Petitioning

Feds' Petition for a Day Off Likely to Be Granted; Petition to Pardon Snowden Still Unanswered

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whitehouse.gov

The White House petition website "We the People" long ago proved itself a predictable charade of sham accountability. But federal employees are trying their luck anyway, petitioning President Barack Obama to give them a(nother) day off on December 26. The Washington Post reports:

The petition…asks the administration to "Declare an executive order for all executive departments and agencies to be closed 12/26/2014, for a four-day weekend."

While the rest of us poor sods will be at work nursing our eggnog hangovers, the feds are hoping for a longer holiday to help them recover from a taxing year of reading our emails and taking our money. From the petition:

Federal Employees have dealt with pay freezes and furloughs over the past few years. Giving federal employees an extra holiday on Dec. 26th, 2014 would be a good gesture to improve morale of the federal workforce.

As of writing, the petition is still 60,000 signatures shy of the 100,000 threshold required for the White House to respond. The petitioners will probably get what they wish for, however, even if the minimum isn't reached in the next few weeks. Like George W. Bush, Obama has a history of giving feds time off during the holiday season.

Obama also granted a petition in 2012 asking for a government Christmas Eve holiday. And that's just one of 150-odd petitions the White House has responded to on a range of topics that deeply affect the future of our polity, such as whether to institute the metric system, how to address pet homelessness, and whether to build a Death Star.

But the administration has been reticent when it comes to petitions that, you know, address issues that matter. Like the one demanding a pardon for Edward Snowden, to which the White House has yet to respond more than a year after it reached 100,000 signatures. GMO labeling might be bunk, but a popular petition on the subject from 2012 also continues to gather cyberdust waiting for an administration response.

When there has been a response on a pressing topic, such as marijuana legalization, the White House has remained laconic and evasive. Or it just downright misleads, as when the administration responded to a petition demanding a right to opt out of Obamacare by promising, again, that "if you like your plan, you can keep it."

If you're thinking of submitting a petition a grade above beer brewing or the Lunar New Year to The Most Transparent Administration Ever, you might be better served closing your eyes tightly and just hoping for change.

NEXT: 2014's Willie Hortons: Hysterical "Soft on Crime" Campaign Ads Make a Comeback

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  1. I want to do even more for federal employees, by giving most of them 365 days a year off.

    1. But think of all the porn they could be watching if they had to “work”!

    2. I’ll sign that, and give all of them the full 365 days off every year.

    3. Throw em all in the meat grinder on 12/26 and we’ll have lazy worthless sausage for new years!

  2. FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN. I will blame the GOP Senate Majority Leader.

  3. I think in general the U.S. is pretty stingy with “bank holidays”. All my Euro friends on Facebook are always posting about “mini getaways” during some fucking day off or another. I think they’re out for the whole week of Xmas, FFS.

    Of course, it is Europe, and therefore one of the most unproductive continents on Earth.

    1. I think that Murikans have much less Holidays than most other countries.

      1. And that long, dark stretch between Prezznit’s Day and Memorial Day (or between New Year’s Day and Memorial Day for some private sector workers). It sucks.

        1. Try getting a hold of someone in Zurich anytime between, oh, say New Year’s Day and Easter….ain’t gonna be easy.

        2. The one that strikes me as long is the one between fourth of July and Thanksgiving. I mean there’s labor day, but that’s about it.

          I swear that Brazil has 20x more holidays than the US. Also, if there’s a big football game in town, no one will show up for work and employers just expect that. It’s sort of like coon hunting season in Alabama.

          1. Try getting something scheduled for the opening of deer season in many other states,

    2. Amazing that companies don’t want to have to actually pay their employees when they aren’t working.

      Next thing you know, they’ll be asking employees to show up on time too.

      FASCISTS!!

      1. Next thing you know, they’ll be asking employees to show up on time too.

        Try getting IT employees to do that on a regular basis.

    3. At my company, we get the whole span of time off between Christmas and January 5th. Fortunately, that counts as “holiday” and not “vacation”, so the Euroweenies can still concern-troll us about how little vacation time we Americans get.

  4. Giving federal employees an extra holiday on Dec. 26th, 2014 would be a good gesture to improve morale of the federal workforce.

    We could just give each of them a swift kick in the pants. That was my grandfather’s preferred reward for slackers and malingerers.

  5. Another popular petition that went unanswered was the one for Texas to secede. You’d think he’d be happy to get rid of a red state.

  6. How about taking a paid vacation day? They get a lot of those, right?

    1. 15 days to start, 4 weeks after 3 years, and 25 days after 15 years — plus another 10 days of ‘sick leave’.

  7. Based on years of service a Fed earns between 104-208 hours of paid vacation a year. Anything over 240 hours is deemed “Use or Lose” and must be taken, or lost.

    If you get 26 december off, you don’t have to take any of your own precious leave.

  8. Wait, since when do fed-workers *not* get Dec26th off?

    In my time in the Navy the only time you were working on DEC26 was if you had duty.

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