Kansas Is Auctioning Off Sex Toys


You've got to give it to Kansas for ingenuity, I guess: the Sunflower State will soon be selling thousands of "adult DVDs, novelty items," and more online in a public auction that The Topeka Capital-Journal describes as likely to bring "a financial windfall". The toys were seized from United Outlets LLC., a Kansas company charged with tax evasion. The state made a deal with the company's owner, Larry Minkoff, to return the merchandise so he could sell it at an auction, with all revenue going back to the state. From the Capital-Journal:
The online site lists about 400 lots—individual lots can contain dozens of items—that include the Pipedream Fantasy Love Swing, books, hundreds of DVDs, sex and drinking games, a wide assortment of sexually oriented equipment, carrying cases for devices, the Glass Pleasure Wand, bundles of lingerie and the Cyberskin Foot Stroker.
One of the lots contained 50 "premium" vibrators and a teddy bear. The bidding was at $10.
Also available: two sets of sparkling sequin lounge pants, sizes large and small, as well as the Good Girl, Bad Girl Wrist Cuffs.
The auction site is equip-bid.com. (You're welcome.)
Kansas Senate Minority Leader Anthony Hensley (D-Topeka) criticized Gov. Sam Brownback's administration for "selling pornography to fill the gap in the state budget created by his reckless income tax cuts." But while the administration doesn't "agree with the type of business involved here," said Brownback spokeswoman Eileen Hawley, "it was nonetheless a legal business that was closed due to failure to pay taxes. The state cannot legally destroy the property. Returning the property to the owner would have rewarded the business that violated state tax law. This is the same process used by previous administrations."
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Now you're just trolling us, ENB!
Excellent companion picture...and Alt Text!
I am trying to embrace alt-text with renewed vigor! I got out of the habit for a bit...
sucking up to the commentariat will get you nowhere.
Wait, actually it'll get you everywhere.
No, wait, it'll get you somewhere, but probably somewhere icky.
If Warty invites you to check out his basement rumpus room, decline.
Yeah. Warty "invites".
By the time Warty "invites" you, its already too late.
"Tours" of SugarFree's Dungeon are also contraindicated.
Have I mentioned you're the best writer here?
Those Sneaky SoCon Republicans - forcing a patriotic adult business to get rid of its stock!
The Kansas Department of Revenue - We'll Continue to Screw You, but Now You Get to Enjoy It!
Kansas Senate Minority Leader Anthony Hensley (D-Topeka) criticized Gov. Sam Brownback's administration for "selling pornography to fill the gap in the state budget created by his reckless income tax cuts."
Government should never, ever attempt to provide real value in a voluntary exchange. It sets a bad precedent.
I don't think William Allen White and Thomas Frank had this in mind when they asked What's the Matter With Kansas?
The toys were sized from United Outlets LLC., a Kansas company charged with tax evasion.
I don't even...
Oh my. Fixed; thanks.
Oh myyyyyyyyyyy....
/Takei
You should have left it.
aye
"Model #51982A: the Bob Dole. Now in pre- and post- Viagra versions!"
I thought that was a STEVESMITHOMATIC, Hiker Hunter edition?
It's a scale model of the wartymobile.
OK, that me laugh.
*made
Yes, but do they have the 16 incher big veiner in white?
The rare and collectable Dirty Sanchez X3000
United Outlets has to be the best name for a sex toy company ever.
My thought as well.
Also,
"United Fruitcake Outlet?"
This should cover me for the next several anniversaries.
Goods auctioned off to pay a debt? How is that "ingenuity"? That's...how it works.
Not if you're GM, and work with the UAW.
Kansas: The Take Your Flower State
Too bad it isn't Missouri.
But while the administration doesn't "agree with the type of business involved here," said Brownback spokeswoman Eileen Hawley,
Money trumps icky.
"selling pornography to fill the gap in the state budget created by his reckless income tax cuts."
But I don't understand, if these taxes were slashed to the bare minumum, I would have thought this company would have been able to pay them!
Somewhere...over the rainbow party...
What would Jesus do?
And so the commentariat asked "Teacher, is it lawful to pay the state tax?"
And Jesus asked them to bring him a tax bill. "Whose name is upon the paper?" he asked them. "Sam Brownback" they replied. And Jesus instructed them thus "Then render unto Brownback what is his, render unto God everything else except the sex toys, which goeth to auction".
..."it was nonetheless a legal business that was closed due to failure to pay taxes. The state cannot legally destroy the property. Returning the property to the owner would have rewarded the business that violated state tax law. This is the same process used by previous administrations."
Someone should start a business in Kansas selling items that progs detest, then "fail" to pay taxes.
Ya got any Traci Lords videotapes fer sale....?
I have a suggestion, you worthless prude: stop taxing businesses that derive income from icky unprogressive ventures. Then your pristinely well-intentioned government needn't be sullied by dirty money.
One of the product descriptions:
Riiiiiight....
Looks like shreeky Buttplug is moving to a new home/orifice!
He is going to go by "Jayhawk Tax Plug" now?
Kansas Senate Minority Leader Anthony Hensley (D-Topeka) criticized Gov. Sam Brownback's administration for "selling pornography to fill the gap in the state budget created by his reckless income tax cuts."
There's so much wrong in this sentence, one hardly knows where to begin bashing.
Start at "Kansas" finish at "cuts".
"In The Groove" Anal Lube in the 50 gal. barrel?
+1, probably don't need to buy again
"probably"?
So if they find sales lagging will they take a page from Obama's playbook and mandate that all Kansas citizens buy a sex toy?
Cash for spunkers?
*narrows gaze...changes mind, begins vigorous applause*
Won't work. Given the content of Kansas "sex education" nobody there knows what a "sex toy" is for.
All of the bids will be from outside the state.
It amazes me the stigma still associated with selling Sex Toys. Major companies run for the door when you want to advertise with them or do business with them. Our children are exposed to alot more than this. Just turn on the T.V.