Neuroscientists Win Nobel, Supreme Court Considers Unreasonable Search, St. Louis Symphony Gets 'Requiem for Michael Brown': A.M. Links


  • This year's Nobel Prize in medicine will go to American/British scientist John O'Keefe and Norwegian scientists May-Britt Moser and Edvard Moser for their research on how brain cells communicate. 

  • The Supreme Court is back in session today. First up: Heien v. North Carolina, concerning a traffic stop that led to a drug-trafficking arrest and the extent of Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable search and seizure. 
  • Demonstrators visited the St. Louis Symphony Saturday, unfurling banners and performing a "Requiem for Michael Brown" during the show's intermission. The demonstrators, who had all purchased symphony tickets, then left the theater chanting "black lives matter." (See video here.)
  • The average American gives about 3 percent of his or her income to charity; the most generous live in Utah and attend church regularly. 
  • About 70,000 people gathered in Paris, France, yesterday in support of les valeurs traditionnelles, such as denying homosexual couples legal access to fertility treatments. 
  • In Oregon, strip-club dancers and employees are working with state legislators to draft new regulations for the industry. 

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NEXT: Requiem for Michael Brown: 'Which Side Are You On?' Ask Demonstrators at St. Louis Symphony

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  1. In Oregon, strip-club dancers and employees are working with state legislators to draft new regulations for the industry.

    Which side is making it rain more?

    1. We should encourage workers and their patrons to cooperate like this!

    2. A classic case of regulatory capture?
      I expect they’ll require training, licensing and guild payments to keep out new entrants into the market. There is going to be a steady increase in the age of dancers after this.

      1. Then people will blame market failure and demand even more regulation.

    3. Actual strip club owners have no say in the matter.

    4. What a waste of time. So the state legislature is going to mandate checking ID’s or something? Stripper licensing is never going to happen. Stripping is protected under the state constitution’s expansive free expression clause.

  2. This year’s Nobel Prize in medicine will go to American/British scientist John O’Keefe and Norwegian scientists May-Britt Moser and Edvard Moser for their research on how brain cells communicate.

    Which will then be used to enhance the pilot-to-drone interface for the CIA. Nobel!

    1. As far as practical application goes, Uncle Joe is on the edge of his seat awaiting the clinical trials…

  3. “This year’s Nobel Prize in medicine will go to…”



  4. So much derp in one article…

    This is our new Constitution: How we fix gun rights, the Supreme Court, inequality ? and foster true democracy

    Let us close, then, by repeating democracy’s first principle: Government exists to help as many as possible. What is the alternative? Corporate amorality? Unpoliced exploitative greed? A “survival of the fittest” libertarianism inviting heightened class tensions and violent reaction? Granted, the new Constitution of the progressive’s fantasy will not happen anytime soon. But perhaps we can start by directing our elected officials to take up the kinds of conversations people actually want to hear taking place in Washington. Remind them that their job is to improve the lives of the many.

    Now don’t you worry, conservatives. Even if fairness is pursued on a massive scale and the income gap narrows through laws generated by new constitutional requirements, partisan identity is not going to disappear and socialism is not going to take the place of capitalism. We’re way past that. What we need to keep before the public eye is the existing education (and happiness) gap and all the implications that flow from there. An informed and caring citizenry is a republic’s greatest protection. So let’s talk.

    1. Let us close, then, by repeating democracy’s first principle: Government exists to help as many as possible.

      No it’s not. I’m not reading anymore if you don’t even know what democracy is, Salon.

      1. Democracy fixes everything. Just see how much better it is for the Iraqis now.

        1. Neither democracy nor the desire to help as many as possible has ever led to anything bad.

          1. Never not once nuh-uh!

      2. Democracy is 2 wolves and 1 sheep deciding what is for supper.

        1. Stolen, thank you.

      3. Democracy is one of those words used in political discourse that means precisely what the writer intends it to mean. Whenever one encounters the word democracy in modern political writing, at least when used in a positive context, one should be suspicious of the writer’s intellectual honesty. Unless the writer is explicit in his peculiar definition of democracy, it is almost certain that whatever follows is intended to deceive the reader. The writer’s intention is propaganda not information.

    2. An informed and caring citizenry is a republic’s greatest protection.


      1. An armed and suspicious/cynical one is better.

        1. I’d even take an armed, caring, informed and suspicious citizenry.

          1. Nice – I’ll go with that, Zeb.

          2. If you’re informed and you care, you tend to be armed and suspicious.

    3. Anyone that can speak seriously about government and its role in solving the “happiness gap” obviously didn’t study history or philosophy outside of Zinn, Kant, and Marx.

      1. I’d be a lot happier if I could pay less in taxes, easily start a small business, distill alcohol and grow some weed in my back yard. Government could help with that.

        1. But it won’t.

        2. Government could help with that.

          By not being involved at all.

          1. Kulak! Wrecker! Teathuglihadistarian!11!

        3. I’d be a lot happier if I could pay less in taxes, easily start a small business, distill alcohol and grow some weed in my back yard.

          No, you only think you would be happier but true happiness comes from helping others so government must correct your wrongthinking for your own good.

        4. And play online poker.

        5. Colorado can give you one out of four…used to be able to give you three but hey, California moved in.

      2. The hell does Kant have to do with it?

        1. Other than introducing relativism, denigrating certainty, elevating sacrifice in service of “duty”, and providing the philosophical underpinning for Engels and Marx?

          Of all Rand’s work, dismantling Kant’s “Pure Reason” is the most important.

        2. Every “ethics” class I’ve seen is heavy on Kant and taught by the most dishonest fuck on the university’s staff. Not an indictment of Kant per se but certainly not a positive indicator, either.

    4. Government exists to help as many as possible.

      Wow. That is really, painfully stupid. Even if you are all for a strong safety net/welfare state, it is still desirable to have the government helping as few as possible.
      These people really are useful idiots, putting out shit like this so the politicians they support can get more and more control over more people’s lives.

  5. the most generous live in Utah and attend church regularly

    does the 10% tithing count towards this?

    1. that’s really more of a tax paid to the Big Guy, isn’t it?

      1. Taxation without representation

        1. Taxation without damnation.

      2. the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

        But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money!

        1. Until the middle ages hell was cold not hot.

          1. Global warming. Is there nothing it can’t do?

      3. It’s voluntary.

        If it’s voluntary, it’s charity.

    2. Churches are charities, so yes.

      Are very few Mormons tithe. More tham any christian denomination, but still very few.

      1. I thought Mormons had to tithe in order to be able to receive Temple Ordinances.

        1. No idea. But how many do?

          1. I’ve never been Mormon, so I wouldn’t know. But I thought the Mormon church more or less knew which members were tithing and which weren’t.

            1. It would explain their giving rates being higher than Protestants.

    3. If you look at the state rank:…..ow/149169/

      Is it only church giving that tips the scale?

      1. Only?

        No. But a big part of the difference.

        Within Christianity, Catholicism is at the bottom of the giving and the more evangelical/charismatic denominations are at the top. AoG is tops, IIRC.

    4. You sound like a progressive when you ask that.

      Only giving that I like counts!!!

  6. Eric Holder marries his former stepmother Elisabeth Lorentz in France after winning court case…..75108.html

    1. I hope the article got their ages wrong. By looking at them, I figured they were in their 60s.

    2. something… something… ugly stick

    3. Eric Holder seems to have used Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon.

  7. Hands up, drop the doughnut: Police chase down stolen Donut Land truck

    The chase took place after a delivery driver for Donut Land stopped his van on Southwest Fifth Avenue in downtown Portland so he could make a delivery of pastries.

    He left the 2004 Chevy Astro van unlocked with the keys inside, and at some point it was stolen.

    As a Portland police officer was taking the report, another officer spotted the stolen van heading east on Powell Boulevard across the river.

    The officer activated his overhead lights as he positioned his patrol car behind the van, but the driver – later identified as 34-year-old Peter Johansen – didn’t stop and led the officer on a chase.

    1. Talk about a motivated pursuit…

      1. You’re just a member of the bigorati.


  8. Colombian Woman Who Put Potato in Vagina for Contraception Hospitalised after it Grew Roots…..on-1468356

    1. I blame the Teathuglicans.

    2. Strangely enough, that’s not the first time I’ve heard of that.

    3. I sense a new “My Favorite Contraception is Potato!” meme.

    4. I’m assuming they were mashed not baked.

    5. I think the woman misunderstood how it is that potatoes are an effective form of birth control – she just has to hold the potato between her knees.

  9. You drive a better car than me! ‘Homeless’ elderly panhandler caught driving off in a brand new car

    Daniel Ayala handed money to elderly woman in Oklahoma City daily
    She claimed to be a 78-year-old widow too poor to afford food
    He passed by and saw her behind the wheel of a 2013 red Fiat
    One day he even missed lunch to give her $4, he raged at her
    Video shot by another passer-by who had been duped by the beggar…..-Fiat.html
    There was a guy working a sign on a median at the entrance to a little mall where I went to get some McDonalds for breakfast. I asked the woman behind the counter about him, and she said her manager had offered the guy a job. He refused.

    1. Panhandling is a good racket. You can probably assume that the really charismatic ones with a good story go home to a nice apartment.

      1. This guy travels. A couple years ago he was on the median at a mall closer to home, and made the mistake of telling his version of his story to the local paper. Naturally they investigated, and found that the guy was totally full of shit. He claimed to be a homeless vet who had lost everything in a fire, and it turned out he was living comfortably in a home with a family and two trucks. Never was in the military, never lost anything to a fire, and certainly wasn’t homeless.

        He was never seen on that median again.

        1. There was a recent news story in my area: the news man followed a panhandler after they were done at their corner. Turns out the guy with a sign held up by his wheelchair was lying about his disability, etc. etc. Next few weeks, same corner, new guy, new sign, with the semi-caveat on it “not everyone lies.”

          1. Someone here once posted about a woman in a wheelchair who panhandled near them, along with her cat on a leash. IIRC, she did OK until she was seen getting out of the chair to untangle the cat leash from her wheels. I think the story ended with her being hit by a truck

            Anyone recognise this as their anecdote?

            1. Sounds like a nursery rhyme.

          2. I remember the first time I was in DC. We passed by a woman begging as she doddered on a walker. My dad didn’t give her anything. She mumbled something as we passed. We looked back and she was walking normally, keeping the walker lifted a half foot off the ground.

    2. There are a few panhandlers in the area working right outside stores and restaurants which have “Now Hiring” signs on their windows.

  10. NYC Poop News Update:

    NYC’s premier bike sharing operation, Citi Bike, has apparently been on the receiving end of an unwarranted smear campaign. While New York City’s casual bike-riders rested sweetly in their beds on Friday, an unnamed perpetrator walked around a Midtown Citi Bike stand and wiped feces all over everything.

    According to a report in the New York Daily News, the shit-smearer was caught on surveillance cameras across the street at 1:25 a.m. on Friday morning. The station, on 45th Street near 8th Avenue, was targeted by the poop-smearer, who was carrying a “full bag of feces.”

    1. It’s organic, so no biggie

    2. Serves those white gentrifiers right.

      1. that article is hysterical.

        1. With the help of a $6 million grant from the JPB Foundation ($3 million of which is to be spent in Philadelphia), the city has made a commitment to accessibility and equity in one of its core components. (The other $3 million will go toward creating a set of national best practices for bike share, among other things.)

          $3 million bucks to establish best practices for bike sharing. Suckers are born every minute.

          1. Capital bike share 2013 user demographics shokingly 80% white with 80% making 50 grand and up 45% making over 100 grand.

            Why doesn’t anybody who is poor use the bikeshare?

            1. Maybe they don’t know how to ride a bike. If they grew up poor and in an urban area, they probably didn’t get a bike for Christmas and even if they did there is nowhere to ride it. If you grew up poor in a rural area you probably do know how to ride a bike but you are also probably still there. Affluent kids in the burbs get bikes as a matter of course. They learn to ride when they are young and back in the day they went everywhere on them (less so now). So, why is it surprising that only affluent whites sign up for bike sharing? I think women don’t ride them because affluent women probably think it is unflattering to them – and they’d be right.

    3. Those Citi Bike douches suck. They believe the smug that surrounds them as they ride their pansy ass bikes makes them immune to traffic laws.

      1. Are they worse than people who ride their own bikes?

        1. Those that ride their own have a little less smug, so, yes, but not by much.

    4. All the news that’s fit to shit

    5. The bike share programs in cities have to be one of the dumbest waste of resources I’ve seen.

    6. *Details*, man! Just how big *was* that bag?

      1. Was it a group effort or the work of a single dedicated man?

    7. I seem to remember that it’s always recommended to avoid a poop smear when on your cycle.

  11. About 70,000 people gathered in Paris, France, yesterday in support of les valeurs traditionnelles, such as denying homosexual couples legal access to fertility treatments.

    Now that’s the France we all know and love.

    1. homosexual couples legal access to fertility treatments.

      Er….I imagine that two dudes would not so much need that, yes? So it should be “lesbian couples access to artificial insemination”?

      1. I’d think that lesbian couples and gay couples who want children could get together and procreate through PIV sex. Not that they’d find the sex very satisfying, but they’d get the children they want.

        1. Or if PIV is just too icky for them, there’s always porn and a turkey baster.

    2. Deny access or deny the state paying for it?

      1. When payment to doctors and access to treatment is controlled by the state, such disputes can be expected.

      2. If you deny their ability to steal your money to pay for their their access then by logic rules of progressivism you are denying them access.

  12. ‘I hadn’t done anything wrong’: Father-of-two who was given 20-year prison sentence for firing a warning shot to scare violent thug who was threatening his family hits out

    Lee Wollard from Devenport, Florida, was given mandatory sentence in 2008
    The 59-year-old and his wife brought their daughters boyfriend, 17, in
    He was homeless, but would take the 16-year-old girl out and disappear
    The pair started fighting and at one point the girl cried out for help
    Lee loaded his gun and fired at the wall next to the thug forcing him to leave
    However Lee was convicted of aggravated assault and given lengthy term
    To this day he insists he did nothing wrong as he didn’t hurt anybody…..s-out.html

  13. Scroguard: A Scrotal Condom For The Common Man

    This might be the best form of birth control to hit the market yet — because nobody will have sex with you if you wear it.

    The Scroguard is essentially a girdle made of latex that, when paired with a condom, “reduces skin-to-skin contact” over the entire genital region. It’s a well-meaning product with a big caveat: It’s not FDA-approved and isn’t officially designed to protect against STDs like herpes.

    Officially, it’s for “couples and individuals who love to swing” and want to wear a big latex diaper, like we did:

    1. “People who are using it say it’s brilliant.”

      And people who aren’t using it say it’s stupid.

  14. Coast Guard Rescues Man Running Across Ocean in Bubble

    A marathon runner who tried to run his way around the Bermuda Triangle in an inflatable bubble was rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard on Saturday about 70 miles off the coast of Florida after he became exhausted, authorities said.

    Reza Baluchi, a runner who advertised his human-powered trip across the ocean to Bermuda, down to Puerto Rico and back to southern Florida on his website, gave up his voyage and activated a locating beacon Saturday morning, days after refusing earlier requests to abandon the voyage, the Coast Guard said.

    something something analogy for politics

    1. No, Rover, you’re supposed to prevent Number 6 from escaping.

    2. Couldn’t they just let him drown?

      1. Well, he was in an inflatable bubble, so he would likely have just dehydrated and starved while he rode the gulf stream to the UK.

  15. OutFoxed! Actress Megan faces new botox accusations as German fans struggle to recognise her thanks to wrinkle-free face…..erlin.html
    Love her trailer trash chic.

    1. As long as were being vain and scoffing at which supermodels are fat Someone pointed this out to me and I’ve cannot unsee it about Megan Fox:
      Her Thumbs.

      1. Reminiscent of Shallow Hal

        1. Toe fingers.

      2. Wierd.

      3. eww.

  16. The demonstrators, who had all purchased symphony tickets, then left the theater chanting “black lives matter.”

    Suck on *that*, St. Louis Symphony fans!

    1. “Hey, more room to stretch out – thanks demonstrators!”

      /Symphony patron

  17. …and the extent of Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable search and seizure.

    “Oh, drugs were found? Then it doesn’t protect you at all. NEXT CASE!”

  18. Grey squirrel the focus of festival burger-making contest

    Made out of locally sourced squirrel, it will be the first time the alternative burger will take its place alongside the usual array of artisan cheeses, locally-brewed beer and homemade cakes at the festival.

    “It’s quite fiddly to prepare and there’s not a huge amount of meat on it but there’s plenty of them,” said Mr Jefferies.

    “It is obviously a nuisance within the Forest of Dean and it does a lot of damage and there’s nothing wrong with eating it.”

    1. locally sourced squirrel

      Nice band name.

    2. And Mr. Jeffries was never able to comment at H&R again….

    3. fiddly


  19. This year’s Nobel Prize in medicine will go to American/British scientist John O’Keefe and Norwegian scientists May-Britt Moser and Edvard Moser for their research on how brain cells communicate.

    Mine communicate by shouting. When a couple get going, it gets noisy.

  20. George Will: ‘Government Is Not Competent’
    Will: “Government is not competent. Frankly it’s not competent under Republicans or Democrats because it is always a monopoly and monopolies are not disciplined by market forces that are connected with reality. Teasing this segment, you asked “can we have faith in government?” I think we have much more to fear from excessive faith in government than from too little faith in government. You asked “can we trust the government to do its job?” What isn’t its job these days? I’ve just made a list. It’s fine-tuning the curriculum of our students k-12, monitoring sex on campuses, deciding how much ethanol we should put in our gas tanks, it’s designed our lightbulbs, and it’s worried sick over the name of the Washington football team. Now this is a government that doesn’t know when to stop.”

    1. “George Will advocates anarchy!”

    2. The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.

      P. J. O’Rourke

    3. I’ve just made a list. It’s fine-tuning the curriculum of our students k-12, monitoring sex on campuses, deciding how much ethanol we should put in our gas tanks, it’s designed our lightbulbs, and it’s worried sick over the name of the Washington football team. Now this is a government that doesn’t know when to stop.”

      Not to mention terlits.

  21. The average American gives about 3 percent of his or her income to charity…

    I think most people’s tax rate is higher than 3%.

    1. Payroll taxes alone are 7.65%.

      1. Somehow these guys never see the correlation between rising tax rates and lower rates of charity.

        1. YES! It’s the same poor thinking that equates taxing people with moral superiority

      2. And double that is you include employer contribution.

        1. You know the employer contributes nothing. It looks like it on paper but that’s making the peoplez feelz level go up.

  22. When guys find out I’m a virgin
    Dating is hard ? especially when you’re a 26-year-old woman who wants to save sex until marriage

    There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. First date? Too much, too soon. Wait until the third date and you risk being considered a tease. Second date? Perhaps, but at this point you’re both still fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread; delving into sexual histories (or lack thereof) seems a bit extreme. So: There’s no good time to tell a guy you’re a virgin. Even worse? Telling him you’re waiting until marriage.

    I should be better at sharing this bit of information by now. I’m a 26-year-old woman with a college degree, a good job, an adorable duplex and no debt. I have a solid group of friends, a supportive family and a clear awareness of who I am and who I want to be. By most accounts, I am a successful human being. Yet the moment I have to tell the guy I’m dating that sex is not an option, I become a squirmy, awkward, fidgety girl who can’t make eye contact or put together a complete sentence. Think junior high dance, only without a bathroom to hide in.

    1. I’m sure she’ll find some deeply closeted guy to marry someday.

      1. Seriously, maybe she should stop going to places to pick up guys who are going to demand sex(which is everywhere) but how about trying a church group.

        1. Church groups are probably one the worst options for her. She needs to find a place full of beta males.

          1. You act like two suggestions are mutually exclusive.

            1. You’re thinking of the married, conquered males who occupy the older study groups. The ones with the broken wills and vacant eyes.

              1. Ah, I see. She needs to start hanging out around the repairative therapy clinic.

        2. Church singles groups are one step away from your neighborhood swings club. Really, have you ever attended one of those events. Guaranteed bj (catholic).

          1. True much like christian mingle it’s the last stop after you’ve fucked everyone in your immediate area code and are looking to appear date-able.

          2. Um … do you have an address for one of these Catholic Church Singles Groups?

    2. Sad thing is, most guys won’t believe her and will just assume “I don’t do that” really means “I don’t do that with you – excuse me while I slip that bartender my phone number”.

    3. She should put it in her eharmony profile.

      1. “26 year old virgin, female, GSOH, seeks similar for marriage and terrified fumbling”

    4. She’s got an adorable duplex? Hot damn!

    5. So, she just does anal and performs fellatio as substitutes, right?

      1. Heck, the first time I even heard of a blow job was when I threw a party in eighth grade and my mom caught a girl going down on a guy in our basement. She was shockingly cool about it (which is saying something: my mom was the Mom of all Moms; the woman all my friends feared, revered and secretly worshiped) and let the party play out until everyone had gone home. Then all hell broke loose ? at least that’s how it seemed to my eighth-grade, never-been-kissed self. She sat me down at the kitchen table, folded her hands, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Let’s talk about oral sex.” I’d thought the birds-and-bees talk was painful; this was torture.

        I don’t know whether it was hearing my mom explain the basics of oral sex, the embarrassment of having not previously known about this particular genre or the fact that she caught two of my friends actually engaging in this in my basement, but let’s just say I never fully recovered from that centuries-long five-minute conversation.

        Sounds like her mom ruined that too.

    6. A couple of things:

      1) How long does this woman wait between dates? Let’s say you go out once a weekend – that’s 3 whole weeks you’ve known the guy. *That’s* long enough to get comfortable to frankly discuss sex, but at the second date you’re too scared to let him know how much you really eat?

      2) What do she have to offer a man that’s worth waiting a year or two? There are plenty of great women who will put out *now*.

    7. fretting over whether or not to eat another piece of bread;

      What is wrong with people? Who does that?

    8. Yet the moment I have to tell the guy I’m dating that sex is not an option, I become a squirmy, awkward, fidgety girl who can’t make eye contact or put together a complete sentence.

      And that is why they don’t believe you.

  23. I didn’t see this here over the weekend:

    Hyena-breeding program fails because they were trying to breed two males

    A zoo in Japan has been forced to admit that it tried to mate two male hyenas for four years, after mistakenly thinking that one of them was female? After the two animals struggled to reproduce, the zoo conducted a gender test under anaesthesia.

    Supposedly, female hyenas have very large vaginas such that it’s easy to confuse hyena genitalia.

    1. We’ve all been there at 2am when the “ugly lights” come on at the bar, right guys? Guys?

      1. I’ll admit it.

    2. Wouldn’t a ‘very large vagina’ help in determining gender

      1. Florida Man wonders if hyenas have been introduced to the state…

      2. The female spotted hyena has an enlarged clitoris that is easy to mistake for a penis. Without knocking them out and checking for a vagina, it’s hard to determine sex.

        1. In other words female hyena = female bodybuilder

          1. Sort of. The clitoris is reversible and the female must retract it to form a canal that the male can penetrate. The vagina itself is blocked by the false scrotum and testes.

            1. *confused face*

              1. They also give birth through the clitoral pseudo-penis, which results in rupture of the organ in most cases.

                1. cool story bro

                  1. I don’t lie about weird sex, “bro.”

                    1. Wasn’t suggesting you were

                    2. “cool story bro

                      A phrase sarcastically used to indicate one’s disgust or indifference towards a tl;dr story.”

                    3. Disgust is my lifeblood.

                    4. STOP TALKING!

      3. I think it’s more like a very large clitoris.

        1. Yeah, sorry about that. I’m not an expert on hyena genitalia.

          1. Come on, man. Get with it.

    3. Trying to mate two male hyenas

      Adds a new dimension to the how lawyers are conceived joke.

  24. Retired New York Professor’s Annual Pension Tops $561K Per Year

    So how did McManus rack up such a payout? The Post reports:

    With his World War II military service added in, McManus was credited with 61 years of service for pension purposes. His pension is based on 1.2 percent of his final salary for each year before 1970, 1.53 percent for each year after 1970, and accounts amassed with investments of his own and city contributions. His payments are also bigger because he retired so late in life.

    And he’s not alone. “Fifteen other retirees collect more than $200,000 a year ? and 1,796 retired educators get more than $100,000 a year,” the Post reports.

  25. Surging dollar may be triple whammy for U.S. earnings

    The dollar has been on a tear, with an index tracking it against six other major currencies notching roughly an 8 percent gain since the end of June. Few analysts see its breakout performance stalling out anytime soon since the U.S. economy stands on much firmer footing than most others around the world, Europe’s in particular.

    For companies in the benchmark S&P 500, that’s a big headwind because so many are multinationals, and as a group they derive almost half of their revenue from international markets.

    1. My Swiss masters are well pleased, however.

      1. They shouldn’t have tied their currency to the Euro.

        1. The franc was/is too strong – the Gnomes of Zurich sneer at our feeble offerings of tribute in Dollars, Dinar, Pesos and Pounds.

          1. They’re trying to stave off the needed corrections.

  26. The end of USB?

    Seriously, this looks pretty bad.

    1. jeez. any way to detect it the USB key ring drive I jsut bougth from Fry’s is already loaded with crap?

  27. ‘Why are mosquitoes so hard to swat?’

    Lastly, the mosquito makes decisions faster than you. When you decide to hit a fly, a signal goes from your brain to your spinal cord to your arm muscles to start the hand in motion. The time it takes is a few milliseconds. But once the mosquito sees motion, a signal from its brain goes to its nerve cord to its wing muscles, and the time ends up being a fraction of a nanosecond. They think and act 100 times faster than you can. Your hand never really had a chance!

    To add to Matan’s excellent answer, air pressure from your hand also serves to blow the extremely light mosquito out from under it prior to impact, aiding in escape. This is why fly swatters are made of mesh, not a solid panel.

    1. Well sure but the size of a hand makes up for the clumsiness. Kinda like using a nuke to take out a fighter jet.

      1. Or a cruise missile to take out a technical.

    2. I can swat a mosquito. But there’s some flies that bedevil me.

      1. It’s the fruit flies that puzzle me. They’re slow fliers, and it seems like I should be able to snatch them right out of the air. But I seldom succeed.

    3. But once the mosquito sees motion, a signal from its brain goes to its nerve cord to its wing muscles, and the time ends up being a fraction of a nanosecond.

      I call bullshit. A nanosecond is 11-3/4 inches at the speed of light Yes, I know mosquitoes are tiny, but the nerve impulses don’t move that close to c.

      1. Well, the distance traveled is a lot shorter too.

    4. Mosquitos aren’t hard to swat. House flies, on the other hand are near impossible to get with a hand.

      1. Pro Tip:

        Slowly place your hand ~12 inches above the fly and observe it closely. Allow it to have a full 2-3 seconds to get comfortable, then when its front legs start moving to feed itself or whatever – STRIKE!

        I have roughly a 1 in 2 kill rate with this method.

        1. AWESOME!
          Cause a TRUE libertarian has a weapon for every occasion.

      2. Most flies jump backwards to take off … swat where they will be, not where they are.

    5. I say let ’em dig in, then when you see that look on their face like a heroin user releasing the rubber tubing… BAM!!

      1. I was always told if you do that, their whole load of poison will get in you and the bite will itch a lot longer. So by the time they’re already sucking your blood you might as well just leave ’em be.

  28. High risk Ebola could reach France and UK by end-October, scientists calculate

    Scientists have used Ebola disease spread patterns and airline traffic data to predict a 75 percent chance the virus could be imported to France by October 24, and a 50 percent chance it could hit Britain by that date.

    Those numbers are based on air traffic remaining at full capacity. Assuming an 80 percent reduction in travel to reflect that many airlines are halting flights to affected regions, France’s risk is still 25 percent, and Britain’s is 15 percent.

    “It’s really a lottery,” said Derek Gatherer of Britain’s Lancaster University, an expert in viruses who has been tracking the epidemic – the worst Ebola outbreak in history.

    1. This exactly how it would happen in Plague, Inc.

      1. The hard part is getting it on that boat to greenland…

    2. Doesn’t the fact that is was what, 15% chance to reach the U.S., mean that’s it’s almost certain to reach (or has already reached) the continent?

      1. Although I think the UK at least had the sense to restrict travel from west Africa.

    3. How many cases of bird flue did they say the country was going to have?

      1. Bird flue cases = 0. Bird flu cases, however are another thing entirely.

        1. I’m not so sure about that. My chimney cap was damaged several years ago and I came down with bird flue until I got it fixed.

    4. “Wait. That can’t be right. You forgot to carry the one! It will first hit Spain at 25.1 percent”!

    5. Great. I am probably traveling on business to Italy in November, so I’m going to have to keep a close eye on this.

  29. Are some Republicans unrealistic about how low tax rates can go?

    The next American president will preside over a federal government ? according to CBO ? taking in revenue equal to 18% of GDP yet also running budget deficits averaging 3% of GDP ? not to mention a national debt twice the pre-Great Recession level. If that president wants to cut top individual income tax rates, how low can he or she realistically go given the budget situation?

    The numbers 25% or 28% often get tossed around by Republicans as desirable top rates. Both certainly have symbolic oomph. The former was the top rate under President Coolidge, while the latter was (sort of) the top rate established by the 1986 tax reform. But are rates that low ? the top rate has only been 28% or lower a total of 14 years since 1913 ? fiscally realistic?

    1. Because cutting spending is clearly off the table.

      1. Cutting the rate of growth sends progressives into hysterics. Actual real cuts would have them rethinking that whole right to bear arms thing.

    2. Can we find some propoganda from some good progressives from say 1910, talking about how the rate will never be more than 10%, and only the super elite will pay it?

      I don’t know for sure it even exists, I just assume it does. And I’m too lazy to google stuff now.

  30. scientists May-Britt Moser and Edvard Moser for their research on how brain cells communicate

    Synapse Chat?

  31. McGee is hacking your computer

    Every Gnutella user in the state of Washington was checked by the NCIS. So much for Posse Comitatus.

  32. speaking of charity:

    How much do the ultra-rich give to charity?

    The typical ultra-high net worth (UHNW) philanthropist donates $25 million over the course of their lifetime, according to a new study, more than 10 percent of their net worth.

    The Wealth-X and Arton Capital Major Giving Index, which tracks trends in UHNW charitable giving, rose to 220 in 2013 – the highest level since the global financial crisis, and only 12 points below the all-time high of 232 set in 2006.

    1. Wealth is evil! Hospitals are built by poor people!

  33. “black lives matter.”

    “…but only when they’re lost at the hands of whitey.”

    1. And only when politicians can use them to their own advantage.

    2. “Hey! We have candlelight vigils to ‘End the Violence’, too!”

  34. A Plague of Memoirs
    A courageously awesome American story of awesomely American courage

    The lowest forms of literature are, in descending order: pornography, the staff recommendations at the Tribeca Barnes & Noble, diet/fitness books, celebrity cookbooks, books of poetry written by pop stars, and, at the bottom of this unsavory slag heap, political memoirs, which have all of the narrative sophistication of pornography with none of the enjoyable bits.

    The titles are the worst, as though the words “courage,” “American,” “journey,” and the names of various virtues were written down on index cards and pulled out of a hat. Consider John Kerry’s A Call to Service: My Vision for a Better America, Mike Huckabee’s Character Makes a Difference: Where I’m From, Where I’ve Been, and What I Believe, Tim Pawlenty’s Courage To Stand: An American Story, Bob Dole’s Overcoming Impotence: A Leading Urologist Tells You Everything You Need to Know. Technically, Dole wrote only the foreword to that book, but it comes up under his name if you do an author search on Amazon, and I have no doubt that it is better reading than Joe Biden’s Promises to Keep: On Life and Politics.

  35. Apparently Bill Maher and Ben Affleck got into it about Islam over the weekend. My wife actually had this episode on for a little bit (before Islam came up)and the two of them were having a great time talking shit about every progs favorite presidential punching bag.

    1. I do have to hand it to Maher, he’s one of the only lefties left on earth with balls since Hitchens died. I can’t think of any others willing to openly tell the truth about how much Islam sucks rocks.

    2. Everyone was dumber after that conversation. Seriously it was idiots on both sides, Ben Affleck had no idea what he was talking about, but in his defense nobody made any cogent points.

  36. All-Female Colleges Adopt New Policies To Enroll Male ‘Transgender’ Students

    Biologically born male; identifies as other/they/ze and when “other/they” identity includes woman

    And to think I had finally understood gender fluidity ….

    1. “Hey, fellow coeds, how’s it going? Anyone up for a pillow fight?”

      1. “Did I say coeds? I mean fellow same-sex college students.

        “Hey, I have an idea about saving water by showering together.”

  37. For any admirers of rugby league, the South Sydney Rabbitohs have won their first premiership since 1971. Their best player played almost all of the game with a broken cheekbone

    1. What’s “Rabbitoh” in Americanese?

      1. Rabits are a pest, and hence were a cheap source of protein in the Depression, A rabbitoh was a guy who sold rabbits door to door in poor neighbourhoods, like those in the South Sydney club’s catchment area (well, they were poor – now they’re mostly gentrified). The nickname was originally a snotty insult, but has been embraced and is now the team’s official nickname. They’re also affectionately known as the Bunnies. As befits a team part-owned by Russell Crowe, they play a gutsy, brutal, tenacious style of football.

        1. The nickname was originally a snotty insult, but has been embraced and is now the team’s official nickname.

          Kinda like Redskins.

    2. Bah! “League” is not real rugby. Union or 7s or forget it.

      1. You are dead to me

      2. League is the only real rugby.

        Union is punting out of bounds over and over.

      3. 7s is not real rugby.

    3. Are you trying to pull a fast one on the ignorant yanks? Better than GI? In what world?
      /Judge Napolitano

      Also, although I am an American, League is easily my favorite sport. For anyone that has interest but no experience be sure to watch the NRL (AUS and a NZ team), not some northern hemisphere crap (Super League).

    4. I was watching AFL a couple weeks ago and some dude’s shoulder popped out as happens on occasion. The physio popped it back in and he went back to play.

  38. Speaking of sports this is for Keith.

    Yes, I watched Roma-Juve as well as Fiorentina-Inter and Chelsea-Arsenal.

    I just wished Mourinho and Wenger would have exchanged punches.

    1. I do too. And the worst thing is that Mourinho was probably the less bad guy in that incident. 🙁

    2. Could Serie A have been better encapsulated in one game? The controversial and sublime, all in one game. How about that Bonucci volley?

      Even though they lost, I thought Roma gave a good showing and deserved a point. The return fixture in Rome will be quite different, especially once Roma get de Rossi and Strootman back.

      Wish I could have caught Fiorentina v Inter, but Beinsport decided Madrid v Bilbao needed to be on both their English and Spanish stations. Further, they didn’t even air a replay later in the day.

      Chelsea look ridiculously tough. Matic, Cesc and Costa are all some degree of brilliant. They may have the title in the bag by February.

      1. Well, Ted, Wenger can’t seem to beat him on the pitch so why not get physical!

        Keith, they went and got Costa at the right time. And Mou’s teams are always defensively very sound. He won Champions with Inter. Inter were masters of closing down space that year.

        Bonucci’s volley was excellent. He’s a frustratingly inconsistent player. Makes great first passes, is tall, graceful and has all the prototypical attributes of a great Italianesque defender but he’s too prone to mistakes and doesn’t mark well; not like Chiellini. I think he’s possibly the best marking defender around.

        Watch him. He’s like a a great backfield defender in football.

    3. I find the big European leagues are more noticeably lop-sided every year. I don’t even watch Juventus/Chelsea/Bayern Munich anymore because there is no suspense.

  39. Meet the woman who says she’s TOO PRETTY for dating websites: Size six blonde thinks it’s easier for unattractive women to find a man

    Paula Jayne Allen, 33, from Essex was often used just as arm candy
    The mother-of-two believes her good looks make it harder to find a man
    She only found true love after giving up on shallow dating websites…..nline.html
    Um, no. That’s not it. Maybe by British standards, but that’s not saying much.

    1. STDs are so hot.

    2. Sorry, gents — She’s now, um, taken.

    3. “I met my current husband 14 years ago, but I spent a decade and a half fucking randos and getting knocked up twice before I decided to retire my vagina marry him.”

    4. Actually a lot of British women are attractive. She, however, is not one of them.

      1. I didn’t say they weren’t, I said they have different standards.

  40. “Demonstrators visited the St. Louis Symphony Saturday, unfurling banners and performing a “Requiem for Michael Brown” during the show’s intermission. The demonstrators, who had all purchased symphony tickets, then left the theater chanting “black lives matter.””

    Fuck em.

  41. Without the politicians, bureacrats, and other wise and selfless public servants making most of these important decisions for us, the country would quickly descend into chaos.

    Not sure if serious.

    1. As opposed to *ascending* into chaos, as we now are.

  42. I finally saw Frozen over the weekend. And it’s a great movie! I cried, I laughed, and I ejaculated with joy. I recommend it to everyone.

      1. Notice the period. Someone is having fun at OTRtM expense.

        1. I hate it when Mandalay is missing his period.

    1. Try having a 5 year old daughter. I think I’ve seen that movie 50 times by now. I can recite every word by heart. IT JUST WON’T GO AWAY.


        Let it go, Let it go…

      2. Since I don’t have a daughter and haven’t been subjected to seeing it 50 times, is it a good kids movie or girl power drivel?

        1. I haven’t seen it, but since it was made within the last decade, I would guess the latter.

        2. It was watchable, but to me they were trying way too hard to make it an instant “classic”. I wouldn’t say it was a girl power thing, but then again I’m not really that in tune with that sort of thing; it’d have to hit me upside the head like a 2×4.

        3. It’s decent enough. Unlike most Disney princess movies, it’s more about family than romance.

          1. One thing that Disney has done well in the “new” (Princess and the Frog/Brave/Tangled/Frozen) princess movies is making it more about family and less about romance. Little Mermaid (change everything about yourself to get him!) and Beauty and the Beast (that asshole will completely change for you!) were terrible, terrible.

            Frozen isn’t a “girl power” movie in the way that Princess and the Frog and Brave (and to a lesser extent Tangled) were. More about family and the power of love (dangit, now that’s in my head0.

            1. Thanks. That explains it.

            2. I think you are too hard on traditional fairy tales. Yes, it is wrong to tell girls that real monsters will somehow change for them. At the same time, girls and women need to have a realistic view of men. Men are not like women. They are not generally as thoughtful as women, they are not as emotional or expressive of their emotions as women. Sadly, I think we have gone a bit too far the other way and given girls and women this idea that they can expect men to be somehow different than they are and that marrying and living with one shouldn’t have to involve compromises.

              1. Why do most women say they want beta males and then complain about them being too submissive after they get one ?

                /rhetorical question

            3. Next you’ll be think it’s hip to be square. 🙂

  43. Utah is also known for its large population of Mormons, whose church asks them to give at least 10 percent of their income to charity.

    Actually, the Mormon church requires its members to give 10 percent of their income to the church. Those who don’t (or at least those who admit that they don’t – the church does not generally check the incomes of its members) are not considered to be in “good standing”, which for men means being unable to advance in the priesthood and for all members not being allowed into temples. There is no exception on account of income.

    The tithes are all sent to Salt Lake City where they are used for general church expenses.

    Beyond that members are expected to donate what they can, in either time or money, to such things as the welfare fund and to local funds for building churches or temples.

    Hence giving among “good” should actually be considerably higher than ten percent.

  44. OK, time for some harmless trolling:

    “The American Revolution itself is a very complicated thing and doesn’t in all senses belong in the category of secession.”


    1. You can define words however you want to. To me at least the American Revolution wasn’t a revolution at all. None of the local colonial governments were overthrown. It was a succession from the central government in England. It was also a conservative succession since in the eyes of those who did it, it represented a restoration of rights they already had as English subject. This makes it an entirely different animal than say the French Revolution were the entire old order was replaced for the purpose of granting people rights they were entitled to but had never had.

      1. None of the local colonial governments were overthrown.

        Some of the royal governors might disagree.

        1. They kicked out the governor but the representative houses stayed.

          1. Considering where the power was at the time….

            You are right in that it isnt like the French Revolution. In many ways its like the Glorious Revolution in England. Change at the top and Parliament gained a TON of power.

            1. That is a good analogy and one the founders agreed with. That is why they viewed it not as a revolution but a restoration of the rights they already had which were primarily the result of the glorious revolution.

      2. I think this is a good way to describe it. Very few revolutions work out as well as the American one, and this is probably why. Truly reshaping society in a revolutionary way never seems to work out well.

        1. No it doesn’t. Ours was a lot uglier than we like to pretend. A whole bunch of people moved to Canada because the wrong side won in their view. We were pretty nasty to royalists and the war like all civil wars was very nasty and personal in many places.

          The two things that saved the US was that Washington didn’t make himself a dictator and when the war ended it did not continue in the form of partisan warfare. That is really what hurt South America so much. The Spanish were such half witted assholes they would never admit defeat the way the British did and the wars of independent went on for decades as partisan movements. That completely broke those societies in ways that they really have never recovered.

          1. Also the Bahamas.

            The white Bahamians are mostly loyalist descendants.

  45. Today’s Morning Joke drive-by featured another heaping helping of scaremongering about ebola. It will come as no surprise they believe throwing money at it will magically make it go away. Some attractive young girl, who apparently writes for the Hill, asked how more money is going to help, when there is no effective system to distribute the medical aid currently sitting around at African airports.

    I wanted to kiss her.

    1. I’m sure there was so much hand-waving at her in response that everyone flew off camera, right?

  46. ‘Face the Nation’ Leaves Out Netanyahu’s Criticism of Obama

    But on, the clip that did not air showed sharp criticisms from both leaders.

    Host Bob Schieffer pointed out that after a meeting last week between Netanyahu and Obama, the White House released a statement saying if Israel “goes forward with new settlements in East Jerusalem, [they will] risk the condemnation of even [their] closest allies.”

    A “baffled” Netanyahu responded:

    “Well first of all, I had a very good meeting with the president and I was baffled by this statement because it doesn’t really reflect American values. What we are being criticized for is that some Jewish residents of Jerusalem bought apartments legally from Arabs in a predominately Arab neighborhood and this is seen as a terrible thing.

  47. Also, the nodders on Morning Joke were plaintively wondering why we don’t spend more money on humanitarian aid for the wide wide world without ever mentioning the sums spent on blowing shit up. But money is a limitless resource, so what difference, at this point, does it make?

    1. They might want to also mention that we have spent hundreds of billions on humanitarian aid and it has resulted in very few positive effects. I suppose you could count Bush’s aid to Africa on HIV a success. That, however is really about the only one. The rest has just been a “buy an African elite Mercedes Benz and send their kids to expensive colleges in the West” program.

      1. Foreign Aid: Taking money from poor people in rich countries and giving it to rich people in poor countries.

  48. I thought Mormons had to tithe in order to be able to receive Temple Ordinances.

    robc|10.6.14 @ 9:24AM|#

    No idea. But how many do?

    Ted S.|10.6.14 @ 9:36AM|#

    I’ve never been Mormon, so I wouldn’t know. But I thought the Mormon church more or less knew which members were tithing and which weren’t.

    You have to tithe to be eligible to get a Temple Recommend, without which you can’t enter the local Temple and perform ordinances for others.

    The church knows exactly how much each Mormon has paid. Whether or not that amount was a tithe (a tenth) is determined at annual meetings with the bishop where they show you how much you paid and you say yes or no on it being a tenth of all you earned.

  49. The average American gives about 3 percent of his or her income to charity; the most generous live in Utah and attend church regularly.

    This isn’t really a valid measure since it uses a definition of charity that includes all church donations, even though church tithing is overwhelmingly used to provide benefits to the churches own membership.

    If I hire a psychiatrist for marriage counseling, that’s not considered charity. Why should hiring a priest for marriage counseling count?

    If I join a country club so I can go to organized social events, that’s not considered charity. Why should paying for church picnics and athletic leagues count?

    1. What is charity?

      There are no organizations that aren’t selective about who they help (if only out of scarcity) nor without administrative costs.

      And many churches do provide assistance outside of their membership; you’re probably going to get a sermon or a pamphlet out of it, but they aren’t going to turn you away from the local soup kitchen unless they run out of food.

      Even so, the membership of a church is not uniform. If the wealthy are paying for the services but the poor are taking advantage of them, is that not charitable?

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