Culture

Abduction Obsession Means Virginia Hospitals Won't Release 'First Baby of 2015' Names

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Baby
Baby / Wikimedia Commons

It's the first paranoid fantasy of the year!

According to The Richmond-Times Dispatch, three Virginia hospitals will participate in a security-theater safety measure designed to protect children in grave danger from a crime that has never been committed:

In a joint statement released Tuesday, Bon Secours Richmond Health System, HCA Virginia and VCU Medical Center have said they will not announce the first birth of 2015 as a safety precaution and to protect families' privacy.

It's a trend, with more hospitals around the country declining to announce the first baby of the year for similar reasons.

"The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has cautioned against these announcements due to potential risk of abduction or identify theft. While the first birth of the New Year is a celebrated event, we jointly feel we must protect our patients and their children from unnecessary exposure," the joint statement from the local hospitals said.

Emphasis mine. I can find no record of any baby being taken from a hospital because its birth was announced right after midnight on New Year's Eve. But that doesn't stop the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children—funded, in part, by government dollars—from turning a joyous event into one requiring new oversight and worry.

Because new parents just aren't worried enough.