Russia Conducting 'Stealth Invasion' of Ukraine, IMF Chief Christine Lagarde Under Investigation, Will 'Full House' Return? P.M. Links

|

  • Christine Lagarde
    MEDEF / Flickr

    Russian troops and tanks have entered Ukrainian territory as part of a "stealth invasion," according to The New York Times.

  • French officials have placed Christine Lagarde under investigation. Lagarde is head of the International Monetary Fund, but her previous stint as finance minister under French President Nicolas Sarkozy has landed her in hot water.
  • The NFL decided to leave Josh Gordon's one-year suspension for substance abuse in place.
  • Joe Scarborough of MSNBC's Morning Joe said the Constitution doesn't apply to kids, because one time something bad happened with a gun.
  • Rick Perry has opted to pay his own legal fees rather than ask taxpayers to foot the bill for the curious ethics investigation of which he is the target.
  • Sweet Zombie Jesus: the TV show "Full House" may be revived.

Follow Reason and Reason 24/7 on Twitter, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

NEXT: Ukraine: Russia Is Invading Right Now

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Sweet Zombie Jesus: the TV show “Full House” may be revived.

    I approve, but only if it involves dirty Bob Saget.

    1. Hello.

      1. As they say in Quebec: Bonjour, eh?

    2. How is this possible without the Olsen twins. Aren’t they both hospitalized and dying of anorexia?

      1. That’s what they’ve been waiting on, the studio doesn’t want pay them residuals.

      2. I think they ought to replace the Olsens with twin two-year olds, and all the characters will just carry on as though nothing is amiss. Everyone’s 25 years older except Michelle.

      3. Bring the Olsen twins back, but replace Saget with Charlie Sheen. Imagine the possibilities…

    3. It’s as if people forget that Full House was the absolutely worst sit-com on the air at the time.

      1. This.

    4. Saget was awesome in the Aristocrats. I never liked him (and it was based entirely on catching him on Full House every once in a while) until I saw that movie.

      1. Saget was also great on the Rodney Dangerfield HBO Young Comedians show that introduced Sam Kinison to the world.

    1. I posted this in yesterday’s PM links.

  2. Rick Perry has opted to pay his own legal fees rather than ask taxpayers to foot the bill for the curious ethics investigation of which he is the target.

    Can’t wait for this to be spun as a bad thing. “He’s paying his own way! He must be guilty!”

    1. Where do you think he got all of that money to pay for it?

      1. Reselling 99-pack beer?

      2. The Koch Brothers? I better go to Salon and have them tell me what to think.

    2. My father, the one I’ve talked about before, the one who’s so liberal he tried to tell me back in 2012 that Paul Krugman should be Secretary of the Treasury, thinks that the Perry indictment is politically motivated.

      1. When you’ve lost Andrew S’s father…

        1. And Jonathan Chiat, and the Austin newspaper, and the NY Times….

          1. I think the only one who still believes there’s merit to the case is Rachel Maddow. She’s gleeful about it all, as usual. TEAM politics personified.

            Me, I personally dislike the twit (Perry and Maddow if you get right down to it), but this crap is just a political sideshow over a drunk-ass bitch who needed to be fired.

            1. But she’s a lesbian Democrat drunk-ass bitch, so Teams will be Teams.

              1. Who spends most of her time denying she’s a TEAM Blue player.

      2. You’ve got more than one?

        1. “Andy has two daddies”

          Nope. I just used poor grammar in trying to remind people of his idiocy.

  3. Russia conducting stealth invasion of Ukraine

    It is not an invasion. It is a kinetic action. They are just leading from behind!!

    1. /looks up word “stealth”

      Hmmm..

      1. Yeah, I’ve been looking up “stealth” in the dictionary, and I can’t find the part where it’s defined as “reported in the New York Times as soon as it happens.”

        1. I’m surprised it’s actually in the dictionary… because you know, stealth. It’s very stealthy.

          Sort of like looking up recursion. “See Also: Recursion”…

    2. When confronted about the stealth invasion, Putin was heard to mutter something about hamsters and elderberries and farting in your general direction and warnings to go away or risk being taunted a second time.

      1. +1 Holy Hand Grenade

        1. …of Antioch.

      2. “Is there….is there someone else we can talk to?”

  4. “I find it hard to believe that our Founding Fathers put together a Second Amendment to give eight-year-old children the right to fire semi-automatic weapons,” he continued. “And if you think that’s what the Constitution of the United States says, you should really go back and read the Second Amendment”

    Sheesh, Joe — just listen to yourself already.

    1. As someone who has taken both of his daughters to the shooting range (with pistols) I do think what this guy did was pretty stupid. Her losing control of that gun on full auto was not an unusual occurrence.

      Very said, but I think the Darwin awards come in to play here.

      1. That was my thought. Ive seen grown men struggle to control full auto. Who the fuck gives it to a young kid?

        Let them learn on something small.

      2. Freedom means being able to do something stupid… to be sure.

        And I guess Joe thinks children aren’t people. That’s cute.

    2. First off, she was 9.

      Secondly, that instructor was stupid to not be helping her hold the gun on her first time firing a short burst.

      1. 3rd Everybody should know that a kid should start with a single shot .22.

    3. We have the concept of MINOR in the law because it is historical experience that, prior to adulthood, very few children, even the most precocious, can function as full citizens in adult society. There is just something to be said for living a few years and letting your brain and mind mature for a while, not to mention getting big and strong enough to do the amount of physical work that has historically been expected of adults. Generally, minors’ best interests are protected, and their rights asserted, by their adult guardians.

      If a responsible guardian thinks it is OK to introduce a minor to firearms, all well and good. But the guardian needs to do so intelligently, not giving the child access to weaponry that he or she can’t reasonably master or even control at the present age, physical capability, and level of skill.

      I suppose an emancipated minor would enjoy full 2nd Amendment gun rights, but the 9-year old in question was not one of those, IIRC.

      I don’t think Scarborough was out of line so much as be is just obnoxious. Minors ARE people, just not, in the vast majority of cases, fully emancipated in the legal sense.

  5. French officials have placed Christine Lagarde under investigation. Lagarde is head of the International Monetary Fund, but her previous stint as finance minister under French President Nicolas Sarkozy has landed her in hot water.

    Why do the socialist technocrats who are telling me I’m being selfish by wanting to keep my income away from the government always end up being corrupt? That’s gotta just be a coincidence, right?

    1. I think Sarkozy was conservative – at least on the French spectrum.

      1. So…he wanted to conserve France’s socialism?

        1. Beautiful!

          He made some decent efforts: cut taxes, tried to get rid of some regulations. His big mistake was trying to increase the retirement age. That was a major cause in him losing re-election.

          My favorite memory of him was when Leslie Stahl kept asking him questions about his mistress, he pulled the mic off his shirt and walked out of the interview. She pulled this classic bulsshit, “what’s your problem” face.

          I guess she thought he would sit there and answer all her penetrating questions about extra-marital sex the way Clinton did when she grilled him about his affair/s.

      2. Sarkozy was. Lagarde wasn’t.

  6. Sweet Zombie Jesus: the TV show “Full House” may be revived.

    I had opposed the Islamist drive to destroy Western civilization for a long time. I may have to reconsider this position.

    1. Wait, is it a zombie version now? I’d totally watch that.

      1. Well, I wouldn’t watch, but I”d totally hit on zombie Lori Laughlin.

    2. I’d watch it if they let Bob Saget write his own lines.

  7. Two men sue cab company for driver kicking them out for kissing. I could swear the original version of the story had a quote from the driver saying they were ‘Making the sex.’

    1. Possibly something that self-driving cars could help avoid? We should discuss this.

      1. IT’S A TRAP!

        /John

      2. NO…, no, we shouldn’t

    2. “Making the oral sex.”

    3. The original version of the story also didn’t censor the name (and therefore likely ethnicity and religious affiliation of said cabbie, but we all know what it is, right?) either.

      When an officer questioned the driver, Jama Anshur, he said McCrea and White had been “making sex,” the complaint said. The officer let Anshur drive off, and waited with the couple until they found another cab.

    4. This has happened to me. I was pissed but not enough to make a federal case out of it. Lesson learned – one should take one’s company into account and behave accordingly. In other words, lots of cabbies don’t like the gay.

      1. Go on…

        1. Nothing to go on about, I’m afraid. A little kissy-kissy and it was “out of my cab!” However, the thought of calling The Authorities never entered my mind.

      2. Lucky the cabbie and his friends didn’t bury you up to your neck and drop a masonry wall on you.

  8. Russian troops and tanks have entered Ukrainian territory as part of a “stealth invasion,” according to The New York Times.

    Voice: [pause] Candygram.
    Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You’re the Russians, and you know it!
    Voice: Wait. I-I’m only a dolphin, ma’am.
    Woman: A dolphin? Well… Okay. [opens door]

    1. +1 Ancient SNL reference

      1. Seems like only a couple of years ago they were doing that bit. Jeez I’m getting old.

        It must seem impossible to some people who only know of his later work, but Chevy Chase was really funny on that first year of SNL.

        1. In high school, we used to act out the Wild and Crazy Guys and Todd and Lisa/Mrs. Lubner (“that’s a stunning housecoat you’re wearing, Mrs. Lubner” “why thank you, Todd!”).

          I think Mad TV out SNLed SNL. I’m sad that shows gone. At least Key and Peele are still on!

          1. MadTV punched down too much for my taste.

          2. I always thought MAD TV got screwed over by Fox. They were much funnier and much edgier than SNL once the 70s-80s glory days of SNL started to peter out. I always thought if Fox had really gotten behind MAD TV and dared people to compare the two, they would have pulled ahead. But they left it a niche market.

      2. Woman #3: Who is it?

        Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Land Shark.

        Woman #3: [ laughing ] Oh, Walter!

        [ she opens door laughing, but is attacked and dragged into the hall by the Land Shark ]

        1. I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not.

      3. What is ‘SNL’?

        1. Still Not Laughing

          1. I laughed at *that.*

    1. Can we then please start playing fiddles instead of trying to do something about it?

      1. Evil denialists have evilly trashed Mother Gaia, but we still need to give govt massive new powers to stop something that can’t be stopped.

        1. Obviously the only thing left to do is repent and convince Mother Gaia that we have changed at heart so that she will receive us into her bosom as the waters consume us all.

          This will require you all to live in mud huts and practice substance farming while I monitor it from my palatial estate.

          1. Ooh, substance farming. Can I grow poppies and coca leaves and– why not?– some hemp?

    2. Okay, good. Can we stop trying to fight it now?

    3. Great! Guess all there is to do now is adapt to the changing climate.

      1. No, we need to move evreryone into “Smart Growth” stack-and-pack housing, ban plastic shopping bags, “get everyone out of their cars” and onto public transit, etc, etc, even though it is all apparently meaningless — because it will then at least seem like “we’re doing something” for those people who are only happy if it seems like we’re doing something that “feels right”.

    4. IF the damage is already done, then there isn’t anything to be done. Can they shut the fuck now?

    1. Makes it easier for them to confiscate the good stuff. Duh.

    2. I suppose if you are travelling with ‘controlled’ substances without proper documentation you are subject to TSA mission creep into the War on Drugs.

      1. I suppose if you are travelling with ‘controlled’ substances without proper documentation you are subject to TSA mission creep into the War on Drugs your body cavities.

      2. Is there anything that magical organization known as the TSA can’t do? I mean, now they’re drug warriors too!

    3. Actually, Australia has had that kind of law for at least 8 years. When I went there in 2007 (& the law was at least a year old by then) I not only had to declare the anti-allergy drugs I was carrying, I needed to have a letter from my GP confirming he had authorized my using them.

    4. [bleep] the FDA and TSA up their [bleep]s with a poison-tipped [bleep].

  9. Wish me well as I engage rush hour traffic to get from the office to ATL…

      1. He’ll be resting all right….IN HIS NEW, DRIVERLESS GOOGLEMOBILE!

        Happy commuting, fellow travelers.

    1. Why not take MARTA from a park-n-ride?

      1. Just down for some meetings for the day. Rental to and from the office.

    1. Let them play!

      1. Can we make it a law and govt free libertopia?

        1. Somaliadome?

          1. -1 road

        2. Reason’s Thunderdome. Two men enter, one man leaves.

          First match: Shriek vs. Tony.

          1. Two men enter, both emerge wealthier from mutual cooperation.

            1. Those two would attempt to become wealthier by taxing each other.

              1. Okay, I literally LOL at that.

      2. +1 Bad News Bears 2

    2. I’ve heard at least 20 different plans for that rusting hulk. I’m still pissed they didn’t dynamite it to keep enough parking for AstroWorld to stay open.

      1. Convert into a tourist attraction – WartyWorld.

        1. WartyWorld – Two Men Enter…No One Leaves

          1. Why not just make it like The Rape Tunnel? Derivative? Sure, but it’s a perfect embodiment of the WartyWorld ethos.

          2. We could fill it w/ hipsters from The Montrose (tell them there is an artisanal toast food truck festival inside), and then blow it up.

          3. Two men enter one man walks out bowlegged.

            1. You people…intrigue me…

        2. I felt a great disturbance in the force its as if a million voices suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced…

    3. Some day if any of you are interested, I will tell you all of my experience running an emergency medical clinic in the Astrodome for the 30,000 Hurricane Katrina refugees who lived there for ten days.

      Now that was an amazing use for an abandoned domed stadium.

        1. OK, why not, I’ll do a quick summary of the main memories.

          These were the last 30K people out of New Orleans, mostly people plucked off the tops of houses and from inside the fucked-up Superdome, so they were not in very good shape. There was dysentery all around and we had a quarantine tent, jammed with people who were continually filling up the Porta-Potties with their diarrhea (there was no plumbing, our only water was from a network of garden hoses).

          One guy told me about his starving family stuck on their rooftop with flooding all around them. After a couple of days he cut a hole in the roof and swam down through the filthy water to the kitchen on the first floor and grabbed some canned food. He barely made it back to the top, only to realize he had no can opener. (cont.)

        2. Inisde the Astrodome were thousands of metal cots set up side-by-side with no space between them, people had to walk over cots to get to “their” one. Chrysler had donated a bunch of free radio-controlled cars for the refugee kids to play with, and the kids had these cars everywhere under the cots, where they’d created an underground Daytona 500. You had to always be watching your feet as you walked around, because these damned electric cars could pop out at any moment and trip you up. I saw a 400-pound refugee lady do a slapstick banana-peel-type “whoops!” and fly into the air, taking out about ten cots with one huge slide.

          The people were really grateful for the medical care, but there were a lot of folks who were hoping to take advantage of us (and we really couldn’t blame them for trying.) We weren’t allowed to prescribe any controlled substances, and mainly we were just giving out sample packets of drugs that had been donated by pharmaceutical companies. I can’t tell you how many paitents I had this exchange with:

          “Doc, I lost my meds in the flood.”
          Me: “And what were your meds, sir?”
          Response almost every single time:
          “Valiums and Vicodins!”
          Me: “Sorry, we don’t have those. Here’s some benadryl and tylenol. Next!”

          1. “But, my back pain!” (I’m told that back pain is a common complaint of drug seekers.)

  10. Who does LaGarde look like in that picture? Jim Carrey in The Grinch?

    1. I generally think of Max Ernst.

    2. Leatherface?

      1. Winner.

    3. Klaus Kinski’s mom

    4. Sam the Eagle?

    5. Tywinn Lanister…

      Spoiler

      Right before Tyrion shot him on the crapper.

    6. George Plimpton.

      1. +1 Paper Lion

    7. Andy Warhol

  11. So, My wife just got yelled at by a bunch of her co-workers for basically asking too many questions. She is a medical billing person at a large oncology practice. Today she noticed something odd, talked to one of the nurses, the nurse fixed the problem but also told my wife that a lot of the other nurses are double billing a lot of things. This kind of set off a shit show.

    1. “Nothing to see here! Move along…”

    2. Damn, that is fucked up. Sounds like the kind of day that calls for a 99-pack of beer.

      1. Apparently the other nurses went crazy on this girl, because it will be her fault for getting them in trouble.

        1. So yelled at by lying cunts for doing her job?

    3. Double billing is teh bad newz. It’s way better if it gets handled in house rather than being brought up because someone notices a discrepancy afterwards.

      1. Yet another reason to not add another middle-man to a system with too many middle-men already

        1. But, but…. I just need a taste, just to wet by beak.

          1. *my*

  12. Seems like the ‘stealth’ part fails once you’re in the New York Times.

    1. Considering the readership numbers? Still stealthy.

  13. Fringe figure and former Navy Chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt, a Republican nominee for a seat in Colorado’s statehouse wants you to know that Jared Polis is going to be beheading Christians soon:

    The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next he’ll join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America.

    Whoa dude, that’s kind of extreme, dontcha think?

    This weekend I sent out an email alert to my constituents in which I used hyperbole. You know what hyperbole is. It’s a literary device where you exaggerate to make a point. Well, apparently some Democrats do not have a sense of humor and they were offended by some of the things I said using hyperbole this weekend.

    When you’re known for saying crazy shit like this, *nobody* believes you were being hyperbolic. Also as a former chaplain you should probably be familiar with Proverbs 26:18-19

    Like a madman who throws
    Firebrands, arrows and death,
    So is the man who deceives his neighbor,
    And says, “Was I not joking?”

    1. Jesus Christ…

      1. What you did there, I see it.

    2. Whoa dude, that’s kind of extreme, dontcha think?

      It’s like the Democratic party has sleeper agents seeded throughout the Republican party and produces one every election cycle for just this purpose.

      1. Nice theory, but no. Lots of SoCons are just that unhinged.

        I’m still predicting that enough Republican Senate hopefuls are going to enough stupid things between now and November that the Dems somehow retain control of the Senate.

        1. There are no SoCons!!1! /the socon contingent here.

          1. Who is stupid enough to say there are no SoCons?

        2. Bonus. I’ve read Todd Akin wants to make a comeback.

          Local Republicans might want to have a conversation with him that involves a sock and bar of soap.

    3. “Washed in the blood of Jesus!”

    4. When I was attending OCS, the officer training was also being done on base, and we all shared the same drill field.

      The chaplains were already commissioned, so the poor drill instructors would say things like “Dress right dress, please gentlemen!” Watching the chaplains march invariably left us in stitches.

  14. If you want to feel embarrassed for others and stare into the Pits of Derp, read the comments on today’s self-driving car thread.

    1. IT’S A TRAP!

      /John, for the second time

      1. I just want to have a conversation about how technology is a government TRAP! /John

    2. Are you saying it went into a ditch?

      1. John tried to drive and that’s where it is now. Should’ve automated it.

      2. No he is saying he got his ass handed to him and is still angry about it.

        If you ever wonder about who got to worst of a thread, here is how you tell without even looking. The person who is still so butt hurt about it that they are without prompting bitching about it on an entirely unrelated thread, is the one who got it handed to them.

        1. AAHAHAHAHAHA No John but it is hilarious that you are claiming victory after seriously stating that Email was bad for freedom. It’s like you’ve managed to get the underpants on your head now proudly stride the world as Captain Underpants.

          1. I wasn’t claiming victory until you gave it to me by coming on here and whining about it. I clearly got the better of you or you wouldn’t still be butt hurt about it. Your actions speak for themselves.

            1. Wasn’t whining but I guess you just can’t stop imaging whatever you want to.

              1. Whatever you tell yourself sweetheart. You lost badly and can’t let it go. That is how it always works.

                1. In which John becomes Team Red Shriek.

                  1. And you put the cherry on top by YELLING TEAM RED. You forgot Tony you fucking half wit. You can’t even get an insult right.

                    And since when does technology have anything to do with partisan politics? You are just getting pathetic now.

                    1. John is become troll, but I’m pathetic. Of course. You make Shia Lebouf’s “I used to be famous” freakout look dignified.

                    2. Yeah Cytoxic.

                      We have a 200 post argument about the dangers of driverless technology and you start yelling TEAM RED for no apparent reason and I am the troll. You are reduced to screaming TEAM RED in an argument where politics never came up and I am the troll.

                      You got to do better than that son. I mean that is just a poor effort.

                  2. In which John becomes Team Red Shriek

                    Jesus, what a little cunt.

        2. John’s idea of ‘victory’ is to re-hash the same bogus bullshit and back it with more bogus bullshit until everyone else leaves because they have better things to do.

        3. I won the thread.

          My Amish comment destroyed every argument you could make.

    3. I guess your butt still hurts from having it handed to you. I do my best here. I can’t make you any smarter. I can just try and relieve you of some of your ignorance and superstition. And that is a thankless job if there ever was one.

      1. HOLY SHIT THE IRONY 10/10 will LOL again.

        1. *John throws his shoes into the nearby automated loom, mumbling something about how industrialization will make it easier to control businesses and is therefore evil.*

          1. Because no technology ever resulted in less freedom or privacy. That is why we are forever getting more and more free. Because the benevolent God of science loves us and wants us to be happy.

            That is really all you people are saying.

            1. Your first sentence does not lead into the second. You suck at thinking.

              1. The fact that you actually believe the first sentence makes you dangerously stupid.

            2. The very fact that you construct some nonsense idea of a ‘Science God’ really proves how profoundly dishonest and unwilling TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE’S ACTUAL ARGUMENTS you are. Hell, I even share some of your privacy concerns. But I’m not a Chicken Little ass who declares THE SKY IS FALLING over a technology that COULD be used by statists. You’re not a goddamn Prophet John.

              1. Jensen,

                You are the one that accused me of objecting to the entire industrial revolution. If you don’t like me using hyperbole back at you, well tough shit. Don’t give unless you can take it too.

                You put up that piece of hyperbole and now have the nerve to whine about getting the same back?

                1. Your line of thinking would reject the industrial revolution. The statement “Because no technology ever resulted in less freedom’ is 100% true. You can’t lay a finger on it.

                  1. yes Cytoxic there are not privacy concerns or downsides to technology because of the industrial revolution or something.

                    Again, that is just a sorry effort on your part.

                2. John, you spent that entire goddamn thread decrying technology as something that lessens freedom because ‘statists love technology for control’. I’m taking WHAT YOU SAID to its logical conclusion.

                  You’re taking the position of ‘I’d like a robot car, but I’d also like the option to drive it when I want to’ and screaming that what they really mean is ‘YOU WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL ALL YOUR MOVEMENT AND MANDATE DRIVERLESS CARS AND EVEN IF THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU WANT THAT’S WHAT WILL HAPPEN.’ You’re not even listening to people’s arguments, just screaming that you magically know what horrible dystopia awaits us.

                  1. Taht is exactly what they mean. The goal of the driverless car is to end human driving. If you don’t do that, you don’t get any of the benefits of driverless cars beyond getting drunks home safe. Go back and read Dragon’s posts on the subject. He described it perfectly.

                    1. Yes John, posts on internet forums are the perfect auguries of the future. And the initial technology goals always equate to what really happens. That’s why the internet is still a military only ARPANET and we never used nuclear power for anything but to make atomic bombs.

            3. John,

              I will state it clearly:

              NO TECHNOLOGY HAS EVER RESULTED IN LESS FREEDOM AND PRIVACY. NONE.

              Technology cant do that. People, on the other hand, can, and do. Technology is a tool. And some people use tools poorly.

        2. You are completely superstitious and ignorant. Superstition means the irrational belief in something. And you have an absolute faith in the perfect goodness of any technology or science. That is superstition. You have a God you worship, you just call it technology so you feel better about yourself.

          1. More projection and straw from John.

            No, I know that science and tech are morally neutral and that what counts is how it is used, but history is clear that greater technological progression empowers individual rights.

            1. I know that science and tech are morally neutral and that what counts is how it is used, but history is clear that greater technological progression empowers individual rights.

              Okay, now you have just become a fucking comedy act. You can’t believe that. You really can’t believe that. Are you just completely unaware that the 20th Century happened? Did you fucking time warp here from 1899 or something? Go ask the victims of the great totalitarian states of the 20th century how empowering technology was.

              1. Yes, that must be a result of technology. Philosophy need not be considered,

                1. Yeah because the technology didn’t empower that philosophy to kill millions or anything. And no one ever wanted to kill millions and create totalitarian nightmares before them and just didn’t have the ability. Nope. Technology had nothing to do with it.

                  Again, you are a comedy act at this point.

  15. Joe Scarborough of MSNBC’s Morning Joe said the Constitution doesn’t apply to kids, because one time something bad happened with a gun.

    This what it means to be a “reasonable” Republican. This is a man who can meet the President halfway.

    MSNBC will renew his contract.

    1. Aren’t you and the characters on Law and Order the only people left watching that channel? How are they still in business?

    2. You know who else said the constitution didn’t apply to kids?

      1. Captain Samuel Nicholson?

      2. John Wayne Gacy?

      3. Planned Parenthood?

      4. The Des Moines School District?

  16. Who would an uzi in the hands of a nine-year-old girl? What is wrong with these people? What is wrong with this culture?

    Are 300+ million people and John Locke to blame for someone putting an uzi in the hands of a 9-year-old girl, then standing close enough behind her that he could be shot?

    “And if you think that’s what the Constitution of the United States says, you should really go back and read the Second Amendment, and then read cases, and then read what Scalia wrote in 2008 about what the Second Amendment is and what the Second Amendment is not and what the Second Amendment protects and what the Second Amendment does not protect. There is no reading of what Scalia said in 2008, 2009 that would suggest this has anything to do with the Constitution.”

    Now, it’s been several months since I last looked at the Constitution, and it’s entirely possible that it’s changed since then, but I believe it delineates the circumscribed powers of the federal government. Nowhere does it give the federal gubbermint the power to regulate firearm ownership.

    And then the 2A reinforces that negative protection with overt, positive protection by fundamentally saying, “No guys, we really mean it. By the terms of this document, the federal government cannot infringe of firearm ownership.”

    1. Oh, and then a hundred years later Spooner blew up the whole thing by noting that no one alive agreed to be bound to the Constitution and that no one cares what some long-dead guys wrote on a piece of paper.

      1. +0 treason

    2. I fail to see how the 2nd Amendment does not bind State and local governments also. Did we need the “incorporation” of a 14th Amendment to eliminate double-jeopardy in State courts? Was it OK for State courts to force an accused to bear witness against himself? Could State governments take property for public purposes without giving the owner fair compensation? Clearly, the Constitution explicitly mentions things that the States cannot do, and it is clearly supreme over State Constitutions. Also, when the Constitution wanted to restrain the Federal government or one of its branches, it did so explicitly often enough, so I don’t think it is correct to dismiss the idea of “automatic incorporation” by saying that, absent a specific provision to the contrary, the Constitution can only be construed to apply to the Federal government. I think you may need the idea of “incorporation” to stretch the 1st Amendment to cover ALL government, not just Congress. But for generic “thou shalt nots” or “thou musts” in the Bill of Rights and elsewhere, I would argue that the constitutional prohibitions or commands would apply at all levels of government, everywhere within the jurisdiction of the U.S. In particular, the 2nd Amendment would apply everywhere, at all times. That would seem what the plain language of the document and common sense require. Can anyone point me to court opinions that distort language and logic enough to assert otherwise?

  17. Attorney: East Point police Tased handcuffed man 13 times before he died.
    Police records show two officers used their Tasers repeatedly to try to make Gregory Towns get up.
    Towns family attorney Chris Stewart plans to file a lawsuit this week.
    “This is a direct violation of their own rules,” Stewart said. “You cannot use a Taser to escort or prod a subject.”
    The lawsuit comes after the April death of Towns after he was repeatedly “drive-stunned” with Tasers by East Point police in an apparent effort to make him get up and walk after a foot chase.
    “He wasn’t cursing. He wasn’t being abusive. He was saying, ‘I’m tired,'” Stewart said.
    Stewart said Taser logs, combined with other information from the city, show two officers triggered their Tasers 13 times around the time in question: 10 for Sgt. Marcus Eberhart and three times for officer Howard Weems.

    1. “drive-stunned”

      How quaint.

    2. Well, they didn’t shoot him.

    3. I thought tasers were for forcing people to get down. So they can be used to force people to get up? How versatile.

  18. Giant Panda may have faked pregnancy to get better treatment.
    According to The Independent, Ai Hin the giant panda was scheduled to deliver the first live broadcast of a panda cub birth, from the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Research in Sichuan province.
    However, after two months of displaying signs of pregnancy, handlers discovered that the giant panda only had a phantom pregnancy.
    While giant pandas are prone to phantom pregnancies, which are often due to hormonal fluctuations, Ai Hin may have made a keen observation that made her fake pregnancy a strategic move.
    An expert at the research center noted that when giant pandas are exhibiting signs of pregnancy, they receive special treatment, including an air-conditioned room and more of the panda’s favorite foods like buns, fruit and bamboo.
    The extra care is deemed necessary because the endangered species have trouble breeding in captivity.
    Researchers speculate that Ai Hin may have pretended to be pregnant in order to be pampered.

    1. I knew they were all nothing but gold-diggers.

  19. then read what Scalia wrote in 2008 about what the Second Amendment is and what the Second Amendment is not and what the Second Amendment protects and what the Second Amendment does not protect.

    Scalia is the Lawgiver, now? Does he sit at God’s right hand?

    1. Scalia is the most far-est right-est libertaria-nest thinker there has ever been.

      If even a far-right whackadoo like Scalia thinks that there are limits on what the 2A protects, all reasonable people must agree and start banning shit.

    1. “Despite all the barriers it presented and the countless people who thought I was a sadist, crazy, or just outright irresponsible, I decided to finally stop talking about this idea and actually execute it,” Hall said.

      “The results were pretty hilarious.”

      “Pretty hilarious”?

  20. Scarborough is an idiot.

    I feel so sorry for that 9 year old girl. She’s going to have to live with that the rest of her life because the instructor was a moron. Hope she has some good people around her and her parents get her into some good therapy for this.

    1. I heard about that that was really sad. Of course the gun-grabbers love it. They love that girl for giving them the death they need.

    2. Her parents were morons too. I wouldn’t even trust a 9 year old with even a single shot 9mm, much less an automatics.

      At that age, if you want to do something, get them a bb-gun, so they can learn firearm safety without using an actual firearm.

      1. This. Dad started us on the Daisy, then a .22. THEN you got to shoot the 30-06 and the 12 gauge. Not before.

        This is just awful, and that “instructor” was one stupid motherfucker. Sorry he got killed by his stupidity, but…

    3. Also, even with an adult, the first time they use an automtic, you only put 2 or 3 bullets in the magazine until they get used to it, precisely so something like this doesn’t happen.

      1. And I am pretty sure an Uzi has a burst mode that only fires three rounds in rapid succession with each trigger pull. You set it on burst before you let them shoot it on full auto.

        1. I wouldn’t even do burst!

          Single shot until the shooter demonstrates an ability to handle the recoil by successfully having a decent grouping during rapid fire exercises.

          Personally, I am uncomfortable with semiauto for a child. Make putting a round in the barrel a conscious activity.

        2. It’s a 3 position selector. You can get ones with a three round burst, but that’s in place of the full auto mode, not in addition to it.

        3. Wrong. Safe, semi, full auto are the only choices. I own an Uzi SMG and when I let another person fire it, I start then off with 5 rounds or less, and I’m always ready.to.grab.the gun if it starts to get away from them.

  21. What’s really going to end Russian expansionism:

    Russia Cancels 6th Bond Sale as Yields Climb on Ukraine Tension

    The Finance Ministry pulled tomorrow’s sale, citing “unfavorable market conditions” in a statement on its website. The yield on 10-year ruble-denominated bonds climbed nine basis points last week to 9.36 percent. The rate fell six basis points to 9.31 percent as of 3:27 p.m. in Moscow as President Vladimir Putin prepared to meet with his Ukrainian counterpart.

    The fact is Russia is dependent on western credit markets, and while they keep trying to delay the inevitable, at some point they’re going to have to deal with the fact they simply can’t afford this.

    1. Yes. Russia is running out of money and people. This is why we are right not to overreact to this. If Putin wants to get bogged down fighting a civil war in the Ukraine, let him have at it.

  22. Oh, fuck the NFL. Murder two men? Fine, no problem. Beat your wife unconscious? Let me slap your wrist. Be barely over a miniscule THC limit? FUCK YOU.

    1. The guy who accidentally hit little Welker and gave him a boo boo got exactly the same punishment as Ray Rice did for beating his wife unconscious.

      Fuck the NFL with a chainsaw.

      1. The college game is so much more fun to watch, anyway. The NFL is doing its best to take all the fun out of football.

        1. Yes they are.

        2. Yep. I never thought I’d miss the endzone dances and other Dion Sanders bullshit…but I do.

          You’re always gonna have your Barry Sanders who just hand the ball to the ref, God love ‘im. I’d really like to see an Icky Shuffle….

          /stops, realizing I’ve dated the motherfuck out of myself again

      2. What happened with the guy who hit Welker happened on the field of play, what happened with Ray Rice did not. Why exactly is the NFL responsible for punishing Rice more than the legal system?

    2. Some scientists say THC is neuroprotective, so the NFL is effectively encouraging brain damage by banning it.

      1. And they are encouraging pain killer abuse as well. Better to have guys smoke pot for the pain than take opiates.

    3. Hey, pal, it wasn’t the first time Josh failed a test. It was more like the tenth time.

      Give it a rest. If you don’t like, don’t watch it.

  23. Is there a Vietnamese plastic scrap bubble? And has it burst?

    Just got an email from Maersk.
    Plastic scrap ban to Haiphong & Da Nang, Vietnam

    Dear Valued Customer,

    Due to backlog of Plastic Scrap containers in Haiphong & Da Nang, Vietnam , Maersk Line will no longer accept Plastic Scrap from the United States & Canada to Haiphong & Da Nang, Vietnam effective immediately.

    If you have any questions, please contact your Maersk Line Sales or Customer Service representative.

    Best Regards,
    Maersk Line

    1. So can we invite the Lebanon to eat up the forum squirrels?

    2. Some folks don’t know what they’re missing.

      What those folks are missing are prion diseases.

    3. Some folks don’t know what they’re missing.

      What they’re missing is Creutzfeldt?Jakob disease

  24. Artisnal Toothpicks:

    http://gothamist.com/2014/05/2….._right.php

    $40 for 12

    1. Here’s a picture of a starving child!

      Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! nooooooooooooooooo!

      That was….horrible, in the most awesome way. But I clicked on the starving child link…..MY EYES!!!!

      1. I actually kinda liked the “Tape it to the side of a cow” idea for how to waste money, just for the WTF factor that would result if someone started doing it.

      2. It should be noted the photographer who took that vulture photo ended up commiting suicide because of it.

    2. One of my aunts (former teacher, way the hell up the union’s ass) went on a propaganda tour of China and came back just gushing. One of the things she was excited about were some toothpicks she’d stolen taken from a restaurant, which she served up to us and explained how the Chinese care about craftsmanship that even something as simple as a toothpick was carved to look nice.

      “You know these are machine produced and you can buy a thousand of them for a couple of bucks at any Asian market, right?”

      Was not the response she wanted to hear.

      Also fun was her going on and on about a tea estate that had been there forever. I started making jokes about the original owners being liquidated during the communist takeover which elicited some pretty nasty dagger-eyes.

      1. You, sir, are my hero!

      2. Ha. And it’s the Japanese who care about craftsmanship, not the Chinese.

  25. The yield on 10-year ruble-denominated bonds climbed nine basis points last week to 9.36 percent.

    The American ten year was 2.38% this morning when I looked. We get to keep doing all the incredibly stupid shit we want.

    HURRAY!

  26. Artisnal Toothpicks

    I hope each individual toothpick is whittled out of a single rare endangered tree.

  27. Joe Scarborough of MSNBC’s Morning Joe said the Constitution doesn’t apply to kids, because one time something bad happened with a gun.

    There’s still a Constitution?

    1. Yes sir, and the Top Men have found just the perfect use for it….

      http://media.washtimes.com/med…..tanoah.jpg

  28. The sometimes interesting blog Heartiste featured the Rick Perry, alpha male, mugshot recently. And another, below, which is even better.

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com…..lpha-male/

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.