Bergdahl Finally Telling His Story, Quartet of Gay Marriage Cases Heard, Ebola Deaths Top 900: P.M. Links

• 

  U.S. Army

  Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is finally being interviewed by the Army today regarding the manner by which he left post in Afghanistan and ended up in the clutches of the Taliban five years ago.

• A panel of federal appeals court judges in Cincinnati is hearing arguments about four separate states' gay marriage recognition bans today. The cases come from Ohio, Tennessee, Michigan, and Kentucky.
• Deaths attributed to the Ebola virus have topped 900. Saudi Arabia is now investigating a potential case.
• Missouri executed its seventh death row inmate for the year today. It's the first execution since it took two hours for Arizona to drug a guy to death.
• Everybody is worrying that Russia is going to invade Eastern Ukraine any minute now, though they've been worried about this happening for quite some time.
• The Republican National Committee is siding with Uber against regulators as a fundraising effort.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is finally being interviewed by the Army today…

I think he wants to be called Chelsea Bergdahl now.

[Tim]

He should just walk away.

[Rich]

“Early-onset Alzheimer’s …. Yeah, *that’s* the ticket!”

[CE]

“I sent my after action report email to the IRS by mistake, but they seem to have lost it”.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

http://bit.ly/1vc4w0x

Someone’s math is off.

“Israel’s war of self defense against terrorists (who use children and civilians as human shields) has resulted in Israel being responsible for deaths equal to “one hundred 9/11s.”

[db]

Man, they must really cram ’em in over in Gaza.

[Andrew S.]

Obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZcZ6eJoxeE

[Fist of Etiquette]

When the Jews do it, it counts for more.

[briannnnn]

Well Jews are the offspring of pigs and dogs so…

[jesse.in.mb]

I believe it’s pigs and apes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Schweinehund!

[Brett L]

I don’t think they mean this particular stretch. I think they mean since the Intifidah in ’86.

[Hyperion]

Still, didn’t around 300 people die on 9/11. Has Israel really killed 300k in Gaza.

[Hyperion]

I meant 3000, not 300.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

I thought a couple thousand died on 9/11

[CE]

If the average age at death is 70 worldwide, and we have 7 billion people, and there are 350 days in a year (give or take), it’s more like 300,000 people died on 9/11. And 9/12. And 9/13.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

They really should be more careful with their analogies.

When I hear “9/11” and “Gaza” in the same sentence, all that comes to mind is the Arabs dancing in the street after they heard the twin towers were knocked down.

[waffles]

I forgot about that. As many millennials may have. Gee, I know collective guilt is bad and all that but I’m suddenly a lot less sympathetic.

[MJGreen]

Yeah, if you’re trying to stir up sympathy for warring Arabs, I wouldn’t start referencing 9/11…

[Sudden]

I bet Massaud also tells all the Jews which buildings and when the attacks are coming so they can get out of there.

[Stickler Meeseeks]

Someone’s moral sense is off, too.

[Obama's Buttplug]

That’s 9/11…times one hundred!

[WhatAboutBob]

9/11*100=81.81818181…

So around 82 people have been killed in Gaza?

[Headless Body of Agnew]

But the digits go on forever! See? Genocide!

/derp

[Suthenboy]

9/11….that number rings a bell. A date, maybe? Yes, a date. Why does it ring a bell? Let me check and see what the Palestinians were doing on 9/11.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRA0NKQ0k6E

Oh, yeah. Now I remember. Fuck the Palestinians.They should thank Allah’s ass every day that I am not the one they have to deal with. I would turn Gaza into a glass parking lot.

[Brandon]

Dumbass.

[ant1sthenes]

I assume they mean as a percentage of the population of Gaza. I saw this formulation recently on an article about the downed airliner in the Ukraine, explaining how so many Dutch were personally connected (that is, comparing the per capital losses to 9/11).

It makes sense if you’re trying to describe how hard something hits a community, but if abused can lead to the ridiculous notion that an Icelandic life is worth over 4000 Chinese lives.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Army officials debriefed Bergdahl for intelligence and other purposes, but Wednesday’s interview, conducted at a base in San Antonio, would be the first opportunity for the Army to question him fully about the circumstances of how he was captured.

That’s not suspicious at all.

[Rich]

“Mind if we question you *fully*, nudge nudge, wink wink, know whata mean?”

[PapayaSF]

They needed to give him time to get his story straight.

[SIV]

“she” you transphobe

[Fist of Etiquette]

A panel of federal appeals court judges in Cincinnati is hearing arguments about four separate states’ gay marriage recognition bans today.

Was the fight for civil rights in the 60’s this tedious?

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Yes, and nowhere near as fabulous.

[briannnnn]

This is it! This’ll get Cincinnati on the map!

[Bo Cara Esq.]

Boomer Esiason would like a word with you.

[Hyperion]

Johnny Bench would like a word with you as well.

[Sudden]

Pete Rose would like to place a bet with you.

[Sevo]

Skyline Chili is pissed!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

So would Oscar Robertson and Trixie Friganza.

[Almanian!]

Bootsy Collins would like you all to funk off.

[CE]

But only for Cincinnati.

[toolkien]

And Dr. Johnny Fever too.

Oh yeah, BOOOOOOOOOOGGGEEERRRRRRRRRRRR…

[Brandon]

Didn’t some ginger just get enough money to buy Cincinnati?

[CE]

Jimmy Buffett made enough money to buy Miami.

[PD Scott]

And now I have a mental image of Bull Connors siccing a pink toy poodle on gay rights protestors…

[Rich]

“Scream it loud — I’m gay and I’m proud!”

[Sudden]

FUBU-lous maybe?

[Obama's Buttplug]

Someone once told me that FUBU stands for Fucked Up Black Underclass.

[kinnath]

For Us; By Us

[Obama's Buttplug]

Thanks!

[Bo Cara Esq.]

“The Republican National Committee is siding with Uber against regulators as a fundraising effort.”

Good for them.

[Hyperion]

As long as we can keep any more of you crazy libertarians from getting through the door, we’ll side with a few liberty like things. We have to have our priorities straight.

1. Keep libertarians out of party
2. War
3. Police state
4. more war and more police state
5. liberty, but just a little

[Brandon]

I think Ex/Im Bank, Boeing, and no abortion would go above liberty.

[Tonio]

And just below banning abortion is keep the homos down.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Republican National Committee is siding with Uber against regulators as a fundraising effort.

As if that would carry over into any action if they gain more power.

[Root Boy]

They probably think they will up their Silicon Valley fundraising over the amount they get from the taxi lobby.

BTW – Lyft is awesome. Taking it to the airport in my city means I save about $25 bucks and don’t have to sit in some nasty cab and take 10 min to pay by CC. Fuck those taxi assholes.

[db]

The Seven Cities of Ebola!

Bumpty-bump!

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

Wikipedia refuses to delete photo as ‘monkey owns it’

I don’t know if it would hold up in court, but it’s pretty funny.

[Rich]

This kind of approach has great potential.

“We’d like to turn over Lois Lerner’s emails, but she had a *monkey* hit ‘Send'”

[AlmightyJB]

kinda redundent

[AlmightyJB]

If I was judge I would rule the monkey owns it just because you have to.

[ant1sthenes]

I don’t think they’re saying a monkey owns it, they’re saying a monkey took it, so the photographer has no legitimate artistic claim to it.

It’s a good thing Shakespeare is out of copyright, I can’t imagine how afraid his estate would be otherwise about the precedent this sets.

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

I don’t think they’re saying a monkey owns it, they’re saying a monkey took it, so the photographer has no legitimate artistic claim to it.

That is correct; the headline is wrong.

[CE]

What about the thousand monkey who accidentally typed the sequel to “Romeo and Juliet”?

[Ska]

Bromeo and Culiet? It’s a real corker.

[Gluesponge]

Particularly the poo-flinging fight between the families in Act 2.

[Cdr Lytton]

Desmond Morris has a sad. On the other hand, Pierre Brassau approves this message.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Deaths attributed to the Ebola virus have topped 900.

And Africa is usually so good at containing its epidemics.

[The DerpRider]

Man, don’t read the Hot Zone. I know I’m paranoid, but when they say this is so hard to catch, but you can get it from sweat; well, it makes me worry. And every single apocalypse book starts with the spread from the hospital staff…

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah I read that back in the 90’s. All I remember of it was that it scared me.

[JW]

but you can get it from sweat

The last time something like this happened, it ended up with the Enterprise spiraling down toward a planet and Spock crying.

[toolkien]

Not to alarm anyone, but I’ve been levitating while I walk and I’ve been spontaneously turning into a crow. And I’ve been listening a lot of King Crimson lately…

[AlmightyJB]

So you are the 21st Century Schizoid Man?

[Brett L]

I am ready for some football.

[Andrew S.]

That’s awesome.

/Please, Florida, employ Will Muschamp forever.

[Cap'n Crunch]

I thought that they had “disappeared” her, but ex-reasonoid Lucy Steigerwald lives! Here she is on der bloggingheads.tv

http://bloggingheads.tv/videos/30371

[Brett L]

DON’T TALK ABOUT LUCY!

[Brandon]

Don’t talk about not talking about Lucy.

[Apatheist ?_??]

She also gets published at vice.

[Andrew S.]

EMTs step in to stop NYPD cops from beating a man handcuffed to a stretcher

NYPD cops over at Thee Rant respond by threatening retaliation on EMTs

Many of them want to retaliate against all EMTs:

Fvck EMS. They want to go to war with us? They can fvck themselves when they call their 13s for police assistance.

But there are some rational ones who just think they should retaliate against the specific EMTs involved:

And if you have a beef with an EMS, shame on you if you can’t figure out how to make his or her lives miserable without resorting to pen and paper….Same as I never had to issue a CD….Many ways to skin the cat.

[jesse.in.mb]

fvck themselves

The Roman u makes it extra fun.

[Rich]

It’s also kind of fun to *say* “FUVUCK”.

[db]

“Biggvs…Dickvs.”

[Sevo]

Why isn’t Ebola cured? Icky KORPURASHUNS!

?”pharmaceutical companies see little incentive to invest time and money in a rare disease that afflicts relatively few people in impoverished countries.”
http://www.sfgate.com/health/a…..670657.php

And of course, nowhere is there a hint that pharmaceutical R&D is a limited resource and if somehow the government forced the companies to focus on Ebola, they’d have to quit working on say, cancer.

[Bo Cara Esq.]

But surely not breast cancer?

[Matrix]

Certainly not. We should divert money from prostate cancer research, because… fuck men!

[Brett L]

Prostates are not as user friendly as tatas.

[The DerpRider]

Well. That depends.

[The DerpRider]

ARg – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYumJ2ruv0E

[The DerpRider]

Dont’ mind me, I’m an idiot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FOwQeiYd0U

[Matrix]

Indeed. You are correct. Everyone loves boobs. Babies love boobs. The elderly love boobs. Men and women love boobs. Even pets often love boobs. Boobs are magical, wonderful things that can brighten up your day. They can make a man who is feeling down smile and filled with joy. Boobs the best things on the face of the Earth, and I love having them in my face!

[Mad Scientist]

If only we could harness the energy spent bitching about companies that save thousands of lives every day…

[Andrew S.]

Every kkkoroprashun has an unlimited pile of money. Therefore, if they’re not willing to spend hundreds of millions of dollars, if not billions of dollars to develop a drug that has an incredibly minimal chance of ever developing into something that might possibly bring in a minimal amount of revenue, they’re evil and must be stopped.

Did I get it right?

[Sevo]

“Did I get it right?”

By George, you have it!

[JEP]

Don’t you know that this justifies government funding in scientific research?

If it’s not profitable for a company to invent a cure for ebola, then they won’t do it, so we need to spend tax dollars on it.

[Brandon]

I’d think it would be profitable for a corporation to develop a vaccine for ebola, at least.

[JEP]

I haven’t run the numbers, but I bet it would be, too.

That’s just the argument that’s typically used when a libertarian tries to explain that the free market can accomplish something the government is doing.

Discovering the hadron doesn’t have a direct market application, therefore there’s no profit in doing it so corporations won’t invest in it.

They don’t see that if something needs to be done, then that need creates the demand. When that demand is high enough, then it will be profitable, and it will be accomplished. If you accomplish something for which there is no demand, then you are operating at a loss and you’re not using scarce resources efficiently.

Of course, you could invest in future demand…

[JW]

R&D is a limited resource and if somehow the government forced the companies to focus on Ebola, they’d have to quit working on say, cancer.

And have they found a cure for cancer yet? Huh? HUH?

[SugarFree]

Wait for the freak out when the progs are told about the fact that the Ebola miracle drug is grown in a GMO tobacco plant in Kentucky.

[Gluesponge]

What would be just more grand is the administration method for getting the beneficial drug into one’s system is to _smoke_ it. 🙂

[Trouser-Pod]

I’m not reading that horseshit, so I’ll just ask; Is there no research being done on ebola cures by pharms?

[Mike Laursen]

Well, the article starts out by saying that Ebola can be contained pretty effectively with simple means such as hand washing, using rubber gloves, and checking on people who may have been exposed. So, it isn’t clear why pharmaceutical companies are responsible for African nations not taking such simple measures.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Ex-Clinton official Robert Reich delivers lecture on greed while earning $240G to teach one class

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014…..ning-240g/

[Brett L]

“And I should know!”

[Marshall Gill]

$240K? What is that about $50k an inch?

[Cdr Lytton]

Only if he gets caught in the taffy pulling machine. Oh, you mean height. Sorry.

[JEP]

Shouldn’t be on some expedition to take back the mountain from Smaug?

[CE]

Confront the proglodytes on their own greed. They are the ones who want other people’s money, not the “greedy” corporations trying to please their customers and investors.

[Rich]

Europe’s Rosetta probe goes into orbit around comet 67P

Project scientist, Dr Matt Taylor, said: “For me this is the sexiest, most fantastic mission there’s ever been. It’s ticking a number of boxes in terms of fascination, exploration, technology and science – predominantly science.”

“Sex. That’s all you guys ever think about!”

[db]

It’s not our fault the comet looks like a space nutsack!

[Rich]

Hey! It’s a rubber ducky!

[Brett L]

You think it was the dual harpoons he liked?

[T]

I saw Lifeforce. I know how this ends. He won’t like it.

[Trouser-Pod]

To be fair, a lot of people didn’t like Lifeforce.

[Gluesponge]

I can think of two good reasons Lifeforce wasn’t a terrible movie…

[jesse.in.mb]

Best place to live for your ideology based on Democratic campaign information.

Apparently Balboa Island and I would get along well.

[Mad Scientist]

That’s what it gave me too, but given the questions on this test, I don’t believe I trust it.

[Slammer]

Mine said Somalia.

[jesse.in.mb]

Probably wise, but if they want to send me off to a camp, I can think of worse places than Balboa Island.

[Mad Scientist]

Hey, switch your answer on “I prefer urban areas” and you get Calahan, CA, which is in the middle of no where.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That’s where I got.

[CE]

Don’t worry, the bullet train will stop there.

[CE]

Glennville, CA for me. Halfway between Bakersfield and the middle of nowhere. I may have to check it out.

[Idle Hands]

Talk about an echo chamber, also I felt like those questions were loaded.

[jesse.in.mb]

Very loaded. I especially liked that worrying about climate change is a proxy for being “Pro-environment”

[The Last American Hero]

I thought it was funny that they think they can wipe out the deficit with tax increases.

[CE]

Well, mathematically….

[Trials and Trippelations]

New Ipswich, NH right on the state line with Massachusetts

[pmains]

For non-urban, I got Clay Springs, AZ. For urban, I got Colorado City, AZ. That got me thinking … Colorado City. Where have I heard that before? Oh, yeah. It’s the home of Warren Jeffs and his FLDS cult.

[Brandon]

My #5 was Akron, CO, where my in-laws live, and…no.

[grrizzly]

I was sent to an Air National Guard base, also known as Forestdale, MA.

[grrizzly]

Must be Top Gun.

[Max Power]

I got a town right near where I grew up. I don’t want to live in central PA again, though.

[Max Power]

Then I answered all the questions the opposite and got where I currently live.

[Aloysious]

Spanish navy ship caught with 127kg of cocaine on board

Spanish police have seized 127kg of cocaine found in a storeroom of a navy training ship which they said was loaded during a stop in Colombia.

The Juan Sebasti?n de Elcano is a training ship for the Royal Spanish Navy. She is a four-masted topsail, steel-hulled schooner. At 113 metres (370 feet) long, she is the third-largest Tall Ship in the world.

cool.

[PD Scott]

Damned Spaniards, still plundering the New World with their sailing ships…

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

Gamma FinFisher hacked: 40 GB of internal documents and source code of government malware published

[robc]

No zero day expoits for linux.

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

I’m not sure what your point is. They target workstations and smartphones/tablets; unfortunately, very few of the former run Linux. And as for the latter, the majority of which run “Linux” in the form of Android, they are much likely to use Android-specific vulnerabilities.

[Tonio]

Nice.

[Slammer]

Here. Have some Italian sci-fi black metal

[Warty]

Much appreciated.

The new Nachtmystium is pretty underwhelming. It’s almost as if being a drug addict is bad for creativity after a while.

[Slammer]

The new Entombed A.D. is boring as fuck.

[Warty]

Entombed has been boring for a decade.

[Warty]

That said, PHOSPHOROS! LUCIFER!

[Cap'n Crunch]

Good news, everybody!

All It Took to Cure Baldness Was a Laser Beam, a Garage, and an Indiegogo Push

http://www.businessweek.com/ar…..egogo-push

[Matrix]

Aren’t there already products out there that use lasers to “regrow hair”?

[db]

Why didn’t he spend his time curing Ebola? Fucking greedy corporations!

[Cap'n Crunch]

Inside the Adult ADHD Brain

http://newsoffice.mit.edu/2014…..brain-0610

[JW]

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

[Clich? Bandit]

well i am certainly not getting into your car.

[Aloysious]

Megadeth and CeeLo Green cancel Israel concerts

Thrash metal band Megadeth and singer CeeLo Green have cancelled concerts in Israel amid the ongoing conflict in Gaza.

Megadeth’s website said its 6 August gig in Tel Aviv was cancelled because “passage” for the band and its gear could not be “guaranteed”.

[Slammer]

Passing metal gear hurts like fuck. Especially amps.

[Stormy Dragon]

I guess the change in Israel’s pockets just wasn’t enough.

[Stickler Meeseeks]

OT: Walgreen submits to Obama’s “economic patriotism.”
http://www.bloomberg.com/video…..pid=street

[Suthenboy]

Did they take a loyalty oath?

I will be switching my pharmacy.

[Brandon]

That’s a shame. Walgreens was at a convenient location.

[Warty]

I found out the hard way that my cousin is a porn star

It’s quite touching, actually. NOT IN THAT WAY. Well, actually, in that way.

[Andrew S.]

There is no way in hell I am clicking that link. Kinda because of the description, and especially because of who posted it. I’m already on a number of government watchlists because I post on H&R. I don’t need to be on any more of them.

[Gene]

I’m already on a number of government watchlists because I post on H&R

You mean that’s not a badge of honor to you?

[Coeus]

SFW? Please tell me it’s SFW.

[Warty]

Should be.

[Slammer]

ci0ci0san ? 2 hours ago
Great read, really touching.
I got weirdly teary reading it.

[Coeus]

Yep. He kinda dodged a bullet there. Coulda been way worse. Coulda ended up being Gauge or Jasmine St. Claire.

[Warty]

DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT GAUGE

[Coeus]

Hey, I’m a fan. Just saying it would have been a bit more traumatic to see his cousin with two dicks in her ass getting pissed on.

[Idle Hands]

Did he finish? I didn’t read enough to find out. I clicked for the pics.

[The DerpRider]

You know he was upset because he flogged and finished before he realized it was her.

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

hard way

*giggle*

[MJGreen]

Yeah, it’s a nice little story.

And Lexi Belle is freaking hot.

[Carl ?s his ? for ?s]

Australia’s Attorney General Says Metadata Collection Won’t Track Your Web Surfing, Just The Web Addresses You Visit (Huh?)

[Coeus]

In honor of the larger than usual number of comments on the temperature update today, I present:

Carbon Tax Temperature-Savings Calculator

Most enlightening. How much reduction in temperature increase, if we take every study touted by the CAGWs as gospel, would result if we reduced all the CO2 emissions of every developed country to zero tomorrow? Go ahead, guess.

[Coeus]

The results from our calculator are produced from climate change calculations performed using the MAGICC climate model simulator (MAGICC: Model for the Assessment of Greenhouse-gas Induced Climate Change). MAGICC was developed by scientists at the National Center for Atmospheric Research under funding by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

We are not creative enough to have made that acronym up. MAGICC is itself a collection of simple gas-cycle, climate, and ice-melt models to efficiently emulate the output of complex climate models. MAGICC produces projections of the global average temperature and sea level change under user configurable emissions scenarios and model parameters. MAGICC is run using its default model parameter settings except for climate sensitivity, which you can choose from between 1.5?C and 4.5?C.

[Coeus]

Bookmark this link. Seriously. It’s an immediate trump card in any carbon regulation tax argument. Either they agree that carbon tax is pointless, or they’re denying the science.

[Aloysious]

Female players say fake soccer turf violates Charter, threaten legal action

Making the world’s top female soccer players compete in World Cup games next year on artificial turf at stadiums across Canada is gender discrimination and violates human-rights law and even the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, according to a group of international players.

A group of international women’s soccer stars has retained two elite law firms, Boies Schiller & Flexner LLP in the United States and Osler Hoskin & Harcourt in Canada, and is threatening legal action over the decision to play the 2015 Women’s World Cup on a “second-class surface” they say causes more injuries and “degrades the women’s game.” The law firms are working for free.

I am obviously an idiot for not understanding how artificial grass = gender discrimination.

[Andrew S.]

Probably because it’s still banned in mens’ competitions.

[Slammer]

Feminists dig a lot of “grass on the playing field.”

[Gluesponge]

They should be glad they’re not asked to play on tile…

[Warty]

Fuck turf. Even with the good kind of turf, getting those little rubber pellets in your mouth and nose fucking sucks. And if you’re on the old kind of turf, enjoy your road rash and concussions.

[waffles]

I had a turf concussion once but I don’t remember it too well. I also have lost about 37 square inches of skin to the stuff.

[Restoras]

Go on…

[db]

They want grass on the fields? I guess we know why it’s not being held in Brazil.

[B.P.]

Is this because the growing season in Canada is around 10 days?

[Coeus]

Why using lube can help you become a better feminist

Last year, K. Michelle shared something on national television that many women won’t even admit to their best friend, gynecologist, or diary. She was experiencing problems with her vagina lubricating (without the assistance of whiskey). In other words, she couldn’t get “wet.” She was concerned?and most of the viewing public agreed?that her affectionately named “hot pocket” was broken. Naturally, “wet pussy” has been uplifted as one of the necessary components of a satisfying sexual experience for straight, cis men. But the notion that vaginas should always be wet is another way of suggesting that women’s bodies should be constantly available and ready for sexual consumption, specifically penetration. Because out here in the wild west, sex just happens.

That’s a lot of bitching from someone who’ll never have to deal with coke dick.

[Brandon]

Does it have to do with fisting?

[Trouser-Pod]

The ham-beast that wrote that? I can’t imagine anyone with a functioning brain being able to get it up for her without chemical help.

[Aloysious]

Bondi racist bus attack: Jewish schools on alert after eight men threaten to cut schoolchildren’s throats

JEWISH children as young as five were subjected to a terrifying racial attack when thugs stormed their school bus and threatened to slit their throats.

Screaming “Kill the Jews” and “Heil Hitler” the louts jumped on the bus packed with about 30 students, from kindergarten to year 12, who were on their way home from school yesterday.

[paranoid android]

While this is really horrifying, damned if I don’t find the idea of “heil Hitler” being said in an Australian accent strangely funny.

“‘oil ‘itlah!”

[Matrix]

This is what I don’t understand about some of my fellow Jews. For the most part, they’re very much against guns. I’m not, and the JPFO surely isn’t. We understand that anti-Semitism is still a very dangerous threat. And not just anti-Semitism, but just the regular thugs out there who rape, rob, and kill no matter the race, religion, or national origin of the victim.

[Restoras]

Whenever I bring this up with Jewish people I know who are anti-gun, their cognitive abilities cease to function.

[ant1sthenes]

Remind them that the dominant political ideology in America today is bankrolled and guided by a Nazi.

[Coeus]

This Runner Who Uses Nike+ To Draw Dicks While She Runs Is Our New Athletic Hero

For anyone who is a runner ? or even if you’re not ? you’re probably full aware of the tedium that comes with running miles upon miles for the sake of fitness, or something. (Even I don’t know why I do what I do.) Some of my runner friends get motivated with meticulously planned playlists or even GPS apps that simulate zombies chasing you, but I’ve never found anything that really works for me. Until now, that is. Copywriter Claire Wyckoff started a tumblr called Running Drawing, in which she posts pictures that she “draws” using her Nike+ app. SPOILER ALERT, most of them are of dicks.

[Aloysious]

From the little I can see of her picture… I like her. She seems to have her priorities in order. (I’m going to hell for that comment, I know it.)

[Aloysious]

Tesco launches investigation into ‘racist’ incident in Romford

Tesco has apologised to a Jewish shopper who was short-changed after a member of staff at the Romford Express store allegedly told her: “It’s only 40p? You Jews have enough money.”

…snip

Tesco has not acknowledged the incident was anti-Semitic in nature. However, in a letter to Ms Krimgoltz, a Tesco customer services manager gave his “sincere apologies for the way you were spoken to” and promises “to ensure a formal investigation is conducted through our disciplinary process”.

[Brett L]

Chick shoulda known Jews are so tight they’d go to the manager over 40p. She deserves whatever she gets from Tesco HR.

[Slammer]

On welfare? Can’t use food stamps for diapers? Don’t worry, California’s got your back.

[waffles]

CalWORKS has an extremely oxymoronic name.

[waffles]

Or is it ironic? I don’t even know anymore.

[PD Scott]

Oxyironic?

[waffles]

Sounds exfoliating.

[db]

I am going to make fucking millions when I get a government grant to develop an iPhone app to help welfare recipients develop optimal strategies for getting the most out of food stamps.

[db]

Brett, gonna need your help on the medical data side to help maximize disability benefits.

[Brett L]

Let’s do it. I’ll write up the pitch tonight. There’s probably already a grant out there. And I’m tired of my job.

[db]

Man my business partner’s gonna be pissed that I let this cat out of the bag.

[db]

Also, we’ll have to be careful lest we set of the Singularity with that much concentrated digital irony.

[SweatingGin]

Don’t even need a grant. New sharing economy app. Connect people buying things with foodstamps with those paying cash for those items at a discount.

[Tonio]

^This. Seriously. Sure, helping people cheat on welfare is anti-libertarian as hell but if it exposes the amount of fraud and hastens the demise of welfare, then, win.

[jesse.in.mb]

develop optimal strategies for getting the most out of food stamps.

Will it send messages like “Put the fucking X-Box controller down and learn to cook a basic fucking meal before CPS takes away your four children that you’re starving you miserable piece of shit”

Because that may have helped a family friend’s son and girlfriend a whole heap, or not, I’m sure they’re working on more as we speak. She never did get back to me about my offer to pay for getting her son snipped.

[The Last American Hero]

Now now, let’s not turn this into a circumcision debate again.

[B.P.]

Jesus, she must treasure your friendship.

Okay, I laughed.

[jesse.in.mb]

Jesus, she must treasure your friendship.

She thought I was joking, but then I offered to pay for a tubal ligation for the girlfriend too and knew how much each cost if paid directly in cash. She then said she’d check with her son.

Sadly she didn’t follow up. I would consider paying for the little shitpile getting sterilized to be a triumph of humanitarian virtue.

My friend tried to take the kids in, instead of them going to CPS, but the girlfriend doesn’t like the friend because she tells the girlfriend and her son not to be useless shits, so she told CPS the the friend was unfit.

They’re legitimately awful people.

[Brandon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnIMCpevwTs

[JEP]

I’m still having trouble with the idea of a person on food stamps being able to afford an iPhone.

[Tonio]

Well, it is possible that they received the iPone as a gift, or acquired it before becoming poor. But a person with character would sell every last thing of value before going on public assistance.

[JEP]

Hell, I’m fairly well off for a person my age, and I’m seriously considering selling everything except the bare essentials to minimize the clutter in my life.

[jesse.in.mb]

Gonzalez cited lyrics from a 2002 Eminem song as inspiration for her bill

And that’s all I needed to read.

[db]

Next up the “Menace, a Dentist, an Oral Hygienist” dental health bill.

[Andrew S.]

To the extent that we’re going to keep giving people welfare, there should be fewer restrictions on them. Not sure why there needs to be an extra stipend for it though. Plus this paragraph made me cringe:

Both centers have partnered with Help A Mother Out, a diaper bank that primarily serves the San Francisco Bay Area, and say they have not had to turn away families seeking diapers since those partnerships began. De Guzman says a public program is still needed, however.

The private charities are making this work. However, that doesn’t keep people dependent on the government. Which is why we need a new government program!

[Brandon]

De Guzman is a mendacious cunt who wants to take credit for work other people are doing.

[PapayaSF]

I’m old enough to remember back when people argued in favor of abortion, widespread birth control, and more sex education, because all of that would mean that poor people wouldn’t have kids they couldn’t support. Somehow, it didn’t work out that way.

[Matrix]

Officer puts gun to boy’s throat in McDonald’s drive thru for taking too long

10 years probation and no prison sentence.

Now look, I know we all get frustrated by really long wait times at the drive thru, but sheesh.

[waffles]

I just go in the store. The drive through in the burb near my work is always 4-5 cars deep and the store empty.

[Jordan]

Same. I never use the drive-though, anywhere.

[Matrix]

Yeah, I tend to go inside if there is a long line at the drive thru, because it is usually a hell of a lot faster.

Chick-fil-a is usually wrapped up around the restaurant for the drive thru. Go inside and takes maybe 4-5 minutes tops. Less than that if there isn’t a line inside.

[B.P.]

Same. It’s inevitable that, when I go to the drive thru, I get behind that person who seems to be catering a wedding or something.

[Stormy Dragon]

Or the amatuer journalist conducting an interview for an in-depth story on the restaurant’s new menu.

[Apatheist ?_??]

A litre of cola!

[Matrix]

It’s French for “give me some fucking cola before I punch vous face!”

[Aloysious]

In pictures: World War One anniversary

Ceremonies have been held across the UK and in Belgium to mark 100 years since Britain joined World War One.

[Apatheist ?_??]

I love how they send William out to be the public face of the royal family instead of Charles.

[Matrix]

Burglary victims tells 9-1-1 operator “I’ll put my gun down when I see the police”

That is an asinine suggestion from the 9-1-1 operator. Telling a burglary victim to put their gun down when faced with a dangerous intruder? Holy fuckballs is that person stupid.

[Steve G]

Maybe the operator knew how trigger happy the cops were going to be. All-in-all it’s not an outrageous leap when you think about it.

[Aloysious]

In pictures: India’s e-waste village

From picture #8: Kochimuni, 15, sits in front of his mud house sorting e-waste.

Attention Leftists: that is what poverty looks like.

[Coeus]

Seemed like a good idea at the time…

[PapayaSF]

He needs to get together with the Brit who used hair-removal cream on his frank and beans.

[Coeus]

What happened to Lake Erie? Ronald Regan.

When I was a kid, Lake Erie was a joke: it was a polluted cesspool with rivers that caught on fire. Places like Erie and Love Canal were the punchlines of a national sense of disgust with abuse of the environment, and amazingly, people got together and changed things: new tighter regulations, clean up of the worst cases (well, that was begun but never finished), and in general, we saw a reduction in pollution around the country.

Then?fucking Ronald fucking Reagan fucking fucked everything up. Trees cause pollution. Regulation is bad for the economy. And every Republican since has followed the same script, right up to “drill baby drill”. Even the Democrats are getting in the act.

And the end result is that everything is turning to shit again.

[Clich? Bandit]

zebra mussels?

[Jesus H. Christ]

40 years of democrat control and it’s still Reagan’s / Bush’s fault. Amazing.

[Suthenboy]

Good God, that site is nothing but insufferable assholes.

[Brandon]

Isn’t that PZ Myers’ site? Yeah, it’s insufferable assholes all the way down.

[Stormy Dragon]

Ann Coulter on why leaving the country is unchristian for some reason:

http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2014-08-06.html

[guru]

Random Thought: Christian branding on misery tourism makes it no less unseemly.