an automatic 180 day suspension and had all the court info in the news. Must be nice…

    1. No. Double. Standard.

      1. And he’s still on the job.

    2. The Secret Service has a proud tradition of drinking and whoring. The agents at JFK’s assassination were hung over from partying the whole previous night.

      I wrote an article examining whether the Secret Service are good for anything:

      http://platedlizard.blogspot.c…..hless.html

  33. Blue Rocks And Krispy Kreme Partner On New Ballpark Food Choice
    The Doughnut Dog Is Coming To Frawley Stadium In 2015

    Fans will be able to purchase a hotdog that comes in a bun made of a traditional Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut. If that’s not distinctive enough for your taste buds, there will also be a hot dog inside a traditional Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut bun with bacon and raspberry jelly drizzled on top. This invention is what the team needs your help with.

    It is missing a name.

    1. Does it include a prescription for Crestor?

    2. “The Double Squirter”

    3. Pig with a tampon.

  34. Slate writer: Universities Are Right?and Within Their Rights?to Crack Down on Speech and Behavior; Students today are more like children than adults and need protection.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/…..ingle.html

    1. We are all children, and we need a fatherly king as described in Robert Filmer’s 1680 classic “Patriarcha“.

    2. Infantilizing generations of people has worked out so well.

    3. That article is an impressive display of one writer’s ability to pack maximum derp into minimum space. It is almost unholy in its stupidity.

      1. In the old days, didn’t they treat children as adults in order to make adults out of them? And now we’re treating adults as children. Gee, I wonder what we’ll make out of them?

    4. If university students are children, shouldn’t OU be arrested for abandonment?

  35. Is the alt-text hidden in one of Hillary’s private emails?

    1. ENB has already produced all the alt text there is. Why won’t you just move on?

      1. Peak alt-text is not real!

    1. I’m going to grab some popcorn to watch the heretic get burned.

    2. And that’s just the paperwork. Wait until she actually needs health care and learns the difference between having insurance and receiving care.

    3. “But I have to say, you’ve let us down in a big way. This health care system blows.”

      Caught her off guard, did it? Unexpected? Why oh why didn’t anyone warn her?

      Fuck you Melissa. I hope you spend 18 hours bleeding on a gurney in an emergency room hallway waiting for some bureaucrat to give the hospital permission to treat you.

      1. I’m sure she was right there mocking the very people who warned that implementing this thing would be a disastrous clusterfuck.

    4. Wow. She wanted the government to run healthcare, and then is amazed to find out that the government runs healthcare just like it runs everything else.

    5. I get a feeling like this is similar to those “I used to be a libertarian” articles at Salon.

    6. The gold:

      According to Forbes, “1 in 8 of those covered by Covered California???received a bad tax statement.”

      That’s unacceptable. Can you imagine if 1 in 8 Amazon orders were incorrect? No. Because it wouldn’t happen. If Bezos can figure out how to ship the right shit within an hour in NYC, surely our government can figure out how to generate a form?

      Perhaps we have an incipient libertarian??

  36. Are Prisoners Less Likely To Be Atheists?

    There are other noticeable differences: a prisoner is 39 times more likely than an un-incarcerated person to identify his or her religion as American Indian. Conversely, prisoners are far less likely to be Protestant than the rest of the country.2

    Most importantly though, Caroline, you appear to be right about religiosity in prison. Overall, almost 1 in every 1,000 prisoners will identify as atheist compared to 1 in every 100 Americans.

    1. American Indian is a religion?

      1. Lizzie Warren is the High Priestess.

      2. There is that one where you get to take peyote.

        It is pretty stupid when people talk about American Indians as if they are a single ethnic group.

      3. THe possibility of using peyote in a religious ceremony?

        1. Guess I should read ahead?

    2. I didn’t read the article. But I think this has more to do with where the people are when they took the survey. If I were in prison I’d assume (rightly!) that nothing I did was private, including surveys. And being part of prison means doing what it takes to make it look like you’re a model prisoner, which some would argue, includes appearing to be religious. So, yeah, if I were in jail I’d lie to say I wasn’t atheist, if it made me look like a better prisoner.

      1. This.

        I know a guy who used to run the jail in Avoyelles. He said the prisoners all carried bibles with them while they were there but when they were released they tossed them in the trash on the way out the door.

      2. There’s a lot of religious recruitment going on in prisons too, right?

    3. Seventeen percent of inmates listed “no preference” for their religion, but the Bureau of Prisons couldn’t clarify how that is different from the 3 percent of prisoners who described themselves as “Other,” so I decided to cut it out of the data.

      I think I see a problem here…

      1. Yeah, there is a pretty clear difference between those two responses.

  37. Riddle me this, Batman: Bill Clinton says he only sent 2 emails as president. So why did he have a private server which he gave to Hillary?

    1. It was a gift from Al Gore.

      1. It was a gift from Al Gore.

        Did he create the email server when he invented the Internet?

    2. Permit me: “Because I could.”

    3. Why does anyone need their own private email server?

  38. “There is virtually no inexpensive housing left in D.C.’s private market,” according to a new report from the Fiscal Policy Institute, which found almost no apartments renting for $800 per month or under available to those not receiving public assistance.

    Now if only legislators could restrain themselves long enough to let pent up demand spur a growth in supply so the true value of property in the area will be reflected in housing costs.

    1. But new construction is only luxury units going to rich people! We need to slow it down so rents don’t get too high.

      (This is what they actually believe.)

    2. Oh the supply of housing is exploding in DC for the past few years. New high rises and townhouses all over the place. None for $800/mo. Hell, none under $1500/mo.

      1. Yep, but the 2000 a month efficiencies that went up right next door to my run down apartment meant that I didn’t have to compete with the people who think that price is reasonable when renting my slightly old but still good apartment. Every person that rents one of those ridiculously high rent places is one less person willing to pay more than I can afford to live in my slightly less nice apartment.

  39. Tourist Fatally Injured by Jumping Whale

    And you thought jumping the shark was bad!

    1. Cue the SJW claiming it was just getting revenge for the centuries of whaling.

    2. At least her death was memorable. “How’d Sue die?” “She was crushed by a whale” …………..”really?”

      1. “Yes, just like John.” 😉

        1. “Ouch!” wailed John’s pelvis.

  40. I’m noticing improvement of the site on mobile. Unfortunately it still seems to suck on PC.

    1. Yeah, mobile definitely improved.

  41. STEPHAN A. SMITH SAYS:

    Chip Kelly is racist.

    Well, with a name like Chip how can he NOT be, amirite?

    ESPN is such a fucking joke for keeping that guy on board.

    1. ESPN is such a fucking joke for keeping that guy on board.

      Personally, I like this better.

  42. I’m laughing really hard at the pearl clutchers linked to in that ENB article about sex-dolls. The PJ Media article worrying about sex dolls is fantastic:

    “But what happens when the robot isn’t a woman but a child? What happens when the sex being simulated isn’t erotic and intimate but violent and destructive? What happens when the sexual simulation ends like a combination video game and snuff film? What happens when a bunch of teenage boys pool their money to buy a robot prostitute they can gang rape? And what happens when that is what 13-year-old boys experience as their first initiations into a sexual life?”

    The answer to all the questions except the final one are the same: It doesn’t matter because they’re not real people and therefore you cannot rape them.

    As to the last question, I’m pretty sure it’s up to the parent to make sure their 13 year old doesn’t have access to sex dolls.

    1. What is the point in robot sex dolls if I cant abuse them? If I have to treat them respect and take them out on the town I might as well get a real woman.

    2. You’re not thinking like an animist. I’m surprised they haven’t tried to ban voodoo dolls.

      Or inflatable love sheep: http://www.muttonbone.com/

      1. inflatable love sheep

        Nice band name.

        Seriously, great site. Thanks!

      2. Muttonbone.

        I gave myself a headache laughing at that site. Holy shit.

      3. from the FAQ

        The sheep has had a special relationship with man since the dawn of history. For thousands of years, shepherds, farmers, and fraternity pledges have sought the comforts of a convenient sheep when a woman was unavailable. We happen to think this is truly revolting, so as a public service (and a shameless attempt to profit from this bizarre phenomenon) we created the Love Ewe Inflatable Love Sheep. We fully intend that the Love Ewe be used solely as a gag gift or home adornment.

        1. No wonder all the great intellectual concepts such as monotheism and using the zero in arithmetic come from pastoral societies where herdsmen sit around all night with nothing to do except think things up. (Though it is a wonder more cosmologies aren’t founded on screwing sheep. )

    3. I posted this video in the other thread, but am doing some again because I want this guy to run for office.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCGYnlJfOOk

      “I promise not to have sex with your real doll … any more than necessary to ensure that my repairs are solid.”

    4. But what happens when the robot isn’t a woman but a child?

      The robot is neither a woman nor a child.

    5. But what happens when the robot isn’t a woman but a child?

      Charles Stross examined this idea in Rule 34, which also mentioned a case of a cannibal club in England whose members use homebrew cloning kits to grow steaks made from their own cells. The people in the club all get arrested but then no one can figure out what to charge them with.

      The near-future is a wacky place.

  43. Warning: Extreme Derp

    Read this

    Then watch:
    https://youtu.be/fmO-ziHU_D8?t=38s

    Turn down volume if viewing at work.

    1. Hovering over the link reveals it’s Salon. I think I’ll skip reading it.

    2. It left me breathless and wanting less.

    3. In the typical Salon fashion, the writer is constantly injecting herself and her emotions into every paragraph. That’s the type of “debate” she values

      Black students have not only excelled at traditional debate, but they have invented new modes of competitive forensics, including a more performative style of debate that incorporates rap music, poetry and personal anecdotes.

      The addition of “rap music, poetry and personal anecdotes” is not so much an innovation as it is a degeneration. And this derp writer celebrates it.

      In the final round, the Oklahoma team, who took the affirmative side, offered a performative argument that “war powers should not be waged against niggas.” Using the colloquial form of the n-word, they sought to disrupt the very assumptions of the resolution, by placing the relationship between race and U.S. militarism front and center.

      The intrinsic moxie and audacity of this kind of argument exposes the flaws in traditional forms of debate performativity.

      This juvenile bullshit doesn’t challenge anything but I guess if we could just set the bar low enough it might work…

      1. I can’t read anymore and I’m not watching the damn video whatever it is. I got half way through the Salon article and I’m broken.

      2. I can’t read anymore and I’m not watching the damn video whatever it is. I got half way through the Salon article and I’m broken.

      3. “The intrinsic moxie and audacity of this kind of argument…..is no argument at all, but rather, as someone yesterday described it, a ranting temper tantrum.

        1. Frequently, Black success is met with white temper tantrums and passive aggressive attempts to resituate power through calls for a return to ‘tradition.’

          I love how she capitalizes ‘Black’ all over the article and does feel the same consistency is required when writing ‘white’.

          I don’t know why but I can’t stop reading it I hate it so much. I’ll probably watch the fucking video too.

          1. If it is the debate video that was posted last night, watch it or you will not understand. Truly amazing.

      4. That is an incredibly patronizing and insulting observation. Black professionals, of whom there are plenty, don’t act that way at all. They’re like other professionals. . .which is how they get and maintain those jobs. It’s not like the rest of us don’t have cultural values and traditions that we also don’t bring into our professional lives.

        I’m flabbergasted that many blacks accept these frankly racist and condescending views from leftists.

    4. I knew it. You are a sadist.

      1. Sir, I am a professional doing a public service.

    5. The article’s apologia for this bullshit is that anyone who points out how it is complete bullshit is a racist.

      I was shocked to discover that the author is a black woman. Shocked, I tell you.

      1. Brittney Cooper, the Shame of Rutgers. If I had some of the sweet ass Koch money, I’d send a sample of her writing to the parents of every high school senior that applied, so they could see the erudition they are paying for.

        1. I shared news of Ameena’s and Korey’s championship in my social networks with special pride because this coming fall will mark my 20th anniversary as part of the policy debate community. I made the debate team as a precocious 13 year-old high school student, and have remained a part of that community in one form or another as debater, coach, debate camp instructor and tournament judge, for the last two decades.

          Other than the influence of my fourth grade teacher, I give no other academic experience more credit for informing how I think, write, research and communicate.

          You know who else was still crowing about their debate team successes years later?

          That’s right: joe.

          1. Debating God’s work on some of the meanest streets ins America?

      2. I don’t blame the author for this insanity. I blame the people in positions of power and influence who insist this shit must be tolerated as having any kind of validity, or as anything other than the nonsense it is.

    6. I watched the video. I hate you Derpetologist.

    7. I have watched the video and now must go to the store an buy brain bleach. The 5 gallon industrial size sold at Sams. The comment section was even worse. It was a cross between Stormfront and Louis Farrakhan.

    1. “Let’s come up with the most substance less, inane and self absorbed crap we can and troll people with it. If they criticize us we can call them racist, misogynist members of the white patriarchy.”

      I am sure there is more of a racist angle to criticizing an all white woman circle jerk(diddle?) than there is to three meals a day. Surely.

    2. You really are a Sadist, you know that, don’t you?

      1. He did have to whatch the video, so sado-masochist?

      2. Son, we live in a world that has morons, and those morons have to be watched. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for yourself, and you curse me. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. Me showing that video probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the derp because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me out there, you need me out there. I use words like herp, derp, herpaderp. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very sanity that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you start googling really stupid shit, and and watch every video. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

        1. And how did that not prove you are a sadist, bub?

          1. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE DERP!

            1. My eyes are bleeding. Please have mercy on me Mr Derp Sir. I can’t stop clicking the links and then I’m frozen into inactivity by the stupidity.

  44. “Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says the Senate’s terrible human trafficking legislation is doomed because Democrats and Republicans can’t agree about a rider restricting funding for abortion. #SilverLinings ”

    Who’s the dipshit who attached the rider?

    1. Or genius? Because I’m certain some wide sweeping bill like this would not have any unforseen consequences.

  45. Six months ago I lost my job and after that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a great website which literally saved me. I started working for them online and in a short time after I’ve started averaging 15k a month… The best thing was that cause I am not that computer savvy all I needed was some basic typing skills and internet access to start… This is where to start……===========
    http://www.jobs-check.com

  46. Six months ago I lost my job and after that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a great website which literally saved me. I started working for them online and in a short time after I’ve started averaging 15k a month… The best thing was that cause I am not that computer savvy all I needed was some basic typing skills and internet access to start… This is where to start……===========
    http://www.jobs-check.com

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