Obama Looking at 'All the Options' on Iraq, Bergdahl Returns, Who Will Replace Cantor?: P.M. Links

|

  • White House

    Iraq is in chaos. President Obama announced this afternoon that he's "looking at all the options" available to remedy the situation.

  • Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who has been at a military hospital in Germany, is returning to the U.S. today.  
  • Who will replace Eric Cantor (R-Va.) as House Majority Leader? It's looking like it'll either be House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) or House Rules Committee Chairman Pete Sessions (R-Texas).
  • The White House won't fire anybody over the big oopsy that revealed who the CIA's top agent in Afghanistan is.
  • The Pew Research Center conducted its largest ever political survey and determined that Americans are more polarized than ever.
  • Former President George H.W. Bush jumped out of a helicopter today to celebrate his 90th birthday. He's been doing a celebratory skydive every five years since he turned 75. 
  • The World Cup just started! Hopefully the cops are done teargasing protesters, but probably not.

Follow Reason and Reason 24/7 on Twitter, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

NEXT: ACLU Sues Mayor, Cops For Arrest of Twitter Parodist

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who has been at a military hospital in Germany, is returning to the U.S. today.

    To San Antonio. Just in time for game 5.

    1. Hello.

      “Iraq is in chaos. President Obama announced this afternoon that he’s “looking at all the options” available”

      You’re in good hands.

      1. This is going to go in a similar direction to Clinton blowing up the baby formula factory (or whatever it was).

        1. Pardon my manners.

          Hello.

          *tips hat*

        2. The baby formula factory (Saddam appeared outside a bombed out building with a crudely lettered sign in English that said “Baby Milk Factory”) happened in GW I. So very convincing. 🙂

          Clinton bombed a pharmaceutical plant in the Sudan. The CIA had claimed it was making chemical weapons. Maybe, maybe not, but given the intelligence community’s record, I’m going with aspirin factory.

          1. Forgot /sarc tag in first paragraph (for those with faulty sarcasmometers.

      2. Hello.

        I’m always up for some kinetic action.

        1. Obama will be like a boss

        2. Since we’re rebranding war as Kinetic Action, maybe we can rebrand the US Military as the Kinetic Action Team (KAT). Henceforth, all tweets and press releases out of USDoD will be in LOLSpeak.

    2. I don’t get it. Do conservatives wish he were still a captive?

  2. Iraq is in chaos. President Obama announced this afternoon that he’s “looking at all the options” available to remedy the situation.

    Boilerplate answers are the best.

    1. Shock and awe. SHOCK and AWE! SHOCK AND AWE!!

      1. Sunday. SUNDAY. SUNDAY. Live at the Baghdad Arena. Watch as they roar through the gates of hell and shake hands with the devil!

        1. …with NOOOOOOOO BRAKES!

          These guys must be CRAZY!!!! crazy!! crazy

          /Bay City Dragway

    2. I would hope that his top “option” would be “do nothing.”

      But I fear that it’s not even on his list.

      Plus ca change, plus…it remains the same.

      1. “Do nothing” is his standard, you imbecile. Sure, he might put some ‘red line’ bullshit out for the idiots.

        1. Yeah, just like he did nothing in Afghanistan, Syria, Libya. You imbecile.

          1. You’re lying on Syria and Libya. We did not set foot in either country.

            Afghan he ran on bumping it up to kill bin Laden.

            He is 3-3 in the real world. But maybe not in your World-o-Wingnuttery.

            1. “Sure he amped up Agahanistan, but that doesn’t count because christfags are trying to steal my essence.”

            2. He committed an act of war in Libya. If Mexico did to Texas what we did to Libya, we would be at war with Mexico. Boots on the ground are irrelevant.

              He has been providing arms to Syrian rebels and was itching to get boots in their until public opinion finally turned on him.

              1. I’m loving the right-wing freakout on Iraq today.

                They are so goddamn authoritarian and they want a Cheney/ Peter King /Bush type to put 150,00 troops in Iraq to “save” some bullshit in their fevered little minds.

                I hope the fucking place burns down and pisses off every fucking crazed wingnut cowboy in the GOP.

            3. You’re an uncomprehending dumbfuck, because nowhere did I say “set foot in”. I *implied* “did something* – cause he did, you unrepentent bag of excrement.

              But you – and we – already knew this.

              *reminds self it’s TFT – flagellates*

              1. Look, I don’t give a shit if the US lobs a few grenades into some Middle East shithole.

                I care about $2 trillion nation-building costs.

            4. Obama is “3-3” regarding Afghanistan, Syria, and Libya? Yeah, right. And you claim to represent the “real world”? Troll harder.

        2. Having the President lay down a “red line” that he has absolutely no intention of following through with, is so completely counterproductive, why would he pursue it?

          1. “Completely Counterproductive” sums up his entire presidency.

      2. Specifically in the case of Iraq, I would surmise that the Administration is inclined to do nothing.

      3. Are you kidding? With the number of scandals he needs to distract people from, how can he stand by and do nothing?

        1. Scandals? SCANDALS? (Mora style)

          You must watch Fox News.

          1. And you must keep your head in a warm dark place where no light gets in.

            I guess you get used to the smell after a bit?

    3. Boilerplate answers are the best.

      How does that saying go? “You break it, you broke it”?

  3. President Obama announced this afternoon that he’s “looking at all the options” available to remedy the situation.

    There was a list of possible options in the Washington Post?

      1. ditto

  4. Former President George H.W. Bush jumped out of a helicopter today to celebrate his 90th birthday. He’s been doing a celebratory skydive every five years since he turned 75.

    I like this about him.

    1. I wonder why he chose a helicopter. I prefer the rear door of a twin engine prop plane.

      1. He prefers anything that isn’t a burning WWII era bomber.

      2. A helicopter blast is supposed to be it’s own form of exuberant thrill.

        1. The rotor wash gives you a little head start, huh? I might have to give that a try….

      3. He loves the “Get to the choppa!” line?

      4. I prefer the rear door

        That’s what she said!

        Wait, that doesn’t work very well…

        I’ll try again later.

        1. No, I could see that working perfectly fine…

    2. Me, too. I hope I’m that full of piss and vinegar if I get to 90. 80 even. Hell – 70!

      1. I thought you were already in your 70’s, with all of the grandkid talk and whatnot…

        1. Get off my lawn, whippersnapper!!

          *shakes cane at Playa*

        2. “I’m not OLD! I’m 37*!”

          *52

          /Dennis

      2. “I’ll join! I’m full of piss and vinegar. At first I was just filled with vinegar.” – Grandpa Simpson

    3. For the D Day 70th anniversary over here, a Scottish veteran who parachuted in the original Normandy landing parachuted the same landing again. I thought that was awesome.

      1. Did he keel hisself some more skogies?

  5. Obama’s on a roll these days. I’m sure he’ll think of something brilliant.

    1. BTW: my Rangers say “you’re welcome.”

      1. I’ve already staked out my spot at the bar. I’m going to have to get there a couple of hours earlier than last time, no thanks to that New York Times article.

        1. Is that your regular watering hole?

          I haven’t got to see much of the finals but once they gave up the lead in G2 I figured that was it.

          1. It was before I had kids. Now, my living room is my regular watering hole.

            1. Heh, heh, heh.

  6. So, big first 15 minutes in the World Cup, huh?

    1. Croatia is making a good show of it, keeping Brazil honest. And if Brazil play like this for the rest of the Cup, they’re not going to win.

      1. And if Brazil play like this for the rest of the Cup, they’re not going to win.

        I’d like to be on record that I’m betting three (3) on field beheadings for this World Cup.

        1. Depends on whether the refs are buying the Brazil dives or not.

        2. That’s a tough call. Probably going to steer clear of it. Is there a line for post-match stabbings?

          1. What about protesters being shot by favela cops and nobody noticing because GOAAAAAAAAAL?

            1. That’s a safe bet. Eles querem voltar para casa em seguran?a!

      2. Eh, they are a little sloppy, but it looks like they are settling down and I see them still beating Croatia.

        1. They got better for the last part of the first half, but they’re dogging it again to start the second.

        2. Fuck, and the referee fucking gives it to Brazil.

          1. twice, with that bullshit “interference” call on the brazil keeper

  7. And Brazil just tied it.

  8. The White House won’t fire anybody over the big oopsy that revealed who the CIA’s top agent in Afghanistan is.

    It’s nobody’s fault, really. Except maybe House Republicans.

    1. It’s called accepting full responsibility. Now that that’s been done, they can get back to business as usual.

      1. Mistakes were made. Wingnuts should be happy with that, he will admit he’s not perfect and godlike and tell them to get a life.

  9. “Close the blast doors! Close the blast doors!”

    Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!”

    Ford was at Pinewood studios in England when a hydraulic door reportedly fell down and hit him, possibly fracturing his ankle.

    1. He was airlifted to a hospital shortly after the incident.

      An air lift for a broken ankle in the middle of civilization? This only makes sense if he flew out of England to get his bones set.

      1. There’s “broken” and there’s “mashed into pulp”.

      2. Maybe it was his helicopter? He does own one.

    2. Release the spit valve! Release the spit valve!

    3. He was reaching back to grab his hat.

    4. PUT… ZEE CANDLE… BACK…

      1. +1 sedagive

    5. Obligatory: “Han shot first!”

  10. The Pew Research Center conducted its largest ever political survey and determined that Americans are more polarized than ever.

    Time to break out that Jefferson/Adams video from ReasonTV.

    1. Or maybe Ken Burns’s The Civil War?

      1. No – this is WAY worse than that.

        1. Just like they always say the latest attack ad is the worst ever while ignoring all the fun politics of the 19th Century.

    2. The Kochtopus is polarizing us!

    3. Perhaps because the government is poking its nose into more things than ever?

      1. You know, that’s an excellent point. I normally revert to the “we’ve always been polarized” response. But this explains a lot more.

  11. Who will replace Eric Cantor (R-Va.) as House Majority Leader? It’s looking like it’ll either be House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) or House Rules Committee Chairman Pete Sessions (R-Texas).

    I hope it’s not Pete Sessions. I always thought The Who was overrated.

    1. “Meet the new boss ….”

  12. Who will replace Eric Cantor (R-Va.) as House Majority Leader?

    Give it to Brat. To the victor go the spoils.

    1. Elections have consequences, yo!

    2. Only if he eats his heart.

      There is no victory without cannibalism.

      1. That made me think of this little gem I saw today.

        The man was using a fork and a knife to eat the heart of the 62-year-old victim, who was stabbed in the chest and neck and bitten in the face, police told the BBC

        1. TELL me bath saltz were involved!

    3. WE WON. DEAL WITH IT.

  13. Man, self-medicating really worked out poorly for that other poor bastard.

    Prosecutors said Wilkins’ blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit when she struck 31-year-old Phillip Moreno in November 2012 as she was leaving a counseling center.

    She drove 2 miles through the city of Torrance before other motorists swarmed her car at a traffic light and kept her there until police arrived. Moreno was taken to a hospital, where he died.

    1. Wilkins, who was a drug addict before she became a drug and alcohol counselor, contended she wasn’t drunk that night. She claimed she was “self-medicating” while waiting for knee-replacement surgery and had consumed three single-serving bottles of vodka and a can of Budweiser beer and Clamato before starting to drive.

      Fucking Clamato.

      1. I can’t believe people actually drink that stuff.

        1. No kidding. Budweiser is nasty.

          1. Budweiser gives me headaches. Not like the pure refreshing Coors, which is brewed from pure Rocky Mountain water.

            1. Bud light = beach trash
              Coors light= river trash

              There’s a time and a place for everything.

    2. I remember when that happened. She drove around with that dude’s face and head through her windshield for 2 miles before she got boxed in by other drivers.

      1. How could you do that and not be too intoxicated to even start the car?

        1. She was twice the legal limit, which isn’t that high for a lifelong alcoholic. She claims that she wasn’t even drunk, and just panicked.

          This happened less than a mile from a level 1 trauma center. If she were smart about it, she would have driven straight there with the dude still in the windshield. But nope, she drove in circles trying to get the guy to fall off….

          1. Should have done like the chick in Ft. Worth a few years ago — drive home and park the car in your garage until the guy dies.

  14. The White House says new procedures will be put in place to prevent a similar error in the future.

    Of course, every error is unique.

  15. Iraq is in chaos. President Obama announced this afternoon that he’s “looking at all the options” available to remedy the situation.

    Hello, Gulf War 3.0! What should we call you?

    Operation Everlasting War?

    Operation Enduring Conflict?

    Operation Perennial Entanglement?

    1. “Do we get to win this time?”

    2. Operations Enduring Headache

    3. Operation line the pockets of the contractors?

    4. Operation Limping Futility

    5. Operation: Bush’s Fault

    6. Operation Mission Accomplished Yet Again?

    7. Operation Blinding Light?

      1. Followed closely by “Operation Polish the Glass Floor?”

    8. Operation Oh God Not This Place Again

      Operation Dammit The Midterms Are Coming Up

    9. Operation No, Sir, We’re Not Going Through This Shit Again.

    10. Operation No One’s Talking About The VA Now

      1. Sad but true!

    11. Operation Stinkin’ Desert

    12. Operation Turns Out Washington Had a Point?

    13. BOOOOOOOSH!!!!

    14. Operation Wag the Dog

    15. Operation Big Ass Military Assault

      1. Lo que hiciste, lo veo.

    16. Operation Just in Time For The Hottest Summer Ever.

  16. Marcotte goes all out trying to reach peak derp:

    If having all your money stripped from you gets you up and out the door a-hustling, then why on earth do we have any rich people at all? Especially people who make money off investments or inheritance, which they do not work for? If the theory is that the best way to get people up and working is to strip them of all their creature comforts, let’s start with the rich. Let’s start with the richest people in society. Take all their money, put them out on the street and let’s see what happens! If the conservative theory is right and privation is really what gets someone working, then those rich people will immediately turn from indolent slobs into incredibly productive citizens.

    1. Fuck you in the ass for printing that, and me for reading it.

      FUCK! IT HURTS!!!!

      1. I am reading the comments, help! HELP!

        1. RUN TO THE LIGHT, CPA!

          RUN!!! TO!!! THE!!! LIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

          1. I closed the tab, I closed it.

            *sobs heavily into hands*

          2. It’s too late for him. We have to leave him behind. Get to the chopper!

            1. *takes hit from Predamandamarcotteator’s awesome lazer shooter thing – dies*

              1. Get your ass up! You don’t have time to bleed!

            2. Be merciful and at least end his suffering.

              1. *cuts chest with awesome Bowie knife*

              2. What happened to you, jesse? You used to be someone I could trust.

                1. You fucked up. You trusted jesse.

                  1. You fucked up. You trusted jesse.

                    THIS.

                    1. Yeah, except big A used an Animal House quote in a Predator subthread. He fucked up.

                    2. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE MIXED REFERENCES!!!

                      *dances around Episiarch, lording it all over him*

        2. The only problem is that the rich stripped of wealth would still have an edge: education already paid for, experience to put on a resume, contacts to stroke for an edge, favors owed, and a sociopathetic outlook that allows them to cause harm to others in order to get ahead. The real test would be to strip their identities and plunk them down somewhere they are cut off from help and intangible resources, as well as makingnthem compete against people who are also sociopathic or ensuring they are punished for sociopathic behaviors.

          1. They are still priviliged by being cisgendered. Got to get rid of that too to make it fair.

          2. This is how Hitler came to power. THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE is what let Stalin kill millions. Mao and Pol Pot committed their atrocities on the backs of these useful idiots.

            1. Yup. The mask slips, and the hate comes roaring out. She wants to not just take their money, but everything they have. It’s pathological. It’s sadistic. It’s repulsive. And it’s perfectly acceptable to almost everyone who reads her shit.

              1. Progressives love their cathartic rants, but almost none of them have the balls to act out their fantasies. They’re like 4-year-olds having a temper tantrum because they were denied a piece of candy.

                1. Good. If they act out their fantasies, then the concentration camps get built.

                  1. For whom? This is Pol Pot’s year zero plan.

                    We know how that ended.

          3. I hate you. I hate you so very much for posting that. I hate you with every fibre of my being.

            I’m sad now. 🙁

          4. “Sociopathetic” outlook? Dumb, or attempted cleverness?

            1. Dumb.

              1. Amazing how every single wealthy person is a sociopath? And what does she consider wealthy? I’m betting she thinks anyone who makes more than an internet columnist.

          5. I saw this movie. you get back by swapping out the crop report for oranges.

            1. *slowly presents – one – dollar – bill – to NoVAH*

            2. not oranges, frozen orange juice concentrate

          6. RAPE CULTURE

            PLUNDER CULTURE!

          7. Didn’t they make a movie out of that in the 80’s with that Blues Brother guy and that black fellow who liked to grab his crotch?

    2. It has an oddly threatening tone, doesn’t it?

      1. Oddly? More like “explicitly”, except for the fact that Marcotte and her ilk are cowards of the first order who can only see their fever fantasies come true if the state does it for them.

        Rants like hers are funny for the strange mixture of threatening talk of taking everyone’s stuff with the total impotence of their ability to do it. It’s like a guy who can’t get an erection threatening to rape someone.

        1. When you talk about the State doing things on behalf of them, this Bastiat quote comes to mind:

          “But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them and gives it to other persons to whom it does not belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime.”

    3. I am sorry to say this. But this is basically my father’s view of taxation. Nor were we poor. I doubt Marcotte came from poor either.

      1. Most class warfare is the upper middle class wanting to tear down the upper class and take their place.

        1. Take it away, George:

          “These people look towards the USSR and see in it, or think they see, a system which eliminates the upper class, keeps the working class in its place, and hands unlimited power to people very similar to themselves. It was only after the Soviet r?gime became unmistakably totalitarian that English intellectuals, in large numbers, began to show an interest in it. Burnham, although the English russophile intelligentsia would repudiate him, is really voicing their secret wish: the wish to destroy the old, equalitarian version of Socialism and usher in a hierarchical society where the intellectual can at last get his hands on the whip.”

          1. “The aims of these three groups are entirely irreconcilable. The aim of
            the High is to remain where they are. The aim of the Middle is to change
            places with the High. The aim of the Low, when they have an aim–for it
            is an abiding characteristic of the Low that they are too much crushed
            by drudgery to be more than intermittently conscious of anything outside their daily lives–is to abolish all distinctions and create a society in
            which all men shall be equal.” – 1984

            1. The aim of the Low, when they have an aim–for it
              is an abiding characteristic of the Low that they are too much crushed
              by drudgery to be more than intermittently conscious of anything outside their daily lives–is to abolish all distinctions and create a society in
              which all men shall be equal.” – 1984

              This could only be thought true by someone blinded by their own classism.

          2. Perfect. And so very true.

        2. Yep, these privileged ninnies take their seething hatred and envy for the wealthy and project and amplify it onto the poor. In their minds, the poor and working class must be exponentially more hateful, envious, and depraved.

      2. Most history’s greatest socialist champions came from money and/or aristocracy. The problem is, they themselves generally sucked at both.

        1. See Obama’s buddy, Bill Ayers. Son of ConEd (I think) Chairman.

    4. I’m all for testing this. Let’s take everyone who is sitting on a million dollars or more in assets, take it all from them, and test this theory that privation is more motivating than opportunity.

      Congresscreatures first.

      1. On second thought, no.

      2. A million in assets? So like a pretty nice house and a retirement account? A million bucks ain’t what it used to be.

    5. Dammit, now I need to coax my brain out of the breakroom. It’s afraid you’re going to make me read shit like that again.

      1. Mine is threatening to leap out a 15th story window. It’s telling me it doesn’t want to live in a world where people think that makes sense. Help.

    6. She really thinks everyone that inherits anything is a trustafarian doesn’t she?

      1. I’ll wager she’s a bit of a trustafarian, and guilty about it, and projecting.

        1. BINGO.

          1. Don’t forget the animism:

            “And this is why we need to eliminate trusts. Because people with trusts get all….trusty-y, and then repress people who don’t have trusts. So the trusts make people bad! Therefore, we should ban trusts.” – AM

    7. BURN, STRAW MAN!!!!!!!!!!

    8. I’m pretty sure part of conservative theory is that taxes remove motivation to do more work. For instance, if you take everything someone makes over a million dollars, they aren’t going to put as much effort into getting back over a million, because you’ll probably just take it all again anyway.

      1. Yeah, she is completely missing the argument. It’s not having more stuff makes you not want to work. Its that giving you free shit and then rolling it back as you make more massively reduces the marginal benefit or more work/education/entreprenurealship etc. It’s a marginal cost/margianl benefit calculus. But I wouldn’t expect her to understand basic mico econ.

    9. “If the conservative theory is right and privation is really what gets someone working”

      Who said this?

      1. “If the conservative theory is right and privation is really what gets someone working”

        Who said this?

        Pretty sure it was this guy.

  17. The White House won’t fire anybody over the big oopsy that revealed who the CIA’s top agent in Afghanistan is.

    Why not Scooter Libby? We all know everything is Booooooosh’s fault!!!

    1. Yeah – “Scooter Libby, your thoughts?”

  18. “Hopefully the cops are done teargasing protesters,”

    Just in time to start tear-gassing fans! Woot!

    1. *stands collapse – chaos ensues*

        1. Hey! They can’t teargas our fans!

          Only WE can teargas our fans!

  19. Two random topics tonight.

    1) H&R is so much better since I started using the block feature of the addon. In particular, the lack of “BOOOOOOOOOOOSCH” and “Socons! Socons! Socons!” has made a huge difference.

    2) I can’t remember if John comes around the PM Links, but I hear you’ll be in the Boston area soon?

    1. You got a Team RED daisy chain suck-off planned?

      Invite sarcasmic!

      1. I can’t tell if you’re trying to insult them or trying to get them to act out a fantasy of yours. NTTAWWT?

    2. Yall keep setting up all these meetups and social shit. Am I the only real libertarian here?

  20. “Baltimore officials approved a $3.4 million deal Wednesday to sell a Fells Point pier for development of a luxury hotel after chiding a developer for trying to include campaign contributions to local politicians as part of the project’s costs.

    http://www.baltimoresun.com/ne…..z34S7P4k1N”

    Thought this was pretty amusing, some developers being honest about the costs of doing business and the politicians immediately telling them to keep it quiet.

    1. WOW. Just wow. On another note, I heard from a friend – unconfirmed – that some European countries used to allow deducting bribes paid to foreign tyrants against income for taxation purposes. Maybe it’s BS, but Ivan see the rationale behind something like it.

  21. I am afterall just an outsider here, but if I may ask in regards to the 24/7 Newsfeed side article ‘Who is Dave Brat?..”

    https://reason.com/24-7/2014/06…..or#comment

    Just who are the commenters in that thread? They seemed particularly aggro towards each other.

    1. “On The Road To Mandalay” is a troll, probably a familiar one under a different name.

    2. What’s 24/7?

      1. Exactly.

      2. I’m pretty sure it’s that thing that Reason tried to force on us for a couple weeks before abandoning the effort entirely.

      3. Fuck. That whole thread is full of weirdoes.

    3. The usual mix of demented, basement-dwelling losers.

      So – kindred spirits.

    4. Who are all those guys? Is there a whole cohort of reason posters out there who creep around in the dregs of the site, aka 24/7, never showing their gaunt faces in HnR?

      1. I think it’s bizarro-HnR. Bizarro-Warty is a 98-pound weakling who respects women, Epi is a straightedge guy who’s offended by jokes about banging people’s moms, Nicole is actually the best, and so on.

        1. And they all have mustaches. That’s how we can tell them apart from their doppleganger.

            1. *applause*

              Is Bizzaro STEVE SMITH a gentle creature, urban and urbane in outlook, working as an anti-rape advocate?

  22. A group of radical Islamists who don’t respect borderlines are running amok in your puppet state, destabilizing it. They also have a strong presence in the neighboring country who is having a civil war. Now, your designated foe country is intervening on behalf of your puppet state and subduing those guys who don’t respect borderlines. Which option will you choose?

    1. Join up with the destabilizers against the designated foe.
    2. Join up with the designated foe, against the destabilizers.
    3. Try kill both the destabilizers and the designated foe.
    4. Ignore scenario.

    1. 5. Get popcorn, pull up chair, turn on cable news

      1. 6. Eagerly look forward to coming Sheldon Richman article about the US and Israeli evulness that required the Iranians to valiantly and selflessly intervene there.

        1. 7. Read comics, cause not so intelligent to predict what Sheldon Richman will do (but you’re prolly right!)

    2. How about:

      5. Feign outrage while secretly cheering designated foe while they bomb the destabilizers.

      Pakistan has #5 mastered very well.

    3. 7. Arm the destabilizers, your puppet state, the designated foe, the ethnic minority to the north, and the ally to the west then watch them murder each other.

    4. 8. Set a tee time

    5. Grab as much shit as you can and flee to the Caribbean or South America.

      1. Oops, for some reason my mind glossed over “puppet” state.

        Blame the Kochs.

          1. thought you were referring to the actual game plan of BO.

      2. Hawaii, Merka’s Venezuela/Bolivia/Ecuador!

        How much he put in the slushfund so far do you think?

        1. I guess it does work either way. That’s pretty much what he and his friends are doing.

          And as a former Hawaiian resident, I feel I should be offended by that remark. …I can’t question its accuracy, but still!

          1. Hey, I’m a current HI resident.

  23. Tha fuck?

    The Ivy Quad is a sacred space. TBTN is well attended by flawless SAT’s and international superstar students. We start in the lecture hall and are notified that we have violated the fire code with our crowd. So we spill out to the grassy space. The stories pour forth. She looks like she is 6’2″ and says her boyfriend says he’ll break up with her if she won’t sleep with him. Then, another woman says it was her coach in middle school.

    They are really reaching now, aren’t they? So the alternative to nuevo rape is male slavery?

    1. That was hard to read. No, just hard to follow.

      1. That’s just because you’re a cis shitlord. Your privilege is clouding your comprehension!

      2. I shouldn’t have known not to have gotten in the car.” Self-blame by most every victim.

        I think its some barely intelligible stream-of-consciousness crap with absolutely no editing. There’s no other explanation for why someone would post that shit.

        1. Yeah, much more effort put into random drunken H&R comments than that crap.

    2. “I’m a victim tooooo! Look at me! Look at me! I FEEL IT! The victimhood!!! Yeeeearrrrgh!”

      1. I love how every “take down” of the George Will article (where he says that victim status confers privileges and that SJWs are conflating a very broad standard of sexual assault with rape)immediately argues that the victims say it doesn’t, so there is no more argument, then conflates rape victims with sexual assault victims.

        It’s astounding in it’s consistency.

    3. A whole Quad of butthurt. Wow.

    4. He says you don’t put “rape victim” on your resume. It’s not good for interviews. You are perceived as weak . . .

      No, you’re perceived as FUCKING INSANE. Why would you think that putting that on a *resume* is a good idea?

      1. The only reason I can think is that it confers some kind of status…

  24. Complete and utter bullshit penalty.

    1. Brazil got a third goal, so maybe you can make the case they would have won anyway, but the ref really screwed Croatia.

      1. No you can’t make that case. A goal that puts your opponent ahead forces you to open up and attack more thereby leaving yourself open to a counter-attack. Sure maybe Brazil would have scored again anyways but it changes the whole game.

        1. *Gasp* A THIRD GOAL???? IN ONLY AN HOUR AND A HALF????? CHAOS!!! ANARCHY!!!

          Soccer is boring as shit.

  25. Since shrieky complains that I never say anything bad about TEAM Red, suck on this

    Republican Senator Thad Cochran Admits to Doing All Sorts of Indecent Things With Animals in His Youth (video)

    Cochran in his speech opening was telling of his family connections to the Pine Belt area, where as a child he would often visit his grandmother in the country. He joked about “doing all sorts of indecent things with animals” as a kid. The audience appeared to take it as intended — a joke, apparently about harassing wildlife or livestock.

    Of course, it was a cow-tipping joke, badly phrased. Let the bestiality accusations begin.

    1. When you tip the cows, you’re not supposed to push from the back?

      1. He must have also learned about pork barrels while out in the country.

  26. Woman Faces A Year In Jail For Beating Drone Operator, Assault Caught On Video

    On the video Mears is clearly shown attacking Haughwout. She rips his shirt, holds him down, attempts to scratch his face and puts her fingers in his mouth. At one point she yells, “I’m going to beat your ass you little motherfucker.” Haughwout is heard screaming for help, asking other people to call 911 and report the assault. Eventually Mears leaves Haughwout alone, giving him enough time to call the police to report the assault.

    According to Haughwout, the police responded to the assault in 10 or more vehicles. They first listened to her story in which she claimed Haughwout assaulted her, that he “was taking close ups of people in bikinis” and that she had asked Haughwout to stop flying before calling the police, but he refused.

    After hearing her side of the story, the police approached, clearly intending to arrest Haughwout. However, before they could place him under arrest he told the police that he recorded the entire incident. Haughwout stated, “I had video evidence that she went nuts completely unprovoked, and was the one that assaulted me.”

    1. Of course the cops were ready to haul the man off on the woman’s good word that he was a peeper and a creep and totally raped her with his drone eyes.

      If he hadn’t recorded the entire incident, he’d have probably gone to jail himself.

    2. Definitely not hot enough to pull off that kind of crazy.

  27. WF is Adobe reader doing that it *constantly* needs to access the hard drive?

    Adobe programs are freaking annoying. I had to go through my startup to turn off all the Adobe processes (so it will stop constantly telling me to update – seriously, like multiple updates everyday – and will not run when I start-up) and its managed to turn the auto-updater back on.

    So, until I go in and manually turn off the auto-update process I get a *continuous* tat-tat-tat-tat of HD access. I don’t think there’s a more bullshit *legit* application on the market.

    1. Adobe Flash is the sorriest piece of software in existence. It fucks me up all the time but deleting it is lame since most web sites use it.

    2. Have you tried Sumatra?

      The website is so eye-rapey you KNOW all the care went into program design and none of it into marketing.

      Foxit is a bit more polished and has free *basic* reader and a premium version. It’s been a few years since I’ve messed with either of them, but they both work and were both faster than Adobe Reader.

  28. Mocton’s on it.

    In 1990, the IPCC said equilibrium climate sensitivity would be 3 [1.5, 4.5] K. In 2007, its estimates were 3.3 [2.0, 4.5] K. In 2013 it reverted to the 1990 interval [1.5, 4.5] K per CO2 doubling. However, in a curt, one-line footnote, it abandoned any attempt to provide a central estimate of climate sensitivity ? the key quantity in the entire debate about the climate. The footnote says models cannot agree.

    Frankly, I was suspicious about what that footnote might be hiding. So, since my feet are not yet fit to walk on, I have spent a quiet weekend doing some research. The results were spectacular.

    1. IPCC needs more models to know what the actual value is.

      It’s not like actual data can be used to figure it out, that’s denier talk.

      1. The entire argument is over what the climate sensitivity to CO2 is. It’s telling that they no longer try to quantify it.

        1. What they love doing is going back to Arrhenius, who calculated a value close to that 3 deg. They dredge him up to prove its a constant and has been proven for a long time.

          This is their way to get around Climatology being only a few decades old and based on way too much modeling. Plus they get to ignore all the known and unknown feedbacks and focus on Carbon.

  29. NPR host nags Hillary about her belated conversion to SSM. Hillary is upset at the suggestion that she had political motivations.

    “”The ’90s were another era, she said, and replied “of course,” when asked if she was glad the Supreme Court has since struck down elements of DOMA.

    “But at the time, “There was a very concerted effort in the Congress to make it even more difficult and greater discrimination and what DOMA did is at least allow the states to act. It wasn’t going yet to be recognized by the federal government but at the state level there was the opportunity. And my husband was the first to say, that you know, the political circumstances, the threats that were trying to be alleviated by the passage of DOMA, thankfully, were no longer so preeminent and we could keep moving forward and that’s what we’re doing.””

    http://www.politico.com/story/…..07788.html

    1. It was just a typical tongue bath of Npr on a D. “Tell us about how you’ve been a lifelong defender of human rights, and have always been a proud supporter of GBTLQ shit. Was it hard when the Republicans played politics and forced you to distance yourself from the gay cause which you have always supported, it sure is rough that you had to pretend to be against SSM in order to be politically viable in that Republican-dominated era of gay-hatred.”

      1. But didn’t she get pissed off at the suggestion she went with the political winds on Gay Marriage?

        I wish they would ask that of Dems more often — and ask them about the demonization if you don’t agree with the current standard.

  30. Please, Supreme Court, save our buffer zones!

    “What’s happening in front EMW Women’s Surgical Center represents perhaps the worst harassment of abortion providers across the country. For clinics in states or cities that have buffer or bubble zone ordinances?about 40 states have no statewide ordinances protecting clinics?patients have more freedom to enter a clinic unencumbered. That is not the case in Louisville, where the clinic is perched in the center of a business district, lacking any of the protections that come from private parking or fencing around the premises. In that situation, public sidewalks become a fearsome gauntlet?crowded with crosses, pictures of the Virgin Mary, signs about murder or Jesus’s love and the massive graphic images becoming more commonplace every day. Add in the bodies of the escorts in orange vests, and the yellow-vested abortion opponents known as Speak for the Unborn racing them to reach the patients first, and the sidewalk becomes a scrum of noises, signs and people.”

    http://www.politico.com/magazi…..5oio_ldVW8

    1. “We can’t abort our babies without being inconvenienced by people who believe we’re about to commit murder!”

  31. “Polls on left and right agree: Eric Cantor didn’t lose on immigration”

    http://www.politico.com/story/…..z34SuxJDAa

  32. Man gets his penis stuck in a pipe for two days.

    An embarrassed Tien said: “It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result.”

    I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it had got stuck.

    “I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down.

    “I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn’t. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection.”

    No shit.

    1. Who hasn’t gotten their dick stuck in a pipe after slipping while painting naked on a hot day?

      1. Rick Perry?

    2. I read somewhere that in Japan, most reported penis.injuries are claimed to.be the result of “falling out of bed.”

      Uh huh.

      1. In the US, things stuck in the anus are almost always because of wet feet from the shower.

  33. Man faces new accusations of having sex with pool float

    Police said Edwin Tobergta, 35, was seen having simulated sex with a pink life raft on Route 4 at about 8 a.m.

    Witnesses said Tobergta was nude and in view of nearby businesses and passing cars.

    According to police records, Tobergta was arrested for similar crimes in 2011 and 2013.

    In 2011, he was accused of having sex with his neighbor’s pool float and was convicted of public indecency.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.