Bold: State Rep Moves to Keep Georgia Free of Werewolves, Mermaids, Centaurs
Via the Google+ feed of Reason's Adrian Moore comes news of how Georgia plans to keep itself free of werewolves, mermaids, centaurs, and other human-animal hybrids that don't, you know, actually exist.
Reports Watchdog.org, a project of nonprofit news-gathering group The Franklin Center for Government & Public Integrity:
State Rep. Tom Kirby, R-Gwinnett, is proposing legislation that would prohibit scientists from attempting to create human-animal hybrids in laboratories by experimenting with DNA….
"I say no. And thats what this bill is really all about," he told the [WXIA in Atlanta]….
When it comes to mermaids, Kirby says humans shouldn't try to create them, "but if they exist, that's fine."
He applies the same standard to werewolves — if they're "naturally occurring in the environment, that's fine…"
But he's not so forgiving about centaurs, which Kirby says have a bad attitude.
"Y'know, I really don't like centaurs," he says. "We've got enough people with bad attitudes as it is."
He's also trying to ban glow-in-the-dark people (theoretically made by splicing together jellyfish DNA with a human).
Let's leave aside the har-har-har elements of the story (of which Kirby is fully aware). Watchdog quotes a different Peach State pol who I think has a better sense of how innovation and scientific discovery works:
Georgia Senate Minority Leader Steve Henson, D-Tucker, worries about the "unintended consequences" of placing limits on what science is allowed to do.
Kirby's bill exempts research from the ban, so scientists who are playing with animal DNA as a potential cure for human diseases would be able to carry-on with their experiments. One promising strain of research shows that shark DNA might help cure cancer, for example.
This story appears in Watchdog's "Nanny of the Week" (coff, coff, rip-off, jes' kiddin'), and writer Eric Boehm gets it right in his wrap-up:
Maybe it's unfair to call Kirby a nanny — after all, he's not banning anything that you and I would likely ever have a chance to do — and his proposal does not deserve to be ridiculed the same way as those that would ban childhood fun or economic activity.
But trying to ban things that don't exist is always a good way to end up here – even with the best of intentions.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
Oh my.
Maybe it's unfair to call Kirby a nanny ? after all, he's not banning anything that you and I would likely ever have a chance to do...
Speak for yourself. I've already spliced a chicken egg and pig flesh together with a human stomach, and that was just this morning.
But more importantly, in Georgia you can still carry in an establishment that serves alcohol, right?
Isn't this bill trying to ban you of said "fire-arm"?
Yep, as long as the owner permits it.
Amateur, I merged the same stuff with avocado. Animal/plant hybrids are all the rage now.
Sounds gross.
From the link
What exactly does a Human Resources Safety Manager do? 95% of the HR personnel I know are worthless, and most safety managers thrive on creating policies that zap safety violations into existence in order to justify their jobs.
YOU'RE MISHANDLING THAT RESUME, YOU COULD GET A PAPERCUT. I'm going to write this up and put it into your file.
What exactly does a Human Resources Safety Manager do?
Keep people from beating the shit out of the HR workers?
Having glow-in-the-dark skin is exactly what I wold call childhood fun.
Kirby can go fuck himself.
It certainly makes playing hide and seek more challenging.
On a side note, Kirby (the Games not the asshole) made my friend who is a digital artist and one of the team leaders on Syphon Filter a very rich man. He wisely negotiated royalties into his contract.
I'm guessing he was the creator of the angry Kirby.
You bastard! Do not send me to the tarpit that is tvtropes, I'd lose the whole workday!
In simpler terms: TV Tropes will ruin your life And you summoned it!
1) Centaurs are well known to be rapists.
2) Wasn't there a story on here a few days ago about 3D printing DNA to design custom critters?
We're a long way away from having the knowledge to create the sort of genetic chimera that would give us a chimera (or a centaur).
Yeah, this is silly so far... Now if, on the other hand, they want to ban having horse-penis genes transplanted to humans, I'd be OK with that, since it just MIGHT cut down on all my friggin' email spam about penis enlargement treatments...
Two words: fractured baculum.
Nice band name.
Also, this is a good place to mention argumentum ad baculum, related to the ever popular FYTW.
Unintended consequences indeed.
If Representative Kirby's bill becomes law, one cure for loneliness will be prevented from ever being invented: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz3jGWYtKl4
Look Georgia already has to deal with Atlantians, how many more quasi human races is one state supposed to put up with?
Nick, that Lon Chaney, Jr. pic and alt-text are HALL OF FAME worthy.
Be on the look out for the Brickbat about Lon's expulsion from school.
... And his hair was perfect!
I'd like to meet his tailor.
Bart Simpson: How would I go about making a half-man, half-monkey type creature?
Sex Ed Teacher: That would be playing God.
Bart Simpson: God, schmod! I want my monkey-man!
This proposed law is clearly a pushback against the torch and pitchfork manufacturers.
...and didn't stop the folks in Jurassic Park either.
That...was a novel.