Not 'Ready for Hillary'? Too Bad

readyforhillary.com

Abandon hope all ye who enter: Some poor children's first experience of this world will be swaddled in a "Born Ready for Hillary" onesie.

The item is for sale on the website of the Ready for Hillary Super PAC, created to support Clinton in the 2016 presidential run she's still "weighing". For $20.16, you can get the "100% combed cotton" onesie with a "Herculean H logo". But can you really put a price on telling your new son or daughter, hey!, we are so excited to bring you into a world replete with endless war, disregard for the Constitution, disregard for the value of non-American lives, big government cronyism, community-destroying "tough on crime" policies, and political theater designed to uphold the illusion that the real goal isn't working with the other party's establishment to maintain the status quo?

Comments

[cavalier973]

That's just disturbing on so many levels.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Will she be there to answer that 3AM call for a diaper change?

[Invisible Finger]

No, that's the village's job.

[Paul.]

Abandon hope all ye who enter: Some poor children's first experience of this world will be swaddled in a "Born Ready for Hillary" onesie.

What's to say it's not serving as a warning.

I might have a 'ready for the zombie apocalypse' kit in my home, containing a machete, shotgun, drinking water and MREs.

[Invisible Finger]

Born Ready For Hillary baseball bats may become popular.

[Hugh Akston]

I assume those onesies will come in adult sizes after she's inaugurated, so that we can all feel like the children of a strict but benevolent mother.

[flye]

I am disappoint, ENB. This article needs a "Ready for Hillary" dildo.

[Paul.]

Wouldn't that be a strapon?

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Check the KS State auction inventory?

[cavalier973]

If you're going to do that in a Hillary thread, you need to provide a canister of brain acid.

[flye]

Sorry. Ryder Cup WAG for you?

[datcv]

When Hil is prez the only one wearing the strapon will be her. We will all being the ones getting fucked.

[datcv]

Jesus I can't even make a grammatically correct sentence because that thought was so disturbing.

[flye]

Signing you up for a "Ready For Hillary" real doll, thanks for your order I mean campaign contribution. The strapon comes with it.

[Paul.]

Uhm, exactly. Oh, you thought the government would provide its own strapon? Welcome to hit & run!

[flye]

On the other side it says "FYTW"

[Paul.]

For $20.16, you can get the "100% combed cotton" onesie with a "Herculean H logo".

Oh I get it... I get it.

It's like a donation.

[Swiss Servator, Grundgesetz!]

Tony and Shriek were customers 1 and 2. They just ordered the largest size available.

[cavalier973]

Heh, heh.

[cavalier973]

Shriek is Number 2.

[ant1sthenes]

I blame Sandi.

[Paul.]

. But can you really put a price on telling your new son or daughter, hey!, we are so excited to bring you into a world replete with endless war, disregard for the Constitution, disregard for the value of non-American lives, big government cronyism, community-destroying "tough on crime" policies, and political theater designed to uphold the illusion that the real goal isn't to work the other party's establishment to maintain the status quo?

That's a run-on sentence a writer in 1498 would blush at.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Eh, I award it .65 on the Marcotte Scale

[Paul.]

I have a fondness for the old-timey runon sentence. I read a book written by a real-life conquistador who trudged through the jungles of South America fighting off disease, malaria, testy natives all while trying to bring civilization to the heathens and carrying as much gold back to a 14yr old queen as he could carry...

How's that for a run-on?

Lots of "men of qualitie" died on that expedition.

[Old Man With Candy]

Bernal Diaz?

[Paul.]

I'll have to find the book. Written by the conquistador and translated by some monk I think. Lemme see if I can find it.

[Paul.]

You sir, know your 15th Century writers.

Just found the book on my shelf.

The Conquest and Discovery of Mexico by Bernal Diaz del Castillo of Medina del Campo in Castile.

Even names were better back then.

[Old Man With Candy]

Lucky guess.

That was a book I first read about 30 years ago and I was absolutely fascinated. I've reread it perhaps half a dozen times, and each time I do, I'm struck by its universality.

[The Heresiarch]

There's a difference between long, complex sentences with multiple dependent clauses and a run-on sentence. Frankly, I consider 18th century English prose to be the finest English prose. 20th century practices are a mark degradation.

[Paul.]

I dunno, I've read my share of old English prose, and while I enjoy it for its historical context and use of arcane language, it can be a bit trying to read.

I mean,

The chief told us of his great strength in warriors, which he kept in all the provinces under his sway, without counting many other armies which were posted on the frontiers and neighbouring provinces, and he [the chief]* then spoke of the great fortress of Mexico, and how the houses were built in the water, and how one can only pass from one house to another by means of bridges, or canoes; and how all the houses have flat roofs, which by raising breastworks when they are needed, can be turned into fortresses.

*deep breath*

I'm not a grammar nazi, and make my share of errors to be sure, but there sure are a lot of 'ands'.

[AlgerHiss]

The young and hip crowd are not going to vote for an overweight, old, nasty white woman.

"Vote for Granny Clinton": Yeah...that will be a big seller.

[Jensen]

I think you mean 'Vote for First Female President Who Will Keep Giving You Free Shit and Isn't a Racist Like That Republican Guy.'

[Tony]

We're all very excited about switching from 8 years of constant racism to 8 years of constant misogyny.

[Jensen]

You've really got that Strawman on the ropes there.

[Tony]

Uh, have you read, like, just this thread?

The right will simply be incapable of helping itself. Except that unlike blacks, women are most of the electorate. So good luck to them even hanging onto a house in Congress.

[Sevo]

Tony|9.26.14 @ 4:17PM|#
"Uh, have you read, like, just this thread?"

Uh, have you read, like your last several years of posts?

[Sevo]

Tony|9.26.14 @ 4:12PM|#
"We're all very excited about switching from 8 years of constant racism to 8 years of constant misogyny."

Your constant racism has been noted, along with your general ignorance.
Regarding 'misogyny', what do you call a blithering idiot who holds that a member of the female persuasion can do no wrong if she'd D?

[Tony]

"The female persuasion"? Read your Strunk & White, kid. Just say "who holds that a woman can do no wrong if she's a D."

I understand that most right-wingers don't encounter a lot of racial minorities in their daily lives, but it remains a mystery how they can go on and on about that Pelosi hag and that Hillary cunt, as presumably they do encounter women from time to time.

[John]

You are comedy gold Tony. The whitest least integrated places in America are nearly all completely white and totally Prog. Yeah, people living in Madison and Berkeley and Montgomery County encounter minorities every day, on TV and maybe the Mexicans who mow their lawns.

I have to admit, your utter ignorance is really funny sometimes.

[Tony]

The political breakdown is rural vs. urban. Unless I missed all those rural minorities, I think you might just be delusional. Not that this challenges my point--if you conservatives encounter so many minorities, why are you such racists?

[John]

You missed all those rural minorities because you are an ignorant racist who thinks every black person lives in the ghetto and looks and talks like Kayne West.

Take your ignorance and white supremacy elsewhere.

[Sevo]

Tony|9.26.14 @ 4:24PM|#

..."I understand that most right-wingers don't encounter a lot of racial minorities in their daily lives,"
That's nice, asshole, I'm just not sure what it has to do with anything.

..."but it remains a mystery how they can go on and on about that Pelosi hag and that Hillary cunt, as presumably they do encounter women from time to time."...
Perhaps it's BECAUSE they are a hag and a cunt? IOWs, it's because it's true and lying asshole lefties will do anything they can to hide the fact, including claiming misogyny?
Sorta like that, asshole?

[Tony]

I encourage you to keep criticizing Hillary with as large a dose of misogyny as you like. I know, as I said, that you won't be able to help yourself.

[John]

And of course Tony, liberals never exhibit any hate or racism towards Condi Rice or Sarah Palin.

It is good you come on here and remind everyone just how hideous people like you are.

[Tony]

I actually don't recall racism from the left against Condi Rice. I recall informed criticism. Palin, well OK, but unlike Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton, she actually is a first-rate dumbfuck affirmative action hire.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

unlike Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton

Literally the entirety of Pelosi's life before becoming a Representative, summed up by Wikipedia:
After moving to San Francisco, Pelosi worked her way up in Democratic politics.

unlike Nancy Pelosi

Pelosi represents one of the safest Democratic districts in the country. Democrats have held the seat since 1949 and Republicans, who currently make up only 13 percent of registered voters in the district, have not made a serious bid for the seat since the early 1960s.

unlike Nancy Pelosi

She won the seat in her own right in 1988 and has been reelected 10 more times with no substantive opposition, winning by an average of 80 percent of the vote.

unlike Nancy Pelosi

She has not participated in candidates' debates since her 1987 race against Harriet Ross. The strongest challenge Pelosi has faced was in 2008 when anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan polled 16% and Pelosi won with 72%.

Behold the brilliance of the Democrats' non-affirmative action hire!

[Tony]

All you said is that her seat is safe for a Democrat. Seems to me that means there would be a lot of competition among Democrats for it, barring a popular incumbent. She did not stumble and affirmative-action her way to becoming the most powerful woman in the history of the country.

Sarah Palin, on the other hand, was chosen because she was a woman and a governor, and they didn't even fucking care to check if she was an incomparable moron. Republicans just love to prove themselves right about affirmative action.

[Ayn Random Variation]

This is beautiful. Tony will spend the next two years defending a pro Iraq war, anti gay marriage, 1 percenter, and then vote for her.

[Tony]

Nobody's perfect. Not being a Republican is enough.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Cheer up Tony. They have a dog leash for you.

[Mint Berry Crunch]

The young and hip crowd are not going to vote for an overweight, old, nasty white woman.

Yeah, Rand Paul could beat Hillary by twenty points among younger voters! And even if Ted Cruz is the nominee, young people would still not vote for Clinton! Because she's old!

Christ people, are you in denial about how good Hillary's chances are?

[Paul.]

Yeah... if Barack Obama can win twice, it's clear that a large part of the country is suffering from a kind of political Stockholm Syndrome.

[Jerry on the sea]

USA MADE & UNION PRINTED

No wonder it costs $20.16...

[Invisible Finger]

Would you put your 6-month old daughter in a "Born ready for Bill Clinton" onesie?

[sasob]

... disregard for the value of non-American lives,...

Don't kid yourself. The BITCH doesn't have any real regard for American lives either except her own and those near to her.

[Invisible Finger]

Yep. Even diplomats are in a lower caste.

[Hugh Akston]

Sure she does. Someone has to pay the taxes to make her plans happen.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Lubed-up for Hillary!

[Dweebston]

Progressives throw money away on trendy shit to signal party allegiance, news at 11.

[Episiarch]

People who get a pedobear onesie for their children are funny. People who get this for their children are just pathetic.

[MegaloMonocle]

I'm kinda hoping they have that in a suitable size for my British Staffordshire Terrier.

[Paul.]

Is your dog named Winston? Because that that would be cool.

[MegaloMonocle]

Nah. He's named after a character played by Paul Newman, which was in turn a play on his official AKC registered name.

[Rich]

"Born Ready for the Boomer Coup de Gr?ce"

[John]

Hillary is going to be the all war all domestic spying drone strike them all and loot the country for Wall street candidate. It is going to be funny watching leftist take up the ass and pretend they have any virtues once again.

[Mint Berry Crunch]

I still believe the greatest obstacle to a Hillary presidency is that she might fail to win the Dem nomination.

If she wraps that up, however, what do you expect leftists to do? Vote for Rand Paul? Of course not! They'll have no problem voting for somebody who initially supported the Iraq War, as long as that candidate is the more abortion-friendly choice. Plus, Hillary supports gay marriage as of, like, a year and a half ago!

[John]

The left hates the Clintons with a passion. The other thing is that the anti war movement can only stay silent so long. 2016 is going to be a complete civil war in the Democratic Party.

[Tony]

Anything can happen, but the left is more pragmatic than you think (at least since Nader). So is the right, to their credit, as they did manage to crap out Romney last time. It's possible they may rally around another candidate, but I predict they won't want to repeat 2008 in a year that doesn't follow a Bush catastrophe.

[ant1sthenes]

Doubt it. When the only thing you respect is power, you'll fall in line once the line of succession is established. For a civil war, you'd need another narcissistic power-hungry shitweasel who refuses to step out of the way, and has a sizeable enough following for people to think they can win. Who fits the bill, Elizabeth Warren?

[MegaloMonocle]

Warren, I suspect, is eminently buyable. And if there's one thing Bill Clinton, its line up some cronies to pony up her price.

[Lt Womack]

Ideally it would be a woman or a Hispanic, maybe the Julian Castro guy who's supposedly the Hispanic Obama, or Wendy Davis.

It's clear that Martin O'Malley wants to run and will attract a decent constituency. Also possibly a purple-state Dem could make an electability argument, someone like Bob Casey or Joe Manchin.

You know Biden is going to attempt a run, but I can't believe he'll get any support.

[Lt Womack]

The other thing is that the anti war movement can only stay silent so long.

There is no significant anti-war movement in the Democrat party. That was just a convenient truncheon to beat the GOP with in 2006 and 2008, and was cast aside on 1/20/2009.

[MegaloMonocle]

Seriously, what we have is an anti-Republican movement that periodically dons anti-war garb.

[DK]

Someone needs to buy up the readyforhillary.[af|pk|sy] domains and sell "Born Ready for Hillary" flak jackets.

[Mongo]

FHRITP!

[plusafdotcom]

Well, I can't resist repeating my mantra for the past few years...

"An electorate stupid enough to put Obama in the White House TWICE is probably dumb enough to put Hillary there, too."

Y'all have been warned. Prepare for the worst and hope it doesn't happen (unless that 'hopey-changey-thing' still haunts you...)

[MegaloMonocle]

I'm hoping the percentage of Reason writers swooning over Hillary in a couple of years is lower than the percentage who swooned over Obama in his first run.

You might say I'm hoping for a change.