A.M. Links: Obama Vows Executive Action on Immigration, Pentagon 'Certainly Considering' Ground Troops in Iraq, Majority of Americans Oppose Net Neutrality

• 

  Credit: White House / Flickr.com

  President Barack Obama is waving away Republican opposition to his proposed executive action on immigration. "They have the ability to fix the system," Obama said. "What they don't have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity."

• "The Justice Department is scooping up data from thousands of mobile phones through devices deployed on airplanes that mimic cellphone towers, a high-tech hunt for criminal suspects that is snagging a large number of innocent Americans, according to people familiar with the operations."

• Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says the Pentagon is "certainly considering" sending grounds troops to Iraq.

• In a newly released video, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi urges his supporters to launch attacks in Saudi Arabia.

• According to a new poll, 61 percent of Americans "strongly oppose so-called 'net neutrality' efforts that would allow the federal government to regulate the Internet."

• The House of Representatives is set to vote today on the Keystone XL pipeline.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

President Barack Obama is waving away Republican opposition to his proposed executive action on immigration.

Rand Paul should be happy. Obama shows you don’t have to give up legislating when you’re president.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

L’?tat, c’est moi!

[nema su]

You would think good Liberals would oppose this amnesty bill.

I lean to the left on many issues and here’s why I think it’s a bad idea:

Allowing illegals to stay takes jobs away from USA’s poorest citizens and job competition lowers their wages.

Allowing illegals to stay means they suck up social services funds that should go to struggling American citizens.

Allowing illegals to stay floods our hospitals with people seeking free medical care making medical care more expensive for all citizens. Mine is up to $450/month. I’m a healthy 28 year old female. (Contrast this to my $26/month auto insurance from Insurance Panda or my $10/month renters insurance from Eagle or my $15/month dental from Delta)

Allowing illegals to stay increases population which increases pollution and urban sprawl. (just look at LA)

Allowing illegals to stay floods our schools with their spawn taking resources meant for our kids education.

Allowing illegals to stay helps businesses to operate with cheap non-union labor.

So why do some Liberals support amnesty when it hurts most of the people and issues they support?

[Palin's Buttplug]

What amnesty bill?

[WTF]

Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

[Roger the Shrubber]

So why do some Liberals support amnesty when it hurts most of the people and issues they support?

FEELZ

[wareagle]

liberals support amnesty because all they see is identity politics. They believe Hispanics are their new mascots, supplementing the reliable votes they get from blacks. Condescending? Just a bit, but that’s who liberals are.

[Roger the Shrubber]

The liberal politicians pushing this only see the Hispanic constituency they think they are developing. The unintended consequences that you point out are unintended, therefor, not their concern.

Welcome to the tribe, nema su.

[Suellington]

It is because they are leftists and there is not much liberal about them.

[The Laconic]

DER TERK ER JERBS

[The_Millenial]

Durka Durrr!!!!!!!!

[Injun, as in from India]

Allowing illegals to stay takes jobs away from USA’s poorest citizens and job competition lowers their wages.

The same way importing products takes away business from domestic companies, and thus affects jobs?

Allowing illegals to stay floods our hospitals with people seeking free medical care making medical care more expensive for all citizens

Maybe the issue is the “FREE” medical care?

Allowing illegals to stay increases population which increases pollution and urban sprawl.

Wrong. Wealthy countries pollute less. This is the same Malthusian BS fallacy I heard growing up in India from people demanding forced sterilization to curb population growth.

Allowing illegals to stay floods our schools with their spawn taking resources meant for our kids education.

See above. Maybe education should not be “free” and the government should get out of it.

Allowing illegals to stay helps businesses to operate with cheap non-union labor.

Yay for higher profits and output per worker employed by the company!

[Heroic Mulatto]

Allowing illegals to stay floods our schools with their spawn

Dehumanization much?

[Warren's Strapon]

Because some people care about people who weren’t born in this country, not just the ones who were.

[MJGreen]

This all is predicated on the idea that illegals will only be capable of staying if the “amnesty bill” is put into effect. Are you advocating, then, that there be mass deportations? Because there are a lot of costs to doing that.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

So why do some Liberals support amnesty when it hurts most of the people and issues they support?

Because upper-class liberal whites and the media have been systematically divorcing themselves from the white working-class voters that made up most of their constituency ever since the late 60s, when group identity issues began to take greater priority over economic ones within the left. If you want to see the cultural watershed on this, look no further than “All in the Family,” which solidified the stereotype of the bumbling, idiotic blue-collar father figure that’s been ubiquitous in television ever since.

Not coincidentally, All in the Family was the American version of a British show where the same cultural process has been taking place.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

“They have the ability to fix the system,” Obama said. “What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity.”

Reworked: I’m broken inside.

[Mainer2]

He is a petulant little shit, isn’t he.

[Pro Libertate]

What I expect, you mendacious moron, is that you operate within the legal bounds of your office.

[BigT]

“What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity.”

Shorter: F the Constitution

[MJGreen]

What a great orator. “What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by,” doesn’t make sense, but by gum it sounds tough! Kinda. It’s vaguely tough.

[Drake]

Republicans will take over Congress in January – and then should pass a bill in negative 6 weeks or else they are taking too long? That’s going to be tough.

What our great statesman is really saying:
“Vote for whatever piece of shit bill Harry Reid allows now, or else. I refuse to negotiate or compromise.”

Awesome leadership skills there.

[Injun, as in from India]

And this is the guy that the left touts as a some erudite constitutional scholar?

[Fist of Etiquette]

“What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity.”

The Constitution gives them the ability if not the will.

[DJF]

So he is going to fix a system which is broken because its not enforced by not enforcing it?

[Zeb]

Free will gives them the ability to expect anything they want. Whether or not it will happen is another matter.

[waffles]

I quit my job!

[Slammer]

Is that good or bad? You sound happy

[waffles]

Well, I got another one.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That’s the worst time to quit. Then you get a taste for it and have the urge to quit the new one.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

What is your line of work?

[waffles]

I’m an engineer. My degree is in Civil, but early in my career I got mixed in with a bad crowd (nuclear). After dealing with the process from site selection to structural design I now fully understand why it is so difficult to build a plant. I’m getting into a company that will let me collect my own data and write my own methodologies to evaluate energy efficiency claims.

[Alton Knutson]

I am also in nuclear, where are you going if you don’t mind me asking?

[robc]

My degree is in Nuclear, but I ended up in IT, and now brewing.

Bad crowd, to worse crowd, to worst crowd.

Or maybe I have that backwards.

[The DerpRider]

Wort crowd…

[robc]

Im going to ignore that.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Make sure you burn that bridge on the way out the door.

[waffles]

I’ve already prepared the accelerants. Anybody got a match?

[invisible furry hand]

I once quit with a note in crayon saying “Screw you guys, I’m going home, effective 23 October”.

They’d still hire me back, I bet

[Fist of Etiquette]

They were probably confused since you put the day before the month.

[BakedPenguin]

She’s an Aussie. Everything is upside-down there.

[Lord Humungus]

So 23 Octobers from now?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Who are you? Croca Dundee?

[BigT]

When I left my job of 21 years I left a skull-and-crossbones flag in my window that could be seen by everyone on site.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Hey, me too!

[invisible furry hand]

You quit waffles’ job too?

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Just my own.

Another CPA firm courted me and offered me lots of money. It’s also much closer to home and culturally the firm has a much younger vibe to it, also larger in size. I will be doing more corporate tax work and hopefully, little to no individual tax*.

*Of course, fuck all taxes.

[Florida Man]

I heard on the radio this morning that 2.8 million people quit this year. They didn’t say if it was waffles job, but they did say it is a sign the economy is improving.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I will not be held back by oppressive phrasing.

[waffles]

No, I appreciate the solidarity.

[Injun, as in from India]

CPA, why do you vote against your own interests? You should be voting for candidates who will create a highly complex tax code so you can stay employed forever.

[KDN]

CPA’s aren’t at risk as a class if the tax code simplifies; that’s a skillset (and a cert) that will always be in-demand. It’s the other hangers-on in the tax prep industry that will be hosed.

[BakedPenguin]

Exactly. Financial & managerial accounting, as well as auditing would still exist even if there was a flat tax.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I think if there was major tax reform I would probably lose my job unless I could transition into financial accounting, but I would still be happy to see the code reformed.

Of course, I do not see this ever happening.

[Ska]

I’m also a CPA, and our industry is booming right now (at least in NYC). There are more jobs than people, and we are constantly hiring from big firms (they are sniping our people also). Point being if you don’t like the partner composition or your personal prospects, it’s easy enough to make a move.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Yep. I would have preferred to try out a private tax role this time around, but there are not many opportunities for that in my area.

[Pope Jimbo]

Right on! Today is my last day at my current job. A few days off next week and I start a new one.

[invisible furry hand]

A James Garner online jigsaw puzzle. Just because.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

You are a strange and wonderful person.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Fucken fuck fuck! I have to be somewhere in about an hour and now I’m gonna be late!

[SweatingGin]

13:56

Now I guess I should accomplish something.

[DJF]

11:36

Ha, ha, ha, I waste my time faster then you do!!!!!

[Rich]

That’s why you get paid the big bucks!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

How do you rotate the pieces?

[UnCivilServant]

Turn your monitor.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

7:11 bitches

[Rhywun]

Blocked. Fucking work.

[Aloysious]

14:00

a nice, round, even number…

[Fist of Etiquette]

…a high-tech hunt for criminal suspects that is snagging a large number of innocent Americans, according to people familiar with the operations.

Three felonies a day means everyone is a criminal.

[sarcasmic]

‘Clogged sorry! But feelin’ much better’: Is this the best collection of NOT-so-sorry apology notes ever?

Individuals who hit a parked car and left an apology note to pretend they were leaving their details
One child was also sorry for karate chopping his friend ‘in the privates’
Another apologetic friend begged for forgiveness by offering a plate full of crispy bacon

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..notes.html

[BakedPenguin]

“Another apologetic friend begged for forgiveness by offering a plate full of crispy bacon”

Wait – that’s a bad note?

[sarcasmic]

Curse of the ?15million watch: Haunting story of the most elaborate watch ever made – and the man who wished he had never owned it

US banker Henry Graves Jr ordered the ‘Supercomplication’ watch Swiss manufacturer Patek Philippe in 1925
It was so complex that it later became known as the ‘Holy Grail’ of watches and sold at auction this week for ?15.1m
The timepiece featured 24 complications including perpetual calendar, moon phases and night sky of New York City
But it never brought Graves the pleasure he expected and just seven months after he received it, his best friend died
Worse was to come when his youngest son George was killed in car crash on a boulevard in Pasadena, California
Graves came close to selling watch believing it to be a bad talisman but his daughter persuaded him to keep it

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..er-it.html

[The Laconic]

That was surprisingly dull, and I am a worse person for having read it.

[The DerpRider]

Now if 24 complications occurred in his life, we’d be talking. Otherwise…

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

He’s got 24 complications, but his watch ain’t one of ’em.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

99 Complications, but my watch ain’t one?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Has it really been that long since I refreshed? Damn!

[sarcasmic]

German politicians announce plans to introduce 50/50 quotas for traffic lights so there are as many flashing green men as there are women

Politicians in Dortmund want to introduce female traffic light icons
They claim they should be introduced in the name of gender equality
Officials argued that they are also safer as they would emit more light

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..women.html

[Ted S.]

Officials argued that they are also safer as they would emit more light

That’s because they’re fatter, amirite? 🙂

/TIWTAANFL

[KDN]

This only bothers me if they’re going to change existing, functional lights to accommodate this latest case of PC running amok. If they want to do it by making all new or replacement lights womanlike until there’s a 50/50 ratio, go for it.

[Injun, as in from India]

I would be cool with it as long as the lady figures are 36-24-36.

[Florida Man]

Only if she’s 5’3′

[Florida Man]

….*looks at watch* where is HM?

[Ted S.]

They use metric in Germany, so that would be monstrously thin.

[Roger the Shrubber]

I don’t think that they are proposing life-sized pictograms.

[Heedless]

So 1-.66-1, then?

[waffles]

Doesn’t this open another issue. The woman stick figure is wearing a dress/skirt which propagates gender norms foisted upon society by the patriarchy. My solution is that the female figures should be made with enlarged breasts and buttocks to suggest buxom nudity and venusian fertility. Then no one will be upset.

[invisible furry hand]

You’re othering sarcasmic and his lust objects

[waffles]

But then they just look like prepubescent boys. This will encourage pedophilia or worse, offer no gender differences between traffic light people.

[The Laconic]

I thought they were women. The figures aren’t obviously tumescent, after all.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why stop there? They should have them for blacks, Asians, gays and in Germany Turkish.

Personally, I’m partial to a more emerald green light. The current shade of green is just sooo gross.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Turks.

[Injun, as in from India]

In that case, I would abolish green altogether. Why have Green extraterrestrials when you need to have humans?

[BigT]

They should have them for blacks, Asians, gays and in Germany Turkish.

What? No midgets, dwarves, or handicapped?

[Pope Jimbo]

The current shade of green is just sooo gross.

Go to Japan and Korea. They call it “blue”. You can have all sorts of fun arguing with them about that nonsense.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

They should have them for blacks, Asians, gays…

So, dark green, yellow green, pinkish green,..?

[Rich]

flashing green men

Nice band name.

[BardMetal]

It could be like blue man group, except you paint yourself green, and flash your junk at the audience.

[Rhywun]

And then you join Miley Cyrus’ next tour.

[Zeb]

Do German women always wear pleated skirts and pigtails? And in these crazy modern times where women wear pants in public, is the normal icon really so gendered?

What do you bet that some people will complain that the representations of women on the lights are sexist?

[The Laconic]

All German women wear dirndls, all the time.

[Ska]

Now they have to make sure that married, single, and widowed all get fair representation. Knots are tools of the patriarchy, obviously.

[BardMetal]

I thought they wore black leather.

[Rich]

Is that green girl carrying a chainsaw, or what?

[invisible furry hand]

Understanding Millennials ? How do Potatoes Fit into Their Lives?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

All I know is potatoes take long to prepare. Stubborn fucks.

[Spoonman.]

While they’re somewhat better from the oven, a microwaved potato is pretty damn good and takes like 5 minutes.

[UnCivilServant]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt_potatoes

Salt potatos man. Use smaller tubers and they cook faster.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Does Bloomberg know about this?

[UnCivilServant]

Probably not – no one downstate knows much about good food.

[Rhywun]

Bah. There is good food everywhere. Except England.

[Lord Humungus]

something, something potato in vagina

[waffles]

What’s taters?

[Florida Man]

PO-TA-TOS!

[Fist of Etiquette]

The House of Representatives is set to vote today on the Keystone XL pipeline.

It ain’t gonna save Landrieu.

[Tonio]

You know who else defied the will of Landrieu?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

Kirk?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You’re not of the body.

[Pro Libertate]

Did someone call for a Lawgiver? Here, have some law.

[Lord Humungus]

R.I.P., Elizabeth Warren ’16 fantasy: Why she’s really (probably) not running for president now

Congratulations to Elizabeth Warren! She has been knighted as a member of the Senate Democratic leadership, just in time for Democrats to hand over power to the Republican Party.

She will serve in a newly created position as a “liaison to liberal groups.” Her official title will be “strategic policy adviser to the Democratic Policy and Communications Committee,” where she will “[help] craft the party’s policy positions and priorities.” (Just in time for the Democratic Senate leadership to bring up a vote on building the Keystone XL pipeline.)

What does this mean? First thing is that “Elizabeth Warren raises a lot of money for the Democratic Party and is being rewarded with a title.” As it happens, she addressed the Democracy Alliance of wealthy liberal donors yesterday, and this time, it was as an emissary from the Senate Democratic leadership.

[Tonio]

Oh, interesting. Looks like she’s been bought off. Presumably, she knows she can’t win so her only hope was to run soley to move the party platform to the left. Presumably she’s been promised she can do that from her new position.

[Idle Hands]

Oh man I was really hoping she would run. Talk about missed lulz. We still have lunchbox Joe.

[Restoras]

If Biden runs I will switch parties to vote for him in the primary. Talk about epic lulz – that might be the best one-term president ever.

[Slammer]

5 Reasons Why Joe Biden Would Make a Fantastic President

[Restoras]

PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease

[Idle Hands]

If Biden were to win the primary, I would vote for him in a second.

[Tonio]

It ain’t over ’til it’s over, Idle.

[KDN]

According to a new poll, 61 percent of Americans “strongly oppose so-called ‘net neutrality’ efforts that would allow the federal government to regulate the Internet.”

Oh my God, there’s hope for the future of humanity.

[Auric Demonocles]

Maybe it’s just because I spend so much time on the internet, but I would never have guessed that was the case.

[Zeb]

I fin bit a bit surprising as well. Maybe people are catching on to the fact that it won’t make their internet experience better. That’s what people really care about.

[Auric Demonocles]

Yeah, perhaps they’re finally realizing that all these “evil” things the companies could do if this law isn’t implemented… aren’t being done right now, with no law.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Who cares? What matters is those who weren’t polled, amirite? Right? Huh? Um?

Obama speaks for them.

[Injun, as in from India]

But… But… The people need to be saved from their own stupidity!

– J. Gruber

[The Laconic]

Maybe these rubes just need an MIT economist to explain to them that net neutrality means free Netflix.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Wording.

What if the question was “should your ISP be able to block or slow down certain content?”.

[Florida Man]

Wording

“Would you like the Internet to be more like the DMV?”

[Palin's Buttplug]

I don’t want the government or my monopoly high speed ISP deciding what content to slow down or censor.

[Restoras]

Yes you do, Weigel. Just admit it, then lay back and think of Fascist Amerika. You’ll feel much better.

[WTF]

Don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

[Fluffy]

ISP’s already offer service at different speeds and bandwidths.

[Warren's Strapon]

I don’t want the government or my monopoly high speed ISP deciding what content to slow down or censor.

Well, the solution is in your premise–break the ISP monopoly. Because you’re not going to break the government monopoly.

[Free Society]

I don’t want the government or my monopoly high speed ISP deciding what content to slow down or censor.

A) Your ISP is almost certainly not a monopoly
B) if it actually is in your area, that can only be due to some level of government interference
C) if monopolies and arbitrary decision-making about your content offends you so, then there is no surer way to make that a reality than to hand arbitrary regulatory authority to the state.

[KDN]

For once you’re right. The wording implies that it’s the FCC that will be screwing with content. It would be an interesting test if they swapped out “TV and Radio” for “Phone and Cable companies,” especially since that’s what’s more likely to happen.

[Snark Plissken]

Wording.

“Should your favorite liberal oligarch be able to enjoy rounding up his fellow Jews?”

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

He should not be able to enjoy it.

[Free Society]

T’is a solemn duty of state officials to extort, murder and otherwise oppress it’s subjects.

[Roger the Shrubber]

Without an explanation of why an ISP would do that, the question is not intelligently answered by the general public.

What if the question was “Your ISP is able to block or slow down certain content. Do you think the Fed. Gov’t. should regulate this activity, or would you prefer that competing companies develop their own policies, allowing you the ability to choose a provider?”

I don’t know anybody who likes their cable provider. I also don’t know any intelligent person who thinks that they would be more satisfied with their cable provider if only the federal gov’t was more active in the regulation of these companies.

[Florida Man]

I like uverse much better than brighthouse. I also have Comcast as an option in my ISP “monopoly”.

[KDN]

The NetNeut monopoly argument is absurdly specific; they treat broadband as the end-all, be-all. You can get connectivity from a plethora of options regardless of where you live, it’s just that most of them are too expensive for what people are looking to do (seriously, I know of at least 7 companies that will run a 20 MB pipe from their backbone to your doorstep if you pay them enough, or you can leverage mobile broadband for home internet use).

Broadband’s the product that fits the home consumer market best, but there’s trade-offs that have to be made with that choice. That’s economics. The local franchise agreements should be killed, but their existence is no reason to add a layer of regulation to a market that has demonstrated over the past 20 years that it really doesn’t need any. Comcast et al can read the news as well as you or me, they know that their customers don’t want them to manipulate their user experience and will be apoplectic if and when they do so.

What I love about the Netflix vs. Comcast episode is that it was a case of two producers going to bat for their consumers. The free market at its finest. But they ruin that by asking the Feds to step in and settle that argument in perpetuity, with side effects that can’t be anticipated.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Better yet. Thanks for a rare nuanced reply here. I don’t trust either entity in this.

[Roger the Shrubber]

Bandwidth is not infinite. The infrastructure that creates bandwidth is an investment of the ISPs. Whether or not your trust the ISPs in the allocation of their resources is not a concern of the ISPs or the federal gov’t. In other words: if you don’t like it, don’t buy it.

[The DerpRider]

Gawd. Stay away from Reddit. And I only go there for cordcutters to get info for ditching pay TV (which has produced great savings) and fantasy football.

[BigT]

Most of the dolts complain about monopolies that net neutrality would break up. But if you look at the providers map, you will see that 99.9% of Americans have at least 2 wireless providers available.

But, of course, a government-business cooperative (fascism) is better than unbridled corporations.

[Snark Plissken]

In a newly released video, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi urges his supporters to launch attacks in Saudi Arabia

Enemy of my biggest fake ally is my friend.

[waffles]

In a newly released video, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi urges his supporters to launch attacks in Saudi Arabia.

I can’t help but feel hopeful. Shifting the war to the Saudis might actually mean countries other than the USA will step up and do something.

[Rich]

“What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity.”

With all due respect, Mr. President, apparently they *do* have that ability.

[Ted S.]

Rapunzel was pregnant

‘Here’s a knife… if the slipper is still too tight for you, then cut off a piece of your foot. It will hurt a bit. But what does that matter.’

If you ever had Cinderella read to you as a child, you probably won’t be familiar with this extract – where the stepsisters are urged by their mother to self-mutilate in a bid to marry the prince.

Incidentally, he then noticed the blood sloshing around in the ‘golden’ slipper, thus thwarting their ugly scheming.

If you’re not familiar with this grimmer version of the Brothers’ Grimm tale, you’re not alone – as it comes from the first-ever English translation of their original edition, which was released in 1812.

And it’s not just Cinderella which was wholly unsuitable bedtime reading for children: Rapunzel becomes pregnant after having a ‘merry time’ with her prince in the tower – and it’s Snow White’s real, not step, mother who orders the huntsman to ‘stab her to death’.

[Zeb]

Cool. Even the existing English translations are much grimmer that most people expect. This should be interesting.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

My highschool German teacher gave us some of the original works…total bloodbaths, ful of accpet your lot even as it means a horrible death, etc.

[Free Society]

Meine Hochschule hatten kein Deutsch leher(in). Als du kannst von mein grammatik wissen. eifers?chtig…

[Heroic Mulatto]

are much grimmer

You want to see “grim”?

Keep up with the puns, bub.

[Zeb]

It was only half a pun. I do feel kind of dirty. It’s not the sort of thing I’m normally into.

[BardMetal]

I used to read the original English translated Brother Grimm fairy tales as a kid and I turned out ok.

[lap83]

Me too. You learn to ignore the voices.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Citation needed.

You are posting here , after all.

[Lord Humungus]

‘Scope boffins get INSIDE URANUS after snapping mystery spots

Using the W. M. Keck II Telescope on Hawaii, astronomers first noted the planet’s unusual appearance on August 5 and 6: a bright spot appeared that accounted for 30 per cent of the light usually reflected by the gas giant. They estimated that the images showed a massive storm disrupting the upper atmosphere of the planet.

“This type of activity would have been expected in 2007, when Uranus’s once every 42-year equinox occurred and the Sun shined directly on the equator,” noted co-investigator Heidi Hammel of the Association of Universities for Research in Astronomy.

[Ted S.]

How do you get inside a gas giant?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

Buy him a drink first?

[Restoras]

What if it’s a she, LTC?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

Same strategy!

[Tonio]

Back in my day you deployed a probe…

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

Make it so!

[sarcasmic]

‘It’s time to take more risks…We’re now coming to the end’: Rosetta probe deploys drill in last ditch attempt to get comet samples as clock ticks on fading battery power

[sarcasmic]

Scientists expect that the main battery on Philae will run out of power by the end of today or early Saturday
The team have deployed a drill onboard Philae to analyse 4.5 billion-year-old samples from comet 67P
But this is a risky operation as using the drill could move Rosetta’s lander into a better or worse position
Mission director, Paolo Ferri, told MailOnline today this is the ‘last ditch’ attempt get material from comet
All 10 of Philae’s instruments have now been used, including a ‘hammer and nail’ to measure temperature
Whether drill has been successful will be known at 10.30pm GMT, when Philae makes contact with Earth
Secondary battery can charged by the sun if the lander is moved to get largest solar panel into light
Alternatively, the Philae lander could be put into hibernation mode until the comet gets closer to the sun

[sarcasmic]

Earlier, Philae sent back the first ever images from the surface of a comet, confirming it was in darkness
Philae made three historic touchdowns on 67P on Wednesday, making it the first craft to land on a comet
Probe bounced twice – once up to 0.62 miles (1km) then again to 65ft (20 metres) – before coming to a rest
More images could be unveiled later today, including several that show Philae’s bounces on the comet

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..power.html

[Warren's Strapon]

Maybe they’ll hit oil and can use that for energy.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says the Pentagon is “certainly considering” sending grounds troops to Iraq.

If you like your bootless Iraqi ground you can kee- Aw, hell with it.

[Bee Tagger]

Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says the Pentagon is “certainly considering” sending grounds troops to Iraq.

Whether they’ll be wearing boots or a more fashionable loafer is not up for debate.

[Injun, as in from India]

Listen up people. This whole troop surge idea is not the president’s. He learned about it from the media.

[Lord Humungus]

Polls Show Hostility Toward Obama’s Work Permits For Illegals

Democrats and advocates for more immigration are cheering President Barack Obama’s plan to unilaterally grant work permits to many illegal immigrants, even though numerous polls show overwhelming public hostility to plans that favor illegals over Americans.

“If the president takes his action on the amnesty, he will make it easier for the Republicans to win in 2016,” said Kellyanne Conway, who recently polled 2014 voters about their attitudes toward immigration. “The angriest person should be Hillary Clinton,” Conway added.

[Homple]

If they work, they shouldn’t need permits. It’s the hangers on the welfare teat that need to be e-verified out of the shadows and sent back home.

[Zeb]

Do work permits count as amnesty?

I think work permits for illegals are a great idea, if for no other reason than it will provide an option other than stealing someone’s SSN if you want regular work.

[Palin's Buttplug]

No. President Rick W. Perry could still mass deport in 2017.

[WTF]

I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.

[tarran]

They don’t, but as John pointed out it puts people in a limbo – one where their status can change anytime for the worse.

It goes to highlight how thoroughly Obama’s narcissism has crippled him. It’s a perfect issue for him to work with the new Congress on, and he won’t do it because it would mean accepting a process that he doesn’t control from start to finish. To a narcissist, the idea of other people having any input is the same as the narcissist getting no say at all.

[Palin's Buttplug]

The Senate passed a bipartisan immigration bill. The irrational teabags in the House would not let Boehner bring it up for a vote. Obama supported it.

[WTF]

What you’ve just said… is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul…

[tarran]

Please don’t interact with it… It’s not sentient and your replies – even the scathing abusive ones – are to it what sugar is to a cockroach.

One doesn’t get rid of a cockroach infestation by leaving bowls of sugar about.

[Zeb]

it puts people in a limbo

There is that, which I didn’t consider too much. That’s a legitimate problem. Probably a good argument against doing anything like this by executive order rather than legislation. Perhaps a better answer to the identity theft problem is just to stop requiring employers to help enforce immigration laws.
I think some sort of amnesty is necessary at some point. I don’t want the state to have the powers necessary to find and deport a large proportion of illegal immigrants. But it really needs to be accompanied by some other big reforms to allow a more reasonable amount of legal immigration.

[tarran]

Full disclosure: I am an open borders radical, so I my heart is in the end-all-immigration-restrictions- and-mandatory-employer-verifiction-checks camp.

With that being said, what Obama is doing is pretty stupid. None of the steps he is taking actually fix anything. His statement to the effect that Congress must fix the problem is correct. To do that he needs to step back and let Congress tackle the problem. If he hadn’t squandered what good-will the legislators had for him with his systematic contemptuous behavior, he could influence the process.

But being a narcissist, he can’t stand not being in charge. His personality disorder impels him to show the Congress that he is in charge and do it in a way that humiliates them. All this does is engender bad feelings for him and makes actually building a consensus that is acceptable to a supermajority of legislators more difficult to build. Thanks to this proposal, the task is now sisyphean.

In effect it’s actually screwing over the people it’s supposed to help, since the backlash that’s building up will lead to whomever replaces Obama rescinding his executive orders as a big fuck you.

[Zeb]

That’s pretty much where I’m at as well. And I agree that what Obama is talking about doing will ultimately be counter productive in making immigration more like what you or I would like it to be.

[sarcasmic]

Woman who lost her left eye in ‘unjustified’ police shooting after drunken 40-mile car chase sues Utah cop for excessive force as she removes her patch in dramatic press conference

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT
Kristine Biggs Johnson was drunkenly driving her truck through Morgan County, Utah, on November 24, 2012 when the shooting occurred
A 40-mile car chase ensued after she refused to stop for police who tried to pull her over
The chase eventually ended in a cul-de-sac and dash-cam footage shows Johnson surrounded by three cop cars
Sergeant Daniel Peay fired a single bullet that struck Johnson’s left eye
‘This is a tragic police shooting using deadly force that was totally unnecessary’ said her attorney Robert Sykes

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..force.html

[Crusty Juggler]

I would.

[Idle Hands]

Wut?

[Slammer]

Shoot her in the face?

[Restoras]

Go on…

[Florida Man]

That’s HAWT!

[BardMetal]

One of the terrible side effects of police excessive force is that it gets me to feel sorry for pieces of shit like this woman.

[sarcasmic]

Pictured from above: Lava from Hawaiian volcano slowly consumes island as authorities warn molten rock is burning asphalt and edging towards a cemetery

Lava from a volcano on Hawaii’s Big Island is inching closer to the small town of Pahoa
Molten rock is currently breaking out of three spots near the town, which has around 1,000 residents
Hawaii County Civil Defense say the breakouts do not pose an immediate threat to area residents
The Kilauea volcano has been erupting continuously for more than 31 years, and destroyed a home this week

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..spots.html

[Zeb]

Lava from Hawaiian volcano slowly consumes island

Isn’t it sort of doing the opposite of that?

[Almanian!]

+1 land mass

[UnCivilServant]

I thought the line meant it was filling the sea around a smaller islet and conuming that one.

[Zeb]

Could be. Though the article seems to be about it consuming a town on the big island.

[BardMetal]

Hopefully it won’t tip over.

[BigT]

Someone help me here. Why can’t they simply use bulldozers to build a little wall of earth to divert the lava away from houses and into desired channels? What am I missing?

[sarcasmic]

I was thinking the same thing. Maybe they’ve got some stupid law that says you can’t divert the lava or something.

[sarcasmic]

A quick google came up with this:

http://www.nbcnews.com/science…..it-n236591

Seems that diverting it is easier said than done.

[Slammer]

Pope Francis to install showers for homeless

You know who else installed showers?

[Ted S.]

I don’t think “install” is the right word for golden showers.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hitler.

Always Hitler.

[Tonio]

We can tolerate your arctic gales, Mr. Canuckistanian Boy, but not spoiling the godwin-troll game.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Stop loading the questions!

[Tonio]

Jerry Sandusky?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

*narrows gaze, stifles bark of laughter*

[Notorious G.K.C.]

French homeowners, in their kitchens? (see below)

[sarcasmic]

A youthful Kate Moss is barely recognisable in ripped Snoopy sweatshirt and scruffy jeans at private gig

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..umper.html
I still lust her.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

French homeowners, in their kitchens? (see below)

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Wrong thread.

[Crusty Juggler]

I would, if she had an eyepatch.

[Lord Humungus]

France changes rules to allow kitchen toilets

French officials announced a law change that will allow homeowners to install toilets in their kitchens and living rooms.

Minister of Housing Sylvia Pinel and Minister of Ecology Segolene Royal announced in the French government’s Official Journal Nov. 8 they are doing away with a law requiring toilets to be kept separate from kitchens and living rooms.

[Rich]

The ministers wrote they were doing away with “the prohibition of direct communication between the [bathrooms] and kitchens and living rooms” as part of “a process of simplification of regulations.”

Emphasis added. Baby steps.

[Zeb]

So is that why they often have a toilet room separate from the bathroom in France?

[BardMetal]

Isn’t not having the smell of shit in your kitchen enough of a reason to not put a toilet there? Did they really need to make a law?

[Zeb]

I think that the rule was that you can’t make your toilet room connect directly to the kitchen. In Europe, toilet generally means the room, no the actual device. I don’t imagine a lot of people want to install the actual commode in the kitchen.

[SugarFree]

This is so sad and pathetic, so reaching and desperate. I can’t stop laughing about it.

Bleeding Heart Dream Woman Elizabeth Warren Voted to Senate Leadership

[Fist of Etiquette]

She big chief squaw now.

[invisible furry hand]

Who is Bleeding Heart and why should I care what she dreams about Woman Elizabeth Warren?

[Tonio]

One of Sen. Warren’s fellow native Americans, guessing by the name.

[Idle Hands]

Is “Bleeding Heart Dream Woman” her new title now that she has advanced in the tribe?

[Bee Tagger]

According to a new poll, 61 percent of Americans “strongly oppose so-called ‘net neutrality’ efforts that would allow the federal government to regulate the Internet.”

But Mark Cuban invoked Ayn Rand. That should be enough to knock that down to something closer to 59%.

[Fist of Etiquette]

According to a new poll, 61 percent of Americans “strongly oppose so-called ‘net neutrality’ efforts that would allow the federal government to regulate the Internet.”

Election’s over. It matters even less now what the people want.

[Auric Demonocles]

I have the ability to expect alt-text.

[UnCivilServant]

expect all you want, it won’t produce a supply.

[Lord Humungus]

Obama, Down but Not Out, Presses Ahead

President Obama emerged from last week’s midterm election rejected by voters, hobbled politically and doomed to a final two years in office suffering from early lame-duck syndrome. That, at least, was the consensus in both parties. No one seems to have told Mr. Obama.

In the 10 days since “we got beat,” as he put it, by Republicans who captured the Senate and bolstered control over the House, Mr. Obama has flexed his muscles on immigration, climate change and the Internet, demonstrating that he still aspires to enact sweeping policies that could help define his legacy.

The Comeback Kid!

[SugarFree]

“It was so cunning of him to make his opponents think he was disappointed by the midterm results. Instead, he’s got them right where he wants them.”

/Voxderp

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

NYT spreads legs even further apart for the Lightworker.

[SugarFree]

At this point, I’m pretty sure I can see the NYT’s liver.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

“The Comeback Kid!”

As he dances furiously in the ring shadow boxing…alone.

“I’m a bad man! I’m a come back kid! Take that and that!”

/is winded. Flops to ground on his ass. Takes one final meek swipe.

“I’m…a…bad…”

[Lord Humungus]

World’s Foremost Bedpan Collector Celebrates Objects Most People Pooh-Pooh

How many bedpans is too many? 10? 50? Try 250. That’s about how many bedpans and items of bedpan memorabilia Eric Eakin has collected thus far. “I have bedpan greeting cards, bedpan poems, bedpan jewelry, and bedpan salt-and-pepper shakers,” he says. Eakin’s also got plenty of vintage and antique bedpans, each one clean enough to eat out of, should you be so inclined.

Eakin’s interest in bedpans was inherited from his mother. “She was a bit of an eclectic person, and once while she was visiting friends in Europe, they explained that her going-away gift was in a locker at the airport,'” says Eakin. The friends handed his mother a mysterious little key, and when she arrived at the airport and located the locker, she found a common bedpan made by the British company Boots waiting inside. “She had to carry it through the airport and back to the U.S.,” says Eakin, “and all the while, her friends were at home laughing about it.”

[Ted S.]

Somebody begs to differ that it’s the foremost collection:

The director of the private collection in Prague 2’s Vy?ehradsk? Street, Renata Sedl?ckov?, says the collection is the biggest in the world. “At the moment we have around 2,000 thousand [sic] exhibits on show. Of these, around 1,700 are chamber pots, around 120 are sit down toilets and water closet chests with the rest being curiosities, postcards, catalogues, and other smaller items.

[Bee Tagger]

The House of Representatives is set to vote today on the Keystone XL pipeline.

While listening to a Falty DL bass line?

[Palin's Buttplug]

If oil stays at $70 that tar shit won’t be profitable enough to refine in Texas.

[The Last American Hero]

So Fedgov should prohibit construction of pipelines to save investors from their own foolishness, then everyone can bemoan the lack of a pipeline when some mideast or Russian turd causes oil prices to surge? Great plan.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Of course not. Just keep piping that tar shit to the Midwest where it keeps their gas prices lower. Low energy prices should be a national objective.

[Pope Jimbo]

I’m still waiting for one of the Sioux tribes in N or S Dakota to build a refinery on their res.

They are near the Bakken field and since they are technically sovereign nations, they could tell the EPA to go fuck themselves and build it with way less environmental impacts.

It would also cause the progs’ heads to explode because they wouldn’t be able to use the usual evil white man line of attack on them.

[Rich]

A man, his wife and his mistress confessed to killing two women and using their flesh to make desserts in 2012, police said. The trio allegedly lured women to their shared home by promising them nanny jobs and then ate and sold some of their pastries to neighbors.

Dessert pastries? Kinky.

Seriously, how do *three* people get into this shit? Bath salts?

[SugarFree]

I told you fuckers that gay marriage would lead to this sort of stuff.

[Drake]

I’m really impressed this stud got his wife and mistress to cooperate on anything.

[Tonio]

Or maybe the women engineered the situation from the start.

[Ted S.]

Somebody has watched Les Diaboliques recently….

[Tonio]

Never, actually, but I know women…

[Lord Humungus]

The White House asks men to stop campus sex abuse
A new campaign tells them to be “the guy who stops it”

The White House’s latest push in its “It’s On Us” campaign to address campus rape, which rolled out Thursday, is a direct appeal to men to intervene to stop rape. In a new clip, narrated by Jon Hamm, an intoxicated young woman is seen taking her purse and preparing to depart a college party ? until she’s intercepted by a man who takes her by the arm and says, “You’re not leaving, are you?” But as the camera pans to another young man clutching a red Solo cup and watching the proceedings from the couch, the focus changes. “This isn’t a PSA about a sexual assault,” Hamm says, “it’s about being the guy who stops it.” And with that, the guy gets off the couch.

[Idle Hands]

One time at a college house party my girlfriend was so drunk she passed out and I carried her out over my shoulder caveman style and walked towards the front door. A girl and noticed who was standing by the door, turned to the guy she was talking to and said something like “where is he going with that girl” and the guy who was talking to her turned to me asked “hey what are you doing?” to which I replied “GO FIND YOUR OWN BITCH!”. Than I walked out the front door, hailed a cab and nothing else happened.

[Rich]

“Win The Future”, “Josh Earnest”, “It’s On Us”, …

Those *zany* White House staffers!

[WTF]

Because men are responsible for ensuring the safety of strange women, but the women themselves are never responsible for their own safety and behavior, because that would be blaming the victim.

[The DerpRider]

Will Bill Cosby be filming any of these PSAs…

[Lord Humungus]

The Feral Cats of Disneyland

The cats?former pets, strays, and other assorted felines roaming Southern California?have been in Disneyland basically since the amusement park opened in 1955. They m?ay have come originally to feast on bits of food left by visitors, but they probably stayed because there remain a limitless number of places to hide and hunt rats. Today you can spot them along the tracks near Main Street Station, or perched on the cliffs of Big Thunder Trail, or lounging around White Water Snacks. Disney didn’t tell park visitors about the feral cat colony that came to inhabit the Happiest Place on Earth, but the company quietly instituted a policy of neutering, vaccinating, and tagging all the felines in the Magic Kingdom.

[Rich]

And in *Canadian* cat news …

“It was just a swirling mass of cats around your feet. Every step I took down that center aisle, I had to wiggle my foot in so I didn’t step on somebody.”

[TwB]

I can’t even imagine the smell in that van. Ugh

[UnCivilServant]

Don’t worry, the reptiles will keep them confined to the park.

[Florida Man]

Disneyland is in California, Disney world is in Florida. Unless California has a reptile problem I don’t know about.

[UnCivilServant]

Well they do elect a lot of reptiles…

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Anaheim has some HUGE cockroaches, but the reptiles are mostly small lizards.

Anaheim Man is not nearly as entertaining or informative as Florida Man.

[Slammer]

Blind Man: Cops Arrested & Ditched Me By Side Of The Road

[Lord Humungus]

Troopers warn of underwear bandit in Alaska town

Alaska State Troopers say there’s been a rash of burglaries reported lately. People have returned to their homes to find items ? mostly women’s underwear ? missing.

Fisherman Hannah Clark tells Kodiak radio station KMXT that she began noticing items had been moved around in her home when she returned from fishing trips last summer. But she didn’t connect those incidents to her missing underwear until she heard the news Wednesday.

[Mike M.]

Reports: Third Ebola patient headed to Nebraska Medical Center.

A third Ebola patient is headed to the special Biocontainment Unit at the Nebraska Medical Center this weekend, according to news reports Thursday.

The Associated Press identified the patient as Martin Salia, a surgeon who was infected with the virus while treating victims in Sierra Leone, one of the hardest-hit areas of West Africa.

The patient is a Sierra Leonean national who is a permanent resident of the United States and lives in Maryland, AP reported, citing an anonymous source. He reportedly was working at Kissy United Methodist Hospital in Freetown, Sierra Leone, when he came down with Ebola symptoms on Nov. 6.

[Ted S.]

Kissy United? No wonder he caught somebody else’s disease.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

And people used to think Methodists were stodgy.

[Tonio]

First the presbyterians, now the methodists…

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Bah. We’ve got 80 quarantined military personnel in our town.

[Lord Humungus]

Read the Secret Emails of the Men Who May Run Hillary Clinton’s Campaign

Copies of a cache of the emails obtained by ABC News, and revealed publicly for the first time, show Mook and Marshall demonstrating an aggressive tone in rallying their friends behind political causes, in exchanges that are often self-mocking and sometimes border on being profane.

They include rallying cries to, in Mook’s words, “smite Republicans mafia-style,” and, to quote Marshall, “punish those voters.” Mook sometimes calls himself “Deacon” in the emails, while Marshall, now a senior White House aide, refers to himself as “Reverend” in many of the exchanges.

[Tonio]

“Mook…”

[Slammer]

We don’t pay mooks!

[Ted S.]

I’m sorry, the card says “Moops”.

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

If only we could treat them like the Mafia and RICO the lot of them.

[Lord Humungus]

Leaked Memos from Wendy Davis Consultants Warned of Major Problems

Cari and Dougherty continue in their sharp critique of Johanson’s leadership and decision making. “But because of you, the campaign is now so far off the rails that we doubt it is salvageable…your divisiveness, your dishonesty, your lack of attention to details, and your refusal to tap into the team’s expertise all lead us to one conclusion: things simply aren’t going to get better under your watch…Senior members of the consulting team have repeatedly remarked on how passive you’ve been. There is no planning, no message, no strategic vision, and no tactical roadmap.”

[Injun, as in from India]

I’ve cracked this joke before here on H&R, and I’ll say it again. The Wendy Davis campaign is summarized as:

Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail?

[Florida Man]

I thought it was “Square hamburgers for ALL!”

[John]

This is where Democrats pay a price for owning the media. A fair media would have never elevated Davis the way they did. They got stuck with a dog candidate because the media promoted one so much.

Sort of like how they got stuck with a dog President who is in the process of making them a minority regional party.

[Rich]

Israel lifts age limit on holy site access

The compound … is the holiest site in Judaism, while the al-Aqsa Mosque is the third holiest site in Islam.

Serious question: How are these “holiest” rankings actually done?

[Slammer]

Termites per square foot?

[Rich]

Nice.

I thought maybe the adherents fight about it.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

+1 follow the shoe!

[Mainer2]

It’s a sandal !

[Restoras]

-1 gourd

[Zeb]

Well, it’s pretty obvious why it is the holiest site for Jews.

What’s the #2 for Muslims? I think #1 is the Kaaba in Mecca.

[SugarFree]

Mosque of the Prophet in Medina.

[The Last American Hero]

The Illuminati has a selection committee.

[KDN]

Your bit of inside-the-beltway CW for the day:

Peggy Noonan: The Loneliest President Since Nixon
Facing adversity, Obama has no idea how to respond.

I have never seen a president in exactly the position Mr. Obama is, which is essentially alone. He’s got no one with him now. The Republicans don’t like him, for reasons both usual and particular: They have had no good experiences with him. The Democrats don’t like him, for their own reasons plus the election loss. Before his post-election lunch with congressional leaders, he told the press that he will judiciously consider any legislation, whoever sends it to him, Republicans or Democrats. His words implied that in this he was less partisan and more public-spirited than the hacks arrayed around him. It is for these grace notes that he is loved. No one at the table looked at him with colder, beadier eyes than outgoing Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid , who clearly doesn’t like him at all. The press doesn’t especially like the president; in conversation they evince no residual warmth. This week at the Beijing summit there was no sign the leaders of the world had any particular regard for him. They can read election returns. They respect power and see it leaking out of him. If Mr. Obama had won the election they would have faked respect and affection.

[Ted S.]

Doesn’t he just blame everybody else for his adversity?

[CatoTheElder]

Well, sometimes he blames climate change.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

The press doesn’t especially like the president; in conversation they evince no residual warmth.

But still they cover for him, make excuses, fog and obfuscate or ignore all on his behalf.

[Palin's Buttplug]

The press hates Obama?

She has Bushpig amnesia like the rest of Team Red.

[WTF]

Sure you wanna keep playing, shreek? The game’s always between you and getting called a cunt. That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a cunt to me, shreek. When you talk, your mouth looks like a cunt moving.

[TwB]

Obama is pretty much Chocolate Nixon. But at least Nixon was man enough to resign before he was impeached. Obama would have to be dragged out of the White House even if he was impeached (which won’t happen).

[Raston Bot]

Obviously racism.

[Slammer]

Venezuela’s Maduro cracks down on street markets

Authorities mostly turned a blind eye to the informal commerce, but late last month Venezuelan President Nicol?s Maduro went on TV to decree a ban on street sales of coffee, eggs, shampoo and some 50 other “regulated” items whose prices? are capped by the government. He ordered the National Guard to police market stalls for such items as mayonnaise and powdered milk, and threatened to prosecute recidivist violators.

Maduro says this standard type of markup is tantamount to “theft.” He blames Venezuela’s scarcities and soaring inflation on an “economic war” waged by business owners, shopkeepers and others allegedly trying to undermine Venezuela’s socialist government by hoarding, price-gouging and sneaking goods across the border for sale in Colombia.

“These right-wing contraband groups are still at work, with their anti-national and parasitic spirit, riding on the backs of the people and sucking their blood,” Maduro said Tuesday, assuring TV viewers that the government “had neutralized the perverse effects of the economic war” in 2014.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

He ordered the National Guard to police market stalls for such items as mayonnaise …

If it is artisnal mayo, sloopy approves.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

“These right-wing contraband groups are still at work, with their anti-national and parasitic spirit, riding on the backs of the people and sucking their blood,” Maduro Warren said…

/2017

[sarcasmic]

I know! I know! Let’s put a price cap on certain goods that people need! That way there will be no incentive to bring the goods to legitimate markets since there will be no profit to be made, and perpetual shortages will create black markets! Brilliant!

[Homple]

How do you say “kulaks, saboteurs, and residual bourgeois elements” in Spanish?

[sarcasmic]

http://bit.ly/1ukusoO

[John]

At what point does this end in genocide? Venezuela seems to be headed towards much worse than your typical Latin American socialist shit hole. Its turning into Cuba.

And never forget the Left all said Chavez was just a democratically elected leader who cared about poor people. I hope Joe from Lowell is having an even more miserable day than usual today.

[TwB]

Maduro is real close to going full Castro. I don’t know why this story is not getting more attention from the media.

[Idle Hands]

“I don’t know why this story is not getting more attention from the media.”

Really?

[TwB]

I know, the mass media doesn’t want to show anything that might be construed as foreshadowing.

[tarran]

Maduro has no successor… and I doubt he will come up with one.

My prediction is that it will end violently when either one of Maduro’s enforcers deposes him, or a right-wing coup overthrows the government.

My guess is that the former option is the most likely one; it’s how Stalin and Saddam Hussein came into power.

[John]

So they will trade a Castro wannabe for a Saddam or Stalin wannabe. You not giving me a warm fuzzy here tarran.

[Raston Bot]

At Venezuela’s current trajectory, they certainly won’t make it to the next election in 2019. What a socialist shithole.

[Injun, as in from India]

Maduro said Tuesday, assuring TV viewers that the government “had

TV. What TV?

Didn’t Chavez shut down a bunch of private, unfriendly, TV stations? So the only sh1t masses get to consume comes from the rectum of state-controlled media?

[John]

So the only sh1t masses get to consume comes from the rectum of state-controlled media?

That is a valid point Injun but this thread is about Maduro not Obama. Stop hijacking the threads!!

[Lord Humungus]

Bad sex in fiction award includes Booker winner among shortlist targets

Richard Flanagan’s Booker-winning novel The Narrow Road to the Deep North, cited by judges of that prize as an “outstanding work of literature”, has landed another, rather more dubious accolade: a spot on the shortlist for the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction award, for a passage in which the act of love is interrupted by a dog killing a fairy penguin.

“He kissed the slight, rose-coloured trench that remained from her knicker elastic, running around her belly like the equator line circling the world. As they lost themselves in the circumnavigation of each other, there came from nearby shrill shrieks that ended in a deeper howl,” writes Flanagan in a section of the passage marked out by the Literary Review as the reason for the novel’s inclusion in this year’s list of nominees. “Dorrigo looked up. A large dog stood at the top of the dune. Above blood-jagged drool, its slobbery mouth clutched a twitching fairy penguin.”

[waffles]

Sugarfree could best any of these chumps for worst sex in (hopefully) fiction.

[Crusty Juggler]

+1 insect wings

[Slammer]

I thought it was great up until “twitching fairy penguin”. That is stupid.

[invisible furry hand]

‘What do you want of me, Inana?’ … ‘I propose to unite with you.’

The Literary Review is tweeting the most appalling quotes

https://twitter.com/Lit_Review

[lap83]

That sounds more interesting than most sex in fiction.

[lap83]

which I consider to be an extremely low bar

[Crusty Juggler]

Pretty much anytime an author decides to great creative with vaginal euphemisms it is guaranteed to not be as sexy as they think.

Rose-colored trench made me laugh.

Or maybe that is my problem…either way, that is hilarious.

[invisible furry hand]

Rose-colored trench isn’t her vagina, but the indentation in her midriff from the elastic in her underpants. But it might as well be

[Crusty Juggler]

I understand that, but I stand by vaginal euphemism statement.

For example, Tom Robbins is one of my favorite authors, and when I read “”the half-shellfish half-peach that occupied the warm, watery bowl of her nether regions” I laugh, and that causes me to laugh each time an author attempts something similar, but with erotic intentions.

[lap83]

is there an erotic equivalent of purple prose?

[tarran]

Above blood-jagged drool, its slobbery mouth clutched a twitching fairy penguin.

Where the fuck is the editor?!?

It should be Bloody drool foamed down from its jaws. Something was twitching in its teeth. Dorrigo stared at the mess until he saw that the dog was holding a dying fairy penguin. It totally killed the mood.

[lap83]

or how about…they both looked at the drooling beast, then each other, then threw themselves at each other with even more passion than before.

At least it’s unexpected.

[John]

I pay no attention to things like the Booker Prize. Aren’t those prizes just leftists smelling each others’ farts and never involve any novels anyone actually would want to read? The kind of novels stupid people buy to display in their living rooms to show other stupid people how smart they are?

[SugarFree]

The key to bad writing is to avoid the short sentence.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

OK.

[John]

The long sentence is to writing what the 8 minute song is to the rock and roll song. Sure, there are a few real geniuses like Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd who could manage to make an 8 minute song interesting. When any lesser sort of genius tries it, you end up with Inagoddadavida or some Emerson Lake and Palmer song no one has listened to in 40 years.

Long sentences are the same way in writing. There are a couple of real transcendent geniuses like Falkner or Tolstoy who could pull it off. For everyone else, the rule is “don’t try this at home”.

[tarran]

You left out Iron Maiden from your list of geniuses…. /narrows gaze.

[KDN]

If that wasn’t Rime of the Ancient Mariner, I was going to track you down and insult you in person.

[tarran]

There’s more than the Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Eg, Hallowed Be Thy Name 😉

[John]

I said a few. Yeah, if you like heavy metal, Iron Maiden counts in that group.

[Slammer]

1:03:35

[Mike M.]

National Cathedral to host first ever Muslim prayer service.

WASHINGTON ? Washington National Cathedral is hosting a Muslim prayer service for the first time on Friday.

Planners say they hope Friday’s service at the historic cathedral will foster more understanding and acceptance between Christians and Muslims around the world.

The prominent Episcopal cathedral often hosts national events, such as presidential funerals, and has hosted Muslims at various interfaith services in the past. But planners say this is the first time the cathedral has invited Muslims to lead their own prayers there, which they call a “powerful symbolic gesture.”

That’s really great. So when will there be a Christian service at, oh say, the Masjid al-Haram?

ROFLMAO, how about the day after never, because we’re still just “infidels”. Understand and acceptance only ever go in one direction.

[John]

There is essentially a national Mosque about a mile down Massachusetts avenue from there. They should have agreed to joint serves at both or told the Muslims to go fuck themselves.

Nothing against the Muslims but this is really insulting. I wouldn’t expect Jews to allow a Christian service in a Synagogue and would frankly feel disrespectful attending one. What does this accomplish other than encourage Muslims to think they are superior?

[TwB]

John, you beat me to it. I was going to say, there is a Mosque just down the road from the cathedral. What the hell?

[Andrew S.]

When I was a kid, our Synagogue was vandalized by very confused people (they spraypainted the standard swastika, but they also spraypainted “You Worship Cows”. How do you get Jews and Hindus mixed up like that?), and the Roman Catholic church down the street put up a Star of David and allowed us to hold services there for a couple of weeks while everything was being cleaned up.

(Just an anecdote. Don’t mind me. I don’t necessarily have an issue with it being done, but it does but me that there’s zero chance it would be done the other way around)

[TwB]

Zero chance is right. It would not happen.

[John]

If the Temple down the street from me held a Christian Service, I don’t think I would go. It is disrespectful to their beliefs to pretend that it is all just one big God soup. Jews really do see things differently and while I don’t have to agree with them, I shouldn’t be down pissing on those beliefs either.

[Matrix]

Dude, a good brisket is divine.

[lap83]

They wouldn’t even allow a protestant service in that Cathedral.

[Mike M.]

What does this accomplish other than encourage Muslims to think they are superior?

That’s all that it does, and nothing else.

Every wild-eyed radical Islamist loon around the world is now going to believe that they’ve conquered the National Cathedral and it’s their property.

[John]

Which when you think about it is really cruel to Muslims. They are not superior and most of the world can’t stand them. In the US they really live a precarious existence in many ways. Encouraging the militants to think otherwise is not doing them any favors.

[Tonio]

Even though it’s a private organization, they view themselves as The National Place of Worship and have a long history of trying to be inclusive.

If the NC folks do this and no mosque reciprocates it sends a message.

[John]

Exactly. If they did a reciprocal service in the Mosque down the street, it really would be sending a message of tolerance. But to just do this, sends a message of submission and that is not a good message. Tolerance has to go both ways or is just oppression.

[CatoTheElder]

No surprise here … This is what happens when church attendance drops about 25% in a single decade, as it has for the US Episcopal Church. They are flailing about, trying to be relevant.

[CatoTheElder]

http://www.episcopalchurch.org…..3-2013.pdf

[John]

Meanwhile the evangelical churches keep growing. It is almost like people go to churches for answers or something.

[Injun, as in from India]

The proles are fighting back.

Remember, President Hope-and-Change sends his kids to an elite private school.

More D.C. students are attending highest-performing charter schools, ratings show

[Mainer2]

Can’t be. I have it on good authority that people are too stupid to make decisions about their children’s education.

[Fluffy]

The prog story will change to, “Charter schools are harming students because the most motivated students and families abandon the public schools.”

This will have the merit of at least being true, unlike most prog arguments.

As usual, the progs will fail to understand that liberating the motivated families and students from the human chaff the progs have shackled them to is entirely the point.

[Roger the Shrubber]

I have already heard that argument. Basically, ‘For the good of the collective we can’t let the best leave the collective.’

[Injun, as in from India]

+1 Berlin Wall.

Don’t let ’em leave!

[robc]

I have too…it was basically “with motivated parents, good students can get educated anywhere, so they need to stay in bad schools to help lift the students with unmotivated parents.”

[robc]

Totally utilitarian argument. They even admitted that the kids of motivated parents would do slightly less well, but that it would be more than set off in net.

Fuck Utilitarianism.

[Free Society]

It’s not even a valid utilitarian argument.

First, the total benefit to the low performers does not exceed the detriment to better performers.

Second, the premise itself puts the cart before the horse; that it’s a good students’ prerogative to increase the quality of their schools instead of the school’s responsibility to increase their quality, if they want to attract good students.

Thirdly, fuck utilitarianism.

[Slammer]

I had a private pre-school teacher tell me yesterday figuring out how to pay good teachers more is a no shit “humanitarian crisis”.

[robc]

Did you say “free market” would solve that?

[Free Society]

The prog story will change to, “Charter schools are harming students because the most motivated students and families abandon the public schools.”

That’s already a standard argument.

[Restoras]

Remember, President Hope-and-Change sends his kids to an elite private school.

Well sure but at least the school doesn’t have armed guards so their kids are just as exposed to lunatic gunman, right? Right??

[lap83]

Obama’s girls deserve more protection than yours. Their job is to…I don’t really know, but it’s important.

[Tonio]

Meh. The PPDs for family members should be paid for personally by the elected official. But it is not inconceivable that someone would try to influence a president by killing (incl threatening) or kidnapping a family member.

[Injun, as in from India]

Aren’t the President’s kids accompanied by the highly competent, law-abiding, Secret Service wherever they go?

[Injun, as in from India]

Transparency!

Gruber got paid $400k to save the dumb proles from their owwn stupidity.

[John]

Like I said yesterday, he wasn’t calling Republicans stupid. They were not the ones that hired him or supported the bill. He was calling the Democrats who passed it and their supporters stupid.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Gruber will never be reelected now.

[WTF]

Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ shit, or did you have to work on it?

[Injun, as in from India]

Yeah. It is totally going to suck.

We won’t have a condescending, arrogant, elitist intellectual to direct the chattel into a better direction.

We will have to wallow in our own filth, absent the guidance of our unelected and elected superior human beings.

[Sevo]

Palin’s Buttplug|11.14.14 @ 10:12AM|#
“Gruber will never be reelected now.”

Turd, tell us about how everyone’s going to sort of forget about O-care and it won’t have any effect on the elections!
I LIKE that story.

[The_Millenial]

Why feed PB?

[Sevo]

‘Cause I like lectures from self righteous twits.

[The_Millenial]

Sounds like a nasty habit haha

[Every Cop is a Criminal]

“They have the ability to fix the system,” Obama said. “What they don’t have the ability to do is expect me to stand by with a broken system in perpetuity.”

Stop lying to the American people, you useless piece of dog shit.

[Sevo]

Obama to call for investigation of Warren Buffett!
Buffett to call a press conference to berate himself for not paying more taxes!

“Buffett’s deal to buy Duracell a win for everyone — except the IRS”
[…]
“Berkshire has said that its cost for the P&G stake was about $336 million ? now cashed in tax-free at a value of $4.7 billion, replaced by a high quality, profitable battery business. This implies he might have avoided some $1 billion in potential taxes, the amount his company might have owed on the $3 billion-plus capital gain on the P&G shares.”

[Sevo]

Ooops, link: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/…..ureoF2GVB/

[John]

God Buffett is a piece of shit. I don’t blame him for working the tax laws or making money. That is and should be his right. But to do that and then actively try and get the rest of us to pay higher taxes is just loathsome.

[Sevo]

hypocrite

(1) A person who engages in the same behaviors he condemns others for.

(2) A person who professes certain ideals, but fails to live up to them.

(3) A person who holds other people to higher standards than he holds himself.

[Sevo]

Not you, John, but I think you know that.

[The_Millenial]

Yes, because that would imply John actually had ideals or standards.

[John]

If that is true, you should have a very easy time pointing out places where my standards and ideals change to further the argument. Good luck with that.

[The_Millenial]

John, I wasn’t really being serious

[John]

My apologies. I am often dense. Sorry about that.

[cavalier973]

And yet you berate other people who are also dense, you hypocrite!

[John]

I know what you meant Sevo. And Buffett is the worst.

[cavalier973]

Get your Hillary Clinton Nutcracker right here!

[John]

That is a really bad sign for Hillary. They wouldn’t be making something like that if a lot of people don’t find it funny. And if people find it funny, it means they view Hillary as a shrew and a bit of a joke. She can’t win the Presidency if culture at large views her that way.

[ritchbumpsyrg]

My classmate’s mother-in-law makes $73 every hour on the computer . She has been without work for five months but last month her check was $14391 just working on the computer for a few hours. why not try this out.
vi?????????sit hom?????????epage ????? http://www.jobsfish.com

[waffles]

That’s pretty good. But I absent two weeks of relocating I will be gainfully employed. This must be what getting older is like, I now leave jobs for better jobs instead of just to go skiing and fuck around the country.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

+1 ____ profit!

[Florida Man]

Support your local puzzle?

[Pope Jimbo]

I once dropped a class in college because it conflicted with a showing of Rockford files on a local TV channel.

I still think that watching Rockford was a better use of my time than taking that class.

[Raven Nation]

Possibly the best TV private detective ever.

[TwB]

Really random, yet excellent episode of South Park

[Crusty Juggler]

Thomas Magnum is clearly the best tv private detective there has ever been.