District: Sorry Kids, No More Birthday Cake In School—Try a Delicious Pencil Instead

Just let them eat cake.

Joy / Flickr

A Washington school district is going the extra mile to ensure that fun dies a wretched death: Students will now be prohibited from bringing cupcakes to school to celebrate their birthdays. 

The sweet snacks were deemed inappropriate, given the Obama administration's federal health mandates for public schools, according to KIRO 7:

The move is part of an 18-month wellness and nutrition study that started after a new federal wellness policy took effect requiring superintendents nationwide to monitor nutritional standards for students.

The district has gotten three written complaints so far.

Instead of a cupcake, students will now get a pencil or handmade card from classmates.

How fun.

Apparently, some teachers complained that there were simply too many birthdays during certain weeks and the extra sweets made kids rowdy. Okay, but can't they just celebrate some joint birthdays without cutting cake entirely?

Nope, according to Edmonds School District spokeswoman DJ Jakala:

"If the child chooses, the class will sing to them. Like I said, there are instances of personalized cards and they can be first in line," said Jakala.

Just let them eat cake.

Hat tip: Eric Owens / The Daily Caller

Comments

[creech]

How about a compromise? All cupcakes must be carrotcake!

[jmomls]

How about not celebrating birthdays or other holidays at all? The kids are there to learn, not party. The teachers are being paid to teach, not party.

[DC_36]

Hmm, interesting - sure a school could choose to celebrate them or not, I would assume, but that discretion would have to be up to the school. I presume you're not suggesting banning birthday celebrations at schools.

[Acosmist]

Not sure if serious.

[Invisible Finger]

If they sing Happy Birthday, they better have paid their ASCAP license fees as the children are not government employees.

http://www.unhappybirthday.com/

I'm pretty sure "Deutschland Uber Alles" is public domain in the U.S.

[See Double You]

"If the child chooses, the class will sing to them. Like I said, there are instances of personalized cards and they can be first in line," said Jakala.

Don't worry, you can still get your rationed chocolate.

[The Tone Police]

D-.

See me after class.

[GroundTruth]

The kids may as well learn it early: The floggings will continue until morale improves.

Get used to it, this is what your parents and grandparents have worked for for over 50 years.

[TommyHudson]

This is another example of an out of control federal government. Everyone who is concerned about the future of this nation should pick up a copy of The Contract On The Government. It is the book the politicians and bureaucrats DO NOT want you to read. Find out more here: http://www.thecontract.us

[Somhairle]

And then if they play with the pencils, the teachers will freak out about simulated guns.

[[e-mail]]

A school district in Southeastern Pennsylvania recently opted out of the federal school lunch program on the high school level because of increased restrictions. If the school stayed with the program, there could be no bake sale fund-raisers for booster clubs on school property.