ISIS Video Shows Pilot Being Burned Alive, Mockingbird Sees Sequel, Selfies Blamed for Plane Crash: P.M. Links

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  • Pilot Moaz al-Kasasbeh

    A video from the Islamic State appears to show a Jordanian pilot in a cage being burned alive. Authorities are trying to validate the video itself, but the head of Jordan's military told his family the pilot had been killed earlier in the month.

  • Harper Lee is going to be publishing a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird, called Go Set a Watchman. The book was actually completed in the 1950s but set aside. It will be published this July.
  • Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) says the current attention to what politicians have said about vaccinations is "largely silliness stirred up by the media." He doesn't believe politicians like Gov. Chris Christie are actually opposed to vaccinations and pointed out, furthermore, vaccination guidelines are a state matter. Millennials, incidentally, seem less likely to think vaccinations should be mandatory than older generations.
  • The National Transportation Safety Board believes a deadly small plane crash in Colorado may be a result of the pilot and passengers taking selfies.
  • Russia has apparently released an activist it arrested and accused of treason for phoning the Ukrainian embassy in Moscow and warning them about troops entering Eastern Ukraine. She still faces a trial and up to 20 years in prison.
  • Credit rating firm Standard & Poor has agreed to a $1.5 billion settlement for the way it rated mortgage securities, helping inflate the housing bubble last decade.

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  1. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) says the current attention to what politicians have said about vaccinations is “largely silliness stirred up by the media.”

    New frontrunner!

    1. Hello.

    2. “I can’t possibly give sane answers, so the fact I sound crazy is clearly the media’s fault for asking the questions!”

      1. Is what Christie said not a sane answer?

        I looked at it today and wondered how the hell it could be spun to make him look bad. The only offensive thing about his comments is how bland they are. It was a typical political non-answer.

      2. it’s a question undeserving of an answer, reminiscent of the debate wherein Romney was asked about contraception, a topic that no one was saying a thing about.

        1. No, it’s a question with a simple answer: the government has no business telling people what contraception they can or can’t use. The problem is Romney wants to pander to a bunch of OMG, CONTRACEPTIONS IS TEH ABORTIONS loonies. The fact simple question make it harder for you to keep your crazy base happy is not a problem with the press.

          1. No, it’s a question with a simple answer: the government has no business telling people what contraception they can or can’t use.

            And,the government has no business forcing other people to pay for your contraception. Which is the real issue, but morons like to pretend not forcing other people to pay for your shit is somehow ‘denying access’.

  2. Harper Lee is going to be publishing a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird, called Go Set a Watchman. The book was actually completed in the 1950s but set aside. It will be published this July.

    Still faster than GRRM.

      1. HAHAHAHA suck it!

        1. Boo Radley always pays his debts.

    1. For his own sake he better finish before he dies. Otherwise his fans are going to storm the mortuary, steal his body, freeze it on dry ice and resurrect him in some future post-apocalyptic hellscape.

    2. Wow, Harper Lee is alive?

      1. Barely.

      2. She’s more machine now than woman.

    3. To Kill a Mockingbird II: Mockingbird’s Revenge

      1. The Search for Atticus’ Gold
        The Phantom Lynching
        Killing the Mockingbird Even Deader
        To Milk a Franchise

        1. Don’t forget the prequel, To Be Annoyed by a Mockingbird

          1. To Kill a Mockingjay with a bow and arrow

            1. Mockingbird and Mocking-bird-ier.

              1. Killing Cock Robin for Finking on the Mockingbird.

                1. “I’m tired of the m_____f_____ mockingbirds on this m_____f______ plane!”

        2. To Kill A Mockingbird II: Mock Harder

      2. To Mock a Killingbird

      3. Mockingbird 2: The Enkilling-ing

        1. Mock n Mole High School!

          1. To Kill a Mockingbird 2: The Electric Bugaloo.

    4. So, when is Harper Lee going to get criticized for suggesting that one should not necessarily always believe accusations of rape?

      1. We’ll have to see if that’s part of the new book. If it is… I don’t know how some feminist sites aren’t going to take the bait.

      2. Goaaaal!

    5. I keep getting that one mixed up with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, same way I mix up On The Beach with On The Waterfront

  3. Credit rating firm Standard & Poor has agreed to a $1.5 billion settlement for the way it rated mortgage securities, helping inflate the housing bubble last decade.

    I just knew it couldn’t be public policies to blame!

    1. That’s how we like our justice, nice and swift.

    2. Where’s the settlement extracted from our politicians for the way they talk about the “solvency” of Social Security, and Medicare/Medicaid, helping inflate a welfare bubble?

      1. Their settlement is that they have to retire to Martha’s Vineyard or a ranch in Texas or some such.

    3. What, you expect the USG to fine itself?

    4. Is this the same S&P that downgraded the U.S. credit rating?

      1. Why, coincidentally, it is! Isn’t that a conveniently unrelated matter?

        1. Why yes, yes it is. Huh.

          Not sure how S&P is that culpable, as a lot of the misinformation came from the banks and lenders that the feds bailed out for some reason I can’t fathom.

          1. Yeah, I mean who could expect a company that’s getting paid to make independent ratings to verify anything it’s told?

            1. You’re right, they erred in believing that consumers, assessors, lenders, etc. weren’t all bullshitting their way through mortgages. I agree they should’ve been more skeptical.

              That said, they were rating mortgage-backed securities, not individual mortgages, so there wasn’t any feasible way to dig into each mortgage. Many, on paper, looked fine.

              1. there wasn’t any feasible way to dig into each mortgage

                Which frankly should have been a red flag in and of itself.

                They ultimately could have just decided “the structuring of these investments is such that it’s impossible to assess them, and as such we refuse to issue a rating on them”.

                1. Yes, that’s my view now. The honest truth is that everyone assumed lenders were generally in compliance with the law and with good business practices and refused to realize how bad the bubble was. This really goes for just about everyone involved, including the various regulators. Remember, many of these lenders were getting A+ scores from regulators, Fannie and Freddie, etc.

                  The government is largely to blame for pushing demand through the roof, limiting the ability of lenders to use risk-based pricing, establishing bad practices as a rule of thumb through the GSEs, and, of course, buying up bad paper left and right.

                  1. “The government is largely to blame for pushing demand through the roof, limiting the ability of lenders to use risk-based pricing, establishing bad practices as a rule of thumb …etc”

                    This

                    the people who froth about “why no wall st CEOs in jail!?!” dont deserve to have an opinion on the issue because they don’t even understand what happened.

                    the system itself is highly incentivized by rate policy and lending standards – the government crushed rates and was endlessly pump-priming, while simultaneously actively pulling the regulatory limitations *away* from lenders – literally *forcing them* to put X percent of loans into an otherwise “non-marketable” category of products.

                    They did this while making it unprofitable to use treasuries as a reserve asset; basically doing everything possible to ensure a tectonic shift of credit flowing into real-estate markets.

                    Cartoon version = Government handed out booze, fireworks and gasoline to all the kiddies, and then gave all the firefighters a paid vacation to Tahiti for a month.

                    And then Government blames the guy who periodically checks the batteries on the fire alarms for dereliction of duty.

                    1. Spike the punch bowl and set up DUI check points down the street. It’s brilliant in a way.

    5. Where’s the perp walk?

  4. Here’s hoping the Jordanians carry out their threat to execute ISIS prisoners.

    Naturally, one has low expectations of the due process involved, but as a committed multiculturalist, I say we refrain from imposing our Western notions on these folks.

    1. It’s all about kicking the Western infidels out.

      /sarc.

      1. If I were ISIS, I would kill the prisoners myself.

        Then again, I’m Keyser Soze.

        1. Why is your lawyer named “Kobayashi” when he’s clearly not Japanese?

          1. He’s a member of this commentariat, and therefore obligated to be a ST 2:WoK fan?

      2. I wonder if ISIS wants their prisoners killed just as a recruiting drive.

        I see a lot of these Muslim warriors, like ISIS, as sick and tired of their miserable life in the desert. Whether they wish the modern world would go away or they wish Islam were a happier religion or they hate so many foreigners in their sandbox, I do not know, and it doesn’t matter — they are just sick and tired and ready to blow things up, to lash out in frustration and despair. All it would take is one in a hundred to feel that way for ISIS to make a lot of trouble, and if Jordan executing their prisoners increases recruiting and fires up (heh heh) their base, that’s all they care about.

        ISIS have quite well demonstrated that they are just fucking nuts and want nothing more or less than a puritanical theoracy with them setting the rules.

    2. Yo, fuck these guys. Maybe we should give the Kurds some big-ass weapons.

      1. I wonder if ISIS keeps doing this in order to provoke a disproportionate response, after which they expect to involve other regional nations in a larger war. Clearly they think they have a winning play, but what it might be is anyone’s guess. Could they have a real WMD that they would only use if attacked on a large scale? Or are they just bugfuck insane?

        Are they some sort of apocalyptic sect that wants to start the end?

        1. I suspect they may see the end, only they’ll be viewing that mostly on their own.

          1. They may in fact do that, but it seems tailor made to drag the U.S. back into a military quagmire. Al Qaeda’s goal for a long time was to bankrupt the U.S. wi5h endless war, is ISIS attempting the same?

            Think of how much of our.national product we have.poured down the war drain in the middle east. Another protracted conflict will only put us deeper in debt while having little to show for it.

            1. They may in fact do that, but it seems tailor made to drag the U.S. back into a military quagmire.

              Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

              These guys are almost cartoonishly-designed to push every button to piss us off that we have. While not pissing us off enough to glass the entire area. Isn’t it more likely that this group (ISIS, Dashe, whatever else they’re calling themselves this week) is designed to inflame the West, get the West militarily back into that region of the world, and thereby have them readily available to support the various Sunni dictators in the region? Because, God forbid, the Wahabbi absolute dictators in Saudi and some of the Emirates end up like Ben Ali, or Mubarak, or Assad, or Khadafi, etc…

              Only explanation I have for why ISIS, et al, act the way they do, yet don’t strike in the U.S. (and God knows it’d be easy enough to do so.)

        2. You think they’re being rational. You assume too much.

        3. “Are they some sort of apocalyptic sect that wants to start the end?”

          These propositions are not mutually exclusive.

        4. Their winning play is to pass over the middle on 2nd down with 30 seconds and a time out.

          /noMarshawn

        5. Could they have a real WMD that they would only use if attacked on a large scale?

          Yeppers, they found Saddam’s hidden stash of WMD’s that were on the border ready to fire in 90 minutes.

          1. Where did all of those WMD’s, calutrons that Scott Ritter saw being trucked away from uranium processing sites (presumably between dodging Chris Hansen’s phone calls), the vats of chemicals they used against the Kurds and Iranians: where the fuck did they go anyway?

            You’d think after 10+ years of running the country, we’d have found them by now. Weren’t they all supposed to have been shipped to Syria circa 2002? Did the same guys get them that intercepted all of the otherwise MUF from the former Soviet Union? Stuff beyond just Project Sapphire? If so, hats off.

        6. They are purposely trying to destabilize Jordan. It’s not a homogeneous country. They hope to divide them by stirring up passions.

    3. “Here’s hoping the Jordanians carry out their threat to execute ISIS prisoners.”

      If they don’t, it’ll be worse than if they hadn’t said anything.

      I don’t know if it was the right thing to do on their part (honestly, I don’t know if there is a right response) but it’s refreshing to see a government that seems to actually care about the safety of their citizens. If this had happened to an American pilot I could see Obama saying how sad he was when he read about it in the paper before going back to his round of golf.

      1. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do on their part (honestly, I don’t know if there is a right response)

        I can’t think of a better one.

        “Oh, we’re going to play Kill the Prisoners? Sure. You go first. Keep in mind, though, that you can only score one (1) dead prisoner. We can score many more.”

        “Oh, you don’t give a shit if we kill your people? That’s supposed to convince me to not kill them? I don’t think you understand how this game is played.”

  5. The book was actually completed in the 1950s but set aside.

    Yeah, that’ll be real relevant.

    1. I’d say To Kill a Mockingbird is still relevant, so a sequel probably will be as well.

      1. I seem to remember reading that her uncompleted, unpublished book was written before To Kill a Mockingbird.

        1. To Threaten a Mockingbird

          1. “The Furtive Movements of a Mockingbird.”

            1. To Pull Over a Mockingbird for a Minor Traffic Violation

              1. Scout Learns that Killing Mockingbirds is Illegal in Alabama.

            2. Driving while mockingbird: 50 enemas later

              1. 50 Shades of Mockingbird?

        2. Not relevant? In the new book, Atticus Finch has to defend a fraternity at the University of Virginia accused of gang rape.

          1. +1 Grab its mother fucking leg!

        3. A prequel? Well, that means it will be much better than the original, right?

          1. Or perhaps a sequel written before the first book. What would you call that? “Squeprel”?

            1. Memento?

        4. her uncompleted, unpublished book was written before To Kill a Mockingbird.

          Partly written.

          1. And completed by me. You’re all in it.

      2. That we still talk about Atticus Finch only points to the staying power of the story, plot, themes and narrative of both the novel and film.

        I love that movie.

        1. Great book, great movie. But the sequel will have tanks.

        2. If you ever get a chance to go, Monroeville, AL puts on a play of “To Kill a Mockingbird” every year. First half of the play is performed on the grounds of the Monroeville courthouse. Second half, dealing with the trial, moves into the courthouse itself (which was used as a basis for the movie). While it is definitely amateur, local theater (i.e., overacting by every, especially the children), I quite enjoyed it the two times I’ve seen it.

          If only the town had the funds to reanimate Gregory Peck’s corpse to play Atticus, it would have been perfect…

      3. Still relevant? Who even uses the word chiffarobe anymore?

        1. Did anyone ever? That is the only place I’ve ever seen it, even in literature that ran even older.

          1. Only female southern writers as far as I know. Flannery O’Connor mentioned chiffarobes in a few stories.

            1. Hmm, it’s mentioned in several works.

              And apparently I had one growing up.

        2. Tom Waits?

          1. …for no man.

      4. Why would a story about a man falsely accused of rape be relevant in our wonderful future where we know that there’s no such thing as false rape accusations?

      5. The new book was written before Mockingbird, so it’s not a sequel. Yet Scout is older, so it’s not a prequel. What is it?

        1. Time travel, duh.

          1. The Adventures of Warty Hugeman and the Mocking Doomcock of Doom

        2. A new book?

          I imagine a lot of editing and revision happened after Mockingbird.

          1. Yes, more science fiction elements.

        3. A publisher read it and said that the flashbacks were the best part and asked Harper Lee to expand on them.

    2. Maybe it’s proto-slashfic.

      1. +1 boo radley paper doll

        1. Hey, Boo. Come here. I was wondering if you could… bust up my chifferobe?

          1. Which one is Truman Capote?

    3. They let SF rework it a bit for modern release.

  6. RNC Chair Reince Preibus talks about a problem of diluting bloodlines from the intermarriage of whites with other races. Just kidding!

    Rethuglican Governor Bobby Jindal complains about the diluting bloodlines from the intermarriage of Indians with other races. Just kidding!

    But DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Shultz on the other hand…

    When Democrats do it, it’s not poisonous, ethnocentric chauvinism

    1. Wow, that’s stunning.

      But expect to hear DWS go full idiot in the coming months. She will say all manner of things as trial baloons to see if they are safe enough to be platforms.

      1. I fully expect the media to give her a pass. If a GOP politician had said something similar, we would have all heard about it over and over again for 48 hours in the news. Heck, it would have been listed in the DNC fundraising emails.

        1. Well yeah, I mean your a prog and you hear about this story. Write about it or write about Rand Paul wants to kill children by denying them vaccines. Not a hard choice.

          1. That’s what they’re saying about Rand Paul?

            1. Yes. They said his vaccine comments just killed his campaign. Of course since They are a bunch of idiot progs, take it for what it’s worth.

        2. Yes, they will. Huge double standard.

      2. She hasn’t been full idiot for years already?

        1. Oh, I don’t think we’ve seen full idiot yet. Keep the popcorn ready.

    2. You know who else was worried about Jews intermingling with gentiles?

      1. Jehovah?

      2. Jewish mothers?

        1. Jewish step-children?

      3. Someone whose name is eventually mentioned, thanks to Godwin’s Law?

      4. Now for the bonus round!

        You know who else with a German surname was concerned with intermingling Jews?

        1. Werner Herzog?

          1. Moses Herzog?

            1. Herzog Zwei?

              I mean, that was the point of the game, wasn’t it?

        2. Albert Einstein?

      5. My sister, who disowned me after my non-Jewish wife and I had a kid?

        1. Really? Your sister sucks.

          1. Yes, sorry to hear it.

        2. A Joo in Florida? I don’t believe it.

  7. I find it hard to see a difference between being an American sniper and burning someone alive in a cage.

    1. You know who else burned people alive…

      1. The Spanish Inquisition?

        1. No one expected that.

      2. GG Allin?

      3. Moses? Wait, that was water…

      4. Most of my Skyrim characters?

      5. Madame Ngo Dinh Nhu?

      6. I’m also reminded of the death of St. Lawrence of Rome.

      7. Tibetan monks?

      8. My kid with a magnifying glass in our backyard?
        Those toy soldiers never had a chance.

    2. Then you are a retard. Congratulations.

      1. I think Slammer was making a joke.

        1. Thanks, Tonio.

          1. We definitely need to get a sarcasm button for this site. There’s about a dozen obvious ones missed daily at this point.

            1. Perhaps commentators need to be more intelligent at recognizing sarcasm.

              1. And, there’s #13.

                1. I feel…as if…I am in some kind of loop..

              2. Perhaps the universe needs to stop being so goddam idiotic that there is no longer any distinction between reality, sarcasm, and satire.

              3. Poe’s Law.

        2. Okay. My bad. Sorry Slammer. My apologies. I’ll work on my sarcasm meter.

    3. Sheldon Richman? That you?

  8. A video from the Islamic State appears to show a Jordanian pilot in a cage being burned alive.

    OK, I get beheadings since they’re traditional. They are also fairly quick if done properly. But that burning alive thing is full-on barbaric.

    1. Burning people alive is so 20th Century.

    2. OK, I get female genital mutilation since it’s traditional.

      1. A traditional method of execution which has been used in many times and places throughout history, and is fairly humane (compared to other methods) if done properly.

        Are you really that stupid? Oh, yes, you are. Carry on.

        1. I figured it was sarcasm.

          ISIS could always kill those people by scaphism.

        2. Given that poster’s history, I’m going with idjit.

        3. Eh, burning people alive is still kind of ‘traditional’ in Middle Eastern societies. The Ottomans and other historical Islamic dynasties burned Muslims who converted to other religions alive, and during the Ridda Wars following Muhammad’s death heretics were killed by being set on fire.

          1. Vlad impaled those people on 15 ft. tall spikes…alive…through the anus…

            1. Yeah, and he’s apparently a national hero for it. I’m not taking pot shots at the Middle East alone, that kind of behaviour is basically the standard in human history.

            2. Which he learned from the Turks…

    3. It’s not like he’s Christopher Dorner.

    4. They reference a supposed quote from Mohammad to support burning this poor man alive.

      1. I think that was the one where Mo’ referenced how hot adolescent girls were.

  9. Credit rating firm Standard & Poor has agreed to a $1.5 billion settlement for the way it rated mortgage securities, helping inflate the housing bubble last decade.

    Finally, someone to blame. Now let’s get back to calling banks racist for not giving loans to risky borrowers.

  10. Canada goes full Stasi.

    ‘Police will be able to issue takedown notices, subject to the approval of a judge, to force website hosts based in Canada to destroy comments, blogs, or webpages that are found to promote or glorify terrorist organizations or attacks. People who have posted such material will be allowed to appear in court and defend their postings, although they will open themselves up to self-incrimination if they do so. If they don’t appear in court, the judge can decide to order the information to be deleted anyway.

    Promoting terrorist attacks on a website could also net you up to five years in prison. The bill says that if someone intentionally advocates or promotes terrorism, “knowing or reckless as to whether it would result in terrorism,” it is a crime.’

    Man, Harper sure has been a gigantic pile of shit, hasn’t he?

    1. More of that increasing freedom I keep hearing about.

      1. But gays and pot!

      2. too much freedom!!11! balance between freedom and safety!!!11!

    2. But he got rid of the LONG FORM CENSUS!

      Yeah. The Tories are terrible on issues of liberty.

      1. By the way, they all are full of shit on liberty. Liberals, NDP, Conservatives. I don’t need to mention the Greens.

        As an aside. Green is the color of envy.

        1. It is sad. Canada is hopeless.

        2. Time for everyone to vote Rhino.

          1. YES!

          2. Repeal the law of gravity
            Promote higher education by building taller schools
            Count the Thousand Islands to make sure the Americans didn’t steal any[9]
            Reform the retail lottery scheme by replacing cash prizes with Senate appointments
            Seat the Queen of Canada in Buckingham, Quebec.

        3. Liberals, NDP, Conservatives. I don’t need to mention the Greens.

          The Bloc and Forces et Democracie have a sad.

        4. On the bright side, I made someone in the NP comments section aware of the Libertarian Party, and he likes them.

    3. This is an affront to Canada’s first amendment!

      1. Is it a reasonable and justifiable limitation?

        1. Well, yeah, but… yeah, ok you got me there.

    4. Goes? Canada wasn’t already there?

      And what about the people who glorify the Canadian government’s terrorist activities, like exporting Justin Bieber?

      1. But TWO cast members on ‘Firefly’ were Canadian!

        That’s okay though, eh?

        1. Other cool Canadians:
          SNFU
          D.O.A.
          Doughboys
          Asexuals
          The Nils
          Dayglo Abortions
          Subhumans
          Nomeansno

          And of course, you Rufus.

          1. You forgot William Shatner, Michael J, Fox and Christopher Plummer!

          2. You know how to get to Rufus’s heart.

  11. At this point ISIS seems to be doing us a favor by involving other countries to the extent that they might actually do something, instead of saying “yes, yes, that’s terrible” and then looking the other way.

    1. ^This. They are getting far too big for their britches, as we used to say.

    2. You’d say ISIS is “playing with fire,” so to speak?

    3. Fine, let them (the “other countries”) do something. Every time we get involved it backfires on us.

  12. Meanwhile, at the Social Justice League…

    1. And there are people taking this seriously


      TBTabby
      21 Hours Ago
      Batman, who can only function as a superhero the way he does because he’s rich, is calling other people privileged.

    2. That comic “others” the blind.

  13. More news from the Land of Hope and Change:

    NSA still collecting Americans’ phone records data, despite not knowing the program’s worth

    “US President Barack Obama said more than a year ago in a speech that he wanted the phone records program to change, favoring an unknown non-governmental third-party entity to hold the records.”

    I hereby volunteer to be the non-governmental third-party entity to hold the records. I promise I won’t sneak a peek.

    1. Wouldn’t a non-governmental third party be your phone company? And then if the government wants the data, they must get a warrant.

      1. Warrant. Schmarrant.

        A simple “National Security Letter” will do. Or perhaps a mere phone call from the Director of the FBI some low level security bureaucrat.

  14. My tax refund this year was $22.

    “Yar, sometimes I wonder why I even plunder at all.”

    Fortunately, I was able to answer yes to “did you have health insurance?”

    That saved me from a $925 penaltax. When I had a high-deductible plan 2 years ago, I was paying about $100 per month, so the penaltax is less than the yearly cost of that.

    1. The question is…

      WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THE $22?

      1. He’d better not deposit it in a bank. That’s a sure sign of structuring since it’s less than $10k.

        1. But he can’t *not* deposit it, as withholding deposits to avoid scrutiny is also illegal.

      2. Pay part of the H & R Block preparation fee.

    2. $22 is solid, you never want a large refund. It means you fucked up.

      1. I prefer to owe a bit. Interest-free short-term loan!

        1. That used to mean something back when rates were all the way up into the single digits.

      2. Dude, I really fucked up. I have a 5 figure refund coming.

        1. A mere rounding error for the monocle wearing crowd.

        2. Cool! Hey Playa, you hosting a big barbecue for all the H&R commentariat? Great way to spend your refund!

    3. We did our taxes this week. I was surprised that all they did was ask if you had health insurance. No proof required. Maybe that’s their way of making Obamacare look good – “According to the IRS, EVERY taxpayer reported that they were insured last year! Success!”

      1. Like anything else regarding taxes it’s only a lie if you get audited.

        1. Something, something the income tax has made more liars than golf.

    4. I will owe the feds a couple hundred bucks, but will get some back from the state.

    5. I filed my taxes over a year ago.

      1. You might want to file again, just in case they owe you.

      2. My favorite quote from that episode:

        IRS guy: Mr Simpson, this government computer can process nine tax returns a day. Did you really think you could fool it?

        Homer: No sir, sorry sir, an older boy told me to do it.

        http://vimeo.com/34934693

    6. That means your witholdings were near perfect. Then again, I’m owing more than expected because of some changes last year and my penalty is only going to be like $20. Seems like a pretty good interest rate on a loan from the government. Only going to change my witholdings this year to avoid an audit rape party.

      1. When I lived in Chicago, I had a similar return where I ended up owing $20. Lousy state income taxes…

      2. a loan from the government

        The fuck?

    7. penaltax

      Don’t you mean “Shared Responsibility Payment?” Seriously, that’s actually what they’re calling it.

      1. Whoever came up with that phrase should be subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques.

        1. Or invited to the next ISIS non-celebrity roast.

        2. And not none of this water-boarding shit; like real ISIS level, extradite you to Kazakhstan level ‘interrogation techniques’.

    8. I answered no, but I said I had a hardship, which I did this year, so I’m exempt from the mandate! This year I have insurance.

  15. I’m surprised there hasn’t been an HnR post about Cathy Young’s mattress girl expose. It got mentioned in a thread earlier but I figured it deserved more attention so I’m putting it here.

    It’s a long piece, but the tl;dr version is that she made it up and completely misrepresented the pursuant investigation to make herself out to be continually more of a victim, backed up by facebook posts and text messages that mattress girl herself confirmed are real.

    Contrary to what some people fear, stories like these do not actually make me less likely to believe the claims of assault victims–just the ones who make a very big show of putting a giant media spotlight on how damaged and pitiable they are.

    1. Thanks, Marv.

    2. It’s not going to go anywhere. Unlike with Jackie, this isn’t big enough in the news anymore for any feminists to make idiots of themselves by calling Cathy names, so it will all be quietly swept under the rug.

    3. What is the accused guy going to do in a counter-stunt?

      Carry around a pillow?

    4. But, I suspect that the legacy media won’t want to embarrass her patron, the US Senator. So this will die a quiet death.

    5. But in no way does being a victim confer any kind of status or advantage. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that mattress girl was a guest at the State of the Union.

      1. That’s a good call, HP. She’s been annointed, or is it accredited, I forget.

    6. It’s hard for me to take these accusations seriously when no attempt is made to contact the police and the victim is nameless.

      In most of these cases, the victim knows the assailant, thus making it very easy to confront them.

    7. After a summer of affectionate and often intimate Facebook chats (screenshots of which Nungesser, who has since deactivated all of his social-media accounts,

      They do learn… often too late, but they eventually learn.

      1. In his case though they ended up being his saving grace.

    8. It’s a long piece, but the tl;dr version is that she made it up and completely misrepresented the pursuant investigation to make herself out to be continually more of a victim,

      This isn’t news.

    9. I called this the first day I heard about it.

      I saw it get posted to twitter by New York Magazine’s account, so I responded with something like ‘So we’re just assuming people are rape victims now even if there’s no evidence of any crime?’

      I was immediately called a rape apologist.

      These people cannot learn. They’re incapable of learning from mistakes. Some new and obviously false narrative will catch their attention next week, and any of us who doubt it will be considered friends of rapists.

    10. “When that article was published in early May, we did not know the man’s identity. As far as I know, at that point in time, Ms. Sulkowicz had never publicly identified him.”

      Then why did you run the story?

    11. As one of the comments points out, forcibly ass-raping a struggling woman, without any assistance, is pretty much impossible. It’s difficult to hit that particular moving target.

      But the facebook chats are so damning. She claims months later that she couldn’t talk to him because it was triggering, but she was begging to meet up and hang with him for the weeks following the incident?

    12. Why does someone do something like that?

  16. Now we can all make sure our posts are in accordance with the New York Times gender neutral glossary

  17. Gawker has a problem with that McDonald’s ad:

    McDonald’s, the molded plastic king of America’s molded plastic cuisine, has decided that money will no longer suffice to purchase its meager offerings; the company now demands that you degrade yourself in order to be fed…

    They promise to randomly offer McDonald’s customers everywhere the chance to degradingly parade their most intimate feelings for their family members around in a McDonald’s lobby in exchange for a few dollars worth of unhealthy fast food. If I had the temerity of the McDonald’s corporation when it comes to advising Americans how to properly display their emotions, I would recommend that any customer asked to “Dial up your mom” instead call McDonald’s corporate headquarters at 630-623-3000 and inform them of your deep disgust with their cynical marketing ploy, and of your intention to never again patronize their restaurants?which, as a former McDonald’s employee, I assure you are staffed by underpaid workers all too ready to spit in your food at the slightest provocation.

    1. McDonald’s workers are underpaid? Seems like they have no problem filling job vacancies.

    2. which, as a former McDonald’s employee, I assure you are staffed by underpaid workers all too ready to spit in your food at the slightest provocation.

      IOW, asshole writer used to spit in people’s food and assumes everyone else is as big as asshole as he is.

    3. At this point “Gawker” is an OED acceptable synonym for “misanthrope”.

    4. So vomit-inducing. The entire campaign is rooted in such normative understandings of what a “family” is, not matter how outdated that vision is. What if a person has two dads? What if their mother is dead, or they are estranged? Don’t make assumptions about how people perceive “family.”

      The first line of this comment seems oddly self aware… Oh wait.

      1. Why use the word “vomit-inducing?” Why not just say “nauseating?”

        1. Why use the word “vomit-inducing?” Why not just say “nauseating?”

          That’s not in his 200 word vocabulary.

    5. the company now demands that you degrade yourself in order to be fed…

      I’m pretty sure I can still walk into McDonalds and just pay cash for food.

  18. Stockton Unified Schools cop strip searches a 14-year old student and will face MISDEMEANOR charges.

    Scariest part of the whole thing?

    FTA (emphasis mine): Deputy District Attorney Elton Grau filed the complaint Jan. 26 in San Joaquin County Superior Court. He declined to comment on the facts of the case, because they are part of an ongoing court case.
    He did, however, say, law enforcement agencies at schools must have a reasonable suspicion that a child has a weapon on him or her in order to search the child.

    The fucking district attorney thinks reasonable suspicion is grounds to commit a fucking strip search on a 14-year old? No PC, no warrant, just reasonable suspicion.

    What. The. Fuck.

    1. By the way, the sexual assaulter is also the head of the local police union.

    2. In loco parentis. Because parents strip-searching their 14-year-old wouldn’t face any charges what-so-ever. What. So. Ever.

      1. Hey, at least the cop didn’t leave the 14 y.o. in a car while he went to a wine tasting.

      2. jee, I never got strip searched by my parents, they must not have loved me.

    3. Clarence Thomas said it’s ok.

    1. Yeah, man. It’s crazy how they have been #1 in job creation. Abso-f***ing-lutely crazy.

      1. Jobs, schmobs. Who needs jobs when you can have free Shit?!

    2. He’s no better than his esteemed colleague, Florida Woman.

      1. Meanwhile, in neighboring Georgia, they think islands can tip over.

      2. Remember this?

        What should the United States do to stop what’s going on in Freedonia?

        Asked that question, a number of House freshmen, clearly not fans of the Marx Brothers, offered answers that included “take action” and “it’s a different situation than the Middle East.”

        Not one got the joke.

        The joker was Spy magazine, whose staff revived the sovereign but fictitious nation of Freedonia from “Duck Soup,” the 1933 Marx Brothers movie.

        Posing as the host of a New York radio talk show, Spy’s staff called about 20 first-term House members and, after a series of innocuous questions, asked, “Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop what’s going on in Freedonia?” or “Do you approve of what we’re doing to stop ethnic cleansing in Freedonia?”

        The responses, apparently based on the assumption that the questioner was asking about Bosnia, came readily.

        Representative Corrine Brown, Democrat of Florida, said she approved of what the United States was doing in Freedonia, and added, “I think all of those situations are very, very sad, and I just think we need to take action to assist the people.”

        http://www.nytimes.com/1993/01…..to-oz.html

        1. Although I’m familiar with the movie & the fictional country name, I’d’ve assumed they were referring to Fredonia, NY.

  19. Rand Paul has really fucked up with this vaccine shit. I am even seeing people link it on my FB and I’m in Canada. Why in the hell did he say anything about it? Dumb.

    1. Maybe he needs to be a non-running running candidate like Hillary.

    2. I agree.

      I believe Ontario is stepping up measures to make it mandatory.

    3. What did he say? All I saw was that he said it shouldn’t be mandatory.

    4. He can easily walk it back, but we’ll see if he does.

  20. To Kill a Mockingbird: modern classic or patriarchal rape denial fiction?

  21. This is why we need to pay our brave first responders more. It’s obvious they are resorting to other methods in an attempt to feed their poor, starving families.

  22. Harper Lee is going to be publishing a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird, called Go Set a Watchman.

    Was ‘Go Set a Watchman’ also edited by Truman Capote? I’m nuts about Capote. I would read a McDonald’s menu over and over if it were written by Capote.

    1. If I wanted to know more about Truman Capote, the person, what you recommend I do? The only thing I’ve done so far is watch the 2005 biopic with PSH.

        1. TCM had a Neil Simon marathon all last month. Did they air Murder by Death? I didn’t see it.

          1. Time for a poignant, yet stinging, letter to TCM management. Written in longhand.

          2. I believe it was on the first night of the marathon.

            1. Time for a poignant, yet stinging, retraction of the letter you wrote to TCM management. Also written in longhand.

              1. CT should also subscribe to the TCM program guide Now Playing. In fact, he should get two subscriptions so he can cancel one when morally outrage requires it.

                1. MORAL outrage.

                  Preview fail.

              2. Second night. 8:00 PM on January 9.

      1. I don’t know. He wanted to be a celebrity after his best works were published and that’s how he’s been most known, at Studio 54 and such.

        “The Grass Harp”, a short story (and movie), seems to be an semi-autobiographical of his youth.

  23. MILLENNIAL POLL!

    http://fusion.net/story/41972/…..tion-2016/

    …and they want Hillary!

    1. Fun fact: the country music video for Hillary is only the 3rd worst thing in the known universe. This Hillary Clinton song is the worst:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLSWudoqtWE

    2. Libertarian Moment! Libertarian Generation!

    1. The worst part is Foote slobbering over the idea of authority.

      1. He “went to school” in Ann Arbor, what do you expect?

  24. The National Transportation Safety Board believes a deadly small plane crash in Colorado may be a result of the pilot and passengers taking selfies.

    Did they keep taking them until impact?

    1. They were in night instrument meteorological conditions, taking flash pictures in the cockpit. That is a terribly distracting thing to do. They were flying a Cessna 150 which almost certainly had no autopilot, so the pilot would have needed a pretty large amount of his.own personal concentration to maintain control of the plane. Evidently they were doing all this at a low altitude above ground level. It’s like a perfect storm of piloting stupid.

      1. So plane sex is right out, then?

  25. Stay classy Quebec.

    http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/n…..-1.2212478

      1. N’est pas Joual.

  26. One month after minimum wage hike, progtopia established!

    Complete with moronic “multiplier” comments.

    1. Correction: 9 months

    2. It’s amazing, not just the total absence of any understanding of economics, but of logic as well. If more wages makes everything better, why not $100/hour? Boom times, baby!

      1. Stossel put this question to David Sirota. Hilarity ensued.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywDuCEIeHnM

    3. Funny story, all of the “positive effects” mentioned in the article were already planned and approved prior to the wage hike. Another funny story, the airport is part of Seattle, not SeaTac.

      The article is simply wrong, but the progs wank to it nonetheless.

      1. Well, to be fair, they have nothing if they don’t have their delusions. Reality is not their friend.

    4. Instead, his business, the Cedarbrook Lodge hotel, is expanding, adding 63 more beds to meet demand. Instead of layoffs, he needs to hire more people. And his story is not the only one.

      Raising the minimum wage caused more customers to want hotel rooms. It’s fucking magic.

      1. The comments on that article are as ludicrous as any I’ve ever read. About 3/4 insist that the Koch brothers’ sole goal is to destroy the middle class in the USA, there is no other reason for their political activism. The other 1/4 say “libertarianism is all about I’ve got mine, screw you.”

        And yes, all seem to believe that the economy is better completely due to people who are making $15 an hour spending all that windfall cash on hotel rooms and restaurant dinners.

        1. “DAYUM!! Got muh raise! We’re stayin’ at the Cedarbrook tonight!

  27. What should the United States do to stop what’s going on in Freedonia?

    “Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you’re out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, we’ll be in be in here thinking what a fool you are.”

  28. Suppose you’re captured by ISIS and given a choice between being beheaded and being burned alive.

    Which do you pick?

    1. Getting shot trying to escape?

      1. ISIS is doing an excellent job in their quest to make sure all of their enemies will fight to the death.

        1. That’s what I was thinking.

        2. If ISIS keeps beheading people and burning them alive and such, very soon, Obama is going to feel compelled to do something just as stupid in his own way.

          1. You mean taking hostages and executing them? That’s seems a bit extreme, even for Obama, though I guess he might decide that it’s the hip thing to do.

            1. Obama does not take hostages. Like the mighty Zeus, he smites his enemies from above where’er they may try to hide.

    2. Since when is burning people alive an Islamic punishment? I thought it was all swords and stones for them.

    3. Convert to islam

    4. I’d try to bite a motherfucker to death, given no other recourse.

  29. OT, but pertinent given today’s debates. Here’s the Volokh Conspiracy on views of scientists versus the public. And here they are on tort law and vaccination.

    1. Neither of those links work.

  30. Want to feel disgusted/outraged? Apparently a chunk of the anti-vaxxer community has convinced themselves that it’s possible to cure autism by giving their kids bleach enemas:

    The 5 Scariest Autism ‘Treatments’ (all 1 page despite clickbait style title)

    1. Is that for washing out the bad humours?

    2. That sounds dangerous.

  31. “Hey Abdul,how do you like your Jordanian, regular or extra crispy? And may I also recommend the sushi.”

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  33. Mock… Yeah! Ing… Yeah! Bird… Yeah!…

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