New North Korean Slogans Call for 'Socialist Fairyland,' 'Country of Mushrooms'
The regime marks its 70th anniversary with a new propaganda barrage.
I've been addicted to Juche kitsch since my teens, when I would sometimes read an English-language North Korean newspaper just to gape at its weird, worshipful descriptions of Kim Il Sung. (This should give you the flavor.) It's easy to laugh at Pyongyang's propaganda, because the gap is so great between what it attempts and what it achieves: The language is supposed to soar, and instead it sounds ridiculous. An ordinary personality cult is laughable enough, but this one sounds like it's run by a syndicate of drunk surrealists.
Now the dictatorship has released 310 new slogans. To judge from the translations appearing in the Western press, that syndicate of surrealists seems to be even drunker than usual:
"Let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country!"…
"Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!"…
"Should the enemy dare to invade our country, annihilate them to the last man so that none of them will survive to sign the instrument of surrender!"…
"Let us turn ours into a country of mushrooms by making mushroom cultivation scientific, intensive and industrialized!"
Maybe it's too easy to laugh at Pyongyang's propaganda. We're reading it in English, after all, and it's surely possible that it got worse in translation. Westerners are willing to believe all kinds of dubious stories about the Kims' country; maybe we've been overstating just how strange its totalitarian prose is too. Maybe these slogans sound better in Korean.
Or maybe, if you actually have to live under that regime, they sound even worse.
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I often wish that I could live in a country of mushrooms. They make everything better.
Well, one could say the Norks are in a country of mushrooms - fed shit and kept in the dark.
Well done.
It would be...magical?
"Let the strong wind of mushroom country blow across the annihilated enemy fairyland!!"
Some of those "divine birth on the peak of tarrest mountain on back of fierce tiger" stories WOULD make a hell of a lot more sense that way.
Oooh! Catatafish just outed himself!
http://animationsa2z.com/attac.....-life1.gif
I AM a dick. No arguing that point. 😉
Only Comrade Mario will save us!
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs7.....4pm70q.png
http://www.donkeymario.com/thu.....shroom.jpg
Hobbits agree.
I thought that was Bangkok's red light district's slogan?
Or Jezebel's...
Good thing I'm fasting today cuz I would have totally just heaved up breakfast...
MUHUHUHUWHA IT WORKED!
Jezebel has a red light district???
Yeah, I agree. I would have thought they needed a blue light district. They gotta discount it to compete with the non-Jezebel suppliers.
What they need is "STOP" sign district.
"a slogan"
A Jezebel red light district would be about the 7th Circle of Hell, I reckon.
So it's guarded by the Minotaur and a river of fire runs through it?
Guarded by a Marcotte and a river of dumbass runs through it.
I am the Minotaur. All clowns are the Minotaur.
The random blood spatter on that certainly doesn't help alleviate my terror of clowns, btw.
It will never be your birthday again.
*faints dead away*
It is just a way for the regime to cover up the massive shortage of feminine hygiene products.
"Land of the Free"?
"Home of the Brave"?
"...we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless..."
"...this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal..."
Why isn't this being thrown in his face over and over?
It made me nauseated when he said it, but it looks even more ridiculous now, if that is possible.
You know, why don't they just give their population all the hallucinogenics they can eat?
Pot is grown widely there and isn't considered much different from tobacco. They're probably high all the time already.
Meth is often given as a birthday gift there. I'm not making that up.
"Happy birthday, this should help take the edge off starvation!"
It's actually fairly appropriate, given their circumstances.
How can giving someone the munchies when there is no food around not be considered mean?
"Let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country!"
OK, who let SugarFree into the Nork's writing database?
I like this one.
I think I'll kill the guy who came up with it last.
I totes dig this one too. Well done Norks.
Not quite "Crush your enemy, see him driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women" but I agree, that is pretty darn good.
I'm hearing this in the voice of Mojo Jojo.
*applause*
I wonder how Our Glorious Leader's soaring nonsense translates into
Korean?
Even worse?
That's what I got running his quotes through Google translate to Korean then back to English.
Nothing about Katy Perry? I'm disappointed.
Do you feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, Bill?
Ha, you've been honeydicked!
You're a firework, Kim.
Here you go.
Semi-NSFW
SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!
Let the wives of officers become dependable assistants to their husbands!
Shit! Where was this one when I was still serving?!?!?!
"Aw come on, honey - if even the enemy is urging this, it is the least you can do to help!"
Once again, no love for the common enlisted man.
I was only enlisted for a couple of years! And I didn't get married until was a 1LT.
Well, I never sold out. I retired as a corporal with a clean conscience
Always loved mustang officers. Way more reasonable than the punks who came out of some ROTC program (or god forbid the Naval Academy).
Shit! I fucked the html up. I originally had the first sentence say:
<huffyWell, I never sold out. I retired as a corporal with a clean conscience</huffy
At Big Army, it is slowly sinking in that prior enlisted tend to make better company grade officers, at least. Once you get into the upper part of the field grades...who the hell knows?!
"organic farming on an extensive scale"
Whoa... looks like the Norks just got the Progs to jump in for the big win!
Quick poll: what would be funnier - seeing someone get a balloon filled with orange Kool Aid thrown at them or seeing someone get a ballon filled with orange Jello thrown at them? Think about how it would look on video and possibly slo-mo. I'm offering this incentive to my donors for an upcoming charitable event.
Pudding.
bull semen
Stick to the choices presented, gentlemen!
Judging by YT videos, Kool Aid would produce a better bang for the buck.
Kool Aid, if you are slo-mo filming. No guarantee the Jello one would work.
Yeah. I don't think Jello would work either.
How would you fill a balloon with jello?
I'm thinking mix it in the balloon itself or...turkey baster.
hth
North Korea: Come for the Fake Tours, Propaganda and Denial- Stay because we arrest you for use as a political tool!
Maybe there was something lost in the translation...
It is possible the slogan-maker meant "wonderland" instead of "fairyland". Not that it makes the slogan less pathetic but at least it sounds less ridiculous.
... when I would sometimes read an English-language North Korean newspaper just to gape at its weird, worshipful descriptions of Kim Il Sung.
Did they write anything about Kim sending a thrill up their leg?
I dunno, how is his pants crease looking?
/Brooks (not our Brooks)
Meth is often given as a birthday gift there. I'm not making that up.
So... the cake is a lie?
I read a Daily Mail article about a North Korean English translator who accused a European beauty salon of sodomizing him after he asked them to "breach his asshoe".
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Mushrooms ARE delicious.
dericious
It does. Plus you can have sex particles that last days because it delays ejaculation.
Well fuck me blue. I read albo's claim that pot is widely grown there and didn't pick up on BP's sly change of drugs.
That should teach me a good lesson!
My problem was that I actually read someone's comment before posting my own witty comments. All it did was confuse me.
From now on I promise fact free posts all the time!
Yes. Florida isn't made of matter or antimatter. It's made of sex particles.
You win this round auto correct