Gun Control

Detroit Police Chief Lauds Second Amendment, Armed Citizens For Keeping Crime Down

It's nice to have a police chief who recognizes that people have a right to defend themselves.


James Craig
Detroit PD / Facebook

Big city police chiefs are notoriously supportive of gun control, but Detroit Police Chief James Craig has repeatedly offered praise for the Second Amendment and an armed citizenry. Craig thinks that several high-profile cases of citizens defending themselves against home invaders may have deterred would-be criminals in recent months. From The Detroit News:

Detroit has experienced 37 percent fewer robberies in 2014 than during the same period last year, 22 percent fewer break-ins of businesses and homes, and 30 percent fewer carjackings. Craig attributed the drop to better police work and criminals being reluctant to prey on citizens who may be carrying guns.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon," said Craig, who has repeatedly said he believes armed citizens deter crime. "I don't want to take away from the good work our investigators are doing, but I think part of the drop in crime, and robberies in particular, is because criminals are thinking twice that citizens could be armed.

"I can't say what specific percentage is caused by this, but there's no question in my mind it has had an effect," Craig said.

Some of that evidence is anecdotal, and it's obviously quite a short period of time. Still, it's nice to have a police chief who recognizes that people have a right to defend themselves—and are in many cases better suited to do so than the police.

For more on how regular citizens are filling in the gaps in a city with vast government service deficiencies, watch Reason TV's "Anarchy in Detroit."

NEXT: Dems Question Cost of Suit Over Obama Executive Overreach

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. “Like they had sour cream at Auschwitz.”

    I think that was sarc. Maybe sloopy.

    Best. Comment. This. Week. EVAR.

    1. I’ll take credit for that.

      1. Really?

        1. Am I misremembering? I am pretty sure I brought Auschwitz up.

          1. The quoted comment was still mine.

      2. I’ll give you half the credit since it was a reply to you.

        1. A collaboration? Deal!

  2. Hey, Tulpa. Here’s you’re “one positive article about cops” you demanded earlier. Of course, it’s not like this is the first time. Tulpa is a lying coward.

    1. “The Many Faces of Tulip”

      A seventy-part miniseries, sponsored by Tampax and Summer’s Eve.

      1. EEwww. I would have liked a trigger warning for that ‘not so fresh feeling’.

    2. Don’t worry, Tulpa can find a moronic and pedantic reason to dismiss anything. He’s highly competent at being a mendacious fuck with no social skills.

      1. He got quite good at lying by looking in a mirror and managing to live through the night.

        1. I wasn’t aware he was capable of being visible in a mirror. Aren’t vampires invisible in mirrors? Even just humor vampires?

          1. Not all things that suck are vampires.

            1. Once again, we come full circle to your mom.

              1. She says your penis is just as small, soft and broken as that bag of piss you call a soul.

                1. Bag?!?

                    1. Mason jar without a lid.

  3. Sorry, what were we talking about? Oh – The D! Represent, yo.

  4. Some of that evidence is anecdotal, and it’s obviously quite a short period of time.

    More or less anecdotal then school shootings?

  5. Krystal Ball from MSNBC apparently has difficulty listening to what other people say.

    1. Not in the job description to actually listen.

    2. Although it does raise the question of what sort of screening process MSNBC uses to vet its “experts”.

      Do you just need to call in and say you’re an expert? If so, moar of this pleez.

      1. All you have to do is have the correct politics.

        Principals, not principles.

    3. Not the first time she has been punked. With a name like that…….

    4. Holy shit. That’s her actual name and she’s not a porn star/stripper.

        1. But.. but.. that wasn’t an Onion article…

  6. Vox has some difficulty with their facts.

    As you can see on the above map, Gaza is separate from the other major Palestinian population center — the big green blob to the east of Israel, the West Bank. They’re connected only by a bridge that Israel limits traffic on.

    This bridge doesn’t exist.

    1. That would be a pretty long bridge

    2. He actually thought that there was a physical bridge some 20-30Km long over Israel?
      I could look it up, but WIH is VOX?

      1. It was founded by Ezra Klein and employs Matthew Yglesias.

        That’s about all you need to know.

        1. I looked it up. You are correct; the reporting on the invasion is nothing other than a casualty list of Pals. Nothing about how or why it’s in process, nothing about the evac warning, etc.
          And that’s a site that is supposed to ‘explain’ the news?
          Pretty sure it’s ‘all the news that’s fit to warp!’

    3. That’s dumber than Yglesias wondering why Miami doesn’t expand to the west.

  7. A glimmer of hope.

    Maybe the city council will similarly decide that people are more prosperous when they aren’t regulated to death.

    Sometimes it takes a total collapse of the state for people to recreate the fundamentals.

  8. Just softening us up for nut punch Friday aren’t you?

    1. If tomorrow is worse than today was, I’m wearing a cup.

  9. I now have one nice thing to say about Detroit. Guess that’s a start.

  10. A good PD chief? IN DETROIT? Headline: Snowball survives, thrives, and grows in hell.

    If this guy mounted a police-back coup d’etat to take over Detroit, I would not be against that.

  11. Why did I have to scroll down to the next article. I should have just left after this one.

  12. The recent Anthony Bourdain episode in Detroit was pretty interesting. Apparently they have a LOT of fires due to all the abandoned buildings.

    1. That episode was probably one of his best. It made me want to go around Detroit and see all the *beauty* in that urban decay and overgrown vegetation, as long as I can carry, of course.

      1. No. His best was when he went to Kansas City because admidst a shit season he was there when the Chiefs knocked the Packers from the ranks of the undefeated. That would be the one game I missed watching that season cuz I was on a honeymoon in Mexico. Damn I make some stupid decisions.

        Although on second thought, that was largely responsible for Romeo Crennel getting the HC job. So maybe that was his worst.

    2. Is his new show as good as No Reservations?

      Speaking of travelish shows, I miss insomniac.

      1. Insomniac was the best, but I think it nearly killed Dave Atell.

    3. The Detroit Fire Department just watches them burn. Kind of defeats the point of paying fireman. There are dozens of videos on youtube of houses burning in Detroit, with the FD doing absolutely nothing.

      1. It’s helping the economy.

        Broken windows theory…

      2. It seems counter intuitive, but in Detroit, where home prices have dropped to a few thousand dollars, it might actually make the home owner better off.

        The house is vacant anyway and vacant homes don’t weather well. If the home were to be demolished, that would cost money. The fire performs the demolishing for free. The FD just makes sure that neighboring homes don’t catch on fire.

        The strange but logical economics of broken down cities.

  13. The lady in Detroit owns a can of mace
    Got pissed at my brother so she sprayed it in his face
    Now what could make her think that way?
    What could make her act that way?

    She’s just a right wing pigeon from outer space
    Sent here to destroy the human race
    She don’t give a damn about you or me
    She just buys guns and watches TV

    1. Jesus Christ, a fatality rate of 59%. That’s insane. Even the 1918 flu epidemic had a max fatality rate of 20%, probably more like 10%.

      That’s scary shit.

      1. I had a discussion about bleeding viruses with an MD years back, specifically re: the death rate.
        People die at those rates in Africa since the medical care stinks. Under decent care, the rate drops significantly (it’s been a while so I’m not gonna post a number from memory) to the extent that he was more concerned with other contagions.

        1. I believe that’s true if you consider the scenario of Ebola coming here via a Patient Zero through traditional means. That is, it would be easy to nip in the bud. A weaponized Ebola, with many simultaneous infections, might have the ability to overwhelm the medical infrastructure of a major city. Again, note that what’s driving the outbreak in West Africa is the breaking of quarantines by superstitious and violent mobs.

          1. It’s possible, but it seems like the dirty bomb that’s been ‘a snap to make; we’re bound to get one real soon’.
            I’m betting on fusion.

            1. I don’t believe a non-state actor could successfully weaponize Ebola.

              1. Also, Ebola is such an effective killer, it limits itself.

    2. Why am I learning about this for the first time at H&R?


      1. Apparently, West Africa is flyover country.. unless you’re fundraising for the UN.

        1. For UN types it’s also one of the many Pedophilia Playgrounds

    3. Yep. Source of infection are fruit bats, monkeys, or pigs. Men who catch it and survive can then transmit it sexually for months. Symptoms don’t show for up to three days after infection.

      This particular strain has a mortality rate of 59%, but some ebola outbreaks have had as high as 90%. There is no treatment, no vaccine.

      This outbreak looks bad. That shit could really get out of hand. Maybe the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

    4. You should read The Hot Zone. For those unaware, Ebola made it to the U.S., once upon a time.

      1. Putting that on the amazon wish list.

      2. That strain was airborne but could not infect humans if my memory is correct.

  14. DJ Assault is from Detroit.

    He wrote this song.

    1. I also loved his “the limitations of Kant’s Epistemology.”

      1. Not to mention his Prolegomena to a Theory of Booty.

      2. In many ways the limitations of Kant’s epistemology were technical (i.e., he didn’t have access to the tools of modern neuroscience) rather than theoretical.

        –DJ Assault

  15. Huckabee, GOP Potential Front Runner?

    “When you think of the 2016 Republican campaign for president, who do you think of? Chris Christie? Jeb Bush? Rand Paul?

    How about Mike Huckabee?

    A new chart from Gallup shows why Huckabee — often regarded as a potential candidate but not among the top tier — should be taken seriously as a prospective 2016 contender. He has a higher net favorability rating (that is positive views minus negative views) tham any of the other potential Republican candidates Gallup tested.”…..4&hpid=z12

    1. That doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that he hasn’t held a fucking office in a decade, right?

      People who hold offices tend to get more negative pub from the opposing team.

    2. Which is meaningless because no one’s been attacking him for years since he’s just been hosting TV shows. The instance he reenters politics he will get gutted and will end up with approximately 10% of the vote in the Republican primaries.

      I’m calling it right now: Scott Walker.

      1. I can see that happening, or another good governor. We focus on Rand and Cruz and the like a lot so it blinds us.

        If Huckster gets the nom I will throw in with Hillary no joke.

        1. While I’ll NEVER vote for Hillary, there is an equal chance I’d vote for Huckleberry.

  16. Legalizing Prostitution Said to Lower STDs, Rape

    “For decades, few people noticed that legislators in Providence had deleted crucial language from Rhode Island state law in 1980. It wasn’t until a 2003 court case that police, to their chagrin, discovered they couldn’t prevent prostitutes and their customers from engaging in commercial exchange.

    For the next six years until legislators corrected their error, the oldest profession was not a crime in Rhode Island — and public health and public safety substantially improved as a result, according to a new working paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research. The statewide incidence of gonorrhea among women declined by 39 percent, and the number of rapes reported to police in the state declined by 31 percent, according to the paper.”…..y/?hpid=z7

    1. So, things got better until they fixed it.

    2. What happened to rape and gonorrhea rates in the rest of the country at the same time?

      The reason I ask is because I have a hard time believing that enough people are prostitutes that its legalization would cause a 39% drop in STD rates and a 31 percent drop in rape rates.

      1. They were also lowering. But even when taking that into account, it ends up having an effect. Reason covered it earlier this week.

  17. Anybody know who FYTW is? Is it Randian?

    1. I think Randian’s current iteration is The Tone Police

      1. So who is FYTW? New guy or retread? He’s a lawyer. And, at least tonight, an asshole.

        I hate not knowing who I’m arguing with. I don’t get why people change their handles all the time.

        1. Because I don’t want people knowing where I’m from.

        2. Normally I’d run a search to see when the handle first started popping up, but I’m not sure how to isolate the instances of his handle from instances of it being used as an acronym (which started in its current iteration in July 2012)

          sage|7.6.12 @ 4:14PM|#|?|filternamelinkcustom

          They don’t have an ideal temperature because it has nothing to do with that. It’s about power, control, and FYTW.

  18. Indonesian atheist who served a prison sentence for defending his beliefs……html?_r=0

  19. Follow-up on a story Reason covered last year –

    The atheist conscientious objector who was initially told she couldn’t be a citizen unless she joined a pacifist religious group, then won her battle for naturalization, speaks to Houston Humanists:…..her-story/

    1. Who are you, and what have you done with our Eddie?

      1. Everyone is allowed a crisis of faith.

        1. “In all his activity a man is bound to follow his conscience in order that he may come to God, the end and purpose of life. It follows that he is not to be forced to act in a manner contrary to his conscience.”


      2. For goodness’ sake, I’ve been posting these atheist tidbits for a while now.

        Religious freedom interests me, even for infidels like you folks.

        1. But atheism has nothing to do with religion.

          *pulls pin, tosses grenade, ducks*

          1. Good one – I’d say that there generally isn’t a generic “atheism” any more than there’s a generic “theism.”

            Theists don’t define their religious identity as “theist,” but as Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians, etc.

            Atheists, from the religious statement, would identify themselves as Marxists, Objectivists, nonreligious libertarians, etc.

            1. I’d put atheists in one of two camps. Those who don’t care what others believe and assholes, like PB, who think they need to change everyone into believing what they do.

              1. Atheists and anti-religionists. Funny thing about anti-religionists. They tend to worship government.

        2. But seriously, do you believe a man must be religious to think killing is wrong?

          1. Dear Lord, I’m *defending* the atheists here! Defending!

            1. That’s why religious freedom is more than the right to go to a house of worship once a week, or stay home instead.

              It’s the right to act on your beliefs, unless there’s a compelling government interest in suppressing your action, an interest which cannot be achieved through less restrictive means.

            2. No, I just mean that’s obviously what those that denied the atheist conscientious objector citizenship were saying, and was wondering your take on it.

              1. OK, sorry, I think they were wrong. The precedents, as they were required to acknowledge, was in favor of the atheists.

                The law provides – and I agree – that a moral view which basically occupies the same place in your life as a traditional religion occupies in a traditional believer’s life is totally kosher – and so an atheist conscientious objector has the same rights as, say, a Quaker objector.

                1. By that logic, could they also refuse to participate in social security, Obamacare or federal taxation?

                  I’m not making a judgement, it’s a sincere question.

                  1. Yes and no – *some* religious people are exempt from payroll taxes under Social Security, but not all of them – these are certain groups which reject the whole concept of insurance.

                    *Some* people, like Hobby Lobby, are exempt from *some* parts of Obamacare.

                    In short, it depends on whether they have a powerful enough reason to override religious freedom.

                    1. nb – I *know* SS isn’t insurance.

                    2. these are certain groups which reject the whole concept of insurance.

                      Like orthodox Muslims.

                    3. In short, it depends on whether they have a powerful enough reason to override religious freedom.

                      Who is “they” in this instance? Because if it’s the atheist, I don’t understand how it could be the case since any religious person claiming a religious objection to any of those is required to show that they have always held those beliefs, which typically means they have to have belonged to a particular faith for a considerable period of time and also show that faith’s historical objection to the government program in question.

                      How could an atheist effectively do that to the government’s standards?

                    4. Well, my understanding is that, while holding the same beliefs over a lifetime certainly helps show your sincerity, a new convert, if she shows the sincerity of his conversion, can also prevail.

                      In the case of that conscientious objector lady, after much hemming and hawing, the immigration people finally accepted that she had sincere moral scruples against bearing arms. Apparently, this was based on her personal statement and probably some backing from friends who attested to her sincerity.

                    5. Oh, and some help from a Congressman, a Tea Partier by her account, so I’m guessing he was some kind of fundy.

                    6. In all likelihood, they just let her have her way because it was a pain in the ass they didn’t want to deal with any longer.

                      Well, my understanding is that, while holding the same beliefs over a lifetime certainly helps show your sincerity, a new convert, if she shows the sincerity of his conversion, can also prevail.

                      But she’s not “converting” to an established religion or belief structure within a religion, like Quakerism. I just don’t think the FedGov would let that pass or else you’d have people doing this all the time. And if that happened, their entire control of the population through taxation would be out the window.

                    7. They rarely let people out of paying taxes; Congress gave payroll tax exemptions to a very small group of sects like the Amish. This is unusual.

                      Taxes are like the place where the government is *least* likely to care about your conscientious scruples, AFAIK.

                    8. “In all likelihood, they just let her have her way because it was a pain in the ass they didn’t want to deal with any longer.”

                      There’s kind of an overlap with conscientious objectors in that regard.

                    9. I’d be willing to bet that about half of the objectors out there not affiliated with a long-established religious group that has established objector status with the government, not that I even know how many claim the status , are arbitrarily denied objector status and half are arbitrarily awarded objector status.*

                      Because if there’s anything consistent about the government, it’s their arbitrary nature.

                      *i hope that tortured sentence makes some sense.

                    10. “Who is “they” in this instance?”

                      The government itself.

                      Which is of course a problem since the government has a bias in its own favor. Which is why it keeps erring *against* freedom of all kinds.

                    11. The government itself.

                      Then my whole comment was wasted. Fuck.

          2. But seriously, do you believe a man must be religious to think killing is wrong?

            I don’t know a single religious person that thinks they have to.

            1. Lucky you. I don’t think most people run around thinking it, but they certainly end up backed into a corner when they start talking about how without the foundation of God non-believers end up tumbling head over heels into moral relativism.

              They then start pointing out how many people communism a secular/materialistic ideology has killed (which is fair) and sputter about how the people in charge of the Crusades were not really Christians.

              But like I said, I don’t think it’s a base belief people have so much as a conclusion they inexorably come to when they have to argue that an atheist doesn’t have a true foundation for their beliefs. I doubt it’s a very large percentage of believers who are willing to stand by their arguments to that point and I generally chalk it up to there being a generous handful of idiots in any group of people.

              1. Just because someone is a non-believer doesn’t mean that religion has still not contributed to what are considered the moral standards of their society.

                I guess we’d have to find a closed society that is irreligious and has been for several hundred or thousand years to see what would ultimately become their moral code. And I can’t think of one.

                It would be an interesting experiment for a future society to conduct when we start colonizing planets.

            2. Sloopy,
              You need to get out more. The ‘you can’t be moral without a god’ trope gets more airplay than a Beatles tune.

              1. You can’t, but you *can* be moral without *believing* in God. In my view, He gives everyone, atheists included, knowledge of the moral law. Which at least means we know if we’re doing wrong.

                1. “He gives everyone, atheists included, knowledge of the moral law. Which at least means we know if we’re doing wrong.

                  Yeah, that ol’ skydaddy and his unicorns are, well……………..

              2. Meh. Maybe I just haven’t spent more than a few minutes with anybody so religiously smug in so long that I had forgotten about them.

                And I’m pretty religious.

              3. The ‘you can’t be moral without a god’

                And yet, around 370 million Buddhists have managed to make it 2557 years without devolving into a mob of serial murder-rapist-cannibals.

                Imagine that.

                1. But isn’t Buddhism more of a philosophy than a religion?

                  1. While all sects of Buddhism deny the existence of a creator god, the Mahayana do encourage the devotional worship of bodhisattvas like Avalokiteshvara or the Amidha Buddha.

                    1. I don’t know a lot about Buddhism, so is that a yes or a no?

                    2. For the Mahayana, I’d say no. We definitely express devotion to beings whom we believe are greater than ourselves. Just that those beings aren’t immortal, nor are they necessarily omnipotent.

                      But then again, there is Zen.

                    3. We definitely express devotion to beings whom we believe are greater than ourselves. Just that those beings aren’t immortal, nor are they necessarily omnipotent.

                      So, you guys are a lot like Obama voters then?

                      I KEED! I KEED!

                    4. The difference is that due to the power of placebo, the Medicine Buddha is actually an effective form of healthcare access.

                    5. I was talking to a Jesus freak (term of affection) I worked with about the Yoga workout on P90X. He told me he could never do that workout because of his religious beliefs.

                      What can you say? Just sort of smiled and changed the subject.

                    6. I have a religious objection to squats.

                    7. You have a “runner’s build”, right?

                    8. He told me he could never do that workout because of his religious beliefs.

                      A couple girls I studied with in China this summer spouted similar excuses about praying at a various temples (including the Lama Temple in Beijing). I tried to argue that God doesn’t care where you pray to him; he’s probably just glad you’re talking!

                    9. Did they not realize that they could visit a historical temple without praying?

                2. Buddhists have managed to make it 2557 years without devolving into a mob of serial murder-rapist-cannibals.

                  Except in Rohingya or Sri Lanka during the ’80s.

          3. Killing is not wrong. Murder is wrong.

  20. Wonder where dunphy has been.…..lestation/

    1. I wonder if this guy will get 30 days if convicted like the Colorado cop I posted a story about earlier today that physically tortured a girl for years and admitted it.

    2. Yeah, but by looking so much like Morgan Fairchild, that 7-year-old was asking for it.

      1. ::clapping::

  21. Another, similar story from a few months back:…..ip-to-move


    A touching story of second chances.

    And by “second chances,” I mean the second chance a cop gave another cop to get pulled over for drunk driving in the same night. I mean, I’m sure there’s tons of dashcam footage back at the station of him letting “civilians” walk on drunk driving without ordering a FST because he “thought they would get a ride home.”

    1. I’d say the cop who was at twice the legal limit will be looking for a second chance, but he won’t even require that as he is still on the force as a dispatcher even though he is not allowed to drive.

    2. I got away with drunk driving once. After crashing a car. My stepfather sold cars to the police department, and I was living with him at the time. So when they ran my ID, the officer in charge recognized the address and instructed the officer to “Go easy” on me. He gave me a couple simple roadside tests which I passed, and nothing else happened. So I know there is a double standard, because I’ve been on both sides of it.

      1. I’ve never been pulled over after drinking and been given a FST. I dodged many bullets over the years (even if I wasn’t able to dodge that horse in Puerto Rico at 3 a.m.).

        I haven’t gotten behind the wheel with so much as two beers in my belly in at least 10 years. Because for every story of someone catching a break, there’s 50 stories out there of cops massaging breathalyzer numbers in order to lock someone up after two pops in 3 hours.

        1. Like I said, I’ve been on both sides. Haven’t gotten behind the wheel with more than a drink in a decade myself, but I used to be, well, be less responsible.
          I remember one time I was a passenger and the driver had been drinking (as had I). I was like twenty at the time. This was the time the cop lovingly whispered into my ear “Give me one reason. I’m begging you. You know I want to. In front of all these people. Please. Give me one reason.” When we got back to the annex he had the driver blow into the machine over and over and over and over. Until enough alcohol had accumulated in the machine to give the desired result.
          Like I said, I’ve seen both sides.

          1. My buddy, 56, successful businessman, pillar of the community, just got nailed for 2 glasses of wine. The cop knew him. Still drug him in. .08 Charged him.

            They are ALL assholes.

            1. If,they didn’t do a FST, he’s got half a chance.

              Of course, he’s looking at having to spend $4-5k to do so.

              And yes, they’re all assholes.

              1. The judge cut him some pretty big slack. The judge, mind you, not the cop who knew him.

                He’s fine, as long as he doesn’t get another for x (5?, 10?) years.

                1. The judge cut him some pretty big slack treated him like a decent human being.


          1. That people in that guy’s entourage are really brave – defying the confining stereotype that black people have rhythm.

          2. What the hell? Neither of those girls turned all the way around!

            1. They only do that in Mahayana Buddhism. This is a Theraveda Buddhist video.

                1. I bet you want me to say that isn’t good religious music?

                  It’s Palestrina compared to some of these –


  23. Is anyone here from Guam, the Virgin Islands, American Samoa, etc?

    You lucky bastards!

    “The Obama Admin Just Exempted US Territories From Obamacare…

    “The territories will be exempted from guaranteed coverage, community rating, single risk pools, rate review, the medical loss ratio, and essential health benefits.”…..obamacare/

    1. Maybe he was afraid of every person on Guam needing to go to the one hospital on the island, which would obviously cause it to tip over.

    2. Weird. I don’t remember congress voting on that.

      1. Obama had to take matters into his own hand because apparently Congress,was too busy passing the “Re-enslave blacks and rape all women bill” (HR 14-666).

        1. At least that’s what I heard MSNBC say when they reported on it.

        2. This is the second time I’ve laughed out loud at one of your comments in this thread.

        3. Can you explain the sour cream thing? I missed it.

          P.S. How were drinks at Chow? I didn’t want to mention it on Facebook (because I have elderly relatives there), but I was so drunk at that dinner that I don’t remember that much after about halfway through the dinner. The picanha was really salty, so I kept slamming down whiskeys. Stupid thing to do at an expensive meal….

          1. Somebody posted a “Placenta Helper” picture and I made some comment about Auschwitz and sour cream and sarcasmic said the aforementioned quote. I wish I could find the thread. It was earlier this week.

            I only had a couple drinks there. Two Jack and Cokes and they were quite strong. My phone was dying and Banjos was getting off soon so I had to roll. I only wish I had had the drinks before I had the conversation with my son a few feet from Bernie Sanders a little earlier.

            1. I wish your son had punched him in the face. (he’s under 18, he’ll walk scott free)

            2. Just because I’m in a searchy mood: Your sour cream thread with sarc.

  24. A movie reviewer who seems to be missing the point of Hollywood –

    “However, after watching [the movie *Lucy*], I actually am starting to have some misgivings, and can only hope that there will be a little more to the movie than just the title character [played by Scarlett Johansson] running around shooting everything that moves.”…..nal,manual

      1. I’m fine with hearing it from Scarlett.

      2. When I first heard Morgan Freeman say that in the trailer, my eyes rolled audibly. They sounded like steel cannonballs on concrete.

        1. I’m also fine with hearing it from Morgan Freeman.

        2. It seriously makes me angry. Doesn’t anyone find it the least bit morally wrong to produce a movies (there was also Limitless a couple years ago) based on utter falsehoods?

          1. It’s just lazy writing. What the screenwriters are telling the audience is that are either too lazy or too untalented to think of an original idea for why Scarlet Johansson gets super powers.

            I hate movies that show such utter contempt for the audience that they don’t think they have to try and impress us.

          2. Nobody ever makes Sci-Fi/Fantasy stories based on utter falsehoods! I seriously don’t understand, all super power origin stories are unoriginal and retarded. Either the movie will be good or it won’t.

            But if ya’ll are stuck up on this point, just watch Hanna, which is awesome (and has the totally original origin story of government agents experimenting with dna to create super soldiers, nobody has done that!)

  25. So I read that article about Millenials supposedly supporting Hillary Clinton. All I can say is that the most politically active people my age would vote for fucking Caligula if he had nice things to say about gay people and women.

    1. That’s unfair – what if Caligula had an “R” next to his name?

      1. I think it was rated X.

        1. Caligula X?

          ” We didn’t land in that orgy. That orgy landed on us!”

  26. Also, phone interview tomorrow. Other than describing myself (easy-going, unflappable, rational, compassionate), what other things do they tend to ask about?

    I’m already thinking of harrowing customer service stories to tell but I’m concerned if they ask (like I’ve been asked before in interviews) weird things like what I like to do in my spare time. Not sure if commenting here is an acceptable answer.

    1. What is the job for?

      1. Fraud analyst for Bank of America in Phoenix. Which is to say I would just call people and inquire about potentially fraudulent activity on their account.

        I’ve mentioned it a few times this week.

        1. I dumped BofA Visa because their algorithm was too sensitive. I buy a couple of songs off of iTunes, and then my Visa doesn’t work when I’m checking out at the grocery store. It happened 5 times last year. I told them to call me IMMEDIATELY if they are putting a hold on my card, and they never do. I average over $100K a year on that Visa, so you would think that they would listen to what the fuck I say, but no.

          Now, I’m using AMEX, and BofA called me to see why I wasn’t charging much anymore. They can suck it.

        2. But about you:
          You might want to say something about being able to connect and sympathize with people without ever having to meet them in person. Being charming over the phone is an important skill.

          1. That’s very true and I’ll be sure to mention that. From their website I can glean that they expect associates to ‘grow’ and develop in the course of their career with them, so I’ll probably have to identify what areas I want to grow the most in.

            Trying to think of a way to phrase that.

            1. To prepare, you should watch Girl 6 several times a day.

            2. so I’ll probably have to identify what areas I want to grow the most in.

              As genial as the conversation feels, it’s still not going to be appropriate to tell them it’s your penis.

              1. My pen is mightier than the sword, thank you very much.

    2. “Not sure if commenting here is an acceptable answer.”

      Heck no. You’d be better off saying you like to drink beer and shoot the cans off the top of fences.

      1. Or shoot cans off the top of women and children.

    3. Make sure to let them know you have people,skills.

    4. what other things do they tend to ask about?

      If you were a tree…

      Might want to check for interview intell on line for that particular company. They all tend to ask the same questions over and over and sometimes an industrious interviewee will post them.

      Why do you want to work for us?

      and the biggie…

      What can you tell us about our company?

      1. Those are givens. They’ll also probably ask why you think you are the most qualified for the position and what you think your greatest strength and greatest weakness is. They love to ask that and watch,people squirm.

        I assume this is an interview with an HR staffer? Because if it’s,with the person you’ll be working for, it’ll be different. But I don’t think many banks do that.

        1. I’m assuming they delegate all that to HR. In any case, I absolutely hate to talk about myself but with preparation I can do alright.

          My greatest strength is not getting rattled during stressful situations and being able to analyze a situation calmly (actually very true). My great weakness is perhaps a tendency to focus too much on a single problem in my zeal to make things just right.

          1. Don’t tell them that’s your greatest weakness! They’re looking for a volume call taker is,my guess, so,you don’t want,to give the impression that you’ll delve too deep,into,issues. They have a fraud department and forensic investigators for that stuff.

            Tell them it’s your lack of adventure or something. Tell them “you like to be stable and help people but you’d like to take more risks in your personal life…like move to Phoenix.” That would be lighthearted and tell them you’re serious about the relocation as well.

            1. You might also want to describe yourself as a good salesman. Think of the fraud department as selling a product that people don’t want. Are you good at selling that product? Some people are going to be pissed to receive a call from you, because it can be really fucking inconvenient. How do you make them accept your help? Each person requires a unique approach…

              (Short answer. convince customers that your help is much better than the alternative: losing money)

              1. I’m not, but okay, that’s probably true.

                I hate imposing anything on people. I have the Silver Rule ingrained in my personality.

                1. I’m not, but okay, that’s probably true.

                  I hate imposing anything on people.

                  Then this,probably isn’t the job for you.

              2. I thought Fraud Analysts were the ones who called you up to double check that a charge was valid, not salesmen?

                1. That’s how the recruiter explained it to me. I suppose I might have to take a moment on a call to upsale some additional fraud protection product for their account but it wouldn’t be the primary goal of my job.

                  And I’m truly only interested in this job as a means to an end. It pays comparatively well and I can live near kibby. I’m sure in a year I can find something more suited to me.

                  1. I traveled to multiple states all the time and often made more than one flight a day. I used to get calls all the time from these guys. They’re just checking to make sure the card is being used by the cardholder..especially if there is a,lot,of pattern charging like multiple fuel fill ups in a short period of time or charges in multiple locations in a short period of time, which is why I got the calls.

                    That’s why I said to downplay the “problem solving” thing. They won’t care about that at all. You’re just gonna make,them think you will not hit,your call volume targets. You want to give them a negative they won’t give a fuck about or one that will intrigue the next interviewer in a lighthearted way. That’s why I said what I did above. It’s innocent to this job but at the same time, you’re overcoming it by applying. It’s a gold-plated answer, trust me.

                    1. I used to get those calls all the time too. After my card was frozen. The person calling usually got an earful from me.

                      Traveling is the worst possible time to have a freeze on the card, which is why I always carry 3 from different banks.

                    2. I hated the calls until,I got,a,legit,one. Somehow my card got,cloned and was being used at truck stops all the way to St George, UT. They went through about $8k in a 8 hour stretch before they caught it and hit,me,up. And the bank was really good about it too.

                      Of course, this was Wachovia, pre-WF merger. I cringe what it would be like now.

                    3. Now you know to stay off of the Eastern European scat porn sites.

                      I’ve never had a legitimate breech of any of my credit card accounts, but I have had them frozen over a dozen times.

                2. They are. But a way to think of it is that they are selling you something that you don’t want.

                  1. Every time I get a call from Fraud, I’m pissed. Some of the reps on the phone handle it well, a lot of them don’t. I don’t want to ever receive the phone call because it’s usually bullshit, but sell me on it.

                    1. Well I guess I just have a different attitude then. I find those calls to be the least annoying of any customer service call. They are literally making sure I don’t get fucked. And the flip side of calling ahead for travel/calling with issues when travelling have always been the easiest and efficient ones I’ve made.

                    2. On a credit card, I don’t get fucked. The bank does. They are protecting themselves, and BofA goes a little bit too far. Even when I call ahead, they manage to fuck up. I’ve had the card frozen 3 times on vacation. The worst was in the Bahamas, even after I called ahead 3 times. I had my card frozen while I was in the lobby of Atlantis, where I didn’t even have phone service. I had to buy a disposable cell to call the bank, and the phone call came out to $8 a minute. Meanwhile, my extended family couldn’t eat meals at the hotel, and I looked like a deadbeat. Believe me when I say that it took a true professional to calm me down on that phone call.

                    3. I guess I’m some kind of weirdo who’s never gotten bad customer service from my bank.

                    4. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don’t have a BofA Platinum Rewards Card.

                      I switched to AMEX and couldn’t be happier with the customer service. 6% cash back on groceries certainly doesn’t hurt either.

                3. Maybe salesmanship isn’t the perfect term to describe it. It might be more along the lines of expectations management. I’ve delivered incredibly bad news to people over the years, and I can actually get them to thank me for it sometimes. Employers pay big bucks for that kind of skill set.

                  1. What they’ll teach us in training notwithstanding, I just view it as a bank’s way of ensuring you aren’t getting ripped off.

                    Like you said, just remind them it’s a thousand times worse to lose your money and go through that process than to waste a few minutes of your time chatting with me about your account.

          2. Good answer. Your biggest flaw must always stem from your desire to do right.

            I’m sure they hear this bullshit all the time, but it’s the correct answer.

      2. He should ask about their vacation and sick leave policies immediately.

    5. Tell them that your “greatest weakness” is “putting up with assholes like you.”

      1. That is a strength.

  27. Now I’m not one to jump on the ‘Obama is Insignificantly Bellicose’ bandwagon, but just what the hell kind of response is this?

    Do they not realize how absurd that looks?

    1. A lot of mockery, and then there’s this:
      “I’m proud to be identify as African and bring Nigerians together to speak one voice”

      Ummm, yeah, it’s not like Nigerians have other shit to worry about right now…

      1. Is he so fucking stupid,that he thinks that’s anything but an insult,to,Africans in general and Nigerians specifically?

        It’s,the equivalent to “I’m proud to identify as Asian and bring all South Koreans together to speak as one voice.”
        “I’m proud to identify as European and bring all Belgians together to speak as one voice.”

          1. I’m confused. I took the above comments to mean that they came from the WH.

            Fucking twitter. It’s the dumbest idea since the Windows 8 interface.

            1. The original one from Serious Man is from the state department.

              1. Ok, so who is the chick HM posted ahead of me? Was he clarifying who posted the Africa-Nigeria tweet or what the fuck?

                Fuck it. I don’t care. It either came from a retard in our government,or a retard activist. Either way, they’re not worth any more of my time.

                1. It’s a reply tweet to the state department lady. An even bigger non sequitur tweet than the Israel one I posted below. I have no idea wtf she’s on about.

                2. State department posts to twitter with #UnitedForUkraine. A lot of the comments mock it. But the one I posted was from a Nigerian woman who drank the Kool Aid.

        1. We’re almost at an hour and still nobody caught the joke i inserted into that comment.

          1. The fact that Belgians don’t speak as one voice or the fact that Belgium doesn’t exist?

            1. Holy fuck, that’s some serious insanity there.

              Thank you.

      2. Well and this:

        JonathanCohn ?@JonathanCohn Mar 26
        .@marieharf If you care so very, very much, why do you continue to support the Israeli occupation of Gaza and the West Bank?

        He’s totally not obsessed with Israel!

        Editor. Historian. Environmentalist. Humanist. Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, and Trees. Boston by way of Baltimore, London, NYC, DC, and Philly.

    2. No, they don’t. If they had the level of self-awareness required to understand the absurdness, they would have committed suicide a long time ago.

    3. Please tell me that was Photoshopped or something.

    4. The only time Putin uses a hashtag is when he burns it into someone’s face with a radioactive cigarette lighter.

    5. Deputy Spokesperson for the @StateDept. Alum of @BarackObama 2012, @CIA, @UVA, and @IUBloomington. Granville, Ohio native – will always be a Buckeye at heart.

      Dammit. Her being from Ohio is even more embarrassing than Sloop…wait, what? Alumnus of Barack Obama 2012? Who the fuck says something like that?

      1. #Cincitucky 4 lyf

  28. I take it this is apt then: http://4-ps.googleusercontent……j8jhHi.jpg

    1. Dat ass!

      Also, racist!

  29. If I’m venting, I’ll repost this from further up –

    Are these the 10 worse hymns of all time?…..more-18062

    1. I have a funeral to attend on Saturday at the local Catholic Church. Will this be on the pop quiz?

      1. First off, I’m sorry to hear you have a funeral to attend in the first place.

        Second off, the music really depends. I mean, the Church has a rich heritage of liturgical music, but it also has some really insipid post-Vatican II stuff. YMMV.

        1. Family friend:

          Really had his head on straight. It was sensational, so the media picked up on it. There are some comments floating around the internet that I hope his parents never see.

          1. That is horrible!

            I think I’ll put all of you in my prayers.

            1. Well, I think I’ll stop posting links tonight. God bless you.

            2. The family deserves some prayers. They really are incredible people. They are tremendously wealthy and connected, but they don’t act like it. They have the resources to destroy the tour bus company and the parents who hosted the party, but they won’t.

              Also, they kept their son on life support at the hospital until every one of his friends could visit and say goodbye.

      2. The only thing to remember is to not try and go up and get communion. Also, that’s pretty fucked up, sorry man.

        1. I’m confirmed Lutheran. Do Catholics have an open door policy on communion?

            1. “You heathens”? I don’t bleeve in Jebus, but I don’t want to offend the family if that’s what it comes down to.

              My wife still won’t set foot in church. Funny, she thinks everyone will know she’s a Jew.

              1. Funny, she thinks everyone will know she’s a Jew.

                I think bells and sirens go off when Jews enter churches. Specially the Katlick churches.

                To answer your question, I remember the catechism crew, in third grade, telling me I was going to hell because I, a Methodist, took communion before having my “First Holy Communion”.

                So Imma say no, but again, they were 8 years old.

                1. To answer your question, I remember the catechism crew, in third grade, telling me I was going to hell because I, a Methodist, took communion before having my “First Holy Communion”.

                  As Jesus himself, of course, told the tax collectors, prostitutes and other assorted sinners he hung out with.

                2. “I think bells and sirens go off when Jews enter churches.”

                  Oy! You should hear what happens when a non-bleever walks in!

          1. To give you a non-butthurt answer:

            No, Catholics don’t have open communion. You have to be a Catholic whose received first communion/been confirmed to receive communion. I.e. you have to believe that it is the actual body and blood of Christ. Some Orthodox may or may not be allowed to as well. I mentioned it because I’ve encountered pissed off Protestants with the attitude that Fransciso espouses above. I don’t know why the get pissed because they don’t believe in transubstantiation. Communion is serious bizness and it would be incredibly offensives to go up and receive it. The very first thing I did when I started doubting my faith was to stay back and contemplate during Mass.

            Easiest thing to do is just stay back but you can go up with crossed arms and receive a blessing if you want. The funeral may not be a full mass one anyways, but it probably is. It’s good to know for weddings too!

            1. 🙂

              Not pissed at all. More amused, as I now believe in none of it.

              Doesn’t mean I can’t/shouldn’t take a jab at the Katlicks when given the opportunity to get even. 😉

              I don’t deny anyone their beliefs, but you better be able to take some good natured ribbing about them.

              1. I meant the attitude you had as a third grader not now! Third graders don’t know better (and neither did the snots telling you off). But I’m amazed at the number of so called adults who act the same way while knowing better and going up to get communion because “they should be allowed to.” They aren’t going to a non-existent hell, but they are huge assholes.

            2. There’ll probably be 5000 people there. I’ll try and stay back.

              1. Damn! Popular guy. If I could muster 10, I’d be lucky.

    2. Holy fuck, memories. Some of these are cheesy but none of them are that bad. Hell I even liked Sing a New Song. But maybe after hearing/singing them a billion times I’m just numb.

      For the record, the worst hymns were every piece of garbage they did in Youth Mass that sounded too much like those weirdo protestants. They even did hand gestures and shit. Garbage.

      1. By the way, guess what they include in the Gather hymnal? Not that I’m complaining – they owe us.

        1. Here’s a couple more traditional ones

          Dies Irae

          Byzantine Catholic Cherubic Hymn

        2. Yeah, that one’s awesome.

    3. The worst ones are the ones Bono has covered.

      What do I win?

    4. “Are these the 10 worse hymns of all time?”

      Have to admit, that’s got me stumped!

  30. “Stamford, Connecticut, police have arrested a Stamford High School English teacher who is accused of having a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student and then threatening to fail him when he tried to break off the relationship.”


    1. “Somebody’s getting an F today. Is it gonna be you or me?”

      1. “And your final exam, for 100% of your grade, is actually a single question…yes or no?”

        1. +extra credit

    2. Police obtained an arrest warrant and charged her with two counts of second-degree sexual assault and sale of marijuana, Bond was set at $75,000.

      She should lose her job for sure, but all of those charges are crap. It was consensual and her crazy vindictiveness about threatening to fail him unless they continued to bone is a cause for termination, not jail time.

    3. I didn’t know until now that married women Catholic priests were teaching English in Connecticut.

    1. “FedEx also ignored warnings from the DEA, FDA and members of Congress.”

      So congress is in charge of enforcing the law now?

    2. Fed Ex shipped goods without opening the package and inspecting them?
      Why, as an arm of the government, I’m sure they are required to open EVERY package to make sure the contents comply with Reg. 5c-19/7896b!

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.