Alcohol

Professor Fired Due to His Masterfully Crafted Beard

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a man with a crazy beard
Credit: Greg Anderson

Dr. Paul Roof, a professor of sociology at Charleston Southern University, was recently fired from the small Christian school in South Carolina for having an amazing beard…or as the university put it, because his likeness showed up on a beer can.

The brewing company, ironically called Holy City Brewing, used a picture that Roof submitted to a beard competition last fall as the design for their questionably named suds, "Chucktown Follicle Brown." 

Roof was called into the dean's office last Wednesday. He said in an interview with Live 5 News in Charleston, "We came to an understanding, and there appeared to be no problems with the beer ad or the beer can." Two days later though, he was called into the vice president's office and fired. He told The Raw News

"I was told that it was not representative of a Christian environment, and for me a Christian environment entails two things: looking out for other people and forgiveness of others who've transgressed you." 

It's hard to see where Roof "transgressed" anyone at all. He says that he wasn't even aware that his picture was going to be used on the can. "I'm not compensated for the image, I don't own the image, and the use of the image was a surprise to me."

The loss of his job would perhaps be understandable if he was handing out the new beer to his students or if he came to class with eight of them in his belly, but it seems a bit excessive to get fired just because this awe-inspiring picture showed up as the design for a recreational beverage. After all, one of Jesus' most well-known miracles was turning water into wine—a feat that every kid on Charleston Southern University's campus probably aspires to.

In the past few years, the extent to which colleges have gone to put a bubble around their campus and shelter their students has been nothing short of amazing, but this episode might just take the cake. Though the university may not have shown him very much compassion or forgiveness, he has received an outpouring of support on social media. He told Live 5 News that he isn't sure what it would take to get his job back, and that he's not even sure that he would want it back.

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  1. Sorry, Bub. I’m all out of empathy.

    1. this

      Jesus fucking AntiChrist, I just don’t care.

  2. “it was not representative of a Christian environment…”

    Obviously, everyone knows Christ was a wine drinker.

  3. If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

  4. Jesus Christ, wasn’t very nice; he smoked dope with the pope and had sex with lesbian nuns because Jesus was a homo, Jesus was a homo, Jesus was a homosexual!

    – Most Offensively Awesome/Hilarious song by Pump’n Ethyl, evah.

  5. After all, one of Jesus’ most well-known miracles was turning water into wine…

    It’s a Southern Baptist School – ‘wine’ is the word God uses for ‘grape juice’. There was no yeast and therefore no alcohol in that wine.

    1. If you listen carefully, you might be able to hear my eyes rolling.

      1. Obviously you didn’t grow up in a Southern Baptist church, otherwise you’d know that Jerryskids speaks the truth.

        Also no dancing or loud music.

        1. Oh, I know about them. But the eye thing is an uncontrollable response.

          1. I remember when I was a kid the older people in the congregation actually threw a fit and threatened to leave if my parents’ church added a guitar, bass, and drum trio to the service. The solution was to just hold two different services, one traditional and one “newer and hip.”

            It’s not like this was that long ago either. Given my age, I put it right around 1998-2000.

            1. Accusing old people who like traditional church services with traditional music of “[throwing] a fit”. Classy.

            2. I was born in 1972 and raised Catholic. I hated the new music, which I think was flute and guitar at the church my family attended. Of course, I remember visiting my German relatives back in 1989, having to go to Mass because the mother of the house was a devout Catholic, and being surprised that they didn’t do the “share your germs by offering some sign of Christ’s peace” crap that’s done in US Catholic churches. And I remember going to a Mass at college during freshman parents’ weekend or something where they held hands during the Our Father. Bleah.

              You don’t want to know the obscenities that cross my mind every time I hear the name Marty Haugen.

    2. Preach it, Pastor! All Biblical references to wine need to be interpreted correctly. The parts whose literal meaning we like should be read literally, though.

    3. And it is nearly impossible to stop grape juice from fermenting given that native yeasts are everywhere.

      1. So Jesus turned water into pruno?

    4. …because they were able to store their grape juice in the holy refrigerators.

  6. I agree that the college can fire him, but they look like a howling pack of bleeding fuckfaces for doing so.

    Besides, they are depriving their student and themselves of that magnificent beard.

    1. I know. That thing is impressive. I wonder how long it takes him to get it ready in the morning.

      1. He looks like he’s playing host to a starfish parasite.

          1. I’m sad that I knew exactly what that would be before I clicked on it, and YES.

            1. My revenge shall be swift and brutal.

              1. “you will pay”

                *hands begin trembling in anticipation of an HM punishment*

      2. When he eats it must look like an octopus ingesting a fish.

  7. “Besides, they are depriving their student and themselves of that magnificent beard.”

    They only have one student? Wow, Christian schools are really in the crapper.

    1. Yeah, yeah. Kick a man when he’s down, why dontcha?

  8. So his beard was a potential “trigger”. Sounds like CSU needs to put up little beard stickers to warn students of the horrors, in case of any future beard related incidents.

  9. Meanwhile…professors get to keep their jobs for far worse offenses. Exhibit A, that idiot who attacked the 16 year-old pro-life activist in California.

    1. Public vs Private. The dean here thinks that this guy appearing on a beer can will damage the brand of his private institution.

      Meanwhile the crazy bint in Cali is painting herself as the victim. It’s almost cop level bullshit.

      1. Yeah, read that. All sorts of crazy in that.

        And yes, the private part is important.

  10. I’m sure they are just concerned for the students’ physical safety. I mean look how he has to wear protective goggles to keep from poking out his own eyes with that thing.

  11. “Magnificent” is not a word which comes to mind as I look at that thing.

    1. If he truly styles it in that manner on a daily basis, the argument could be made that it is also distracting students from what otherwise ought to be a cirriculum focused experience.

      Although I doubt that played any role in their desire to terminate.

      1. Do you think so? Given how quickly people get bored with certain stimulus, I’d say that after a week or two it would be almost as boring as if he wore the same sweater every day.

        1. stimuli*

    2. this, also

  12. looking out for other people and forgiveness of others who’ve transgressed you.

    That sounds like a decidedly progressive take on the gospel and given that he’s a sociology professor, it wouldn’t surprise me whatsoever to discover he tilts left.

    If that were the case, it’s not entirely unlikely that the school has been searching for cause to terminate him for some time and that this development may have given them sufficient cover.

    1. Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.

      Indian Larry had that tattoed backward on his neck, so he’d be able to read it in a mirror.

      Still died falling off his bike* in a parking lot, so….make of it what you will.

      *admittedly, he was *standing* on the seat, not sitting, so it was a bit of a fall…

    2. That sounds like a decidedly progressive take on the gospel

      It’s not really a bad quick and dirty of the gospels. Enjoy the tale of Ananias and Sapphira.

      The God of the New Testament isn’t much for Objectivism.

      1. In theory, that could be more about the act of deceiving the Holy Spirit as opposed to keeping profit.

        Although the whole camel squeezing through the head of a needle line in Matthew(?) certainly gives the New Covenent a bit of a commie bent.

        1. Yes. I think the story is more explicitly about the deceit than it is about the property, but the pattern of people voluntarily giving away their property to the church/community is established as a core component of early Christianity both under Jesus and the Apostles. Clearly Ananias and Sapphira felt that giving all of their property was the right thing to do to the point that they were willing to deceive Peter to look good.

  13. Since when is discriminating against beardos not acceptable? I am with the college on this one.

    1. Since when is discriminating against beardos not acceptable?

      When “Islamophobia” became a word.

      1. Case in point, beardo hate is always acceptable.

    2. That’s the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

  14. Sorry if I offend anyone by referencing Lew Rockwell’s views, but this story doesn’t have anything to do with libertarianism.

    1. Sure it does. If I were a prospective student about to spend money on a school that acted in this manner I would look elsewhere. A government run college forces one to pay regardless. Not paying the govt for its piss poor school results in violence.

      Libertarian enough for ya?

      1. But this isn’t a government-run school, It’s a private, religiously affiliated school.

  15. That dude’s beard is kick ass!! Hopefully folks sign him up for beard modeling and his salary exceeds that of which he makes by 50 fold.

    Jesus drank wine, so eff you!

  16. Hey, if this guy wants a job that he can keep for life no matter what stupidity he gets up to, he better go work for a PUBLIC institution.

    That said, why is this story even on Reason.com? A private business made a business decision. The end; and who cares?

  17. This is amazing. With the 100,000 incidents of censorship of Christian speech on campuses across the nation, Reason picks on this small college for firing this professor that would likely not last on half of the atheist-friendly and Christian-hostile campuses either, with their free-speech zones, dress codes, and sign here on this morality clause.

    Libertarian? Really?

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