Free-Range Kids

Mom Demands Law to Force Kids to Wear Bright Clothes

|

Life jacket
Life jacket / Public Domain

Mel Finnemore, a mom of four in the U.K., is trying to get the government to pass a law requiring all children to wear brightly colored coats or bookbags. Her goal is to increase kids' visibility, thus preventing accidents. To this end, she organized a parade of school children in hi-viz outerwear, telling the press, "I want to get the message across to children that it is 'hip and happening' to wear high visibility jackets."

Because there is nothing more hip than a parade of school children led by a mom. According to the Rutland Stamford & Mercury:

"Some children think horses are cool, others think that of bikes, so I'm trying to show them that it's cool to wear bright jackets like the professional men and women do.

"I want it to be made law for children to wear bright clothing in winter. It would save many lives."

The paper reports that after she wrote to the local member of parliament, Alan Duncan, he wrote back saying he can "certainly support the concept of high-visibility bags " but that he would "not be in favour of any form of compulsion."

free-range-kids

Huzzah huzzah, because here's the thing: The mom is clearly right about the value of bright clothes, and I even sometimes think how dumb I am to be wearing your standard-issue, so hip-it's-boring black clothing (sorry Nick!) as I pedestrian my way around New York City. But make this mom's safety sensibility a law and what happens? We arrest the parents of kids in camouflage? Do teens rebel by wearing dark brown? Should we place children in foster care who show up to school in plaid skirts and dark blue sweaters? Good bye, preppies!

Maybe the next step would be to insist all kids wear bright orange uniforms. That would certainly streamline the school-to-prison pipeline, too. How's that for a win/win?

NEXT: Brian Doherty on Smartphones Vs. Taxi Drivers

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. And they shall be compelled to wrap up in bubble wrap with a kevlar blanket over it!

    1. A neon yellow kevlar blanket, you monster!

  2. “I want to get the message across to children that it is ‘hip and happening’ to wear high visibility jackets.”

    How far we’ve come. Back in my youth, I was trying to convince my mother that wearing Cross Colours clothes was hip and happening.

    1. If my life had been a sitcom, after she saw the price tag, she would have assured me it was not happening.

      1. Everything that happened did happen, everything that will happen will happen, but not everything that is happening is happening.

    2. Feed this woman some McDonald’s from her favorite artisanal foodie truck and I guarantee she’d be raving about how “pure” and “authentic” it was.

      There’s nothing more pathetic than the status-signaling SWPL, except for the fact that their relentless striving and hand-wringing is now considered normal behavior.

      1. Not everything that hipsters like is pure affectation.

        1. Yes, they are.

  3. so much for my “dressed in black phase”

    1. Well you wonder why I always dress in black
      Why you never see bright colors on my back
      And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone
      Well there’s a reason for the things that I have on

      I wear the black ’cause Mommy doesn’t care
      She’s off smoking reefers somewhere over there

      1. LMAO. Longfellow would be proud.

  4. Maybe the next step would be to insist all kids wear bright orange uniforms. That would certainly streamline the schoolprison-to-prison pipeline, too. How’s that for a win/win?

    FTFY

  5. So that’s how sci-fi fashion came to be – it was regulated into existence.

  6. She won’t be happy until all the kids are wearing hi-vis striping on their Obama Youth brown shirts.

  7. I think a safer measure would be to ban the Target store logo from clothing.

    1. +1 Gabby Giffords

  8. Isn’t hi-viz orange a gang color?

    1. Well, it is the gang color for the police gangs in the UK.

  9. I want it to be made law for children to wear bright clothing in winter. It would save many lives.”

    Mom logic…mom knows best…mom is the law.

  10. At least she practices what she preaches.

    Maybe she’ll come around to “CC would save many lives”.

    1. The next school shooter won’t overlook those two little targets.

      1. The UK doesn’t have school shootings or gun crime of any kind, because guns are illegal.

        1. Oh, that’s right. Silly me.

          1. But they have knives. You can throw knives at targets. It’s a fun hobby. Thunk.

    2. The worst part about that picture? Considering it’s Britain, that mom is probably only 15.

  11. “Some children think horses are cool, others think that of bikes, so I’m trying to show them that it’s cool to wear bright jackets like the professional men and women do.”

    Hey, good for you. Lotsa luck with that.

    “I want it to be made law for children to wear bright clothing in winter. It would save many lives.”

    Hey, go fuck yourself.

    1. Professional men and women? Bitch, I’m an attorney, I don’t wear no Hi-Viz orange.

  12. For the flamboyant children.

  13. Orange is the new black

  14. my best friend’s mom makes $83 /hr on the internet . She has been fired for 10 months but last month her payment was $17805 just working on the internet for a few hours. read this…

    ????? http://www.netjob70.com

  15. Ideas so good they have to be mandatory…

  16. I’m just so glad that this if from the UK. Nothing like this could ever happen here.

    1. “Nothing like this could ever happen here.”
      ———————
      The MP actually declined to make it a law. So, yeah.

  17. It’s always refreshing to see that unfettered ignorance isn’t isolated to just the US liberals.

    1. Nah. We’re really just catching up to Britain there.

  18. Knock-knock at your front door
    It’s the fluorescent organic cotton secret police
    They have come for your uncool niece

  19. To be fair she’s utilizing government for the exact purpose it was created for. To regulate others based on what you feel is best for them and if they deviate you can use dim-witted thugs to legally assault and jail them. The example has been set and she’s merely performing like the noble subordinate she is. Praise modern society, boo.

  20. If everyone is wearing brightly colored clothes, then won’t they just blend in to the crowd?

  21. “I want it to be made law for children to wear bright clothing in winter. It would save many lives.”

    Oh, and have you seen the new line of child sized safety clothing my company is manufacturing?

    1. Funny how the conscience of our soul – artists – are silent about freedoms RIGHT NOW.

  22. How will the kids hide from the prying eyes of pedophiles?

  23. Spot on except for the apology to Nick. He and his jacket are incapable of being boring.

  24. Are they putting something in the fucking water over there? The limeys have gone completely nuts.

    I agree Lenore, instead of black pajamas we should require all children to wear bright orange jumpsuits. In order to keep track of them we could have issue each an ID number and have it printed on the jumpsuit in large black digits. While we are at it we should also mandate state approved haircuts. And shoes…uniform, state approved shoes.

    Wasn’t there a recent discussion over there about having govt ration food to everyone in order to combat obesity? The children should also carry around cards with their daily food allotment listed, keeping a check on what they have consumed and what they have not yet consumed. That is gonna create jobs because now we need citizen patrols to ensure compliance and regularly check those cards….

  25. ” I even sometimes think how dumb I am to be wearing your standard-issue, so hip-it’s-boring black clothing (sorry Nick!)…”

    Worst picture of Nick ever

  26. Great article. I love what you write, Lenore.

    But I actually laughed out loud when I clicked on the google image search. Thank you for that. It isn’t often I am laughing out loud at something on here that is intended to be funny. Thank you.

  27. Is ‘pedestrian’ even a verb? Perhaps you were looking for ‘perambulate’.

    But then, what would be wrong with the simple ‘walk’?

  28. Can you have some spare time to sit back in your chair having your laptop with you and making some money online for some interesting online work said Jenny Francis in the party last nightsee more what is for you there to increase your pocket money??.

    http://shorx.com/clickforsurvey

  29. When are we going to stop pussyfooting around the REAL issue? The main contributing factor to children’s low-visibility is their lack of HEIGHT. A society that doesn’t mandate stilts for all under-thirteens is a society of neanderthals who does not care for their children! /sarcasm

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.