Robot Vacuum Attacks Owner: The Revolution Has Begun!
Who will be the first up against the carpet when the Roomba revolution comes?
Subscribers to the print edition of Reason magazine (you are a subscriber, aren't you?) will be receiving our very special robot issue in their mailboxes soon. It features sexbots, robots shooting lasers into my eyeballs, self-driving cars, apocalyptic A.I., Robin Hanson, and more.
Here at Reason we're generally bullish on bots, but a news story that broke this week has us rethinking our stance:
SEOUL, Feb. 5 (Korea Bizwire) – A powerful robot vacuum cleaner caused an unlikely accident involving a Korean housewife, and required the intervention of a couple of paramedics. On January 3, a woman in her fifties had her hair sucked up into a robot vacuum at her home in the city of Changwon, South Korea.
On the day of the accident, she turned on her robot vacuum as usual, and laid down flat on the floor to rest, leaving the robot to do its job. The robot vacuum came around her relaxing on the floor, and suddenly sucked her hair into its nozzle. The vacuum stopped running one to two minutes after the sudden hair intake.
The startled housewife called 119, Korea's emergency telephone number. Fortunately, paramedics quickly arrived at the scene, and successfully disjoined her hair from the nozzle. The housewife suffered only minor injuries.
Of course, the Simpsons saw this coming a long way off:
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I once found a snake under my Roomba. That is a) a true story, and b) not a euphemism.
The Roomba was just hungry.
And here you guys routinely let Anon bot hang around here on these boards with impunity, plotting Lord knows what sort of conspiracy.
"Come with me if you don't want clean rugs!"
"Vacuum the pod bay, HAL."
"Lint, Will Robinson! Lint!"
And so on.
To be fair, if the robots are up to no good, I can only imagine what the cats who were pulling my hair (back in my youth) when I slept over my girlfriend's at the time were up to.
Robots killing their owners is as old as the term robot. No seriously.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R.U.R.
Older than that since it's a retelling of Frankenstein, published in 1818.
Also a lot of people think they are clever by comparing robots to slaves when the term itself derives from slave and is a reference to serfdom.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLt5rBfNucc
They just need to get a Roomba cat to control it.
Once the cats and robots team up, humanity will not last a day.
"Who could have foreseen that man's greatest weapon would be buckets of ice water?"
The guy who made that movie Signs. Maybe it was just an allegory for the coming war with our cat robot overlords.
It will be a problem.
I, for one, welcome our new...
Are people in South Korea not allowed to own scissors?
Then again, anyone who would turn on the Roomba then decide lying on the floor was a good idea probably shouldn't have scissors.
The startled housewife called 119, Korea's emergency telephone number.
That whole country's just backwards.
I highly recommend Ron Goulart's collection of short stories "What's Become of Screwloose and Other Inquiries." Now out of print but available used. This is the guy who also wrote Vampirella.
I'm working on a sexbot that vacuums. Consider the attachments.