Judgement Day for Justin Amash, Business Leaders Push Africa Trade Changes, Sweet Debate at the FDA: A.M. Links


  • Rep. Justin Amash/Facebook

    Voters in Kansas, Michigan, and Washington head to the primary ballot boxes today. Incumbent Republican Rep. Kerry Bentivolio is expected to lose in Michigan, but several other incumbents—including Reps. Justin Amash (R-Mich.) and Mike Pompeo (R-Kan.)—are predicted to keep their seats. 

  • Meanwhile in Mississippi, state Sen. Chris McDaniel is claiming that results of the GOP's June primary, in which Sen. Thad Cochran emerged victorious, are invalid. "McDaniel clearly won the runoff by 25,000 votes," his attorney said Monday. 
  • ceasefire is taking place in the Gaza Strip. Allegedly. Again. The three-day killing moratorium went into effect Tuesday morning. 
  • Technology to start experimenting with artificial wombs exists, but legal and ethical qualms could keep human trials in the distant future. 
  • The FDA will begin mulling whether "sugars" and "added sugars" need separate slots on nutrition labels. 
  • Representatives from dozens of big U.S. corporations are in D.C. today to announce and discuss business investments in Africa and push for changes to U.S.-Africa trade deals. 

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  1. The FDA will begin mulling whether “sugars” and “added sugars” need separate slots on nutrition labels.

    They go right to your label’s hips.

    1. Hello.

      “Representatives from dozens of big U.S. corporations are in D.C. today to announce and discuss business investments in Africa and push for changes to U.S.-Africa trade deals.”

      You pay me now! says China.

      What did the Chinese businessman say to the American? “High five! On the side! Down low…too SLOW!”

      Ok. Enough of that.

    2. I think they need to separately label sugars that are left handed from those that are right…The Chiral Transparency Act of 14 can ban discriminination based on homo or hetero chirality.

      1. Aren’t all biologically produced sugars right handed?

        1. On this world perhaps!

  2. Technology to start experimenting with artificial wombs exists, but legal and ethical qualms could keep human trials in the distant future.

    Helloooooooooo new abortion debate.

    1. This should do a pretty good job of ending the debate.

      1. My artificial womb, my choice!

        1. You didn’t build that!

      2. This should do a pretty good job of ending the debate.

        Ending? One?

        Abortion, eugenics, forced sterilization, wardship, child welfare… I don’t see it ending any of them.

        Hell, some of them, with the advent of artificial wombs, make me want to adopt some statist solutions to fix the broken statist solutions we already have.

    2. When our future reptile overlords launched the war on women they didn’t have this in mind.

    3. Leave it to the Patriarchy to steal the last natural privilege of the Woman: the right to conceive and abort. Installing artificial wombs in men will now complete the subjugation of the female and the corruption of the holy sacrament of termination.

    4. If you have a Constitutional right to evict a fetus by killing it, why don’t you have a Constitutional right to evict a fetus into an artificial womb?

      I don’t see how artificial wombs can be subjected to an undue burden by being barred by legal and ethical qualms.

  3. Technology to start experimenting with artificial wombs exists, but legal and ethical qualms could keep human trials in the distant future.

    But abortion’s all good

    1. Between the two, putting your baby in artificial womb would be overwhelmingly the lesser evil, despite the Brave New Worldish overtones. Better machine-raised than dead.

      1. putting your baby in artificial womb

        And by this you mean sexbots?

        1. Um, how WOULD artificial insemination work, anyway? Just curious. Just curious.

      2. They’re probably afraid the kids will end up like Harry Harlow subjects.

      3. Proggies should love it, after all, the village will have to raise the child.

      4. The Brave New World crossed my mind too. Huxley won for most accurate distopia novel of the 20th century.

        1. I think 1984 is more accurate.

          And Harrison Bergeron probably beats both, although it isnt a novel, so I guess is disqualified.

          Atlas Shrugged is pretty damn on target too.

          1. It’s been 40 years since I read them both, so I have trouble keeping Brave New World and 1984 totally separate in my mind.

            I’ve come to treat them as two different eye-witnesses to the same catastrophe.

            1. Here’s an entertaining 60-second comparison between BNW and 1984.

              Amusing Ourselves to Death

              1. It’s pretty much a graphic illustration of Sudden’s post below.

          2. I agree with Neil Postman on Huxley having a more accurate read than Orwell. Behold:

            “Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley’s vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.

            What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.

            Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism.

            Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.

            Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy.

            As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny “failed to take into account man’s almost infinite capacity for distractions.” In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.”

            1. TL;DR was txting

        2. “I’m a Delta, and I’m happy!”

        3. Brave New World is more accurate. We are distracted by mindless shit- a sensory overload so we don’t see the true machine at work

          1. I thought Atlas Shrugged was a documentary.

            1. If it was a documentary, the actors would not keep changing in the sequels.

          2. Not to mention we’re about two years away from birth control in the water.

    2. Nothing will turn feminists off abortion faster than realizing that men are about to have that right too.

      1. I really am looking forward to how feminists repond to the eventual male pill, whenever it comes out. Something tells me they are not going to like it.

        1. “How dare you take away MY RIGHT!!11!1!1!11 to trap a man by lying about getting pregnant.”


  4. “Why should we refuse the charms of the soil to those at the end of their lives?

    A hospital in the French city of Clermont-Ferrand is to open a wine bar where terminally ill patients will be able to enjoy a “medically-supervised” glass or two with their families.

    1. Let them get too drunk to remember that they’re dying.

    2. What’s next? Prostitutes and cocaine for the dying? Assisted SUICIDE?


    3. You mean they weren’t allowed wine before? In *France*?

      1. My question as well.

      2. Don’t be glib about our froggy friends. They’re known for many things other than wine, like regular car-torching riots and their failing socialist welfare state.

  5. So are we still cool with Rand Paul now that he has realized he needs jew gold to run for president?

    1. he has realized he needs jew gold to run for president?

      what does that even mean?

      1. He is now denying that he ever called for an end to sending our money to fund the Israeli butchers.

        1. The Kosher Cattle Processors association never got US subsidy.

        2. As I said yesterday, he was technically correct, as his budget proposal was never a legislative proposal.

          But its a really lame form of technically correct.

        3. oh, good; Joo-hate to start the day. Lot of truth in what Netanyahu has repeatedly said: if Palestinians lay down their weapons, there will be peace; if Israelis do, there will be no Israel.

          1. You believe those crafty lying JOOOS? Those are just more JOO lies and propaganda against the peaceful Palestinians.

            1. Charming race card playing guys, did not know you were dealers.

              1. Look, Bo. You gotta either hate the Joos or the A-Rabs. Make up your fucking mind.

                1. HATE SOMEONE, RIGHT NOW!

                2. Bo made up his mind. He’s just crafty enough to not come out and openly blame teh joooos.

                3. What the fuck are you talking about? The Joos/A-Rab is not the issue here, Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not ? also, Dude, “A-Rab” is not the preferred nomenclature. Towel-Head, please.

                4. I’m Anti-Semitic, and fortunately that covers both peoples in theory.

              2. Race card? What fucking drugs are you on where religion is a race? You really are a tedious dick.

                1. Race card? What fucking drugs are you on where religion is a race? You really are a tedious dick.

                  Speaking of tedious…

                  You understood his point. Calling someone an anti-Semite for not wanting to support Israel is just as idiotic and tiresome as calling someone racist for not supporting affirmative action or some other pet issue.

                  1. Speaking of tedious, all right, the issue is not failing to support Israel, the issue is drawing an idiotic moral equivalence between the Israelis and Palestinians.

                    1. And where is this moral equivalence? It’s funny how so many supposed “small government” types aren’t willing to even countenance the thought that perhaps governments behave badly during wartime. It’s all about the TEAM. Someone criticized Israel? Shout them down!

                    2. Sure, that’s exactly it. No one here has ever gone the route that the Israelis are just as bad and equally at fault. Maybe you haven’t been around for the majority of shit-flinging that’s taken place.

                    3. The lack of any nuance does get tiresome. Yes, Israel has a right to defend itself. And the Palestinian rocket attacks are pretty indefensible. That doesn’t mean that everything Israel does is necessary and beyond reproach or that it isn’t tragic when innocent Palestinians are killed.
                      There is a sort of moral equivalence between most Israeli people and most Palestinian Arab people in that most of them are just people trying to live their lives. That’s why war is awful and why people should draw attention to the awful things that necessarily happen in wars.

          2. if Palestinians lay down their weapons, there will be peace**

            **bulldozing of houses, checkpoints, and concrete walls notwithstanding

        4. He is now denying that he ever called for an end to sending our money to fund the Israeli butchers.

          I.e. he is a politician?

    2. I don’t want to fund the Israel but I understand that if one wants to work in government you cannot be against giving all the money and guns to Israel. Meh. Decidedly meh.

      1. One could simply advocate for ending all foreign aid and be done with it.

        1. Worked great for Ron.

          1. I don’t think it actually worked against Ron; he had other issues. I really don’t think too many Americans among the voting public are highly in favor of funding shit for other countries.

          2. Well, that’s America’s fault. We don’t like principles.

        2. Maybe he would like for this not to be conflated with ending aid to Israel specifically.

          1. THIS. And of course it would be.

    3. “Jew gold.”

      Really, dude? Are we still doing that? I thought we’d gotten all the poo-flinging out of our collective systems and could move on to rational, adult discussion.

    4. This whole thread reminds me of Dante and Randall talking at the counter while Jay is outside singing “put that shit in my hand…”

      I am Silent Bob in this scenario.

  6. A ceasefire is taking place in the Gaza Strip. Allegedly. Again. The three-day killing moratorium went into effect Tuesday morning.

    Three days crammed into one morning.

    1. I’m pissed- I took the under on 90 minutes.

      1. If only Intrade had the balls to tell the US to fuck off.

  7. Hero cop wins NYPD ‘Combat Cross’, celebrates by assaulting female neighbor

    “Sometimes I’m a good guy, but sometimes I’m a bad guy,”

    Officer Eugene Donnelly, 27, was charged Monday with burglary and assault for allegedly busting down the door of the frightened woman’s apartment in the Woodlawn section of The Bronx at 5:30 a.m. June 11, and punching her repeatedly as she lay in her bed, sources said.

    The investigation wrapped up Monday morning, and he was arraigned on charges of burglary, assault, criminal trespass and harassment.

    Donnelly was released on his own recognizance Monday.

    1. Released on his own recognizance, just like a peasant “civilian” would be.

      1. Maybe he just wasn’t trained not to bust into his neighbor’s house in a drunken rage and beat the shit out of her.

        1. Thank FSM he made it home safely.

    2. Amazingly they released his name.

      1. And they put scare quotes around “hero”. Must be an op-ed. The Post is the most cop-sucking paper in NYC.

    3. I hope he said it in a Tony Montana voice.

      1. “First you get the meal, then you get the booze… then, you get the women!”

        1. crap. “Medal”, not meal.

          1. i was ok with meal.

    4. “Combat Cross”?! WTF?

      You want “combat” join the Armed Forces.

      I want to cram a CAB down this guys throat.

      1. That’s a good point, I actually missed that little tidbit. Why the fuck would there even be such an award for a cop? They are not soldiers in combat, and damn shouldn’t be acting as though they are. The fact that this shit is celebrated shows just how bad things have gotten.

        1. They should have a permanant dock in pay every time they ‘interact’ with members of the public. After three years, they’d be paying to be cops. And the pension problem would fix itself.

        2. The Police Combat Cross is awarded to police officers who, “having received Honorable Mention awards, successfully and intelligently perform an act of extraordinary heroism while engaged in personal combat with an armed adversary under circumstances of imminent personal hazard to life”.

          They all perform extraordinary acts of heroism merely by making sure they get home safely and shooting a dog armed with teeth and a snarl qualifies for that last part, but I defy you to find one who fits the intelligence criteria. Hell, this guy got a gold star from the teacher on account of how smart he is and look how smart he acts compared to, say, a moderately well-behaved chimpanzee.

          1. I thought police departments rejected cops who were too smart.

    5. stripped of his gun and badge and put on modified duty.

      “Modified duty” had better involve playing assailant dummy with the police dogs, without the suit.

  8. I’ll have to go vote for Amash today… one of the few times I vote and don’t mind the choices.

    1. Yeah, I’d be happy to vote for someone like Amash.

      Oooh, but I get to vote for Scott Brown or Jeanne Shaheen later this year!

      1. There’s a Libertarian in that race, no?

        1. I hope so, or I’m leaving it blank.

      2. Brown won the primary?

        My dream of a moving to libertarian NH someday is fading.

        1. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Free State my ass.

          1. I mean, good luck with all that shit, but I’ll believe it’s a “Free State” when you can buy liquor at a liquor store, not an ABC.

            1. NY has private liquor stores – Free State! Free State!

              1. I used to work two floors below the Liquor Control Board… those ‘private’ stores are two steps shy of quangos with the amount of interference they get.

          2. Looks like they’ve chosen the latter of “Live Free or Die”.

          3. Again, no one is claiming that it is a free state now.
            I still think that with low population and a large legislature, we’re in a better position than most states.

        2. Drake, are you in Jersey?

          1. Yes – but I can dream of freedom.

            1. isn’t that against the law in Jersey?

        3. NH primaries aren’t until September.

    2. What’s the vibe in your district? Are you feeling confident or nervous about Justin’s chances?

      1. Feeling good – at least based on the yard sign numbers – and the work of Amash’s ground game. Yesterday each door in our neighborhood had a reminder to vote for Amash on Tuesday.

        Nothing from the Ellis camp – his staff/workers never even went door-to-door, unlike Amash’s.

        1. This is what I like to hear. Candidates have got to run like they’re scared. No one wants to end up like Mike Castle from Delaware.

          1. Yes. And more confirmation Amash isn’t an idiot.

    1. All of them are my favorite.

    2. Yes!

  9. Israeli Destruction of School Questioned

    “An examination of an Israeli barrage that put a line of at least 10 shells through a United Nations school sheltering displaced Palestinians here last week suggests that Israeli troops paid little heed to warnings to safeguard such sites and may have unleashed weapons inappropriate for urban areas despite rising alarm over civilian deaths.

    Inspection of the damage, a preliminary United Nations review that collected 30 pieces of shrapnel, and interviews with two dozen witnesses indicate that the predawn strikes on Wednesday, July 30, that killed 21 people at the school, in the crowded Jabaliya refugee camp, were likely to have come from heavy artillery not designed for precision use.”


    1. Commentary on School Destruction from Slate’s Saletan

      “If you see Israel as a bully, the Jabaliya incident looks like a massacre, one of many deliberate strikes on civilian targets. If you see Israel as inherently moral?the world’s only Jewish state, democratic, besieged, and acting in self-defense?the natural inference is that somebody else, no doubt Hamas, must be responsible for the error. But the evidence suggests that the truth may lie in between: Any civilized country could commit such an atrocity. That doesn’t make it any less an atrocity. In fact, it makes the atrocity even more disturbing.”


      1. Im not sure what that last sentence means.

        1. I wonder if Slate thinks that applies to Obama’s drone strikes?

        2. Double standards. We should excuse atrocities from Hamas because we know they’re unciviized.

          1. The whole “conflict” seems to be a exercise in idiocy. It’s only going to end when one wipes the other off the planet. In the meantime our gov. should stop wasting time and money trying to solve something that will never be solved peacefully and at the same time arming the participants.

            1. On second thought; every minute they spend contemplating how they will solve the problem inevitable fucking things up worse than they are there, means one less minute they will try and “solve” problems here inevitable fucking things up worse than they are here.

          2. I think the idea is that its more disturbing to see how a country that is otherwise quite ‘liberal’ can work itself into doing such things.

            1. What, firing on facilities used to store weapons and attack their troops is something that just isn’t done in polite circles?

      2. If you see Israel as inherently moral?the world’s only Jewish state

        What’s moral about a Jewish state? What’s good about any state based on a religion?

    2. heavy artillery not designed for precision use.

      You know who else used artillery not designed for precision use?

        1. Genghis Khan?

        2. God fights on the side with the best artillery.
          Napoleon Bonaparte

      1. George Washington?

      2. USA at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

        1. I guess it would have been easier/more relevant to say Truman.

    3. I’m so tired of all of this, we should do whats right and nuke the entire site from orbit just to be sure. Why can’t they both be assholes? Why does one side have to right and the other wrong? Why do we have to defend Israel? Why do we have to defend Hamas? just make it stop.

      1. Why do I have to care?

        1. Why do I have to talk rhetorically?

          1. What if we all started writing like Judge Napolitano?

            1. What if we didn’t?

              1. I’d be happier, I don’t like unanswered questions in my comments.

            2. “What if they held a war and nobody came, man?”

              1. “What if they held a war and nobody came, man?”

                We declare victory, annex the territory, and move on to the next.

      2. which of the two sides has the power to make it stop. If one stopped firing, what would happen? See if you notice any difference in potential outcome based on which did the stopping.

        1. The thing is one side will never stop as it is a foil they use to keep their populations anger focused on a group of people that are “over there” rather than the ones that are robbing them blind and lording over them.

          1. you asked why one side has to be right and the other wrong. I’m sure Israel can be nasty if it has to, but as your subsequent post says, one side seems to need perpetual hostility more than the other. I find the one that needs it worse than the other, but that’s just me.

            1. But. but Joooooooozzzzz!!1!1!

            2. one side seems to need perpetual hostility more than the other

              Man, if you don’t see the Palestinians as a necessary boogy man for the Israeli state, then I can’t help you.

      3. Why not just the the parties fight among themselves?

        Why does the US have to be involved?

        Why do Americans insist that that the US is the indispensable nation that must inject itself in every conflict?

    4. Well, we know that Hamas was storing weapons in UN schools, and firing on Israelis from UN schools. I wouldn’t assume that Hamas hadn’t made that school a legitimate target.

  10. Overkill: Renters “bomb” fleas, set Muskegon-area house on fire

    The home in the 700 block of East Giles Road sustained an estimated $20,000 in damage after renters staying at the home ignited 16 flea bombs, said Muskegon Township Fire Chief Dave E. Glotzbach.

    The gas propellant used in the bombs was ignited by a pilot light on a gas water heater in the basement, he said.

    “More’s not always better,” Glotzbach said, explaining that four to six bombs would have been sufficient. “They were upstairs, they were downstairs.”

    1. I guess the Great Mutato finally took it one step too far.

    2. With products like Frontline, who the fuck needs to flea bomb their house?

      1. Is Frontline approved for human use? Because after your cat and/or dog get Frontlined, those fleas are going to want to bite something…or rather, some ONE. E.g., you.

        So you are the f*ck who needs flea bombs, genius.

  11. Meanwhile in Mississippi, state Sen. Chris McDaniel is claiming that results of the GOP’s June primary, in which Sen. Thad Cochran emerged victorious, are invalid.

    Isn’t his operative’s claiming the same of the senator’s wife what lost him the primary in the first place?

    1. They’ve supposedly identified thousands of votes that were cast illegally (Dem voters who had already voted in the Dem primary).

      If true, they’ve got a good case.

      One that will be ignored by the Republican Party, and won’t be remedied by the courts until sometime long after the election is held.

  12. University President Takes $90,000 Pay Cut to Give a Raise to His Minimum Wage Workers


    1. So the poor guy is only working for $260k?

      1. So the poor guy is only working for $260k?

        Plus benefits.

      1. You don’t even know what a write off is!

        1. Damn you!

        2. You don’t even know what a write off is!

          Is it some sort of literary battle, like Iron Chef for english majors?

          1. Today’s secret ingredient is – Flan.

        3. But they do, and they’re the ones writing it off.

      2. And a dessert topping.

    2. A $3/hr raise x 40hrs x 52 weeks = $6240 per year.

      $90,000 / $6240 = 14.423 blah blah blah.

      So he gave 14 full time minimum wage employees a $3/hr raise. I wonder how the people who make $8.25/hr feel now.

    3. I’m against a min wage as much as the next guy, but as misguided as this guy is, he put his money where his mouth is. And he gave up a huge part of his salary — I wouldn’t give away $90K if I were making a million bucks a year.

      1. he put his the taxpayers’ money where his mouth is

        Kentucky State University

        1. His salary is paid with tax money, yes, but he still voluntarily reduced the amount he was getting.

    4. “My whole thing is I don’t need to work,”…

      “…as it will reportedly remain in place, and apply to new hires, even after Burse’s tenure at the school is over.

      Not to take anything away from the guy, but we can establish from the article that dude “doesn’t need to work”, which after an academic admin career culminating in a $350k paycheck is probably true, and the pay raise will extend beyond his year-long stint, meaning that the cut isn’t actually paying for the raises. So…what exactly did he do again?

        1. Or a modern version of an indulgence.

          1. Yes, he paid his penance for being part of “the 1%”.

    5. Huh. The state of Florida caps state pay to any employee, including university presidents at, I believe, $250k/year. Additional compensation has to come from private sources, usually the University foundation. I wonder if he has a similar deal.

  13. Executive directives ? and misdirection

    To be pedantic (I think I’m supposed to say first that I hate to be pedantic, but I’m a professor, and that would be a lie), this is both true and hugely misleading. It is true that President Obama has issued fewer executive orders both in absolute terms, and on an order-per-year basis, than most of his recent or even recent-ish predecessors. It’s also true that executive orders can matter greatly, as with Obama’s expansion of protections for the employees of federal contractors.

    And yet to equate executive orders (a formal type of presidential directive) with executive powers, as the White House and its allies seek to do, is to misdirect ? to hope that the hand will be quicker than the eye. As Philip Bump has put it, the fuss is about executive actions more broadly. While Obama issued only 20 executive orders in 2013 (the lowest single-year total in more than a century), that same year he issued 41 presidential memoranda to the heads of departments and agencies, along with nine additional presidential “determinations” designed to serve as the basis for bureaucratic behavior.

    1. My god, look at the zombie expression on the worker next to him. North Korea really is the world’s longest ongoing holocaust. It’s heart-breaking.

      1. I don’t think I want to know what’s coming out of that pipe.

        1. Apparently Soylent Green has artificial color added after this point in the processing.

        2. Brown 25.

      2. You can see it in his eyes. He’s terrified of making one wrong move.

        1. He’ll be shot for not smiling

        2. It’s like a scene from a mob film where the Don is laughing but everyone else is glancing sideways at each other.

          Like KJU liquidated a snitch and is squirting his remains into the drum.

    2. Twitter blocked, is there a link to just pic?

        1. Also doesn’t work. Rats 🙁

          1. Your work computer probably opted to disable searching for things that look like fecal matter. Care to explain why that is?

    3. Caption:

      “Look at that! Wow, I just turned your whole family into pudding! Yum!”

  14. …several other incumbents?including Reps. Justin Amash (R-Mich.) and Mike Pompeo (R-Kan.)?are predicted to keep their seats.

    If these are primaries, isn’t that true regardless?

    1. Uh, no, because if they lose the primary, they’re done.

      They’re in the “seat” until the session is over.

    1. Dammit, how many shopping days until Obamass? I got an artificial Obamass tree this year.

      1. Obamass? Isn’t that Michelle’s posterior?

      2. RELAX! Libertarians celebrate Obamass at Festivus — it just adds zest to the Airing of the Grievances.

        1. Can we burn in effigy to keep warm?

  15. DeBlasio Finds Creating New Government Programs Can Cause All Kinds of Problems (Who’d of thunk it?)

    “The biblical story of Noah’s Ark will be taught, without mention of who told Noah to build it. Challah, the Jewish bread eaten on the Sabbath, will be baked, but no blessings said over it. Some crucifixes will be removed, but others left hanging.

    These are the kinds of church-state gymnastics that New York City and some religious schools are performing as Mayor Bill de Blasio expands government-funded prekindergarten. Because of inadequate public school capacity, the de Blasio administration has been urging religious schools and community organizations to consider hosting the added programs.”


    1. Don’t worry. The kids will it figure out: Noah built the Ark because scientific consensus conclusively demonstrated that human sinfulness would cause global climate change. The time for debate was over, but only Noah took action. Too bad about everybody else.

    2. Wasn’t this one of his big agenda items? And he didn’t have a good plan? Or a plan at all? He just said, “We need XYZ. Vote for me because my intention is to create XYZ.” No plan. No determination if his dream was even possible without a lot of other changes beforehand.

  16. Peter Hitchens on “The Foul Tornado” – not the Sharknado, World War One.

    “If they could hold a parade of the twentieth century’s war dead, how long would it take these dark, hollow-eyed battalions to march, night and day, trundling their enormous guns behind them, through the once-tranquil capitals that ordained their deaths? Could anyone bear to watch?”


  17. Peaches are being sold with tiny knickers on them in China

    According to Kotaku, the special-edition peaches on a bed of satin are being sold ahead of Qixi Festival, a romantic celebration sometimes known as Chinese Valentine’s Day.

    The arse-peaches apparently originated with a fruit shop owner in Nanjing, China News reports. They are put together using “customised underwear from a well-known lingerie brand”.

    They cost 498 yuan, or about ?60, for a pack of nine. Expensive peaches, or cheap arses? You decide.

  18. I hate humanity, part 7,573

    An Australian couple is accused of rejecting their Down’s Syndrome son born to a Thai surrogate, and taking only his healthy sister.

    They deny even knowing of his existence.

    Now it’s revealed the father has three convictions for sexually assaulting little girls. The Thai surrogate wants the little girl back


  19. Raccsitisiiiisstt!

    Americans face kale shortages after supplier ran out of seeds

    The iron-rich but bitter leafy green has become the latest so-called superfood among health-conscious Americans, found in salads as a side dish and even in chip form. But now those who love the trendy veggie are in for price increases, according to reports.

    A major Australian kale supplier, Bejo Seeds, ran out of the seeds needed to grow the plants, halting supplies to farmers worldwide.

    1. Well, I have plenty of kale.

      Does that make me racist?

    2. Raccsitisiiiisstt!

      Pretty sure you have kale confused with colored greens.

        1. *Collerd

          1. Sorry, waffles, that spelling only comes up with a null entry.

        2. Mmmm, collard greens cooked with pork fat. With some cornbread, I hope.

          1. I’m not a fan of cornbread, probably because I always end up with super-dry loaves.

            1. You’re doing it wrong. First of all, “loaves?” One does not cook “loaves” of cornbread.

              Iron is key, as is buttermilk.

            2. You’re making the batter too dry, perhaps not enough egg and buttermilk – it should be like cake batter. Throw a can of creamed corn in the batter (add chopped jalepenos for some zing), add a teaspoon of baking powder for extra rise, let it sit for a few minutes before you pour it in your pre-heated cast-iron skillet. And make sure your pre-heated skillet has about half a cup of lard in it – you want a big puddle of grease on top of the batter when you’re done pouring it in so you wind up with almost deep-fried corn bread, a crispy, greasy, golden-brown rind on your corn cake.

              1. you’re making me hungry…

              2. That sounds like a terrible waste.

                1. Think of it as baked and fried polenta. In fact, I’m going to start marketing it that way.

              3. It could also be mixing it up too much. I can’t remember what bad effects that has, but it’s something that you’re not supposed to do.

                I’m not in the MUST BE LARD camp, but I agree with the general concept of a goodly amount of fat.

              4. I love cooking with lard. I only recently discovered it, and it goes in place of vegetable oil in so many good ways!

            3. That’s what the gravy is for.

              1. I fucking love cornbread. It’s one of those things that’s hard to find made properly in restaurants, too, unless they have the appropriate Deep South bona fides. Or can fake it good.

                We have cast iron primarily for the purpose of making cornbread. Usually in a skillet, but my dad found me an old-style (i.e., shaped like sticks, not like corn or whatever) cornstick pan, which rules.

                1. Just don’t put any fucking sugar in the cornbread. Gross.

                  1. Wait, that’s legal? What the fuck is the point of the FDA?

                  2. ^^THIS^^

                    1. @ Warty, BTW.

      1. That is awesome, but I’m unclear on whether it’s an example of joe’z Law, RC’z Law, or just a classic John-ism.

        1. RC’z Law, thanks. Johnism are exemplars, even paragons, of RC’z Law.

      2. now who is being racist 😉

    3. I’ve got a whole bed of kale growing in the compound. I didn’t realize that it would make me rich.

      1. J.J.?

    4. I don’t think I had ever heard of kale before last fall.

      1. What’s odd is that we’ve been eating kale on occasion for a while–well before it became a thing. That’s by virtue of getting random stuff in our farmers’ market share.

        1. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you’ve be selectively breeding kale over millennia.

      2. Eh. They used it as a decorative green for plating at a restaurant I worked at in the 90s. Nobody was expected to eat it.

    5. Wake me up when The Obamas replace their arugula with it.

    6. Thanks be to God, I have a reason to keep that wretched vegetable off the grocery list.

    7. Oh no! Just as kale chips are taking off.

  20. “McDaniel clearly won the runoff by 25,000 votes,” his attorney said Monday.

    As if we needed more proof that Rethuglifucks are suppressing the vote! Fuck!

    1. Actually, no, they were actually expanding the vote…by allowing people to vote more than once.

  21. Apple Buybacks Pay Most Ever as CEOs Spend $211 Billion

    Spurred on by zero-percent interest rates and the highest cash balances on record, companies are plowing capital into the equity market to curb supply and buttress per-share earnings. While Scott Wren of Wells Fargo Advisors LLC says there are usually better things to do with capital, companies with the most repurchases have beat the S&P 500 during the bull market.

    “It’s a low-quality way to increase your earnings and obviously I’d much rather see companies grow the business through revenue,” Wren, the St. Louis-based senior equity strategist at Wells Fargo Advisors, said in a phone interview. “But when the economy’s growing at 2 to 2.5 percent, you have to do what you can to keep the ball rolling.”

  22. Jonah Goldberg: WWI demons live

    “I believe it is no exaggeration,” wrote sociologist Robert Nisbet, “to say that the West’s first real experience with totalitarianism ? political absolutism extended into every possible area of culture and society, education, religion, industry, the arts, local community and family included, with a kind of terror always waiting in the wings ? came with the American war state under Woodrow Wilson.”

    Wilson introduced domestic spying, censorship, violent political intimidation of opponents and economic statism into the American DNA. Pro-Wilson intellectuals celebrated the “social possibilities of war,” in the words of John Dewey. By that they meant the ability to force Americans to, as Frederick Lewis Allen put it, “lay by our good-natured individualism and march in step.” The enduring notion that experts could plan the economy from Washington was largely born in Wilson’s “war socialism.”

    1. Wouldn’t much of that be applicable to the Lincoln administration during the Civil War? War is the health of the state.

      1. So, to continue with my weird “life imitates movies in my head” I picture MNG errr I mean Bo as the Skeksis Chamberlin. The creepy gelfling is obviously SF (Could be Epi) and the girl gelfling is Nicole, cause well…you know. Shrike is one of Chamberlin’s lackeys. And of course I am that old mystic who gets fucked cause his counter part fell off a cliff.

    2. Fuck John Dewey. Seriously. It makes complete sense that he’s the father of the US public school system.

    3. Where is the “Like” button? I want to “Like” this article!

    4. the West’s first real experience with totalitarianism

      Louis XVI?

  23. A husband-and-wife couple enjoys mingling with gay-rights demonstrators, holding up hostile signs like “Sodomy is wrong” and “Support our tolerant agenda or we’ll drive you out of business!”

    No, wait, if they did that the demonstrators would attack them.

    This husband and wife mingles with anti-abortion protesters with signs mocking the demonstrators, especially the white male ones. They don’t seem to have held up mocking signs next to the black woman protesters.


    1. “Humor”

    2. I’m not sure I’ve seen any “gay-rights protestors” anywhere.

  24. Yahoo wants you to feel sorry for this guy:

    Not so golden: Wealth gap lasting into retirement

    Kistler, a 63-year-old resident of Golden, Colorado, has been unable to build up a nest egg for himself and his wife with his modest salary at a nonprofit. He has saved little in a 401(k) over the past decade, after spending most of his working life self-employed. That puts him far behind many wealthier Americans approaching retirement.

    Fuck this guy.

    1. Why should we fuck the self-employed?

      1. Because it’s better than supporting a pimp.

    2. ^this

      That puts him far behind many wealthier Americans approaching retirement.

      And still ahead of 90% of the rest of the world’s people.

    3. Kistler, a 63-year-old resident of Golden, Colorado, has been unable to build up a nest egg for himself and his wife with his modest salary at a nonprofit. He has saved little in a 401(k) over the past decade, after spending most of his working life self-employed. That puts him far behind many wealthier Americans approaching retirement.

      …yes, and? Was he enslaved by said non-profit? Shit, for that matter, when did he opt to cease self-employment and work for someone else? Ten years prior? It took me about two years of self-employment before I decided I’d rather be able to pay all my bills on time.

    4. I dont know how much he made, but I guarantee that if he had put 15% into retirement every year of his working life, he would be fine.

      He fucked himself.

      1. The government did that for him.

        (Remember that the government forces the self-employed to pay both halves of the Social Security Ponzi scheme.)

        1. Everyone pays both halves.

          As someone who is self-employed and who has had employees, Im well aware of how it works. And trust me, my employees were paying both halves, they just didnt see it on the paycheck.

          1. Employees also pay the unemployment tax and for their health care coverage.

    5. He has saved little in a 401(k)

      Spotted the problem

    6. “That puts him far behind many wealthier Americans approaching retirement.”

      I would imagine that it puts him behind almost every single wealthier American, by definition.

    7. He can simply live off the smug he built up working for non-profits. Problem…solved.

      1. Seriously. He chose to work there knowing the trade offs of doing so.

        Suck it up and keep working there longer.

    8. Obviously, what is needed is a “retirement wage” – like a “living wage” but turned up to 11.

  25. Egypt plans to dig new Suez Canal costing $4 billion

    Egypt plans to build a new Suez Canal alongside the existing 145-year-old historic waterway in a multi-billion dollar project aimed at expanding trade along the fastest shipping route between Europe and Asia.

    The Suez Canal earns Egypt about $5 billion a year in revenues, a vital source of hard currency for a country that has suffered a slump in tourism and foreign investment since its 2011 uprising.

    The new channel, part of a larger project to expand Suez port and shipping facilities, aims to raise Egypt’s international profile and establish it as a major trade hub.

    1. He said the total estimated cost of drilling the new channel would be about $4 billion and be completed in five years, though Egypt will strive to finish it within a more ambitious three-year deadline.

      Using, um, slaves again, are we?

      1. Corvee labor.

        Use the correct euphemism.

          1. Blarg. It’s all frog-speak anyway.

    2. They should dig it in the opposite direction and call it the Zeus Canal.

      1. You…I mean…that…

        *shakes head and walks away*


          A god, a plan, a canal: Padoga.

      2. Your joke is bad, and you should feel bad.

        1. It’s not a joke. I’m just taking the opportunity to point out to those that don’t know that Suez is Zeus spelled backwards. Like Serutan is natures spelled backwards.

          1. And Dog is God spelled backwards.

            1. I’m not familiar with any Dog Canals.

  26. Grand Canyon investigating squirrel-kicking video

    Authorities are looking into a viral Internet video that shows a man kicking a squirrel off what appears to be the edge of the Grand Canyon.

    Park spokeswoman Kirby-Lynn Shedlowski said Monday that chances of finding the man are slim.

    She couldn’t say whether the video was a hoax. But she says geographical features in it match part of the Grand Canyon. She says authorities have reached out to YouTube seeking more information.

    1. Gotta keep them out of the servers somehow.

    2. It’s a fucking squirrel. This really requires an investigation?

    3. “Grand Canyon investigating…”

      Heck the big news is that the “Grand Canyon” has achieved sentience.

    4. “Help us YouTube. You’re our only hope”.

    5. Park spokeswoman Kirby-Lynn Shedlowski said Monday that chances of finding the man [who kicked a squirrel off a cliff] are slim.

      Yes another crime that will go unpunished…

      … uh, wait. A squirrel? Really?

      1. Let us not forget, Dude, that uh, kicking an arborious…mammal…off the Grand Canyon…that ain’t legal either.

        1. What are you, a fucking park ranger now?

        2. That squirrel is a bear. Which makes this not a crime, but an atrocity…

    6. I hope they have the tiny little instruments they need to operate on it.

    1. They’re both pretty good barbecued

    2. Screw the Quebeckers.

  27. I kind of want to rant about how shitty Comcast is. Hooray for (almost) monopolies!

    1. I hate those assholes.

      I am in theory locked in for two years on a low price for tv and internet, and yet my bill is always slightly different every month.

      1. I don’t have a contract, which is one of the few nice things about it. But they are making it incredibly difficult just to switch my automatic payments to my new credit card. Their website and automated phone system are both useless.

        1. Talking to an actual person, of course, is an option that will require a $5 fee.

          1. Maybe they’ll wave the fee if you sign up for phone service!

          2. The joys of unionized customer service.

      2. yet my bill is always slightly different every month

        Maybe because of taxes? One thing I like about the Verizon bill is it has one section, plainly separated from the rest, that says in bold, Government Taxes & Fees. As opposed to the old landline bills which just included taxes and hid them with weird descriptions like “Interstate Access Fee”. It’s like they’re saying “sorry guys, nothing we can do about this shit”. Imagine if every transaction showed the deadweight loss to consumers caused by government.

        1. Ooooooooooh.

          Advertise your gasoline at the price minus taxes, and as “plus tax”. Make people run their cards twice for it, so there’s a clear charge for the “tax” part. I like it.

    2. Where I used to live, city politicians congratulated themselves for denying RCN a franchise to compete with Comcast. Later, the sheeple asked why the city council wasn’t taking a more protactive role in combating Comcast’s monopoly. No, really.

      1. City council politics are the most depressing, disheartening example of what local politics actually looks like. This is why I’m such a proponent of libertarianism at the local level. I mean, I know for a damn fact that the 5% of the people who pretended to give a shit about local politics one day three years ago aren’t going to pay attention to anything these fuckers are doing between elections, so it’s not like accountability is going to prevent abuse of questionable laws.

        1. I’m on our ZBA in my town and I vote to approve everything. The other board members hate me.

          1. Zoning is an abomination in of itself.

            1. Zoning drives me fucking crazy. In part at least because they feel perfectly justified in redefining terms.

              I had a Suburban that got plowed into from the rear by a drunk. I took the back glass out, hammered it straight, made a new bumper, and kept driving it.

              I got harassed by the zoning enforcers for having an inoperable vehicle. Because a vehicle that is missing glass is defined as “inoperable”, despite the fact that it was registered, and I drove it to work every day. And the state motor vehicle code says nothing about side glass.

              So I cut out the parts of the body where the glass would have gone, and then it was magically not an “inoperative vehicle” any more.

              This sort of stupidity has actually worked in my favor before, though. Since I felt compelled to read the zoning code after this nonsense, I discovered that you are allowed to have inoperable vehicles on your property, but only inside of a garage. But the zoning code defines being under a carport as “inside of a garage”, despite the fact that carports have no walls. So, I got a harassment letter from zoning about another project I had in the driveway (under the carport!) and called back to point out that it was under a carport, and therefore “inside a garage” according to the zoning rules. “Sir, I don’t make the zoning rules, I just comply with the stupid things.” The zoning enforcement drone was rather nonplussed that I’d used that line on him, but agreed that I was correct.

        2. having been focused on local for the past 15 years I can guarantee that almost ALL of the violations of your rights occur at the most local level. I am subject to 7 local governments, and I am one of the lucky ones. Most are subject to 10 or more.

  28. Could someone read that Gaza article for me? For reasons beyond my ken, the cutting-edge web designers at the AP decided on Palatino Fucking Linotype as a good body font. Apparently people were complaining about being able to read a full article without getting a splitting headache or something.

    1. Oh, but I didn’t miss this gem, emphasis mine:

      The war broke out on July 8 when Israel launched airstrikes it said were in response to weeks of heavy rocket fire out of Hamas-controlled Gaza. It expanded the operation on July 17 by sending in ground forces in what it described as a mission to destroy a network of tunnels used to stage attacks.”

      Seriously? Yeah, and WW2 broke out when American naval forces launched a vicious attack against Japan following some thing happening in Hawaii or something.

      1. I remember WW2 as the war of American aggression too.

        1. The aggression came in not surrendering immediately.

      2. Takes two to have a war, no?

  29. The Union Street Guest House … charges couples who book weddings at the venue $500 for every bad review posted online by their guests.

    If you take down the nasty review, you’ll get your money back.

    That’s the *Union Street Guest House* — Ask for it by name!

    1. I understand they’ve got a bunch of bad reviews anyway.

    2. They’re run by Yelp?

    3. They got a lot of heat for this and have since retracted it. Really awfully stupid plan.

      1. I mean, they had to have been aware of the Internet, right? Who thought this would be a good idea?

      2. If they were in Europe, they’d be able to make everybody forget about it.

  30. Representatives from dozens of big U.S. corporations are in D.C. today to announce and discuss business investments in Africa and push for changes to U.S.-Africa trade deals.

    I wish we could string up these traitors. A true economic patriot would give their money to the federal government to fix our crumbling infrastructure.

    1. A true economic patriot would bomb the infrastructure, for the stimulus value.

      1. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen Ted and Paul Krugman together………

    2. They should also do their part to provide more jobs here for Americans. Central Americans, that is.

  31. “McDaniel clearly won the runoff by 25,000 votes,” his attorney said Monday.

    “I brought them all from the dead myself, so I should know!”

    Representatives from dozens of big U.S. corporations are in D.C. today to announce and discuss business investments in Africa and push for changes to U.S.-Africa trade deals.

    You can bet your sweet ass that the Left will criticize investment in Africa by big corporations by calling it “Neo-colonialism”.

    Technology to start experimenting with artificial wombs exists, but legal and ethical qualms could keep human trials in the distant future.

    Ha! Legal and ethical qualms! Psha! I want one to start raising my army of atomic supermen!

  32. Book: Obama ignored gun lobby’s bid to help rid illegal guns after Newtown

    Choosing politics over policy, the Obama administration ignored a willingness by the gun lobby to help in the fight against illegal guns and gun violence following the 2012 Newtown, Conn., school shooting, likely missing any chance of a historic deal, according to a new book about the nation’s war over the weapons.

    In “The Future of the Gun,” New York Times bestselling author Frank Miniter reveals that two of the country’s leading gun lobbies stood ready to work with the White House, but instead were pushed away by an administration that wrongly thought the country was on their side in banning assault weapons.


  33. This is some shocking news here:

    Almost No Teachers In District’s Low-Performing Schools Considered ‘Ineffective’

    In 2,382 teacher evaluations from 2011-12 to 2013-14, the district found only two teachers to be ineffective. The percentage of top-rated “highly effective” teachers has increased from 0 percent to 41.4 percent to 53.3 percent over the same period.

    Lansing School District Spokesman Bob Kolt and Superintendent Yvonne Caamul Canul did not respond to requests for comment.

    1. Did their records keeper retire from the VA and pick up this job to supplement their pension?

    2. Maybe its the students who are ineffective?

      1. Everybody knows that the solution is to spend more money, especially on teacher salaries. If only they paid their effective teachers more, they would be effective.

  34. Go ahead, load up the nutrition label with so much lard that it needs its own executive summary and either requires a magnifying glass to read or eliminates all small packages.

    1. Also, could they just tell you how many calories are in the ENTIRE package, rather than some tiny damn serving size to which no one adheres?

  35. Here’s Why SpaceX Chose A Texas Site Near The Mexico Border For Its New Launch Site

    “Gov. Rick Perry announced an incentive package totaling more than $15 million Monday to close the deal” to locate the facility close to Brownsville, reported Paul O’Donnell in the Dallas Business Journal.

    But saving money wasn’t the only reason SpaceX and CEO Elon Musk went for the Lone Star State. When it comes to blasting rocket into orbit, location matters.

    The southern tip of Texas ? and the southernmost point in the continental U.S. ? is closer to the Equator than Cape Canaveral in Florida. The closer a launch site is to the Equator, the more the rocket can take advantage of the Earth’s rotation to pick up extra speed to achieve and remain in orbit.

    1. Not for cheap immigrant aerospace engineers?

    2. So… the bribe was unnecessary, right? I’m sure Elon will be refunding that money to the taxpayers any day now.

  36. His Pestilence utters complete bullshit:

    In an interview with The Economist last week the President said when he brings up income inequality, he’s not trying to “stir class resentment” like his political opponents say.

    “Feel free to keep your house in the Hamptons and your corporate jet … I’m not concerned about how you’re living,” he said.

    1. Holy shit! He really said we are free to keep our homes?

      1. The wealthy should be extremely grateful that he is allowing them to keep their property. Yet all he gets is criticism. Ingrates.

      2. If you like your homes, you can keep them.

    2. “Feel free to keep your house in the Hamptons and your corporate jet … I’m not concerned about how you’re living,” he said.”

      Uh, oh…
      That sounds suspiciously like:
      “You can keep your house in the Hamptons…”

  37. (fingers of right hand touching forehead, gazing downward)
    Prediction: Huge increase in the number of homeless! Pity-press will be headlining bogus numbers!

    “New bipartisan legislation co-sponsored by Sen. Dianne Feinstein would expand the definition of homelessness to reflect the education department’s numbers and dramatically expand the number of children who qualify for federal homeless assistance, including supportive housing, food and mental health services.”

    1. You know who else was nearly homeless, penniless, and had to roam the streets working as a starving artist?

        1. If we ever have time travel, I intend to go into a niche practice, where I represent poor artists from the past and get them their just rewards. For a small percentage of the royalties. Less than fifty percent.

          1. You could just let them know they’re loved. Van Gogh seemed to appreciate it

            1. I’ll show him tape of people pleasuring themselves in front of his paintings. You just know it’s out there. See, I saw some of the people viewing Van Goghs at the Art Institute of Chicago, and I think, well, they were really into his art and may have stayed after hours to express their love.

            2. Nu Who at its most ridiculously treacly. Barf.

    2. Look at all these homeless! They appeared overnight!

    3. Are families who live packed in single rooms in residential hotels considered homeless?

      Are families with small homes considered “homeless”? Yes!

      1. Well, it’s not a ‘living home’! You can’t live in the places those people are living!

      2. Anything less than 20 rooms is a hovel. How can we call ourselves Mericans with people living in such squalor.

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