Environmental Protection Agency

EPA Porn Enthusiast Still Employed at EPA

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Head EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy, reuters

Some people wonder how many grains of wheat a pile make. Others, like Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), wonder "how much pornography would it take for an EPA employee to lose his job?"

The question, it seems, is rhetorical. The Washington Post has followed up on the randy Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employee who admitted to watching two to six hours of porn a day at work: four months later, he's still pulling pay.

EPA's spokeswoman Liz Purchia confirmed that the porn-watching employee is still employed but on leave, but could not comment further because of the ongoing investigation.

The EPA's inspector general reported that the employee had downloaded over 7,000 porn files—and was even caught in the act red-handed when the IG special agent walked into the office for an interview.

We need to get hard on these masturbatory delinquents, says Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), who recently introduced a bill "to make it a uniform federal government law that employees cannot look at porn at work."

Meadows acknowledges that this is a systemic bacchanal not limited to the EPA. The Week reported in August that employees from other government agencies were also caught with their pants down—mostly for lack of anything better to do:

An employee at the Federal Communications Commission told investigators that the reason he watched up to eight hours of porn at work every week was "out of boredom."…A Treasury employee who had viewed more than 13,000 pornographic images at work "stated he is aware it is against government rules and regulations, but he often does not have enough work to do and has free time."

And the problem goes beyond mere salacious Web-surfing:

"It's not just casual porn viewing, but hours and hours of unproductive time doing things we shouldn't be condoning. There seems to be a need to reinforce agency rules that might be in place, but not enforced," Meadows said.

But before we get all blue in the face over insouciant feds spending taxpayer funds to twiddle their thumbs, consider the alternatives: EPA employees could watch porn all day or they could spend their time conducting SWAT raids on Alaskan miners, regulating emissions from wood-burning stoves, or harassing citizens for building stock ponds. A porn-watching government worker is a distracted government worker—and we might all be better off for it.

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  1. Watching porn is likely the least harmful of EPA employee activities these days.

  2. “A porn-watching government worker is a distracted government worker?and we might all be better off for it.”

    Well, yes, if the ‘better off part’ was actually provable. Somehow these turdbuckets are able to watch tons of porn and STILL fuck with people’s lives. Christ, governance is an over-rated pigsty of neck-booters.

  3. Nothing.

    Left.

    To.

    Cut.

  4. The question, it seems, is rhetorical. The Washington Post has followed up on the randy Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employee who admitted to watching two to six hours of porn a day at work: four months later, he’s still pulling pay.

    I’ll bet that’s not all he’s pulling….

  5. Ummm,if they outlaw fed employees from watching porn at work we can basically have porn on broadcast tv. Since the FCC censors are fed employees and at work to watch for content violations…follow me here?

    I SUPPORT THIS BILL!

  6. Just show them pics of that thing in the photo with alt-text. That should stifle their masturbating activities for a while.

    Is fugly butch-dyke a requirement for holding high office in an unaccountable federal bureaucracy?

    1. A proud tradition dating at least back to the reign of Janet Reno.

  7. the randy Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employee who admitted to watching two to six hours of porn a day at work

    Why don’t we know his/her/its name?

    It’s not just casual porn viewing, but hours and hours of unproductive time doing things we shouldn’t be condoning.

    Do I detect an implication that casual porn viewing on the job is pretty much A-OK? Out here in the private sector, any porn on work time or equipment is a firin’.

  8. We need to get hard on these masturbatory delinquents

    HA!

    1. Also:

      masturbatory delinquents

      Good band name?

  9. I’m no IT guy, but I just can’t believe it’s possible. If I so much as try to open cracked.com at work, I get a blocked site message. The hilarious filter: “tasteless”
    Even if I was sure I could get away with it, I just wouldn’t bother even trying to pull up a porn site.

  10. ‘…the employee.. was even caught in the act red-handed..’

    RED-handed??

    How hard was he yanking it?

  11. Which never happens in the private sector and is obviously a symptom of the existence of government.

    1. I’m not paying the freight for the private sector jerk-off to jerk off, the public servant jerk-off not so much.

  12. I always wondered how some of these H&R commenters could be so prolific. There has to be a Federal check in there somewhere. I’d rather be a lurker than a jerker.

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