Friday Funnies: Fib and Fibber

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

I ain't afraid of no ghost!

[UnCivilServant]

In that case, I summon the ghost of Senator McCarthy!

'Have you or anyone you've been associated with ever been an avowed socialist, either now or in the past?'

[straffinrun]

Yes, it's true. This man has no penis.

[Will4Freedom]

I thought it was a reference to the dumb and dumber movie.

Whatever. Next he's going to fix our broken legal system by handing the keys to the inmates.

After that, our broken political system by doing away with congress and the senate. Or did he do that first?

[Fist of Etiquette]

YOU THOUGHT WRONG. And Congress did away with itself.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

I think it looks like the movie poster for 'Mother, Jugs, and Speed'.

[WTF]

Obama's next announcement will be to appoint his dog to the Senate.

[DontShootMe]

Before or after he eats his dog?

[WTF]

He may as well eat him first, then just shit him out onto the Senate seat.

[Trials and Trippelations]

Driving on the center line? I guess Massachusetts drivers really are the worst

[Fist of Etiquette]

The bigger question is, which one farted?

[UnCivilServant]

They're not driving on the center line, they're driving above it to symbolize how they've gone completely off the rails.

[Libertarian]

No. The centerline symbolizes moderate bipartisanship

[Doctor Whom]

Obama will issue an executive order to change the rules of the road. If you've got a problem with that, pass a bill.

[d3x / dt3]

If we pass the bill, do we get to know what's in it?

[UnCivilServant]

No, it's confidential as a matter of National Security.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

But what about [REDACTED] or [REDACTED]?

[UnCivilServant]

In that case, you've overlooked [REDACTED].

[DontShootMe]

that's how you keep people from passing you while you spend 20 miles deciding which turn is the one you want.

[Ted S.]

Put in Kathleen Sebelius and you can make a reference to Mother, Jugs, and Speed.

[antisocial-ist]

They could even keep the name of the company at the end, F U.

[invisible furry hand]

Don't sully the name of that fine movie

[Ted S.]

I should probably apologize for comparing Sebelius and Raquel Welch.

They're probably all more like the Larry Hagman character anyway.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

mmmm.... Raquel Welch....

I'm sorry, you were saying?

[WTF]

And get in a Bill Cosby rape joke, too.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Shouldn't "Obamacare" be written flipped?

[UnCivilServant]

"Get out of the way ecnalubmA, there's an Ambulance coming through." -Some comic, I can't remember who.

[Roger the Shrubber]

The labelz not good enough for you? Why am I not surprised?

[straffinrun]

It was.

[Dweebston]

+2400 pages

[missyforsaleepy]

my friend's mother makes $64 /hr on the internet . She has been out of work for ten months but last month her income was $18244 just working on the internet for a few hours. go to website....

?????? http://www.payinsider.com

[Libertarian]

I see that none of you racists care that Obama isn't even in the DRIVER"S SEAT!!!!!

[invisible furry hand]

He ain't driving Miss Daisy

[UnCivilServant]

It doesn't matter who'se in the seat, the vehicle is already too out of control at this point, so what difference does it make?

[Ted S.]

Gruber's driving the ambulance into a ditch. Don't blame Obama for that.

[WTF]

No, no, they're driving it out of the ditch that BOOOSH drove it into!

[Almanian!]

"Here, hold my Slurpee?, I'm gonna try something..."

[Doctor Whom]

Finally, a real scandal as opposed to all of those phony scandals that the obstructionist Teathuglikkkans have been serving up.

[Libertarian]

Male Founders Of San Francisco Biotech Startups Promise To Make Vaginas Smell Like Ripe Peaches

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.c.....e-peaches/

[UnCivilServant]

Umm, I'm pretty sure there's a number of aroma components there that are not a result of human dwelling microbes and you'd have to actually alter the woman's biochemistry (or possibly their genome) to fully attain such a change.

[Almanian!]

Mmmm - peaches!

[Slammer]

"Dan, get the fucking peaches"

[WTF]

"Don't I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made fucking resolution. "

[sarcasmic]

Take a little naps where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for an ant to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie

[Almanian!]

so Forest Gump resurrected Bubba and now they're running an ambalance servis named "Obamacare"? I don't get it.

Awful - therefore, perfect for Friday FUNNIES! Happy fucking Friday, Reasonoids, and may you all suffer multiple embolisms and die slowly, one part at a time.

[Slammer]

Who or what is in the back??!!

[Mad Scientist]

We won't know what's in the back until it passes!

[Almanian!]

OH! How could I forget?!

*SLAP*

That's for all of you - right on DAT ASS.

[sarcasmic]

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

AIIIIIR SLAP! AIIIIR SLAP!!!

/College basketball fan

[antisocial-ist]

*SLAP*

[Rich]

To Whom It May Concern: *slap!*

[Almanian!]

I want to state here, publicly, for the first time, to all five Reasonoids and their sock puppets, that I was sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby in 1960. That was two years before I was born, and I've carried it for all these years. I appreciate the others coming out and sharing their horrid experiences with this monster - it gave me the courage to finally tell the truth after all these years.

That is all. Have a nice day.

[SQRLSY One]

I was sexually AND asexually assaulted by Bill Cosby's socket puppet in 1961, but it felt soooo good, and I was a dumb fuck, and did not realize till NOW, all these years later, that I might be able to tap into that for fame or money or SUMTHIN, so... Is it too late, or can I still jump on the bandwagon? Do I have to lie about the fact that it felt really-really good, to score a few points? Do I have to present shrink bills where I paid the shrink while I cried my eyeballs out? If I cried my eyeballs out to a mere un-certified, non-degreed friend or family member instead, does that count for diddly squat?

[SQRLSY One]

I guess what I am babbling about is, it disturbs me that my feelings aren't regarded as "real", by the courts, to some extent, unless they have been "approved" by a certified and licensed shrink. Cry my eyeballs out to a friend? Doesn't count NEARLY as much, in the eyes of the courts, as crying my eyeballs out to a shrink. So I am disturbed by this? My disturbedness here? Does it count for diddly squat? Can I cry my eyeballs out over it, on this forum,and make ANY difference? Or do I have to whine about it, to a certified (certifiable?) shrink, and THEN I am entitled to bitch?!!?

[See Double You]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!