San Antonio Gets Tough on (Butt) Crack

Strippers could be jailed for revealing "the crevice of their buttocks"


Sugar's of San Antonio/Facebook

Police arrested six people at a San Antonio strip club for violating the city's sexually oriented business ordinance. The arrests took place after undercover officers saw two dancers pull down the waistbands of their thongs in a way that revealed "the crevice of their buttocks." Four dancers and two managers from Sugar's Men's Club were charged. Last month, several dancers from another local club, The Vanity Factory, were also arrested for showing too much skin.

San Antonio city code defines nudity as failure "to cover the human anus, genitals, pubic region, and the areola" and semi-nudity as "a state of dress which fails to fully opaquely cover the crevice of the human buttocks, genitals, pubic region, and the post puberty female breast areola." Both are barred in public places. Employees of strip clubs and other "human display establishments" can apply for special licenses to exempt them, but many don't, choosing instead to reveal only as much as "what you find in a Victoria's Secret catalog." As long as dancers keep their tops on and thongs up, clubs don't have to register as sexually oriented businesses—a designation that comes with all sorts of enhanced regulatory requirements and an annual $575 fee. 

But by not doing so, clubs open themselves up to police harassment over the smallest violations, such as dancers briefly lowering their thongs a little. At Sugar's, "officers said the women were exposing too much of their backside. The managers of Sugars were also cuffed for not doing anything to stop it," according to Fox San Antonio.

San Antonio Police said undercover officers will continue to be on the lookout for these violations, which are a Class A Misdemeanor. That means the dancers and managers won't just receive a citation, they could go to jail.

In 2005, the San Antonio City Council banned full-nude strip clubs. Since 2012, when the city amended its human display law to prohibit pasties from counting as enough breast covering, police have made multiple arrests of dancers and club owners for operating as sexually oriented businesses without the right registration papers. More than a dozen strip clubs sued to stop enforcement of the new ordinance, but a U.S. District Judge ruled against them in 2013.

Meanwhile a former male stripper (and army vet), Pogo Allen-Reese, is running for mayor of San Antonio. Dancers at another San Antonio club, Tiffany's Cabaret, are involved in a federal lawsuit accusing the club of failing to comply with federal wage guidelines. 

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  1. I don’t understand. Isn’t stripping about removing clothing until nude? Though, here in Tampa, it’s less stripping and more being stark naked all the time. And that’s just the Gasparilla Children’s Parade. The strip clubs are even more decadent.

    1. What that one with the spaceship on top? Venus?

      1. No, Mons Venus is across the street. That’s 2001. They’ve both been there for decades, right on one of Tampa’s busiest thoroughfares. Tampa is perfectly fine with you seeing whatever you need to see, apparently.

        1. God bless em’
          /wipes tear away

        2. JOE REDNER hero of freedom!!

          1. I’m surprised we don’t have a statue of him here.

  2. Aw, come on! Not strip club duty again!

  3. San Antonio city code defines nudity as failure “to cover the human anus, genitals, pubic region, and the areola”

    So, slap on those pasties, guys, or face the consequences!

    1. FTA: the city amended its human display law to prohibit pasties from counting as enough breast covering

      1. So, mankini, then?

        1. I ain’t clicking that.

      2. Pasties are so 70’s. For years now, strippers use a liquid latex. You paint it over your nipple when wet and it dries in a minute to a sort of rubber “pasties” set.

        About five minutes later cops and pearl-clutching bureaucrats started throwing fits that the color of the latex resembled flesh. So they outlawed pink, brown, black and all forms of tan in most places.

  4. I’m having this vision of the usual opening of Hill Street Blues with the shift sergeant assigning duties, and him picking two officers for “butt crack duty”, and all the other officers looking crestfallen when they don’t get the assignment. Then him saying “hey, let’s be hard out there”.

    If people weren’t so absurdly deferential to the cops, this would be something they’d be ridiculed for. It’s fucking asinine.

    1. Cops don’t want little people viewing their women, you see. Cops get free strippers/prostitutes just like they do free coffee and doughnuts.

    2. I would have suspected ol’ “San Anton” to be hipper. I mean, the city is smack-dab in the middle of a region typified by a musical submergence that completely revolves around the female ass.

      1. Not to mention strip club restrictions with such a large military presence in the area?!

      2. Since 2012, when the city amended its human display law to prohibit pasties from counting as enough breast covering

        Fear of the female nipple as means of titillation runs deep. I notice the same strand of prudishness running through any culture hip enough to achieve mainstream awareness, It’s reflected in most tech companies’ policies and various event policies (SXSW festival, etc) as well. Although, part of that is dealing with legal liabilities since permitting nudity subjects you to a whole host of sex laws like what the article states.

      3. I would have suspected ol’ “San Anton” to be hipper.

        No, because it has a lot of socon Catholic latinos. You want hip, you drive an hour and a half north to Austin.

    3. Maybe the strippers could fling glitter stripper dust on the cops?

      1. It’s like fairy dust, but instead of allowing you to fly, it causes you to suddenly start making it rain with one dollar bills.

        1. “Yeah, magic dust, y’know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, a
          Little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little
          Bit more…”

  5. “…the smallest violations, such as dancers briefly lowering their thongs a little”


  6. I’m sure no cops ever use this as an excuse to extort sex from strippers. Ever.

    1. Happened to a friend of mine — not the crack excuse exactly, but a similarly stupid violation. One of the many reasons our profession is so libertarian-leaning.

  7. Georgia’s best strip clubs kick the shit out of the ones in Texas.

    1. You are such a sad fuck

  8. I never really got strip clubs. I like women. I love naked women. But the “look but don’t touch” policy of strip clubs is a bummer. And then at some point you realize that you’re sitting around in a dark room with a bunch of dudes with boners. Pass.

    1. Yeah, it is like showing a hungry man a whole bunch of excellent food and not letting them have as much as one tater tot.

      Pass, as well.

      1. I went to Deja Vu* on my 18th birthday

        (*actual motto = “1000’s of Beautiful Girls and 3 Ugly Ones – and they aint lying about those 3)

        provided you have ID proving it is in fact your 18th birthday, results in you being put on stage for an hour while every single stripper in the place gives you a lapdance

        Its really as much for the audience as it is the Birthday person.

        But…. beyond that once-in-a-lifetime experience? I wouldn’t walk through the door of those scumbag-filled places if you paid me by the minute. Its so depressing it will make you physically ill.

    2. My reaction, too. It’s like VR porn without the haptic interface.

      1. How would *you* know?

        (narrows gaze)

        1. I own seventy strip clubs.

    3. Same here.
      One time I was working as a cook at a bar, and the owner came back all excited, telling the guys that there was a surprise in one of the banquet halls. So I went out and there was a long row of chairs with guys sitting in them. Not knowing what was next I sat down. Then some skank in underwear, who was barely a six out of ten, starts parading around and sticking her tits into guys’ faces. I was disgusted. Like I want some strange chick’s tits dripping with strangers’ slobber stuck in my face. Of course I couldn’t get up and leave because I’d never hear the end of it. Ugh.

    4. I agree in principle. However, there have been times in the past when I was drunk and horny and simply longed to see a beautiful, naked woman in the flesh. And the quickest and easiest way to make that happen is to go to a strip club. Besides, it’s not a complete waste of time since that’s where I met my current girlfriend (yes, she used to be a stripper). And she gives me regular shows now for free so I have no reason to visit those places anymore. But I don’t look down on or judge those who do.

    5. I was in a band that when first starting up, played a lot of strip clubs. And while I wouldn’t go to one as a patron, it was a fun time because strippers are relaxed around band guys, so they can be a lot of fun just to hang out with.

  9. undercover officers saw two dancers pull down the waistbands of their thongs in a way that revealed “the crevice of their buttocks.”

    Say whut, now?

    1. …. words cannot describe the level of stupidity that goes with that

  10. The laws about stripping are truly bizarre. A young lady of my acquaintance used to dance in Broward County where the showing of pubic hair was prohibited; all the dancers had to shave and then wear big, fluffy, mirkins as a workaround.
    In NOLA, the dancing is topless only. One club in Da 1/4 (Big Daddy’s, the place with the mannequin legs swinging out the window) advertizes as topless and bottomless. Their workaround involves the young lady climbing onto a swing, drawing a curtain around 3 sides and then displaying her talent in a large mirror.
    I’ve been to places in Georgia where alcohol is not permitted to be sold at the strip club. Coincidentally, there is a package store right next door that will happily sell you those tiny airplane bottles through a window into the strip club where the ‘bartender’ sells you a mixer for an exorbitant sum. Huzzah for puritanical scolds!

    1. All for our protection, you see, because we’re all just poor, benighted victims of human-trafficking.

      1. “All for our protection, you see, because we’re all just poor, benighted victims of human-trafficking.”

        I saw an article the other day proclaiming that 13 year old girls were being ‘sex trafficked’ into strip clubs and passed off as grown women.

        They had no evidence for this, and personally I’m a bit skeptical. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never seen a 13 year old who could pass for 18, and I feel like a strip club owner wouldn’t be too keen on opening himself up for child sexual exploitation charges due to publicly displaying his sex-trafficking victims in a public establishment.

        Clearly I just hate the children.

        1. I think these sex trafficking accusations say a lot more about those who make them than those people realize. Sounds like somebody is having themselves a fantasy.

          1. Yup, it’s called your ultimate fantasy job. You think those cops pretend to hate their assignments just for show ?

            I suspect there are a lot of plumbers, electricians, and maintenance workers who are relieved no one is looking over their shoulder…I mean, you get the picture.

        2. I worked at YouthLink in Minneapolis and there were people doing outreach at places like Deja Vu and they were finding 14-year-olds stripping.

          1. I find this incredibly hard to believe. As I posted downthread, I’ve never seen anything like that — yes, there are 17-year olds with fake IDs that start dancing a few months early, but I’ve yet to encounter anyone significantly underage. It just doesn’t pass the smell test. Men go to strip clubs to see T&A; usually big, fake T&A, assets which the overwhelming majority of barely-pubescent girls conspicuously lack. Where are all these pedo clubs I’ve somehow missed in the past six+ years?


              The nonprofit now runs three complexes with more than 70 units. The demand is so high there are zero vacancies for the near future, and space is about to get even tighter.

              Breaking Free recently announced that its new house for teen trafficking victims in St. Paul, Jerry’s Place, won’t survive past March. The shelter relied on a state Safe Harbor grant for minors plucked out of prostitution, but the $1.5 million pot split among four Minnesota programs barely covered half of what it cost to run Jerry’s Place.

              Catherine Tuione, Breaking Free’s housing director, promises the 15- to 17-year-old girls currently living at Jerry’s Place won’t end up on the street. Those who can’t find relatives to stay with will find shelter in Breaking Free’s remaining units somehow.

        3. and personally I’m a bit skeptical

          …and you’re right to be. Allow me to give my you expert opinion on the “sex-trafficking crisis” that’s been inspiring so much hyperventilating lately, having worked in the sex industry for nearly a decade now:

          It’s bullshit — complete and utter bullshit. It’s the same old retarded white slavery panic that’s been with us for centuries, dressed up in modern day feminist parlance; the satanic ritual abuse scare rehashed with different characters. Not once — in all my time working in almost every major city in the US + Tokyo — have I ever encountered a sex worker who was forced into the business against her/his will. I can’t tell you how infuriating it is for me to see this ridiculous narrative being pimped to pass increasingly invasive, infantilizing anti-sex legislation.

          1. Odd that our experiences are so different.

    2. I’ve never been (and seeing as I can’t stand strip clubs, won’t be going) to one here, but supposedly strip clubs here in WA are not allowed to serve alcohol. At all. This causes a lot of people who are partial to strip clubs to go to BC or (I think) Oregon.

      I mean, I don’t get the appeal in the first place, but…no alcohol as well? Damn.

      1. Not only that but there are all sorts of insane restrictions in this ‘liberal’ paradise

        Lap dances are illegal, and strikers can only be nude if they are on an elevated stage X many feet away Bla Bla Bla

        Better to hire a ‘private dancer’ (dancer for money) and negotiate terms

        Unless you are a Duke lacrosse player….

        1. and strikers can only be nude if they are on an elevated stage

          There’s a stripper union?

          1. Not striker as in union.

            Striker as the girl playing the gap between the forwards and the midfielders.

          2. I normally don’t support unions, but in this case…

            Well I don’t want a scabby stripper at any price.

            1. Yeah. If stripper unions were anything like police unions, before long there would be nothing but fatties who would just stand on the stage picking their noses.

      2. In a good number of states, strip clubs with liquor licenses must be go-go (bikini), or at best, pasties/topless only. Nude clubs are almost always juice bars. Except nobody likes this arrangement, least of all the dancers, so alcohol-free strip clubs are almost always the lowest-end establishments.

    3. Im glad that i live in the middle of nowhere, sure the strip club is a trailer park mutant fest, but its the only place i’ve ever seen a cripple stripper. as far as i know you can buy booze and its full nude, and yeah theres not a big rule about not touching either… and thats in NY

      1. but its the only place i’ve ever seen a cripple stripper.

        Wait, what?

    4. the showing of pubic hair was prohibited; all the dancers had to shave and then wear big, fluffy, mirkins as a workaround.

      I’m having a hard time making sense of that one. How is that a workaround?

      1. It’s cronyism for the merkin industry.

  11. Ironically, ‘liberal’ Seattle has crazy restrictive strip club regs

    The same liberals who decry conservative prudes, suddenly get all prudish

    they justify it by seeing strippers as victims

  12. A few years ago someone around here tried to start a topless coffee shop. Someone burned it down. He was not insured. Haven’t hear anything since.

    1. There was a topless doughnut place here for a while.

      1. According to rumors this place was a front for prostitution, and some angry wife started the fire. But that’s as far as it got. Cops didn’t bother to investigate, and the guy was out something like two hundred grand thanks to his lack of insurance. Stupid.

    2. There’s always money in the banana stand topless coffee shop, Michael!

      1. Jesus, how could it have taken this long for me to come up with this cunning plan? Topless law firm. Obviously employing women (lawyers and staff) that male and lesbian clients would like to see topless.

        Specialty practices are all the rage these days. Down here, we have that biker chick practice I told you about a while back, and a firm that specializes in representing husbands in divorce. Why not topless?

  13. Have the plumber and carpenter jokes already been made or would that be too obvious?

      1. I saw what you did there.

  14. Where’s my H/T?

  15. We’ve got a metric assload (so to speak) of bikini baristas and as long as they wear pasties and thongs they are groovy

    Soccer moms call all the time but dispatch educates them on the law

    Usually the moms get pissed when they step outside the kiosk in their near bufftitude and they call because ‘for the children’ in the area

    Sorry, totally legal to walk around… They don’t have to stay inside

    A lot of jurisdictions have tried to restrict this stuff

    Methinks soccer moms are mostly just jealous of superior bods

    Dept policy says we can’t shop there on duty/in uniform

    I think that’s prudish and stupid, but so be it

    Granted I don’t buy coffee anyway. I make it at home in the instances I drink it

    1. I think I just go a whiff of that strong wind everyone’s been talking about.

  16. What a hellish job to have. Having to spend hours watching women to see if they’re showing too much skin.

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  18. Then there is the puritanical hellhole that is Tallahassee, FL. When I lived there in the 1990s, there was one, exactly one, video store that rented adult movies. They were kept in a locked room into which the attendant would only allow those who held the special, double-secret membership card. Our shining example of lawyerly goodness, state attorney Willie Meggs (he still has the position, held it since 1985) was on a constant crusade of harassment, police raids, and lawsuits to get that wicked pornography out of town. The fine folk from Georgia’s Cafe Risque (topless coffee shop/truckstop off I75) once opened a branch in Tally. It was only open for a few days when Willie Meggs browbeat the city council into passing an ordnance banning such displays. The ordnance, promulgated by Meggs’ office, was so poorly written that is pointed out to the council by city counsel that it would also bar 2 piece bathing suits and short tank-tops on women. In a just world, Willie Meggs spends the remainder of his miserable life strapped to a chair with fishhooks holding his eyes open to view a non-stop stream of German Schei?e and Japanese tentacle porn.

  19. Also, Rick’s Cabaret in NOLA’s 1/4 has a great buffet, one almost forgets the dancers when one encounters the sticky honey wings or the boudin. Although, the best and most enthusiastic dancers are to be found at Visions.

  20. I have to ask — exactly what are on-duty San Antonio policemen doing hanging out in strip clubs until they see some ass crack?

    Desn’t anybody else see this as a gross abuse of police authority and an abysmal waste to taxpayer dollars?

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