Obama Says Ray Rice 'Not a Real Man,' Olive Garden Offers Never Ending Pasta, Climate Change Is Not For the Birds (Zing!): A.M. Link


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NEXT: White House Trashes Ray Rice: 'Not Something a Real Man Does'

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  1. “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does,” he said in a statement.

    A real man patronizes women with Life of Julia bullshit.

    1. Bombing women, ok too.

        1. Peace drone — Holy roller!

          1. Everyone jump upon the peace drone!

            1. ‘Cause it’s gettin’ nearer
              Soon it’ll be bombin’ you!

              1. Aren’t women just an empty vagina waiting to be filled with free birth control and abortions?

    2. And all this time I thought gender was just a social construct.

    3. Was it a statement or did he answer a question? Any president issuing a statement about some guy hitting a chick is so weird. If it was a question, his answer should have been “Who?” And then, “I have other important things on my mind.”

    4. Does the reverse make sense? Hitting a man is not something a real woman does. No, not really. But I think it’s mostly because “be a real man” is a thing where “be a real woman” isn’t.

      1. If I go on a date with someone it would be nice if it was a real woman.


        1. Go on…

          1. Let’s just say I check to make sure it’s a strap-on before bending over now. (I can’t say more without being indiscreet.)

        2. Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
          But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man

          But anyway, hasn’t it been beaten into you yet that gender and genitalia are different things?

          1. hasn’t it been beaten into you yet

            More likely, it was pounded into him.

      2. They don’t want to hear it, because real women aren’t shrieking eels who want the state to provide – since they manage for themselves regardless of circumstance – and who are not offended at every little thing. Most will even just say ‘thank you’ if someone does the common courtesey of holding a door rather than go on some tirade about being able to open it themselves.

        1. go on some tirade about being able to open it themselves.

          Does any woman in the real world, as opposed to seventies comedy shows, actually do that?

          1. A girl did that in high school to me. Later we all learned that she wasn’t really into dudes though…

          2. There were real feminist women in the real world of the 1970s who would tell you that they did not appreciate such patriarchal courtesy. I used to work for one of the Bell companies then, and some of the professional women there were of that variety. Social norms at the place were such that one did not open doors for women, even though a supervisor was expected to make all sorts of allowances for the special needs of female employees (time off for kids and family matters and bitchiness that would not be tolerated from a man.) For several years, I thought that opening doors for women was passe.

        2. If they can open the door themselves, then why do they find it so hard to put a much smaller toilet seat down?

          1. “You just don’t get it!”

          2. Gravity works in reverse when it comes to the toilet seat and women.

            1. That’s why you also put the top lid down too.

              1. and you put it down before flushing if you don’t want to spray poo germs all over the bathroom. But that might just be me.

              2. That’s what I always do. If you are going to complain about the toilet seat, I’m going to make it equally difficult for everyone to us.

                1. +1
                  I thought I was the only one – should have known better.

                2. I find the best passive aggressive tactic is to actually pee on the toilet seat.

              3. Early on, my wife and I had this discussion. I profferred that I would always put both seat and cover down if she would. However, if the cover were up, I would be under no obligation to raise the seat. She understood that I was making a reasonable offer, and wisely anticipated the likely consequences of that agreement. We then agreed that each of us would look first and make the appropriate adjustment in seat position before using the toilet.

                1. I always put the seat down, but mostly because we don’t want the cats drinking out of the toilet.

            2. One nice thing about being established and having a somewhat bigger house is the wife and I have separate bathrooms. She can have her seat her way (and the toilet paper hung wrong) and I can have mine my way.

      3. Men are still held to minimum standards of moral behavior. Among the bien pensants, at least, women aren’t so much.

        1. Oh, they’re held to standards; it’s just that those standards aren’t the traditional standards the way they often are for men.

      4. Neither makes sense. You shouldn’t go around hitting anyone who you don’t need to hit to protect yourself or others. And if you do need to do that, whether or not the person who needs hitting is a woman really doesn’t matter.
        Real human beings don’t hit anyone just because they pissed them off.

        1. The difference is really “proportional response”. The VAST majority of women are physically weaker than the VAST majority of men so it is safe to generalize “men shouldn’t haul off and deck a chick”. This generalization though would not preclude say, Rick Moranis from hitting Corey Everson (disclosure: I would hit Corey Everson but not in the same way).

          But the average chick hitting the average dude is kind of like a wave against the shore.

          1. So, if an aggression is sufficiently impotent, the NAP doesn’t apply.

            Got it.

            1. No bill. My simple point that you so expertly missed was If a 90 lb woman strikes a 250 lb MMA fighter he may defend himself proportionally. He is now NOT authorized (even by the most broad tenants of the NAP) to kill her with a punch.

          2. Let’s apply proportional response to the government first and let them set the example.

    5. Did the crowd burst into laughter at the idea of an effete liberal like Obama offering opinions on “real” manhood?

      I LOLed at the headline.

    6. Hello.

      “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does…”

      From Obama’s Fables. p.23.

      1. His Dad may not agree.

    7. “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does,”

      “especially if he wants to keep his arm in his socket” he added under his breath.

      1. I shouldn’t have laughed at that, but I did.

      2. “Barrak, I suggest a new strategy. Let the wookie win.”

      3. Yeah, that’s a keeper.

    8. I’m proud to say that I have no idea who Ray Rice is. But since Obama weighed in on it, I’m assuming he’s a white guy who punched his black wife.

      1. Black guy punched his black wife.

      2. Ray Rice is the Chinese billionaire founder of Rice-A-Roni. He is accused of punching out his Indian wife, Janay Rice.

        1. In front of their child, Basmati?!?!?!

          1. You guys are epic in your insensitivity towards other races.

            Carry on.

  2. Climate change will probably cause some birds to behave differently, or something.

    So does harnessing wind power.

    1. Among the most threatened species are the three-toed woodpecker

      What a drag. That’s my fourth favorite woodpecker!

      1. *is* the three-toed woodpecker!

        1. I abridged the sentence. There where some other birds in there. An oxford comma was involved.

          1. Well, …. OK.

            1. where/were is awfully tricky to my morning mind

      2. I climate change will get rid of woodpeckers, I’m going to spend the evening driving around the block.

        Stupid birds.

  3. Yes, a real man authorizes drone and air strikes to ‘hit’ women (and children).

  4. Why didn’t Obama pass immigration reform when he had the chance?

    And that has led to the question of why the president didn’t act when he had the chance. Wasn’t the immigration system just as “broken” then as Obama says it is now? The answer is, in Obama’s world, there was always something more important than immigration reform. And no, it wasn’t because the economic crisis was so severe that Obama could focus on nothing else; indeed, for him, the crisis year of 2009 was mostly about Obamacare.

    During the days when his power was at its peak, Obama pursued higher-priority issues even as he led immigration activists to believe they were up next. Which leads to the conclusion that perhaps immigration reform ? the substance of it, not the politics ? has never been all that important to the president.

    Now, there’s still something more important: protecting vulnerable Democrats from voter disapproval of unilateral presidential action on immigration.

      1. Oh, I’d say he’s giving them the shocker all right.

        1. A whole fist is not really considered a “shocker”.

          1. Oh, most people would find that shocking, especially with little warning.

  5. Richard Branson says entrepreneurs are often bad students, because the classroom environment stifles creative thinking.

    And then they go to Russia and give away state secrets to Glenn Greenwald.

  6. Colossus, a famous Six Flags roller coaster that was once the fastest and tallest in all the land, was destroyed by a fire.

    Clark Griswold denies any involvement.

    1. He wasn’t involved; to the contrary, he was engaged in an activity his nephew once described as “bopping my baloney.”

    2. Cops SWAT-raid his house and shoot Snots the Rottweiler anyway.

      1. Snots didn’t even make it out of the first movie, duh.

        1. That was Stinky. Snots was Eddie’s Rottweiler.

  7. Fort Lauderdale asks Las Olas pedestrians to wave safety flags at drivers

    Fort Lauderdale is asking pedestrians to try a new way to safely cross Las Olas Boulevard: Step into the crosswalk. Make eye contact with the oncoming driver. And then wave a neon orange flag helpfully provided by the city.

    The city put out the buckets of flags with an instructional sign at the corner of Southeast 13th Street and Las Olas in the entertainment district last month. It’s a test project to see if they improve traffic safety.

    You go first.

    1. It’s a test project to see if they improve traffic safety.

      It’s a test project to see if littering increases at crosswalks.

    2. That violates the first rule of crossing a major city street. Never look at the car drivers. If you do, they assume you see them and that you will get out of the way.

      1. The first rule of crossing a street in Florida – assume the approaching driver is 105, can’t see over the dashboard, and is presently having a stroke.

        1. It is a busy boulevard.

        2. I think the flag will make the aged driver feel like the retina has finally detached.

      2. No. Make eye contact and then confidently enter the intersection while maintaining it. My experience walking and biking has taught me that eye contact is your best friend.

    3. If it works all pedestrians will be hunted down and tagged for their safety.

    4. Don’t they have intersections and stoplights?

      1. Everywhere, but try getting people wearing dark clothing at night to not cross at the one spot in the road without overhead lights. I read in national geographic florida has the top 5 cities that are deadly to pedestrians. I was not surprised to hear that Orlando was number 1 for most deadly. I guess in other states/countries that don’t use cross walks.

        1. Then natural selection kills them. Problem solved.

      2. That was going to be my stupid question. After perusing the article, it sounds like the area doesn’t have such newfangled things because people don’t walk there.

        1. Pedestrians in most of Houston are rare and unexpected, especially during summer months.

          1. I don’t doubt it. I’ve looked at it on Google maps, it looks like a giant parking lot even downtown.

  8. Is this even really a question?

    Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

    1. Question have word order problem not clear overly.

    2. Are you having a stroke?

    1. You are one dumb motherfucker.

      1. Why did I just give that website page hits? What a piece of shit.

    2. Isn’t the moral argument for lying to wmen the fact that women lie to men all the time?

      1. Ahem, the Golden Rule is to treat others as you’d like to be treated.

        1. “Always feel free to lie to people who lie to you first.”

          I don’t see a golden rule problem with that one.

        2. I think randomly rubbing the genitalia of hot women in public is frowned upon.

          just sayin’

    3. What the hell?

  9. Do colleges’ freshman reading lists betray a liberal bias?

    That question makes me feel unsafe.

    1. I feel othered.

      1. Where was the trigger warning for that microagression?

    2. That physics for presidents book has something for everyone. Yes, it emphasizes the typical tax-and-spend solution but it also has a strong nuclear component. Also, the author thinks anti-hydraulic fracturing enviros are idiots.

  10. Climate change will probably cause some birds to behave differently

    “I wonder why he did *that*.”

    /Alfred Hitchcock

  11. A majority of Americans say Obama’s presidency is a ‘failure’

    The poll shows Americans say 52-42 that Obama has been more of a failure than a success. Among registered voters, the gap is even bigger — at 55-39 — with four in 10 (41 percent) saying they “strongly” believe Obama has been a failure.

    Those saying Obama has been a failure include one in four Democrats (25 percent), nearly three in 10 liberals (29 percent) and the vast, vast majority of conservative Republicans (92 percent). Nearly one in five liberals (18 percent) say they feel “strongly” that Obama has been a failure.

    1. Yup. And there are still 2 more years left w/ that SOB in the White House. Fun times ahead for all.

    2. And yet they voted for him, twice.

      1. No, they voted against his opponent twice.
        Elections have long been about ‘my guy may be bad but that other guy would be SO MUCH WORSE’.
        I constantly hear this in defense of Obama support.
        Just as I did in defense of Bush support. Just as I did in defense of Clinton support. etc.

        1. They could have voted for Gary Johnson.

          1. Kodos: “Go ahead and throw your vote away on a third party! Hahahahahahaha!”

  12. Here’s what has always ‘got me’ about those activists who push for more draconian reactions to ‘domestic assault,’ that while they talk about feminism and patriarchy on one side of their mouth they are glad to invoke old fashion, age of chivalry shibboleths like ‘boys never hit girls.’

    1. Yep. And what about women in the military?

      1. It’s oK to hit them.

    2. Also interesting, we are beaten over the head (SWIDT?) with the statement: it is never ok to strike a woman.

      It is ok however, to jerk it to a video of a woman being punched, without her consent of course.

      1. That was fast.

        Surprise! Janay Rice is indeed not happy everyone got to see her take a punch:


        1. She fell down. She deserved it. She started it. He only hits her because he loves her so much.

          1. However you want to judge it, having a horrific memory go viral without consent isn’t ok either.

            It means having the public (who sucks anyway) dissect your painful moment, not to actually offer any help, but to decide if the circumstances were bad enough for the feelz.

            1. The thing is, his reaction after slugging her was bizarre. He didn’t seem to show any concern as she fell and then dragged her out of the elevator like a caveman. Didn’t even pick her up.

              1. Both of them looked really drunk to me.

                1. So what? Not an excuse.

                  1. Of course, I only meant to say it explains (without justifying) his clumsy attempts to pick her up and then his giving up and dragging her out.

              2. That’s a lotta deadweight and she doesn’t look like a pixie ballerina…just sayin’.

              3. The thing is, his reaction after slugging her was bizarre. He didn’t seem to show any concern as she fell and then dragged her out of the elevator like a caveman. Didn’t even pick her up.

                I agree, but I still think releasing the video without any thought for the victim is also poor taste.

                1. What is going thru her head now? I married him after he hit me, and now he just lost ~$40M.

                  SHEE-it, that was a bad decision.

              4. Also my take. So much so that it seemed like this was old hat. I think she’d been decked before.

            2. Of course it’s ok. You don’t have any expectation of privacy when you’re in public.

              What amazes me is how Roger Goodell is pretending that he never saw this video before it went public. Bullllllllllshit. Everyone involved agreed to pretend to believe Ray Rice’s bullshit story until it became embarrassing to do so. Fuck the NFL, and especially fuck Art Modell.

              1. If it wasn’t for Art Modell, this would be your team.

                *runs away covering his butt*

          2. She was already falling away from the punch. It was the railing in the elevator that did most of the damage, I think.

            We were watching it this morning and I asked my wife if she thought I could knock her out with one punch, and she replied: “Not with your left.”

            1. A real man would take up the challenge!

            2. POW!

              How’s my right though, Alice?

              Alice? Stop fucking around and get me some coffee. Alice?

              1. “To the moon!”

                *** audience laughter ***

        2. By the way, where is her father and brother/s, if she has any?

          They should pay that piece of shit a visit and do a Sonny Corleone job on his sorry ass.

          1. They got caught in traffic at the toll booth.

    3. I’d be more ok with stricter reactions to domestic assault if women were subject to the exact same repercussions.

      1. There also needs to be some recognition that a partner has the right to defend him/herself. While Rice clearly went overboard (and reacted with all the concern Ted Bundy showed after killing coeds), she swung first and drunkenly lunged at him after the first shoves. Even if it’s not a fair fight, I have to be able to defend myself when placed in a situation where someone, even my wedded partner, acts to cause me bodily harm.

  13. Senate advances constitutional amendment

    Several Senate Republicans joined Democrats on Monday to advance a constitutional amendment that would give Congress and the states greater power to regulate campaign finance.

    But the bipartisanship ends there.

    Many of the Republicans only voted for the bill to foul up Democrats’ pre-election messaging schedule, freezing precious Senate floor time for a measure that ultimately has no chance of securing the two-thirds support necessary in both the House and Senate to amend the Constitution.

    1. You mean the Republicans finally did something unstupid?

  14. If anybody is qualified to tell me what a “real man” is/does, it’s the Droner-in-Chief.

    1. Real men don’t mock the President.

      1. One day, we may yet have a president.

        1. We won’t have a real man as president until we elect Hillary!

    2. Because professing one’s eternal love to a dead guy on a stick is so “manly”.

      1. dead guy on a stick

        ?Jos? Jalape?o?

      2. CHRISTFAGS!!111!!BUSHPIGS!!!1!!!!!

      3. BOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!11!11eleven

      4. Why bring FDR into this?

  15. Berkeley Chancellor: Freedom of Speech Means Restricting Political Speech

    I just wanted to focus on one very brief snippet of Dirks’ insanely awful thought process:

    Yet this is easier said than done, for the boundaries between protected and unprotected speech, between free speech and political advocacy, between the campus and the classroom, between debate and demagoguery, between freedom and responsibility, have never been fully settled.

    Emphasis mine. As White wrote about the bolded portion, “This proposed distinction is a sign of civic illiteracy. Political advocacy is not distinct from free speech. Political advocacy is the apotheosis of free speech.” And that is true! To argue that there is some sort of logical distinction in the United States between “free speech” and “political advocacy” is the most rancid form of pernicious nonsense. It is totally ahistorical and utterly unjustified by decades of Supreme Court jurisprudence.

    1. Dirks is a moron of the first order.

      Dirks acknowledged complications borne from years of public divestment from higher education but said that he planned to carry on the balancing act of his predecessor.

      “We’re going to rely even more on philanthropy,” he said at the press conference ? his first of the school year. “We’re going to have to find new ways to generate new kinds of revenue, new kinds of programs. But we are not going to privatize.”

      1. years of public divestment from higher education

        Which years were that, exactly?

    2. Do they even teach regular classes at Berkeley anymore?

      Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs Harry Le Grande announced that $800,000 in new funding will be implemented to provide services to nontraditional and underrepresented students. One additional staff position has been added to both the Student Parent Center and Cal Veterans Student Services. An additional staff member has also been added to the Dreamers Resource Center, which provides services and resources to undocumented students.

      Le Grande also discussed a number of additional programs: a semesterlong transition course for transfer students, self-defense classes and certification through the Gender Equity Resource Center and an off-campus women’s leadership retreat through the African American Student Development program.

      1. And yet they can’t see that shit like this is one of the reasons costs are increasing and it’s increasinbly difficult to finish one’s degree in the traditional four years.

  16. I’m not one to over-esteem our nation’s politicians, but when did it become a thing for the President of the United States to have to weigh in publicly on these pop-culture kerfuffles? Is there some metric used to determine when Obama needs to gravely state something that basically every person agrees with? A sufficient number of hashtag retweets or facebook likes?

    1. It’d be awesome if he had Mr. & Mrs. Rice over for a beer!

    2. Obama turns on the TV, sees what’s happening on the news, then decides to comment on it. He can’t help himself.

      1. They cancelled Marmaduke?

        To the teleprompter!

        America’s Marmaluke to save Marmaduke? Stay tuned.

      2. It’s how he understands “leadership”. He doesn’t see his role as limited to the executive function of the federal government, he sees himself as the leader of all America. In his head, everybody in America is waiting with baited breath for his brilliant insight on whatever is going on that day.

      3. How much better would the country be if Obama just read H&R every day? He could troll the comments and spare the rest of the country his stupidity.

  17. ISIS vows to assassinate Twitter employees

    Twitter has been engaged in a prolonged game of whack-a-mole with ISIS, closing its accounts and those of similar organizations as they come to prominence, in an attempt to stifle their extremist propaganda and exhortations to violence. ISIS and other groups have consistently thwarted these efforts, now they’re going one step further, urging “lone wolf” actors to target Twitter employees.

    1. Maybe they will accomplish what the dejected bohemians of San Fransisco could not.

    2. As quickly as I created them, my Twitter accounts were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on Twitter. And if you don’t believe it, then you’d better kill me now, because I’ll put a jihad on you, too.

    3. They were already head-chopping mad about that character limit.

    4. Why not just let the ISIS accounts stay up? Perhaps they can figure out precisely where the posts are being made from.

      1. Perhaps they can figure out precisely where the posts are being made from.

        Wouldn’t it be interesting if they all seemed to emanate from a location in Langley VA?

      2. Leave them up, just attache a server-side script to them that translates them from english to arabic, and back, via the google. And of course, ghost them to the original version, until they ask around, and their overseas buddies tell them they sound like a paste eater. Good times!

  18. Ex-SAC Fund Manager Martoma Sentenced to Nine Years in Prison

    Former SAC Capital Advisors LP portfolio manager Mathew Martoma was sentenced to nine years in prison for the most lucrative insider-trading scheme in history, in what may be prosecutors’ last hurrah in the investigation of billionaire Steven A. Cohen.

    Martoma, 40, convicted of making $275 million for SAC by using illegal tips to trade in Elan Corp. and Wyeth LLC, had rejected government offers of leniency in exchange for his cooperation in the probe of Cohen and his Stamford, Connecticut-based hedge fund.

    1. Steve Cohen is a genius. He structured the whole thing to put everyone else at risk, knowing full well that they would engage in illegal activity that would benefit him, while the whole time keeping himself sufficiently removed and insulated to keep him out of harms way.

  19. Out of the frying pan…

    Dreams on hold, Brazil’s ‘new middle class’ turns on Rousseff

    After a decade of economic growth and welfare policies that lifted more than 30 million Brazilians out of poverty, Jardim S?o Luis and other tough neighborhoods across Brazil had high hopes for the future.

    But a faltering economy and mounting frustration over poor public services are dimming the outlook for Brazil’s “new middle class.”

    As that happens, leftist President Dilma Rousseff is watching a once-loyal base – and her chances of re-election next month – slip away. Her main rival, environmentalist Marina Silva, has surged in the polls and is favored to win a likely second-round runoff against Rousseff.

    1. welfare policies that lifted more than 30 million Brazilians out of poverty


      1. The dance is always fun until the band stops playing.

    2. So the answer to a sputtering economy due to an increase in socialism is.. communism?

      How hard is it to remember that Venezuela exists?

      1. Venezuela is the fault of wreckers and kulaks.

        1. And toilet paper hoarders

      2. Don’t cry for me Argentina.

      3. It’s not a matter of not remembering; it’s a matter of choosing not to “remember.”

    3. She was doomed the moment Brazil lost during the World Cup.

  20. Richard Branson says entrepreneurs are often bad students, because the classroom environment stifles creative thinking.

    I never would have guessed.

      1. Not clicking that but damn you anyway.

    1. Are there “Yes” English politicians? It would be hilarious to hear their “don’t let the door hit you freeloaders…” message.

      1. The UK leftists are certainly freaking out and blaming Thatcher, which seems to be a pastime for them.

        If Scotland votes for independence next week, it is the British establishment ? and the establishment alone ? that is to blame. The yes surge is not being driven by blood-and-soil nationalism, by dewy-eyed Celtic nostalgia or the resurrection of a Braveheart spirit. It is a defiant protest at a bankrupt order built by Margaret Thatcher and then preserved and entrenched by New Labour. David Cameron’s Conservatives will bear most responsibility for the break-up of the country, but the last government and a hollowed-out Scottish Labour party cannot escape the blame.

        1. Thatcher was Bush before it was cool.

        2. “Scotland would have stayed around if the dole was higher!”

      2. This. I don’t understand why Tories in southeast England aren’t all sending large monetary contributions to the Yes forces in Scotland.

    2. Isn’t there a good argument to be made that England is better off without the money pit that is Scotland? But I never hear it.

      1. Because the British media and political class is dominated by derpgressives.

      2. I’ve heard it, but never from a politician even a Tory. The Tories will end up with an outright 20-seat majority without Scotland. I bet they are thrilled but not allowed to say it out-loud.

        It’s like NY and CA offering to leave the U.S. Republicans would act appalled while doing a happy dance in private.

        1. It’s the shut up so you don’t fuck up a good thing tactic.

          1. Exactly – They might realize that the English middle-class won’t be paying for their dole any more.

        2. And take Chicago with ya!

        3. I’d do the happy dance in public.

  21. Sometimes you jsut have to roll with the punches. Wow.


    1. That’s the most inappropriate response possible to the Ray Rice situation, anonbot.

      1. That was disappointing. Anonybot is slipping again.

  22. Marc A. Thiessen: George W. Bush was right about Iraq pullout

    When former President George W. Bush makes a rare visit to Washington today, he won’t criticize President Obama for the bloodletting Obama unleashed with his withdrawal from Iraq. After leaving office, Bush promised Obama his silence. He is a man of his word.

    But if Bush did speak out, here is what he ought to say:

    I told you so.

    1. Yes, George W. Bush certainly could be said to have had a solid handle on Iraqi affairs.


      1. Dumbya is on the correct TEAM!. Obama fumbled the ball at the goal line on Iraq.

    2. We know what Marc-Amber Thiessen thinks, but what about Tiffani-Amber Thiessen?

      1. Kelly Kapowski: expert on pulling out?

    3. And here I thought Obama simply followed the Bush/Congress timetable.

      1. The Bush timetable left a small advisor force in Iraq, otherwise, yes.

  23. WND Pastor BeMoans Joan’s ‘Potty Mouth’ and Entertainment Culture which Praises It

    “May I respectfully appeal to scriptural truth, as opposed to the idolizing of practices that are dishonoring to God? Going against the extolling crowd, may I have permission to be contrarian?

    I sincerely hope Joan Rivers repented in her final hours…

    Although God’s grace can forgive any sin, I refuse to minimize sinful practices when they’re lifted up and idolized.

    Humor built on viscous attacks on others is not funny. It is unkind.

    Humor built on minimizing human suffering (such as her jokes on the Holocaust and the Ariel Castro kidnappings of three young girls, for example) is not humor. It is tasteless and cruel.

    Humor that is so sexually degrading and exploitive that, to quote Shepard Smith on Fox News Thursday, ‘We would have to bleep out her words because this is afternoon television’ is not funny. It is gross. It is sad.

    Authentically skillful comedians do not have to have a ‘potty mouth.'”


    1. Humorless pastor exploits celebrity death for personal attention.

      1. Liberal reporter distorts pastor’s heartfelt appeal to civility.

        1. I believe in civility. I also believe that comedy should have no limits or taboos.

          1. I also think it shouldn’t have limits or taboos.

            I also know that people shouldn’t do that evil.

            The difference is way too small (somehow) for most people to understand, but it is massive to me.

    2. Humor built on viscous attacks on others is not funny. It is unkind.

      I guess those attacks really stuck in the pastor’s consciousness.

    3. I’m going to read a cite for the “scriptural truth” that a potty mouth is sinful or wrong.


      1. Because it ain’t fucking there.

        1. God gave us language. Our language should show respect toward God. Therefore, when we use dirty language, we are disrespecting God. Covered by some of the 10 Commandments. Exodus 20:

          7 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

          12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

          16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

          1. “Fucking cunt ass bitch lick douche fuck face” –

            Not seeing the name of God in there.

            In fact, the “misuse of God’s name” commandment didn’t mean cursing in the way that we curse (to demonstrate anger or to be obscene or humorous).

            It specifically meant falsely making a vow that invoked God.

            “I didn’t cheat on you, I swear to God!” violates that commandment if you did in fact cheat. You can use every other curse in the barnyard if you drop a cinder block on your foot, and it has nothing to do with any commandment.

      2. Ephesians 5:4

  24. NYC approves sensors to pinpoint gunfire

    Next: “Police ponder increase in indoor gun violence”

  25. Can You Guess Last US Jurisdiction with Total Handgun Ban?


    1. American Samoa?

      *** clicks link ***

        1. Only a couple thousand miles off.

    2. Too many handguns could cause island to tip over.

  26. A President Whose Assurances Have Come Back to Haunt Him

    In making his speech, Mr. Obama faces the challenge of reconciling those views with the new mission he is presenting to the American public to recommit the armed forces of the United States to the region he tried to leave. Rather than a junior varsity nuisance, he will try to convince Americans that the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria represents a clear threat to national security in a state that is hardly stable. And he will seek to win patience for more war from a public that wishes it really was receding.

    To Mr. Obama’s critics, the disparity between the president’s previous statements and today’s reality reflects not simply poorly chosen words but a fundamentally misguided view of the world. Rather than clearly see the persistent dangers as the United States approaches the 13th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, they said, Mr. Obama perpetually imagines a world as he wishes it were.

    1. I don’t understand. The “Think” method worked so well for Professor Harold Hill.

  27. “Rather than clearly see the persistent dangers as the United States approaches the 13th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, they said, Mr. Obama perpetually imagines a world as he wishes it were.”

    Ugh, whatever Obama’s faults lets not rush back into the heady neocon ‘you’re living in a pre-9/11 world’ days.

    1. That guy really wrote that with a straight face? Is there any conflict on Earth that Obama doesn’t believe the U.S. should intervene in?

      1. I’m waiting for him to have the DOJ investigate the Ray Rice saga.

    2. Perhaps we wouldn’t have those persistent dangers if we got rid of some of the things we started to do after 9/11.

      BTW: Does Major League Baseball still require singing “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch? It’s something I found monstrously repulsive back when it was first instituted.

      1. No more repulsive than the fly-overs.

        But, repulsive.

        1. Oh, I hate the flyovers too.

      2. I’m pretty sure at Orioles games it’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”, but that was a long time ago.

    3. “Mr. Obama perpetually imagines a world as he wishes it were.”

      No doubt this is true.

      But it is truer still of the neo-cons.

      Remember when they said that the Iraqis would welcome the US with flowers, and that, after liberation, Iraq would stand as a shining example of liberal democracy in the Middle East?

      Talk about self-delusion.

  28. Olive Garden Unlimited Pasta passes sold out within minutes? There was a limited supply?

    1. Lionel Hutz, calling Lionel Hutz!

      1. Does this sound like a man who’s had all he can eat?

    2. Only a thousand. It was a publicity stunt and they admit it.

  29. So the email leading to the Hawk’s co-owner to resign surfaced as part of an investigation of team general manager Danny Ferry’s allegedly racist remarks…


    1. Too bad the IRS emails weren’t *racist*, huh?

    2. Those remarks were not racist. I think finding overt racism in that letter says more about the reader than it does about Danny Ferry.

      1. Huh? Maybe I read a different email. Well I guess the point is that people are incredibly thinskinned about any remark even glancing at race. So self-censorship is the only choice.

      2. If you can hear the dog whistle, you must be a dog.

        1. Waffles, you read an e-mail composed by a minority owner who CLAIMS, without specificity, that Ferry made racist remarks.

          You can’t read that letter without concluding that the most important thing on Gearon’s mind is his fear that the Hawks may lose the racial diversity imprimatur of negro race baiters and their white apologists.

  30. The closer we look, the less superior humans are

    So, as modern humans evolved, we had plenty of company. Which leaves us with an enigma: how did homo sapiens become the most successful hominin species ever?

    This has been attributed to our brains, which ballooned a few hundred thousand years ago ? possibly in response to climatic change ? and allowed us to live in ever-bigger societies. In the coming centuries, those brains may allow us to do something that no other species has done: transcend nature and write our own evolutionary future, using bioengineering and artificial intelligence to shape our minds and bodies.

    We will never know whether Neanderthals, our archaic cousins, could have accomplished the same.

    Homo sapiens might indeed be something special. Or, to use the phrase of writer and comedian Chris Addison, maybe we are simply the ape that got lucky.

    1. The self-loathing is behind a paywall.

    2. Perversity. It’s what made early man say: “That’s not just a tree trunk… it’s also something I can put my dick in.”

    3. Our “success” as a species pales in comparison to that of the cockroach.

      1. Actually, most of the spread of the cockroach and many of these ‘successful vermin’ species was from the inviting habitats we built for them. They’re freeloaders on our work. Winter would end many of them without the houses and waste-heated sewers.

    4. Get your stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

  31. Obama Says Ray Rice ‘Not a Real Man,’

    Four score and seven holes ago…

  32. If only American kids could eat school lunches like they do in France

    Another bigger contribution to French students’ healthy disposition? Recess. Students have two 15-minute and one 60-minute recess every day, writes Plantier, and they also have the advantage of walking or biking to and from school, which students only attend four ? not five ? days out of the week.

    On Monday, students eat veal marinated with mushrooms and broccoli followed by a cucumber and tomato salad; for dessert, an apple tart. For Tuesday, it’s roast beef with potatoes, baked tomatoes and herbs; a cabbage and tomato salad and a kiwi for a sweet dessert. Skip to Thursday and it’s tabouleh, sausages and zucchini, an apple and an ice cream. For Friday, students can feast on breaded fish with cauliflower and a pickle salad. Slices of fresh French bread (brought in daily) are served alongside a peach.

    1. My God, do they let them have salt shakers also? The humanity!

    2. they also have the advantage of walking or biking to and from school

      That’ll get you arrested here.

    3. Yeah but the French are pussies.

    4. Too bad there are no jobs after they get out. Then it’s out with the rosbif and in with the bread and water.

  33. and one more Salon:

    “I want a straight white male gaming convention”: Inside the culture war raging in the video gaming world

    In her most recent set of videos, released at the end of August, Sarkeesian looks at “Women As Background Decoration,” citing, for example, a “Grand Theft Auto IV” section where you can slap a bound woman, a level in “God of War III” where you drag along a half-naked woman, and a portion of the recently released game “Watch Dogs,” in which you visit a sex slave ring.

    To much of the world, these sorts of critiques are common ? these days we’re taught to be introspective about diversity, inclusion, privilege and power in our workplaces, our homes, our politics. But in video gaming, such discussion is rare. Perhaps that explains why, when faced with Sarkeesian’s critique, a loud and angry subset of gamers chose not to put out well-reasoned responses showing where they agreed or disagreed with her, but react in the same manner you might expect a crowd of Tea Partyers, eager to defend themselves against what they view as an attack on their way of life.

    1. It is always projection with these people. The Salon progs have never given a well reasoned critique of anything.

      Moreover, Sarkessian was fucking various gaming developers and then writing reviews of their games. Just exactly where were the “white male gamers” supposed to find agreement with her?

      “Well it might have been okay if you had just sucked his cock but actually fucking the developer probably went too far”.

      There is one lesson from the Salon article. Whenever a Prog talks about how the other side “wasn’t civil” it means they have been caught doing something even they can’t defend and only have the “how dare you” defense.

    2. these days we’re taught to be introspective about diversity, inclusion, privilege and power in our workplaces, our homes, our politics.

      Fuck you we’re “taught”.

      We’re compelled to ape beliefs we don’t share due to the threat of civil liability. Civil liability that only exists because the modern US is a tyranny.

      “Taught” my shiny metal ass.

    3. Jesus… how many “raging wars” can be going on inside their heads at the same time?

  34. Chinese boy stumbles across 3,000-year-old bronze sword after he put his hands in a river to wash them

    Yang Junxi, 11, found sword in Laozhoulin River, in Gaoyou County
    He took it back home, where it was passed around in awe by his neighbours
    Since been dated to Shang or Zhou dynasties – dawn of Chinese civilisation


    1. So he is the new Chinese King??

      1. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

        1. Don’t you mean supreme executive power derives from the party comrade?

          1. Help! Help! I’m being oppressed! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

  35. High School Girl Said She Was Beaten At Bus Stop For Acting ‘Too Much Like A White Person’


    1. That bitch had her privilege checked.

  36. Moment police shot dead armed Florida man who refused to drop his weapon outside his home

    Thomas Carberry, 50, was shot dead by police outside his home Sunday
    His roommates David Dlouhy and Terry Cooley called police after he reportedly threatened to kill himself and the roommates
    Dlouhy has said Carberry was addicted to drugs and suicidal
    When police arrived on the scene Carberry refused to drop his weapon
    A witness said he urged officers, ‘Just do it, man!’
    Police shot Carberry and he died a short time later at the hospital

    Wasn’t there a time when the cops wouldn’t shoot unless the person with the gun actually pointed it?

    Or did they always gun them down when they failed to immediately obey?

  37. “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does,” he said in a statement.

    Cops do it all the time.

  38. Were ancient Egyptian beasts wiped out by climate change? Inscriptions reveal horned hartebeest and oryx thrived before the pharaohs

    37 large bodied mammals lived in Egypt before the time of the pharoahs
    Now just eight of the species recorded by ancient people live in the area
    Experts studied etchings to look at biodiversity in the Nile Valley, Egypt
    Computational analysis identified 5 episodes when changes occurred in Egypt’s mammals, 3 of which coincided with environmental changes
    Droughts also coincided with upheaval in human societies such as the collapse of the Old Kingdom around 4,000 years ago

    Damn ancient Egyptians and their carbon sinning ways.

    1. Hahahaha. The Church of Carbontology even subscribes to the idea of Original Sin.

  39. Yang Junxi, 11, found sword in Laozhoulin River, in Gaoyou County
    He took it back home, where it was passed around in awe by his neighbours
    Since been dated to Shang or Zhou dynasties – dawn of Chinese civilisation

    I hope the Minister of Antiquities at least took the kid to lunch before claiming the artifact in the name of The People.

    1. The article I read about it said that they were rewarded for turning the find in – but did not state the extent or nature of said reward.

  40. Kim Dotcom might be getting back the stuff that was stolen from him. Maybe.

    It upheld a High Court declaration that the decision to allow police to give cloned copies of information harvested from the devices to the FBI without direction from the Solicitor-General wasn’t authorised and was unlawful.

    Now, the Court of Appeal has ruled that New Zealand Police “must as soon as reasonably practicable” release clones of any device back to Dotcom and his co-accused.


    Either party can also apply to the Court of Appeal at short notice if further orders are necessary.

    Illegally giving stuff to the FBI (or any Federal agency) is only illegal insofar as “FYTW” hasn’t actually literally been upheld yet as globaly binding international law by the Supremes.

    “As soon as reasonably practicable” gives leeway to interpret this as “shortly after the heat death of the universe”.

    That last bit seems to be saying “You absolutely, positively have to do what I say – unless you don’t want to, in which case we can just talk about it some more.”

    1. How many divisions does New Zealand have? Seriously, our government is that out of control and that big of assholes that they will tell one of our closest allies to go fuck themselves we work for the entertainment industry and don’t care about your little laws.

      1. How many divisions does New Zealand have?

        according to Wikipedia…

        The New Zealand Army (M?ori: Ng?ti T?matauenga, “Tribe of the God of war”), is the land component of the New Zealand Defence Force and comprises around 4,500 Regular Force personnel, 2,000 Territorial Force personnel and 500 civilians.

        … one.

        But the commonwealth will probably come to their aid if attacked.

        1. We won’t attack them. We will just tell them to go fuck themselves. That is what is called “smart diplomacy”.

          1. You asked a stupid rhetorical question, I gave a stupid rhetorical answer.

      2. But the US isn’t an empire.

        1. Being an asshole is not the same as being an empire. I am sure Venezuela or Zimbabwe would tell t hem the same thing. Do they have empires?

          I really wish people would stop raping that word. I think it has suffered enough.

  41. President Obama condemned Ray Rice. “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does,” he said in a statement.

    Even if she attacks you first? Is the standard now that any woman can slap, punch or otherwise batter any man with total impunity and if the man defends himself they are a criminal?

    Sadly, yes it is.

    1. Meh. You can defend yourself with equal force, but from what I saw, Rice started the whole thing by spitting on her, and responded to a nudge by knocking her out. He’s a scumbag.

      1. Rice started the whole thing by spitting on her

        Where did you see this.

      2. They are both scumbags. I looked to me like she hit him. “Equal force” doesn’t mean not hitting them harder. It means not pulling a weapon when all they did was slap you. If she punched him, legally, he had a right to punch her. The fact that his punch carried a lot more force is, absent him being a boxer or having special training making his fists deadly weapons, just too bad for her.

        I don’t like Rice. I also, however, don’t like the blanket statement “no man should ever hit a woman”. That is bullshit. If a woman attacks a man, a man has every right to defend himself. Moreover, if in doing so the woman who attacked him gets her ass beat, that just means women and men ought to be careful about who they attack.

    2. I think men are supposed to be able to restrain the woman to keep her from hitting him.

    3. I think the dignified approach would probably be to not hit back because you’re too busy packing your bags. But I don’t understand staying with someone who turns violent in arguments, regardless of gender.

      1. Pretty much this. It’s not just women in abusive relationships, I have seen men take/put up with a ton of shit, at some level they must like it. I could never put up with that bullshit.

        1. Most “abusive” relationships involve women inflicting violence on the men. Women are as a group much more prone to violence against their partners than men.

          1. Most “abusive” relationships involve women inflicting violence on the men.

            Is there some kind of stat to back this up. Not to be a dick but while I believe most men,or even women, unwilling report abuse how do they know?

            1. From Jezzebelle no less

              “According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women.


              1. I’m going to guess that far more men put women in the hospital than the reverse. This notion that I’m seeing there that it’s OK to beat the shit out of your woman if she hits you first is pretty fucking disgusting.

                1. …seeing “here”…

                2. I don’t think it is okay to beat the shit out of anyone Rywun. What I think is disgusting is the idea that just because men can generally win a fight with a woman they somehow forfeit their right to defend themselves. That is nonsense.

                  I wouldn’t have a chance in hell in a fight with Chuck Gadell. Does that mean that if I go up and punch him he has no right to punch me back? If not, then why does a man have no right to punch back against a woman who hit him?

                  1. If the only way to defend yourself against a woman is to “punch back” then you’re probably doing it wrong.

                    1. If the only way to defend yourself against a woman is to “punch back” then you’re probably doing it wrong.

                      So men have to take their beatings and like it? Since when is there the “men have no right of self defense against women” exception to the self defense rule? And why wouldn’t that exception apply to my hitting Gadell?

                    2. Do you really see only two alternatives here? What if it was a child who started punching you? You either sit there and take it or you knock them out cold, I guess. No other options.

                    3. So women = children. Got it.

      2. I totally agree with you. If my wife ever slapped me or threw a drink on me, my response would be to walk out the door and file for divorce. That said, if a strange woman walked up and slapped me or punched me in a bar, I have every right to defend myself the same way I would if a man did such a thing.

        We have developed this idea that it is somehow cute or harmless for a woman to strike a man. It is not.

    4. President Obama condemned Ray Rice. “Hitting a woman is not something a real man does,” he said in a statement.

      Unless you’re a hero in blue.

  42. Courtesy of retweets by Maggie McNeil, some great responses to Obama’s comments about Ray Rice.

    Jayel Aheram @aheram ? 12h

    Jayel Aheram @aheram ? 13h

    Jayel Aheram @aheram ? 13h

  43. How about a little vegan propaganda to go with rotten teaching?

    “Hot lunch debate as Bay Area schools go meatless on Mondays”
    “Mondays have become meat free in hundreds of school cafeterias across the Bay Area, a move praised by animal rights activists and environmentalists and condemned by the livestock industry for pushing politics into the lunch line.”

  44. I wonder if Rice is being courted by any police departments. After all, they need strong men who don’t take any shit anybody, and who have no compunction against striking a woman who fails to obey.

    1. He has publically expressed remorse for his actions. No police force would take him.

      1. Good point.

      2. He also didn’t destroy the security tape or threaten the hotel manager into erasing it.

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