Obama Says Politicians Invented College, New Saudi King Is Crowned, Tom Brady Talks About Balls: A.M. Links


  • Tom Brady

    President Obama credited politicians with inventing college—an ahistorical remark that nevertheless explains why college is so worthless.

  • The death of Saudi King Abdullah has made Queen Elizabeth the world's oldest monarch.
  • Tom Brady denied any wrongdoing in the Deflategate scandal as Twitter erupted into juvenile humor.
  • ISIS video shows clock counting down to zero—at which time the terrorist group has vowed to execute two Japanese hostages.
  • A 67-year-old woman claims the NYPD arrested her for informing on drug dealers in her apartment complex too frequently. The woman called the police, or a drug hotline, 40 times in 15 months. Eventually, police came to her apartment and arrested her.
  • A speedrunner just set a new world record for beating Super Mario World. The play-through, which exploits a glitch, only takes 5 minutes and is nothing short of incredible.

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  1. Finally! Carthage is delivered!

    1. Hey, where’s everyone else? Fist?

      This is like one of those creepy twilight zone episodes where you wake up in what looks like your normal world, except you’re the only person…

      1. He’s boycotting the comments, I’m sure. ARE YOU WITH HIM?

    2. Hello.

      That college? You didn’t build that.

      1. Keep it surreal, doc.

    3. Hello.

      I leave for 20 minutes and 120 comments?

      Anyone see this?


      This guy.

  2. Science! (Where’s Bailey?):


    1. “Intergral Membrane Proteins” respond to thought. Who knew?

  3. I hope this was worth the wait.

  4. ISIS video shows clock counting down to zero?at which time the terrorist group has vowed to execute two Japanese hostages.

    Margaret Hamilton and the hourglass!

    1. Congrats on your official “First.”

      1. Wait, what? I thought you were first and I was merely Miss Congeniality.

        1. Official firsts require an italicized or block quote’d link, plus pithy (or attempted pithy) comment. So you win.

          1. Tell ‘im what he’s won, Johnnie!
            It’s Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat with a flavor that’s sure to please! And now back to you, Wink!

          2. I was unsure about whether a quote was required, but agree with BMSFC.

            Although I’m a huge stickler for italics and block quotes, I’m ok with quotation marks for very short quotes (two lines max, but preferably one line or less).

      2. I was first (as in topmost, earliest dated comment), but to qualify for an official First one must comment on one of the actual links to prove that one has read the AM Links post instead of just lurking around with random text in your paste buffer.

        1. I would like to thank the Academy, my co-stars, my director, and my wonderful children- I could not have done this without all of your amazing support.

          1. Well-done, OMWC.

            1. I’m applauding with my hands, as suggested by 1920s theatre etiquette.

    2. Just bc you’re terrorists doesn’t mean you can’t build a giant pendulum and whoosh, whoosh. Get more views I bet.

  5. Norwegian soldiers sent on ‘naked jog’ catch frostbite
    Six young recruits for military police needed medical treatment after being sent on shoeless, unclothed run in northern Norway early on Monday morning

    1. Thus reinforcing all those things Switzy has said about the Norse.

      1. When I was Private Servator, we were linked with a Norwegian Army unit – they are a bit nuts about cold. I didn’t need any displays of cold superiority by them!

    2. The question is – did they get frost bite in the tips of their fingers, nose, toes, ears – or some other sensitive place?

  6. Fuck.


      1. He just wasted all his links in another thread.

    1. They tricked you into shooting your load prematurely

      1. The embarrassment of premature elinkulation.

      2. Now he’s got something of a mess on his hands.

        1. And evidently to old for a repeat performance.

    1. These programs take kids who are maybe a bit confused or have a few stray thoughts and convince them they are defective or that their stray thoughts define who they are.

      1. These programs take kids who are maybe a bit confused or have a few stray thoughts and convince them they are defective or that their stray thoughts define who they are.

        It certainly seems that the inspectors have their black and white clearly laid out for them. You’re either homosexual or a rabid bigot.

        Tolerance yay!

        1. Yeah. There have always been people who have homosexual thoughts or experiences when they are young and then for whatever reason turn into straight adults. These people seem intent on making as many children who have such experiences as possible into screwed up neurotics unsure of their gender or sexual preference.

          Your whole identity is not determined by your sexual preference. Sometimes thoughts or experiences are just that, one time things. It is just evil

          1. “These people seem intent on making as many children who have such experiences as possible into screwed up neurotics…”

            Yep. Exactly.

      2. This looks to be more about thoughtcrime, as IFH mentioned below. Apparently the authorities decided that kid was thinking bad thoughts.

        My god the UK has really gone off the rails.

    2. FWIW, this is in the UK, so less surprising than in USA. What’s the situation like in Oz, Hand?

      1. We don’t have central inspectors routinely checking small kids for thought crimes, just the occasional idiot teacher.

    3. My take on this from skimming TFA was that they targeted this school in particular. Seems like the school is a Christian school but not a Church of England school. My guess is that the church which runs the school is on record as being anti-gay.

      This is really a problem with government funding (and therefore control) of religious schools.

      1. This is really a problem with government funding (and therefore control) of religious schools.

        I think the Church of England is irrelevant; this Christian school hasn’t educated it’s girls precisely on the appropriate level of moisture that should be generated by the Queen.

    4. Pupils’ response to inspectors’ questions showed immaturity and a lack of awareness in discussing these matters.

      Lack of maturity from 10 year olds? Shameful.

    5. “…Ofsted’s decision, which has the potential to close down the well-performing faith school.”

      The heart of the matter.

  7. Meanwhile in Bangkok:

    Who dumped two tons of unused condoms in this empty field?

    Ayutthaya officials are looking for someone who dumped thousands of large, unused condoms in an empty field and tried to burn them.

    Ten workers were sent this afternoon to clean up the condoms found in an empty field in the Saphantai subdistrict. The condoms were unpackaged, unused, piled up and partially burned.

    According to Pol. Supoj Pensawang’s insightful eyes, most of the condoms were large in size.

    1. SugarFree?

      1. Its his performance art.

      2. No, Warty. We were just out back and he was showing me his penis. It is everything it is reputed to be, including the barbs.

        1. Well, the article did say they were “large in size”…

          1. Large for an Asian.

        2. Did someone give the inconsiderate gift of a truckload of condoms to Warty? ‘Cause Warty goes bareback. Always.

          1. Barbs and rubbers don’t really go together, you know.

        3. Did someone say penis?

          Penises on the fashion catwalk ? a flesh flash too far?


          1. I’d like to think if Joan Rivers were still with us she’d say something like “Well, I’ve seen plenty of dicks at fashion shows but most of ’em were in the audience!”

      3. It says they were unused, so no.

    2. Sounds like a rogue Catholic faction. I wonder where Eddie was at that time.

    3. “….dumped thousands of large, unused condoms…”

      They were large. It is Bangkok. They were unneeded.

  8. In honour of our national day, 26 odd things about Australia

    1. Only 26 odd things about Australia?

    2. I thought that everything was odd about Australia.

      1. i just watched an odd thing set in Australia. 1970’s weird mining town flick with a young Donald Pleasance.


    3. I still haven’t found any of that ‘odd’

      1. So you find square poop normal?

    4. I’d prefer this list: “Ten Things in Australia that Will Not Entirely Kill You.”

    5. Happy Australia Day, IFH!


      The world’s first “flash mob” occurred at a Tasmanian prison in 1832 when 300 women convicts stood as one and bared their buttocks at the visiting Governor during an assembly. The convicts at the Cascades Female Factory collectively spun around, lifted their skirts and slapped their bottoms at the Governor, Sir John Franklin, his wife and the reverend William Bedford “making a not very musical noise”.

      So, Aussie Bum has always been a thing, eh?

  9. http://news.yahoo.com/argentin…..20448.html

    Kirchner is fucking nuts. At this point the Kims are shaking their heads at how nuts she is.

    1. Great goals by Cahill. I see the calls for the “younger generation” to step up. Response seems minimal so far.

        1. Unreal.

          On a related note: they should probably play the Asian Cup in Australia every time. Because of immigration, they’re always going have great crowds at every game.

          1. I would like to watch that but my cable in the US only has the African Cup games. The crowds in Equatorial Guinea aren’t exactly on fire – even when Equatorial Guinea plays.

        2. The few secular, burqa-free Iranian women I’ve met are smoking hot. I wonder how Iran would be if was still Zoroastrian and had never been invaded and islamized.

          1. there is still a minority Zoroastrian population. Persian chicks can he smoking hot..the definition of exotic beauty.

          2. The burqa was present in Sassanid Persia as well.

            That whole region of the world has always been big on cloistered women. The dynasties and religions change; the status of women remains the same.

        3. And I’m sure the NYT will be doing a detailed story on that in 3,2,1…

  10. This Is What Gold Does In A Currency Crisis, Euro Edition

    Yesterday the European Central Bank acknowledged that the currency it manages is being sucked into a deflationary vortex. It responded in the usual way with, in effect, a massive devaluation. Eurozone citizens have also responded predictably, by converting their unbacked, make-believe, soon-to-be-worth-a-lot-less paper money into something tangible. They’re bidding gold up dramatically.

    1. THE Euro is down to $1.14. Low oil prices mean cheaper flights. If the Euro continues to crash, Europe may be affordable again.

    2. FAKE SCANDAL!!!111!!!

      1. “I followed the Shriek ‘Take That You Goldbug Idiots’ shorting program to Xtreme wealth!!!!!”

        1. Are you now 8% richer?

          1. I invested in tin futures.

            1. I got a rock

              1. Nice.

    3. The Swiss depegging showed not only thier clocks have good timing.

      1. *grovels even harder toward Zurich*

      2. How is Switzerland for retirement, I wonder?

        1. Fuck that. While pretty, and populated by mostly nice people, their dumb ass government implemented that peg in the first place. They also are on a new found anti-gun kick (which seems to be working unfortunately). I don’t trust their government to make any good decisions. All the rhetoric during the gold vote proved that the government is 100% disconnected from the populous.

        2. Hideously expensive. Forget the whole idea.

    4. This “deflation” stuff is all a bunch of total Krugnittian bullshit.

      The west has to resort to endless printing money to finance its massive deficit spending at rock-bottom interest rates because private investors and other governments can’t and/or won’t finance them any longer. The rationalizations they give us are pure nonsense.

    5. I guess fixing their broken banking system isn’t an option.

  11. Where’t the apology for tardiness?

    1. Hey! That’s no way to talk about the tards!

        1. You know who else wanted to force others to provide cake?

          1. Colorado?

          2. NIXON?!?!?

    2. Ha, ha.

      You said ‘apology.’

  12. White House Proposals on 529 College Plans Would Reduce Benefits

    Look at this moronic quote:

    “They primarily provide a subsidy to people who would save in other forms anyway,” said Sandy Baum, a senior fellow at the Urban Institute.

    Subsidy? The government is stuffing money into the pockets of these savers by not taxing them?

    F*** you, Sandy Baum. People’s wealth is not government-owned property, to be released at the pleasure of the government.

    1. Taking less is giving! Giving less is taking!

    2. I keep reading that as “Sandy Bum.”

    3. According to the Wikipedia article on the Urban Institute:

      The institute receives funding from government contracts, foundations and private donors.

      If your organization is on the government take, it is understandable why you view not robbing people at gun point as unfairly giving them free sh1t.

    4. These are the same people who hate HSAs.

      Any money that isnt taxed and allows people to pay for a service themselves is hated.

      Government must provide!!!

      1. Don’t forget the – fairly quiet – proposal to tax and/or confiscate 401k accounts.

    5. Any money we don’t take is just like welfare since we own it all. This is what this people think.

      1. They really do. They consider letting people keep more of their own earnings a ‘cost’ to government.

        1. They talk about proposals to lower taxes in exactly the same way and treat them exactly the same way as they do proposals to spend money. Taking less of someone’s property is to their thinking no different than giving someone welfare. Thus, anyone who wants to lower taxes just wants to give money to the rich. It is just sick.

          1. You have perfectly captured Tony’s feelings on this.

    6. This has been talked about since he mentioned paying for CC. It hits home for me because the ONLY reason I went with a 529 was the tax benefit. If I am going to save for Little Miss Bandit then why not tax free. Once that rule changes I am out. Moving my money to somewhere else.
      To sum up:
      People who saved for school with an account designed to encourage saving for school by not taxing it will be taxed on it to pay for people who didn’t save for school. got it…bizarro world.

      1. Once you throw out the notion of merit anything goes.
        Progs are hell bent to destroy incentives.

  13. Although technically impressive, I call shenanigans on that Mario speed run since it required delving into the code, and dissecting it to discover the insane cryptic secrets necessary to skip to the credits. No “normal” kid is going to accidentally discover that sequence of events in order to complete the game the fastest.

    1. You probably think Kirk cheated on the Kobayashi Maru test too.

      1. He did. At any real academic institution, such a stunt would get a failing grade and potentially an expulsion.

        1. It was a military academy.

          1. A fictional military academy. Such behaviour would be a boot out the door at a real one.

            1. Unless, you know, it’s the Air Force and you’re part of the Nuclear missile program. Then cheating is ‘systematic‘.

              1. the only way to win this game is not to play.

            2. In the reboot movie in 2009, he was kicked out, only to sneak back onto the Enterprise when shit started going down.

              1. I haven’t seen any AU content.

      2. Kirk himself says that he didn’t beat the no-win scenario. He reprogrammed it so that there was a win scenario and won.

    2. And as madcasual points out below, he didn’t really beat anything, unless beating the game only requires getting the credits to roll.

    3. During Awesome Games Done Quick the other week they reprogrammed Super Mario World (using just button inputs, though these were done by a bot) into Super Mario Bros., and reprogrammed Pokemon Red into an IRC chat program. Now that was impressive.

      1. It’s like they can see the code of the matrix. Our true freedom is nigh, and who knew the SNES would be the conduit!

  14. Man, 20, Cops Plea To Lewd Act With Stuffed Horse Inside Walmart

    As detailed in a police report, Johnson “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department,” and then proceeded to the comforter aisle in the housewares section. There, he “proceeded to pull out his genitals” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.”

    After he “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” Johnson (pictured at left) placed the soiled stuffed horse “on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.” The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the semen-splattered horse was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.

    I’m sure someone would have bought it.

    1. Semen-splattered Horse would be a great name for a band – say, Willie Nelson’s next backing band

      1. Bloody Mary Morning indeed.

      2. Double-Decker Rectum Wreckers

    2. Yeah, well:


      Mildly NSFW.

      1. Should’ve had a cartoon picture of Mohammed on the tip.

    3. hen I first read this I wondered why 20 cops were caught committing a lewd act with a stuffed horse.

    4. Takes the meaning of “Trojan Horse” to a whole new level.

    5. Ladies, he’s single!

    6. “A Florida man…”

      Stopped reading right there.

  15. A speedrunner just set a new world record for beating Super Mario World.

    Memory manipulation and you don’t fight the primary antagonist? Makes “beating” seem rather generous.

  16. Senate surpasses 2014 vote total in one week

    The new Republican-controlled Senate has already voted on more amendments in one week than the Democratic-controlled Senate considered in all of 2014.

    Republican senators applauded the feat when Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) announced it on the Senate floor.

    “We’ve actually reached a milestone here that I think is noteworthy for the Senate. We just cast our 15th roll call vote on an amendment on this bill, which is more votes ? more roll call votes on amendments than the entire United States Senate [did] in all of 2014,” he said.

    1. I am not taking this a “good” news. Unless they start repealing laws that restrict liberty.

      HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* *cough* *cough* *HACK!11!* …oohhhhh, my…

    2. But roll call votes are a good thing since it puts them on record. I think that all votes for bills or amendments for bills should be required to be roll call votes. Voice votes should only be used to end debate, or to adjourn.

  17. Pro Tip – don’t get the flu this season.

    *hacks up another chunk of lung*

    1. And for bonus fun, this years flu shot is basically worthless.

      1. Don’t I know it…

      2. And for bonus fun, this years flu shot is basically worthless.

        Flu shot = AGW, IMO.

        More than a decade of flu vaccines, we have an ‘epidemic’ *annually*.

        Fuck scientism and the science it rode in on.

        1. The problem is the flu shot is the best guess as to what’s going to be trending. Since they can’t vaccinate against every strain, there’s always going to be a breakout of one of the strains they had low confidence in. It’s a sysephean effort.

        2. They get about 50% immunization rates now. They need to get to 80% to have any real affect on stopping outbreaks.

          They important thing is that the flue can lead to death for some populations (like the elderly) so immunizing those populations is first priority.

          1. They get about 50% immunization rates now. They need to get to 80% to have any real affect on stopping outbreaks.


            CDC does not know exactly how many people die from seasonal flu each year. There are several reasons for this. First, states are not required to report individual seasonal flu cases or deaths of people older than 18 years of age to CDC. Second, seasonal influenza is infrequently listed on death certificates of people who die from flu-related complications. Third, many seasonal flu-related deaths occur one or two weeks after a person’s initial infection, either because the person may develop a secondary bacterial co-infection (such as bacterial pneumonia) or because seasonal influenza can aggravate an existing chronic illness (such as congestive heart failure or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).

            Moreover, no real vaccine is as ineffective as the flu vaccine, but we sure vaccinate progressively more people and with more frequently ‘mismatched’ vaccines as can be seen because the more recent flu seasons have been notably worse according to the CDC who, themselves, don’t reliably know.

            Over the burning ashes of my Master’s in Biochemistry, again I say; Fuck scientism and the science it rode in on.

            1. Third, many seasonal flu-related deaths occur one or two weeks after a person’s initial infection, either because the person may develop a secondary bacterial co-infection (such as bacterial pneumonia) or because seasonal influenza can aggravate an existing chronic illness (such as congestive heart failure or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).

              Thanks for the link showing “the flu can lead to death for some populations”.

              1. So, the fact that 50%-80% vaccination rates and the effect they have on the population is essentially unknowable given the existing data is just a trifling detail to you, but the fact that a population that is pre-selected to be near to death can be lead to death is the takeaway?

      3. Anyone working on an updated one in time for the season?

        1. No. Immunizations need to happen in the Oct time frame for maximum effect during flu season (Jan & Feb). So it is too late for this year.

          1. Looks like it takes about 4 months to produce a new vaccine as well. Is it weird that there appears to be one government agency in charge of all of this decision making?

            Is there any ban on a company producing a flu vaccine that covers 3 or 4 more strains that the CDC does not cover for the current year? That could be good business if something like this happens often.

            1. That could be good business if something like this happens often.

              It’s almost like, if the vaccine worked, people would flock to it like they did for polio or do for tetanus when they run a nail through their foot (not that many Americans do it anymore).

              The CDC can call it a vaccine and get every doctor and healthcare professional within driving distance of a Walgreens to pimp the shit out of it and still can’t get the market traction of Cold-eze, zinc, echinacea or chicken soup.

              1. Are you saying that a properly targeted H3N2 vaccine would not lower rates of H3N2 in people that got exposed to it or improve recovery times in people who got infected with it?

                I am pretty sure that is against the science. It is difficult to predict the strain, but the vaccine works if the strain is predicted correctly.

                1. I’m saying the science that discovered and defined immunity is very different from the ‘science’ that the CDC uses to define the ‘immunity’ imparted by the flu vaccine. Read the studies and look at the data, they sound more like the effectiveness of a given diet on heart disease than the effectiveness at preventing tetanus or smallpox.

                  Even in a well matched year, 60% (50-70% for 95%) prevention is the outcome and this varies across populations and is well known to drop off in the populations that need it most.

                  The flu vaccine is, in no practical way, currently similar to previous vaccines. It’s not possible to eradicate the flu the way we did polio or smallpox or even combat it the way we do chicken pox or measles.

                  To totally Godwin the argument;
                  Saying the H3N2 vaccine is 100% effective at preventing H3N2 (it’s not) and extrapolating that to THE flu is more akin to extrapolating the extermination of a race of humans to all humanity, IMO.

                  1. The World Health Organization make educated guesses by February about which strains will be circulating later that fall: some years their algorithms for picking the strains are better than others. Yet in even the years when their estimates fall short, the flu shot is worthwhile: a meta-analysis looking at 34 randomized, controlled trials across 47 flu seasons found that even when the strains in the flu vaccine do not match the strains circulating that year, the flu vaccine offered a measure of protection against the circulating strains.

                    Yet even studies showing low overall effectiveness ? this one found anywhere from 33 to 100 adults need to be vaccinated each year to prevent one case of the flu ? still show a reduced risk of the flu in vaccinated individuals. Coming at it from a different angle, another recent study estimated that vaccination prevented anywhere from 1.1 million to 5 million flu infections during each flu season over six years.


                    Influenza, is endemic to *animals* and regarding it as something that needs to be or can be eradicated is no different than regarding CO2 as something that needs minimizing at all costs. The flu vaccine and the way we use it no more cures the flu than eliminating CO2 emissions fixes AGW. It would be nice if we could control both/either with zero cost, but that’s not the case.

            2. Too much liability.

    2. Had it in December before it was fashionable.

      1. You hate us hipster flu latecomers, don’t you?

        1. You just have the flu ironically, don’t you!!!!

          1. is it just me or does the entire “hipster” movement really not understand irony?…at all

            1. isn’t it ironic?

              1. *golf clap*

                +1 black fly in chardonnay

        2. Almanian, you go on Tamiflu when symptoms appeared? Anti-virals are pretty solid.

          1. Tamiflu for the win!

    3. Pro tip: skip the flu shot and buy yourself a bottle of vitamin d-3. I haven’t had a case of the flu in 25 years.

    4. I’ve never been able to explain this but back about twenty years ago I got the worst flu of my life: Black bile vomiting, dizziness so bad that I had to crawl around the house.

      After that incident I’ve never had the flu since.

      Less people with the flu around me? My son certainly seems less sick than I was at the same age. The flu shot – which I don’t get – stopping outbreaks?

      1. The flu actually killed you twenty years ago. What you are experiencing now is a dream in death.

          1. You thought you were going to get the dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

            1. Unlike the president, you’d have to be a real genius to have that kind of dream.

      2. I’ve had a flu shot 3 times (pushed my my nurse wife). I’ve then ended up in the emergency room getting IV fluids and any medicine they can get thru an IV tube. After spending 12 hours in the ER last time I swore I would never have another flu shot. Haven’t had the flu shot for 7 or 8 years. Amazingly I haven’t been rushed to the ER puking my guts out. No flu either.

  18. Journalism dean: Free speech doesn’t protect offensive images of Mohammad

    DeWayne Wickham, dean and distinguished professor of journalism at Morgan State University, published an editorial this week in USA Today that essentially argues free speech rights should not and do not give people the right to make fun of Mohammad.

    He argues that Charlie Hebdo, in its latest cartoon image of Mohammed, has “gone too far.” The “offensive depiction of Mohammed” should not constitute free speech, the journalism professor suggested.

    The College Fix reached out to Wickham via email to confirm whether he was suggesting that the First Amendment does not protect insulting Mohammad. He replied that interpretation was incorrect but did not elaborate, nor respond to follow-up emails.

    1. I read this awesome column from Jonah Goldberg this morning, and here is the relevant quote from it regarding offensiveness double standards:

      Israel vs. the Mob

      Nearly every conversation about the Charlie Hebdo cartoons makes reference to the fact that there are 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide, as if there’s an obvious correlation between the number offended and the nature of the offense. This is less about manners and more about power worship. A musical mocking Mormons (15 million worldwide) has been a smash hit on Broadway for years. Yet according to many of the same people who leap to defend Muslim sensibilities on cable TV, defending Mormon sensibilities marks you as a rube.

      1. That is because they don’t care about free speech. They care about identity. Muslims are considered to be an oppressed group, Mormons, Christians and Jews are not. The rule for them is not “people should be have the freedom to criticize religion or say what they like”. To them the rule is “no one has a right to criticize oppressed groups and everyone has the right to criticize non oppressed, and by implication oppressor, groups.” To them the world is bipolar between the oppressed and the oppressor. The oppressed are never to be criticized or taken to task and the oppressor should always and forever be.

        When you understand that, you see why they claim the things they do.

        1. They also don’t know what oppression is and are constantly making idiotic judgment calls.

          Muslims in Europe are driving out the Jews, often with actual violence. The Jews are therefore the ‘oppressed’ and a whole lot of Muslims are behaving as ‘oppressors.’

          Meanwhile, the places where Muslims are the most oppressed are the places where they’re being oppressed by other Muslims. A Muslim is more oppressed in Iran than in France, so it’s ridiculous to claim the French are being oppressive when the existence of liberal democracies like France are actually saving Muslims from the oppression of their homelands.

      2. And as an aside… when I saw Book of Mormon the biggest advertiser in the program was the Mormon church.

        1. Same here, and the theatre was ringed with earnest, cute young Mormon missionaries. Both the show and the church got huge publicity boosts from one another.

        2. I haven’t seen it but from what I read they’re not making fun of Mormons, are they?

          1. They kinda are but what I got out of it is all religions tend to be fantastical.

          2. It’s Stone and Parker (the “Southpark”) guys. They do poke a bit of fun at the more ridiculous beliefs of Mormonism, but do not demonize them. I think the best summation was Andrew Sullivan who said described their view of Mormons as “nice people with odd beliefs.”

            1. I’ve seen it. It is fantastic. It completely eviscerates the Mormon church in beliefs and practices. The song “I Believe” is wonderfully illustrative of this.

              It also is a love letter to the Mormon people. The show absolutely loves the people and is not mean toward them in any sense. It is a fairly unique take – at least one that I haven’t seen anywhere else. Usually a writer will demonize both the people and the belief system, but not Stone and Parker.

              The South Park episode on Mormons had the same take. They took the very difficult task of ripping the Mormon faith for an entire episode – and then turning it around on you and smacking you in the head for worrying about someone else’s religion. Really genius stuff.

    2. I bet he also thinks ‘press’ in 1A means a credentialed, professional journalist.

    3. I think DeWayne Wickham needs to realize that his speech is offensive to the First Amendment, which millions of people have a strong fondness for.

    1. There’s always a slide with cats on.

    2. Those are awesome.

  19. Jonah Goldberg: A Tedious, Recycled State of the Union
    Six years later, Obama’s still reading from the same tired script.

    His admirers see his speeches as ornate cathedrals of rhetoric when they are more like the kitsch from a TGI Friday’s, recycling old license plates and “gone fishin'” signs for that “authentic” feel. And just as every TGI Friday’s pretends it’s unique by adding a few bits of “flair” to the servers’ suspenders, what they dish out is always the same warmed-over swill drenched in cheesiness. So it is with Obama’s speeches.

    Likewise with his policies. Before the financial crisis, Obama ran on “investing” in education, health care, renewable energy, infrastructure, and so on. After the financial crisis hit, presumably our needs changed, but not Obama’s agenda. Suddenly, what America needed to do to respond to the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression was to again “invest” in education, health care, renewable energy, and infrastructure. And now that the “shadow of crisis has passed,” as he announced on Tuesday, the same investments are needed. Why? Because he said it before, of course.

    1. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

      1. No no! It should be “you know who else made people wear pieces of flair?”

        1. I quoted the movie exactly (well, I think, I copy pasta’d from imdb)

          1. I give Goldberg bonus Office Space points.

          2. Aw, I wanted the game, not an accurate movie quote!

            1. (sigh) You know who else wanted the game?

      2. No rhyming!

    2. warmed-over swill drenched in cheesiness

      Hey! I made that for dinner last night! It was good!

      1. If you cook it in the oven and season it right, it is not bad, though it makes for a better meal than it does a speech.

    3. It is outrageous — and should be actionably libelous — to compare TGI Friday’s culinary offerings to the content of an Obama speech.

      The cheesiest TGI Friday menu offering is a 9-course Michelin 3 Star meal compared to the content of an Obama speech.

  20. http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..satirists/

    This is a good takedown of France’s hypocrisy wrt satire. However, this part is misleading wrt Progressive champion Oliver Wendell Holmes’ position on the 1A:

    In World War I, the United States made it a crime to speak out against the war, and punished pacifists and communists who did no more than publish leaflets objecting to the war. The most famous victim of that law, Eugene Debs, the head of the Socialist Party of America, was sentenced to 10 years in prison for praising the courage of draft resisters. These reactions are understandable. As Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. once wrote: “Persecution for the expression of opinions seems to me perfectly logical. If you have no doubt of your premises or your power, and want a certain result with all your heart, you naturally express your wishes in law, and sweep away all opposition.” But Holmes was speaking ironically. The passage comes from his dissent in a case penalizing anti-war speakers, widely seen as the foundation of free speech jurisprudence in the United States today.

    Uhhhhhhhhh.. Holmes penned the MAJORITY OPINION in Debs v United States which affirmed Debs’ conviction, prison sentence, and loss of citizenship for his speech.

    1. que unaware article that ponders the decline of print publications.

      1. cue the english-spanish dictionary.

          1. Queue the line for the dictionary

    2. Remember Raston, journalism should be left to the professionals who can be depended upon to get the facts right, not us amateurs.

      1. The writer’s a law professor. I’m completely stumped by how misleading it is.

        “in a case penalizing anti-war speakers, widely seen as the foundation of free speech jurisprudence in the United States today.”

        That fits Debs and Schenck (which is not named in the passage). Schenck gave us “you can’t shout ‘fire’ in a crowded theatre.” Holmes also wrote the majority opinion in Schenck affirming conviction for passing out anti-war leaflets.

        I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

        1. The orange marsupial playing checkers by herself on your shoulder is real.

          Just don’t look into the mirror being held up by the slithy toves and you’ll be fine by brillig.

        2. The writer’s a law professor. I’m completely stumped by how misleading it is

          I am not stumped. He just lied. There is no way that he made a mistake like that.

        3. What’s terrible about Holmes is that he was consistently wrong on all the most important issues, but he was STILL one of the best Supreme Court Justices serving at the time.

          Example: The reason the Schenck case came before the Supreme Court is because there was another, even worse case regarding free speech where someone was jailed for basically saying ‘I think this war is immoral.’ Holmes was not going to affirm that conviction, and the chief justice at the time wanted a unanimous decision regarding draft law.

          So instead he granted cert for the Schenck case because in Schenck people were arrested for urging people to ignore their draft notices. He knew he could get Holmes on board with finding against them.

          As a result, the terrible Schenck decision actually would have been an EVEN MORE TERRIBLE free speech decision were it not for the fact that Holmes was slightly less crazy than his contemporaries.

          1. Thanks for the history.

            1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S…..ted_States

              Relevant info is this:

              “Rather than proceed in the face of Holmes’s biting dissent, Chief Justice Edward Douglass White set the case aside and word of the situation evidently reached the Administration, because the prosecution was abandoned. White then asked Holmes to write the opinion for a unanimous Court in the next case, one in which they could agree, Schenck v. United States. Holmes wrote that opinion, and wrote again for a unanimous court upholding convictions in two more cases that spring, Frohwerk v. United States and Debs v. United States, establishing what remains the standard for deciding the constitutionality of criminal convictions based on expressive behavior.”

    3. The USSC was unanimous in Debs v. United States (1918). However, the quote is from Holmes’ dissent in Abrams v. United States (1919).

      The two cases really are different. Debs simply made a political speech wherein he opposed Wilson’s entry into the war and praised those who resisted the draft. The Abrams defendants published material that explicitly incited others to insurrection:

      “in order to save the Russian revolution, we must keep the armies of the allied countries busy at home …
      to create so great a disturbance that the autocrats of America shall be compelled to keep their armies at home, and not be able to spare any for Russia.
      If they will use arms against the Russian people to enforce their standard of order, so will we use arms, and they shall never see the ruin of the Russian Revolution.”

      Curiously, Holmes condemned Debs, but would have excused the Bolsheviks.

      1. well now you’ve gone and made my head explode.

    4. Interesting that the sign can be read as “Freedom of the press has no price.” or “Freedom of the press has no prize.”

  21. A speedrunner just set a new world record for beating Super Mario World. The play-through, which exploits a glitch, only takes 5 minutes and is nothing short of incredible.

    I am not going to bother watching someone play a video game. Can anyone explain why I (or anyone) should care or why it would be incredible?

    1. Millenials get it.

      1. “Gen X” gets it more than “millenials”. Gamers of today are the natural evolution of the truly dedicated, 16 bit coveting Gen X that started with the Atari. They see this and think “DAMN THAT TOOK DAYS!” (as an aside FFVII took me 80 hours in college to beat on first run through but I admit to always searching every nook and cranny). Millenials have way more choices and couldn’t care less about Super NES (except in a hipster way).

      2. You’ve outed me.

  22. Here’s my take on Ballghazi:

    (1) Underinflated balls are generally considered to be an advantage, and Brady is on tape saying he prefers them that way.

    (2) Each team has its own set of balls for its offense, of which it has possession and control the entire game.

    (3) Only one set of balls was underinflated, so its not like the error was made “upstream” of the Patriots.

    (4) If you were going to deflate balls intentionally, you would leave one fully inflated for the kicker, which seems to have been the pattern.

    (5) The Pats have a history of cheating.

    Put that in front of a civil jury, and they return a cheating verdict 8 times out of 10. IMO.

    Unless someone inside the Pats organization cracks, though, we won’t know who ordered/suggested it. So, should the NFL just shrug and not sanction anyone, or should it sanction both Brady and Belichick? What’s the right sanction for cheating in a championship game?

    1. Someone compared it to Nixon cheating vs. McGovern. It was overkill, and unnecessary, but so much part of his character he just couldn’t help it.

    2. quit othering the niche market of artisinally designed pigskins.

    3. There are two possibilities, accident or intentional underinflation.

      The accidental could be something like a bad gauge. It’s not very likely, but I can’t deny the possibility out of hand without knowing what the process is for getting a ball from a store-room to the field.

      Now if it is intentional, there is no way that the quarterback is not involved. It appears that the quarterback is intimately involved in setting up the balls. I would think a ball handler would not dare to unilaterally reduce the pressure without checking with the quarterback.

      1. Take away the No.1 pick for the Pats for the next 5 years. There’s no way you can do anything about the game that was played. But five #1 picks would sting sufficiently, I think, to be a good deterrent.

        1. Taking away draft picks doesnt hurt the Pats. It does hurt a college kid who ends up going undrafted.

            1. But if you’re really concerned about Mr. Irrelevant, give the Pats an extra pick in the 6th round each year.

        2. I think they sould be banned from post-season play the next two seasons. Or at the very least, one.

      2. I think what happened was the equipment managers knew what Brady liked and deflated the balls without telling him. That way both he and Belicheck could honestly say they had no idea what happened.

        There was no reason for either of them to know about this. Indeed, you wouldn’t want them too. The Patriots are smart enough to understand that and it was all done with a nudge and a wink.

        Brady threw the balls. He had to have noticed they were under inflated. And he is a 15 year veteran and the person who lobbied for teams to be able to use their own footballs on offense. So, he knows the balls are inspected and would have never passed inspection under inflated. As soon as he picked up one of those footballs he had to have known one of the Patriots’ people had deflated them after the inspection.

        1. You don’t need to deflate them.

          The rule is stupid because it is ignorant of basic physics. It assumes that the pressure inside the ball will only change if you add or remove air. Something which is just not true. You can manipulate the air pressure just as easily with temperature changes.

          a 50 degree change in temperature would result in roughly a 16% change in air pressure within the ball.

          So take the ball outside and inflate it to the level you want it at for the game. Which in this case is about 11 PSI. Bring it inside and set it in the Sauna till the balls get up to about 120 degrees Farenheit. Then take them straight to the refs at the last minute you are required to.

          By the time the refs get around to measuring them the balls are somewhere between 90 and 100 degrees and 12.5 and 12.75 PSI and other than feeling a bit warm pass inspection.

          Then once the balls fall back to the ambient outside air temperature they are back down to ~11 PSI and then as the air gets colder and some air leaks out naturally through use the balls end up around the 10 PSI level they were tested at.

          1. I don’t think the pressure on that small of a volume of air would vary that much over the range of temperatures you mention.

            It is not a dumb rule. Have you ever played or thrown a football? I did for my entire youth. Never once did I notice the pressure in a ball go down because of a change in temperature. I have aired a football up in August and if it was new had it still be hard as a rock in December even though I hadn’t added any air.

            1. You can manipulate the air pressure just as easily with temperature changes.

              The NFL measures the ball weight, which does not fluctuate with temperature.

              1. What about gravity? Buoyancy? Both of those change with elevation and ambient air pressure…so THERE!

                /1 yatto gram and 1 pico pascal

              2. I would be interested to know the wait difference between a football inflated to 12.5 psi and one inflated to 11.5 psi. I would venture a guess that it would be undetectable. And if it is delectable it is easily overcome by changing the composition of the gas put in the football.

                1. wait difference

                  It is close to doing the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.

            2. In this case volume is irrelevant. Ball volume is going to only change very slightly between the two conditions he defined. So pressure will be primarily decided by temperature.

          2. So why weren’t the other team’s balls also underinflated, if it happened due to temperature changes?

            1. You’re missing what I am saying.

              I am not saying the pats balls were underinflated because of cold air.

              I am saying that the idea that someone would risk getting caught on camera sticking a needle in a ball to drain air out of it on the sideline is stupid. There are easier ways to manipulate the pressure.

              IF I were the Pats equipment manager and I knew Brady liked the ball a little under inflated I would as a matter of routine procedure HEAT UP THE BALL right before I took it to the Refs.

              This would have the effect of increasing the pressure for the pressure check and leaving it a little under inflated during the game.

              If the Colts equipment manager did not do the same thing for whatever reason then their balls would have experienced significantly less cooling (going only from ~70 to ~50 on the day in question) and therefore have remained within the 12.5 – 13.5 PSI range.

              What is more, this might not even be against the rules since the rule seems to only require that they pass the pressure check 2:15 before game time

              1. You think the official wouldn’t notice a hot ball?

          3. Who invited Professor Boyle to the party?…

            And screw Tom Brady

          4. Gay-Lussac’s law: P1/T1 = P2/T2

            Let’s say the balls were inflated to the low-but-legal level of 12.5 psi. Let’s also say the balls had been overnight in a room heated to 70 F. That’s your P1 and T1.

            Balls are tested, and measured at 12.5. They are then moved outside, where they’re used for pre-game warmups. By game time, they’ve cooled to Foxboro’s mild 51 F afternoon temperature. That’s your T2.

            Do the math. Even if they’re not chilled to ambient temperature by game time, they only need to have cooled to 59 F to have lost 2 psi.

            1. No true Chin,

              Let’s assume that each ball was inflated to the minimum pressure required to meet the NFL rules regarding proper inflation: 12.5 psi. We convert psi (English) to pascals (Metric), which comes out to 86,184.5 Pa and assume a room temperature of 68?F (20?C) which converts to 293.15 K (Kelvin, the Metric equivalent). We now have,

              (86,184.5 Pa + 100950.0 Pa) / 293.15 K = (p2 + 100950.0 Pa) / T2.

              We’re down to two variables. But we also know the temperature on the field at the start of the game was reported as 51?F/10.6?C (283.15 K). Plug it in…

              (86,184.5 Pa + 100950.0 Pa) / 293.15 K = (p2 + 100950.0 Pa) / 283.15 K

              Neat! Look, we’re left with a solvable equation with one variable, p2, which is the pressure of the air inside the ball at game time! Let’s solve this riddle…

              Isolate the lone variable:

              {[(86,184.5 Pa + 100950.0 Pa) / 293.15 K] * 283.15 K} – 100950.0 Pa = p2

              79,800.9 Pa = p2 — 11.8 psi

              83,244.6 Pa is 11.8 psi, so, according to these calculations, the balls could have been under-inflated by 0.7 psi on the field, just due to the change in temperature from inside to outside. This makes sense given the very first equation, which shows that a decrease in temperature would force a decrease in pressure, assuming the same volume of air in the football.


              1. And if one team heated the ball up to 320K (warm but not uncomfortable to the touch) just prior to the check in then their balls would have cooled (and therefore deflated) significantly more than the others

                1. Rasillo,

                  That is 116 degrees F. The refs would have noticed that and let the balls cool down. And apparently they weigh the balls. The deflated balls didn’t just have too little pressure, they didn’t weigh enough.

                  Someone deflated the balls after they were inspected. There is no other explanation. Temps didn’t cause it. And further, if they did, why not all 12 instead of just 11? And why not the Colts’ balls?

                  1. I didn’t say they wouldn’t notice.

                    However there is no guarantee that they would care. Unless they knew the basic science which even you were ignorant of they would not have known about the relationship between temperature and pressure and the ONLY check they do is a pressure check (they do not weigh the balls).

                    Has anyone asked the ref if the Pats balls were warm when he inspected them (that sounds so dirty)? It does not seem like it since everyone is assuming that someone intentionally let air out.

                    As far as the balls being a little under weight, that is irrelevant. All that indicates is they had less air in them, it doesn’t tell us why there is less air there.

                    Why not the Colts balls? Simple, the Colts for whatever reason did not heat the balls up.

                    Now the question of why 11 and not all 12 is a tough one to answer in any explanation. If someone was intentionally draining air on the sidelines why did they only get 11 of the balls? That said I do have a possible explanation…

                    That 12th ball was the last one pressure checked and had cooled more than the others and therefore fallen below the target range. The ref then pumped more air into the ball, to reinflate it back to 13psi but the new air rapidly cooled the rest of the air inside the ball and so as a result ended up being inflated to 13psi at very close to ambient room temperature

                    1. Has anyone asked the ref if the Pats balls were warm when he inspected them (that sounds so dirty)? It does not seem like it since everyone is assuming that someone intentionally let air out.

                      Considering that this is the most covered issue in sports right now, it is very likley that if the balls had been warm, we would know about it.

                      Again, even if the refs didn’t care, which is very unlikely, they certainly would remember it. And there is no way that information wouldn’t have gotten out by now. If the balls were hot to the touch, it would be a very big deal and would show conclusively the Patriots were cheating. But there is no information showing they were.

                      And again, I find it totally unbelievable that the refs would have not noticed the balls were hot.

                      Lastly, it is not enough to get the balls warm. You would have to keep them warm until the refs inspect the balls. And you couldn’t just take them out of the Sauna to let the refs inspected them. That would blow the cheat. So the balls would have to sit out cooling in the ambient air while you took them to be inspected and anytime the refs spent having you wait before you got around to doing it. Those balls are going to cool down pretty fast. It is very unlikely you could pull such a scheme off.

                    2. Except the ball check happens at a very specific time.

                      By rule the balls must be delivered to the refs by 2 hours and 15 minutes prior to game time and the pressure check occurs then.

                      Obviously there would be some variability in how quickly they got through the task, especially given they have 48 balls to check but it is highly likely that they would stay above 12.5 psi for well more than a half hour

    4. I think, at worst, all this does is put an asterix next to all the Patriots’ wins. Never trust someone with a Brady-level punchable face.

      Ultimately, beer and women exist, so that’s cool. What the hell is football anyway?

      1. “What the hell is football anyway?”

        An excuse for beer and junk food?

    5. I said on the other thread that this is nothing but karmic payback. It was Brady and the Patriots who lobbied the league to let each team bring its own balls to be used when it was on offense. Changing that rule and no longer having the league provide the balls was a stupid move on the NFL’s part. Once you let teams bring their own footballs and tailor their feel to their quarterback’s preferences, it was inevitable someone would go over the line and use balls that didn’t meet league rules. And life being what it is, it was of course the Patriots and in the playoffs.

      If nothing else comes out of this, the league needs to go back to it providing the balls. That way this issue can never happen again. The quarterbacks are professionals. They should be able to cope with a ball that isn’t buffed quite to their liking.

    6. Why wouldn’t the NFL just punish the Patriots like they punished the other two teams that were caught manipulating balls during games (Panthers, Vikings), i.e., with a $25K fine?

      This is the most retarded sports-related scandal I can remember.

      1. Because it is the Patriots and they have a history of breaking the rules. Also, Goddell suspended Sean Payton for an entire year saying that as the head coach “ignorance was no excuse” for him not stopping Greg Williams from putting out bounties.

        Godell is a moron. He is an idiot son of a Senator who has spent his entire career as a yes man for the league. He has no business being commissioner. If he hadn’t shot his mouth off and gone after Sean Payton the way he did, it wouldn’t be so difficult to give the $25K fine and move on. The guy never thinks ahead or about anything beyond what is going to get him through tomorrow’s news cycle and constantly paints himself into a corner.

        1. Agreed about Goodell.

          The whole “cheating” accusation is just retarded. Multiple teams have been caught videotaping signals, cheating the salary cap, manipulating balls, taping team walkthroughs, etc., but no one cares about that.

          The Patriots have become the BUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHH! of the sports world.

          1. People care about the Patriots because they win. The other problem is that Godell seems to not understand that perception is as important as reality. One of the reasons why people obsess about the Patriots so much is that Godell is so publicly tight with Robert Kraft. The perception is that Godell is in Kraft’s pocket. Godell should never be seen to be that close to any owner if he wants to make decisions like that. I don’t care how fair he is to the Patriots his connections to Kraft will always cause some people to think he is playing favorites.

            You are right that this is being way overblown. But, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. If I am Godell, I would want to hammer the Patriots for the crime of being stupid and bush league. If they had just followed the rules and not tried this stunt, there wouldn’t be any issues. They are the Patriots. They have to understand there is a target on their backs and be smarter than this.

            1. The Patriots are the Miami Heat of football. Therefore, it just plays into the narrative when they’re found cheating.

    7. I posted this in another thread (thanks Rico Suave):


    8. One thing I don’t get is why everyone is so insistent that air was let out of the balls.

      If I was the Pats equiptment manager and I knew Brady liked the ball a little under inflated and I knew that the balls would be checked at a precise time (2 hours and 15 minutes before kickoff) it would be a trivially easy task to simply inflate the balls to the level Brady wants them at then heat them up by sticking them in the Sauna for a little while before I brought them to the Refs.

      The balls would heat up which would increase the air pressure and then as the balls slowly cooled it would go back down to where he wanted it and the only thing the ref would notice is the ball would feel a little warm.

      So in this case, inflate the ball to 11.5 PSI at 50 degrees (outside ambient temperature that day), Then bring the balls inside and let them sit in a 110 degree sauna for an hour. That will raise the air pressure up to around 13.2 PSI. Sitting in a 72 degree room it would take probably half an hour to 45 minutes for them to cool enough to drop the pressure below the 12.5 PSI minimum giving the refs plenty of time to certify then by the middle of te first quarter at the latest the balls will be back down to 50 degrees and ~11.5 PSI.

      Nobody lets air out of the balls and depending on exactly how the rule is written it might not even be illegal.

      1. I don’t think there is enough air in the balls to be able to do that. Yes, heating the balls would increase the air pressure. Since there isn’t that much air in a football, I don’t think putting them in a sauna would be enough heat to increase the air pressure by two pounds. The pressure is a product of heat and mass. If the smaller the mass the more heat it takes to increase the pressure. I don’t think there is anyway you could increase the pressure in a football that much without setting the leather on fire.

        1. The quantity of air is irrelevant. It is a basic fundamental principal.

          If you hold volume and mass constant then Pressure will increase or decrease in direct proportion to each other.

          Since the temperature that matters is absolute temperature the ratio is easy to calculate.

          Given that the volume of the ball will remain basically the same throughout the range we are talking about (if you fell below 7 or 8 PSI then it would measurably shrink) the the volume of air is constant it becomes easy to manipulate the pressure with temperature.

          1. If you hold volume and mass constant then Pressure will increase or decrease in direct proportion to each other.

            Okay. But I don’t think you can increase air pressure by 2 pounds per square inch without increasing the temperature a lot more than even 50 or 60 degrees.

            Here is someone who did the calculations.

            If we use an indoor temperature of 80?, we would get a final pressure of 11.0 (10.99) psi. Using a 90? indoor temperature, we get a final pressure of 10.5 psi.

            So, according to NFL reports, either the indoor temperature when the footballs were inflated was around 90?F, or something else happened after the footballs were inspected.

            The question then becomes why this hasn’t been an issue of this magnitude before, especially in games played at colder weather stadiums like Lambeau Field or Soldier Field? No one complained about the ball when the Giants squared off against the Packers at Lambeau in January of 2008, when the game time temperature was -1?F


            1. If we use an indoor temperature of 80?, we would get a final pressure of 11.0 (10.99) psi. Using a 90? indoor temperature, we get a final pressure of 10.5 psi.

              That right there is the key. Heat the ball up past 90 degrees. The indoor ambient temperature is not what matters, the temperature of the gas inside the ball is what matters.

              Literally stick the damned things in the Sauna (which are usually heated to around 110 – 120 degrees) for an hour and then bring them to the refs, yeah they will be shrinking and deflating as they cool to the ambient room temperature but since the pressure check happens at a specific time they will measure in the required range for a significant amount of time and by game time be back down to the 10 – 11 PSI range Brady prefers.

              1. That would only work if the refs didn’t notice or care that the balls were warm. That seems unlikely and they would certainly remember if they were. Yet, there has been no reports of that being the case.

                Is it possible to do what you say? Sure. But it also possible to just deflate the balls. There is no evidence that they heated the balls. So, there is no reason to believe that they did.

                Occam’s razor. Which is more likely that they broke out their freshman physics book and went to the section on thermodynamics and came up with your scheme or thy just took a needle and deflated the damned things?

                Seriously, which is more likely. The latter and by an enormous margin.

                1. Actually I think the former is more likely because it is not specifically against the rules

                  1. Actually I think the former is more likely because it is not specifically against the rules

                    That is a good point and shows that we know for certain this is not what happened. Why? Because if the plan was to do this because it deflated the balls and didn’t violate the rules, the Patriots wouldn’t be denying anything. The whole point of doing it instead of just deflating the balls would be so that you could point out how you were not breaking the rules if you got caught. Yet, the Patriots are not doing that. They are denying everything.

                    If they had done what you claim, they would be admitting to doing it and explaining how what they did was within the rules. So it seems to me that given the Patriots’ reaction, it is certain this is not what happened.

        2. One other thing I am surprised no one has looked into.

          What gas are they inflating the balls with?

          A Quarterback can throw the ball a little further if you inflate it with Nitrogen rather than Air and it will go further still if they inflate it with Helium or mix of gasses that includes Helium

          1. See my link above. The guy did the calculations and concluded it is very unlikely change in temperature could have caused this.

          2. You sure about that? The ball’d be more buoyant, but also you wouldn’t be able to impart as much momentum to it to cut thru the air.

        3. That is nonsense scientifically speaking.

          PV = nRT

          V, n and R are contant, then P varies proportionally with T.

          Ball has to be 12.5 psi minimum. Let’s say they get that inside at 72F, then go outside to 48F (gameday condition). In absolute temperature scales, this is a drop of 4.51%. Therefore the drop in pressure will be .56psi for a 12.5psi starting ball or .59psi for a 13psi starting ball. Enough in that range to make the ball illegal.

          1. But the balls were 2 lbs under. They dropped all the way to 10.5. Pretty hard to get there with temperature.

            Also, someone points out above that the NFL measures the weight of the ball, which of course doesn’t change with temperature. The ball is supposed to weigh so much meaning it has enough air to be properly inflated even in cold temps. The problem was not only did the balls have a low PSI, they weighed less. The air didn’t suddenly weigh less. There was less air because they had been deflated.

            1. Sounds like a legit cheat then. I was just responding to your “I don’t think there is enough air in the balls to be able to do that.” I get a little jumpy about science when the coffee starts kicking in. Thanks for the clarification.

            2. You are not listening.

              I am saying the “CHEAT” was to HEAT THE BALLS UP

              It becomes VERY easy to get a 2 PSI change in pressure if you heat the damn thing up right before check in. It is only hard if you assume the balls are at room temperature which is not necessarily true.

              1. And there is no evidence of that being the case. If that was the cheat the balls would have been noticeably warmer when the refs inspected them. That is something they would have noticed and remembered. But there hasn’t been a single report of that.

                I seriously doubt anyone with the Patriots is knowledgeable about thermodynamics to think up your scheme. And even if they had, the refs would have caught it. That is not what happened. They just deflated the balls.

                1. And if they weigh the balls then all the arguing over temp charges is pointless. The balls didn’t weight enough. Well, 11 of 12 didn’t.

                  1. Yeah but they don’t weigh the balls before gametime. They just check the inflation pressure

            3. The air in the ball is less than 1 atm over outside pressure. That’s means the air is only about 1% of ball weight. If you change the absolute air pressure by 5% (10% relative) then you only reduce the weight of the ball by about 0.002 grams. No way the officials are measuring with that precision on the field. The ball weight is a different issue here.

              But this leads us back to something Rasilio said earlier about using something other than air in the ball. If you filled it with helium you could get near game pressure while decreasing the ball weight by several grams. This doesn’t address the pressure issue though, which is separate as discussed above.

    9. What I feel much of the coverage is missing is that this is the thing they got caught doing. If they really look for impermissible edges, what are the odds?

      What’s crazy is that even if the Patriots were caught doing something really flagrant, they’d still get to play in the Super Bowl. Because the NFL has the testicles of a woman.

      1. Yeah. If I were the Patriots, I really wouldn’t care if people whined and claimed it didn’t count if I won a Super Bowl. I would take my cash and my ring and not care.

        1. And that’s exactly how this will come out. Reminding one of:

          You get more of what you reward, and less of what you punish.

    10. “(4) If you were going to deflate balls intentionally, you would leave one fully inflated for the kicker, which seems to have been the pattern.”

      Ok, how can you be at this point an still not know that Kickers do not use the same ball as the offense.

      There are a seperate set of Kicker balls that are actually kept in the refs control until just before they are used.

      1. If they keep the kicker balls under the refs’ control, why not all the balls? The NFL is just retarded sometimes.

      2. Fair point. Delete number (4), and reduce the odds of a jury finding to merely 75%.

      3. They’re not in the ref’s control. There is a separate ball boy for kicking balls for each team. The regular ball boy has an orange X on his shirt, the kicking ball boy an orange K.

  23. President Obama credited politicians with inventing college?an ahistorical remark that nevertheless explains why college is so worthless.

    The smartest man in America. He’s a motherfucking GENIUS, he is.

    Repeal the 22nd Amendment.

    1. Don’t insult his intelligence, man. He’s got a JD from an Ivy League and was a Constitutional Law Professor!

      Every word that comes out of his mouth is divine. You obviously don’t get it because you don’t believe in his divinity.

    2. FTFA:

      Mota, the interviewer, has an A?ropostale clothing line and was on “Dancing With the Stars” thanks to her YouTube fame

      Maybe we really are decadent infidels.

    3. No matter how you define college or university, that’s a ridiculous remark. There’s an argument that the modern institution was more or less created by the Catholic church, which, while political, wasn’t composed of politicians in the modern sense.

      1. I skimmed the article and it makes his historical understanding even worse. He cites the Land Grant Act. Even if you argue that “created” universities, it disses about 800 years of European & Arab history.

        Of the earliest American colleges two – Harvard and W&M – were created by legislatures but almost all the rest of the colonial universities were formed by religious groups.


    EXCLUSIVE: Marco Rubio Moves Toward 2016 Presidential Bid

    Sen. Marco Rubio has begun taking concrete steps toward launching a presidential bid, asking his top advisors to prepare for a campaign, signing on a leading Republican fundraiser, and planning extensive travel to early-voting states in the coming weeks, ABC News has learned.

    “He has told us to proceed as if he is running for president,” a senior Rubio advisor tells ABC News.

    warning: Autostart vid

  25. Sarah Culhane is white. Michael Brown is dead.

    On August 9, 2014, in Ferguson, Missouri, 18-year-old unarmed African-American Michael Brown was shot and killed by officer Darren Wilson after an altercation with Wilson as he sat in his police cruiser. Witness accounts vary, but what is known is that before encountering Wilson, Brown reportedly stole some cigarillos from a local store, As Brown and a friend walked down the middle of the street towards home, they were told to get on the sidewalk by Wilson which eventually led to a scuffle in which Brown was shot once by Wilson, Brown then began quickly walking away. Wilson left his cruiser and fired his weapon eleven more times, hitting Brown who had turned towards the officer, five more times and killing him.

    Some witnesses report that the unarmed Brown has his hands up in surrender as officer Wilson shot him.

    Lovely. I like the weasel wording.

    1. Note how there’s no “allegedly” or “reportedly assaulted the store clerk”, or any mention of it at all, because it was undeniably caught on camera and thus a bit hard to deny.

      It would fuck up the narrative, though, which is obviously why it wasn’t mentioned at all.

        1. A good sum up quote:

          Pardon me, I’m certainly not the only one, nor am I the person who brought it up in the first place. The photos simply do not exhibit the similarities you indicate. You need glasses. Nor is this an issue that was made up on WP. It’s out there in the real world. You’re going to great lengths to ignore the obvious. Also, your above-stated argument, that, essentially, the obvious misrepresentation here is not as bad as it was in the Trayvon Martin case, is stunning. Centrify (f / k / a FCAYS) (talk) (contribs) 21:16, 6 January 2015 (UTC)

          1. Hahaha, the surveillance camera footage isn’t even present on the Wikipedia page. You’d think that would be relevant, but, hey, here’s a photo of some protesters with a “HANDS UP DON’T SHOOT” sign plus other shots of police and more protesters.

            I don’t feel like combing through the edit history right now but I have a sneaking suspicion that it may have been added and then nuked. Just a hunch.

  26. Cliche Bandit, following Raven Nation’s elegant explanation elsewhere, this is for you

  27. The death of Saudi King Abdullah has made Queen Elizabeth the world’s oldest monarch.

    Monarch = Welfare Queen.

  28. Inequality isn’t inevitable, it’s engineered. That’s how the 1% have taken over

    The rich, via lobbyists and Byzantine tax arrangements, actively work to stop redistribution. Inequality is not inevitable, it’s engineered.

    So close. It’s agonizing to see it. Like a little kid missing the tee ball by a few centimeters.

    1. I love how they fail to see that the more power their vaunted impartial government has, the more the perceived disparity has increased. Hilarious.

      1. I find it almost physically painful. They have all the evidence, they agree about exactly what is happening.

        But their solution is to do more of it.

        1. The rich, via lobbyists and Byzantine tax arrangements…

          So close. So very, very close…

          …actively work to stop redistribution.

          And, you failed.

        2. Well, that’s because it “feels right” to them. It “feels right” to take from the rich and give to the poor.

          Fuck Feelings. These idiots always forget that Robin Hood was transferring ill-gotten taxes back to the people forced to pay them at the point of a sword like the mewling bat-infested dried-out cunts they are.

    2. It is the result of a plot by bankers, speculators and financiers. You know, Jews.

      Socialism is just antisemitism for intellectuals.

      1. Guess who said:

        “”Auschwitz meant that six million Jews were killed, and thrown on the waste-heap of Europe, for what they were: money Jews. Finance capital and the banks, the hard core of the system of imperialism and capitalism, had turned the hatred of men against money and exploitation, and against the Jews ? Anti-Semitism is really a hatred of capitalism.”

        1. Or who said:

          “Money has made slaves of us.”…”Money is the curse of mankind. It smothers the seed of everything great and good. Every penny is sticky with sweat and blood.”

        2. I give up. Who?

        3. Had to look up the first quote. It’s Ulrike Meinhof, left-wing German terrorist of the 1970s, and namesake of the Baader-Meinhof gang.

          The second was obviously Goebbels.

  29. moot’s retiring from 4chan

    I know none of you have ever visited 4chan…

    1. Good. Fuck that SJW bitch. Though he’ll just be replaced by another one.

      1. I was never a 4chan reader (the site layout is fucking hideous, and I don’t care for anime to say the very least) but I’ve heard nothing but bad about moot.

        1. He’s a tech kiddie from New York, with everything that entails (including a failed startup that blew through 4 million bucks).

        2. He used to be cool. That was before he started trying to bang someone in an SJW clique. Went downhill from there.

          1. Oh god. The exact same thing happened to a number of my friends and one of my brothers. Quite sad to see people change in that way.

            Ah well, Lysistrata endures to this day for a reason.

            1. Sometimes it works the other way too. My dick has created a few libertarians.

              1. My dick has created a few libertarians.

                Fatherhood in a nutshell.

                1. No way in hell. My kids would be proggies just to spite me. At this point in my life, I’d rather get herpes than kids.

          2. It kind of reminds me of a friend who got pulled into Mormonism that way. The parallels to religion are amusing.

  30. The great thing about the Obama “politicians created colleges” gaffe is not the story, but the comments that follow it. One of the commenters immediately compares it to Al Gore’s claim of inventing the internet. Immediately, a TEAM Blue acolyte stands up and cries “Fake! Fake Scandal! Rove! Kochtopus! Faux News! You’re Pathological! And Totes Stoopid!” Another commenter comes along and gives a verbatim quote from Gore, with proper citation and a link to a video of him making the comment. Another TEAM Blue disciple ignores the prior discussion and recites the article of faith. Other commenters proceed to call her an idiot. A third TEAM Blue disciple appears to call them mean and juvenile for calling TEAM Blue disciple No. 2 an idiot (what is more juvenile than not paying attention to the discussion?)

    TEAM Blue members seem to be more vocal in actively denying that certain verifiable events took place. They will also wail and cry if you point out that they are wrong in anything but the gentlest and most sensitive ways.

    1. If I had a dime for every occasion where I heard somebody jerking themselves off over how enlightened they were just before mentioning that Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her house, I could go out and buy myself a nice steak dinner with all the trimmings.

      Also, el oh el, tone arguments are intellectually dishonest horseshit 99% of the time.

      On a semi-related note, I need to spend less time around people in the “permastudents pushing 30” demographic because it’s doing me no good at all.

      1. you still have my favorite handle.

        1. 🙂

          I like it too, and I’ve been tempted to use it in relation to a commercial project; unfortunately that would negate the point of me taking it up in the first place, which was not hurting the tender feelings of friends, acquaintances, and prospective future employers if I got Googled.

    2. Immediately, a TEAM Blue acolyte stands up and cries “Fake! Fake Scandal! Rove! Kochtopus! Faux News! You’re Pathological! And Totes Stoopid!”

      Shreeek posts over there too?

  31. That way both he and Belicheck could honestly say they had no idea what happened.

    That is completely nonsensical. There is no fucking way an NFL quarterback would not immediately notice the pressure in the ball was low. The Colts’ fucking linebacker who intercepted one knew it was down.

    1. Actually, the Colts linebacker claims he didn’t know.

      He says he didn’t know anything was wrong. He simply handed the ball to the equipment manager because he wanted to keep it as a souvenir. He said he has no idea why people say he complained about the ball feeling funny, because it didn’t to him; he rarely handles the ball and it felt like just another ball.

    2. Of course he noticed. He had to. But, he can just say “what was I supposed to do about it?” Brady can just say “I have no idea how it got that way and I played with the balls they gave me.”

      At best you are left with accusing him of not standing up and telling the refs the balls were under inflated. That is true. But so what? It is not his job to enforce the rules. Is he supposed to point out missed holding calls on his offensive line too?

      The only way Brady gets in trouble is if it turns out he told someone to do it. He won’t get in trouble for not saying anything as long as he had nothing to do with the balls being that way.

      1. Why would Brady even get in trouble for telling someone to do it? He’s a player, not a coach or general manager. Does he have any official authority over the equipment guys?

        The way I see it only the coach or GM can possibly be held individually accountable for this. Most likely the team as a whole can be punished too.

        1. Doesn’t it really depend on any evidence they find? Maybe a rogue equipment handler or whatever?

          Also – if the balls were inflated to proper pressure indoors and then taken outdoors, that can effect the pressure in the ball, though presumably this has been accounted for?

  32. Hello to all you fuckers. I haven’t been in the office since a week ago Tuesday. Various holidays, “snow” days, and telework schedules conspired to make the last two weeks of work AWESOME (in that I’ve been home). For some reason, I only enjoy commenting here when I’m in Uncle Sam’s building.

    I got public opinion polled on oil exploration in Virginia. I love being an outlier on a poll, but the question were stoopit. Yes, I think job creation is an extremely important issue. But your stoopit question didn’t ask whether or not I thought it was the government’s responsibility to take on this issue.

    One more week til SKIING!

    1. Oh, and the weather forecast for Park City looks like shite.

      I think my Pa and I need to think about Montana or BC/Alberta for next year (though I would love to try CO also).

      1. Park City looks like shite

        Too dry? Too powdery, too fluffy? Yeah, my heart breaks.

        On a related note, if you score a men’s size “L” lime green Park City/John Deere mashup t-shirt (mine fell apart from old age), I’ll trade you for a six-pack of all-grain homebrewed oatmeal stout.

        1. I’ll look, RB!

          The forecast is dry with valley inversions and spring-like temps on the mountain this weekend and early next week. A weird monsoonal flow will bring some precip mid next week, then dry for the foreseeable future after that. Meanwhile, VT keeps piling on the inches.

          1. Awesome!

            Forecast does look very springy.

          2. It’s warm here in Colorado, too, but the mountain is staying cold enough that it’s not getting mashed potato-ey.

          3. C O L O R A D O!

            Don’t like conditions at one mountain? 30 mins. and 120 dollars later you can have ANOTHER mountain. Copper was awesome last week. Some of the best shredding I have seen. 2-3 in. fresh powder on packed with mid 20s temps to keep it good all day. Only downside is it brought out the fucking skiers…making bumps and screwing up my beautiful tree runs. Bastards, don’t they know Copper is for boards.

            1. Just mind your blind spot, CB.

              1. uhhh….faster upslope has responsibility

                damn bump runners.

                1. Yes, you are right. But I have heard boarders disclaim responsibility for their actions because they have a “blind spot”…

                  1. huh…not that i have seen. Collisions are almost always a function of upslope jackassery (ski or board). I have not heard of boarders claiming “Blind Spot” before, and if I did I would call him the fuckstick he is. Your heel edge is just as easy to monitor and IS your responsibility if you are faster than someone else.

                    I have heard a skier claim that a boarder didn’t get out of his way fast enough…that guy got walked off the mountain (not sure if he kept his season pass or not but probably did since Copper’s SPs are pretty lenient).

                    My biggest gripe about boarders is sitting in the middle of the run…I sit, we all sit, but FUCKING MOVE OVER!

      2. Snowed a foot on me last Monday when I was there at the Canyons. Not that you would appreciate that on your groomers. Hope the forecast improves!

      3. KK, if you are a serious skier you should consider Telluride, and…that’s it.

        Southern VT blows this year. December was leading into a promising season but then the Christmas rains came. It’s been a bit firm every since. Thankfully my new carvers are up to the task.

    2. Posting from home deprives you of that “sticking it to the man” aesthetic.

      1. I’m glad we all agree on this.

    3. Hi, KK. Missed you. Hope the ski vacation is fun despite the snow forecast.

  33. I was under the impression the NFL provided the game balls. I did not know the rule had been changed.

    If you wanted to fuck with the “feel” of the ball, you could overinflate it and let it sit, to stretch it a bit. Then, run standard pressure for game time. It’s not like an NFL team can’t afford to “ruin” a few balls in the spirit of scientific inquiry.

    1. There is that. They already rub them down and doctor the leather to make it to the quarterback’s liking. I don’t see how that is any different than changing the inflation.

      It all goes back to how stupid it was for the NFL to stop providing the balls. All letting the teams bring their does is create the potential for one team whining about the other team unfairly doctoring it. Fuck the quarterbacks. Learn how to throw a new, fully inflated football or get a new job.

  34. He said he has no idea why people say he complained about the ball feeling funny, because it didn’t to him; he rarely handles the ball and it felt like just another ball.

    Huh. I only know what I read in the papers.

    Just like You Know Who.

    1. Voldemort?

  35. One more week til SKIING!

    Are you bounding up stairs three at a time, by now?

    1. Ok, do you posts out of thread due to some sort of disability or are you doing it just to spite someone?

      1. He has had a principled stance against threading since it was implemented years ago. Don’t knock a man for his convictions.


  36. We really need to get nuclear power back in the running, as atomic scientists are now moving into the climate change business. (In fact, maybe that’s their entire goal.)

    Doomsday clock moved ahead

    1. They should connect it to the Fed Funds Rate.

  37. my neighbor’s ex-wife makes $62 every hour on the computer . She has been out of work for five months but last month her paycheck was $18411 just working on the computer for a few hours. try this site……..
    ?????? http://www.cashbuzz80.com

  38. C O L O R A D O!

    The only thing I miss about Colorado is skiing Arapahoe Basin in April and May. Spring skiing FTW!

    1. yeeesh
      while nice weather is a plus the slush fest at the bottom turn can be a bitch.

  39. Principle, disability…

    I endeavour to persevere.

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