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Obama Calls for Cease-Fire in Ukraine, Study: Cellphone Driving Ban Doesn't Stop Accidents, Atlantic Coast to Open for Oil Drilling: P.M. Links

Zenon Evans | 7.18.2014 4:30 PM

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    President Obama, among other world leaders, has called for an immediate cease-fire in Ukraine following the deliberate downing of a Malaysia Airlines passenger plane. Also, the president confirmed that at least one American citizen was on the plane. U.S. military and intelligence reports indicate that rocket-armed separatists were responsible for the attack, and that they trained with the equipment in Russia recently. So, maybe when people call them "pro-Russian," that shouldn't refer to the fact that they're in favor of Russia, but that they're professionals.

  • For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.
  • Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn't shown signs of decreasing accidents.
  • CNN international correspondent Diana Magnay was pulled out of Israel after calling a group of Israelis "scum" on Twitter. To be fair, CNN acknowledges that the group "threatened and harassed" Magnay first.
  • The Islamic State (formerly the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS) is engaging in executions, rape, and forced child recruitment, according to a United Nations report, noting that this "may amount to war crimes." Way to take a hard line.
  • Elizabeth Warren made quite a splash at the progressivist Netroots Nation convention in Detroit yesterday. Then someone made a nauseatingly saccharine music video about it. 

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NEXT: Florida City Cops Told Not to Force Women to Shake Their Bras

Zenon Evans is a former Reason staff writer and editor.

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  1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

    For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.

    "We're sorry." -DP

    1. MJGreen   11 years ago

      Hello.

      Rufus is missing too!

      1. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

        He's not missing. He's Canadian, so you're probably just ignoring him.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Made it.

        Reason before business.

        Or is it the other way around?

        I forget at this point.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          You're in Quebec. Just say you're going on strike.

      3. Homple   11 years ago

        Has anyone ever seen the two of them together?

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

      Do I dare watch the Warren video?

      1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

        Only if you are a braver sole than me.

      2. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

        Don't. Seriously, don't.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          I just did because you advised against it.

          And you were right.

  2. Brandon   11 years ago

    Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn't shown signs of decreasing accidents.

    Like that matters.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      It has increased ticket revenue though!

      1. Brandon   11 years ago

        It was intended to save lives, dammit! Are you against saving lives?

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          I'm not sure...what's your mom's position? Besides reverse anal cowgirl, that is.

          1. Brandon   11 years ago

            We don't really talk about that, Epi. I didn't even know she was back to giving pity fucks.

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              She gives pity fucks?!? She made me pay! Bitch!

              1. Brandon   11 years ago

                There's a limit to pity.

              2. Pathogen   11 years ago

                He didn't say charity fucks

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The only way you can care about children is by continuing to do things that have been proven not to work.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        Your dedication to insanity is how you show you truly care!

  3. Sevo   11 years ago

    13 years of abandoned water-front property! Market failure:
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/sli.....602470.php

    1. Brandon   11 years ago

      Uh oh. Is Fist dead?

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        Did he land at that airport?!

        1. Brandon   11 years ago

          No, but 3 comments in and nothing from him. I'm worried.

          1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

            Fist is trapped in Warty's basement. I fear for him.

      2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        Is Fist dead?

        Worse. I was at an outlet mall.

        1. Corning   11 years ago

          Where the living envy the dead.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I blame global warming.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        "66-yard crater appears in far northern Siberia"
        http://www.sfgate.com/news/sci.....627981.php

        So do a lot of people.

  4. Andrew S.   11 years ago

    Love that CNN thing. "Yeah, she was threatened and harassed, and they were cheering bombings, that very thing we say our side never does but the other side does all the time. But she criticized the wrong side, and we can't have that."

    1. jmomls   11 years ago

      You got a little Arafat on your chin, big guy.

  5. kinnath   11 years ago

    http://abcnews.go.com/Internat.....d=24622245

    The day after Malaysia Flight MH 17 was shot down in Ukraine, members of the tight knit HIV/AIDS community are mourning the loss of roughly 100 HIV/AIDS researchers, who were killed en route to the International Aids Society conference in Melbourne, Australia.

    Although the IAS did not confirm the number of attendees on the plane, President Barack Obama told reporters today that nearly 100 AIDS/HIV researchers and scientists were on board MH 17 when it was shot down.

    It's a hate crime now.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      No, this is obviously evidence that MH17 was a CIA conspiracy. Those researchers were going to present the evidence that the CIA had manufactured the AIDS virus in an attempt to wipe out half the population of earth, in conjunction with the freemasons, the illuminati, and the reverse vampires.

      1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

        #WaronGays.

      2. Mongo   11 years ago

        reverse anal cowgirl vampires

        1. PD Scott   11 years ago

          You'd think they'd want bloodborne diseases stopped...

  6. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    Now, for a new type of link:

    40% off Sherwin Williams paint this weekend!

    Plus, a $15 off $75 purchase coupon.

    So paint some shit this weekend.

    1. Brandon   11 years ago

      At Pottery Barn? Has anyone here besides Jesse even been to a Pottery Barn?

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        No, the coupon is to be used at SW.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          It looks like CPA's weekend savings links will not catch on. Oh well.

          1. Brandon   11 years ago

            Maybe try with something besides paint? I mean, if I happened to need paint, it'd probably be interesting, but I'm pretty set on paint for the next couple of years.

            1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

              Alright, I won't give up just yet.

              I am a big proponent of Sherwin Williams though. I will never paint with the shit at Lowes or HD again.

      2. Muzzle of Bees   11 years ago

        I got my Star Wars pillowcase at Pottery Barn.

      3. Andrew S.   11 years ago

        My daughter has a backpack from Pottery Barn Kids... uh oh, what does that say about me?

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          That your wife has you whipped?

          1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

            No, but the kid does. She wanted the backpack! Was I supposed to say no?

            I did order it online rather than actually going to a store.

            1. Brandon   11 years ago

              Then you're probably safe from the gay germs.

            2. Ted S.   11 years ago

              Yes. And keep her away from that Disney princess shit.

      4. Episiarch   11 years ago

        That's a vile stereotype. Everyone knows jesse prefers Anthropoligie.

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          Are these shops that poor people go to? All of my furniture is made by old world artisans who have been press-ganged into servitude and have been promised a mimosa brunch once my home is suitably fabulous.

          1. Episiarch   11 years ago

            Don't act like you don't know what they are, jesse. It would be like you acting like you didn't know what Hot Topic was.

            1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              Of course I know where Hot Topic is. I'm committed to sustainable conformist-non-conformist douche-bag hunting, and only shoot farmed douche-bag.

            2. Old Man With Candy   11 years ago

              Isn't that those microwavable stuffed snacks?

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                Hot Pockets. Hot Topic is a goth store in suburban malls.

          2. Almanian!   11 years ago

            Can I have you over to do a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy home makeover, jesse?

            Cause it sounds like you know FAAABBBBBBULOUS, and I don't.

            1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

              If you saw his lawn, you would rescind your invitation. It looks like a crack house.

              1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                Hey, I've been watering it. The green parts are very green. There are just a lot of parts that look like the romans plowed salt into the fields.

                And don't forget my roommate's Fairlane rotting in the driveway.

      5. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

        I've waited outside one while my wife went in. Does that count?

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          See Ted S. comment above.

          1. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

            But, I've never even met Andrew's wife!

          2. Ted S.   11 years ago

            It's nice to see people referring to my comments. 🙂

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      Only Home Depot sells the cabinet finish that I need.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        You...you paint your own furniture/cabinets? Are you...are you poor?

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          After sitting on my ass all week in front of a computer, I enjoy doing things around the house.

          But maybe that's just me.

          1. Brandon   11 years ago

            Yeah, cutting shit down, wiring shit, hammering shit, but painting? That's indentured-orphan work.

            1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

              Eh, seems relaxing to me.

              That is, if I am able to get my wife to leave the house.

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                I get my wife to leave by trying to get her to help.

            2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

              For the record, I do all of my own demo and wiring. I tried a little bit of concrete work, but that failed pretty hard,

          2. Episiarch   11 years ago

            See, I enjoy drinking cold unfiltered sake out at the pool and getting a tan. I have people to take care of shit around my apartment.

            1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

              I just got back from the pool. Cooked up a nice spicy garlic lemon chicken. And now, back to work.

            2. Almanian!   11 years ago

              I trust you have Pool Boy take care of the pool?

              Good.

              1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                The pool?

              2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                Pool boy? What am I, Jesse? It's more of a pool maintenance corporation.

              3. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                Is that what pool boys are for? I'm pretty sure that's not what they're for.

                1. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

                  Jesse, please leave some pool boys available for the lonely housewives.

                  1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                    When did pool boys become single-use items.

                    Housewives can recycle them when I'm done.

                    1. Bobarian   11 years ago

                      They have a front side and back side; it's really hard to use them up.

        2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          I tested out a new cabinet resurfacing product myself on one cabinet. It was amazing for how much it costs. I go buy the stuff, and my under the table guy comes tomorrow to do the rest.

          It's this stuff tinted oak white:
          http://www.homedepot.com/p/Rus.....c=17588969

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            without stripping, sanding or priming???

            1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

              Just de-gloss with a sponge, and put on the bond coat. I swear by it. I redid a dark brown cabinet to a bone white, and it looks amazing. Only took an hour, too.

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                Look at the customer ratings and pictures. That's all you need to know.

                1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                  My cabinets are new, but if I ever have a project that pops up, I'll keep it in mind.

    3. Pi Guy   11 years ago

      For a second I'd thought I'd accidentally clicked on my Instapundit shortcut...

      "A Pottery Barn associate"

    4. Jesus H. Christ   11 years ago

      Thanks! I printed it.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        Well at least someone appreciated it!

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          Link to a coupon for hookers, blow, and gold coins and you'll be the most popular guy here.

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            *Goes into the bowels of the internet looking for hooker discounts*

  7. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.

    BUT OBAMA WON'T LET US DRILL HERE!!! BLUG! RANDPAULDERP!

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Oh, PB. I've decided to treat your posts as somebody's attempt at comedy. I'm much happier that way. You keep doing your thing, man. Thanks for the entertainment value.

      1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

        They are comedy in that I laugh at how wrong you Peanuts are most of the time.

        OBAMA WON'T LET US DRILL HERE! is a perfect example.

        (US now #1 in crude oil production)

        1. Sevo   11 years ago

          Palin's Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 4:42PM|#
          "They are comedy in that I laugh at how wrong..."

          Yeah, turd. In case you didn't notice, the change has nothing to do with producing oil.
          Fuck you, 8%.

        2. NotAnotherSkippy   11 years ago

          And your boy Barry did his best to stop that.

          http://energycommerce.house.go.....-areas.pdf

          2009 Fed Land Oil Production: 1.76Mbpd
          2013 " 1.66Mbpd

          Natural Gas?

          Overall, annual U.S. natural gas production rose by about four trillion cubic feet (tcf) or 19% since FY2009, while production on federal lands(onshore and offshore) fell by about 28%. Natural gas production on non-federal lands grew by 33% over the same time period.

          Asswipe.

        3. Corning   11 years ago

          US now #1 in crude oil production

          All on private land.

          Production on Federal lands (and oceans) has actually dropped.

    2. Brandon   11 years ago

      You're getting sadder.

    3. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      I do not think the criticism is that the administration allows no drilling or even no new drilling, but that he restricts drilling overall more than he should.

      1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

        He doesn't. It is wingnut myth.

        The sole exception was when BP poisoned the Gulf. He put a temporary moratorium on NEW deep water drilling until they could prove they put adequate blow-out preventors in.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          How would you show that he does not restrict it 'more than he should?' People have different ideas about 'should.'

          1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

            He doesn't restrict it at all.

            Hell, he is opening up the East Coast and many Green types are pissed off because he approved sonic cannons too.

            The Peanuts believe the myths they read about on nutcase sites like Breitbart.

            1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

              "He doesn't restrict it at all."

              At all? That's a pretty silly claim. I mean, ANWR. That's how easy it is to show that claim wrong, I didn't even need an actual word.

              1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

                New restrictions then.

                ANWR has been off limits forever.

                1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                  That's a goalpost shift

                2. Sevo   11 years ago

                  Palin's Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 5:04PM|#
                  "New restrictions then."

                  Lie, turd.

            2. NotAnotherSkippy   11 years ago

              God you're a stupid lying fuck.

              http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....65867.html

              Interior Secretary Ken Salazar has rejected a Bush administration plan to open vast waters off the Pacific and Atlantic coasts to oil and gas drilling, promising "a new way forward" in offshore energy development including new wind projects.

        2. Sevo   11 years ago

          Palin's Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 4:46PM|#
          "He doesn't..."

          Go fuck your daddy, turd.

        3. Corning   11 years ago

          He also opposes ANWAR and the keystone pipeline.

          And oil production from public lands has dropped.

    4. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

      They haven't permitted drilling yet you idiot.

    5. ant1sthenes   11 years ago

      So the people who complained were wrong, because several years later, the thing they complained about was somewhat mitigated?

      1. Wasteland Wanderer   11 years ago

        Logic is not programmed into his derpular matrix.

  8. Doghouse Reilly   11 years ago

    For those that missed it in the earlier Health Care thread:

    Fauxcahontas' 11 Commandments of Progressivism

    SPOILER ALERT: Free stuff for everybody!

    1. Muzzle of Bees   11 years ago

      Haha! That opening image. "Love me!"

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      "We believe that Wall Street needs stronger rules and tougher enforcement, and we're willing to fight for it."

      Funny, I would think that if Wall Street needed or wanted that they would be lobbying for it. She doesn't realize how much she comes across as a peevish schoolmarm, and how offensive that projection and needs-defining is to others.

    3. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

      #12: We don't know what the word "tenet" means, which means we incorrectly use it to refer to policy agenda.

      1. MJGreen   11 years ago

        Progressivism has always been at war with Hobby Lobby.

    4. MJGreen   11 years ago

      "We believe in science, and that means that we have a responsibility to protect this Earth."

      Wut?

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        "We believe in science, which is why we believe in Gaia worship!"

        1. Bobarian   11 years ago

          What do you mean "we", kemosabe?

      2. Muzzle of Bees   11 years ago

        "I don't know why you always have to be judging me, cause I only believe in science."

    5. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Dear Lord.

      I can no longer even digest these people.

      1. ant1sthenes   11 years ago

        Just bite the heads off and spit them out, then. And hurry up, there are more every day.

    6. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

      - "We believe that equal means equal, and that's true in marriage, it's true in the workplace, it's true in all of America."

      So I take it that Lizzie will vigorously oppose unequal practices such as alimony?

    7. Brandon   11 years ago

      We believe in science, and that means that we have a responsibility to protect this Earth

      We believe in non sequiturs, and that's why SQUIRREL!

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        Please do not summon Those Who Wreak Havoc.

        Please...

    8. Brandon   11 years ago

      We believe that students are entitled to get an education without being crushed by debt

      So is she going to get the government out of the student loan business?

    9. Obama's Buttplug   11 years ago

      Building on that list

  9. perlhaqr   11 years ago

    So, Fauxcahontas is trying to claim a new type of "native" membership?

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      She's going after the 'stupid' demographic.

    2. flye   11 years ago

      She advocates siouxan Wall St.

  10. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn't shown signs of decreasing accidents.

    Poor friendless Californians.

  11. Andrew S.   11 years ago

    Balko had this nutpunch yesterday:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....f-witness/

    Seriously. How on earth are the judge, prosecutor, and every member of that grand jury not in jail?

    Also, for anyone who questions why police officers never seem to get indicted, that's kind of the reason why.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      You forgot the cop who concealed the exculpatory evidence.

      1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

        He didn't conceal it! He merely accidentally brought it home and forgot about it!

        (yeah, him too)

        1. perlhaqr   11 years ago

          "Oopsie!"

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      There IS such a thing as evil towns; where everyone has a little of the devil in them.

  12. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    Fun Catholic Theology

    "With direct sterilization, sterility is chosen either as an end (sterility is the goal) or as a means (sterility is sought to bring about another goal, i.e. the health of a woman). Direct sterilization is 'absolutely forbidden' in Catholic institutions, because it is not 'oriented to the integral good of the person.' Catholics should never choose a sterilization procedure that is 'direct.' To do so freely and knowingly is a mortal sin.

    Indirect sterilization, on the other hand, is licit because it 'has a directly therapeutic character'. Indirect sterilization addresses a present pathological condition in which part of the reproductive system is 'seriously injured and poses an 'immediate serious threat to the life or health of the mother.'...

    But what if part of the reproductive system does not itself present a risk but rather a future pregnancy poses a significant risk to the health of the mother? Often in such a situation medical practitioners recommend a hysterectomy or tubal ligation. Can a woman follow this recommendation to prevent a future pregnancy and in order to secure her health? The CDF answers plainly, 'Negative,'...An ethical means of securing the health of the woman must be chosen. For example, the careful practice of periodic abstinence (NFP) may be embraced as an act of love for one's spouse."

    http://www.crisismagazine.com/.....ife-mother

    1. Tonio   11 years ago

      Thanks for that, Bo, but do please learn HTML tags.

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        I'm thinking here you mean I could have just put the link into the heading? I can see that, but some people, I'm one, don't like to click on links.

        1. tarran   11 years ago

          There's a tag called blockquote. It works really well and is easy to use.

        2. Tonio   11 years ago

          Well, I was thinking more of Italics or Block Quote which are simpler than embedding a link into the body text.

          1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            Fair enough.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      I'm getting "sterilized" this summer.

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        Said Pl?ya last summer.

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

          Well, there's plenty of evidence that I didn't.

          1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

            Luckily if you don't follow through this time you'll have baby stuff in your garage again!

    3. Almanian!   11 years ago

      cool story, bro

    4. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      What's their position on putting babies in septic tanks?

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        I hope it's not as ludicrous as this one

        1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          So essentially, it's ok to forswear using the equipment, but a mortal sin to impair the equipment even if the chance of future use of it imperils the mother.

          I used to think Catholics were hung up on sex, but it's actually more specifically sex organs! Forget having a healthy sex life, what's really important is keeping the runways open, even if you got a 'closed, no trespassing' sign on them.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

            "*I'm* obsessed? *You're* the one with all the dirty pictures!"

            http://www.bouldertherapist.co.....chach.html

            1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

              No rock videos about how all sex should be potentially procreative Eddie?

              I am disappoint

  13. Karl Hungus   11 years ago

    Father walks in on man molesting his 11-year-old son. The molester's mugshot tells us what happened next:

    http://www.wptv.com/news/state.....-frolander

    1. Beautiful Bean Footage   11 years ago

      It's too bad Picasso isn't still alive to paint that perp's face

      1. Karl Hungus   11 years ago

        Even Picasso would have his work cut out for him. Some of those colors on that guy's face I don't believe could be reproduced using ordinary paint.

    2. GILMORE   11 years ago

      "Asked if any weapons were involved, the father said "my foot and my fist."

      This guy should never have to pay for his own beer for the rest of his life.

      1. Karl Hungus   11 years ago

        Dad is definitely a hero, alright. If he's ever publicly identified, I'm sure that such offers will come pouring in.

        Hey, take another look at that mugshot, is it just me, or is that guy's face misshapen, more so than you'd expect from even severe swelling? I'm wondering if he doesn't have a busted jaw . . .

  14. waffles   11 years ago

    engaging in executions, rape, and forced child recruitment..Way to take a hard line

    PHRASING.

    1. Tonio   11 years ago

      We're still doing that?

  15. Warty   11 years ago

    For a magazine called Science

    The rage. The delicious rage. Oh god, it's delicious.

    Australian researchers have condemned the move. The tax repeal is a "dereliction of duty with respect to the rights of young people and future generations," says energy research expert Hugh Outhred of the University of New South Wales in Sydney. "The perfect storm of stupidity," adds Roger Jones, a specialist in climate change risk and adaptation at Victoria University in Melbourne. Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a "complete disregard" for the science of climate change. "It's hard to imagine a more effective combination of poor reasoning and bad policymaking."

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      The AGW cultists are seeing their house of cards collapsing, and they hate it. They were so close (at least in their minds) to getting the CONTROL they wanted. So close. And now it's slipping through their fingers...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        ^This. Delicious.

      2. MJGreen   11 years ago

        That this happened in Australia must really eat at them. Didn't the Australian government produce some insane global warming website just a few years ago?

      3. tarran   11 years ago

        Someone just took their tiger-repelling rock away, and they are *scared*!

      4. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

        It sure seems that way. They've triple-dog-dared reality and come up short. My question is what is the next chicken-little moment? I saw something about some evidence that we might be going into a cooling trend--will they use that to reboot?

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          Maybe. They overplayed this hand pretty badly. I think they're going to drop the weather thing for a while. Who knows what the next apocalyptic "GIVE US CONTROL!!!" thing will be.

          1. perlhaqr   11 years ago

            I'm just curious what the next excuse DuPont will use to get automobiles to be forced into a new refrigerant will be.

      5. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

        I know the difference between weather and climate, but today is the first July day in the 25 years that I've lived in Dallas that we've opened all the windows and turned the A/C off.

        1. Trouser-Pod   11 years ago

          Damn skippy. Pretty nice out, isn't it?

        2. Corning   11 years ago

          My state hit 100 and caught on fire.

    2. PapayaSF   11 years ago

      I guess "good reasoning and good policymaking" are supposed to ignore the actual effects of the law.

    3. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

      Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a "complete disregard" for the sciencedoomsaying of climate changeGlobal Cooling/Global Warming/Climate Change/Climate Chaos.

      Fixed it for him. No charge, of course. I'm just a nice S.O.B. like that.

      1. Pathogen   11 years ago

        Orrr...

        "..Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a "complete disregard" for poor reasoning and bad policymaking... "the science of climate change"."

    4. Sevo   11 years ago

      The next asshole who uses "prefect storm" gets the hard-back book jammed up his or her ass.

  16. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    Elizabeth Warren made quite a splash at the progressivist Netroots Nation convention in Detroit yesterday. Then someone made a nauseatingly saccharine music video about it.

    Well fuck me.

    Also the Warren campaign should be ashamed of itself stealing the Ready for Hillary slogan like that.

    1. Idle Hands   11 years ago

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqCFxg2ez44#t=111

      Forgot the link.

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      Jesse, you tease!

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        Who said I was teasing?

  17. Tman   11 years ago

    So which do you think sounds better?

    Chief Lieawatha or the classic Fauxcahontas?

    Tough call.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Fauxcahontas is best. It can't be improved upon.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Fauxcahontas, FTW. She'll never live that down and it will be a way to get people to ask on their own why she is called that, which is much more effective than constantly bringing that up.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          this

    2. PapayaSF   11 years ago

      Here's a list made up from ones seen on Facebook and Twitter which I've posted before.

      Top Ten Elizabeth Warren Indian Names

      10. Little Pantsonfire

      9. Woman Who Loves Eater of Dogs

      8. Lie-a-watha

      7. Hoarder of Feathers Who Hates Feather Hoarders

      6. Sitting Bullsh*t

      5. Hunts at Whole Foods

      4. Running Joke

      3. Taxagawea

      2. Dances With Occupiers

      And the number one Elizabeth Warren Indian name:

      1. Fauxcahontas

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        5 and 2 made me laugh.

      2. kinnath   11 years ago

        I like running joke.

    3. Obama's Buttplug   11 years ago

      Chief Shitting Bull

    4. Pathogen   11 years ago

      "..The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say's she doesn't. That's why I call her "Doesn't Like Horses". But, of course, she's lying."

  18. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    Black Captain America Saves Black Nerds Everywhere

    "It's hard to be a black nerd at a comic book convention.
    Even among all the bright lights and C-list sci-fi stars and homemade costumes, you stand out. Especially among the homemade costumes. If you choose to cosplay as a black nerd, you find yourself with limited options. You can pick from among the small list of characters who actually match your race. Pretty much every black guy running around the convention floor is dressed like the Samuel L. Jackson-based Nick Fury...

    But the impossible just got a little more possible: Marvel released an announcement late Wednesday night that someone new would be taking over as that most patriotic of heroes, Captain America. The iconic shield is being passed from Steve Rogers, the white man who has played the part almost constantly since World War II, on to a black man: Sam Wilson, better known as the Falcon in Marvel's pages. That's right everyone: my president's black. Now Cap is, too."

    http://thinkprogress.org/cultu.....n-america/

    1. PD Scott   11 years ago

      What about Green Lantern John Stewart?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        It would have to be changed to Black Lantern.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          Black Lanterns are actually zombies.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Lantern_Corps

    2. MJGreen   11 years ago

      You could also cosplay a white character. That's what plenty of Asians do. (ditto Hispanic and Polynesians)

      But whatever. That's nice.

    3. Bobarian   11 years ago

      Well there is always:

      The Falcon - Sam Wilson's original job
      Luke Cage, Power Man - Hero for Hire
      Blade
      Black Panther
      War Machine - Jim Rhoads
      Bishop
      Deathlok

    4. Matrix   11 years ago

      I'm fine with a black Captain America. But I think a femal Thor is ridiculous.

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        But I think a female Thor is ridiculous.

        It nettled me at first, but the Vikings loved them some gender swap stories. At one point Mj?llnir was stolen and Heimdall and Loki convince Thor to dress up as a woman and marry ?rymr while pretending to be Freyja to steal it back. Hilarity ensued. I think Loki also bore children while in womanly form at one point.

        Besides the Marvel Thor gets his powers from the hammer. I don't see why a woman wouldn't get buffed while holding it.

        1. Grummun   11 years ago

          Who's still reading this?

          Loki, shapechanged into a mare, was the mother of Odin's horse, Sleipnir.

          1. Coeus   11 years ago

            Kinky

            1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              Maybe that Mendoza fellow was on to something with his busting a nut up in that horse to make a horse-man baby.

              I'm suddenly rethinking my middle school era AOL handle that referenced Loki.

      2. Corning   11 years ago

        The woman who takes up the hammer has not been named yet.

        I am hoping it is Marvel Universe's version of actress Katheryn Winnick.

  19. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    University of Wisconsin Faculty Votes to Apportion Grades by Race

    1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      There's some question about all of this:

      http://althouse.blogspot.com/2.....isons.html

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        You'd hope so.

    2. Matrix   11 years ago

      So proglodytes believe that black people are inferior to whites and asians and therefore need a boost in their grades?

      Doesn't ANY black person find this incredibly insulting? I'm not black, but I would be extremely insulted if I was. Actually, I'm still insulted anyway. This is ludicrous!

  20. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    Generate your own social justice warrior blog (or Tumblr insult or rant).

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE AGAINST GAY RIGHTS ACTIVISM & FATISM, YOU GENDER-OVERPRIVILEGED BROGRAMMER????

      I realize making fun of these people is the same as giving a retarded kid a swirlie. But man is it fun to give retarded kids swirlies.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        You gave yourself swirlies? You're more flexible than I thought.

    2. MJGreen   11 years ago

      PLEASE FUCKING STOP. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! today i'm literally a dogkin, so address me as "ze/zir/zes" & not "xe/xem/xyr", you binary-overprivileged kyriarchist!!!!!!! CHECK YOUR MIDDLE CLASS PRIVILEGE!!!!!! now go away.<//blockquote

      It ends with a My Little Pony "U MAD?" gif. Well done.

      1. MJGreen   11 years ago

        Can't say the same for myself. I closed the brackets, damn it!

  21. PD Scott   11 years ago

    Weekend old movie alert: Bad Day at Black Rock on TCM tomorrow afternoon @ 4:15 EDT.

    Classic "man comes to town" story, starring Spencer Tracy (as a one-armed man), Robert Ryan, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Marvin and Anne Francis.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      There's also the hilarious "horror" movie The Wasp Woman tomorrow at noon ET.

      But yes, Bad Day at Black Rock is excellent.

  22. Warty   11 years ago

    Everyone knows about Dan Bilzerian, right?

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      No link to the video of him throwing the porn star off of his roof?

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

        And for the record, it was her fault she got hurt. If somebody is throwing you into a pool, DO NOT FLAIL ABOUT.

      2. Warty   11 years ago

        Dan Bilzerian @DanBilzerian ? Jul 15

        Small tits are not fashionable

        ReplyReplied to 0 timesRetweetRetweeted 4,055 times4.1KFavoriteFavorited 5,842 times5.8K
        More

  23. Warty   11 years ago

    Today in Oddly Phrased Science News: 'MRI' of Rainier's intestines finds massive magma reserve

    1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      If anyone works or goes to school with someone named Rainier, this is their lucky day. Clip that headline and go.

    2. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Great, like I need another reason to worry about one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world that's about 60 miles away. And with this clear summer weather, I can see the fucker every single day.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

        You'll be fine. Orting, on the other hand, will be fucked.

      2. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

        I dunno, mudslides sound fun. I think you should surf it, ? la Peter Fonda in Escape from L.A..

      3. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

        It tasks you!

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          Rainier, you bloodsucker. You're going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?

          1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            My question is, when it blows, will people in Seattle be able to see it?

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              Absolutely. If the air is clear you can see Rainier really well. It's fucking massive.

              Now, its ash fallout might cause some problems...

              1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

                Do you guys usually have constant onshore breezes up there? The ash might go the other way like it did with Mt. St Helens.

                1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                  Not in the sound. On the actual Pacific shore, yes, nonstop (ever) onshore breezes. But not in the sound.

          2. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

            Ranier will do far worse than kill you, Epi. It will hurt you. And it will go on hurting you. It shall leave you marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive! Buried alive!

    3. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

      I read elsewhere that the 2011 Japanese earthquake may have seriously disturbed the 'intestines' of Mt. Fuji.

  24. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago


    11:02 AM ET
    McCain: Had I won in 2000, Iraq War might not have happened

    If he had been president, McCain said, "I think I would have challenged the evidence with greater scrutiny.

    http://thelead.blogs.cnn.com/2.....-iraq-war/

    1. Brandon   11 years ago

      He's just wanted to invade every country he's ever heard mentioned since then.

    2. Chinny Chin Chin   11 years ago

      OK, this is funny.

      1. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

        This is certainly the best link that PB has ever made. Maybe it is sentient.

        Really, bravo.

  25. Almanian!   11 years ago

    I hear shrieking. Time to go.

    Fuck everyone! Have a great weekend! Even the trolls!

  26. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    "Dragging Israel before the International Criminal Court on accusations of war crimes is a non-starter, said a senior Palestinian official, because the Palestinians themselves are guilty of blatant war crimes."

    http://www.israeltoday.co.il/N.....fault.aspx

  27. GILMORE   11 years ago

    Speaking of anyone griefing about the latest Israel/Palestinian slapfest...

    ...ask them if they remember when Hamas was elected, and what happened immediately afterward, and what most people at the time then considered to be 'inevitable'.

    I've so far met 3 people who registered total-fail on all counts. Yet they seem content to have *strong opinions* about the issue, regardless.

    1. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

      Oooh I remember hearing from TIME and other respectable mainstream opinion-setter that the responsibility of governance will force Hamas to act more responsibly and embrace great moderation. I guess they're only attacking Israel 'moderately' often now.

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        People were hoping the same for Likud too, with similar disappointing results I guess

        1. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

          What a perfectly Botarded thing to say. How many suicide bombers has Likud ever used?

          1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            Why use suicide bombers when you can use US made missiles? Easier to blow up kids on beaches that way!

            1. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

              Grade A Botard

  28. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Our underappreciated police forces work night and day to protect us from crimes. Like theft.

    Unless some guy is stealing the displays of prolife picketers, as happened in Jackson, Mississippi.

    (from Youtube)

    http://bit.ly/UgpaeQ

    The local news wants to remind you that the protesters are outside agitators from Ohio. Also that the muncipal code doesn't allow displays on sidewalks. They didn't mention whether the municipal code legalizes stealing.

    (from wapt.com)

    http://bit.ly/1rnFKrv

  29. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

    Wisconsin Police Chief Tries to Get Tea Partier a Date; Hilarity Ensues

    Monroe County District Attorney Kevin Croninger told The Associated Press he plans to charge Town of Campbell Police Chief Tim Kelemen with misdemeanor unlawful use of a computerized communication system Thursday afternoon.

    Kelemen would face up to $1,000 in fines and 90 days in jail if convicted, but would still be able to stay on as police chief. Only those with felony convictions or misdemeanor convictions related to domestic violence are precluded from being police officers, according to the state Department of Justice.

    Of all the ways that cops can be petty, vengeful dickheads, this was the best he could come up with?

    1. paranoid android   11 years ago

      A prosecutor plans to charge a western Wisconsin police chief with a misdemeanor for allegedly registering a tea party leader on gay dating, pornography and federal health care websites.

      There are gay-only health care sites now?

  30. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    "Hot felon" killed - wife arrested.

    http://www.huzlers.com/1-hour-.....lled-wife/

    1. Sevo   11 years ago

      Looks ain't everything!

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        Have to admit I fell for it, mostly 'cause I don't have enough invested to care whether he's dead.

    2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

      Not real.

    3. Muzzle of Bees   11 years ago

      Hoax.

    4. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      OK, I retract this story pending further confirmation. Sorry if I fell for a hoax.

      1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

        How many hot felons in the septic tank?

        1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          I just cleared them out so you can use the facility for your nonprocreative rape dungeon.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

            I suppose the difference between us is that I noted my error in less than 10 minutes, and apologized.

            1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

              That, and oh the one where yours was totally false and not just incorrect about a detail rather unrelated to the overall point...

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

                So I'm guessing you're *still* not going to apologize?

                1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                  Skipped everything after the second and, huh?

                  1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

                    So I'm guessing you're *still* not going to apologize for the minor error about 800 dead babies in a septic tank?

                    It's possible to apologize - I did it in under 10 minutes, and *I'm* an evildoer rape apologist. How much easier must it be for you!

          2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            And commit a mortal sin? Nah, I'll stick to Church approved use only, like all sex after marriage, which we know grants tacit consent from then on!

            1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

              Uh, ain't nothing *tacit* about it, sweet cheeks.

              And you may recall the context of my remarks, with colleges policing the details of one-night stands involving unmarried students. I was suggesting they reinstate their parietal rules to deter extramarital intimacy.

              As to spousal *violence* (to which married people do *not* consent), that would be a matter for the real-world cops and courts to deal with, not a matter for the sandbox college "courts."

              1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

                You were saying if they were. married they wouldn't need expressions of consent, I guess marital rape doesn't exist for you. But if you want to say you were really arguing for a return to a system much more offensive to freedom, be my guest (or would it only apply to hot felon students?)

                1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

                  No, marital *violence* exists. Nor should it be a defense that the violence was related to sex. As I mentioned before, having marital rights doesn't mean you can enforce them by violence.

                  I don't think that parietal rules are all that offensive to freedom.

    5. Muzzle of Bees   11 years ago

      I don't understand non-Onion-like fake news sites, where it looks like a real article and not an obvious parody. Is it supposed to be funny?

  31. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    http://wonkette.com/554158/aut.....edly-again

    Surprise surprise.

    1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      A Pittsburgh pastor who wrote a not-quite-bestselling book about his successful struggle to become a former gay has been arrested for sexually assaulting a teenaged boy. On the one hand, it looks like pretty strong evidence that attempts to pray away the gay just don't take, but we'd also like to point out that, comes right down to it, the gay is a far less problematic issue here than the teenager-raping. Dare we even suggest that if Bishop Duane Youngblood of the "Higher Call World Outreach Church" had just settled down to being a happily gay man instead of trying to force himself to be straight, it's entirely possible he wouldn't have done nonconsensual sex to a teen who came to him for counseling? We don't claim to be experts on this stuff.

      Really, his name is Youngblood?

      Oh, also, it's probably worth mentioning that in 2006 Youngblood was accused of molesting a 15-year-old boy he was "counseling." He was "sentenced to one year of intermediate punishment and seven years' probation," but somehow managed to continue running a church with an outreach ministry to youth, because? you know, First Amendment be damned, how for godssakes is that even legal?

      Ugh. Stop having sex with kids, people.

      1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

        sentenced to one year of intermediate punishment

        Hit him hard, but not TOO hard!

  32. Coeus   11 years ago

    Solve the gender wage gap

    There is a solution to the gender pay gap in Australia, and possibly the world. We can resolve it, and it won't take 75 years, which is how long Oxfam believes the problem will spend fixing itself. No longer must we rend our national garments in shame, watching the gap figure hover around 17%.

    Here it is: we simply pay women more money. Whether we do this by reducing women's tax burden, providing them with an income supplement, or allowing women to personally shake down their male colleagues until an appropriate amount of change falls from their pockets, I don't mind. But it's clear that sitting around furrowing our brows isn't working, so it's time to make some changes.

    1. EdWuncler   11 years ago

      This is some pure derp.

    2. MJGreen   11 years ago

      God damn some people are idiots.

    3. Carl is dead inside   11 years ago

      If only anybody had ever thought of any of those things...

    4. ant1sthenes   11 years ago

      I suppose it's only fair that we let women claim themselves as children for the purposes of taxes.

    5. Matrix   11 years ago

      Just pay everyone a flat wage, and that'll fix this illusory wage gap BS.

  33. MegaloMonocle   11 years ago

    Naturally, Obama waits until the Russians are losing to the Ukrainians to ask for a cease-fire.

    1. Pathogen   11 years ago

      He was patiently waiting for all the noise to die down, so he could spring into action as the compassionate voice of reason... 2 months too late. What's important is that he's committed to doing "something", and this.. is "something"!

  34. Bubba Jones   11 years ago

    But reset.

  35. PD Scott   11 years ago

    Were there any drugs (other than alcohol) in From Dusk Til Dawn?

    Maybe they were trying to keep it family friendly...

  36. Corning   11 years ago

    Mexican, pot-fueled reverse anal cowgirl vampires, you mean.

    Chupacabra, you mean.

  37. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    Yeah I recently painted my back and front doors.

    I started with back, and since HD was running a sale I was tempted and bought some Behr. I painted 6 coats of thin paint on it before I was satisfied.

    Switched back to SW for the front door. Two coats of nice thick paint and done.

    I would try Ben Moore if there was one nearby, but closest one is in Virginia.

  38. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    You close the windows and take deep breaths, eh? The paint can labels say that's against federal law...

  39. Pl?ya Manhattan.   11 years ago

    I've used something similar when my furniture gets scratched. Just wipe it on with a rag, and it's done.

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