Political Identification

I'm a 'Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine'. What Are You?

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@robbysoave/Twitter

We've all heard of "The World's Smallest Political Quiz", but are you ready for the strangest? Then I suggest you check out the "5 Dimensional Political Compass", which has been making the rounds, to much merriment, on Twitter today.

Because the survey measures attitudes in five different political dimensions—collectivism, authoritarianism, internationalism, tribalism, and liberalism—and applies a corresponding label to each, it ends up generating some pretty silly-sounding results. I, for instance, was deemed a Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine. Reason magazine Editor-in-Chief Matt Welch got Right-Leaning Anarchist Non-Interventionist Progressive. Former Reason staffer Cathy Reisenwitz was labeled a Centrist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine.

@MattWelch/Twitter

While some of these terms may sound contradictory—conservative libertine? centrist anarchist?—it helps to remember that each label applies to a different political dimension. The quiz also gives you a score, from 100 percent to negative 100 percent, on your collectivist, authoritarian, internationalist, tribalist, and liberal tendencies.  Here's mine:

Before anyone goes getting all huffy about how this quiz is imprecise, meaningless, Buzzfeed-worthy drivel: Of course it is! It's also fun. Enjoy

NEXT: Midterms' Real Winner? Independent Voters and (Maybe) Fiscal Sanity

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  1. my friend’s step-aunt makes $83 /hour on the laptop . She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her pay check was $12802 just working on the laptop for a few hours. official website…

    ????? http://www.netjob70.com

  2. Strict utilitarian. And very few of you have utility for me.

    1. Oh, you’ll always have utility for me: I’ll need someone to throw to the starving peasant mobs while I escape from my palatial estate.

    2. I could totally use a fist to punch my opposition into submission.

      1. You know how to make a fist, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow.

        1. So I’ve been doing fistfights wrong this whole time? Dammit.

  3. Before anyone goes getting all huffy about how this quiz is imprecise, meaningless, Buzzfeed-worthy drivel: Of course it is! It’s also fun.

    Grumble, grumble, harumph!

  4. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Liberal

    That is useless. “Liberal”? I can kinda see where they got Conservative (on account of my “deep libertarian” leanings, that culture is critical and some are better than others), Anarchist (on account of I think government sucks, mostly), and Isolationist (no, we really shouldn’t just nuke our enemies and be done with it).

    But “Liberal”? I can’t think of a single question I answered that would support (modern-day) proggy fascist liberalism.

    1. Well, one of the other choices for the final label is Progressive so this might mean more classical liberal. I’m not sure how Libertine fits in there though

    2. It’s also entirely possible this is a random word generator.

      1. I’m going with that.

        1. Yeah.

          You are a: Conservative Libertarian Total-Isolationist Progressive

      2. Eh…

        If you put ‘Maybe’ on everything it says you are a

        Centrist Moderate

        probably not a random word generator.

    3. Why do you only have 4?

  5. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -100%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    *cracks beer*

    Cool story…

    1. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Nationalist Progressive

      Collectivism score: -67%
      Authoritarianism score: -100%
      Internationalism score: -83%
      Tribalism score: 17%
      Liberalism score: 67%

      1. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Traditionalist

        Collectivism score: -83%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -100%
        Tribalism score: 0%
        Liberalism score: -17%

        1. I like you.

          You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Traditionalist

          Collectivism score: -100%
          Authoritarianism score: -100%
          Internationalism score: -83%
          Tribalism score: 0%
          Liberalism score: -33%

          1. Damn I got the same thing. Then, after taking the quiz the cynical part of my brain kicked in and I wondered how much ENB is getting paid per click.

            Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Traditionalist

            Collectivism score: -100% Authoritarianism score: -100% Internationalism score: -83%
            Tribalism score: 0%
            Liberalism score: -33%

            1. Dang! Wonder if we answered all 30 the same.

          2. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Nationalist Moderate

            Collectivism score: -100%
            Authoritarianism score: -83%
            Internationalism score: -83%
            Tribalism score: 17%
            Liberalism score: 0%

    2. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive Rebel Scum

      Collectivism score: -100%
      Authoritarianism score: -100%
      Internationalism score: -100%
      Tribalism score: -67%
      Liberalism score: 67%

      1. You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor!

        1. The Force Awakens!

    3. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive

      Collectivism score: -67%
      Authoritarianism score: -83%
      Internationalism score: -100%
      Tribalism score: 0%
      Liberalism score: 50%

    4. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

      Collectivism score: -100%
      Authoritarianism score: -100%
      Internationalism score: -100%
      Tribalism score: -33%
      Liberalism score: 33%

    5. Collectivism score: -33%
      Authoritarianism score: -83%
      Internationalism score: -50%
      Tribalism score: -17%
      Liberalism score: 83%

      Not as pure libertarian as some of you, but I’m proud to have added my views to whatever stats their actually collecting.

      1. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Nationalist Reactionary

        Collectivism score: -100%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -67%
        Tribalism score: 33%
        Liberalism score: -67%

        1. Ooooh I like this one! I wonder how I have to answer to get reactionary!

          1. I assume the label comes from the corresponding score, so the 5th label comes from the 5th score, so Reactionary is likely from my -67% on Liberalism.

      2. “Not as pure libertarian as some of you, but I’m proud to have added my views to whatever stats their actually collecting.”

        That would probably be your credit card account information.

  6. A society is judged by how it treats it’s most vulnerable citizens

    Incorrect “its”. Quiz invalidated.

    1. Must we have this conservation again? I’m putting you on my list.

      1. conservation

        Poe’z Law? Or Pose Law?

        I got my eye on you, Shrubber….

        1. Auto-correct. It’s one hellofa bitch.

    2. My problem with this item is that it’s not asking me about my opinion.

      Would probably have given them the answer they wanted if the item was worded differently:

      A society should be judged by how it treats it’s most vulnerable citizens

      or

      I judge society by how it treats it’s most vulnerable citizens

      As it is worded in the quiz, I don’t see how anyone can reasonably say ‘no’, except by second-guessing the quiz writers. Maybe I should have done so…

      1. Yeah, for instance I do agree a society should be judged by how it treats it’s most vulnerable citizens. What else could be more important than taking care of people who need help?

        I just don’t think it shouldn’t be the government doing so.

        1. Woops double negative there in the last phrase. Meant to say: I just don’t think it *should* be the government doing so.

  7. I am an Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine

    1. Check out my score below. We almost overlap, except for the Total in the Total-Isolationist part.

      And no, I’m not hitting on you or catcalling you online.

      1. Male gaze! Patriarchy!

      2. And no, I’m not hitting on you or catcalling you online.

        Why not? Are you just too tired today?

      3. Jeebus! Harrass much, injun?

    2. Wait, how am I not a Libertine?

      Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Progressive

      1. You were not on enough hard drugs when you took the quiz.

        1. I’ll have to try harder.

      2. Actually, I missed the negative on the Euro question first time around, so I am a Total Isolationist.

        Collectivism score: -83%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -100%
        Tribalism score: -67%
        Liberalism score: 67%

    3. I am Objectivist Libertarian Non-Interventionist Nationalist Progressive

      WTF is the Progressive coming from?

      1. Progressive as opposed to traditionalist

        I’m considered a “traditionalist” because even while I fully support drug use, right to die, etc., I generally believe our current culture narcisstic, decadent, and toxic.

    4. If you didn’t get Cosmopolitan you did it wrong.

      1. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    5. A fellow traveler!

  8. Anyone else notice the website is Somalian? Figures….

    1. We’re all being trolled by the Somalis…

      1. But as I have oft been told, as libertarians WE R SALAMIs

  9. “You are an Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine”

    It’s a fair cop.

    1. And Kristen is apparently my soul-mate.

      1. Nice!

      2. New business idea: political eHarmony!

    2. As an Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Liberal, I have to say that I’d never associate with one your kind.

  10. What the hell is an “isolationist cosmopolitan”?

      1. Right, but that seems a little contradictory. Am I a contradiction? I’M AN ENIGMA.

        1. Wrapped in a mystery. Wrapped in bacon.

          1. Someone on Twitter (Vox writer Dara Lind) got “anti-government socialist”

            1. Funny thing is, socialists with all their state fellating actually do believe they have an anti-authoritarian brand. Take Noam Chomsky, for painful example.

              1. I saw a fascinating documentary about some dude studying the language structure of some isolated tribe. His theory of their language was in direct contradiction to Chomsky’s theories. Chomsky and his acolytes were absolute vile in their criticism of this guy. They called his ideas insane and ridiculous and all that. Seems like Chomsky has a strong cult following.

                  1. Here’s an article about the guy.

                    Read the article….I never really thought of or heard of Chomsky as a foremost authority in linguistics. He’s a well-known name sure, but far more credit belongs to far less recognizable names than his. To my knowledge, Chomsky is best known within linguistic circles as a theorist of language acquisition while most of the heavy lifting in the general field was done by people like William Labov, who’s not prominent enough for a Daily Show interview.

                    1. I didn’t know that Chomsky was known as a linguist, either, before I saw this documentary. The article implies he’s kind of the king & king-maker in that field, though.

                      It’s been said that if you want to make a name for yourself in modern linguistics, you have to either align yourself with Chomsky or seek to destroy him.

                    2. The article implies he’s kind of the king & king-maker in that field, though.

                      I’m fairly well-read in the field of linguistics, it’s one of those academic areas I know should be boring but I can’t help but take an interest. But I’ve never heard of Chomsky described as the godfather of the field by actual linguists. I think he’s just the only linguist that laypeople could identify as linguist.

                      You could think of him like Stephen Hawking is with physics. He’s a well-known name and popularly regarded as something of a brain-in-the-jar prodigy, but within the field he falls far short of being king, contrary to what a Discovery Channel close-up of his drooling face would have you believe.

                1. I don’t think Chomsky is necessarily a bad linguist and I even applaud some of his work in the area of international law and foreign relations. But his economics are appallingly bad and his domestic policy preferences are extraordinarily logically inconsistent.

            2. Had a friend in grad school he described himself as a “libertarian eco-socialist.”

              1. I hope your friend took a good slap to the face before graduation.

                1. Nah. I learned to just let academics say whatever they wanted. My goal was to create subversion in the classroom and bring the structure down from the inside.

                    1. Still working on it. But I’m probably one of the few history profs who discusses Murray Rothbard and FA Hayek in a freshman World History class.

                    2. You and Thomas Woods at least.

        2. I wanted an argument. You’re merely contradiction.

          1. Am not!

    1. Isolationist Cosmopolitan is someone who sips a Cosmo while talking geopolitics and insists we should be at home sipping cosmos and not bombing others.

    2. I’m an Anarchist Total-isolationist comsotarian!

    3. Seriously, I think it’s someone who doesn’t want their government meddling in other countries, but is happy to let foreigners in, and presumably mix it up with them. (Sexually.)

  11. I found my true soul mate love match on this site.

  12. Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    1. Its just a freakin’ word salad. Anarchist Progressive?

      They may as well have called you a Libertarian Democrat.

    2. I am more intrigued with Anarchist Cosmopolitan.

      So, an anarchist that lives in a gated community?

      1. There are machine gun nests atop the gate.

        And the gate is to keep the orphans in.

        1. +1 Hunger Orphan Games

    3. Me too…wtf am I?

    4. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

      :fistbump:

  13. Our nation should eliminate all foreign aid and spend that money on other things

    Um, do I answer maybe?

    1. I caught that too. Why is it always “and spend that money on other things”? How about letting people keep their own money?

      1. Because everything belongs to the government, including what they let you keep.

        1. Not giving is taking, and not taking is giving.

    2. You noticed that too, huh?

      It needs a period after “aid”, or change the part after “and” to “reduce taxes”.

      Besides “all” might be a bit strong. Dumping MREs or such into Afghan villages after we clobbered the Taliban in ’01/02 might have been ok, so long is it was just an interim step to stave off starvation until NATO or the UN stepped in to stabilize the place for a couple of generations. But then, I always was a soft touch.

      1. Yeah, that was my “maybe” as well. Sending US aid to post-tsunami SE Asia does not particularly trouble me. Decade after decade of aid to the same countries; yeah, that would be a problem.

        1. But the question is, did that reflect in my poor score for collectivism or internationalism?

        2. Meh…still not the gov’s job. Lots of private aid went out there, much like Haiti after the earthquake.

          1. Agree. I’m just saying I could live with emergency aid for catastrophes if that was all we were doing.

    3. Well I was thinking that Hookers and Blow counted as other things so I was still good with it.

  14. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive

    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    Some of the questions were not Yes/No/Maybe answerable.

    1. Correction: You are a: Objective Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive Pedant.

  15. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    COSMO!? ARGH! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

    1. I knew there was always something about you that I disliked.

      😉

    2. Ugh, i too was smeared with the Cosmopolitan brush.

      I got the same except Isolationist instead of Total-Isolationist.

      Collectivism score: -83%
      Authoritarianism score: -83%
      Internationalism score: -50%
      Tribalism score: -33%
      Liberalism score: 17%

  16. You are a: Right-Leaning Libertarian Non-Interventionist Humanist Moderate

    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 0%

    At least I got 0 percent on liberalism.

    1. I suspect the only place I would be considered a moderate is on Reason.

    2. I think it goes from -100 to +100? Dunno… just asking.

      1. Yep – see para after the Welch Twitter capture.

  17. You are a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Liberal
    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -50%
    Tribalism score: -50%
    Liberalism score: 33%

    I ended up answering ‘Maybe’ to a lot because they were too black/white. Real life is complicated.

  18. You are a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Non-Interventionist Nationalist Progressive
    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: 17%
    Liberalism score: 50%

    You know who else was a nationalist?

    1. I knew it.

    2. You know who else always had to have the first word?

      1. You know who else chastised people?

    3. Captain America?

  19. I got Anarchist Reactionary Running-Dog Revisionist Hindu Muslim Catholic Creation Evolutionist Be-Bop or a One-Drop or a Hip-Hop Lite-Pop Metalist Gold Adult Contemporary Urban Country Capitalist.

    1. But really a Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Liberal, which sounds 100% accurate.

  20. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal
    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 33%

    I’m thinking some of those words don’t mean what the person who made the quiz thinks they mean.

    1. We got the same thing, except I wasn’t “Total-Isolationist,” just “Isolationist.”

    2. Clearly you’re a closet anarchist.

  21. At this rate, I’m never getting any of the Orange Kool-aide

    You are a: Socialist Pro-Government Total-Isolationist Nationalist Libertine
    Collectivism score: 67%
    Authoritarianism score: 17%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: 33%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    1. ::points:: There’s the door!

      1. She can stay. She’s a libertine, and a she.

    2. Agent Orange maybe.

    3. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you comment on some of the feminist sites. Are you the same SusanM?

  22. Anybody who thinks that individuals should be free to make choices for themselves should feel free to call themselves libertarian.

    And I should feel free to call cultural conservatives who want to use government to inflict their preferences on the rest of us under the guise of libertarianism a bunch of bleeding, pustulous warts on libertarianism’s ass.

    1. You got: Socialist Total-Isolationist Libertine Pustulous Wart.

      1. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

        Collectivism score: -67%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -50%
        Tribalism score: -33%
        Liberalism score: 67%

        An anarchist progressive?

        A cosmopolitan isolationist?

        These terms are so self-conflicting, they’re meaningless.
        They should have stuck with the terms (or their opposites) in the scores.

        That would make me a Capitalist Libertarian Isolationist Cosmopolitan Classical-Liberal–and get rid of a confusing term like “Progressive” to mean “Classic-Liberal”.

    2. Without disagreeing with you, I’d like to add that avoiding inflicting your preferences on the unwilling is much easier said than done once you’re no longer talking about philosophical principles and actually trying to come up with policy. Avoiding it requires a lot of introspection and honest conversation and is hard no matter which side you’re on.

      1. Easy — just stop making “policy” and leave people alone.

      2. If we’re making choices for ourselves, generally, there’s little need for a policy. I’m making my own policy!

        If government has any legitimate function at all, it is to protect our rights, and “our rights” is our right to make choices for ourselves (about speech, religion, gun ownership, and everything else).

        Thus, policy should mostly concern things like procedural issues on how the courts sort things out when people’s rights overlap and conflict with each other. Policy might include questions about foreign policy–how best to protect our rights from foreign threats.

        So, anyway, I don’t see policy as being hard to formulate within those parameters–so long as you respect those parameters. It’s just that government has to stay out of areas where it doesn’t belong–and there’s the rub.

  23. Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Liberal

    1. Queer straight heterosexual homosexual vagina/butt-pirate.

      1. I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

        1. Sure but it’s written in a kind of obscure language that you probably haven’t heard of.

          1. Korengali?

          2. I have Google Translate …

      2. Go on…

  24. Right-Leaning Anarchist Humanist Liberal

    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 33%

    Uh-oh, I think I just outed myself as a tepid non-non-interventionist.

  25. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Non-Interventionist Ultranationalist Traditionalist
    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: 100%
    Liberalism score: -33%

    What does that word salad even mean?

    1. I think we just found the underlying code for anonbot.

    2. That’s great, it starts with an earthquake
      Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

      Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
      World serves its own needs, don’t misserve your own needs
      Feed it up a knock, speed, grunt, no, strength
      The ladder starts to clatter with a fear of height, down, height
      Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
      And a government for hire and a combat site
      Left her, wasn’t coming in a hurry with the Furies breathing down your neck

      Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
      Look at that low plane, fine, then
      Uh-oh, overflow, population, common group
      But it’ll do, save yourself, serve yourself
      World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
      Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
      You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
      Feeling pretty psyched

      1. Where’s Leonard Bernstein?

        1. The other night I dreamt a nice continental drift divide
          Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
          Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs
          Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
          You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right? Right

          1. Right!

  26. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Liberal

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 17%

  27. This is me, supposedly.

    You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine
    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -50%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    1. You, me and Kristen apparently need to get together for a threesome.

      1. Oh, wait. You’re just a run-of-the-mill Isolationist, not a Total-Isolationist. The orgy is off.

      2. Cool. I will become bisexual for that one special day.

        1. Sorry, if there’s one thing that turns me off sexually, it’s non-Total Isolationism. That and dicks.

          1. How can we all be libertines without liking dicks?

            1. I don’t think anybody likes Bo.

      3. That’s a Devil’s Threesome!

        1. The wobbly H.

          1. Is that anything like the Eiffel Tower? I just learned of its existence yesterday.

            1. The Eiffel tower involves touching the other guy, so totally gay.

              /NTTAWWT

  28. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive
    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    Progressive?! I feel insulted.

      1. Then we have the beginnings of a movement. We must make the world safe for the existence of objectivist anarchist total-isolationist humanist progressives, no matter what these other obstructionists may say.

  29. I suspect that many of you who claim to be Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines are not true Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines.

    1. The quiz needs a few more questions to find the true Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines.

      1. How many times do I have to tell you there are no true Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines.

        1. I thought is was that there are no female Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines?

    2. There you go again with the No True Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine fallacy.

    3. The real question is would you vote for someone that is a Objectivist Anarchist Non-interventionist Humanist Libertine? or do they need to be more ideologically pure.

      1. The real question is would you vote for someone that is a Objectivist Anarchist Non-interventionist Humanist Libertine?

        Only if the Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine Party wasn’t running a candidate.

  30. Anarchist reactionary running dog revisionist
    Hindu muslim catholic creation / evolutionist
    Rational romantic mystic cynical idealist
    Minimal expressionist post-modern neo-symbolist

    Arm chair rocket scientist graffiti existentialist
    Deconstruction primitive performance photo realist
    Be-bop or a one drop or a hip hop lite pop metallist
    Gold adult contemporary urban country capitalist

  31. You are a: Conservative Libertarian Non-Interventionist Humanist Progressive
    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    ORLY?

    Some of those questions are hard to answer. I might be something different later in the afternoon.

    1. I took it again and entirely eschewed “Maybe”.

      You are a: Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Progressive
      Collectivism score: -67%
      Authoritarianism score: -100%
      Internationalism score: -33%
      Tribalism score: -67%
      Liberalism score: 67%

      Take it from a Conservative Libertarian/Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Progressive, this quiz is more reliable than I thought!

    2. As a Conservative Libertarian Isolationist Progressive, I’d invite you for drinks but I don’t like leaving the house.

  32. “Conservative Anti-Government Non-Interventionist Nationalist Liberal”

  33. Back when Balko had his own blog, he had a guest blogger whose description of his ideology sounded a lot like this crap. I’ll see if I can find it.

  34. I think I should be checked for Multiple Personalities.

    Right-Leaning Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive
    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 50%

    1. So you like cocktail parties. Who doesn’t?

  35. Bleeding-heart libertine? Okay.

  36. News you can use:

    Illegal License Plate Covers Help Scofflaws Avoid Fines

    The “PhotoMaskCover” and similar products polarize light so that plate numbers and letters are clearly visible from directly behind a car. But when viewed from an angle, the characters are obscured. Because cameras at toll bridges, tunnels, and intersections are often positioned from a side angle, the plate covers can help scofflaws slip through E-ZPass lanes and run red lights without fear of being tracked down for their transgressions.

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/inve…..52591.html

    Oh, and for the punchline:

    Last month the I-Team spotted a black SUV parked outside the NYPD 103rd Precinct in Queens with the illegal covers obscuring both front and rear license plates. On the dashboard, a makeshift placard read “PO DiFalco 103 Pct Shield 24212”

    1. Well, if it’s good enough for the NYPD, I’ll definitely buy a couple.

    2. I feel like smashing those things whenever I see them.

  37. Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive

    I’m so confused.

    1. BuSab, you magnificent bastard!

  38. One of us! One of us!
    Gooble, goble! Gooble, goble!
    One of us! One of us!
    Gooble, goble! Gooble, goble!
    One of us! One of us!
    Gooble, goble! Gooble, goble!

  39. No, *reason*, I don’t think it’s a particularly good time for.me to buy a Volkswagen Jetta. Sheesh.

  40. You are a: Objectivist Libertarian Isolationist Nativist Traditionalist

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: 67%
    Liberalism score: -33%

    Yup.
    Now get off my lawn!

    1. We Non-Interventionist Nationalists will crush you dirty Isolationist Nativists!!

      Objectivist Libertarian Non-Interventionist Nationalist Traditionalist

      Collectivism score: -83%
      Authoritarianism score: -67%
      Internationalism score: -33%
      Tribalism score: 33%
      Liberalism score: -17%

  41. I am a Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Progressive. Does that mean we can be BFF ENB?

    1. No because your a non-interventionist.

      1. ENB: “I’m an Isolationist.”

        Me: “I’m a Non-Interventionist.”

        ENB: “You monster!”

    2. We just better not talk foreign policy

  42. I KNEW ENB was a libertine.

      1. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine

        ENB, these are terms typically attached to libertarians in order to smear them haha.

        “Conservative”: Progressives will say libertarians are really just conservatives in disguise.

        “Anarchist”: Libertarians don’t want government to work because they don’t believe in it and want it to collapse.

        “Isolationist”: They want to retreat from the world and give our enemies free reign to plot against us.

        “Humanist”: They have a fundamentally atheistic philosophy that places the laws of humans over the dictates of the divine.

        “Libertine”: They don’t care about morality and promote a lifestyle based on satisfying base pleasures via drug use, sex, etc.

  43. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine
    Collectivism score: -50%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 100%

    1. We can mostly be friends. Mostly.

  44. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -50%
    Liberalism score: 67%

  45. Where is the public roads question!?!!!

  46. Conservative Libertarian Interventionist Nationalist Reactionary

    I am most proud of the reactionary part. There are not many of us out there. It is why I drink Old Fashioneds, because they don’t make a reactionary.

    1. And all but two of my numbers are negative.

      Collectivism score: -50%
      Authoritarianism score: -50%
      Internationalism score: 17%
      Tribalism score: 17%
      Liberalism score: -50%

    2. Mmmmmm… Muddled old fashion.

      1. They are a fine drink. I can’t figure out what questions made me a reactionary. I guess maybe the one about thinking the decline of the family is a bad thing. Does anyone but socialists think that is a good thing?

        1. Just socialists and Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertines

          1. So people who had fucked up family lives growing up and haven’t gotten over it?

            And I am pretty sure Cathy Reisenwitz is the only person I have ever seen who described themselves as “libertine” and “sex positive” that I would want to have sex with without it being a thousand dollar dare. She must be queen of the swingers parties.

            1. I think your riff on Cathy just answered your “Why Reactionary?” question.

              1. I didn’t say there was anything wrong with that. I am actually not happy at all that there are so few “sex positive” women out there who look like Reisenwitz instead of an escape from the Manson Family.

        2. I answered yes to 1 and maybe to 2. I’m a “traditionalist.”

        3. I also said decline of family is bad. Probably why I got conservative

          1. The test fails in that it assumes that you actually are what you think makes for a good society. So it assumes that you are a traditionalist and a moral scold in your personal life because you think society is better off if people have families and such. That isn’t necessarily true.

            1. Right. I think families are good. I don’t want to force that on anyone. I also don’t want to punish non-traditional families.

              1. Yeah or even if you understand families are generally a good thing and better for most people, doesn’t mean you think they are right for you.

                I don’t think we should reward or punish anything. Life has a way of punishing bad decisions such that people figure out the right ones on their own.

              2. I don’t want to force families on anyone, but it would be great if we wouldn’t reward people for being poor (read: single) with 100 kids.

            2. Yeah, I think I’m a “traditionalist” because I believe that kids fare better with two parents than just one. Obviously, we’ve evolved past the need for kids to have families, including fathers that will teach them not to be gang members and feminazis. But I can’t get my fuddy duddy brain out of the past, man.

        4. It’s like how someone at Reason wrote an article about little kids swearing like sailors while regurgitating feminist cant. They had to throw in a disclaimer about not being socially conservative for objecting to the video, despite any normal person who is not a proggie moron seeing that kind of thing as being in bad taste.

          1. What I took away from that video was that with a little coaching, you can give a 7 year old girl the same level of education you can get with $150,000 at prestigious university.

            1. And it’s worth $0 without the formal degree.

              With the formal degree it will get you a waitressing job at most sit down restaurants.

              1. Nuh uh. Waitressing reinforces the patriarchy. Customers and restaurant employees should meet equally in a non-hierarchical social interaction.

    3. Congrats on being the first reactionary in the comments?

  47. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    COCKTAILS, anyone?

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    I dunno….I dunno.

  48. not that anyone gives a shit:

    You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Nationalist Liberal
    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: 17%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    Nationalist? Meh – sort of…

    and obviously old-school Liberal

    1. *looks over comparative scores*

      I think we can be friends. Must be the Michigan thing…

      *extends hand*

      1. *looks suspiciously at hand, wondering what the catch is*

        1. *hands Lord H a cocktail, cause I’m a Cosmo – it’s made with gooooood vodka…*

          1. I’m ready to join the Cosmo camp if the drinks are good.

  49. For even taking the test we should have all registered a 100% tribalism ranking.

    1. I’m personally going with 100% FUN-HAVING!!!

        1. *Butters voice*

          Aw, hamburgers…

  50. Looking at all of these Conservatives, I can only sadly conclude that Bo was right — we are all ditto heads, indistinguishable from Limbaugh and Hannity. I vote that we create a time machine and send everyone who got Cosmotarian as a result back in time to abort us before we were born.

    1. I thought that was shriek?
      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! CHRISTFAG!

      I don’t think the word in this context means what shrieky poo thinks it means…cause I is a “liberal”, too.

      A conservative liberal? Huh?

    2. Tony, is that you?

    3. Bah!

      I actually got true Libertarian …

      Well, me and John …

      Oh.

  51. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal
    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    NO, NOT COSMOPOLITAIN!!!?!!?!11! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

    1. Here, I’ve already poured the cocktailz, fellow Coz.

      1. Well, if I’m gonna do this, it better be pink and fruity.

        1. Ya know who else was pink and fruity?

          1. HR Pufnstuf?

  52. First they came for the Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine and I said nothing because what the fuck does that even mean?

  53. Objectivist Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Libertine

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -50%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    I think I got the best combo personally.

    1. Non-Interventionist? If you ain’t Total-Isolationist, you ain’t shit.

      1. I’m apparently shit, then.

        You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive

        Collectivism score: -67%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -100%
        Tribalism score: 0%
        Liberalism score: 50%

        I’ve never been called a progressive before. It feels kind of icky.

        1. … Conservative?
          /turns up nose

          You ain’t shit unless you’re an Objectivist Total-Isolationist!

          You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive
          Collectivism score: -100%
          Authoritarianism score: -100%
          Internationalism score: -100%
          Tribalism score: 0%
          Liberalism score: 67%

          1. Samesies

            Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive

            Collectivism score: -100%
            Authoritarianism score: -100%
            Internationalism score: -100%
            Tribalism score: 0%
            Liberalism score: 50%

  54. I took it for Weigel

    You are a: Communist Totalitarian World-Federalist Nativist Traditionalist
    Collectivism score: 100%
    Authoritarianism score: 100%
    Internationalism score: 100%
    Tribalism score: 67%
    Liberalism score: -33%

    1. lulz – was thinking ^^this for shriek or Choney. Might need to expend the calories to check it out…

  55. Centrist Anarchist Total Isolationist Bleeding Heart Libertine

    Collectivism score: 0%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -100%
    Liberalism score: 100%

  56. I’m a: Objectivist Libertarian Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Libertine
    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    I would nit-pick a few of the questions because they can’t be clearly read as support or opposition to specific policies. For instance, does “A society is judged by how it treats it’s most vulnerable citizens” mean yes to welfare handouts, or just yes to due process for people targeted by police actions?

    Similarly “My country is inherently better than other countries” is certainly an oversimplification for anyone who believes something close to it. Instead I would ask whether “My country’s culture”, “My subculture”, “My religion”, or “My country’s economic system” are inherently better than any alternatives. I would say yes to two of these and no to the others.

    1. Exactly. Or the question about if a country should base its laws on its values and religion. Well, maybe. It depends on the values and the religion. Some of the worst governments in history were claimed to be based on “reason”. It really all depends on the details. But if you say anything but no to that you get tagged as some kind of a religious traditionalist.

  57. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -50%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    I wish for one final radio button list so I could choose “Maybe” for this.

  58. Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -50%
    Liberalism score: 83%

    1. YOU? A libertine?

      Pshaw!

      1. I was flabbergasted. But that might have been the Freon I was huffing.

  59. Hit and run has not acheived Peak Facebook.

  60. I took it again and changed some answers – now it says I’m “Frankenstein’s Monster”.

    Probably cause I checked BREAD GOOOOD! and FIRE BAAAAAAAD!

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hah!

  61. Elizabeth, do you get a raise cause click bait?

    1. She should get a bonus for it not mentioning abortion or millenials.

  62. GILMORE:

    YOU ARE A NIHILIST

    Collectivism score: 0%
    Authoritarianism score: 0%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: -0%

    1. To be fair, i just held a button down until the browser crashed

    2. So that means Tony thinks you are the only real libertarian here.

      1. Pshaw! You mean other than Bo?

    3. Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

    4. Nihilist? Fuck me. Say want you want about the tenets of Objectivist Anarchist Non-interventionist Humanist Libertinism, at least it’s an ethos.

      1. Wow. Beaten by nine minutes. That makes me an Objectivist Anarchist Non-interventionist Humanist Libertine Asshole.

    5. Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.

  63. For what it’s worth:

    You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Moderate
    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -83%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 0%

  64. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 67%

  65. If you click with none of the questions answered:

    You are a: Centrist Moderate

    Collectivism score: 0%
    Authoritarianism score: 0%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 0%

  66. If you choose not to decide, you still have chosen “Maybe”
    All maybes:

    You are a: Centrist Moderate

    Collectivism score: 0%
    Authoritarianism score: 0%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 0%

    1. YOU CLICKED APATHETICALLY
      CLICK HARDER
      AND IT WILL APPRECIATE
      YOUR EMBRACE OF NOTHINGNESS

      (also, hold down ‘alt’. I dont know exactly what it does but i think it involves ‘refusal to conform to arbitrary social mores’)

      1. I clicked “view source” and it redirected me to a youtube of The Matrix Reloaded.

  67. Right-Leaning Anarchist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

    Collectivism score: -17%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: -100%
    Liberalism score: 100%

    I answered a lot of the international questions as “maybe” because they weren’t specific enough and I tended to have conflicting gut reactions. I assume that also dropped my collectivism score. But my anti-authoritarian and anti-tribalism scores ring true for me. Tribalism is a terribly irrational argument to the point it offends me, and it’s always one of my biggest gripes about Ron Paul.

    Bleeding heart is probably accurate. I don’t see an inconsistency between between being a laissez-faire An-Cap and also thinking that it might be nice to give other people some assistance. I’ll more be more open-minded to gripes about welfare when they come from a position that, like libertarians, also points out the waste and inefficiency of Medicare, Ex-Im Bank, or the Pentagon.

  68. Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Bleeding-Heart Progressive

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -83%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    I’m a ‘conservative’ and a ‘progressive’ at the same time. Score!

    1. Typical millenial, completely unprincipled.

  69. The wording of some of the questions in this quiz drove me insane, but I managed to get through it

    Objectivist Libertarian Non-Interventionist Cosmopolitan Traditionalist

    I don’t always go to cocktail parties, but when I do I only drink Old Fashioned.

    1. Cosmos are good drinks!

  70. Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Traditionalist
    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: -17%

    Meh. At least I’m not a libertine. That’s just ew.

    What’s the fine line between a bon-vivant and a hedonist-libertine anyway?

    1. What’s the fine line between a bon-vivant and a hedonist-libertine anyway?

      Wearing one of those hats you can drink beer out of.

        1. How would you know the sizes of orgies and what’s the difference between swinger parties and orgies?

          If you plan to answer you’re in the wrong industry.

          Just. Saying.

          1. Swinger parties have rules and are more classy. I thought this was common knowledge.

          2. what’s the difference between swinger parties and orgies?

            Consecutive vs. concurrent.

          3. “what’s the difference between swinger parties and orgies?”

            At a swinger party everyone teams up.

            At the other , there’s one guy left over saying “Orgee, there no one left for me!”

            /TY Bennie Hill

            1. That’s not funny.

          4. See ENB? This is why you don’t engage with the commentariat.

            1. She had to know that question would generate a response.

              Perhaps, she’s trying to change the perception of libertarians. Instead of being the “Republicans that smoke pot” we can be referred to as the “Republicans that enjoy engaging in orgies or at least talking about them”.

              Isn’t that a service in and of itself?

              1. +1 spouse

  71. “Of course it is! It’s also fun. Enjoy.”

    For a person tagged as a libertine, you need to get out more.

  72. Took it for shriek. He got:

    Necrotic Auto-Felching Un-Sentient Derp HurrrrrrrrrrrDurrrrrrrrrrrrr

    Collectivism score: 100%
    Authoritarianism score: 100%
    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH score: -100%
    TEAM score: 100%
    Living in mom’s basement score: 100%

    1. Screaming for his meatloaf: 100%

      1. Who wants Cake?: 373%

    2. I took it for Tony…

      You are a: Communist Authoritarian Interventionist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

      Collectivism score: 100%
      Authoritarianism score: 50%
      Internationalism score: 17%
      Tribalism score: -83%
      Liberalism score: 100%

      1. You screwed up somewhere. Less than 100% on authoritarianism? That ain’t Tony. (Unless Republicans are in power.)

  73. I got Rapunzel? Maybe I’m doing this wrong.

    1. Crap. Wrong page. Okay, I think I got it now.

      I’m a Feminazi Transvestite Psychedelic-Addled Progtard Libertine.

      1. Crap! One more time:

        Right-Leaning Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Libertine

        Hmm. Maybe I got it right the first time after all.

        1. Fuck. Now I’m getting Belle again. This thing is a joke.

          1. INFP. Finally!

  74. Libertarian humanist. Or humanist libertarian, depending on my mood…

  75. I’m a Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive. And OT, we are still not worthy of Obama:

    http://www.nationaljournal.com…..n-20141105

    The title is misleading as to the content.

  76. Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    Definitely just a random word generator. How can I be cosmopolitan and isolationist? What kind of God would allow that? It’s like letting the ace be 1 and 11.

    1. Looks like I’m not the only one who is unprincipled haha.

    2. All right thinking people know that the ace SHOULD be 1 and 11.

    3. You can be cosmpolitan in that you believe in engagement with other nations, but isolationist in that you don’t believe in *forcibly* intervening in their affairs.

      1. IOW, you believe that nations have the ‘right’ to allow the ace to be 1 and 11 and, even though they’re wrong, you’re not going to invade to set them right.

  77. Wtf is with some of these questions: Some nations are poor because of their culture or values

    What does that have to do with my politics at all?

    1. If their culture is socialist, they’re probably poor.

  78. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 33%

    I think the test might be broken… 😀

  79. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 50%

    ConservAnarcoIsoCosmogressives of the World Unite!

  80. Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Libertine

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 83%

  81. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Non-Interventionist Progressive
    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    I searched the entire page for “Non-Interventionist Progressive” and the only match was Matt Welch.

    1. I’m not sure how you can get ‘progressive’ without a high ‘collectivism’ and ‘authoritarianism’ scores.

      1. Me, neither… but I did

        You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Progressive
        Collectivism score: -100%
        Authoritarianism score: -100%
        Internationalism score: -100%
        Tribalism score: 0%
        Liberalism score: 67%

      2. In Somalia you can!

    2. I’m classified as a Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Bleeding-Heart Progressive, so I’m not very far off.

      The biggest difference is my -83% tribalism score

  82. My George Costanza Profile:

    You are a: Socialist Totalitarian World-Federalist Ultranationalist Fundamentalist

    Collectivism score: 67%
    Authoritarianism score: 100%
    Internationalism score: 100%
    Tribalism score: 100%
    Liberalism score: -100%

  83. I is a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -100%
    Liberalism score: 100%

    1. That’s hardcore.

  84. A lot of you guys sure have ‘progressive’ as part of your result.

    I don’t even know who you are anymore.

    /Narrows gaze. Points fingers at eyes. Gingerly walks backward out of room.

  85. The pre-Hit & Run me…I kinda like it, especially the Ultranationalist part.

    You are a: Objectivist Anti-Government Isolationist Ultranationalist Fundamentalist

    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -17%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: 83%
    Liberalism score: -100%

  86. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 50%

    If this survey had a face I’d punch it.

    1. Welcome to the Progressive Club

      1. I consider objectivist, isolationist, cosmopolitan and progressive to all be fightin’ words. The survey could have called me a cocksucker and I’d respond more positively (cocksuckers of all sexes are doin’ God’s work).

        1. Is “Cocksuckin’ Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive” better for you?

          1. No, now it just sounds like a well-read Deadwood character is reading it.

        2. These two white cocksuckers killed him… and stole the dope he was bringin’ to you?!

          1. Swegin kill San Francisco cocksucka!

  87. Here: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Liberal”

  88. You are a: Right-Leaning Libertarian Nationalist Liberal
    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: 17%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    I answered an awful lot of Maybe’s because too many questions came down to, “It depends on the circumstances”.

    1. Very close to my result, but I was a Humanist Moderate Right-Leaning Libertarian. I also answered a lot of maybes.

  89. I’m the same ENB, Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine

  90. Fuck, first question is loaded. What’s a “traditional family”.

    Two gays, married, working for a living that have a child and go to the PTA meetings could be a ‘traditional family’.

    1. #8, loaded question.

      1. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Liberal

        Collectivism score: -50%
        Authoritarianism score: -83%
        Internationalism score: -50%
        Tribalism score: -67%
        Liberalism score: 33%

        Hmm, a lot of loaded questions I answered maybe to.

  91. All Maybe’s:

    You are a: Centrist Moderate

    Collectivism score: 0%
    Authoritarianism score: 0%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 0%

    1. You did that for fun, right?

      1. Yes. But that is what came back (if you’re asking if I made up the scores).

        I also chose opposite my leanings up above @3:18 (though I was more strict and took out the Maybes I originally had).

  92. Uh oh… I’m a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Interventionist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: 33%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    …I don’t think that spells well for me.

    1. Yeah, I think being known as an ‘Interventionist Liberal’ will be a problem.

  93. Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

  94. Left-Leaning Anarchist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

    Collectivism score: 17%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: -100%
    Liberalism score: 100%

  95. Conservative libertarian isolationist humanist liberal, whatever the hell that means.

  96. Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Nationalist Reactionary

    Fuck it. I’m off to load some .223’s and bury a case of canned peas.

  97. No questions about gay marriage, no questions about federalism and states’ rights, no questions about the proper role of the Supreme Court, and no questions about rights/privileges based on gender or race?

    These seem like pretty glaring omissions to me.

  98. Conservative Anarchist Total-Isolationist Humanist Progressive

    Don’t think Progressive or Conservative means what they think it does.

    Lot of maybes because of wildly questionable framing of questions.

  99. NAZI Space-Alien Troglodyte Transvestite Megalomaniac…

    I do NOT know how I got THERE!!! And I resemble yer “labeling” me that way! I am a semi-intelligent and sentient ORGASMISM, not a LABEL, dammit!!!

    1. Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Nationalist
      Moderate. So, same as you I reckon. Cheers!

  100. Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Humanist Libertine

  101. Things as stupid as this quiz shouldn’t even be covered. This quiz, like most of them out there, are vastly worse than the simple Nolan chart they attempt to “refine.”

    My results:
    You are a: Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Humanist Liberal
    Collectivism score: -67% (I’m against coercive collectivism, but in favor of voluntary collectivism, in some arenas, where it’s highly useful, such as open source software.)
    Authoritarianism score: -100% (This is the only one they got right.)
    Internationalism score: -33% (Bullshit. My coercively-imposed internationalism score is -100%, my voluntary internationalism score is 100%)
    Tribalism score: -67% (Hah! Same as Brown.)
    Liberalism score: 17% (Yeah, if coercive socialism is jumbled into the term liberalism, this is true.)

    –This quiz was idiotic in the extreme. It contained several internally-self-contradictory ideas bundled into single questions. Worse still, it didn’t differentiate between using force and not using force when asking the questions. I would have answered half the questions differently if they were not phrased as governance questions, sloppily worded to be ambiguous as to whether the solution they proposed was collectivist or not.

  102. My personal values are “classical liberal,” my politics are libertarian. For example: I don’t care whether the traditional family exists or doesn’t exist at all, but I strongly oppose coercive efforts to get rid of it, or to preserve it, because both accomplish nothing but evil. In the USA, there has been some political effort to destroy the traditional family, so those family members of mine who have traditional families have had to resist. The unconventional, nontraditional family members I have have had to resist coerced conformity.

    On the balance, I personally prefer a society that has a perfect natural distribution of both very weird, and very conventional and traditional. When I’m being nursed back to health after being sick, I prefer a nice Christmas dinner, but when I’m exploring fringe experiences, I prefer an orgy full of cocaine and bisexual teenage girls. So long as either are in the voluntary sector, I have no problem with either. However, efforts to impose one or the other on the unwilling should be resisted to the death. Yet this push-poll quiz for idiots doesn’t differentiate, and doesn’t define terms that are so popularly abused and misused as to be utterly worthless.

  103. When my cells are dividing, I hope they follow the “tradition” of the prior cells. In that sense, I’m a traditionalist, because errors in cell replication usually don’t work out well. However, I’m open to throwing that entirely out the window on the advent of Drexlerian nanotechnology. How can this view be categorized in this quiz? It cannot. The quiz is worthless, time-wasting.

    The human species is too stupid to live, too incapable of prioritizing what’s really important. The people who made this quiz are firmly in that tradition, the tradition of not asking any of the right questions.

  104. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Progressive

    A conservative progressive, eh? Keep the good stuff and find better stuff, I say!

  105. I am a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Isolationist Nationalist Liberal
    Collectivism score: -33%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -67%
    Tribalism score: 17%
    Liberalism score: 33%

  106. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Progressive

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 67%

    Gee, I had no idea.I’m only -33% Tribal? How is that?

  107. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Reactionary

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: -67%

    What does this mean?

    1. Did any member of the H&R tribe not get “Anarchist” as one of the descriptors?

    2. It means your dick is three sizes too small.

  108. You are a: Right-Leaning Anarchist Non-Interventionist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -17%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    1. I completely agree with this survey and have no idea what it means.

  109. Conservative Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Liberal

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -50%
    Tribalism score: -33%
    Liberalism score: 17%

    This test is a load of bollocks.

  110. Communist Pro-Government Multilateralist Bleeding-Heart Libertine

    If this is me, it’s the perfect ideology. Everyone take note and adapt.

    1. Collectivism score: 100%
      Authoritarianism score: 33%
      Internationalism score: 67%
      Tribalism score: -83%
      Liberalism score: 100%

      1. I think you were robbed on your authoritarianism score.

  111. I can live with these results!

    You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Nationalist Liberal

    Collectivism score: -100%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -100%
    Tribalism score: 17%
    Liberalism score: 33%

    1. I’m pretty close…

      You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Total-Isolationist Cosmopolitan Libertine

      Collectivism score: -83%
      Authoritarianism score: -100%
      Internationalism score: -100%
      Tribalism score: -33%
      Liberalism score: 100%

  112. You are a: Conservative Anarchist Interventionist Progressive

    Collectivism score: -50%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: 33%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 67%

  113. I’m not sure what this load of gibberish means exactly. Some of the questions were poorly worded or purposely obtuse.

    You are a: Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Libertine

    Collectivism score: -67%
    Authoritarianism score: -100%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: 0%
    Liberalism score: 100%

  114. You are a: Communist Pro-Government Humanist Libertine

    Collectivism score: 83%
    Authoritarianism score: 17%
    Internationalism score: 0%
    Tribalism score: -67%
    Liberalism score: 100%

    1. Up late polishing your Order of Lenin?

  115. That is one poorly worded “quiz”.

  116. You are a: Objectivist Anarchist Isolationist Cosmopolitan Traditionalist

    Collectivism score: -83%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -50%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: -17%

    OK?

  117. Conservative Libertarian Isolationist Nationalist Moderate here.

    The questions are flawed in that they often juxtapose conflicting concepts. Eliminate foreign aid AND spend it elsewhere? NO! Eliminate foreign aid and reduce the government budget by a corresponding amount. ‘Hate speech’ should not be protected? Who defines what hate speech is? Base our laws on religious values ‘like the 10 commandments’? I’m OK with don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t lie, but I can’t see throwing a man in jail for creating a statue or calling his father an SOB. And don’t get me started on Sharia law. I could go on (and on . . .) but I won’t.

  118. I didn’t read the comments, so maybe someone said it already, but that’s the most poorly worded survey imaginable. Like, it had to be purposely made that bad.

    Example question: “I think government should get rid of all foreign aid and spend the money on other things.”

    How do you answer that? I think we should eliminate foreign aid but not spend the money on anything else. Do I answer Yes,No,or Maybe?

  119. Conservative Libertarian Non-Interventionist Nationalist Moderate

    Collectivism score: -50%
    Authoritarianism score: -67%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: 33%
    Liberalism score: 0%

  120. This is what I got:

    You are a: Conservative Anarchist Non-Interventionist Cosmopolitan Libertine

    Collectivism score: -50%
    Authoritarianism score: -83%
    Internationalism score: -33%
    Tribalism score: -17%
    Liberalism score: 100%

    So where is my Libertarianism Score?

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