Obama Calls for Cease-Fire in Ukraine, Study: Cellphone Driving Ban Doesn't Stop Accidents, Atlantic Coast to Open for Oil Drilling: P.M. Links

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    President Obama, among other world leaders, has called for an immediate cease-fire in Ukraine following the deliberate downing of a Malaysia Airlines passenger plane. Also, the president confirmed that at least one American citizen was on the plane. U.S. military and intelligence reports indicate that rocket-armed separatists were responsible for the attack, and that they trained with the equipment in Russia recently. So, maybe when people call them "pro-Russian," that shouldn't refer to the fact that they're in favor of Russia, but that they're professionals.

  • For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.
  • Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn't shown signs of decreasing accidents.
  • CNN international correspondent Diana Magnay was pulled out of Israel after calling a group of Israelis "scum" on Twitter. To be fair, CNN acknowledges that the group "threatened and harassed" Magnay first.
  • The Islamic State (formerly the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS) is engaging in executions, rape, and forced child recruitment, according to a United Nations report, noting that this "may amount to war crimes." Way to take a hard line.
  • Elizabeth Warren made quite a splash at the progressivist Netroots Nation convention in Detroit yesterday. Then someone made a nauseatingly saccharine music video about it. 

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  1. For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.

    “We’re sorry.” -DP

    1. Hello.

      Rufus is missing too!

      1. He’s not missing. He’s Canadian, so you’re probably just ignoring him.

      2. Made it.

        Reason before business.

        Or is it the other way around?

        I forget at this point.

        1. You’re in Quebec. Just say you’re going on strike.

      3. Has anyone ever seen the two of them together?

    2. Hello.

      Do I dare watch the Warren video?

      1. Only if you are a braver sole than me.

      2. Don’t. Seriously, don’t.

        1. I just did because you advised against it.

          And you were right.

  2. Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn’t shown signs of decreasing accidents.

    Like that matters.

    1. It has increased ticket revenue though!

      1. It was intended to save lives, dammit! Are you against saving lives?

        1. I’m not sure…what’s your mom’s position? Besides reverse anal cowgirl, that is.

          1. We don’t really talk about that, Epi. I didn’t even know she was back to giving pity fucks.

            1. She gives pity fucks?!? She made me pay! Bitch!

              1. There’s a limit to pity.

              2. He didn’t say charity fucks

    2. The only way you can care about children is by continuing to do things that have been proven not to work.

      1. Your dedication to insanity is how you show you truly care!

  3. 13 years of abandoned water-front property! Market failure:
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/sli…..602470.php

    1. Uh oh. Is Fist dead?

      1. Did he land at that airport?!

        1. No, but 3 comments in and nothing from him. I’m worried.

          1. Fist is trapped in Warty’s basement. I fear for him.

      2. Is Fist dead?

        Worse. I was at an outlet mall.

        1. Where the living envy the dead.

    2. I blame global warming.

      1. “66-yard crater appears in far northern Siberia”
        http://www.sfgate.com/news/sci…..627981.php

        So do a lot of people.

  4. Love that CNN thing. “Yeah, she was threatened and harassed, and they were cheering bombings, that very thing we say our side never does but the other side does all the time. But she criticized the wrong side, and we can’t have that.”

    1. You got a little Arafat on your chin, big guy.

  5. http://abcnews.go.com/Internat…..d=24622245

    The day after Malaysia Flight MH 17 was shot down in Ukraine, members of the tight knit HIV/AIDS community are mourning the loss of roughly 100 HIV/AIDS researchers, who were killed en route to the International Aids Society conference in Melbourne, Australia.

    Although the IAS did not confirm the number of attendees on the plane, President Barack Obama told reporters today that nearly 100 AIDS/HIV researchers and scientists were on board MH 17 when it was shot down.

    It’s a hate crime now.

    1. No, this is obviously evidence that MH17 was a CIA conspiracy. Those researchers were going to present the evidence that the CIA had manufactured the AIDS virus in an attempt to wipe out half the population of earth, in conjunction with the freemasons, the illuminati, and the reverse vampires.

      1. #WaronGays.

      2. reverse anal cowgirl vampires

        1. You’d think they’d want bloodborne diseases stopped…

  6. Now, for a new type of link:

    40% off Sherwin Williams paint this weekend!

    Plus, a $15 off $75 purchase coupon.

    So paint some shit this weekend.

    1. At Pottery Barn? Has anyone here besides Jesse even been to a Pottery Barn?

      1. No, the coupon is to be used at SW.

        1. It looks like CPA’s weekend savings links will not catch on. Oh well.

          1. Maybe try with something besides paint? I mean, if I happened to need paint, it’d probably be interesting, but I’m pretty set on paint for the next couple of years.

            1. Alright, I won’t give up just yet.

              I am a big proponent of Sherwin Williams though. I will never paint with the shit at Lowes or HD again.

      2. I got my Star Wars pillowcase at Pottery Barn.

      3. My daughter has a backpack from Pottery Barn Kids… uh oh, what does that say about me?

        1. That your wife has you whipped?

          1. No, but the kid does. She wanted the backpack! Was I supposed to say no?

            I did order it online rather than actually going to a store.

            1. Then you’re probably safe from the gay germs.

            2. Yes. And keep her away from that Disney princess shit.

      4. That’s a vile stereotype. Everyone knows jesse prefers Anthropoligie.

        1. Are these shops that poor people go to? All of my furniture is made by old world artisans who have been press-ganged into servitude and have been promised a mimosa brunch once my home is suitably fabulous.

          1. Don’t act like you don’t know what they are, jesse. It would be like you acting like you didn’t know what Hot Topic was.

            1. Of course I know where Hot Topic is. I’m committed to sustainable conformist-non-conformist douche-bag hunting, and only shoot farmed douche-bag.

            2. Isn’t that those microwavable stuffed snacks?

              1. Hot Pockets. Hot Topic is a goth store in suburban malls.

          2. Can I have you over to do a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy home makeover, jesse?

            Cause it sounds like you know FAAABBBBBBULOUS, and I don’t.

            1. If you saw his lawn, you would rescind your invitation. It looks like a crack house.

              1. Hey, I’ve been watering it. The green parts are very green. There are just a lot of parts that look like the romans plowed salt into the fields.

                And don’t forget my roommate’s Fairlane rotting in the driveway.

      5. I’ve waited outside one while my wife went in. Does that count?

        1. See Ted S. comment above.

          1. But, I’ve never even met Andrew’s wife!

          2. It’s nice to see people referring to my comments. šŸ™‚

    2. Only Home Depot sells the cabinet finish that I need.

      1. You…you paint your own furniture/cabinets? Are you…are you poor?

        1. After sitting on my ass all week in front of a computer, I enjoy doing things around the house.

          But maybe that’s just me.

          1. Yeah, cutting shit down, wiring shit, hammering shit, but painting? That’s indentured-orphan work.

            1. Eh, seems relaxing to me.

              That is, if I am able to get my wife to leave the house.

              1. I get my wife to leave by trying to get her to help.

            2. For the record, I do all of my own demo and wiring. I tried a little bit of concrete work, but that failed pretty hard,

          2. See, I enjoy drinking cold unfiltered sake out at the pool and getting a tan. I have people to take care of shit around my apartment.

            1. I just got back from the pool. Cooked up a nice spicy garlic lemon chicken. And now, back to work.

            2. I trust you have Pool Boy take care of the pool?

              Good.

              1. The pool?

              2. Pool boy? What am I, Jesse? It’s more of a pool maintenance corporation.

              3. Is that what pool boys are for? I’m pretty sure that’s not what they’re for.

                1. Jesse, please leave some pool boys available for the lonely housewives.

                  1. When did pool boys become single-use items.

                    Housewives can recycle them when I’m done.

                    1. They have a front side and back side; it’s really hard to use them up.

        2. I tested out a new cabinet resurfacing product myself on one cabinet. It was amazing for how much it costs. I go buy the stuff, and my under the table guy comes tomorrow to do the rest.

          It’s this stuff tinted oak white:
          http://www.homedepot.com/p/Rus…..c=17588969

          1. without stripping, sanding or priming???

            1. Just de-gloss with a sponge, and put on the bond coat. I swear by it. I redid a dark brown cabinet to a bone white, and it looks amazing. Only took an hour, too.

              1. Look at the customer ratings and pictures. That’s all you need to know.

                1. My cabinets are new, but if I ever have a project that pops up, I’ll keep it in mind.

    3. For a second I’d thought I’d accidentally clicked on my Instapundit shortcut…

      “A Pottery Barn associate”

    4. Thanks! I printed it.

      1. Well at least someone appreciated it!

        1. Link to a coupon for hookers, blow, and gold coins and you’ll be the most popular guy here.

          1. *Goes into the bowels of the internet looking for hooker discounts*

  7. For the first time in four decades, the Atlantic coast will be open for oil and gas exploration, courtesy a policy change announced by the Interior Department today.

    BUT OBAMA WON’T LET US DRILL HERE!!! BLUG! RANDPAULDERP!

    1. Oh, PB. I’ve decided to treat your posts as somebody’s attempt at comedy. I’m much happier that way. You keep doing your thing, man. Thanks for the entertainment value.

      1. They are comedy in that I laugh at how wrong you Peanuts are most of the time.

        OBAMA WON’T LET US DRILL HERE! is a perfect example.

        (US now #1 in crude oil production)

        1. Palin’s Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 4:42PM|#
          “They are comedy in that I laugh at how wrong…”

          Yeah, turd. In case you didn’t notice, the change has nothing to do with producing oil.
          Fuck you, 8%.

        2. And your boy Barry did his best to stop that.

          http://energycommerce.house.go…..-areas.pdf

          2009 Fed Land Oil Production: 1.76Mbpd
          2013 ” 1.66Mbpd

          Natural Gas?

          Overall, annual U.S. natural gas production rose by about four trillion cubic feet (tcf) or 19% since FY2009, while production on federal lands(onshore and offshore) fell by about 28%. Natural gas production on non-federal lands grew by 33% over the same time period.

          Asswipe.

        3. US now #1 in crude oil production

          All on private land.

          Production on Federal lands (and oceans) has actually dropped.

    2. You’re getting sadder.

    3. I do not think the criticism is that the administration allows no drilling or even no new drilling, but that he restricts drilling overall more than he should.

      1. He doesn’t. It is wingnut myth.

        The sole exception was when BP poisoned the Gulf. He put a temporary moratorium on NEW deep water drilling until they could prove they put adequate blow-out preventors in.

        1. How would you show that he does not restrict it ‘more than he should?’ People have different ideas about ‘should.’

          1. He doesn’t restrict it at all.

            Hell, he is opening up the East Coast and many Green types are pissed off because he approved sonic cannons too.

            The Peanuts believe the myths they read about on nutcase sites like Breitbart.

            1. “He doesn’t restrict it at all.”

              At all? That’s a pretty silly claim. I mean, ANWR. That’s how easy it is to show that claim wrong, I didn’t even need an actual word.

              1. New restrictions then.

                ANWR has been off limits forever.

                1. That’s a goalpost shift

                2. Palin’s Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 5:04PM|#
                  “New restrictions then.”

                  Lie, turd.

            2. God you’re a stupid lying fuck.

              http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..65867.html

              Interior Secretary Ken Salazar has rejected a Bush administration plan to open vast waters off the Pacific and Atlantic coasts to oil and gas drilling, promising “a new way forward” in offshore energy development including new wind projects.

        2. Palin’s Buttplug|7.18.14 @ 4:46PM|#
          “He doesn’t…”

          Go fuck your daddy, turd.

        3. He also opposes ANWAR and the keystone pipeline.

          And oil production from public lands has dropped.

    4. They haven’t permitted drilling yet you idiot.

    5. So the people who complained were wrong, because several years later, the thing they complained about was somewhat mitigated?

      1. Logic is not programmed into his derpular matrix.

  8. For those that missed it in the earlier Health Care thread:

    Fauxcahontas’ 11 Commandments of Progressivism

    SPOILER ALERT: Free stuff for everybody!

    1. Haha! That opening image. “Love me!”

    2. “We believe that Wall Street needs stronger rules and tougher enforcement, and we’re willing to fight for it.”

      Funny, I would think that if Wall Street needed or wanted that they would be lobbying for it. She doesn’t realize how much she comes across as a peevish schoolmarm, and how offensive that projection and needs-defining is to others.

    3. #12: We don’t know what the word “tenet” means, which means we incorrectly use it to refer to policy agenda.

      1. Progressivism has always been at war with Hobby Lobby.

    4. “We believe in science, and that means that we have a responsibility to protect this Earth.”

      Wut?

      1. “We believe in science, which is why we believe in Gaia worship!”

        1. What do you mean “we”, kemosabe?

      2. “I don’t know why you always have to be judging me, cause I only believe in science.”

    5. Dear Lord.

      I can no longer even digest these people.

      1. Just bite the heads off and spit them out, then. And hurry up, there are more every day.

    6. – “We believe that equal means equal, and that’s true in marriage, it’s true in the workplace, it’s true in all of America.”

      So I take it that Lizzie will vigorously oppose unequal practices such as alimony?

    7. We believe in science, and that means that we have a responsibility to protect this Earth

      We believe in non sequiturs, and that’s why SQUIRREL!

      1. Please do not summon Those Who Wreak Havoc.

        Please…

    8. We believe that students are entitled to get an education without being crushed by debt

      So is she going to get the government out of the student loan business?

  9. So, Fauxcahontas is trying to claim a new type of “native” membership?

    1. She’s going after the ‘stupid’ demographic.

    2. She advocates siouxan Wall St.

  10. Using a cellphone while driving has been banned in California for six years now, but it hasn’t shown signs of decreasing accidents.

    Poor friendless Californians.

  11. Balko had this nutpunch yesterday:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..f-witness/

    Seriously. How on earth are the judge, prosecutor, and every member of that grand jury not in jail?

    Also, for anyone who questions why police officers never seem to get indicted, that’s kind of the reason why.

    1. You forgot the cop who concealed the exculpatory evidence.

      1. He didn’t conceal it! He merely accidentally brought it home and forgot about it!

        (yeah, him too)

        1. “Oopsie!”

    2. There IS such a thing as evil towns; where everyone has a little of the devil in them.

  12. Fun Catholic Theology

    “With direct sterilization, sterility is chosen either as an end (sterility is the goal) or as a means (sterility is sought to bring about another goal, i.e. the health of a woman). Direct sterilization is ‘absolutely forbidden’ in Catholic institutions, because it is not ‘oriented to the integral good of the person.’ Catholics should never choose a sterilization procedure that is ‘direct.’ To do so freely and knowingly is a mortal sin.

    Indirect sterilization, on the other hand, is licit because it ‘has a directly therapeutic character’. Indirect sterilization addresses a present pathological condition in which part of the reproductive system is ‘seriously injured and poses an ‘immediate serious threat to the life or health of the mother.’…

    But what if part of the reproductive system does not itself present a risk but rather a future pregnancy poses a significant risk to the health of the mother? Often in such a situation medical practitioners recommend a hysterectomy or tubal ligation. Can a woman follow this recommendation to prevent a future pregnancy and in order to secure her health? The CDF answers plainly, ‘Negative,’…An ethical means of securing the health of the woman must be chosen. For example, the careful practice of periodic abstinence (NFP) may be embraced as an act of love for one’s spouse.”

    http://www.crisismagazine.com/…..ife-mother

    1. Thanks for that, Bo, but do please learn HTML tags.

      1. I’m thinking here you mean I could have just put the link into the heading? I can see that, but some people, I’m one, don’t like to click on links.

        1. There’s a tag called blockquote. It works really well and is easy to use.

        2. Well, I was thinking more of Italics or Block Quote which are simpler than embedding a link into the body text.

          1. Fair enough.

    2. I’m getting “sterilized” this summer.

      1. Said Pl?ya last summer.

        1. Well, there’s plenty of evidence that I didn’t.

          1. Luckily if you don’t follow through this time you’ll have baby stuff in your garage again!

    3. cool story, bro

    4. What’s their position on putting babies in septic tanks?

      1. I hope it’s not as ludicrous as this one

        1. So essentially, it’s ok to forswear using the equipment, but a mortal sin to impair the equipment even if the chance of future use of it imperils the mother.

          I used to think Catholics were hung up on sex, but it’s actually more specifically sex organs! Forget having a healthy sex life, what’s really important is keeping the runways open, even if you got a ‘closed, no trespassing’ sign on them.

          1. “*I’m* obsessed? *You’re* the one with all the dirty pictures!”

            http://www.bouldertherapist.co…..chach.html

            1. No rock videos about how all sex should be potentially procreative Eddie?

              I am disappoint

  13. Father walks in on man molesting his 11-year-old son. The molester’s mugshot tells us what happened next:

    http://www.wptv.com/news/state…..-frolander

    1. It’s too bad Picasso isn’t still alive to paint that perp’s face

      1. Even Picasso would have his work cut out for him. Some of those colors on that guy’s face I don’t believe could be reproduced using ordinary paint.

    2. “Asked if any weapons were involved, the father said “my foot and my fist.”

      This guy should never have to pay for his own beer for the rest of his life.

      1. Dad is definitely a hero, alright. If he’s ever publicly identified, I’m sure that such offers will come pouring in.

        Hey, take another look at that mugshot, is it just me, or is that guy’s face misshapen, more so than you’d expect from even severe swelling? I’m wondering if he doesn’t have a busted jaw . . .

  14. engaging in executions, rape, and forced child recruitment..Way to take a hard line

    PHRASING.

    1. We’re still doing that?

  15. For a magazine called Science

    The rage. The delicious rage. Oh god, it’s delicious.

    Australian researchers have condemned the move. The tax repeal is a “dereliction of duty with respect to the rights of young people and future generations,” says energy research expert Hugh Outhred of the University of New South Wales in Sydney. “The perfect storm of stupidity,” adds Roger Jones, a specialist in climate change risk and adaptation at Victoria University in Melbourne. Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a “complete disregard” for the science of climate change. “It’s hard to imagine a more effective combination of poor reasoning and bad policymaking.”

    1. The AGW cultists are seeing their house of cards collapsing, and they hate it. They were so close (at least in their minds) to getting the CONTROL they wanted. So close. And now it’s slipping through their fingers…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      1. ^This. Delicious.

      2. That this happened in Australia must really eat at them. Didn’t the Australian government produce some insane global warming website just a few years ago?

      3. Someone just took their tiger-repelling rock away, and they are *scared*!

      4. It sure seems that way. They’ve triple-dog-dared reality and come up short. My question is what is the next chicken-little moment? I saw something about some evidence that we might be going into a cooling trend–will they use that to reboot?

        1. Maybe. They overplayed this hand pretty badly. I think they’re going to drop the weather thing for a while. Who knows what the next apocalyptic “GIVE US CONTROL!!!” thing will be.

          1. I’m just curious what the next excuse DuPont will use to get automobiles to be forced into a new refrigerant will be.

      5. I know the difference between weather and climate, but today is the first July day in the 25 years that I’ve lived in Dallas that we’ve opened all the windows and turned the A/C off.

        1. Damn skippy. Pretty nice out, isn’t it?

        2. My state hit 100 and caught on fire.

    2. I guess “good reasoning and good policymaking” are supposed to ignore the actual effects of the law.

    3. Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a “complete disregard” for the sciencedoomsaying of climate changeGlobal Cooling/Global Warming/Climate Change/Climate Chaos.

      Fixed it for him. No charge, of course. I’m just a nice S.O.B. like that.

      1. Orrr…

        “..Scrapping the tax, he argues, demonstrates a “complete disregard” for poor reasoning and bad policymaking… “the science of climate change”.”

    4. The next asshole who uses “prefect storm” gets the hard-back book jammed up his or her ass.

  16. Elizabeth Warren made quite a splash at the progressivist Netroots Nation convention in Detroit yesterday. Then someone made a nauseatingly saccharine music video about it.

    Well fuck me.

    Also the Warren campaign should be ashamed of itself stealing the Ready for Hillary slogan like that.

    1. Jesse, you tease!

      1. Who said I was teasing?

  17. So which do you think sounds better?

    Chief Lieawatha or the classic Fauxcahontas?

    Tough call.

    1. Fauxcahontas is best. It can’t be improved upon.

      1. Fauxcahontas, FTW. She’ll never live that down and it will be a way to get people to ask on their own why she is called that, which is much more effective than constantly bringing that up.

        1. this

    2. Here’s a list made up from ones seen on Facebook and Twitter which I’ve posted before.

      Top Ten Elizabeth Warren Indian Names

      10. Little Pantsonfire

      9. Woman Who Loves Eater of Dogs

      8. Lie-a-watha

      7. Hoarder of Feathers Who Hates Feather Hoarders

      6. Sitting Bullsh*t

      5. Hunts at Whole Foods

      4. Running Joke

      3. Taxagawea

      2. Dances With Occupiers

      And the number one Elizabeth Warren Indian name:

      1. Fauxcahontas

      1. 5 and 2 made me laugh.

      2. I like running joke.

    3. Chief Shitting Bull

    4. “..The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say’s she doesn’t. That’s why I call her “Doesn’t Like Horses”. But, of course, she’s lying.”

  18. Black Captain America Saves Black Nerds Everywhere

    “It’s hard to be a black nerd at a comic book convention.
    Even among all the bright lights and C-list sci-fi stars and homemade costumes, you stand out. Especially among the homemade costumes. If you choose to cosplay as a black nerd, you find yourself with limited options. You can pick from among the small list of characters who actually match your race. Pretty much every black guy running around the convention floor is dressed like the Samuel L. Jackson-based Nick Fury…

    But the impossible just got a little more possible: Marvel released an announcement late Wednesday night that someone new would be taking over as that most patriotic of heroes, Captain America. The iconic shield is being passed from Steve Rogers, the white man who has played the part almost constantly since World War II, on to a black man: Sam Wilson, better known as the Falcon in Marvel’s pages. That’s right everyone: my president’s black. Now Cap is, too.”

    http://thinkprogress.org/cultu…..n-america/

    1. What about Green Lantern John Stewart?

      1. It would have to be changed to Black Lantern.

        1. Black Lanterns are actually zombies.

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Lantern_Corps

    2. You could also cosplay a white character. That’s what plenty of Asians do. (ditto Hispanic and Polynesians)

      But whatever. That’s nice.

    3. Well there is always:

      The Falcon – Sam Wilson’s original job
      Luke Cage, Power Man – Hero for Hire
      Blade
      Black Panther
      War Machine – Jim Rhoads
      Bishop
      Deathlok

    4. I’m fine with a black Captain America. But I think a femal Thor is ridiculous.

      1. But I think a female Thor is ridiculous.

        It nettled me at first, but the Vikings loved them some gender swap stories. At one point Mj?llnir was stolen and Heimdall and Loki convince Thor to dress up as a woman and marry ?rymr while pretending to be Freyja to steal it back. Hilarity ensued. I think Loki also bore children while in womanly form at one point.

        Besides the Marvel Thor gets his powers from the hammer. I don’t see why a woman wouldn’t get buffed while holding it.

        1. Who’s still reading this?

          Loki, shapechanged into a mare, was the mother of Odin’s horse, Sleipnir.

            1. Maybe that Mendoza fellow was on to something with his busting a nut up in that horse to make a horse-man baby.

              I’m suddenly rethinking my middle school era AOL handle that referenced Loki.

      2. The woman who takes up the hammer has not been named yet.

        I am hoping it is Marvel Universe’s version of actress Katheryn Winnick.

    1. There’s some question about all of this:

      http://althouse.blogspot.com/2…..isons.html

      1. You’d hope so.

    2. So proglodytes believe that black people are inferior to whites and asians and therefore need a boost in their grades?

      Doesn’t ANY black person find this incredibly insulting? I’m not black, but I would be extremely insulted if I was. Actually, I’m still insulted anyway. This is ludicrous!

    1. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE AGAINST GAY RIGHTS ACTIVISM & FATISM, YOU GENDER-OVERPRIVILEGED BROGRAMMER????

      I realize making fun of these people is the same as giving a retarded kid a swirlie. But man is it fun to give retarded kids swirlies.

      1. You gave yourself swirlies? You’re more flexible than I thought.

    2. PLEASE FUCKING STOP. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! today i’m literally a dogkin, so address me as “ze/zir/zes” & not “xe/xem/xyr”, you binary-overprivileged kyriarchist!!!!!!! CHECK YOUR MIDDLE CLASS PRIVILEGE!!!!!! now go away.<//blockquote

      It ends with a My Little Pony “U MAD?” gif. Well done.

      1. Can’t say the same for myself. I closed the brackets, damn it!

  19. Weekend old movie alert: Bad Day at Black Rock on TCM tomorrow afternoon @ 4:15 EDT.

    Classic “man comes to town” story, starring Spencer Tracy (as a one-armed man), Robert Ryan, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Marvin and Anne Francis.

    1. There’s also the hilarious “horror” movie The Wasp Woman tomorrow at noon ET.

      But yes, Bad Day at Black Rock is excellent.

  20. Everyone knows about Dan Bilzerian, right?

    1. No link to the video of him throwing the porn star off of his roof?

      1. And for the record, it was her fault she got hurt. If somebody is throwing you into a pool, DO NOT FLAIL ABOUT.

      2. Dan Bilzerian @DanBilzerian ? Jul 15

        Small tits are not fashionable

        ReplyReplied to 0 timesRetweetRetweeted 4,055 times4.1KFavoriteFavorited 5,842 times5.8K
        More

    1. If anyone works or goes to school with someone named Rainier, this is their lucky day. Clip that headline and go.

    2. Great, like I need another reason to worry about one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world that’s about 60 miles away. And with this clear summer weather, I can see the fucker every single day.

      1. You’ll be fine. Orting, on the other hand, will be fucked.

      2. I dunno, mudslides sound fun. I think you should surf it, ? la Peter Fonda in Escape from L.A..

      3. It tasks you!

        1. Rainier, you bloodsucker. You’re going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?

          1. My question is, when it blows, will people in Seattle be able to see it?

            1. Absolutely. If the air is clear you can see Rainier really well. It’s fucking massive.

              Now, its ash fallout might cause some problems…

              1. Do you guys usually have constant onshore breezes up there? The ash might go the other way like it did with Mt. St Helens.

                1. Not in the sound. On the actual Pacific shore, yes, nonstop (ever) onshore breezes. But not in the sound.

          2. Ranier will do far worse than kill you, Epi. It will hurt you. And it will go on hurting you. It shall leave you marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive! Buried alive!

    3. I read elsewhere that the 2011 Japanese earthquake may have seriously disturbed the ‘intestines’ of Mt. Fuji.


  21. 11:02 AM ET
    McCain: Had I won in 2000, Iraq War might not have happened

    If he had been president, McCain said, “I think I would have challenged the evidence with greater scrutiny.

    http://thelead.blogs.cnn.com/2…..-iraq-war/

    1. He’s just wanted to invade every country he’s ever heard mentioned since then.

    2. OK, this is funny.

      1. This is certainly the best link that PB has ever made. Maybe it is sentient.

        Really, bravo.

  22. I hear shrieking. Time to go.

    Fuck everyone! Have a great weekend! Even the trolls!

  23. “Dragging Israel before the International Criminal Court on accusations of war crimes is a non-starter, said a senior Palestinian official, because the Palestinians themselves are guilty of blatant war crimes.”

    http://www.israeltoday.co.il/N…..fault.aspx

  24. Speaking of anyone griefing about the latest Israel/Palestinian slapfest…

    …ask them if they remember when Hamas was elected, and what happened immediately afterward, and what most people at the time then considered to be ‘inevitable’.

    I’ve so far met 3 people who registered total-fail on all counts. Yet they seem content to have *strong opinions* about the issue, regardless.

    1. Oooh I remember hearing from TIME and other respectable mainstream opinion-setter that the responsibility of governance will force Hamas to act more responsibly and embrace great moderation. I guess they’re only attacking Israel ‘moderately’ often now.

      1. People were hoping the same for Likud too, with similar disappointing results I guess

        1. What a perfectly Botarded thing to say. How many suicide bombers has Likud ever used?

          1. Why use suicide bombers when you can use US made missiles? Easier to blow up kids on beaches that way!

            1. Grade A Botard

  25. Our underappreciated police forces work night and day to protect us from crimes. Like theft.

    Unless some guy is stealing the displays of prolife picketers, as happened in Jackson, Mississippi.

    (from Youtube)

    http://bit.ly/UgpaeQ

    The local news wants to remind you that the protesters are outside agitators from Ohio. Also that the muncipal code doesn’t allow displays on sidewalks. They didn’t mention whether the municipal code legalizes stealing.

    (from wapt.com)

    http://bit.ly/1rnFKrv

  26. Wisconsin Police Chief Tries to Get Tea Partier a Date; Hilarity Ensues

    Monroe County District Attorney Kevin Croninger told The Associated Press he plans to charge Town of Campbell Police Chief Tim Kelemen with misdemeanor unlawful use of a computerized communication system Thursday afternoon.

    Kelemen would face up to $1,000 in fines and 90 days in jail if convicted, but would still be able to stay on as police chief. Only those with felony convictions or misdemeanor convictions related to domestic violence are precluded from being police officers, according to the state Department of Justice.

    Of all the ways that cops can be petty, vengeful dickheads, this was the best he could come up with?

    1. A prosecutor plans to charge a western Wisconsin police chief with a misdemeanor for allegedly registering a tea party leader on gay dating, pornography and federal health care websites.

      There are gay-only health care sites now?

  27. “Hot felon” killed – wife arrested.

    http://www.huzlers.com/1-hour-…..lled-wife/

    1. Looks ain’t everything!

      1. Have to admit I fell for it, mostly ’cause I don’t have enough invested to care whether he’s dead.

    2. Not real.

    3. OK, I retract this story pending further confirmation. Sorry if I fell for a hoax.

      1. How many hot felons in the septic tank?

        1. I just cleared them out so you can use the facility for your nonprocreative rape dungeon.

          1. I suppose the difference between us is that I noted my error in less than 10 minutes, and apologized.

            1. That, and oh the one where yours was totally false and not just incorrect about a detail rather unrelated to the overall point…

              1. So I’m guessing you’re *still* not going to apologize?

                1. Skipped everything after the second and, huh?

                  1. So I’m guessing you’re *still* not going to apologize for the minor error about 800 dead babies in a septic tank?

                    It’s possible to apologize – I did it in under 10 minutes, and *I’m* an evildoer rape apologist. How much easier must it be for you!

          2. And commit a mortal sin? Nah, I’ll stick to Church approved use only, like all sex after marriage, which we know grants tacit consent from then on!

            1. Uh, ain’t nothing *tacit* about it, sweet cheeks.

              And you may recall the context of my remarks, with colleges policing the details of one-night stands involving unmarried students. I was suggesting they reinstate their parietal rules to deter extramarital intimacy.

              As to spousal *violence* (to which married people do *not* consent), that would be a matter for the real-world cops and courts to deal with, not a matter for the sandbox college “courts.”

              1. You were saying if they were. married they wouldn’t need expressions of consent, I guess marital rape doesn’t exist for you. But if you want to say you were really arguing for a return to a system much more offensive to freedom, be my guest (or would it only apply to hot felon students?)

                1. No, marital *violence* exists. Nor should it be a defense that the violence was related to sex. As I mentioned before, having marital rights doesn’t mean you can enforce them by violence.

                  I don’t think that parietal rules are all that offensive to freedom.

    4. I don’t understand non-Onion-like fake news sites, where it looks like a real article and not an obvious parody. Is it supposed to be funny?

  28. http://wonkette.com/554158/aut…..edly-again

    Surprise surprise.

    1. A Pittsburgh pastor who wrote a not-quite-bestselling book about his successful struggle to become a former gay has been arrested for sexually assaulting a teenaged boy. On the one hand, it looks like pretty strong evidence that attempts to pray away the gay just don’t take, but we’d also like to point out that, comes right down to it, the gay is a far less problematic issue here than the teenager-raping. Dare we even suggest that if Bishop Duane Youngblood of the “Higher Call World Outreach Church” had just settled down to being a happily gay man instead of trying to force himself to be straight, it’s entirely possible he wouldn’t have done nonconsensual sex to a teen who came to him for counseling? We don’t claim to be experts on this stuff.

      Really, his name is Youngblood?

      Oh, also, it’s probably worth mentioning that in 2006 Youngblood was accused of molesting a 15-year-old boy he was “counseling.” He was “sentenced to one year of intermediate punishment and seven years’ probation,” but somehow managed to continue running a church with an outreach ministry to youth, because? you know, First Amendment be damned, how for godssakes is that even legal?

      Ugh. Stop having sex with kids, people.

      1. sentenced to one year of intermediate punishment

        Hit him hard, but not TOO hard!

  29. Solve the gender wage gap

    There is a solution to the gender pay gap in Australia, and possibly the world. We can resolve it, and it won’t take 75 years, which is how long Oxfam believes the problem will spend fixing itself. No longer must we rend our national garments in shame, watching the gap figure hover around 17%.

    Here it is: we simply pay women more money. Whether we do this by reducing women’s tax burden, providing them with an income supplement, or allowing women to personally shake down their male colleagues until an appropriate amount of change falls from their pockets, I don’t mind. But it’s clear that sitting around furrowing our brows isn’t working, so it’s time to make some changes.

    1. This is some pure derp.

    2. God damn some people are idiots.

    3. If only anybody had ever thought of any of those things…

    4. I suppose it’s only fair that we let women claim themselves as children for the purposes of taxes.

    5. Just pay everyone a flat wage, and that’ll fix this illusory wage gap BS.

  30. Naturally, Obama waits until the Russians are losing to the Ukrainians to ask for a cease-fire.

    1. He was patiently waiting for all the noise to die down, so he could spring into action as the compassionate voice of reason… 2 months too late. What’s important is that he’s committed to doing “something”, and this.. is “something”!

  31. But reset.

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