Television

One Day Only Old People Will Remember the '90s

History doesn't stop no matter what you yell as you stand athwart it.

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Picking up on something Elizabeth Nolan Brown wrote here this morning:

Life is an escalator to nowhere, and everyone eventually plunges to an awkward death. Enjoy your weekend!
The Simpsons

To younger members of Gen X and older millennials, [Saved by the Bell] is part of the childhood canon. I think we all died a little inside yesterday in the Reason D.C. office when we realized that none of our interns and a few of our youngest staffers had no idea who Jessie Spano was. By a quick show of birth years, we pipointed 1990 as the crack in this generational divide. I shudder to ask them about the Soup Nazi—though I suppose Seinfeld is a show you're more prone to watch in reruns as an adult than Saved by the Bell. (Another show launched in 1989, The Simpsons, is still airing after all these years.)

I was watching some old episodes of The Simpsons with one of my kids the other night, and I don't think I've ever felt quite as decrepit as I did when I realized that "Marge vs. the Monorail" is 21 years old. Put another way: The gap between now and "Marge vs. the Monorail" is larger than the gap between "Marge vs. the Monorail" and the fall of Saigon. I would have told my daughter that, but then she would've asked "What's a Saigon?" and I would've felt even older. It was bad enough that I had to explain who Leonard Nimoy was. He isn't even dead yet.

NEXT: Brendan O'Neill on How British Liberals Sold Out Free Speech

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  1. Stop reminding me of my mortality!

    1. My, god, this was my exact reaction.

    1. Batman’s a scientist.

    2. Sorry Fist, the mob has spoken.

  2. In the future old people will listen to rap music and be covered in tattoos and body piercings.

    1. And the rap will be even LOUDER, I SAID!

    2. Fortunately I’m not likely to be around to have to see it. I’m still trying to get over seeing little old ladies dressed up in hippie garb.

    3. Circus sideshows will feature The Amazing Untattooed Woman.

  3. Jesse,
    I’m an old fart and I don’t have a clue as to who Jessie Spano is. I know who Seinfeld is, but have never seen a show; ditto The Simpsons.
    There’s more than age involved here.

    1. Like living under a rock?

      1. RBS|7.3.14 @ 10:47AM|#
        “Like living under a rock?”

        Yeah, I really missed all that uplifting crap from popular TV shows.
        Why, the laugh tracks alone prolly taught you a lot.

        1. Yeah, I really missed all that uplifting crap from popular TV shows.

          You’re certainly missing something, seeing as you’re consistently a giant asshole, and the sum total of your input is incoherent insults and not knowing html.

          1. ” the sum total of your input is incoherent insults and not knowing html.”

            This is why I learned HTML! Wheee!

    2. Yeah, I had to Google her – I never watched that show either, although the right age. If they’d mentioned Spork or Spaz or whatever the dweeby guy was called, though, for whatever reason, I remember hearing about that character.

      1. I will say with pride that I called her as the first one to do porn after the show ended.

        Close. Close enough.

  4. This is an easy and dark game to play. It has been 23 years since Nirvana hit it big in the summer of 1991. That makes Nirvana as old today as The White Album was in 1991. If today were 1984, the 60s would be just as far back in the rear view mirror as the 1990s are now.

    The feeling this gives you just comes from the perspective of age. When you are 20 years old, you can’t personally remember anything much over 16 years old. So something that is 20 years old seems like forever. When you are 40, you can remember things 35 years ago and something 20 years old doesn’t seem so old no by comparison. This awareness only increases with age.

    1. And when you’re 57 you can remember things that are 50 years old, but can’t remember what the fuck it was I went to the store to get /cliche.

      1. I still have trouble adjusting to “Hey, remember that…thing we did….that. was. 35 years ago. Fuck.”

        I miss the 80s.

    2. But when I’m 64 will you still need me? Will you still feed me?

      1. well, i’ll still bring you a brithday greeting… a bottle of wine.

      2. That looks less and less like a rhetorical question every day now.

        1. Senicide: It’s not illegal when the government does it.

  5. I think the big thing that’s going to make people feel old is 9/11. We’re just a couple of months away from having teenagers who were born after it. We might already be at the point where college freshmen don’t remember it! Of course, Pro Lib feels that way about the invention of agriculture.

    All I really remember from Saved by the Bell is Screech, and also an episode where they spraypaint shoes and resell them. I wasn’t big on sitcoms. Give me TNG or action filled cartoons instead.

    The Monorail episode is one of the best, if only for that song. That was the first song I ever illegally downloaded.

    He isn’t even dead yet.

    Worse, he’s Sylar now.

  6. It was bad enough that I had to explain who Leonard Nimoy was. He isn’t even dead yet.

    He’s that old guy they inexplicably saddled the Star Trek movies with.

    1. I went with “Remember when you were reading The Hobbit and I showed you that ridiculous song on YouTube?”

      1. He’s the bravest little hobbit of them all, you philistine!

  7. “Life is an escalator to nowhere, and everyone eventually plunges to an awkward death.”

    …Does anyone want to switch seats?

    1. And let me say, may the Force be with you.

  8. When people talk about 10 years ago, I think of the ’90s.

    1. I still mentally think “recent” when I hear any year that starts with 20.

    2. Yea, I’ve got a 10 or so year gap in real time vs. my perceived time. “Oh, I just did that last year.” Turns out it was 10 years ago. ’90s were just a little ways back.

    3. I think of “now” as approximately 2000-2001. My dad tells me he thinks of “now” as 1966-68. Brains are stupid things.

      1. Good. I’m not the only one.

        You mean I didn’t just graduate from college?

    4. TV shows filmed in the 90s are starting to look really dated, the way TV shows filmed in the 70s looked in the 90s. Only now, I remember watching those shows when they aired.

  9. Disturbing, but you can insert any decade into the title and it will still be true.

    1. What will be the cultural icon of the aughts?

      1. Obama, obviously.

      2. “I Love the 90s”

      3. Google.

  10. Will July 3 2014 go down in history as the day when Nick Gillepsie finally figured out that when the kids these days talk about sticking it to the man, they’re talking about him?

    1. *Shakes 8-ball*

      “All signs point to YES”

    2. Nothing sticks to the Jacket.

    3. No, it’s the day when he figures out that if kids these days WERE sticking it to the man, the right way…like they did in his day, it would be him.

  11. I’ll bet the kids these days don’t even want to wear onions on their belts.

    1. as was the style at the time.

      1. +1 walking bird

  12. I got kinda weirded out the other day, talking to a group of millennial-somethings, and they didn’t know who John Denver was.

    John Denver was popular when I was a tiny little kid. He was popular more than a decade before I came of age–but I knew who the fuck he was!

    I started wondering about who else they didn’t know. Someone recognized Snoop Dog as the guy that was in that Katy Perry video.

    …and I think that’s what bugs me. They seem like squares. If you relate to Snoop by way of Katy Perry, you may be in the younger mainstream, but the younger mainstream has become incredibly square.

    It’s as square as it’s been in a long, long time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAFr4n7UAy0

    1. Well, yeah, but in all fairness, Gilligan’s Island was iconic ;^)

    2. Sheesh, I remember a couple of teenage cashiers in the ’80s who’d never heard of the Beatle.

      1. The Beetle was still in production in Mexico at the time!

        Wait, did you meant Beatles?

        1. And there are dozens of them for sale on autotrader classic.

        2. Yeah. Only one cup of coffee so far, so not all synapses connected.

    3. John Denver was popular when I was a tiny little kid. He was popular more than a decade before I came of age–but I knew who the fuck he was!

      I know he wasn’t a very good pilot.

      1. Them Rocky Mountains ARE high.

        1. In Colorado.

          (He crashed in the ocean though.)

      2. He was a fine pilot, his emergency fuel switch was in the wrong spot, out of reach.

  13. The 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s all had distinct cultural icons/movements.

    As a son of the 70s National Lampoon, Hustler, realism in film, classic rock, social sitcoms like MASH and All in the Family, etc were influential to me.

    The Aughts? They have almost nothing.

    1. They have hipsters and “24”.

    2. It’s Bush’s fault those damn kids won’t get off your lawn.

    3. You must have taken your meds this morning. There wasn’t one in the oughts. That is primarily I think because the rise of the internet fractured the culture. It used to be that people didn’t have access to much entertainment so we all watched what was on the major networks and listened to what music got played on the radio or later on MTV. There was always an underground of artists and various geek hangers on listening or doing different stuff, but that was small. With the rise of the internet everyone could listen to whatever they wanted or watch whatever they wanted. So without the artificial concentration of the old media, there no longer were defining cultural moments or aesthetics.

      1. That is primarily I think because the rise of the internet fractured the culture.

        And yet, we all have seen at least one episode of Spongebob, played one game of Angry Birds, and have waited awkwardly in silence as Dora waited for us to repeat what she said in Spanish.

        If the ’00s have one icon though, it’s an Apple.

        1. I know what all those things are but have never watched/played any of them.

          I spent the oughts with adultswim and the new Dr. Who.

        2. I have not seen Spongebob; played Angry Birds; or seen Dora.

          This is because I am so fucking old 😉

      2. The 00’s icon is YouTube.

        1. Nyan Cat was 2011.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yJgwwDcgV8

          Still i would consider it an Aught’s phenomena.

      3. ?

        There are some pretty universal cultural icons/movements that define the 00’s:

        Facebook
        Reality TV
        Worship of Troops
        Smartphones
        Memes

        1. I don’t consider technology as culture although it is vital to portray it.

          70s = VCRs. Not really important in of itself.

        2. You left out video games.

          Look up how many copies of Minecraft have sold.

          It will blow your mind.

      4. 9/11, the wars, Youtube, ipods, MySpace, Facebook…

        1. The global “icon” of the aughts and beyond is the violent fanatical Muslim.

          Before 9/11 most Americans couldn’t tell a Sunni from a Moonie. Since then we’ve learned more about these people than we ever really wanted to, and for bad and for worse, the entire world now revolves around them and their endless psychopathies.

    4. Showing your age…

      Just because you don’t recognize what they have, doesn’t mean they don’t have it.

      As is typical of older generations… “Get off my lawn!”

      1. Here’s a gem, make sure you watch the whole thing.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZZ7oFKsKzY

      2. Unless you come up with something more important than ‘The Colbert Report’ I am betting that John’s theory has merit.

        1. “I am betting that John’s theory has merit”

          Who are you and what have you done with PB?

        2. I’m a 90’s kid myself, but I can tell you that two big shows for the 00’s were Pokemon and Dragonball Z.

          Say what you want about that… but it’s true.

          For a little older crowd, there was also Family guy, yes Family guy is that old. It is the Simpsons of the 00’s.

          1. My brother and I watched Pokemon ironically in high school. I guess we were the original hipsters.

    5. The Aughts? They have almost nothing.

      Video games.

      1. Video games have been huge since the 80s. Every decade has seen improvement in the technology and expansion in popularity of video games, but there’s nothing about the 00’s that’s particularly notable with video games relative to previous decades.

    6. Paris Hilton, hipsters, and internet trolls

  14. My wife — when we were still dating — made a “I call the big one bitey” joke. I won’t say it wasn’t why we got engaged. but a contributing factor.

    1. I recently used the “Is there any chance the track will bend?” in an FAQ I sent out to all staff a few months back, just as a droll way of closing it out, after a few dozen boring Q & A’s.

      No one got it and one person was worried that our new Indian employee might be offended.

      I hate this culture today. When I die, I’m taking everyone with me.

  15. The 90’s will always be the Golden Age of Cinema. Particularly 1997, 1998. You all know what I’m talking about.

    1. My favorite is listening to people go on about what a deep movie the Matrix was.

      1. For a movie with that kind of popularity and distribution it was. Let’s face it, most hundred million dollar summer blockbusters have plots like Transformers. The Matrix wasn’t exactly breaking any new ground in sci fi storytelling, but you have to keep in mind what most people are comparing it to.

      2. It was deeper then Star Wars.

      3. There were a lot of crap movies in the 90s, but Coen Brothers and Heat help to make up for a lot of it. Also, you don’t see as many dark, dry or realistic comedies from the 2000s as you did in the 90s.

    2. Con Air and Face/Off, obviously.

      1. John Woo? Please. Find two great actors? Check. Find two great actors with the same body type? Meh. UNBELIEVABLE.

        1. Agreed. When they explained that the two guys had completely compatible facial structures I called bullshit. They couldn’t have found two more different facial structures. The only thing they had in common was overacting.

          1. But it was fantastic overacting!

    3. Ah yes…1998. That’s when Debi Diamond did the first Gangbang Girl, no?

      1. Yes, they Golden Age of Porn is long past.

        Even with today’s better technology. Who wants HD to see some chick’s tramp stamp?

        1. Who wants HD to see some chick’s tramp stamp?

          Worse, who wants to see HD razor burn?

    4. Independence Day, fuck yeah!

    5. What about 1994? Shawshank, Pulp Fiction, Lion King, Speed, etc.

      1. Holy Shit that was 20 years ago

  16. What will be the cultural icon of the aughts?

    Not, sad to report, a youtube video of disgraced former President Obama waving to his sobbing minions from the steps of Marine One, en route to an appointment with a team of Justice Department prosecutors.

  17. Time marches on. One day the majority of us will be forgotten – just numbers, or a tiny thread in the weave of history.

    1. I felt this way when Mister Rogers died and I realized my son was already getting to old to watch him.

      “Cat’s in the cradle…” as my Dad says.

      1. grr… too old.

        1. Wait…is pedo bear the cultural icon of the aughts?

    2. I’ve always believed that 1000 years from now the only person from the 20th century who will still be a household name is Neil Armstrong.

  18. I think we all died a little inside yesterday in the Reason D.C. office when we realized that none of our interns and a few of our youngest staffers had no idea who Jessie Spano was.

    They probably know her better as Nomi Malone from Showgirls.

  19. “I think we all died a little inside yesterday in the Reason D.C. office when we realized that none of our interns and a few of our youngest staffers had no idea who Jessie Spano was.”

    Hell, I am still getting used to being the only person in my office who knows what “My Mother the Car” is.

    1. Who the hell is Jessie Spano?

      1. The chick from Showgirls.

        1. They did a prequel to Showgirls as a TV series.

        2. I am all for hot women getting their kits off in movies. But, Elizabeth Berkley wasn’t hot and that movie was just bad, not bad funny but just bad.

          The Reason staff really are insufferable hipsters. If you watch shitty movies because they are “so bad their good and that makes it ironic” or some such, you might be a hipster.

          1. The Ice Pirates?

            1. That was a good movie

              Not Megaforce good, but good

          2. You must be kidding. Showgirls was friggin awesome, incredibly funny and tons of t and a. The Saved by the Bell chick had a great body, not down really with the early 90’s perm,but it did kind of add to the set design.

            1. She had a decent body and the perm was hideous.

          3. John, bitching about hipsters is so 2010

    2. my mother the car, that I remember

    3. Car 54, where are you?

      1. Nick at Nite?

  20. “I think we all died a little inside yesterday in the Reason D.C. office when we realized that none of our interns and a few of our youngest staffers had no idea who Jessie Spano was.”

    I’m SO EXCITED!

    1. You just can’t hide it?

  21. Jessie Spano? Kelly Kapowski FTMFW, yo.

    1. Exactly. I remain disappointed that it was Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.

      1. There’s still time.

    2. Time has been cruel to Tiffani Thiessen. Here’s your proof the 90’s are over:

      http://upload.wikimedia.org/wi…..iessen.jpg

      1. Sarcasm? Because I liked what I saw.

        1. There’s no accounting for taste. She looked a lot better 10 years ago, IMO.

          1. She looked a lot better 10 years ago

            Everybody over 30 does.

            1. Danica McKellar is 39. Just sayin’.

              1. I was so very annoyed that I missed her at the Science and Engineering Festival, back in April.

                Instead, I got David Fucking Pogue. He’s a shit public speaker, in addition to being a twerp.

                1. “The kitchen has run out of lobster, but we are happy to offer you this cheese sandwich in substitution”

      2. That is a bad picture of her. She was on Me in My Place last spring looked damn good. She is an over 40 mom, granted. But at least in that shoot, she definitely punched well above her weight class.

        1. If you want to be frightened by aging, do an image search for Anita Ekberg 2013. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

  22. And is it just me or wasn’t it really obvious that Angela was the boss? Why was it even a question?

  23. One of the most difficult things I have to do as a professor is try to connect with a whole generation that has never seen Caddyshack or Animal House.

    1. Just make that your first two classes.

    2. What the fuck? My 16 and 14 year old can recite many lines from both of those as well as many other classics from that era.

      As a matter of fact, we drove past a highway sigh for “Rock Ridge” the other day and my daughter posted a pic of it to my FB page for me with “I wonder if the sheriff is near?”

      My kids rock.

      1. My 16 year old daughter, not Reason or Liberty.

        Although I am proud to admit that they’re being raised on Tom & Jerry classics as well as old school WB toons rather than the dreck most bubble-wrapped kids of their generation are being subjected to.

        1. the dreck most bubble-wrapped kids of their generation are being subjected to.

          I can’t contain my seething disgust for what passes for cartoons today. I wish a pox of infected meteorite strikes on Cartoon Network’s programming division.

          1. THIS IS SO TRUE!

            I’ve already planned to show my children looney tunes, Tom & Jerry, etc… and I don’t even have kids yet.

          2. Gravity Falls is OK. Kind of like a goofy Scooby Doo but with no dog and lecherous redneck uncle.

            1. Yeah, I forgot the Phineas and Ferb disclaimer. I fully admit to not getting Adventure Time. At. All.

              1. I get the writing in Adventure Time, but I can’t get past the crappy animation. I hate deliberately crappy animation.

                1. The actual animation is way better then transformers was.

                  I think you mean the art style. Which is as least as good as Simpsons and better then south park.

              2. I fully admit to not getting Adventure Time. At. All.

                Really?

                I binge watched 4 seasons of that show about a month ago I am absolutely totally impressed by it.

                It is like the writers took Thundarr the Barbarian and mixed it with pure awesome.

          3. It’s not in production any more, but I liked Invader Zim.

    3. Then Boy, 14, has already been exposed to The Blues Brothers and Stripes. He loved both of them. He also loved They Live and Young Frankenstein.

      Next up:

      Animal House
      Blazing Saddles
      Caddyshack
      Back to School
      Alien and Aliens
      The Thing

      And a whole shit load of other 70’s and 80’s movies.

      1. Alien and Aliens

        So you’re going to make him ironically compare and contrast the greatness of the Ridley Scott original with the James Cameron crapfest? I suppose you’re going to make him watch 2010: The Year We Make Contact right after 2001: A Space Odyssey as well?

        1. Aliens was a good action movie in its own context. Nothing to be ashamed of there.

          Amazingly, he did actually sit and watch 2001 with me. I tried to get him to watch The Hunt for Red October, but he bailed on that.

          2010 is…OK. It has a fuckload of problems, not the least of which was Peter Hyams, but it’s watchable and does bring closure to 2001.

          1. 2001 is my all-time favorite movie.

            1. I own a 24-sheet billboard for 2001, the first release with the space station, not the later releases with the Star Child.

              1. I can brag that my mom took me to see it, in the theaters, when I was 7.

                All I remembered were the monkeys, the space station and pretty lights.

        2. ^^THIS^^ Wow has Aliens aged poorly. Alien is still the only movie I am aware of that manages to be a classic in three different genres (Sci fi, Horror, and suspense/action). Alien looks better every time I see it. Aliens looks like bad 80s schmaltzy action movie more each year.

          1. Aliens looks like bad 80s schmaltzy action movie more each year.

            You say it as if there is something wrong with that. Nothing beats a good 80’s action flick, especially an Ahnold flick. So over the top. Predator is fucking epic.

            1. I absolutely love Die Hard for 80’s schmaltzy action, but it didn’t work with Aliens for me, probably because I liked the original so much. It’s like watching the sequels to the original 1968 Planet of the Apes (the reboots don’t exist because I refuse to acknowledge them).

              1. I love both Alien and Aliens, each for their own value and relevance.

                Alien is what makes me cry so hard over Prometheus. So bad. So. Fucking. Awful.

                It’s like watching the sequels to the original 1968 Planet of the Apes (the reboots don’t exist because I refuse to acknowledge them).

                Only Tim Burton’s. So campy and so horrid. I guarantee you that it will be a cult classic.

                1. I’m not gonna lie, I own it on DVD. I was 14, DVD was a new format, and surround sound was cool.

            2. My favorite Ahnold flick is True Lies, followed by Total Recall

              1. CONAN!

                What is best in life?

            3. Don’t forget Commando and it’s barrage of macho bullshit and one liners.

          2. Alien is still the only movie I am aware of that manages to be a classic in three different genres (Sci fi, Horror, and suspense/action).

            The Thing might qualify as well, although it was lighter on the sci-fi, obviously.

  24. As far as I’m concerned, the only real Superman is George Reeves. And Johnny Depp as Tonto? And Native Americans are upset about the Redskins football team? It’s a nutty world.

    1. Yeah that is one hell of a good question. Redskins are offensive but Johnny Depp doing a black face routine about Indians isn’t?

      1. You should watch some of the older Disney movies like Dumbo or The Jungle Book

        1. Peter Pan

          yeah

      2. He said that was totally cool because he might be 1/64th Cherokee or something. Like, no shit, he said that.

      3. Anybody that’s more offended at Johnny Depp as Tonto than they are offended at him ruining Willy Wonka needs to have their head examined.

        As a matter of fact, anybody more offended at the Washington Redskins name than his ruination of Willy Wonka should be beaten with a rubber hose.

        I’d go so far as to say that Depp’s portrayal of Wonka should be deemed as evil as anything put to film since Curly Joe replaced Curly Howard.

        1. Depp did not ruin Willy Wonka, Burton did.

      4. They got plenty pissed off about Johnny Depp as Tonto.

    2. Who wants a fat superman? Christopher or GTFO

  25. I was born in ’91, so my childhood consisted of goosebumps, Pokemon, yu-gi-oh, sockem boppers, and waffle crisp. God what I wouldn’t give for a bowl of waffle crisp.

    1. ’91, so I guess no pogs for you?

      1. Born in ’83. I definitely remember pogs. But I was all about Ninja Turtles action figures.

        1. I still have my Ninja Turtles action figures in a box somewhere.

        2. Did you have the pizza thrower tank? I never received one 🙁

          *Resists urge to purchase one from eBay*

          1. I had the Technodrome, son!

            1. Your parents loved you.

            2. I had the GI Joe aircraft carrier.

      2. Pogs made a brief appearance in 5th grade, then disappeared.

      1. How the….my life is complete.

  26. This is from last year, so add one to everything:

    Mark Hamil is 61. Luke Skywalker is only two years younger than Obi Wan Kenobi was when Star Wars came out.

    Ralph Macchio is 51. This means the Karate Kid is now the same age Mr. Miyagi was when the movie came out.

    Lisa Whechel is 49. This means one of the Facts of Life girls is only two years younger than one of the Golden Girls was when it premiered.

    Alex Winter is 47. Kenau Reeves is 48. Bill and Ted are only four years younger than Rufus was when Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure came out.

    Whil Weaton is 40. Wesley Crusher is older than every crew member of The Enterprise except for Picard was when Star Trek the Next Generation premiered.

    Mark-Paul Gosselaar is 39. Zach Morris is the same age Mr. Belding was when Saved by the Bell premiered.

    The present in Back to the Future (1985) is now almost as far in the past as 1955 was when that movie came out.

    1. That just might qualify as a nut punch.

    2. The present in Back to the Future (1985) is now almost as far in the past as 1955 was when that movie came out.

      2015 is next year. In fact, we’re closer to 2015 than 2013. I want my fucking hoverboard.

      1. Are we? With February being a short month and 4 months on the back half of the year having 31 days, I think we’re exactly as far from 2013 as we are from 2015 today. Actually closer for those of us on the east coast for the next 34 minutes.

        1. *Slaps sloop, walks away*

      2. And I want my goddamn Cubs World Series wins. Any century now, Theo.

  27. The 80s were SO much cooler than the 90s.

    1. When were lawn darts banned?

  28. I didn’t know who “Jessie Spano” was either, but that’s because I’m too old. Now get off my lawn!

  29. Marge vs. the Monorail is proof that libertarian theory doesn’t work. Marge just wanted to fix the ROADZ. And because the town gave into a capitalist, there are no ROADZ in Springfield.

    (You can thank me for the headline later, @Salondotcom)

  30. Just saw 22 Jump Street, and I was the only one that laughed when they made a funny Ice Cube/Straight Outta Compton reference. I didn’t realize ’till later that that was contemporary *25* years ago. Shit.

  31. As someone being born in the ’86, I get reminded of the generational stuff most often when watching baseball. I remember the time, at about age 15, when hitting 25 homers meant you were a pussy.

    Now hitting 20 is really solid, and 30 makes you a legit power hitter.

  32. Jessie Spano? Who the hell is that?

    I do remember this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WqazleR3FE

    and this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJodlc_u5jY

  33. In the spirit of the World Cup, there were these: http://www.bing.com/images/sea…..tedIndex=0

    Maybe these uniforms are the real reason Ann Coulter hates soccer.

    1. Liking soccer already makes you gay. Critiquing the uniforms just puts it over the top.

      1. I thought you said licking the uniforms, which really knocks your theory around. (Tundra’s link)

  34. Can someone please explain why “Porkies” was set in the 50s?

    1. Because someone in the studio decided they needed a movie that was a rip off of Animal House but with a “Grease” feel. Think about when that movie was made.

    2. People in their 40s tend to control entertainment.
      People in their 40s tend to be nostalgic for their childhoods.

      Thus in the 80s, 50s nostalgia was very popular.
      Same reason 80s nostalgia is big now.

  35. I do a fair amount of delving through old media to find stuff I’ll rewatch with my kids (or old stuff that even I am experiencing for the first time, like the Popeye strips from the 30s). Some of it just doesn’t work out since the presentation is either too “old” to grab them, or doesn’t have the same impact in today’s context. Like, Seinfeld’s and the Simpsons work just fine, the original Star Trek is a struggle, and I can’t get The Prisoner to take.

    I also experience current stuff with them, too. I don’t think the older stuff is inherently better just because it was what I experienced. But there are definitely some older things I would like them to have in their head lexicon, especially when I think it brings something they wouldn’t get otherwise.

  36. You want to feel old and out of it?

    Top 10 tracks being streamed by… some streaming …thing… because…… uh, radio is dead?…. something….

    UNITED STATES

    1. FKA Twigs, “Two Weeks” (Young Turks Recordings Ltd)

    2. alt-J, “Hunger Of The Pine” (Infectious)

    3. Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud” (Atlantic Records UK)

    4. Sylvan Esso, “Coffee” (Partisan Records)

    5. Bleachers, “Like a River Runs” (RCA Records)

    6. Mastodon, “The Motherload” (Reprise)

    7. PHOX, “Slow Motion” (Partisan Records)

    8. Sylvan Esso, “Hey Mami” (Partisan Records)

    9. The Gaslight Anthem, “Rollin’ and Tumblin'” (Island Records)

    10. Milky Chance, “Stolen Dance” (Republic Records)

    ——————————

    I know one. Mastodon. I can’t even remember if i liked them.

    1. What is interesting about that is there isn’t a single rap song on it. Is there? Rap is really and truly dead.

      1. Yes and no. If you look at the Billboard pop chart pretty much every song that isn’t country has a “feat. *insert rapper here*”.

        1. Someone on Yahoo Answers or similar once asked, “Who is this “feat.” person who performs on so many songs?”

    2. Gaslight Anthem is the only one I’ve heard of.

      There is some good music coming out today, but it’s few and very far between.

      1. And you almost certainly will not hear it on the radio.

        1. Rad…what is this ray-dee-o that you speak of?

          1. Well in the 1800’s there was this fellow named Hertz….

            Then magic happened.

            Then your local station played Sweet Child of Mine a few million times too many, and everyone stopped listening.

            1. It’s funny, in that I hadn’t listened to FM radio in over 5 years, but started listening again to a couple of the local progressive/college stations again.

              It still doesn’t match XM or my own colleciton, but it’s another option.

          2. Video killed the radio star.

    3. That guy ‘Ed Sheeran‘ actually sounds like Music, fwiw

      much of the rest of it is ‘synth pads + strained, overprocessed vox’ = Moody trance beets!

      and the guy in this piece here (which is actually also pretty good if you like hipster navel-gazing tea-drinking music) has my same Tele!

      The black one. that is actually a fairly rare, late 70s (75-78) tele custom with the rosewood board…? They reissued the model in like 2003 or something but with maple, and the prices/demand on these originals have gone bazoonkers. specially for the rosewood.

      I like the music, but jesus, i feel like I could beat up that whole band with a sprained wrist. is someone still breast-feeding 20-year olds? And do they all really need glasses or is that a fashion thing?

      at least the kid has a nice tele

      1. SF’d the second link

        1. And then i fucked that up too…

          The above link is really horrible and not what i referred to, which was this… which the second time around is actually even more boring than i originally thought, but for the fact that the guy does have mah same geetar

    4. I have no idea if I know any of these at all. If I hear something I really like–like enough to keep, I grab it. I don’t care who the artist is, what the ‘album’ is called. I just grab the music that sounds good.

      Who the band is has become unimportant.

  37. Of all the threads for Epi to be absent from….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRNAmUOuY3c

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