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ISIS Claims Airstrike Killed American, Fort Hood Victims Qualify for Purple Hearts, Harvard Bans Sex Between Professors, Students: P.M. Links

Scott Shackford | 2.6.2015 4:30 PM

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  • Kayla Mueller ||| The Mueller Family
    Source: The Mueller Family

    ISIS claims that an airstrike by Jordan in Syria has killed American aid worker Kayla Mueller, 26, whom they had kidnapped. The Jordanian government is skeptical, and American officials are investigating the claims.

  • Victims in the Fort Hood massacre of 2009 will receive Purple Hearts after all. Initially the attacks were described as "workplace violence," and the 13 people killed after Army psychiatrist Nidal Hasan opened fire on the post were denied the honor. Congress then passed legislation expanding the eligibility guidelines.
  • The White House has outlined a new National Security Strategy for the final two years of President Barack Obama's term. Ed Krayewski noted the world police posturing of it all here.
  • In yet another example of Americans having to deal with benefits being scaled back in the workplace, Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.
  • Shiite rebels have completed their takeover of Yemen and dissolved parliament.
  • Pope Francis says it's okay to spank children, as long as you do so with dignity and do not demean them. They'll have to wait until they're adults to find somebody to demean them while spanking them, the way God intended.

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NEXT: Marijuana Credit Union Still Waiting for the Fed's Approval

Scott Shackford is a policy research editor at Reason Foundation.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Pope Francis says it's okay to spank children, as long as you do so with dignity and do not demean them.

    In Catechism they always told me that I shouldn't spank it. CLASSY JOKE ALERT!

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Hello.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      But you told them that it was your solemn duty as an altar boy, right?

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        It's the priest who spanks the altar boy.

      2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        What happens under the cassock stays under the cassock. Mostly.

        1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

          +1 pitched tent

    3. Ted S.   10 years ago

      Related:

      Two nuns were sitting on a park bench when suddenly a flasher ran by. One of the nuns had a stroke. The other one couldn't reach that far.

      1. Sevo   10 years ago

        http://instantrimshot.com/

    4. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Proverbs 13:24

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        Like Moses, things are better when my staff is up.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

          It's a good thing we have so many young men in this country who were never spanked by their fathers...obviously, they turned into productive, law-abiding citizens and there is no cause for worry!

          1. John Titor   10 years ago

            Because all those who were spanked clearly turned into productive, law-abiding citizens.

            1. Free Society   10 years ago

              And of course we know that hitting children just helps their development right along.

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                "these scores were slightly lower among children whose *mothers* reported using spanking as a form of discipline."

                [emphasis added]

      2. Florida Man   10 years ago

        The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

    5. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      winner

  2. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    ISIS claims that an airstrike by Jordan in Syria has killed American aid worker Kayla Mueller, 26, whom they had kidnapped. The Jordanian government is skeptical, and American officials are investigating the claims.

    I'd rather die in a US airstrike than at the hands of those barbarians.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Shiite rebels have completed their takeover of Yemen and dissolved parliament.

      So what? It was a parliament of whores anyway.

    2. Irish   10 years ago

      I'd certainly rather die in an airstrike than be decapitated or set on fire.

      1. Mike Laursen   10 years ago

        Just pointing out that there's a good chance of getting set n fire and/or decapitated by an air strike.

    3. The Other Kevin   10 years ago

      My thoughts too. It is terrible that she died, but if they took out some of her captors at the same time, isn't that better than them using her for extortion, then beheading her or burning her alive?

      1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

        I haven't seen anyone suggesting this but maybe I've missed it. Especially since she seems to be the only casualty of this particular attack, couldn't they have already killed her, and just used the opportunity to put her carcass in the rubble? I think they would believe that makes them look better and that her death was Jordan's fault, not theirs.

    4. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      "Hey, you killed our human shield, you barbarians!"

    5. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      They said she is dead. We don't know that she is dead. I'm guessing she would be better off that way. I don't want to even think about the alternative for her given these scumbags track record.

    6. Spencer   10 years ago

      the blood is still on their hands. It's not that difficult to see that.

      1. TheZeitgeist   10 years ago

        Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

      2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        Oddly, if you point out that the deaths of civilians from US bombs rests at the hands of the aggressors (ISIS and AQ), then you are a Brown Baby Killer in the eyes of the peacenazis.

        1. Spencer   10 years ago

          well, it's regrettable and should be avoided, but if they keep innocent hostages as body armor to protect themselves this will unfortunately happen.

        2. waffles   10 years ago

          We kicked your ass in 1812 and we'll do it again!

          1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

            *hides*

    7. Aresen   10 years ago

      We do not know that ISIS would have killed her, but they have killed numerous women and children already, so I have no reason to think they would not have done so.

      Further, we do not know what has been done to her during captivity. Given the track record of ISIS, there is nothing I would rule out.

  3. Winston   10 years ago

    http://www.theguardian.com/com.....the-urinal

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      Oh my god I love the Guardian.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Somebody like to pee sitting down.

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        SITZPINKEL! SCHNELL!

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          That would get in the way of a surprising amount of German porn.

      2. Doghouse Riley Jr.   10 years ago

        Liking or preferring it is one thing, insisting that it's the only way to go is pretty petty-totalitarian.

    3. Irish   10 years ago

      "The thing is, I'd happily trade in my male privilege for a world without them. I'm 35 years old and have never knowingly used one. Now I find such matters phenomenally difficult to discuss, and struggle to utter even the gentlest euphemism concerning the expulsion of bodily waste. But all it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to say nothing ? and as urinals are evil in porcelain, I feel a duty to let it all out."

      "Whether trough or bowl, the urinal subjects a man to the most wretched of indignities, to which we have become so inured that any deviation from the norm is considered effete. The urinal is inconsistent with civilisation: there is something barbarous about expecting men to expose themselves and carry out such a tender operation before others, especially while maintaining conversations with ostentatiously unembarrassed neighbours. And don't give me that "it's just a natural bodily function" nonsense: you don't leave the door open when you're in the cubicle, do you? (Do you ? ?)"

      This guy must be fun at parties.

      1. cavalier973   10 years ago

        They staple a "Kick Me" sign to his trousers and he spends the night sidling along with his back to the walls.

      2. Rich   10 years ago

        I'm 35 years old and have never knowingly used one.

        "Knowingly", eh? Because he's always sat on them?

      3. Agammamon   10 years ago

        1. If you can't whip it out an pee on command then you're not a man.

        2. Who the hell talks to their 'neighbors' at a urinal?

        1. Bobarian (hyphenated-american)   10 years ago

          "Hey there, that's a nice penis, neighbo[u]r."

        2. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

          Who the hell talks to their 'neighbors' at a urinal?

          It's depressingly common at my office. For most of them, it's the only social interaction they get. Anything beyond a quick "hey", or at worst a "stop by my office" is entirely unnecessary.

          1. cavalier973   10 years ago

            "Having a nice pee?"

        3. Entropy Void   10 years ago

          Check your cisgender privilege, Sir!

      4. Juice   10 years ago

        He thinks sitting down on a public toilet is more hygienic than not touching anything while peeing in a public toilet?

        1. Agammamon   10 years ago

          Yeah, I could introduce him to some women who would *love* to be able to use a urinal.

      5. TheZeitgeist   10 years ago

        If the she in question is strong down in her bits, she can squeeze a stream. Oh yes, some girls can use a urinal.

        1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

          About 30 years ago in Chicago some woman started a company that made disposable paper funnels for women to carry in their purses, which they could use to pee standing up. They must have had some good seed money, because they were advertising them on the side of city buses. But apparently they never went anywhere.

          I thought it was a good idea, not sure why it didn't catch on. Perhaps if it had, we wouldn't always hear the crap about putting the seat down.

        2. Cyto   10 years ago

          I have seen it done. She didn't spill a drop.

          On the other hand, I have also seen poorly executed attempts to squat-pee in the woods end comically.

          So, YMMV, I suppose.

      6. GILMORE   10 years ago

        "you don't leave the door open when you're in the cubicle, do you? (Do you ? ?)""

        I worked for the brits for 9 years. One of the things Americans laughed about in the UK, and which brits whinged about in the US...

        ..was that 'toilet stalls' in the US are basically just like 'screens' where feet are visible and panel gaps are wide...

        ...while in the UK (and elsewhere i suppose) they're like hermetically sealed cabins. The brits initially reacted to US public toilets like they were being subjected to rural indian Squat Holes.

        In a bizarre twist however - bars/clubs in the UK frequently featured metal 'piss-troughs' rather than individual urinals. Yanks in the UK often wondered why they weren't more popular over here. I started seeing them in NYC some years later, but they still aren't quite as ubiquitous.

        I suspect Guardian-guy is trolling.

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          Stadiums used to have piss-troughs. I don't understand why they lost popularity - they're a lot more space-efficient and you can play Ghostbusters while you pee.

          1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

            Total protonic reversal!

          2. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

            Indianapolis motor Speedway, the last haven of the piss trough, piss gutter, and any other communal pissing arrangement. When you congregate a quarter million drunk dudes in the same space, urinals don't do the trick.

          3. Entropy Void   10 years ago

            Potty Parity.

            See "Stadiums and Feminists in Florida"

          4. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

            The continuous water consumption to wash them out is probably the issue.

        2. creech   10 years ago

          Octoberfest has long troughs- you stand there and, by your feet, below is running a stream of piss from about 80 guys upstream who rented a couple liters of beer too.

    4. JW   10 years ago

      Jesus, dude, just cut it off already.

    5. some guy   10 years ago

      He's put way too much thought into this. Does he also want to ban twist-off bottle tops and drinking straight liquor?

    6. Matrix   10 years ago

      I've heard of penis envy.

      Either this guy has penis envy, or he has penis guilt... I'm not sure which it is. But given his name is Peter is hilarious since he wrote this ridiculous article.

    7. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      HOW DO INSANE PEOPLE KEEP GETTING PUBLISHED? Is it just about trolling everyone all the time?

    8. GILMORE   10 years ago

      To a liberal, getting men to piss sitting down is a sign of *Evolution*

    9. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

      TL;DR

      "I have a tiny dick."

  4. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    In yet another example of Americans having to deal with benefits being scaled back in the workplace, Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

    Are hot graduate students okay?

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      At Harvard?

      1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        Outside of the STEM fields, aren't they hot?

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

          Not to my knowledge. There might be some outliers, though.

        2. TheZeitgeist   10 years ago

          Outside of the STEM fields, aren't they hot?

          I bet its Jurassic Park in the gender studies department.

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Really? But how will Harvard retain all of those professors?

      1. Sevo   10 years ago

        Hookers?

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          But they already have that in the student body. Why bring in outside talent?

          1. mauricegirodias   10 years ago

            Don't they get to go to Rhode Island where hooking's legal as part of their tenured benefits package?

      2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Especially now that the have to contribute a modest amount to their healthcare costs!!!

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Oh, dear, who pays for the contraceptives now?

      3. Doghouse Riley Jr.   10 years ago

        Make tenure like the Hotel California - you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

  5. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ISIS claims that an airstrike by Jordan in Syria has killed American aid worker Kayla Mueller, 26, whom they had kidnapped.

    "So you can't count this one on us, guys."

  6. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    ...Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

    What do you think? Chemical castration for the fellas and chastity belts for the gals?

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      If a teacher has sex with a student, he should be Abelarded.

      Look it up.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        Given scurvy. I agree.

      2. Homple   10 years ago

        What the Heloise?

  7. Caleb Turberville   10 years ago

    Between the two seminal sci-fi flicks of the late 90s (The Fifth Element and The Matrix), is Chris Tucker's performance the only thing that keeps Element from being more critically acclaimed?

    1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      ???

    2. kinnath   10 years ago

      I always liked the 5th Element. I still get hooked if I am channel surfing and run across it.

      1. Caleb Turberville   10 years ago

        I like it better than The Matrix...up until Chris Tucker shows up.

        1. kinnath   10 years ago

          Was there anyone in that movie besides Milla Jovovich?

          1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

            ^^THIS^^^

          2. Florida Man   10 years ago

            Milla is the reason I've seen every resident evil movie.

            1. kinnath   10 years ago

              yup

            2. kinnath   10 years ago

              And a terrible version of the three musketeers.

              She played Alice in a 16th century gown.

              1. mauricegirodias   10 years ago

                And they had the blimp airforce at the end.

                /spoiler.

              2. Florida Man   10 years ago

                Was that the one with Chris odonnel?

                1. kinnath   10 years ago

                  No, but it has Christoph Waltz playing a French cardinal with a German accent.

                  1. a better weapon   10 years ago

                    Ray Stevenson plays Portos too IIRC. I still have no idea how we ended up in that theater. Whoever decided to financially back that movie must really love steam punk.

                    It's pretty dreadful.

            3. Entropy Void   10 years ago

              Milla is the reason I've seen every resident evil movie.

              The only reason, fellow Floridian.

          3. The DerpRider   10 years ago

            My 11 year old surely perked up at her entrance in the movie. He looked at me and I gave the silent nod.

          4. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

            Needed less tape

          5. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            Was there anyone in that movie besides Milla Jovovich?

            There was that blue opera singer.

      2. expat   10 years ago

        Ditto - and I think Chris Tucker is hilarious in the movie!

        1. The DerpRider   10 years ago

          It's the one movie I will always leave on if I come across it.

          1. Florida Man   10 years ago

            What about shawshank redemption, derp? Damn I get sucked into that movie everytime it's on.

            1. kinnath   10 years ago

              It's a fine movie, but there's no Milla.

              1. Florida Man   10 years ago

                She can't be in everything. Or can she?
                *googles how to Photoshop movies*

                1. Doghouse Riley Jr.   10 years ago

                  Just ask George Lucas to do it.

                  Second thought, he'd leave Milla out and put ewoks in.

                  1. Florida Man   10 years ago

                    Ow. That gave me a coughing fit.
                    /damn cold

              2. TheZeitgeist   10 years ago

                It's a fine movie, but there's no Milla.

                There's cameos by Rita Hayworth and Raquel Welch.

                Good stuff!

          2. a better weapon   10 years ago

            That and Face Off. Also, Con Air (but I think that's been said before here).

            1. Warty   10 years ago

              Hm. *gets out Tulpa detector*

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

                He's real.

              2. a better weapon   10 years ago

                Put that thing away! Tulpa probably has nothing but bad things to say about the 5th Element.

                Time to start commenting more it seems.

            2. Florida Man   10 years ago

              My brother-in-laws love face off.
              "Peach. I could eat a peach for hours."
              So dumb.

            3. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

              I have trouble suspending belief enough to enjoy Con Air.

              I'm supposed to believe a Texas Jury convicted a soldier for beating a bum to death? I'm just not buying it.

              1. HeteroPatriarch   10 years ago

                I thought it was Alabama?

              2. Heedless   10 years ago

                It's Nicholas Cage. He probably started screaming nonsense about "Beeeeees!" during closing arguments.

            4. Briggie   10 years ago

              How about 12 Monkeys?

              1. Entropy Void   10 years ago

                Which character did Mila portray in 12 Monkeys?

                Otherwise, there is no reason to watch it ...

    3. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      It's an entertaining movie, but I'm not sure it hits on enough cylinders to reach great.

      1. Entropy Void   10 years ago

        Hush your mouth!

    4. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      I have no problem with Tucker's performance. Now, the voice of Demi Moore, on the other hand...

    5. mauricegirodias   10 years ago

      Ahem:

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106697/

      That shit was prophetic. I think Gillespie wrote about it, but don't hold that against sheer greatness.

      1. kinnath   10 years ago

        Another fine flick.

      2. Florida Man   10 years ago

        My wife didn't want to watch it. Then when Wesley snipes smashes the guys head into the glass wall in the museum for no reason she made me rewind it 3 times as she laughed.

      3. JW   10 years ago

        One night, TBS showed both Demolition Man and Road House consecutively.

        That was a good night.

        And, 5th Element is a fantastic, goofy sci-fi romp. I still giggle at it. Chris Tucker, who is unwatchable in just about everything else, fucking rocked as Ruby Rod.

        1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          And, 5th Element is a fantastic, goofy sci-fi romp.

          *BARFS*

          The Fifth Element is a disjointed ugly retarded film that actually becomes a comedy half way through. Liking it is evil.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            It's amazing how your taste is so bad. If something is terrible, you're almost guaranteed to love it, and if something is good or fun, you're almost guaranteed to hate it. How do you manage to be so consistently wrong?

            1. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

              Cyto was disappointed in the lack of lens flares.

              1. Warty   10 years ago

                Needs moar Ben Affleck.

              2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                Well of course.

            2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

              No, my taste is pretty much perfect, the problem here is that a large number of libertarians have a fetish for old stuff that is 'campy' and nostalgic which actually means 'shitty and poorly conceived'. The Fifth Element was so bad I thought it was a joke. The 'villain' certainly was. Then Chris Tucker's character and half the rest of the case annoyed the shit out of me. I don't have the nostalgia goggles you have welded into your eyeholes.

              1. Warty   10 years ago

                Speaking of shitty and poorly conceived, how's the job search?

                1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                  Not great, but I have some work. Sucky work but it pays.

              2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                The Fifth Element was so bad I thought it was a joke. The 'villain' certainly was.

                You didn't like the villain? He was captain "Broken Windows Fallacy"

                I can't think a better example of a movie showing the broken windows fallacy to be evil.

              3. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

                Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and Cytotoxic's shitty tastes in movies.

            3. JW   10 years ago

              I now know that my opinion has been validated as correct.

            4. John Titor   10 years ago

              No, you see Warty, Cytotoxic is the Arbiter of the Gold Standard of Taste. We're evil for having subjective tastes different than the Holy Autistic Robot.

              1. Warty   10 years ago

                Holy Autistic Objectivist Robot, thank you very much.

                1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

                  Too wordy.

                2. John Titor   10 years ago

                  That was supposed to be implied with the Holy, what with the whole Objectivist holier-than-thou cult thing.

          2. MJGreen   10 years ago

            It's a comedy after the first five minutes.

            SMOKE YOU!!!

            1. JW   10 years ago

              MULTIPASS

          3. Virginian   10 years ago

            The Fifth Element is a disjointed ugly retarded film that actually becomes a comedy half way through. Liking it is evil.

            Boy are you on the pipe?

          4. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

            You really think there was some point in that movie where it took itself seriously?

      4. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

        Just saw it the other night on tv, first time in years. I had forgotten what a libertarian message the movie has. Need to show it to our more politically-correct statist friends so they can see what their dream society would actually be like.

        1. JW   10 years ago

          You just want everyone eating Taco Bell all the time!

      5. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        Demolition Man may not be a good movie, but I enjoy watching it.

    6. MJGreen   10 years ago

      Chris Tucker (who I think is used well in the movie) is counterbalanced by the infectious insanity of Gary Oldman.

      All hail Zorg!

      1. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

        Oldman may do insane better than anybody....like the DEA dude in the Luc Besson flick.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    The White House has outlined a new National Security Strategy for the final two years of President Barack Obama's term.

    Heavy on surveillance of traitorous journalists?

  9. Winston   10 years ago

    Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

    Going back to their roots.

  10. Caleb Turberville   10 years ago

    In yet another example of Americans having to deal with benefits being scaled back in the workplace, Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

    Serious question: what about sex between professors and grad students?

    1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Grad students are legally the slaves of their advisers, so obviously this doesn't apply to them.

  11. Winston   10 years ago

    You Know Who Else dissolved Parliament?

    1. Caleb Turberville   10 years ago

      Walter White...in hydrofluoric acid...after Parliament accidentally stumbled onto his meth manufacturing enterprise?

    2. gaijin   10 years ago

      Bootsy Collins and George Clinton?

      1. Caleb Turberville   10 years ago

        "Parliament was dissolved today in an apparent coup by the single-party, Funkadelic dictatorship."

      2. a better weapon   10 years ago

        *claps furiously

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Salt?

      1. cavalier973   10 years ago

        ISWYDT

        #slugsareicky

    4. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      Recessed filters?

    5. Homple   10 years ago

      Cromwell?

  12. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    In yet another example of Americans having to deal with benefits being scaled back in the workplace, Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

    Well there goes 90% of the faculty's only means of getting some.

    1. Libertarian   10 years ago

      In yet another example of Americans having to deal with benefits being scaled back in the workplace, Harvard has banned professors from having sex with undergraduates.

      Grades and tweed jackets hardest hit.

      1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

        This will no doubt hurt Harvard's US News college ranks. How will they be able to compete with professor fuck palaces like Stanford?

  13. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Initially the attacks were described as "workplace violence," and the 13 people killed after Army psychiatrist Nidal Hasan opened fire on the post were denied the honor.

    Kind of like a reverse swiftboat? Now, wait, that's not right. It will come to me.

  14. alinenache   10 years ago

    rational aggression http://waltherpragerandphiloso.....ssion.html

  15. Cloudbuster   10 years ago

    If the airstrike did kill her, so what? The blood is still on ISIS' hands for kidnapping her.

    You have to be some kind of idiot terrorist-apologizing pansy to blame the Jordanians for that.

    1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

      Yeah, but the kidnapping was blowback. So it's the US's fault.

      -Paul Sr.

      1. lap83   10 years ago

        I fail to see the difference between aid workers and Adam Lanza

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

          Adam Lanza ate at Chipotle

          1. Ted S.   10 years ago

            I'm sure Sheldon Richman did too at some point.

            1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

              There is no difference between Sheldon Richman and ISIS

  16. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

    It Behooves China to Subsidize Donkey Industry, Politician Says

    Linked mainly for title

    State Media Unscathed in China's Online 'Positive Energy' Drive

    Linked mainly for photo

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Do you like China or something?

      1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        "Like" is not the correct word. But I do read a few blogs about it.

      2. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        "Wild China is a fun show."

        1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

          Er... "Wild China" is a fun show.

    2. John   10 years ago

      I am feeling a lot of positive energy from that photo

    3. lap83   10 years ago

      China should put the hooves in behooves?

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Is that a Sarah Jessica Parker joke?

        1. lap83   10 years ago

          it is now

        2. a better weapon   10 years ago

          Nay

  17. John   10 years ago

    Uber now delivering Kitties.

    http://hellogiggles.com/uber-kittens

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      You know that if you pay $40 to play with a kitten, the little fucker is definitely going to be asleep. Don't these people know anything about cats?

      1. John   10 years ago

        No they don't. The little fucker is a cat. He will sleep out if spite if nothing else.

      2. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

        I hates the kittez, shoot me now.

    2. lap83   10 years ago

      The idea is cute, but I agree that the cats will probably not cooperate.

    3. Ted S.   10 years ago

      I've got two cats of my own. I don't need Uber to deliver more for me.

      1. Agammamon   10 years ago

        You don't pay Uber $40 to bring cats to you. You pay them $40 to *take them away*.

    4. Nephilium   10 years ago

      I got a similar e-mail about Uber delivering puppies to an office.

  18. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

    Program at Harvard Model UN conference calls Taiwan a country, Chinese delegates go apeshit

    They have bright futures ahead of them as Chinese diplomats.

    Side note: I was in Model UN in high school. It sucked.

    1. John   10 years ago

      I did too. Its where I learned to hate earnest liberals.

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      I actually had fun in MUN. We went to a regional event that USF hosted (I was in my senior year of high school), and we got Nigeria. Me and another high school guy representing Singapore basically took over the whole thing, building a new voting block called CODINE (Coalition of Developing, Independent Nations of the Earth). It was awesome, and the college students who took the shit seriously (and represented the more major powers) were totally pissed.

      1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        I had fun at the first conference I went to, albeit not really because of UN stuff, but because of weird shit my friends and I did outside conference hours. Though our moderator was competent and relatively laid back.

        The second conference I went to sucked because the moderators sucked, and the hot one yelled at me for constantly leaving -- which I wouldn't have been doing if she hadn't sucked. Even though it was boring, I gave it a good-faith effort at the first conference, because they ran things well.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          All I did was leave. I was technically an ECOSOC member, but I just caucused in the hallways. The guy from the UK was my bitch--I made him go tell the U.S. rep how we were going to bitch slap them in the General Assembly if they didn't obey. We had China in hand, too (who tried and failed to dominate CODINE), so the Security Council was immobilized.

          It's really no wonder the UN doesn't work.

      2. Ted S.   10 years ago

        You should have started some 419 scams.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          This was before the Internet, back in the mid-80s.

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            *Sits Indian style at Pro L's feet*

            Tell us about the olden days!

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              In the Before Time, we just had PCs. Oh, sure, there was a proto-Internet over mainframes, but the porn was just limited to ASCII stuff.

              I think the first time I had e-mail and some sort of on-line service was Prodigy, which later became a techno band.

    3. Ted S.   10 years ago

      They do that to me, I start referring to their country as "Chinese Beijing".

      1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        "Sure sucks, all that unrest going on in East Turkestan."

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Mongolia.

        2. HeteroPatriarch   10 years ago

          Future Taiwan.

    4. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      I know getting the Chinese to be friendlier with us and even less friendly with the Soviets was a coup, but we made a huge mistake agreeing to not recognize Taiwan anymore.

      1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        Yeah. We should at least put together an FTA with Taiwan (and fuck this "maybe we'll try and get Taiwan into the TPP sometime" shit).

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          What's the point in being the world's superpower if we can't do what the fuck we want to? Taiwan, you're in!

      2. DRM   10 years ago

        Well, the thing is, the two had nothing to do with each other.

        The US-PRC rapprochement in 1971/1972 did not involve any change in recognition; derecognizing Taiwan; Nixon collected that coup while still recognizing the ROC as the government of China.

        It was Jimmy Carter in 1978 who decided that we would switch formal recognition, for no actual benefit whatsoever.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Ah, good, it was our usual brilliant foreign policy at work then. It is so horrific now that you tend to forget that it has rarely been great.

    5. Somalian Road Corporation   10 years ago

      Haha, this reminds me of when I made some offhand comment referring to Taiwan as "the legitimate Republic of China" after somebody asked why I used the phrase "Red Chinese", and I inadvertently provoked an Asian turf war on Facebook.

    6. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

      Good reason to shit can Hahvads model UN...I know won't happen.

  19. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

    "The release of the new strategic plan addresses the country's actions to defeat direct threats by groups like ISIS. But it also underscore[s] the importance of the link between poverty, inequality and terrorism - and emphasize "building the capacity of others to prevent the causes and consequences of conflict."

    The way Obama's new strategic plan describes their approach to terrorism, it sounds like Obama wants to give ISIS Medicaid, EBT cards, and midnight basketball.

    Isn't that the same shit they say about how to fight street gangs here in the U.S.?

    1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

      I might have forgotten to close that italics tag.

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        Maybe they should give ISIS all the italics tags.

        1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

          Yeah, we gotta get to the root causes of ISIS, and to do that, we have to look at "the link between poverty, inequality and terrorism".

          I mean, that should ring a three alarm bell for libertarians.

          What--exactly--does the Obama Administration mean by that, and how do they intend to incorporate that observation into our national security policy?

          I knew my white privilege was being blamed for all sorts of things--is Obama linking my white privilege to the ultimate cause of ISIS, now, too?!

          What does he mean by "inequality"? My income inequality?! Is the fact that I make so much one of ISIS' big beefs?

          And what--exactly--does Obama intend to do the link between "poverty, inequality, and ISIS?

          I know Obama isn't talking about free trade. I just don't think Obama is capable of talking about any problem without making it a class war somehow.

          This president is freakin' scary.

  20. Rich   10 years ago

    "With this national security strategy, we stake out a much larger role for America in shaping the world," [said Susan Rice.]

    "Dare I say it -- SHAPE THE WORLD!"

  21. John   10 years ago

    This is beyond parody but real.

    http://www.theguardian.com/wor.....ign=buffer

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      Featured comment
      I am a MUSLIM, and a WOMAN, a wife and a mother of a wonderful baby girl. I was raised by an amazingly strong mother who taught me to learn, pursue high degrees, think freely and let nothing stand in the face of my dreams. I have an amazing job and a husband. What is written here to describe a woman lifestyle can only be described as "sad". These ladies or children are being manipulated to believe they are serving God so that those monsters around them can control them as their sex slaves. Nothing in the teaching of Prophet Mohammad said anything about limiting the life and freedom of any human let alone women. On the contrary, under his teaching women, once forbidden from their basic rights were granted more freedom. I feel so sad for them...

      She's so close to realizing that she's a bad Muslim, and that it's a good thing. Oh well.

      1. Irish   10 years ago

        The only way to be a good Muslim is to ignore all the actual teachings of Islam and just call yourself a Muslim while living as an atheist.

        That's also the only good way to be a good Christian or a good Jew.

        On the other hand, there are no bad Rastafarians. What's a Rastafarian extremist going to do, light up two joints instead of one while cranking up the Bob Marley and dreaming of an Ethiopian afterlife?

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          No, you can be a perfectly decent Christian if you just ignore all the immoral parts of the Bible, or if you ignore the Pope when he tells you to do something insane, or whatever. As long as you use your own moral judgment, you'll be ok.

          1. John   10 years ago

            You are supposed to ignore the Old Testament

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              I always did, but I don't think that's officially so. I mean, how many sermons hit on some Old Testament topic? Plenty.

            2. Warty   10 years ago

              But there's not all that much action in the New. Other than beating up bankers in church, casting evil spirits into pigs, and telling your followers to cannibalize you, you can't get into all that much trouble if you do what Jesus would do.

              1. John   10 years ago

                The action may be in the old, but ghe actual content is in the new.

              2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                So the clinging to the Old Testament is for entertainment purposes, with all of the smiting, begetting, and. . .you know, there's a whole lot of sex and violence in the Old Testament.

              3. Florida Man   10 years ago

                I call being crucified getting into trouble.

                1. Warty   10 years ago

                  IT could be worse. He could have been stabbed.

                  1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                    You know, are we supposed to all get crucified then? Maybe people have been doing Christianity wrong.

              4. John Titor   10 years ago

                Plus, Jacob's not in the New Testament, so no sick Cage Matches with angels.

                1. John Titor   10 years ago

                  *No sick Ladder Matches, damn I'm stupid, I could have worked Jacob's Ladder into that so easily.

          2. Irish   10 years ago

            "No, you can be a perfectly decent Christian if you just ignore all the immoral parts of the Bible, or if you ignore the Pope when he tells you to do something insane, or whatever."

            Which means ignoring the dictates of your own faith.

            1. John   10 years ago

              Only if you are a Catholic

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                Yes, one of the unintended implications of the Protestant Reformation is that it drove the relationship with God in Christianity straight to the individual. While protestant churches can say things have to be a certain way, it's really philosophically difficult to tell an individual he's wrong about his interpretation.

            2. Warty   10 years ago

              Which was the basis for a lot of the bias against you potato-eaters 150 years ago. The Pope of Rome tells you how to think, so how can we let you into a democracy?

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                You forget, Episiarch calls me that, but I'm actually Scot-German. Both of those (for me) are protestant, way back.

                Is he Catholic? I mean, by upbringing. How do I not know the answer to that?

                1. Warty   10 years ago

                  I WAS TALKING TO IRISH, YOU HAGGIS-EATING DRESS WEARER

                  1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                    That's better.

                2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                  Aren't the Scots Presbyterians?

                  Fuck John Calvin in his excessively theocratically statist ear.

              2. Irish   10 years ago

                "The Pope of Rome tells you how to think, so how can we let you into a democracy?"

                Ha. Shows how much you know. My ancestors were Ulster protestants, not beholden to the papist scum infesting the rest of beautiful Erin.

                1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                  Let's burn the heretics who dare call us Catholics.

            3. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

              Morality is doing what's right, no matter what you're told.

              Religion is doing what you're told, no matter what's right.

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                Pithy, but it's not entirely true. It's not like every religious person toes the line. Heck, they mostly don't, from what I can tell.

        2. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

          I loled

    2. lap83   10 years ago

      "Girls can marry at the age of nine, should ideally have husbands by 16 or 17 and should not be corrupted by going to work"

      That's probably for the best. At work they could be othered, mansplained, and not paid enough money as a gender studies educated administrative assistant.

      1. John   10 years ago

        Someone should start trolling Jezebel usimg this woman as a pseudonym. The results wpuld be hysterical.

        1. Somalian Road Corporation   10 years ago

          It would probably just result in a swift banning.

    3. Rich   10 years ago

      From 10 to 12, there will be more religious studies, especially fiqh, focusing more on fiqh related to women and the rulings on marriage and divorce.

      Fiqh U., as it were.

      1. Juice   10 years ago

        I don't know whether to clap or boo.

        1. Unreconstructed   10 years ago

          I believe the proper response is a narrowed gaze.

  22. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

    Has this been posted yet?

    One Man's Quest to Rid Wikipedia of Exactly One Grammatical Mistake

    "I feel sometimes that this motivation feels a little bit fuzzy, or a little bit negative in some ways? Like, one of my favorite Wikipedians of all time is this user called Giraffedata," he says. "He has, like, 15,000 edits, and he's done almost nothing except fix the incorrect use of 'comprised of' in articles."

    Side note: does anyone know who came up with this idea of filling your screen with an image and putting the entire fucking article below the fold? Because I want to go back in time and slap them with my dick.

    1. lap83   10 years ago

      I hate that too. I blame Mac users who love using their mouse way more than is necessary.

      1. John   10 years ago

        Aren't Mac users to blame for most things?

        1. Ted S.   10 years ago

          Is Nikki a Mac user?

          1. John   10 years ago

            Leave Nikki alone!!

      2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        I don't love using my trackpad, but it's just so damn easy with the 2 finger scroll. And it looks so smooth with the retina display.

        I'm eating steak while you PC users are at McDonalds. I get why you're insecure.

        1. GILMORE   10 years ago

          "I'm eating steak while you PC users are at McDonalds."

          My macbook from 2007 was one of the shittiest laptops ever.

          It ultimately suffered from a suicidal 'melt its own motherboard' condition because of some fucking problem it has with Flash overheating the processor.

          Yes - *youtube* (and well, a *little* porn) killed a computer.

          And i submit = if a modern computing device can't watch youtube videos and porn without committing suicide? It doesn't deserve to live.

          I heard that this same overheating problem also killed most of the first generation macbook Airs within 3-4 years.

          Still = apple users will claim that they are 'higher quality'.

          1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            But they're so much more expensive! The obviously makes them higher quality!

          2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            a *little* porn

            Somebody has a gift for understatement.

            1. GILMORE   10 years ago

              By which i clearly meant "Lots of midget porn"

              No, really = it was mostly a travel/business computer, so it really didn't get sustained porn-use outside of hotels.

              By 2010 it was basically starting to destroy itself. When i looked into the problem it apparently was a "design feature" of Apple laptops of that generation. They all suffered from the same problem

              "With the current genereation MacBook, it seems Apple still hasn't solved the overheating problem. Instead of having that removable battery on the bottom, they completely covered up the bottom of the MacBook with a rubber backing. Apple explains it's nonslip so that it "always stays right where you put it ? whether it's on a desk, table, or airplane tray." Yet, the experts will also tell you not to leave it directly on a desk, table, or airplane tray."

              They started marketing and selling *@#*(&@ "cooling pads" to sit your computer on.

              Well, what if you want to *move* your laptop? crazy talk.

              As of 2010-2011, the 'expert' advice on "how to ensure your Macbook doesn't melt?" was = 'stop using Flash' (HTML5 is so much more Apple-friendly)

              Top. Men. Superior. Design.

              1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                I had a MacBook leave a delightful red rectangle on my thighs from sitting with it on my lap for 10 minutes. I was amazed none of the components had burnt out already at those operating temps.

                1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

                  I had a MBP for about a month before I quit my last job. It was better than the lenovo (i should leave the autocorrect "lemon", because it was true) I had before, but not by that much. It ran hot, the track pad sucked ass, the VPN dropped randomly, and I couldn't connect to our VMs besides by SSH. I did like having the native bash terminal, even if it sucked when compared to Linux.

                  Overall, the MBP was slightly better than Lenovo, much better than HP and Dell, and slightly worse than Asus and Toshiba.

    2. Nick M   10 years ago

      Great reply to this: http://www.theguardian.com/com.....e-is-wrong

      1. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

        Yeah. I was going to say that the author of the Medium piece should have scarequoted "mistake", but I didn't want to start a fight.

    3. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      Those with B.A.s in magazine layout design need something to do in a post-paper age.

    4. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

      That makes me want to work that mistake into every edit I make, just to troll that guy...

  23. JW   10 years ago

    Shiite rebels

    It's so hard to not read that incorrectly.

    1. Doghouse Riley Jr.   10 years ago

      It happens.

      1. Florida Man   10 years ago

        What, shiite?

  24. Agammamon   10 years ago

    ISIS claims that an airstrike by Jordan in Syria has killed American aid worker Kayla Mueller, 26, whom they had kidnapped.

    Kinda doesn't matter though, does it? ISIS kidnapped a non-combatant - doesn't matter who pulled the trigger, ISIS is responsible for the death.

    Not that there's much point in ISIS saying Jordan killed her - its not like ISIS has a history of treating its captives well, they were going to kill her anyway.

  25. Warty   10 years ago

    Do we still do color coded terror alerts? Raise it to red!

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      Dammit, I fucked up the link.

      Man loses hat in fourth owl attack at Oregon park

      1. Doghouse Riley Jr.   10 years ago

        If he would just quit wearing his Mouseketeer ears it'd leave him alone.

        1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

          "Hey God! He had a hat!"

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Sound to general quarters! Everyone shift suddenly to the left!

  26. Gene   10 years ago

    I fucking love science.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      It's well-known that alcohol protects health. It's less well-known that the effects don't start to go away until you get into major alcoholic territory.

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Actually, if you can replace your blood with alcohol completely, you'll live forever.

        1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

          Worth a shot

        2. Libertarian   10 years ago

          I've been trying to do that with 2 martinis a day. But somehow the alcohol disappears and I have to start all over again.

          1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            This sounds like my ongoing mission to drive the domesticated cow to extinction. Eating them is obviously the only way, so as to prevent DNA from remaining that would allow the species to be revived in the future, but sadly they seem to be reproducing faster than I can eat them.

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              You're not trying hard enough. Along with your steak, have a steak smoothie.

              1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

                A steak smoothie would be ridiculous. Everyone knows you use veal in smooties.

                1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                  A fair criticism. I accept chastisement.

  27. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

    Netanyahu decides to throw Congressional Republicans under the bus:

    Israeli official suggests Boehner misled Netanyahu on Congress speech

    A senior Israeli official suggested on Friday that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had been misled into thinking an invitation to address the U.S. Congress on Iran next month was fully supported by the Democrats.

    1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      This whole thing is ridiculous. And, to be sure, the president's insane open dislike of the leader of an allied nation is the crux of the problem. WTF?

      1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

        To be fair, the emnity is mutual, and both seem to go out of their way to humiliate the other to a bizarre extent.

        Netanyahu knew exactly what he was doing with the speech and now is just playing dumb because of unexpected blowback.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          My recollection is that this mostly started when we had some "leaks" trashing Netanyahu. Seems likely that he didn't play that game from the outset, given that he's generally been friendly with the U.S.

          Not that I'm a big fan of his, but Jesus is this administration petulant.

          1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            It seems like lately Israel's turned into that psycho girlfriend he keeps trying to get her boyfriend into fights by provoking other men.

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              Yeah, that's probably true, too. It's really becoming amateur-hour all over the planet.

    2. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      CBS-5,10pm: That's My Boehner! (situation comedy)
      An official suggests Boehner misled Netanyahu on his Congress speech. (TV-14,L,V)

      1. Officer Jim Lahey   10 years ago

        Hearing the theme to "Perfect Strangers" in my head right now...

  28. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

    I meant to post this last week, but...

    The best analysis, IMO, of CVE-2015-0235 (aka, the GHOST vulnerability).

  29. Idle Hands   10 years ago

    In case noone here follows the NBA, this ishappening.

    "I think we have to show better composure, but at the same time some of [the technical fouls] were ridiculous," said Paul, who is president of the NBA Players Association. "The tech that I get right there was ridiculous. I don't care what nobody says, I don't care what she says; that's terrible. There's no way that can be a tech. We try to get the ball out fast every time down the court, and when we did that, she said, 'Uh-uh.' I said, 'Why, uh-uh?' And she gave me a tech.

    "That's ridiculous. If that's the case, this might not be for her."

    The 34-year-old Holtkamp is in her first full season as an NBA referee.

    The referees' union says it reviewed the calls made by Holtkamp and "deems them fully justified." General counsel Lee Seham says in a statement the union "deplores the personal and unprofessional comments made by Chris Paul. She belongs."

    I don't know what's funnier the NBA #shebelongs or the people hijacking it with #shebelongsinakitchen.

    1. Irish   10 years ago

      I heard about that this morning on Mike and Mike and thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen then.

      Apparently you're not allowed to criticize shitty refs if they have vaginas.

      1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

        The fact that ESPN is publishing this story from the angle that Chris Paul a sexist pills makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

        1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

          *pillspig

        2. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

          You have not noticed that ESPN is staffed to the brim with social justice concern trolls?

      2. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

        Is she actually a shitty ref, or is Chris Paul just a crybaby? The Clippers don't lead the league in fouls because of that one ref.

        1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

          Chris Paul is a whiny bitch, however this pearl clutching is embarrassing.

        2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          It's probably both.

        3. Irish   10 years ago

          It doesn't actually matter. Paul thought she was a shitty ref, he made his view known. It cannot rationally be considered sexist in any way.

        4. Idle Hands   10 years ago

          here is the whole sequence.

          1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

            Can somebody who's a little better versed at NBA rules tell me what the fuck that was? I saw 2 technical fouls that appeared to come out of nowhere. I know you can be teed up for abusing an official, but I didn't even see that.

            I can understand why they're pissed.

      3. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

        Shitty refs are a feature in the NBA.Don't think it matters if she squats to piss.

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      I don't get it. The same thing might easily have been said about a male referee. It's not directly sexist and may well not have been intended to be.

  30. GILMORE   10 years ago

    "ISIS claims that an airstrike by Jordan in Syria has killed American aid worker Kayla Mueller, 26, whom they had kidnapped"

    This sort of thing will be cynically exploited by Islamophobes

    /Prog

  31. Jayburd   10 years ago

    Oregonian no longer endorses Kitzhaber- http://www.oregonlive.com/opin.....n_edi.html

  32. Migrant Log Picker   10 years ago

    That is interesting, a proggie rag like the Oregonian calling this douche bag out.

    Perhaps the worm is turning...in the long run it's irrelevant, but seeing this fuckstain squirm will will get a few laughs from me.

  33. KeishaWWilson   10 years ago

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