A.M. Links: U.S. Accuses Russia of Violating Nuclear Arms Treaty, Chances of Ebola Reaching U.S. Low, Democrats Cashing In After Suggesting Obama Could Be Impeached

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  • ?????
    White House

    The United States has accused Russia of violating the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty by testing a cruise missile.

  • The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States  are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
  • Democrats are cashing in on speculation fueled by Democrats that House Republicans would try to impeach President Obama, raising $2.1 million last weekend in online donations alone.
  • The attorney general of North Carolina, Democrat Roy Cooper said the state would no longer defend its constitutional ban on recognizing same-sex marriage after a federal court ruled a similar constitutional provision in Virginia federally unconstitutional.
  • The dating site OKCupid announced that like Facebook it too has experimented with its users, arguing that experimenting with users is "how websites work."
  • A group called "Geeks for Consent" is calling for organizers of Comic Con to institute a zero tolerance policy for physical and verbal sexual harassment. 

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  1. The United States has accused Russia of violating the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty by testing a cruise missile.

    Damn. I knew I should have invested in nuclear futures.

    1. Hello.

        1. HYDRA

          1. Hy Drax!

              1. Oreos – duh

                1. From ‘Hello’ comes Oreo.

                  I love you freaks.

                  1. I ran into limited edition ‘Limeaide’ Oreos at the store. They weren’t half bad.

                    1. What unholy scorched earth future do you come from Servant?

                      Also, do they still have Cadbury creme eggs in the after times?

                    2. What unholy scorched earth future do you come from Servant?

                      Also, do they still have Cadbury creme eggs in the after times?

                      I come from New York (State).

                      and

                      Only around Easter.

                    3. Only around Easter.

                      One of my FB friends posted a picture of Creme Eggs filled with “green goo” for sale as Halloween candy. Yesterday. Which is a crime against nature for two reasons.

                    4. That’s what happens if you leave them on the shelf until October, Ham.

                    5. Green eggs and Ham…ilton

                    6. (grumbles while wiping vomit off of desk)

                  2. You may find this amusing, then, Rufus.

                    1. Fuh.

                      Amusing.

                      But.

                      Da fuh?

                    2. An “Oreo” is “Black on the outside; white on the inside.” Michael Steele is a Black Republican.

                2. Hydrox were way better than Oreos.

  2. A group called “Geeks for Consent” is calling for organizers of Comic Con to institute a zero tolerance policy for physical and verbal sexual harassment.

    No chaotic evil. Got it.

      1. Lawful Evil is an interesting band name.

        1. Isn’t that the name of the NYPD Departmental band?

    1. I’m Neutral Evil, is that still allowed?

      1. If you were really neutral evil, you wouldn’t care if it were allowed.

        (glares at UCS in suspicious fashion)

        1. *Calmly shivs BP and keeps walking.*

          *suspicious whistling*

          1. I… retract… my… reservation. (passes out, bleeding profusely.)

    2. That’s going to piss off the Demogorgon worshippers.

      1. Ah, we can just sic the Chromatic Dragon on ’em.

        1. +1 THAc0

    3. What is their definition for verbal sexual harassment?

      Unwanted physical contact is certainly bad, but shouldn’t someone dressing up as some super-sexy version of a comic character expect a bit of attention?

      1. OMG Zeb you are so part of the problem.

        1. I might even go so far as to say that getting that sort of attention is a large part of the motivation for dressing up like that.

          1. The outrage is the payoff.

          2. Its the fat mouth-breathers with visible erections that are the problem. That’s never part of the cosplay fantasy. Its always being noticed by Nathan Fillion or someone like that in their head, and some dude who doesn’t regularly speak to anyone fumbling his way through painfully awkward attempts at conversation IRL.

            1. And that’s the problem with verbal sexual harassment policies. It has too much to do with who is doing the harassing.
              Of course there are clearly inappropriate cases, like a boss constantly making comments or something like that where there is a power relationship. But when the difference between unwanted harassment and flattering attention is based on the “victim’s” preference in men, that’s a bit different.

              1. I would say that repeat comments after it’s been made clear that they’re unwanted are out of bounds regardless of if there’s a power difference. I largely agree with you if we are talking about an initial comment

                1. Yes, well that does seem to be the major difference over the last 25 years. Sure, a guy shouting obscenities at a woman while grabbing his crotch is harassing her. At this point, the line has moved to any unwelcome comments by members of the opposite sex who are not attractive. “You look great in that Harley Quinn costume” is harassing by an unattractive man, but an invitation to flirt from a more attractive man.

                  1. “You look great in that Harley Quinn costume” is harassing by an unattractive man, but an invitation to flirt from a more attractive man.

                    This is how I know you are lying. I’ve been to Dragon Con in Atlanta and I can tell you from experience that there were plenty of opportunities to utter this phrase, but no situations where it would have been the honest truth. Unless you like fatties.

      2. Is there going to be the harassment equivalent of the rape whistle?

        Can we haz a harassment kazoo?

        1. Slide-whistle.

          1. Skin flute?

      3. Let’s just establish a minimum attractiveness standard for types of attention and call it a day.

      4. Aren’t those all hookers?

  3. The dating site OKCupid announced that like Facebook it too has experimented with its users, arguing that experimenting with users is “how websites work.”

    I certainly feel there were times when reason was fucking with us on purpose.

    1. The Squirrelz gather data on us….in furtherance of their dark designs.

      1. Are there any serious artists on here? I request a tshirt with squirrelz driving a tractor, eating deep dish “pizza,” and towing a lion.

        1. Wearing a scale sized version of The Jacket.

        2. This guy will create anything you want (SFW)

        3. Needs moar fetus and rape. Also caps and brackets.

          1. Plus foreskin

            1. That’s why it should be a hoodie…

              /Dickhead

        4. “Protagoronus|7.29.14 @ 10:04AM|#

          Are there any serious artists on here?”

          There ARE No ‘serious artists’, my friend

    2. That would explain away certain commenters as either researchers under pseudonym or the victims/outcomes of these cruel experiments.

      1. It’s just a massive Turing test experiment.

        1. I always fail the turing test.

          1. RishMoJoJo jsut isn’t gonna liek this!

          2. That’s exactly what a poorly designed computer/AI would say.

            1. [System Error – Algorthmic reply subsystem timeout]…

              +10 ms.

        2. I always figures it was an NSA honeypot

    3. BWAHAHAHAA!!

      /squirrels

    4. That is an outrage. NSA spying is just one of those things (except insofar as we can pin it on Bush, in which case it’s an outrage, too).

  4. Democrats are cashing in on speculation fueled by Democrats that House Republicans would try to impeach President Obama, raising $2.1 million last weekend in online donations alone.

    Because Democrats might vote to impeach if they didn’t get enough contributions?

    1. They buy votes all the time, constituents, legislators, dead people.

    2. I like that….kind of the televangelist who said God was going to come and take him if he didn’t get $X by ____.

      1. “They’re right. I DO want your money. Because GOD wants your money.”

    3. They’ve already fallen to turnout strategies because they have no chance at the 7% that vote on something other than party lines.

  5. “Guess what, everybody: If you use the Internet, you’re the subject of hundreds of experiments at any given time, on every site,”

    Where’s “Geeks for Consent” when you truly need them?

    1. Extra points for combining two links into one joke.

      1. Maybe that should be the new requirement for first posts.

        Take the time to combine two or dont start the thread?

        1. There are no rules on the internet.

          1. There’s at least 34 of them…

            1. Once you get past the sex and Nazis, its all pictures of cats.

  6. Democrats are cashing in on speculation fueled by Democrats that House Republicans would try to impeach President Obama, raising $2.1 million last weekend in online donations alone.

    I get totally confused by this, and it is my own dissonance at fault. Why on earth would any sane person actually give money for this cause, by now?

    1. God you’re racist.

    2. any sane person

      Ah. Here’s yer trouble.

      1. Your car is fine sir, the only trouble I can find is with the nut that holds the steering wheel.

    3. dude, it’s Dems soliciting Dems. Sanity not included.

    4. Lots of the Democrat base still like him, some rather enthusiastically. Blacks especially are not keen to see the first black President be the subject of impeachment.

      1. because blacks don’t expect a black president to be held to the same standards? Well, I guess not; that’s been a staple of Dem philosophy for two generations now.

        1. I imagine Catholics would have rallied around Kennedy if there was talk of him being impeached. It’s a pretty human thing for groups that have been systematically shut out of important positions to feel quite involved when one of their members finally breaks through.

          1. Everybody except libertarians, who revel in minor philosophical differences.

            1. Well, when people attack high profile libertarians we tend to circle the wagons a bit too.

              Of course then when its just us we splinter and criticize the fellow.

              1. You werent around, but the reason staff didnt circle the wagon around Ron Paul.

              2. “Well, when people attack high profile libertarians”

                Is this a theory on your part, cause I’m looking around for the “high profile libertarians”?

                At best, maybe mid profile.

          2. Progressive thought in two words: “I imagine”.

            1. Give me is a more accurate summary.

        2. You don’t have to be a black Dem to be this tribal. Even at his most unpopular, Bush the Lesser was still getting ~30% favorable ratings.

          Go, Team, go!

    5. Hamilton, I got into it with my sister’s boyfriend over his fucking apologist nonsense over Hamas and Obama. I don’t know what got over me but I lashed out and rifled out some ‘for your consideration’ facts only to be met with laughs. That’s what really pissed and set me off – in front of my family. To him, Obama and Trudeau are the best thing since sliced bread.

      He’s pushing 50.

      1. I’m surprised he likes Obama, considering that Obama is American. 😉

      2. He’s pushing 50.

        Just smile, nod and change the subject. He’s beyond help.

        Life’s too short to waste on morons.

        1. Or go far beyond that. Spout communist rhetoric and insult him for being too much of a pansy to really fight for the lower classes.

          1. I stared him down and said things like ‘you’re going to seriously sit there with a straight face and say that?”

            Even my apolitical wife had to offer her opinion about Trudeau being a gaffe-goof ball.

      3. Just call him an Joooo hating anti-semite.

        Bo’s demonstrated that is the real motivation of Pali sympathy.

        1. Work it, Rev. Al!

          Tell us about Tawana some more!

  7. House Republicans would try to impeach President Obama

    The D’s wish this would happen. It won’t. But damn they are craven and cynical.

    1. Of course they do. It would be a perfect misdirection of attention. They look back at the impeachment of Clinton as the event that cemented his future good reputation and planted the “obstructionist Republicans” idea in the public consciousness.

      1. Let alone, the old racist canard could be trotted out for the trillionth time that week.

    2. It reminds me of the scaremongering about the draft in the early 2000s

      1. Hey, I still remember when electing Reagan GUARANTEED we were all gonna die in a nuke fight with the Rooskies.

        GUAR. AN. TEED.

        1. Hey, don’t forget Daisy Girl!

          1. That video was pure awesome. But I still would have voted for Goldwater.

          1. Does Putin have kids?

        2. Yup. I remember libs blathering about how Reagan was okay with the American family farm being run out of business because who needs food when you’re gonna start a nuclear war? Hurr, durr.

  8. Democrats are cashing in on speculation fueled by Democrats that House Republicans would try to impeach President Obama…

    The specter of Palin continues to be a funding source for Democrats well past its shelf life.

    1. Th obsession with Palin truly befuddles me. She is such a nothing at this point – but my Proggie friends (esp teh Feeemayles) just HATE her. Any mention of her name is like Bill Murray as Hunter Thompson saying, “NIXON!” to his dog in “Where The Buffalo Roam”. Same reaction.

      1. They’re just getting their fix of two minute hate

      2. They’re threatened by any woman who doesn’t think the proper (ie. proggie) way. Such women aren’t “real” women.

        1. The women I know who dislike her who are not rabid partisans think she reflects bad on professional women.

          1. Was she ever claim to be a professional woman?

            She was an entrepreneur, then a stay at home mom that got into politics. You know the kind of normal person that everyone claims they want to replace professional pols.

            1. A governor is not a professional?

              Derp.

              1. No.

                A governor is a politician. A governor can come from any walk of life. It is an office, not a profession.

                Palin was not a ‘professional’ when she entered politics.

        2. The first woman Prez MUST be a donkey. Hence outrage at attempts to steal their sanctimony.

      3. It’s even worse with Limbaugh. The guy’s an ass, but he’s an ass that’s never held or ran for office, doesn’t hold an official position in the GOP, and as far as I know isn’t even a delegate in his home state. He’s never even worked in an administration.

  9. The dating site OKCupid announced that like Facebook it too has experimented with its users, arguing that experimenting with users is “how websites work.”

    I knew that bisexual nympho gamer redhead studying neuroscience couldn’t be real.

    1. I thought that bisexual nympho redhead was you.

      1. I’m pretty much as straight as it is possible to be. Also I have never taken a single class in neuroscience.

        I do hit the other three items, though some people might argue the redhead and gamer parts are borderline.

        1. Which vaguely reminds me:

          hamilton, I tried that geometry game you linked a while ago. Pretty fun. I wish it had more levels.

          1. I got stuck on constructing the mutual tangents of two circles. BTW someone ought to ping Tarran so we can finalize the Epic Boston-area-Hampersnad-meetup.

            1. That one took me a while. I came up with a ton of things that looked tangent to both, but weren’t quite.

              No one responded to my last email describing the scheduling conflicts, did they?

              1. There was only 1 or 2 levels after that one, btw.

            2. mutual tangents

              Great band name.

        2. Actually, I was trying to joke that you were going to an online dating site claiming to be a bisexual nympho redhead when you really aren’t.

          On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog and all that.

  10. A group called “Geeks for Consent” is calling for organizers of Comic Con to institute a zero tolerance policy for physical and verbal sexual harassment

    Pack it up, folks, that party is over.

    1. Isn’t the possible opportunity to receive “physical and verbal sexual harassment” the major draw to attending ComicCon?

      /”Geeks for Getting Some”

    2. Pack it up, folks, that party is over.

      Fat girl cosplay is right behind that one.

      1. Nah, it’s cute girl cosplay that’s behind this.

        The recent Potter/Twilight/TrueBlood/Anime fueled waves of quasi-goth chicks that have entered fandom are shocked and dismayed to discover that the reason there are so many cute sexy costumes to wear is because of the preponderance of maladjusted male geeks who really get off on that kinda thing–and will buy it as often as they can in comic, film, and action figure form.

        To suddenly have girls wandering through cons who aren’t paid booth babes who look good is simply blowing their minds.

        And their clumsy comeons are making the girls sick–so it must be harassment, right?

  11. The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

    It’s much more likely the CDC will unwittingly unleash it here itself.

    1. Naw, they’re more likely to unleash Hantavirus here.

    2. Nah, it’ll be some damned terror they cooked up in a lab, 100x worse than Ebola.

      “I left it right here in the fridge, right next to Bill’s Diet Coke!”

      1. “Ebola Cola: The Infection That Refreshes”

        1. “Everything goes with Ebola Cola!”

            1. Nice. I want this for my birthday

        2. Does it clean toilet bowls like other colas?

        3. Does it clean toilet bowls like other colas?

          1. Yes, if you consider something drenched in blood to be clean.

              1. Blood sausage FTW!

                Although real cooks use fresh blood. The anti-coagulants in the blood bags really throw the flavor off.

              2. One chef unlikely to embrace their recommendation is Nick Nairn, who vomited on his own television show after watching a Hebridean crofter stir up blood to make black pudding.

                I daresay even SF would draw the line at substituting *vomit* for egg whites.

                1. Maybe if it was artisanal vomit…

    3. *** searches anxiously for hand sanitizer ***

    4. Famous. Last. Words.

      Looks like “The Stand” is about to go down.

      1. Or that horrible movie Outbreak.

        1. I prefer a world where I get to move to Boulder (or Vegas) to fight for (or kill) humanity’s soul. If I wanted to see Hoffman ham it up as the world descended into hell, I’d just watch my vhs copy of Hook while sitting in a busy intersection in Newark, NJ.

        2. Did they ever find that monkey?

      2. As soon as Obama assures us he’s got a plan to keep Ebola from crossing the border it’s time to run like hell.

        1. Yep. And I suppose any ideas for speeding up the TSA lines are toast.

          1. Yeah, just try getting a slice of toast through security.

    5. I’m surprised they didn’t try to raise the panic flag to get more money and control.

  12. 1 in 3 U.S. adults have ‘debt in collections’

    “Mission accomplished!”
    – central bank clowns

    1. Keep people in debt to make them beholden to the government.

      1. It also makes those beholden less likely to move, change jobs, start a business that could one day rival some large corporations, do anything creative, or simply, do hookers and blow. I don’t know what these banking asswipes have a against the average man partaking in hookers and blow, but it’s got to be nefarious to say the least.

        1. If the little people hot hookers and blow, it would drive prices up for the current consumers.(bankers and politicians)

          1. If they don’t want little people to have hookers and blow they should just put them on a high shelf

            1. heh

              +1 shelving unit

    2. The debt in collections ranged from as little as $25 to a whopping $125,000. But the average amount owed was $5,200.

      I’m in collections over an $80 fine the NY state tax dept believes I owe them that they will never, ever see. My situation is the most common one (from the report: “The median amount is substantially lower at $651”): a small amount that the debtor either doesn’t know about or is disputing.

      1. Debt collection is mostly a complete scam that should be legal curtailed.

        The truth is that all small debts in collection have inadequate evidence trails to win a judgement in small claims court. It’s legalized extortion via threats to ruin your reputation.

        1. Yeah, no one should ever have to pay their debts. Contract law is such a scam.

        2. In reality the power that collections agencies actually have is quite limited, and they’re subject to some pretty stiff penalties if they go outside the lines.

          The problem, basically, is that consumers don’t actually know that a lot of the more outrageous practices of collections agencies are against the law.

    3. Eh. I’m about to be there because my dentist and dental insurance can’t get on the same page. I’m not paying them $150 for a covered visit. I’ll get a new dentist and let that shit sit in collections. If they didn’t charge me the “right amount” for the visit, that isn’t my problem. As far as I’m concerned, payment was in full at the time service was rendered.

      1. I have several of those “victories”. I don’t give a shit. My house is paid off and I don’t need credit.

        My favorite was a bill for lab work done for my life insurance physical. I didn’t agree to any of it, and they should not have billed me. I would periodically send the collections company checks for $.01. They stopped calling.

        1. “I would periodically send the collections company checks for $.01. They stopped calling.”

          *stands to applaud*

        2. Ooh. Nice.

        3. My personal favorite was telling Sprint I would never give them another dollar. I actually paid the collections guys over the phone the minute they called me. That’s how angry I was with Sprint. Fuck whether or not I keep the money, I’d rather give it to these bottom feeders than Sprint.

  13. …after a federal court ruled a similar constitutional provision in Virginia federally unconstitutional.

    See, Democrats? Some times the United States Constitution is worth considering.

      1. “Unbearable, yea, basically,” said the teen who suffered second-degree burns. “Literally after it got put out it was already blistering, it’s just hard.”

        “Well, time to light some farts!”

    1. He is not nearly hirsute enough for that to be interesting. I’d go up like flash paper.

    2. Ok, all these clowns fail the Turing test as well. And the Darwin test. Alright everybody, outta the gene pool!

  14. Which is worse:

    A 551-pound man wanted his house arrest sentence to be reduced because he is too heavy to leave his home anyway

    or

    his sentence is for supplying more than 1 million oxycodone and other prescription pills to “pain management” clinics run by Christopher and Jeffrey George Wellington

    or

    the writer doesn’t know the difference between “respectfully” and “respectively”

    http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2014…..eave-home/

    1. I’ll take C. Being paid to write poorly is a most egregious sin. I have to wonder what kind of business the fat man was doing if he couldn’t leave his home. Did he have minions?

      1. I suspect the writer probably learnt to rite at a public scoool. You know, the places that now teach such award-winning feel-goody courses like pop science/business hatred, propaganda 101, math is hard and you should hate it, and fuck exercising because you’ll probably just get made fun for wearing the wrong colored shirt anyway. I’m actually surprised the guy knows how to spell his name…allegedly.

        1. My byline was once misspelled in my newspaper. True story.

          1. It’s cool Nothing. I botch up my writing constantly due to the potent cocktail of Quaaludes, BBQ Sauce, and Delicious Chelada burning through my system. Pobody’s Nerfect.

            1. I had a vivid dream a few months back where I had quit my job and taken out a bunch of debt to flee to Australia and open a bar called “Pobody’s Nerfect”. I told people I was Pobody and had a pretty good time.

              1. Were you on ‘Ludes waffly?

                1. Melatonin, St. John’s Wort, and Valerian Root. I need to be well rested and have abstained from alcohol and cannabis. YMMV.

          2. “Darrin Stephens”?

              1. Just as long as it wasn’t Fake Darrin.

            1. +1 Uncle Arthur

          3. I hope the editor responsible still buys you drinks whenever you’re in the same bar.

    2. So he couldn’t leave his home, but was able to provide a million pills to doctors?

      1. My fat uncle’s cousin’s father made $87,493,567 working on the internet and bought a Lexus

        1. HAHA! What a dumbass! All the cool bots are driving Audis!

    3. This is the worst part:

      “Goodman has only left his home three times since his sentencing; which was for his visits to the hospital, religious ceremonies, and his wedding.”

      What-in-holy-fuck?

      1. Some wives wonder where their husbands are, his knows exactly where he is at all times.

      2. I figure a million pain pills at a discount is still about a million bucks.

  15. politically speaking, impeachment makes little sense. Seems Obama would have far greater value to the Repubs left in place, twisting and flailing.

    1. Practically, removing only Obama from office would solve no pproblems for anyone except maybe the Democrats.

    2. Therefore, the Stupid Party will proceed to lose the Senate.

  16. The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

    Pretty much a certainty, then.

  17. So how’s the weather for everyone out there on this fine late July “global warming” Tuesday?

    1. Enjoying mid 50s every morning on the way to work.

      1. It is the nicest, driest, coolest, most comfortable July day I’ve seen since moving to NJ 20 years ago. Thank you global cooling.

        As I walked out this morning, I was wondering if there was somewhere not California like this all the time.

        1. Thank you global cooling.

          It’s The Pause!!! THE PAUSE!!11!1!

        2. Where is Viking Moose? I bet he knows a place.

    2. This “Tuesday” is pretty nice and chilly. The cooler hair sharpens my senses and makes me feel alert, peppy even. And I stooped doing amphetamines years ago.

      1. “The cooler hair?”

        Is that the side you feather and put purple dye in?

        1. I picked the wrong decade to stop doing amphetamines.

          1. “She stoops to conquer.”

    3. Also mid 50s to high of 75 here. Not bad. I think I will wear boots this afternoon.

      1. Go on…

    4. We’ve had a mild summer here in North Texas, too.

      That’s why they call it “global climate change”. The warming trend might not go on forever, but interdecadal change was inevitable.

      1. interdecadal = decadal

      2. “Mild” for North Texas meaning highs of 100 instead of 120. :-p

        1. Actually, only one or two 100+ days so far … very unusual.

    5. 60s in the morning. High 70s in the afternoon. I think I’ll go for a short hike this afternoon.

    6. Low 90s here in north Florida, with about 250 percent humidity, I think.

    7. Fucking awesome. That is all.

    8. This is the second week its been appropriately hot in my part of the world. I guess the El Nino is dead.

  18. “Do you promise to stick your tongue wherever she asks?”

    Juggalo wedding!

    1. Whoop! Whoop!

      *** showers happy couple with Faygo ***

    2. I really like this sentence.

      A lesbian couple holds hands as Dark Lotus raps about how they “they built the Pyramids while bumpin’ this shit.”

    3. Juggalos for consent!

    4. “Fucking RECOGNITION, How does it work?”

    5. “Gang” wedding? Surprising no one droned them.

      1. Their skin wasn’t brown enough.

        1. How could you tell with all the black and white makeup on everyone?

  19. Being the 30 day anniversary of the launch of Shadowboy, I’m now allowed to start promotional deals.

    Some time today, Shadowboy will start selling for $0.99 .

    /end shameless self-promotion.

    1. Done.

      It better not suck. 😉

  20. 1 in 3 U.S. adults have ‘debt in collections’

    EASY MONEY!

    What could possibly go wrong?

    1. ‘debt in collections’

      OK, I’ll bite. What is that?

      Assuming of course, ‘collections’ is not a typo for ‘spades’.

      1. It’s been sold to debt collectors and they’re getting harassed and/or threatened for repayment.

        1. Thanks, UCS! (I did stumble onto TFA.)

      2. The original creditor has sold the debt to debt collectors.

  21. Newest anti-vaxx trend causes babies’ brains to bleed

    Parents are now denying newborns important Vitamin K injections to avoid unnecessary “toxins”

    1. If the babies live to adulthood, they should sue the pants off their parents.

    2. Not that I’m on the anti-vaxx crazy train, but what did people do before these Vitamin K injections were available? Were brain-bleeding babies chucked into the street with the starving elderly and mentally ill?

      1. Well, I do recall that historical infant mortality rates were rather high. The causes were probably not from one singular item, but each thing that modern medicine can do to reduce that does help.

        1. This is literally the first time I have ever.heard of injecting babies with Vitamin K OR “brain bleeding” in babies.

          1. Yeah, that was my reaction.

          2. They do it immediately at birth. The baby doesn’t give a damn (at least my daughter didn’t) because she was just born and she’s super quiet and alert.

          3. Well, I did know about Vitamin K shots, but the bleeding brain, nope… that’s a first for me.

      2. It’s not that it’s horribly common, but that there’s a simple, harmless way to avoid it happening at all, and these idiots read something on the internet and decide that they’re going to skip it and risk their child’s health.

    3. If the medical establishment would recognize and talk about actual risks with vaccines more openly, people wouldn’t be so prone to adopting idiotic practices based on internet rumors. As it is, there appears to be a stone wall of silence among most pediatricians concerning over-medication and other risk factors, including genetic susceptibilities to immune system problems brought on by certain vaccines.

      1. Stone wall of silence? Every time my daughter got vaccinations we got a paper showing just what the risks were, and the chances of them happening.

        1. Primarily short term effects if they were anything like the ones we have been given. Oh, you might have a reaction or feel flu-like for a few days. Take some Tylenol or come back to the hospital. Nothing about long-term problems usually.

          My son had a massive systemic yeast infection for years brought on by the Hep B vaccine administered when he was an infant (cultured in yeast instead of eggs). It took multiple doctors before we found one who even considered testing for it. When we brought the info back to our regular pediatricians, it was met with mostly indifference. (And just try to get exempted from the Hep B vaccine in the maternity ward, they’ll treat you like a nut.)

          Additionally, he carries a genetic disorder (present in 10% of Europeans) that prevents him from excreting metals properly. As such, he had aluminum poisoning from vaccine treatments (aluminum replaced thimerosal in children’s vaccines). Again, there seem to be only a select few doctors who recognize this risk.

          1. Got it, you’re one of “those”.

            1. And what is one of “those”?

              If you mean someone who spent thousands of dollars on lab work to determine exactly what was wrong with my child and then took appropriate action to remedy it, then yes, I am one of “those”

              If you mean someone who believes everything they read on the internet, then no I’m not.

              If you want to discuss the points I’m making, I’m completely open to it. I was pro-vaccine prior to this experience, and still have my children vaccinated for specific diseases where the risk is offset by the benefits. I will not, however, have them vaccinated for chickenpox or the flu. Nor will I allow them to receive the second dose of MMR vaccine, simply because it’s a blanket treatment designed to catch the 5% of people who don’t develop immunity form the first shot.

              If you’re just going to throw ad hominems, then screw off.

      2. Insurance should exclude any treatment for a disease or condition that the parent’s refused the vaccination or other EZ preventable treatment for. Assumption of the risk, baby.

        1. Should insurance assume the risk for any disease brought on by treatment for something else?

          Are you providing legal advice to the insurance companies? Because last time I checked, what my insurance pays for and doesn’t is between me and them and defined by our contract (ACA notwithstanding).

  22. Not to stun anyone, but . . .

    Missouri police who fatally stunned a mentally ill man with a Taser can’t be sued over his death, a federal appeals court ruled.

    http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2014/…..urt-rules/

    1. “Three generations of imbeciles are enough”

    2. STOP RESISTING!!!111!!!

      1. It’s a taser, I can’t become perfectly conductive, so there will always be some resistance!

    3. This tragedy could have been prevented if he had only followed the suggestions in this helpful handout by the DHS.

      Stop, Drop, and Cower

      1. Nicely done.

      2. That is a masterpiece. Did you create this?

    4. Goes to prove that you should only call the police if you are willing to have someone die.

  23. New York bar forced to remove ‘no Irish drunks’ sign after outrage from customers

    The Dock Bar & Grill in Montauk had a sign displayed in the window with a banned list which included ‘Irish drunks’ along with strollers and cell phones
    The owner George Watson replaced the sign with ‘No Sensitive Drunks’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..klash.html

    1. The owner George Watson replaced the sign with ‘No Sensitive Drunks’

      Nicely done.

      1. Let the lawsuits begin.

    2. Next up: Montauk bans “Hippies Use Side Door —-” and “Beware Pickpockets and Loose Women” signs following outrage from local Green and Roma activists.

      1. I went to some chili place in Austin that had a sign reading “Hippies use backdoor only”. I couldn’t stop laughing, my wife just shook her head.

    3. The article seems unclear on how he was “forced”…. Was it by public reaction, or by the government?

      Either way, he’s kind of a prick, but that was a funny retort.

  24. Mother ‘left her two young children unattended in car while she performed a sex act on her boyfriend in the parking lot’

    Princess Marks, 25, caught in a vehicle in Lake Charles, Louisiana
    Her children, aged 5 and 7, were found in SUV with windows left down
    Marks charged with child desertion and later released on a $5,000 bond
    Follows arrest of a couple who left their children in 104 degree car

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..g-lot.html

    1. Well they couldn’t wait until they got home – it was a medical emergency!

      1. That man seems to have suffered a rather serious snake bite.

    2. “Child desertion”? Shouldn’t that be for people who don’t mean to return to them?

      1. Mmmmm…..child desserts.

        -Homer

      2. Yeah, they were just child awol.

      3. If child deserts are anything like food deserts, I bet there are a lot of people who would like those child deserts.

    3. This must have been a fun line to write:

      “Officers say Marks admitted she had been unable to see the children, aged seven and five, or her SUV from her boyfriend’s vehicle.”

      1. I’ guessing that she wasn’t his “girlfriend” girlfriend but one of those rentals who will be your girlfriend for about 15 minutes for $20 the everyday low price of $19.88.

      2. I’m guessing that she wasn’t his “girlfriend” girlfriend but one of those rentals who will be your girlfriend for about 15 minutes for $20 the everyday low price of $19.88.

    4. Who even wants to fuck when it’s that hot?

      1. “Here’s something you’ll never hear a guy say: ‘Stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police!'”
        -George Carlin

      2. That’s why we have AC.

      3. This is why Nicole is the worst: she won’t give blowjobs if the temperature passes a certain point.

    5. I can’t wait for the first prosecution of parents who “abandoned” their children by locking them out of the master bedroom on a Saturday morning, resulting in a kid injuring himself.

      1. It will be our version of China’s “one-child” policy.

    6. Shit. That’s where I’m from. There was actually another one in a neighboring town that left her kids in the car while she went shopping. Internal temperature was 130 degrees. I fucking went to school with the girl.

    7. Princess Marks

      But doesn’t she have royal immunity?

  25. Smaug’s revenge, a town on fire AND the evil Eye Of Sauron: First look at dramatic trailer for The Hobbit: Battle Of The Five Armies

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..auron.html
    So far the first two barely resemble the book. It will be interesting to see how the third installment comes out.

    1. I don’t think the book was bathed in teal and orange, was it?

      1. Someone did spill Tang on the library copy…

        1. That wasn’t Tang….

    2. 10 bucks Optimus Prime shows up with Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Captain ‘Murica, Batman, James Bond, Wolverine, and Han solo riding on the Millennium Falcon to save the day.

      1. “10 bucks Optimus Prime shows up ”

        I read that as Optimus Prius the first time, which is rather funny in itself.

        1. He shows up in ‘Transformers 5: Johnny 5’s Alive’.

        2. “Optimus Prius”

          Worst. Autobot. Ever.

          1. No way: he’s silent, toxic, and Japanese – like a ninja!

    3. I just re-read the book after seeing the movies to compare, as it had been a long time since I read it. The first two get most of the plot OK, but with a lot of extra stuff added to pad it out to 3 3 hour movies. Looks like they are getting ready to make some pretty big plot changes for the last one, though.

      1. I understood most of the padding came from other Tolkien works?

        1. Some of it. Like Sauron being driven from Dol Guldur. But most was just Peter Jackson.

        2. Some did come from the appendices of LOTR and a bit from the Silmarillion, some was just made up.

          I can see the point of some of it. They wanted to make it more of a prelude to LOTR than The Hobbit was originally, as it was written before the plot of the latter was fully conceived. But as in the LOTR movies, a lot of what was added or changed seems stupid or pointless.

          1. Like Tauriel. Wtf? Completely pointless. Legolas I can understand because of Thranduil and all, but Tauriel?

          2. Seriously, I have ranted impotently on the internet about this before but every time it comes up I feel obliged.

            On the LOTR DVDs the screenwriter bitch stated that Tolkien didn’t understand drama. She is some fucking 20 something college educated moron. This is why Faramir was “tempted” by the ring in the movie and takes Frodo to Osgilliath…COMPLETE BUILLSHIT!

            I aint no art critic but A. Tolkien has sold more books that her and B. Boromir and Faramir represent the weakness and strength of mankind…this is not that deep people!!!!

            GWAAHAHAHH!H!HH!H!!!!111

            /taking deep breath.

            1. It’s almost as if dramatic and literary writing are different.

              After seeing the first Hobbit movie, I’ll still probably watch the other two. But I’m sure as hell not going to pay for it anymore than I’m already paying for cable.

              1. I paid $1.29 at Red Box. It was worth $1.29. But not a penny more.

  26. Man, 34, is arrested for kidnapping Abigail Hernandez as 15-year- old’s mother says she was NOT pregnant and didn’t run away

    Abigail Hernandez, 15, mysteriously returned to her North Conway, New Hampshire home last week, after disappearing in October
    On Monday, 34-year-old Nathaniel Kibby was arrested for her kidnapping
    According to a press release, Kibby confined Abigail on last year ‘with purpose to commit an offense against her’
    He is set to be arraigned in Conway District Court on Tuesday

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..gnant.html
    That guy scores an eleven on the creepiness scale.

    1. That guy scores an eleven on the creepiness scale.

      “Gaze into my eyes, one at a time ….”

      1. That man has stared into the Abyss and huffed glue with it.

        1. Pics, or ….

          1. Do you really want me to risk snapping pictures of New York crazies?

            1. I assumed it would just be a selfie

    2. Was he screaming something about there only being one?

      http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net…..Kurgan.jpg

  27. Pagan says he is victim of religious discrimination in Arkansas

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07……html?_r=0

    1. The municipality has no business regulating what he does with his property in any fashion.

      Next.

    2. Sentry: Do you want the padre?
      Harry Morant: No, thank you. I’m a pagan.
      Sentry: And you?
      Peter Handcock: What’s a pagan?
      Harry Morant: Well… it’s somebody who doesn’t believe there’s a divine being dispensing justice to mankind.
      Peter Handcock: I’m a pagan, too.
      Harry Morant: There is an epitaph I’d like: Matthew 10:36. Well, Peter… this is what comes of ’empire building.’
      Major Thomas: Matthew 10:36?
      Minister: “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.”

  28. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07……html?_r=1

    Newark’s PD has gone off the rails.

    Money quote FTA: Chief Campos said it was unclear if officers who took part in the unconstitutional behavior cited in the Justice Department report would face consequences.

    1. Is there anyone in Newark after sundown other than black people?

      I used to work there and got the hell out as the sun was setting.

  29. Days after calling for legalization NYT defends its policy of drug testing employees

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/mon…..tests.html

    1. To be fair, in libertopia it would be an employer’s prerogative to test its employees for drugs despite their being legal. So I don’t think that’s inherently a hypocritical stance in a vacuum, but then NYT isn’t exactly advocating for libertopia.

    2. What, shouldn’t an employer be able to set terms on what drugs they allow their employees to use?

      Are you inferring that companies that do not drug test are default in favor of legalization of all drugs?

      1. Yes.
        No.

      2. What, shouldn’t an employer be able to set terms on what drugs they allow their employees to use?

        “No Visine. If you’re gonna show up red-eyed, we want to know about it.”

      3. If you read the article, the NYT response is impossibly lame.

        1. Meh, I still think it’s their right, and if they fear a pot smoking employee might be a liability to their productivity if he were arrested (and choked out) by NYPD cops and had to miss work them that’s their right.

          Also, anybody they employ that drives a company car, any forklifts, is around machinery like printing presses or is involved with employees that are should be tested to limit the company’s liability should that employee be involved in an accident.

          1. So, they’re gonna fire Maureen Dowd?

            1. You can’t discriminate on mental disability.

          2. Also, anybody they employ that drives a company car, any forklifts, is around machinery like printing presses or is involved with employees that are should be tested

            If safety is the reason, then they need to test for impairment, not off-site/off-shift drug use.

            1. It’s,really,about,limiting their,liability in case of an accident. And pre-employment screening can usually be used to claim a “drug-free workplace”, and any positive test after an accident will limit the employers liability when an injured,party,sues.

              I’m not,saying it’s right. I’m just stating the common sense reason to have a drug-free workplace and to test for it under today’s legal climate.

        2. It should have been title: NYT Keeps Drug Testing Policy, Minorities and Women Hardest Hit

    3. It would be a more fun paper if they made drug use mandatory

      1. And they could use it when they have to make corrections. ‘Sorry, but that correspondent was baked!’

      2. He’s good, alright. But he’s no Clem Johnson. And Johnson played in the days before steroid injections were mandatory.

    4. I’m not comfortable with something so reasonable being published by Slate.

    5. Slate doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the idea that being opposed to prohibition does not mean being in favor of drug use necessarily.

      1. That which is not forbidden is mandatory.

        1. That does flow depressingly deeply in a lot of leftist thought. As well as the idea that removing a prohibition is necessarily an endorsement of something. We shouldn’t be asking why something should be legalized, but whether and why it should have been prohibited in the first place. People assume that the natural state of things is to have a law about everything.

          1. People assume that the natural state of things is to have a law about everything.

            Like calling this Congress “the least productive in history”. As if they’re not being productive unless they’re taking the right of some person to do some thing away.

          2. To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.

            – GK Chesterton (the real one, not the Notorious GKC)

            Unfortunately most people either don’t make this distinction, or worse, understand the distinction and still want to prohibit for everyone else that which they do not believe them to be right in doing.

            1. Or:

              You aren’t free unless you are free to be wrong.

        2. That which is not forbidden is mandatory.

          The inevitable implication of a society built on asking permission and following orders.

  30. Former PA police chief gets six months unsupervised probation for obstructing investigation into sexual abuse.

    http://wnep.com/2014/07/25/for…..sentenced/

    His sentencing had been delayed almost a year until his attorneys had ensured that his pension would not be effected. Well thank,God for that! We wouldn’t want a rape-enabler to not have a comfortable six-figure taxpayer-funded,pension.

    1. They had to make sure he got home safely for the rest of his life.

  31. Oklahoma police,chief comes up with novel way to show girls what not to let boys do to them: He sticks his fingers into them.

    http://www.ktul.com/story/2610…..olestation

    He’s on leave. No,word whether it is paid or not.

    1. You know, sloopy, when I anger myself into an inevitable heart attack, I’m sending you the bill.

      1. I’m sorry, man. Is it any consolation that it makes me just as angry?

    2. “It bothers me but I can’t say either way you know yeah I’m a little upset about it but I’m sure the city will take care of it.”

      What is wrong with people?

      1. We’ve been conditioned never to question our betters.

      2. Damn you beat me to it

      3. Compare and contrast: an obedient serf v. a free man:

        It bothers me but I can’t say either way you know yeah I’m a little upset about it exactly how but I’m sure the city will I’m going to take care of it ,one way or another.

    3. I thought you were fucking with us, but no. This guy is a surefire first-ballot induction into the Gall Hall of Fame.

      According to a probable cause affidavit, the girls told investigators they were inappropriately touched by Gregory multiple time during a period of years.

      When he was interviewed by investigators, Gregory said he touched the girls to instruct them on what to not let boys do to them, according to the affidavit.

      1. Can we just stop with the legalese bullshit. They weren’t “inappropriately touched.” THEY WERE FINGER RAPED. Judas Priest.

        1. Those fingers unexpectedly fondled without any warning at all to the officer.

          1. Girls were fondled. The officer made it home safely. Pensions were protected. Vacations were paid. Jail terms were not served.

            AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED.

      2. Gregory said he touched the girls to instruct them on what to not let boys do to them

        Literally every pedophile I have heard try to defend their behavior uses this line.

    4. Officer Bill Curtsinger is holding down the Spavinaw police department while the chief is on leave.

      *** spews coffee ***

    5. “Without the Mayes County Sheriff’s department we would be in hot water for sure,” Curtsinger said

      But now we can continue our Inappropriate Touches Community Initiative for a Safer Tomorrow For Our Children
      -Curtsinger

  32. Because if you or I fired an “assault rifle” into an occupied police car and lied about the occupant trying to run us over, we’d only be facing two relatively minor charges and would be free on $2,600 bail.

    http://touch.orlandosentinel.c…..-80899373/

    Also note that the PD spokesmodel was perfectly willing to release details of the case against the guy they fired upon but refuses to release details of the case against her co-worker, refuses to release the names of his co-conspirators (and co-shooters) and won’t talk until appeals are concluded…which means never.

    1. You BASTARD! STOP IT!

      I mean the cop AND YOU, SLOOPY!

      My nuts are NOT made of granite.

      1. At this point, I think my nuts are made of mashed potatos.

        1. Mine are safe …. sloopy done kicked them all the way up into my abdomen.

  33. Sometimes dude you jsut have to roll with it.

    http://www.WentAnon.Tk

    1. Goddamnit now there’s more of them.

      1. Wow – Jack Frapp is jsut not gonna like this one bit!

        http://www.lolwut.robotoverlords.de/derp

    2. Its name doesn’t even rhyme. I give it a 0/10.

      1. its name is vserve…probably short for virtual server 629. it is at least honest.

  34. What part of this is the craziest part of the story?

    South Carolina woman arrested for meth possession after a cop searches her purse (she consented to the search, natch), finds a bottle of urine and, knowing that meth heads often save their urine to extract excreted meth, performs a field test on the urine that indicates it’s got meth in it.

    1. They had sex, didn’t they?

    2. What part of this is the craziest part of the story?

      No humans or pets were shot?

    3. knowing that meth heads often save their urine to extract excreted meth

      Is this true? Any drug that makes me want to save my piss gets moved way down the list of ‘things I need to try’.

      1. That… I’m calling bullshit. No way does it pass through without breaking down substantially.

      2. I think you can do this for mushrooms, too.

        1. only a particular form of muscaria (fly agaric) and the form not usually found in the new world but in Europe.

    4. Wait, they have a field test for urine in SC? I seriously doubt that.

      1. It was a field taste.

  35. Slate writer asks: should marijuana legalization be tied to reparations?

    “if we legalize marijuana, it won’t just be for new revenues and savings. In part, it will be because we recognize the tremendous injury we’ve done to countless young men and women over decades of unfair enforcement of the law…

    We can’t always heal injury, but we can acknowledge and compensate for it. Any plan for legalization should come with a plan for reparations for those communities most damaged by our misguided war on marijuana. That doesn’t mean individual payments?the logistics are too difficult?as much as it does policies for affected communities, from job training and educational services to something like My Brother’s Keeper, all funded by a surtax on marijuana sales and distribution.”

    http://www.slate.com/articles/…..ingle.html

    1. Those communities voted for political leaders who supported the drug war. Let those leaders pay the reparations.

      1. The leaders did as their constituents obviously desired, otherwise they would have elected different people.

        Sounds like the voters owe themselves reparations.

    2. That doesn’t mean individual payments?the logistics are too difficult

      Of course. The logistics of shoveling buckets of taxpayer cash into politically connected “community organizations”, on the other hand, are incredibly easy.

      1. Of course they are too difficult. How do they propose to handle this other than blatant racism swinging the other way. Is the incompetent bloated piece of shit government (local, state, and fed) going to investigate everyone’s genealogy/family history to determine if they somehow benefited from slavery? What if someone is half-white/half-black? What if someone just got their citizenship? HOW DO THESE GRAFTING CYNICAL PSYCHOPATHS EXPECT TO GET AWAY WITH THIS?

    3. That doesn’t mean individual payments?the logistics are too difficult

      Actually they arent.

      He’s just afraid some white guys will get a check.

      1. I thought something similar, just cut a check for everyone with a conviction for a marijuana offense.

        What seems more feasible to me would be a pardon for everyone in that category.

        1. What seems more feasible to me would be a pardon for everyone in that category.

          Well, yeah. But that takes a lot of governors.

          The President cant pardon state level convictions.

          1. Good point.

      2. Remember when Bush had the stimulus check where everyone in the country who had paid taxes was cut a check for 300-600 bucks? That was awesome. Democrat stimulus programs never are that pure and always seem to help someone who is well connected. I don’t want another jobs bill. The next time you feel like spending on some big clusterfuck, just cut me a check instead.

        1. But you might just save it, and that doesn’t help the economy AT ALL!

        2. I had a “plan” for TARP money that was more direct payments but still helped the banks. Of course, I opposed my own plan, but if we were going to waste the money, waste if evenly to everyone.

          The idea was everyone got a “credit” for an even amount of money. Not just taxpayers, every US citizen over 18 on Jan 1.

          However, if they had a mortgage, it had to be applied to it, unless they were in foreclosure. Either to catch up if behind or to pay down principle.

          Secondly, it would be applied to government guaranteed student loans (that probably should have been step 1).

          Thirdly, applied to personal debt unless in bankruptcy.

          Finally, you get a check.

          Of course it was incredibly idiotic, but still tons better than TARP. And the banks get most of the money anyway. But it achieved a purpose.

          1. If we’re gonna be dumb let’s at least do it in a way that has some impact. Reminds me of an African charity called “Give Money”. Their mission is to just send cash to villages with no strings attached. The go super low overhead and maximize cash sent. The only money they spend here is to compare their relative success versus charities that send people over to build a fishery or start a herd of cows or some specific goal. It turns out that “Give Money” is more effective for the Africans. It however does not provide for feel-good NGO jobs for compassionate white folk.

            1. Cool. I will tell anyone donating to charity on my behalf to give it a look. http://www.givedirectly.org/faqs.php

          2. Either to catch up if behind or to pay down principle.

            The banks don’t actually want that. They want to book the penalties in accounts receivable.

            The problem with bank solvency is the law was making them stop lying about the quality of their assets. The bipartisan solution was to allow them to lie even more than before and make it seem like not lying by looking the other way when the Fed illegally purchases such “assets”.

      3. Not rocket surgery:

        (1) Set up a fund for “reparations”.
        (2) Gather info on everyone convicted of pot offenses within certain parameters (no actual violence, within last ten years, etc.)
        (3) Send them notice. Give them one year to apply.

    4. should marijuana legalization be tied to reparations?

      How about starting with a surtax on *cotton*?

    5. Oh for fuck’s sake. Or maybe you could just leave alone the people who have been wronged by prohibition and not pile new taxes on them.

    6. sounds reasonable right up to part where the “non-profits” steal the money

    7. So… the people buying the drug, who presumably were long against or always against prohibition, are the ones who should pay for the injustice of prohibition.

      OK.

  36. US (meaning Obama) fuming over Israeli criticism of Kerry.

    Ha-ha. They’re fuming because even the Israel left, who would usually be sympathetic to the Obama and Kerrys of the world and their efforts, is completely fed up and disgusted with this bunch.

    If it was only their arch-enemy Netanyahu who was angry, they would dismissively handwave the criticism away, but they can’t, because it’s the entire country.

    1. You know, if he takes it personally enough to start to represent a real and existential threat to Israel, they might be tempted to improve the leadership situation in America. We should be so lucky.

    2. Why can’t Kery just make a sarcastic joke and solve the whole crisis? It worked in Syria, after all…

  37. “I’ll take good care of the brain and the spinal cord, putting them in a solution.”

    A 16-year-old student in Nagasaki was arrested by police after the dismembered body of her classmate was discovered in her apartment. The student allegedly confessed to police that she sawed off 15-year-old Aiwa Matsuo’s head and hand after beating her with a hammer and strangling her with rope. Police are currently investigating a possible connection between Matsuo’s murder and a series of incriminating posts on popular Japanese forum 2Channel.

    1. Whoa. No boom boom for you, Baby San.

    2. OP delivers.

    3. 2Channel

      Only 1/2 as creepy as 4chan.

      1. 1 girl, 1/2 cup.

        1. Or, depending on which girl, 1/2 girl, 1 cup.

    4. after beating her with a hammer and strangling her with rope

      See, gun control works.

    5. Slender Man is pleased

    6. Maxwell Eidson-san, majoring in medicine…

  38. “From ‘Hello’ to ‘Oreos’ – the strange, but horribly-real, thought patterns of Reasonoids. A very special After School Special?…”

  39. Lefty rag finally gets the memo!

    “Oakland nonprofits on edge over push for $12.25 minimum wage”
    […]
    “But the nonprofit could be forced to cut the jobs it offers by 30 percent next year if Oakland voters approve a plan in November to raise the city’s minimum wage from $9 to $12.25 an hour starting March 1, its executive director said.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..652706.php

    Naturally, this is a special case and M/W increases won’t cause harm anywhere else, right?

    1. But non-profits have no profits, and profits are evil, hence they have no evil, so they should be exempted. Except of course for the evil non-profits that have no profits, but advocate in favor of profits, which are evil, because advocating for evil doesn’t deserve protection.

      1. “But non-profits have no profits, and profits are evil,” said the executive director of the non-profit, as she got in her Mercedes to drive home to her tastefully appointed $3,000 a month apartment.

        1. the one in the story cutting jobs pulls $300k in non-profit a year.

          1. She’s just scraping by.

          2. In New York, ‘non-proift’ is a codeword for ‘fraud laundering device’ whereby taxpayer funded programs directly line the bank accounts of the legislators.

            1. A scum-bag name of Chris Daly ran a racket out here: If you, Mr. or Ms. Developer wanted to build in his district, you had to ‘remediate’ the ‘damage’ you did to the neighborhood.
              By donating X sum to a ‘neighborhood support group’ whose employees (strangely enough) were Daly’s campaign workers.
              A second scum-bag named Newsom wasn’t around the office often enough (he was running for whatever next office he could find) to call Daly on the bullshit.
              We now have real evidence that term limits work; Daly is gone.
              Newsom is Lt. Governor, unfortunately.

  40. I’d love to stop kicking you all in the nuts but I can’t. Here’s the coup-de-grace.

    A Chicago cop that helped,plant evidence in a woman’s car, and then lied,about,it,on the stand which led to the city paying out $375,000, is about to,get his,job back. Ain’t unions great?

    http://politics.suntimes.com/a…..2014-635pm

    FTA: “The last couple of years have been a nightmare for me and my family,” Plewa, 35, told the Chicago Sun-Times this week. “”It’s been real tough on us. I’m looking forward to going back to work.”

    Yeah, but it was a peach on the lady you helped try to frame, right?

    1. It’s good to be king.

    2. I’m sure he’s getting back pay as well, right? I don’t want to read it so I’ll just ask.

    3. FTA: Prosecutors took another look at the case, charging Mazur with four felonies, including delivering drugs. Prosecutors also charged Plewa, alleging he’d been part of the plan to frame Marcinczyk ? although they never charged him with trying to profit from the scheme. Mazur pleaded guilty to filing a false police report and agreed to testify against Plewa. Even so, in August 2010, Cook County Judge Michael Brown found Plewa not guilty of all charges, saying the officer was merely guilty of being a “dupe.”

      “There was no evidence that you were involved in the planning of this hare-brained scheme,” Brown said from the bench. “There was no benefit that you got.”

      But Brown blasted Plewa for allegedly lying during Marcinczyk’s trial that he’d never met Mazur before arresting his wife. Brown said it was clear from the evidence that Mazur had met the officer.

      “You did a very horrible thing, Officer Plewa,” Brown said. “You lied in court. That’s not the kind of thing that we can countenance.”

      A judge arbitrarily finds him not guilty, says he lied in court but refuses to even so much as hold him in contempt.

      UN-fucking-believable.

      1. I find them all in contempt.

      2. UN-fucking-believable.

        They’re all on the same team.

      3. You would think the FBI or a federal prosecutor would get involved and charge the officer with a civil rights violation, but that would require Obama to go after Chicago’s political machine, generally, and Rahm Emmanuel, effectively.

        And Obama isn’t evar gonna let that happen.

    4. If his pension remains intact I am sure Plewa will cease pushing to get his job his back.

      1. Shit. This comment was supposed to be in reply to the Chicago drug and gun planting cop

        1. Oh. It is. Umm I guess I should grab a soda and wake up.

          1. Don’t be too hard on yourself, threading is tough to follow more than a few posts down.

            1. Thanks.

              I also think all of Sloopy’s nut punches made me woozy.

  41. “The United States has accused Russia of violating the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty by testing a cruise missile.”

    I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, what, with John Kerry on the job.

    Some sternly worded comments in the press, and Putin will fall right back in line. Besides, the important issue is Russia’s position on gay marriage. Well, that and…I don’t think Putin realizes how his behavior is hurting President Obama’s numbers at home.

    I wonder if Putin’s read “The Audacity of Hope”? Maybe Obama should send him an autographed copy. That and a joint press conference, and I’m sure everything will be alright.

    P.S. You’re all a bunch of racists.

    1. Maybe Kerry will say, “all options are on the table.” What? He already did? For Russia AND freakin Venezuela?!?!??! Never mind.

      http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/po…..n-ukraine/

      http://www.presstv.com/detail/…..venezuela/

      1. Kerry is playing Chess while us mortals are playing checkers. According to some he is the leading contender for a Dem nomination.

        1. I am not falling for that…that is the Onion, isn’t it?!

          1. Worse, it is Matt Yglesias twitter page.

    2. “John F. Kerry, reporting for duty….”

      *faces away from camera, salutes…..spins around, looks panicked*

      1. Obama’s State Department is so bad, they’re actually making world leaders pine for the Bush Administration, I’m sure.

        So, how many press conferences away do you think we are from Hamas and Israel sitting down and really getting to know each other, John?

        Treating the Secretary of State position like a political prize to be auctioned off for crass political purposes to insiders–like an ambassadorship to Austria, or somewhere–has nothing to do with it, I’m sure.

        1. There are positions in the State Dept that were previously held by GS employees or Foreign Service Officers that are now being held by appointees. These people are in charge of operational teams, not just some policy bullshit. I’m sure it’s the same in other agencies. This Obama dude has a lot of cronies to pay off, it seems.

          1. That’s…really troubling.

            That’s like Decline and Fall stuff.

    3. True fact: the cruise missile was launched with Hillary’s “reset button”.

  42. The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

    ORLY?

  43. The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

    Heh. File under “Famous Last Words”.

  44. New York Police Commissioner Bill Bratton stated, “It’s important that when an officer does approach you to correct your behavior, that you respect them. That’s what democracy’s all about.”

    Heh.

    1. Come on, it was the German Democratic Republic, after all…

    2. That’s what democracy’s nightsticks, tasers, and pistols are all about.”

      Fixed that for ya, Chief!

  45. Incidentally, does anyone else out there find navigating Hit & Run to be practically impossible with FireFox?

    I think it’s that autoplay ad on the front page. Yeah, I’ve updated all my plugins, etc.

    1. I find navigating most sites to be practically impossible with Firefox. And now Chrome is starting to get on my nerves, too. Maybe I’ll go back to IE…

      1. When I do Chrome on this site, I don’t have any trouble. But if I don’t shut down the main page really quick with FireFox, the whole thing freezes on me until flash finally crashes.

        I don’t have the same problem on other sites.

        “Maybe I’ll go back to IE…”

        You’re not really that desperate, are you? Making POWs use IE should be against the Geneva Conventions.

    2. I use FireFox with Adblock Plus. No trouble at all.

      1. Adblock is the key to using firefox or chrome.

  46. “The last couple of years have been a nightmare for me and my family,” Plewa, 35, told the Chicago Sun-Times this week. “”It’s been real tough on us. I’m looking forward to going back to work.”

    Beating the shit out of suspects is the best stress relief.

    1. You say “suspect”, I say “stress ball”, let’s call the whole thing off

  47. A group called “Geeks for Consent” is calling for organizers of Comic Con to institute a zero tolerance policy for physical and verbal sexual harassment.

    This has something to do with comic book culture that I was unaware of until a couple of days ago.

    http://mashable.com/2014/07/14…..omic-book/

    1. Sadly, the scifi/fantasy community draws heavily on the SJW demographic. Its ruining the community.

      1. The SJW demographic is ruining everything.

  48. *The chances that an outbreak of Ebola in West Africa will reach the United States are remote, according to the Centers for Disease Control.*

    This is the same CDC that can’t keep track of their own virii, so yeah, I will believe them. *Snort*

    Hell, they’ll probably “accidentally” release Ebola all over Atlanta at some point in the near future. “Oopsies!”

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